Using Core Wounds to Propel Your Success with Jeffrey Van Dyk
In today's episode, we are gifted with a through and through teacher. I felt like I sat beneath a rabbi and now I know what it feels like when people have called me the entrepreneurial rabbi in the past.
In today's episode, he talked about core wounds, and if you followed The F.I.T. and Faith Podcast for any amount of time, or you've been a part of our coaching, then, you know, we speak to the pain to passion transformation zone and that we have to lean into the pains as much as we do the passions. He speaks to that, but he does it at a level that I actually haven't ever heard before.
Be sure you follow him, go listen to his podcast, and learn from his wealth of knowledge!
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Jeffrey Van Dyk is the founder of The Courageous Messenger, which helps trailblazers, visionaries and change makers bring their paradigm shifting work to the world. Jeffrey is known for helping his clients connect to their higher guidance to understand their larger mission and the why behind their work. His pioneering work with core wounds helps leaders strategically use their life’s biggest challenges to create more effective, engaging messaging and marketing that connects deeply with their audience. Jeffrey’s global work has included co-founding a purpose institute in Israel and working with business and political leaders in Colombia to heal the wounds of the country. While at Microsoft, he designed speaker training systems for world-changing leaders like Peter Jennings, Bill Gates, former French President, Jacque Chirac, and former Prime Minister of Israel Ariel Sharon. Jeffrey can be reached at www.TheCourageousMessenger.com
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Show Notes: Using Core Wounds to Propel Your Success
Whoa today, we are gifted with a through and through teacher. I felt like I set beneath a rabbi and now I know what it feels like when people have called me the entrepreneurial rabbi in the past, this guy y'all he has been alongside people like. Bill gates and the former French president, Jacque Shrock and the former prime minister of Israel.
He is just a wealth of knowledge. He's actually even planted an Institute in Israel, but what he does now on a day to day is creates courageous messages for courageous messengers who come to him, other trailblazers, you know, that's a sweet spot for me, visionaries and change makers. And helping them create paradigm shifting work for the world.
And I was just like, what, everything that he was sharing specifically around core wounds, if you followed the fit and faith podcast for any amount of time, or you've been a part of our coaching, then, you know, we speak to the pain and passion transformation zone and that we have to lean into the pains as much as we do the passions.
And he's speaking to that, but he does. Such a depth of a level that I actually haven't ever heard. And so I want you guys to get your hands on his resource. I want you to go to the courageous messenger.com and write on the homepage. Super easy. Put your name and email in. He's not gonna just help you create your own.
Courageous message. He's gonna help you create and share your unique genius with the world by finding this specific point that only you can do and drill in a mile deep. And he talks about it a ton in this episode. And so if you don't get your hands on it, you'll be remissed and I don't want you to be so tag us both.
Definitely, definitely. I can't wait to go listen to his podcast, the Jeffrey van Dyke show, and he's also has. Foot group that you can join. And he does activation Tuesdays with even more information. He's an executive coach and has so many programs that you can get invested in. I'm just grateful to get to know him, uh, and learn from him.
And so I told him I'm his next culprit. After we were offline in the backstage and said, I wanna learn, I wanna learn more. And so I'm looking forward to that relationship to emerge, but Jeffrey van. You guys without further ado, enjoy and thanks for following along and leaving a review to the fit babe podcast.
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast fit is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life holy, fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs and kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamara Andres and this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience.
I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high the, there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories. And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission.
So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith. All right. Without further ado, y'all don't know what's been going on in the background, this podcast, something in the energy or the spiritual realm is like this ain't happening, but Jeffrey endured alongside me. I am so excited to have you on the fit and faith podcast to bring not only you as the courageous messenger, but to bring a courageous message I believe to the world.
And it's what you're doing every single day and helping others do the same. So thanks for hanging. You gotta, I'm so glad to be here. Thank you for having me. It's gonna be really good. You're so welcome. You guys. There is something in common that you have to know right out the gate that peaked my interest.
When I learned about who Jeffrey is and how he shows up in the world. And it's thet on the end of the fit in faith podcast. And I don't see this word often. And so I'm curious, trailblazers, who, and how have you lent yourself to trailblazers around you and what you do every day to support? Yeah. Um, you know, one of the things that God always tells me is that we are living in a society that's based on an old story story is how we create in the beginning was the word and the word was made flesh.
Right? So, uh, the mission I'm on is to help activate a new story for humanity. And the people on earth that are doing that are trailblazers, they're paradigm changers, they're people reshaping how we see and understand, uh, industries, you know, how we see and understand who we are in our communities, uh, who we are as business leaders, et cetera.
Um, and so all the people that I serve are people. Usually they're going along in life and life is good. And then something happens. They wake up to this deeper calling, Hey, I'm meant to do this thing in the world. And usually for my clients, the thing they're called to do is pretty left of center. It's not like you're every day thing that other people are doing.
In fact, it's usually something nobody else is doing. And they come to me saying, I know I'm meant to do this. I don't know how to shape it. I don't know how to package it. I don't know how to message it so I can bring it to the market and make the change I'm here to make. And, uh, all the work I do is in helping to really be a translator of that calling into commerce and into their business and into the world.
Ooh. I love that. I love that language right there at the end is like the translator aspect into commerce. Because I think a lot of times people think God calling isn't connected necessarily to business, right? Yeah. They think that it's just like their purpose, their ultimate purpose, and that they can live their purpose within any facet or way shape or form, which I believe.
Um, but I found based on the trailblazer aspect that entrepreneurship or business or commerce. Are connected to our ultimate mission. Yeah. And I love the rewriting of the narrative and the story that's been, you know, perpetual for, for decades. Um, I could, I could say thousands of years really um, yeah, but it's this knowing that there is, I believe a rising of these kingdom entrepreneurs and people who are wanting to, to step into the mission field on message.
And I love what, you're, what you're speaking to. Yeah, let me give you one quick example just to presence it. Like one of my clients right now is a very accomplished real estate developer. And you would think that real estate is designed to house people, right? Uh, he has this calling. He said, Jeffrey, I know I'm meant to use real estate to help people self actualize, to help them become a, a, a, a better version of themselves that can contribute more to society.
Uh, now. How do these two worlds come together, right? Like real estate and self actualizations. You don't normally put them in the same, you know, in the same sentence, let alone the same book. Um, but really. You know, as we get into it, it's about, so we're creating a team right now of neuroscientists and color theorists and, you know, lighting technologists who know how to create lighting that works with your circadian rhythms.
Because one of the things that he heard in his calling is that he is meant to help people de accelerate. Wow to, to get present. Wow. Right. And that there's all this technology we can build into real estate to help people do that, you know, let alone, Hmm. Maybe instead of a TV room, there's yoga room, right.
Maybe there's opportunities to help people just stop and breathe and take a moment. Uh, and if they were doing that on a regular basis, cuz where do they spend most of their time home. What would transform in their lives and in their service in the world. Right. So it's that kind of visionary thinking that like, okay, now, you know, that's something we definitely need to translate.
First of all, to his investors. To get them on board and, uh, get investors to want to start building these, this new form of real estate. Um, and then messaging to consumers that, Hey, there's another way to live. And here's an opportunity. So that's just one small example of that. Like, okay, this is really trailblazing, this isn't happening in this sector, but it is definitely a new story for what real estate can be in this.
No, I think that's brilliant. I'm like so eager. Uh, my husband is in like the real estate realm and contracting, and he's all about like net zero homes and energy efficiency. And I feel like the deceleration imagine having something that actually works from the earth energy versus all this electrical force thing going on.
I remember when everyone was super afraid of 5g when it came out right. Yeah. And so having that I think is a component of the deceleration. I also think that intuitive piece is really important. And honestly, if all of us could step in alignment with our emotional intelligence, our intuition, those are all God given, you know, Components to who we are.
Absolutely. It's not a, a secondary scientific piece that just happens by circumstance. He is a very intentional creative, and I think that's, what's really neat about the line of work that we're both in is that we get to lean into that creativity and that visionary side to be able to help ex. Extract for more people and build something that is abstract that nobody's ever seen before.
What is that exactly right. Exactly. Yeah. And I get to do it on such a small level. Like I, I was thinking I was so excited to see what you're gonna say, cuz I have a lot of realtors who are drawn to how we show up in the world to help cultivate message and get people's messages out into the world. And it really is.
People coming into this understanding that there's, it's not that what we do for a business is wrong. It's that the intention behind it is bigger. Mm-hmm . And how do you communicate a bigger intention when everyone's platforms are the same? And so I'd be curious from a messaging perspective, how do you help people develop that?
Like to understand? Yeah. Yeah. Um, So there's two ways. Uh, I'll speak to the first is what I call mission based messaging. And, uh, I believe that. People have their problems. Like I don't have the house that I wanna buy and you can help. Right? Like that's the transactional piece. And, uh, alongside that is the transformation who they can become in the process of you delivering the transaction.
So if you think about like a T right, uh, where they come together, there's no one else in the world that does that exact thing. I call it the one square inch. You can drill a mile deep in the market. Um, and when you understand, there's a bigger reason, our, my peoples, for example, if I'm a real estate agent want a home, right?
What is that? Who are they wanting to become in the process of the transaction of, yes, I, I, I bought the house of my dreams and right. But why do they wanna buy it? And who are they? Who are they called to become? I believe that all of our audiences have what I call a shared mission. My audience, everyone I serve in their own way are here to help activate a new story for humanity.
Another client I have is one of the top dental hygienists in the country. Yes. Right. Travels around the world. Uh, speaking at dental hygiene conferences. But her mission is to transform oral healthcare and senior care facilities. Because, uh, Medicare doesn't pay for it and elders are dying of dirty teeth really?
Right? Yeah. So there's like a bigger mission she's up to, so if you think back to real estate, it's like, who do they want to become? And how do you name that thing in such a way that in your messaging, your audience would go that's me. I feel seen, I feel heard. I feel presence, right? Absolutely. Yeah. But even more I feel called forward.
Yeah, it's good. Cause all of our people want to become something more. It's always that innate desire for growth. And if we can name, you know, the evolutionary, the next, the next, uh, version of who they're called to be in the world. Yeah. And tie that to the transactional promise we make in our business.
Now that's when you've got raving fans, that's when you've got people that follow you and stay part of your world and wanna hear what you have to say year after year after year, I just ran a, uh, masterclass for my community. And at one point to prove a point around messaging, I, I had people just raise their hand in the zoom.
Right? How many of you followed me for one year? How many? For three? How many for. How many for eight? How many for 10? How many for 12? How many of you have been following me for 15 years? And there were still hands up. Right? So it's that kind of thing because it's being a champion for your people. Mm that's good.
And I think in messaging, one thing I was talking to in my community recently was about. Everyone wants something, right? Like we're a, a wanting society. Everything I want that I want that. I mean, I remember when I was little and I used to circle the big, like Sears catalogs for Christmas. I want this, I want this, like, right.
You want everything? Amazon wishlist. By an Amazon wishlist. That's hilarious. I have never presented that to my kids. I will remember not to , but realizing that like, we all want all of these things, but what do we actually need? And I think great messaging and great products or great services are when we present the want.
They come in for the want. And then they find out that what they needed, which they didn't really put a finger to is now being given. That's the raving fan where they're like, yeah, I didn't even recognize that this is what I was gonna be getting. It was so much more valuable than any dollar I could've spent any time.
I could've invested any resource that they would've exchanged. And that's that becoming piece? Right. That's that, you know, who am I becoming in the process of getting what you're selling? Um, let me share just a little piece around that. So one of the very first things that really started my career, um, I'd left Microsoft.
I, I was in that, like this isn't it anymore. I don't know what it is. I went on a date, uh, you know, and, and learned about coaching. And I was like, that's it. So I got trained in coaching. Uh, And then it was crickets when I hung my shingle. right. Um, everybody said, you know, you gotta have a niche, but none of what people were saying made sense to me.
Cause it was like pick one or here's a lucrative niche or, you know, um, I got trained with a mentor of mine around life purpose work. And then I built a company with a platform builder. She was one of the big online, you know, what are you known for? Who knows you platform? Um, it was working with her that I really got my trail blazing first body of work, which was seeing how people's core wounds are part of the training program for their life purpose.
Totally. And that when we understand what the training program is, we can also decode who needs it, why they need it from you, why you were the one to deliver it and then how to package it. So they recognize it. Right? So, uh, in terms of like, Hey, what do they want? And what do they need? What they wanted was, I want to know who my market is and I want to connect more directly with them, what they needed.
Was actually to take their own place in authority and being a leader for that audience. They didn't know that was what was going on. Right. Okay. So I'll give you an example of this. I worked with a guy who, uh, was a consultant in Silicon valley, but he wasn't really positioned. He was well respected. So we got a lot of inbound leads, but he couldn't do outbound marketing.
So we do this process and I start with this two hour intake of people's life history, and I ask them these questions. What happened to you around their, their wounded memories? For sure. How did you feel? What did you crave? What did you do? What skills did you develop and what beliefs did you adopt? Six questions.
Each one has a marketing application. So what happened is part of brand story. Uh, how did you feel? That's the ouch that's the away from motivators, your tribe shares with you. What did you crave? That's longing your people share with you, right? What did you do tells me what unique skills you developed that your market can count on you for?
And what beliefs did you adopt tells me about the shared psychology your audience has with you that creates their known problems that you can market to so long as it's a problem they're aware of, have pain around and are willing to spend money, uh, to address brilliant. So, uh, Nobody had ever that I know of said, oh, core wounds and marketing.
Yay. Peanut butter, you know, chocolate. Yeah. Uh, but here's an example of it. Um, this guy came to me, we did the process. He was given up for adoption wife, left him for his business partner. It was betrayal, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. I was like, well, that's the pattern I'm looking for patterns, not specifics.
Cause it's the pattern that you share with your audience. That's a landscape, you know, in and out that when somebody else is in that landscape, You know exactly how to serve them. a little difficult, you know, in your own stuff completely. You can't see the forest or the trees all the time, right? Yeah. But, um, he looked at me like I had three heads, uh, and he is like, you're telling me, I'm gonna talk about betrayal to CEOs in Silicon valley.
I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not gonna market the pattern. You're gonna market the symptom of the pattern. Ooh. So we just follow the breadcrumbs. Yeah. Okay. If you have betrayal, you don't trust people. And if you're a CEO, where is that gonna cost you? Oh, when you don't trust your executive team. Ah, and what happens then?
Well, then you become a bottleneck. Uh, and if you're a bottleneck, then what? Well, then you slow down innovation. And then you die or get sold. Right? We, I used to work at this startup in, uh, in Silicon valley and we had a, the Berry effect. It was a brand inside our internal culture. Barry was the CEO I was part of right.
Love Barry, the Berry effect. Uh, I was part of this feature triage team and, uh, we would, we would prioritize certain things to develop. They'd go all the way in debate a development, and then he'd come in and like, eh, I don't like it and just, oh, no. Right. So I'm like, oh, I know this guy. I used to work for one.
Um, and sure enough, uh, the, the, the board ed him brought in somebody to position us for sale and we got sold, fortunately. Yeah. Um, but, uh, so I said, okay, so the real issue is an innovation issue because the CEO doesn't trust people, cuz they share a betrayal pattern with you. So we position him as an innovation consultant for small in size, uh, companies in Silicon valley.
And now when he's interviewing potential clients, he, he starts here. So tell me about your executive team. Do you trust him? Do you rely on him? Right. He interviews the executive team as well before he'll take on a gig cuz he knows what life has prepared for and what God has prepared him to do is to help these leaders build trust.
Because that's been his life's journey. That's the transformation that rides along with a transaction of, uh, boosting innovation. In these companies, there's no one else on the planet, right. That does that thing for those people. And that's what I mean by having that one square inch, you can drill a mile deep.
He also know, goes into the market with this deep confidence because he sees how his whole life prepared him to do this holy work. And that's, I, I think this I've never seen it presented in this way or heard it presented this way. I love. On a million different levels. And I'm thinking through like, um, the depth variation to what it is that I take clients through.
And we've simply talked about it in the community as a pain and passion transformation zone. And a lot of times people will come with a good idea, which is this idea of, you know, I'll use the real estate one. Um, and then they think this is it. This is my life stream. This is my life's passion. This is what I wanna do.
And when we go into doing the journey mapping and dissecting of their past triumphs and tribulations, like I want the good, the bad and the ugly, right. And they come in and like, by session two, they're like weeping, right? Yeah. They're like, right. This is not what I hired you for. Right? Like what and I'm like, I'm not a therapist.
I promise you. I'm not a therapist. We're gonna build a business. The first dream it's gonna come to fruition. But a good idea is the one thing that will eventually lose its shin. Right. It'll eventually run dry. It'll eventually get sold, but the God idea is to be able to infuse every element of thyself, because he's gonna use everything for good.
And I feel like when we can blend all of that together, that's where that confidence that you speak of to him. That's where that security and that authority come into play. And when you show up and you're speaking through your lens of experience, No one can touch that. Yeah. Because they can relate to it and they can connect with different realms, which is why you build missions.
And that's why communities are cultivated alongside you. But it's like this UN unapologetic, this is who I am. It's an identity. Yeah. Thing rather than in a good idea. It's that? I would add this. Yeah. This is who I am. Connected to this is my relevance in this market. Yeah, good. Right. Cause there's a lot of people I know that have a, this is who I am.
Yeah. They dunno when they go to market, their confidence gets drained cuz they don't see the, the connective tissue. Mm-hmm good between who they are and the needs in the market and the relevance they have in relationship to them. That's good. It's that connective tissue that helps them go. Not only is this who I am, this is who I am in service to you.
You know yeah. Really powerful. And that's when people can really be advocates and take a stand for their audience. Yeah. And I just loved how you'd taken it from even there, they can get that understanding, but then you're zooming back, zooming back, zooming back into that same place of like, what does the market want?
Right. And that is that innovation. I mean, everyone's gonna raise their hand. That sounds fun. That sounds sexy. That sounds like, yeah. Bring in the innovation consultant. Everyone's on board for that, right? Exactly. And then when you nail down trust, they're like, I don't have a trust issue. Right. But it's really that aha moment because they want so desperately the first thing, rather than the other thing they're willing to put in the hard work to get the outcome camera.
When, when this work came to me, I remember at one point, just talking with God and I was like, wow, you are a sly. Ooh. Like, you know, because I have this carrot of what they want, which is help me really find that once SCR I can drill a mile deep in the market where I am the authority in what I do, where I don't have any competition.
And I can say with no reservation, I'll, I'll give you that. I got you. Right. We can get you there. No problem at all. And then there's like the, we're just gonna have to go visit your core wounds on the way right. Like the very last thing the ego wants to look at is our crap. Right? Right. Our history. And so much of people trying to make themselves better is deeming their history as wrong or broken and needs to be fixed.
And one of the things that was laid on my heart. The way it always comes to me is, uh, to liberate people from the tyranny of their wounds. Wow. Mm-hmm, that like when they can bless the journey and not feel like a victim of it when they really, and I, I know this language is out there, but truly when they can see this happened for me not to.
And they can take ownership. Brene brown says until you own your story, your story owns you. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And, and this really part of the owning of this story is not just knowing that it happened, but connecting it to why it happened, seeing the gift of the journey as applied in commerce, in your business and your bottom line and in the bigger gift you can deliver to people through your service.
Um, and that's that piece where it's like, nobody. Is walking around asking for that. no right. Not so much. Um, but when they get it yeah, the way they can show up. So fullheartedly, and in their authority, in the market, it's just like, It every time, my heart just swells, you know? Yeah. It's just so good. It's so incredible.
I, I was, I'm thinking about a couple of people and I won't say their names out loud, but I'm gonna pass this show to them for sure. Afterwards. Um, I'm curious when you see the people who are operating really well on, on all cylinders are on success. Seems what, you know, the world's version of success seems right at it.
They seem happy on the outside, but you. You sense because of the work that you've done, that empathetic lens is always on mm-hmm , um, that there's more to the story that they could be living in that joy zone. I like to call it rather than just that happiness. They could be living in contentment rather than just I'm getting by.
Yeah. Um, how do you, and do you even. Conversate. Do you, you know, poke the bear. Do you give them here's an alternative option for you? Yeah, because I feel like if I was speaking into those executives or they're surrounded by me, I would wanna just like, let's just sit. Yeah. But they're not, they don't wanna just sit.
No, no, no, no, no. Um, I love that you asked this question, cuz this is like pretty far down the rabbit hole in my work. Um, okay. You know, it's like, you'll never see this in, in the front end of my marketing. Sure, sure. Um, there is a, a theologian and philosopher, uh, Petes. I heard talk once about fantasy and he said the, the fantasy of the gambler is not in winning at gambling.
The, the fantasy that gets perpetuated is the idea of what life would be like if they ever did win. So every time they go and get their scratcher or play the lot, they're playing not to actually win the lotto. They're paying to retain the fantasy of what life would be like if they ever did. Hmm. And we all know empirically that most people, when they win the lotto, their life goes to crap.
Yep. Right? Yep. Uh, and it hit me. I was like, oh my goodness. The fantasy of the ego is this, because I look at all this core wound stuff. Right. And at the base of my work, I help people name their. Core wound belief. And I am statement, which is basically the thing that I tell myself I am that I fight against and try not to.
Hm. And the primary way we do that is with external striving for success, that there's some level of success out here in the world that will prove to me that I'm not the thing that I say that I am. So if I say that I'm a loser, I've gotta be a winner. If I say I'm stupid, I need to be super smart. I once led a training and this lady raised her hand and she was like, I don't know what my core wound thing is.
And my intuition was talking and I was like, she said a few things. I was like, oh, I think you have a stupid wound. She's like, what? I was like, let me ask you how many degrees do you have? She goes, uh, graduate or postgraduate she had three master's degrees all from IB leagues. She was working on her second PhD at MI.
Wow. Right. And I said, now what would drive someone to get that much education? How, what would be the impetus for that? Wow. You would have to have a stupid wound that you're proving, you know, trying to prove is untrue. Now here's the thing. We all know that there's no, there, there there's no final destination.
There's no amount of degrees, nothing external that can disprove the thing you hold to be true internally. And that's where we need God's grace. Right? That's the thing we can't work to undo. It's only like, I think of God's grace, like liquid love. Like it can just pour into the nooks and crannies that are just so hard to access mentally.
Yeah. You know? And um, so part of what I do with those people is we help name what the game is, their. Right. Really name. Oh, and I will tell you, when we name the game, they usually sit there stunned, like holy crap. I'm seeing my whole life. Wow. In front of my eyes. Yeah. That's the motivation for everything I've done.
Wow. And, uh, usually by the time people come to me, especially if they're executives or leaders on some level that quest. Is drying up. Mm. Yeah. And there's a love that deeper soul calling. Yeah. You know, and that's why they're, they're getting that calling to do something new or innovative. And it's, it's not just calling them to develop this out in the world.
It's calling them to become the person that can deliver it. That's the part they don't always know they're signing up for. Yeah, right. Yeah. Um, as much as I tell them, uh, but when they see this fantasy, I call it the wound motivation or purpose motivation, or God motivation. We could put it in that language.
Right? Sure. Mission motivation. Sure. Are you trying to fight against something inside of you or you resolved around that? Are you at peace with that? Uh, You know, one of my clients years ago, my business manager and I had permission to share this story. She came to me and, uh, I mean, God, this is years ago.
She was like, told me the story, how she'd driven across town in Phoenix, like all the way across Phoenix to go to this networking event, got out of her car, walked up to the, uh, building, put her hand on the handle, let it go, turned back around, got back in her car, drive all the way across Phoenix to go.
Because she was filled with anxiety. Mm. And I chuckled cause I was like, we can deal with that. I'm like, that's no problem. And she's like what? I'm like. Yeah, no problem. Cause I know, oh, there's something that's poking the wound in there. Right? Sure enough. Her dad or stepdad used to beat her and demeanor verbally and called her, uh, stupid sob.
Um, you know, and uh, she's really wicked smart and super fast, you know, really quick. Uh, and I think he, he just threatened her. She threatened him. Excuse me. So, anyway, the self-preservation thing is taking on the belief. I'm stupid because when she did, she shut her mouth and when she shut her mouth, she was less likely to get hit.
Right? Absolutely. Now it's showing up all these decades later because old news and something's wanting to be healed, which is why it's showing up. So I help her actually make peace with the stupid part of herself. Not try to get rid of it, to welcome it, to integrate it, to have it. Right. Like, oh, I can be stupid and I can be smart and I can be everything in between.
All right. Two months later, she was a speaker at this event. She had made 20 grand in the first six months of that year. She ended the year with 126 K in revenue. Come on. Right. Like so cool. It's so cool. But you said something I think really profound that people need to lean into more. And at part of our mission here is to obliterate shame and activate purpose.
Amen. And shame, I think is that same like core wound concept of what you're talking about. But you said that you help her be okay with the fact that yeah, she might be a little stupid. Right. And my mom would hate to say that word. That was like a bad word in my mouth, in my, um, so saying it even, but I, I understand the concept, but.
A lot of times what we call ourselves, there is an element of truth, whether it was what somebody else projected on us or not, because now it's true to us, whether it's God's truth or not. Right. Exactly. And so I love the way that you said that we, we become okay with that and the pendulum between point a and point B and everywhere in between.
And I think that that's a huge part of core wound and shame work in and of itself. Uh, years ago, um, I was at the international coach Federation chapter in San Francisco. I was president of the, the organization. We brought speakers in each year. We brought Debbie Ford in, uh, who at the time was a big shadow work teacher.
She's since deceased, but she told this story of her 13 year old son who came home from middle school and said, mom, mom, all the boys at school called me stupid today. And she goes, well, you are stupid. And he's like what I goes. Yeah. Haven't you haven't you ever done anything? That's stupid. Yeah. I, I guess, all right.
Have I ever done anything? That's stupid. He goes, yeah, right? Yeah. Are the boys at school calling you stupid. Stupid? Yeah. All right. Great. So they're stupid. I'm stupid. You're stupid. Are you also smart? Yeah. Are you also creative? Yeah. Are you also great athlete? Yeah. Great. So your start smart and stupid and a great athlete.
Yeah. Like it's taking the power away from this. Yes. You know, it's, it's, it's taking the, the, you know, deactivating the grenade. So like, okay. That can be part of the mix. It's not like, you know, as a child of God, am I, is it true fundamentally that I'm stupid. No, but can I do stupid things sometimes? Sure, sure.
Absolutely. Yeah. So it's that piece where it's like, it doesn't have to be off limits anymore. It doesn't have to be off limits. We can stop fighting it. And that frees up our energy to be in service to our purpose. Same with shame and secrecy. Right? So it's absolutely so good. And
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And so you speak to purpose and I, I would be remiss not to ask you, cause I'm super curious about the co-founding of the purpose Institute in Israel that you did. Yeah. And where in the timeline was that project in association to what you're doing now? Um, so that was probably like 2000. Uh, I was so blessed when I started my coaching career.
Um, maybe two years in, I met this guy, Tim Kelly, who's this just amazing visionary around life purpose work. And, um, he took me under his wings. Like I was the first person ever to get trained in his work. We had a true apprentice model. Um, I, I showed up at all his trainings, like, hi, I'm here. I'm just gonna help can I sit for about teachers?
like, well, it was just his work, just mapped onto my psyche, like an octopus. It just all made sense. And um, because basically his work says, first of all, to find your purpose, we need to acknowledge that your conscious mind doesn't know. Your purpose, if it did it, wouldn't be asking what's my purpose. Yeah.
And so much of the purpose work in the world uses your mind to try to figure it out by using memory and imagination. You know, when was the time you were most alive or if you had a year left to live, what would you do and why? Uh, that's memory and imagination still in your conscious mind. Yeah. Yeah, but he says, well, what if there was a source of wisdom outside of your conscious mind that could know your purpose and tell it to.
In his work, it is, uh, kind of religiously agnostic. So when I work with a Christian, it might be Jesus. Yeah. Right. Uh, when I wor , I remember asking somebody recently who didn't grow up with any faith and I said, what would that be for you? And he said, um, the seat of my consciousness. So, no. All right, great.
Right. So what we work inside their belief system, um, And, uh, use tools to get them connected to this larger source of wisdom and ask specific questions about four different aspects of their purpose, and basically access it to, to bring it into their conscious mind. The thing that blew me away in his work is he also says the conscious mind is actually reluctant to hear that voice.
To hear that wisdom because it's gonna upend your life as you know it. So we take that into account and do some psychological work to help the psyche feel safe about connecting to this source of wisdom and downloading purpose. So I did that work with him and in one of our online trainings, uh, uh, a few people from Israel were there and their, their guidance, their trusted sources.
That's the language we use. Your trusted source, uh, told them. They were meant to bring us to room and, uh, Tim's response was okay, great. Um, you fill a room, you book it, uh, right. Get it all set. And we're there because you never know people. Oh, you're meant to bring us, but are you actually committed to it?
Yeah, it was not long after that. They're like, okay, uh, it's these dates, we have the space set up, uh, set aside. Um, they had. Movers and shakers in Israel. Uh, Engaged in, in coming to the event. Wow. Um, and we flew over wow. And led our first event in Israel. And that led to founding an Institute, uh, for this work in Israel.
Um, eventually we actually worked with another coaching company and trained their whole team and licensed to the work to them. Um, so cool. But, uh, it was really, really neat to bring that work to Israel and, um, One, one of the funny things when I started working with, uh, is Israelis is sometimes the guide that will come to you in this work.
Isn't the one you anticipate. And so like, Jesus would come to some of them, you're like, I'm Jewish. I'm like, yes. So is he, you know, like, okay, like it's.
Actually right. So, uh, anyway, um, no, it was really, really good. And, and since then, uh, we primarily Tim, but we've both done some work with politicians in Israel, uh, and doing work to find the higher purpose of the country. Um, so it's, it's been very, very neat to see what I think there's a lot of work that I think Israel and the conflicts around Israel.
And resolving, those are fundamental to our future. They're also thousands of years old. Yeah. Um, and so I think the only way that that might happen is the intervention of spiritual consciousness. So into, you know, and really know what Tim's whole point when he is worked with different people in the Knesset and whatnot is like, Hey, you guys know what you're fighting against.
What are you really fighting for? What's the higher purpose of Israel as a country in this world today, so that we can move towards something instead of away from what we don't. Powerful. Yeah. That's a message to every individual entity, right? Yeah. I mean, that's so good. Yeah. I, I know that we're closing in on time here and I wanna just ensure that you were able to share what you hope to, and additionally, to get people invested into what it is that you have going.
What's mission. What movement I know you've got multiple, uh, podcast. The, the activate show I'm super interested in your activate Tuesdays, is that actually on a podcast platform or it's just within a Facebook? So that's in the Facebook group and on my website, then I also have the Jeffrey van Dyke show, which is where I interview other trailblazers and innovators about their work and how they got there.
Um, I just on Sunday launched a new album, an EP called you belong. So that's on Spotify and apple music and all the places you get music. Awesome. Um, And, uh, other than that, just everything's on the courageous messenger.com um, on the homepage, there's a download a, a pretty. In depth, uh, PDF, I'll send to people on finding the one square inch.
They can drill a mile deep, that place of having no competition. Yeah. So they can just, uh, grab that there, if they're interested in learning more about that process. Well, all the links are definitely attached to the show. And I think after hearing this incredible conversation, they're gonna want to run to go do it because it's necessary.
And I feel like. For me being able to unlock components of what you're sharing. And I know that I have a lot of becoming to do of in and of myself. Um, it's so refreshing to do at a young age. Hmm. And a part of, of what you had said, um, in your, your bio is like helping people who are kind of in that like second half of life.
and I feel like if we can empower our youth, even in order to unlock some of these things now, um, those wounds won't feel as painful. They'll be able to address them more head on sooner and really let it be like the propel and the empowerment piece to them serving faster. Yeah. And us having that element of change.
I think I, I will say, uh, even just in the last year or two. I've had more and more younger people in my world. Historically, it's been a people, you know, who like are older and have wisdom to share and they get the calling to move into that kind of wisdom part of their world, but real estate developers, 36.
Oh yeah. So you know, like love. So there's a lot more people waking up and going. No my time to, to serve is now, now. Yeah. And, uh, aim into that. And I think our generation specifically, him and I are the same generational bracket is like, we've seen the people who have waited, right? Yeah. We've witnessed it.
We've witnessed the baby boomers who are like on their way out in that realm. And they're like, I didn't ever do that. I never even. I never even was prompted to do that. Yeah. And so there's that like, not an eagerness for time, um, you know, for such a time as this biblically, but it's like, I'm not in a hurry, but I'm in, I have energy.
Right. I have an energy towards being able to put it towards this mission driven message and I see others doing the same. And so I'm excited for the work that you've done, the work you're continuing to do and excited to learn more about it. Um, I wanna be the next culprit. You can throw the octopus my way I wanna learn.
It's a deal. It's a deal. So good. Jeffrey. I appreciate you so much for your time and enduring the tech glitches from earlier. You're such a gift and so wise, and I feel so blessed to spent this time with you. Thank you so much.
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