True Grit and Grace with Amberly Lago
Today's episode brought me into a space of gratitude, not specifically because we're talking about gratitude, although that is a critical part of this conversation. Instead, I realized that often when I don't have an opportunity to get to know someone conversationally, I'm consuming them in tiny little bits that they've chosen to post or chosen to share. And even if they vulnerably share, there's always, always more to the story and more to the human, and Amberly Lago let us see that side of her humanness today, as she journeyed back into her areas of tragedy and to her worries and her fears and her pains.
She brought us into the place that she is today, and that is one of true grit and grace. This is not only is that her podcast name; it's also the name of her book. I truly hope that you get your hands on her book, True Grit and Grace: Turning Tragedy into Triumph. That's truly who Amberley Lago is. I am so honored to introduce you to her today.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉Grow your Business for God's Sake! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 Come join us November 5th - 7th in Lexington, Kentucky, as we join together with Glenn Lundy and all the Breakfast With Champions speakers to create some magic! Get your ticket now! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/grow-your-business-for-gods-sake-tickets-166089996651
Amberly Lago is a peak performance coach, TEDx speaker, podcaster, and a leading expert in the field of resilience and transformation. She is the best-selling author of "True Grit and Grace" and empowers people worldwide by sharing her story of how she turned a tragedy into triumph.
Through her book, coaching methods, and workshops, she has curated unique tools to teach others how to tap into their superpower of resilience and persevere through any of life's challenges. In addition, she offers hope and solutions for anyone (like her) living in chronic pain to live life to the fullest. Amberly has most recently been featured on NBC's The Today Show, The Doctors, Hallmark, and contributed to magazines such as Shape, Fit Pregnancy, Health, Keynote Speaker Magazine, and Disability Magazine.
Where to Find Amberly:
Show Notes: True Grit and Grace
I cannot believe we're getting so close to the end of season three on this show, it's been such a journey and today's episode brought me into a space of gratitude. And not specifically because we're talking about gratitude though, that is a critical part of this conversation. But because I realized that often when I don't have an opportunity to get to know someone in a conversational way, I'm consuming them in tiny little.
That they've chosen to post that they've chosen to share. And even if they vulnerably share, there's always, always more to the story and more to the human and Amberly. Let us see that side of her humanness today, as she journey back into her areas of tragedy and to her worries and her fears and her pains.
And she brought us into the place that she is today. That is one of true grit and grace, not only is that her podcast name, it's also the name of her book. And I truly hope that you get your hands on it. True grit and grace turning tragedy into triumph. That's truly who Amberley Lago is. And I cannot wait to take another stage with her, not just on the podcast stage, but in person at the embrace your ambition conference.
So it's going to be amazing. The hugger neck, and I am so honored to introduce you to her today. The backstory do not forget to have a pen and paper on this one and be sure to tag us at the end of the show, we talk about my new book, always be coming. That is out at this point, which is crazy. And I cannot wait for you guys to get your hands on the symmetry between these two books.
So read both dissect them. Maybe we'll have a book talk or book club or something coming up with the unrelated. All right. Y'all be blessed chat soon.
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.
And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
Yeah, I saw you in the green room dance. Did you see me dance? You see my mouth though? That was beautiful. I wasn't expecting that, that so glad that's always one of my favorite things, because it's, it's a shock to me because I actually purposely don't watch your alls intros before I put them live. So that I'm like right in the midst of the energy.
And then the second one I told, uh, my designer I'm like, it looks like I'm laughing more than I am talking. And she's like, well, they know you're talking, it's a. I want to show how much energy is brought to it and how much fun you guys have. And like, I love it. Oh, well, I'm just so grateful to be here and what an incredible way to start my day with you.
So thank you. I feel so honored. So thanks for this friend. Likewise, it's such a gift and you guys, you might not know Amberley Lago, but you will know of her and the intimacy that she's going to bring to this. It's going to rock your boat a bit, because I think, uh, we talk about vulnerability and their buzzwords, and we talk about pains and tragedy and things like that.
But it's generally, um, a surface level experience where you say this happened, and then this is where I'm at. And it's not enough grit that we talk about. It's not enough of the depth that goes into it. I'm so excited to share your story, learn more about you and you guys. She's a performance coach. I'm one of the best in the nation.
Probably the world. We're going to go world because I'm a speak that into existence. She's a TEDx speaker. She's also a podcaster. So we'll have to learn about that experience as well. And she is a leading expert in resilience and transformation, which I believe we could all raise our hands to needing a little bit more of on a consistent basis.
No matter how transformed we are, there's still transforming to be. Yes. Well, you know, when you're reading my bio, it's like, oh, wow. Yeah, I've done all those things, but I'm only an expert in resilience because I have just fallen and failed and hit rock bottom. And the reason I'm so passionate about sharing my journey is to give hope to others that.
No matter how far down we go, we can always go back up. We can always rise. We can always climb our way back out of sometimes the most what seem in the moment. Horrific also, also sometimes genuinely authentic catastrophes like I experienced, but there are ways to tap into your resilience and that's something that I I've figured out, but.
I still figure it out. It's not like, oh, I'm resilient. Right? It's like, it's really something I work on every day. And I think that kind of like transformation, isn't really a destination. And I love that one going every day process and we have to be really willing to do the work on ourselves. To make sure that we, uh, continue to move forward.
So thanks for letting me be here. And, um, I'm excited to talk about how to build. Grit and resilience and also give yourself some grace along the way. That's one thing that was really hard for me sometimes still is, but I'm learning. Yeah. And I think, again, we all are, but if we're willing to one, raise our hand to the fact that we are learning where you are.
Um, but I think the word resilience is something that I don't hear people talk a lot about and we know we know grit and we know what I am not a huge fan of is the hustle culture, but resilience to be able to wake up every single day, no matter the tragedy, no matter the current state of affairs.
Resilience is something that is consistently built in the face of fear. Right? It's a choice. So talk us through your story. Let's go to the back and then we'll start and share and showcase for others, how they can apply that to their lives. Okay, well, first of all, like what you just said that it's courage because I do believe resilience is courage.
It's, it's, it's choosing to live a life of courage to have joy and to get up again and again. So I love that you said that, but, um, you know, Moved out to California. I've been in California 31 years. And I will tell you right here. And now I haven't told a lot of people this, um, I just told my mom and dad, and they're very excited, but I've lived out in California for 31 years and we're moving back to Texas.
But, uh, you know, I moved out here to be a professional dancer and I think. At a young age and I was 18. I, at a young age, I learned how to build grit and how to be resilient because a live of a professional dancer is not very easily. There's a lot of rejection. There's a lot of failure. I mean, sometimes it's very harsh.
You stand in a line and they tell you that, oh, you're too fat. You're too skinny. You're too tall. You're too short. You're not good enough. You're whatever it is. And so I learned. Through my dance career, um, to let failures kind of roll off my back to let rejections be redirections for me. And, you know, I had a lot of doubters when I moved out here and saying, you'll never make it as a dancer.
Come on. Who do you think you are? And I will tell you that a month later I was dancing. MC Hammer's music video, I've made it, you know, and so I traveled dancing and then that led me into the fitness industry. And I had a booming career with, you know, I was doing infomercials for body by Jake. I was in shape magazine.
Sponsored by Nike. I really thought, gosh, I get to do what I love. Wife is grand. I had trainers that worked for me. I mean, it took a lot to build that business, but I eventually bought my first house with my career and, and met the husband of my dreams after two failed marriages. And I really thought, wow.
All that work is paid off and you know, your hard work puts you where your blessings can find you. And man, things can change in a blink of an eye. And I had just left the gym. I had ran 11 miles and my best time that day, my running partner, I actually beat him.
I jumped on my motorcycle. And I remember putting my helmet on. And one of my friends that I worked with another trainer looked at me and said be safe. And I was like, I will remember it was a Friday. And I drove down the street and I could feel there's like such freedom and riding a motorcycle and hearing that Harley engine rev up.
And I could feel the wind blowing through my hair and I was getting ready for a long holiday weekend. And I look over and I see, uh, an SUV coming out of a parking lot. I'm like, okay. He sees me. I was like, he doesn't see me. He shot out of the parking lot. And I was the only thought I could think of was, I can't believe this is going to happen.
I tried to jump off my bike. I let go of the clutch. There was nothing I could do. I was T-boned. So that means like I'm driving in, I've just get hit right in the middle of my leg, took the impact. I was thrown about 30 feet and I was sliding across the asthma. And it was like, it was in slow motion. I, I, I felt like everything was slow down and I, all I could think was, please don't let another car hit me.
I was in a really busy street. I was on all of you who are listening. If you know the LA area, I was on Ventura Boulevard and I finally came to a stop and I looked down at my leg and it was just broken into pieces. I mean, And it's crazy to look down at your leg and see something like that. And there was blood everywhere.
It was kinda like one of those horror movies where it just squirts out with every beat of your heart. There was a pulse and I only looked down at it once and I started screaming. I didn't want to let go of my leg. The phone in my backpack. And I had this fear of letting go of my leg because I thought my leg was going to fall off.
So it's crazy what you think in moments like that. And I remember. Cussing. And I remember thinking my Methodist mama would not be proud of me right now, as I was cussing loud and saying, call 9 1, 1, somebody help. And then I thought, oh my goodness. My husband's going to be so mad at me. I have a pulled pork sandwich in the backpack and this backpack is going to have pulled pork all over it.
Like that's what I was thinking. Yeah. Like real thoughts, like common, every moment thoughts, which is so wild in conjunction with my leg is going to fall off. Yeah. And I thought my next thought was, my default has always been. What can I do? And so I thought, well, I may have to train clients on crutches for a while.
Little did I know my life was going to forever change. I was rushed to the hospital, our member on that ambulance ride, it seemed like the longest ride of my life, gripping the paramedics legs, squeezing his legs so hard. And I remember thinking he won't look at me. He will not make eye contact with me.
Does this mean I'm dying? Maybe he knows I'm going to die and he doesn't want to look at me and tell me it's that bad that I'm going to die. And then I thought, well, I wish I would die because this pain is so bad. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. I got to the ER in the, the, it was chaos. It was full of cops.
My husband is retired now, but he was Lieutenant commander with the highway patrol and news travels fast in the brotherhood and sisterhood of the police force. And so it was filled with our, our friends chaotic, and I heard this crying loud and I thought, what is that? It was my husband. I had never seen him cry and he was hysterical and he was running back and forth and back and forth.
And, um, At that moment, I thought, oh my gosh, this is really bad. Maybe I'm not going to live. And I screamed across the room, honey, I need you to get over here and be strong for me. And he held my hand. I needed to know that he was going to be okay to take care of our kids. At that moment, this beautiful nurse, her name was Sheniqua.
I made sure to go to the hospital and thank her when I was recovered enough to go see her. And she leaned over me. She said, you know what? We're going to give you something to make you feel all better now. And that's the last thing I remember before. They had to put me in an induced coma because I was dying.
I had lost so much blood. I didn't know it was my femoral artery that was severed. And you can bleed out pretty quickly. Luckily, I had a guardian angel, a guy I wish I knew who he was. He had come over and made a tourniquet on my leg. He saved my life and, um, I woke up from a con. And the first thing I learned was they said, well, we need to amputate, you've got a 1% chance of saving your leg.
There's it's like a whirlwind. There's no other choice. We got to do this. And I said, well, wait a minute. I said, there's you said a 1% chance. Well, then there's still a chance. We just got to find a doctor. Who's willing to take that chance with me. And let me tell you that took an act of God to get me. To the right doctor transferred to a hospital and surgery after surgery, after surgery months in the hospital, 34 surgeries later, they were able to piece by piece, put my leg back together.
And so it was, you know, a miracle. They did that. Um, I thought. Hard part was over. But what I learned about four months after my leg was saved was something that would really be how I discovered to be resilient and overcome some dark times because I was diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome, which leads you in constant chronic pain.
So that is when the real journey began. And yes, those surgeries were horrible. The times I would be gripping the side of the hospital bed when I woke up from Acoma and you know, you've got these tubes in your throat, you can't talk. And you know, there I was, my arms were flailing and one of the nurses said, oh, she's trying to talk, give don't don't rip those tubes out D don't do that.
Um, it was like what what's happening to me. I'm trying to do that. They bring me a note pad and a pen. And you would think, you know, my husband's leaning over me with tears in his eyes and you would think, I would say something like, I love you. Or how long have I been out? And the first thing I said was get off my tubes.
He was leaning on the tubes and I. Oh my oh, wow. Uh, Amberly. Holy moly. So I love first off, how intricately you share what happened in your site? Uh, because I think a lot of times we put that part to the wayside and we just go towards the one thing that we expect people to say, well, I was in shock is what you often hear.
I was in shock and I don't really remember anything, but it's almost like you are. Yeah. Like just so present and then present enough, even past the pain to say there's a 100. And I'm going to be that 1%, because I think a lot of times if I hear of anyone, if they were like, okay, here's the idea and it's lighthearted and there's only a 1% chance.
I'm like, oh, I'll stay away from that. I don't want to have that experience. Right. We want to go down the path of least resistance. And yet we know that resilience is actually built in the resistance. Well, I think that, you know, it's so much a part of being resilient is when you're resilient. Pay real close attention to what you're putting your focus and your energy on.
And for me, That 1% was my glimmer of hope. And that was what I held onto day in and day out through surgery, after surgery. And there, you know, I didn't know that the risk of infection was so high. Each time I went under surgery, the risk of not waking up again was so high because my injuries were. So horrific, but I held on to that 1% and I think that glimmer of hope is all we need is just a little bit to carry us through.
And. And I tell you by the grace of God, it was God because I prayed a lot. And I feel like I had my guardian angels work in over time. And I realized so much in those moments that the power of community I had, thankfully, so many incredible all my clients. They came in to the hospital to see me, my friends came in to see me, people that were actually at the accident that I never knew that I met them for the first time when I was laying in the street, they came to see me in the hospital.
The only person that I didn't hear from was the guy who actually hit me. And a lot of times a question I get a lot is. Oh, my gosh, weren't you so mad at him? Aren't you so angry? And I said, you know what? I didn't have time to be angry. If I spent my time being mad or, you know, angry at this guy, I wouldn't have healed the way that I healed.
I put all my focus on love and prayer and the people that there that were there for me and what I could control and not what I couldn't control. And it's really. You know, I've always been a grateful person. I grew up with my mama. Oh, she's the best mom. She's a Southern Belle. She is just the sweetest woman.
Um, in, in the world. You'll meet her in Dallas. When I get to see you and growing up, she really instilled manners. Uh, thank you. Notes, gratitude. And when you're a little kid and you're writing, thank you notes for gifts from a birthday party or something, you don't realize what, what that does for you in the moment.
And I realize that. When I was in the hospital, one of the things that really helped me through one of the darkest times of my life was gratitude. And I was so out of it in and out of surgery, I would have a surgery. Then I have a day of recovery, then I'd have a surgery. And so I started journaling as a way to document kind of what was going on.
And what I was going through. And so I could remember things, but I started writing down in my journal, everybody that came to see me, uh, you know, to remember, to write a thank you note for them. And every nurse that came in to take care of me, I wanted to remember their names so I could call them by name and thank them for what they did for me.
And, and, um, that really shifted things because there was one night. I remember laying there thinking, well, Is tomorrow going to be today that they decide they're going to have to go ahead and ambient amputated. Then I look and go, oh my gosh, look at my leg. It's held together with the steel rods and scarred from the hip down.
And this, this might sound silly, but I was watching some infomercial. I didn't sleep and not because of the pain was so severe. And I was watching. Infomercial about, and there was these beautiful girls on TV. They're dancing around on the beach with their bikinis and the infomercial was how to get a Brazilian, but.
I'll never have a Brazilian, but long have be able to wear a bikini. I'm going to be ugly and scarred, and who's going to love me. My husband will probably leave me. I can't chase after my kids. What if I can't walk again, all these what ifs and I started spiraling down in the, into this despair and what pulled me up out of that was gratitude.
And I know that. So simple and so easy, but it did shift my perspective. It did get me focused on what I can do. I mean, it, it, it it's alchemy. It changes. How you look at your circumstances and it changes, you know, what you can't do into what you can do and what you don't have into what you do have. And it is really been the gift that I practice every single morning.
And before, you know, we started live, we were talking about how we start our days and to this day, I still start my day with gratitude and I have. A group of women, I call my God squad and we have an app that we use and I'm not trying to promote an app. It's just love it. That makes it easier. Um, it's, uh, my spiritual toolkit, um, I'm sober now.
I started drinking after my accident and that turned out not so good, but I'm sober now. I got sober March 13th, 2016. And it's something I do every day is to, to share my list of gratitude. With these other women. And every morning I do that because it's one thing to say what you're grateful for. It's another thing to write it down, but when you share your gratitude, you can feel it and it's contagious.
And when I read what other people are grateful for, it sometimes helps me shift my perspective even more. Yeah. Yeah, because you realize the circumstances that people are in and how they're still able to come to the table with that gratitude. You're like, wow, well, my circumstance, right? And it's not about comparison, gratitude, isn't the intent.
But I believe what that does is it's almost like it shows different character traits of our father in heaven. Right. As somebody can grasp hold of a strength that they need gratitude showcases so many more layers, his character than just our being thankful. It shows that he's a comforter. It shows that he is a warrior.
It shows that he is a father. It shows that he is a friend that shows like all these different pieces based on somebody's good point of gratitude. So it's, it's less about the comparison and more about the awareness that you, they can apply to us. That is so beautifully said. That is exactly right. And I mean, yeah, I was, uh, you know, struggling with, you know, pain the other day.
I had written my gratitude in my gratitude that, you know, I was grateful that day that my pain was, you know, about a seven instead of a 10. And then I read my girlfriend's gratitude and she had just finished her last day of her chemo treatment for cancer. And I was like, wow. You know, and she's surviving.
God is good. You know, that's what gives me hope is when we can share these little milestones, share what we're grateful for. And just remember that yeah. Some days are going to be difficult, but we have the ability to, to, to have better days and better days are ahead. Yeah, I love that security so much. And I did want to take note because if you guys have ever followed Amberley Lago, which you should go do right now on Instagram, she does have a Brazilian, but so you did get your infomercial.
No, I love it so much because I am such a proponent of, of not showcasing our bodies, but showcasing what God has done with our bodies and how he uses it as a tool in a. For us to be able to show up for our families, for our spouse or our friends, for our mission and glorify his name in the process. And so I want to hear a bit about the transformation, not just, um, of the accident from a body perspective.
Cause I'm sure that was a massive point. Um, but also even from the dancing perspective, because I think body image is such an area of concern, not only for women our age, who are still fighting that battle, but also for generations to follow. Well, that that's such a good question because it actually took me a long time to love myself again.
I mean, hates a four-letter word in our family and I hated myself. I hated my leg. I mean, I was doing, you know, modeling for fitness. My whole life was being fit and being a dancer. And I was hired for jobs based on the way that I looked. And I know that sounds shallow, but I think that a lot of my identity came from what I looked like and how hard I could work using my body for.
Training people to run marathons. I mean, for Nike to train people how to pace themselves from marathon, I held myths for boxers. I trained fitness competitors. I got people ready to try to pass the CHP physical exam. So my body was how I made my living. And so I was really wrapped up in the way I looked and, and to wake up.
Out of a coma and look at myself and then to get home from the hospital is when it really settled in that. Wow. Not only did a doctor tell me that I would be wheelchair bound for the rest of my life here. I am so scarred. And I looked down at my leg like, oh, I'm so deformed, I'm broken. I'm ugly. Who's ever going to want to work with being again.
And. It took a long time to start showing myself some compassion, some self-love. And so anybody's struggling out there that, uh, struggles with the way that you look like I get it. And I'm not saying it was easy. It was a process. But I think that sometimes it helps when we have somebody else that can believe in us or love us.
So we can start loving ourselves and believe in ourselves. And for me, the person who did that was, well, my husband loved me throughout the whole process, and I'm always just so shocked. Sometimes when I look at the amount of love. That he has. I get emotional because you know, my editor, when he edited my book, he was like, oh, this is a love story.
And I'm like, this, isn't a love story. Grit does know. It's a love story, your husband and you, how you grew together and how much you loved you through the journey. And then it was one day I had this brilliant idea. Let me tell you, I was like, I. I know what I'm going to do. I am so appreciative that all these doctors tried to save my leg, but this pain is unbearable from complex regional pain syndrome.
I had tried every treatment. I mean, spinal stimulator, ketamine infusions, Eastern Western medicine. I, at one point I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 different prescription medications and nothing was working. So. Not only did this leg look ugly. It gave me so much pain. So I went to the doctor and I said, you know what, thank you for saving it, but we just need to cut it off.
I was totally going to ask that. Did you ever wish that was there? Holy cow, whole lot easier. Um, I said, we need to go ahead and amputate it. He said, you know what? That's not a solution anymore. He said you have CRPS and it could make it worse. It could make it spread. Once you have that in your sympathetic nervous system, you can't amputate a limb because it's still in your sympathetic nervous system.
They did something that changed my life. Usually when you're you go to an appointment, they get you on the chair and they lift up the lever at the end of the chair and they lay your leg up on the table. And Dr. Wiz sat in front of me and put my leg in his lap. And I thought my first thought was, oh, I can't believe he's putting my leg in his nice lap on his nice white car.
Then he looked at my leg, like it was his masterpiece. This was the leg that he saved and look at this beautiful leg. And I started crying and I thought. Wow. If he can look at my leg like that, maybe I can learn to look at it that way too. Maybe I can learn to look at it as look at all. My body has done to heal.
Look at how my body, how this leg holds me up, how I was told I'd be wheelchair bound and I can walk. I can even chase after my daughter. I've even been. I, yes, little by little, I started showing myself some compassion and slowly but surely I was able to love myself, or I like to say, just have some self awareness and acceptance, and that changed everything.
And it took about four years to be honest with you. And so it wasn't an overnight process. Okay. I'm so grateful that I can now say that I'm actually proud of my leg, of what I've been through to overcome everything I've been through. And so, you know, anybody listening who has overcome, I even look at my scarred.
Gosh, that was a hard surgery, beautiful tool of a child that I have. I am proud of that scar. You know, whether you're on a fitness journey or you're you're healing from sometimes we don't have scars on the outside, but boy, we have some on the inside better that are offering. Harder to overcome than some surgery or some outside wound or anything that we've overcome, but I'm telling you gratitude surrounding yourself with people who love you and support you and believe in you that slowly allow you to start believing in yourself.
That's where we start to move forward. And I can say that, you know, That, that joy and, and feelings of sadness or loss they can coexist. It's not that I'm not sad sometimes that I can't run the way that I used to, but when I shift to gratitude, it immediately changes the way I feel. And it immediately changes the way I look at myself, the way that I look at my circumstances.
And so, um, I think that there are. To start to show up and. Be proud of the way that you look, even if it, I have to say, you know, I, I used to think, and for a long time I fought this, that resilience was about bouncing back and I was trying so hard to get back to life that I had. And I think a lot of those.
Now are kind of stuck in this situation where, you know, things aren't necessarily the way they were because of COVID or maybe we lost our job, or maybe you, you know, you, you can't go out and do things that you used to do because of lockdowns or, or the pandemic or whatever you might be going through.
And we're trying to get back to the old, but I don't think it's getting back to the old, I think that sometimes when we have an open mind, Resilience is about moving forward and doing things better, being the best version of ourself. Despite our, despite our circumstances, it's about maybe for me, it was reinventing myself and now I get to do even more of the things I love.
And I here, I thought I was. You know, broken trainer, who's going to want to train with me instead. I get to reach people instead of just a one-on-one or group sessions. I get to go talk with you and talk with your, your listeners and, and get to go to Dallas with Ashley and Trent. And. And Marcus, I love him and get to share a message of hope and inspiration.
And so sometimes it's not about trying to fix what's broken. It's doing what we can with what's. Quick commercial break. I know I hate these things too, but it's so critical that you grow your business for God's sake. And I mean, that pun intended with all the love in my heart to get you from a place of ideation to activation, stop dreaming, start doing stand up, start saying yes to the call that God has on your life.
We are going to be joining in Lexington, Kentucky with none other than the beautiful rise and grind community with Glen Lundy, who will be COVID. This incredible conference. This is the second annual and he has taken me under his wing to be able to share the stage to motivate and inspire. And I cannot wait to see you there November 5th through the seventh.
If you want to come in for the VIP experience with who doesn't want to come along for VIP, that's all access passes to the speakers and the artists, and you'll be able to dine with us in the private rooms with your own special bathrooms. So of course, come one day, two day, three day passes available as well.
We cannot wait to hack your neck, see you there. As you're talking about like the resilient factor of moving forward. It had me visually imagining, like being shackled to your past and how resilient you're trying so hard to like break through this wall to break the chains of that. But oftentimes people know what was there.
And so they can trust what was behind them. Even if what was behind you was hard, which it was, you were having people tell you you're. That or too tall or too skinny, or you were working all hours of the day or you had to be on a consistent diet or whatever was behind you. There was not just glitz and glam of being in the fitness world.
Right. There was hard things. You still had to do hard things, but because we know what they are, there's a sense of security and the word that was coming to mind, which is probably not so kind, but a truth in my opinion, is the going back is actually a COVID. Because you see a roadblock in front of you and you say, this is too hard and I'm not strong enough.
There's no way. I'd rather just you amputate it. Cause this pain is unbearable. Right. And that is such a, a truth statement to be able to say no, in order to break these chains, I have to go through the harder. Not the hardest, but the harder thing. Cause there might be more, it might've been already past the hard to get you to that roadblock, but it's the recognition that resilience is birthed out of not saying yes to what is comfortable.
Yeah. I'm, I'm glad, I'm so glad you brought that up because you know. People ask me one of the questions I get asked a lot actually is, do you wish they would have just amputated it and you know, I, I can't go back and think that way because that's living in the past. I always think, I mean, you know, even when, even when I wrote my book, Uh, I talk about sexual abuse in my book, which was really hard for my mom to read because she didn't know anything about it.
And she said, well, can you just add in your book? If I would've known I would have done this. And I said, no, mom, this isn't the book about coulda, woulda, shoulda. It's a book about, this is what happened. And this is what I did. About it. This is the resilience I claimed. This is the dignity that I found and I'm able to walk with my chin up and not live with shame anymore.
And I think that, you know, if I would have had my leg amputated, it would have been a lot easier. Yeah, sure. It would have been hard. I'm not saying amputation is easy, but maybe I wouldn't have been diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome. I have a friend that was in a motorcycle accident. She had her leg amputated and a month later she was walking.
Um, nine months later, she was working out with me in the gym with no pain. And there I was with both my legs and excruciating pain. And I don't want to get caught up in comparison and we all have pain and it's. Pain is pain and demands to be heard. And I think for me, um, the lessons that I have learned along the way pain has been my greatest teacher.
And if I had not saved my leg, I wouldn't have hit rock bottom, the way that I hit rock bottom and I wouldn't be able to be doing the things that I'm doing now, I would probably be. Back to training clients. One-on-one I had a very successful business doing that. I loved it, but it was very safe. You know, I had my training, I had the trainers that worked with me.
I had a full clientele, it was a great business, but it was safe. By going through this experience by getting sober, by going through some really dark times and having suicidal thoughts at one time thinking, you know, my husband could find a better wife. My kids could find he could find another mom for them.
They deserve better climbing through those moments. As a result of that pain, I really had to dig deep. It also was gave me. The connection that I have, I've always had a connection with God, but a deeper, stronger connection with God. And by the grace of God, it was at a moment when I was at my darkest time that I felt like it was me praying.
And asking for help. I don't know. That was so hard for me to ask for help. I had always done everything on my own, you know, thought from, from a young age, if I wanted something, I had to work hard for it. If I ask for help, it meant that I was weak. Boy did I have to unlearn a lot of stuff asking for help just means that you need to learn how to be stronger.
It also builds the connections that you have with your friends and it builds your resilience and your community. And so I think, yeah, if I would have amputated my leg, after all those surgeries, it would have been a cop out. It would have been me trying to go back. To the way life was instead, I've had to figure out how to move through pain every day, because I'm still in pain every day, how to really tap into resilience.
Um, and I had my husband say one days, You really need to pace yourself. And I was like, I am pacing myself. And if I wasn't pacing myself, I wouldn't be able to get through this stuff. And I don't know if it stubborn or I really wanted to prove him wrong, or I really wanted to kind of figure out what I did, but I grabbed a dinner nap in that night and I started writing everything I did in order to be resilient.
And this is something that I came up with that you can anywhere. Can use, if you're feeling anxious, if you have pain, if you're feeling like I don't know how I'm going to get through this, if you're feeling stuck at something I do every day, it's a word I remember to quickly. Get me into the present moment and it's pacer and it stands for perspectives, acceptance, community and Durance and risk perspective.
The quickest way you can shift your perspective is with gratitude. We've talked about that acceptance. We've talked about that acceptance and how. You know, me accepting the way that I looked, the way that I was really allowed me to start making changes, to be the best person that I can be at, allow acceptances, being able to choose your next steps to be the best version of yourself.
And that leads you to a community of people. When I was an acceptance and started sharing how I had CRPS started sharing that, you know, what. I'm struggling on that. A community of people who had gone through the exact same things, they struggle. They've gone through pain. I, you know, when you share, I used to be so embarrassed that I've been divorced when I share that I meet people that have gone through divorce too.
And with community it's powerful. I think the community that we're going to have in Dallas, I can't wait because it's going to be. Like my passionate faith-filled people that are ready to keep moving forward because it takes endurance. And that's the next part of pacer. That's where your passion and your perseverance come into play.
That's where you get gritty. That's where you decide you focus on your, why to get you to. Through your house. And I'll tell you, when you, when you know your, why that is your, you're not always going to be motivated, but if we can circle back to why we started, that will push us forward and get us through the how.
And then the one thing, that's the hardest thing for me. It's the last part of pacer it's rest. And in order to be resilient, sometimes we have to strategically stop. We have to plan times and our day. We get our month to recover and refuel. And, you know, I used to think that resting. For the week, like it meant quitting and I'm like, no resting is how you show up where you fueled and show up better.
So that's something I struggle with. I've gotten a lot better at, but it's also, you know, sometimes we have to set healthy boundaries and say, no, When at first saying, no, it was real hard for me, but now I look at as well, I'm saying yes to myself to recover to rest. And so I hope that that pacer, if you can just think of that, I've had, I remember right before my Ted talk, I was so.
Anxious. I was nervous. My daughter was sick with the flu and I was bent over, holding up a, uh, holding a bucket for her to throw up. And I threw my back out and I'm laying in the floor gone. My daughter's sick with the flu. She hurt. She lost her voice. I go on stage in three days. I'll probably lose my voice and I won't be able to talk.
And I can't my friend called and said, how you doing? I said, I'm freaking out. She, she texted me back. One word pacer. Yeah. Thought about that. That shifted my perspective. And so I hope that helps with anybody who might be struggling with anxiety or fear or pain. Cause that helps me move through. I love that so much.
And that actually was one of the first, um, many keynotes that I heard you sharing on clubhouse before. And then obviously the watching the TEDx talk, and it's just, it's such a critical piece for people to have something simple. And for me, obviously fit in faith that comes from my background in fitness and nutrition as well, and starting my journey in a place of outward.
Fitness. And then realizing that the premise of health and wealth is really the interior workout that we do every single day, mind, body, and spirit. Um, and so I specifically love. For the ease, but also for the parallel, because I think a lot of people, whether they've been a runner, especially a marathon runner or they've, they've done anything from PE when they were in kindergarten and grade school.
Right. They know what goes in to movement and therefore it's easier to relate to. And when I think about pace, it's actually been a huge word in my year, this year, because from the E and paste or the. Endurance makes you think that like, you gotta keep going. Like there's never a stop. Like there just keep on keeping on, keep on, keeping on, which goes back to my, not so much fan of the hustle concept because hustle doesn't ever have that component of rest.
And what I realized was that pace is actually less about the endurance of what the world shows you and more about the patient. Our father and we saw Jesus himself example going out for 40 days and 40 nights going away from the crowds and the community that you've built in the sea to have that time of solitude and rejuvenation that comes from the spirit rather than people, because even people as much as they love us and crim provide so much growth for us, there is a component that is just only something God can do.
And I think as you let go of like coping mechanisms and things that you mentioned as far as alcohol goes, and I'm sure have a jillion of other coping mechanisms when it comes to taking medicine and things like that. It's, um, it's an important thing for people to realize that our strength is from God and no matter the things that we face.
It ultimately still circles back to him. And that's the whole point. That's the part of his plan? That's the, I knew you before you were in your mother's womb component of our stories that I think are so beautiful. Thank you. You know, I tried to do it alone and it didn't work. And I asked God to walk with me through everything I do.
And. I think by the grace of God is the only way I've been able to stay sober. Um, God lifted the obsession of drinking. You know, I was had a lot of shame about that because I was never a partier. I was never a drinker. I always, always joked around that. You know, when I got out of high school, I, one of my first jobs I had.
Underage and working at this tiny little place called California canteen. And I was a bartender and I was like, yeah, I was that my friends were busy drinking and I was busy collecting their tips. I was like, I'm working, I'm on a mission. Cause I love doing that because then it gave me time to go to auditions as a dancer.
And um, so there was a lot of shame. That I had, especially being married to a Lieutenant commander who arrested people on the streets for drinking. And then here he's married to somebody who's doing that. So, but by the grace of God, by prayer with community, um, with, you know, People that have been through a similar experience.
That's how I've been able to get through that. And I share that because you know, there's a lot of people that want to put the blinders on. We all do. We want pain, we don't want to move through it. We don't want to look at it. We put blinders on, but when we truly want to transform our lives, we have to let those things.
We have to see them. We have the, let those feelings rise to the surface and deal with the number one, learn acceptance. It's. It is freedom to make choices to better our lives. And so, um, that's why I share that as hard. Oh, I I'm similar. So like two and a half years ago, my husband and I chose to stop drinking.
And it's a component of yeah. History, right? Like so many, so many things plague us. Um, so many storylines from our family and generational things like that and bondage that we didn't want our children. To also deal with. And so it's, uh, it is a hard thing. Um, one, because there are surely days where I'm like, I could use a margarita, I could use a glass of wine, but then I think could I really, and do I really want that?
I've never regretted not having a hangover. I have never regretted actually in walking through my emotions and actually being like, this is how I feel. And instead of taking a drink to suppress my ability to speak over it, I actually have to speak into it. And so positive self love, positive affirmation, the ability to actually go and take the walk, take the breather, take the bubble bath, do the thing that you need to do in order to release that emotion in a healthy way, rather than to suppress it because.
Compounding suppression, compounding suppressed emotion leads to even further tragedy and that's self-inflicted tragedy rather than something that happened with you. Yeah, I, I think so. And, um, um, wow. That's thank you for sharing that your, your husband and you decided to do that. I also was told a long time ago, they never get too hungry, too lonely or too tired.
And so whether you're. Trying to stick to healthy eating, trying to go after your goals, trying to stop drinking or whatever bad habit that you might be trying to break. If you make sure you never get too hungry, lonely, or tired, you're going to be able to stick to those habits a lot better. And I would say don't rely on self.
Don't rely on that. You know, what will be thrown out the window? The moment you get too tired, it's really setting up those habits and having smart feet is what I like to say. Smart feet that takes you. So when you wake up. You're in a habit of doing your affirmations, doing your gratitude, writing, connecting with your God's squad or whatever, your whatever everybody's morning routine, whatever works for them.
Um, but you're in a habit if you're, uh, In a habit like I'm in my workout clothes. I have a, a workout scheduled right after this. It's in my calendar. It is something I do. So I wake up. There's no thought of what am I going to do today? What am I going to wear? It's like, I'm putting on my gym clothes. I'm going to work out.
Um, when I'm away, I just got back from an event last week. Even though the days were long, there was one day I had a 16 hour day where it was just backed back thinking, interviewing, signing, soiree. It was really busy. I still got. And went to the hotel gym. It was crazy. There was nobody in the gym, but I know that if I work out, I'm going to feel better mentally.
I'm going to feel better physically. It releases endorphins that combat pain and make you feel good and build your confidence. And so it's really about having those healthy habits. So if you're busy, if you're away, if you know something kind of derails you for a little bit and you can get right back on track.
So that's good insight and such good wisdom. I'm so excited. Cause I actually have my book coming out on Friday. Yeah. I'm so excited. And as you're talking, literally like so many pieces are a part of a congruency in our, in our stories, I've always felt like a kindred spirit to you, but that I was like, oh man, this is so good.
And like a par every chapter of the book actually breaks down the sequence of how you work. So the first chapter is like setting your intention, right? And then you go into goals and then you go into all of the things. Fueling is a part of it. Detox is a part of it does get part of it. So it's just, it's so much feral out there.
I'm so excited. Yeah. On your profile on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send it over to you. Plus I think the actual copy that, cause it's ebook first will come out and. When we were together in Dallas, the actual book will come out as well. So it's so fun. Oh my gosh. Congratulations. I can't wait to read your book.
I mean that, I know like it's, you know, so, and I know that, you know what, 81% of people have a book in them. We all have a hundred percent. We all have a story that's very impactful and that could be someone else's survival guide, but to actually write the book, 1% of people do that. Wow. I didn't know.
That's amazing. Wow. Congratulations. I can't wait to read it or it's going to be so good for us to be together. So you guys have to come in person to. And just a couple of weeks is October 14th through the 17th. The link has been dropped for you already. And, uh, you'll get to hear us from stage, but I'm also one of the people Ashley and I talked about this last time when we were in Denver for the first embrace your ambition conference, I ran into somebody in the bathroom and she was like, oh, I didn't think you were, I didn't know what I was going to see you in here.
Well, this is where I have. Yeah, we're the same. We go to the bathroom and say Mather until Ashley and I have this running joke that we'll always be in this public bathroom. And so if you see as we're real human beings, we want to hang out. We want to hug your neck. We want to know you. We want to love on you too.
Um, so I'm excited about that. Embrace your ambition, October 14th, through the 17th. And in the meantime, you've got to get your hands on Amber Lee's book. True grit and grace turning tragedy into triumph. And that way there it is. I love the hat. I want that hat BTW. Is that going to be on your swag table in Dallas?
I got to see if I can get more. I just gave out my last hat. You should. It's so cute. I'm writing that down. See, we have business in the midst of motivation all the time. It's so good to be with you. And really, I truly treasure you. I'm so grateful for all the good work that God has done inside of you. And we'll continue to do.
Oh, I feel blessed to know you. I can't wait to hug your neck. It might be uncomfortable cause I'm squeeze you a little bit comfort. I'm ready. I show up our guns. I can't wait to see you. It'll be great to see trends again. I'm actually treating. Was my, I used to travel to do interviews for my podcast. He was the last interview that I traveled for before, before COVID.
Oh, wow. And so I was like, who knew that I'd get back from Dallas and like, okay, that's your last trip, but I'm so glad to be traveling again and getting out there. So it'd be good to see Ashley and hug her and all of you. I hope y'all come because. My favorite part about my whole book journey and my whole journey is getting to meet people in person and connect and hear your stories.
And so I can't wait to see everyone. I agree. Thanks again for being here. You guys, we love you. Go check out all the things, all the links and really your gym. I'll chat with you soon. Okay. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me on bye.
Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sent an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.
You tuned it to share your sparked moment and tag me at underscore podcast or me personally at tomorrow. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and vape podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?
I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I'd love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out. You know, I'm a writer. So I love words. And I can't wait to read what you have to say.
I'm ready to fuel the plane with you together. And until next time, blessings over your joy health, well, and wholeness tune in next time.