The Love Offering with Rachael Adams
There is a revolution happening…a LOVE revolution! And today’s guest unpacks how.
Stemming from long before Covid, a concept emerged, but the conversation starts around the blessings of love that are existing in this season, that has basically taken over all of 2020. So many are trying to move into 2021 already, but even now has purpose and we have a beautiful opportunity to still show up and love.
She shares about her history in truly understanding what love is and how she came to learn the fullness of his love, which didn’t fully happen until after she had children. And as you may know, this is a big part of my story too so I totally understand and relate to her. Thank heavens for church communities like MOPS for helping us through the isolation of motherhood.
After reading the happiness project she awoke to the concept of a service project and asking God how she can continually serve. Later sitting in a church pew God Revealed the monetary giving concept of a love offering, but way beyond the concept of money. Which speaks to my soul in this season as I have been resonating on RICHness and Wealth and the lens of the lord on abundance.
Metaphorically – we as human beings ARE the love offerings, because we are the hands and feet of Jesus. And though his example of love…and giving us the ability to exist and extend our heart to others as God has to us. This is our call as believers and disciples.
Tune into her beautiful podcast, The love offering and go follow Rachael Adams. She’s already got the book dreamt up so let’s pray that into existence too, because we all need a little more insight on how to LOVE like Jesus.
Enjoy the episode and her sweet soul.
Rachael Adams Bio:
Rachael Adams is a writer, speaker, and host of The Love Offering Podcast. Her heart’s desire is to encourage women to live out their faith by loving God, others, and even themselves. Rachael and her husband live in Kentucky with their two children. Connect with her online at www.rachaelkadams.com or on Facebook and Instagram @rachaeladamsauthor.
Show Notes: The Love Offering with Rachael Adams
Hey, hey, hey. I’m so excited to be here for another live showing of the Fit and Faith podcast and my guest today, I cannot wait to unpack all the things she’s incredible. She’s a writer, a speaker. She’s also a podcast or so. You’re in touch with a really good conversation today with the love offering podcast. And Love Offering is the name of your business to Rachel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you guys just you’re going to be excited. You’re going to be blessed. I have no doubt. Rachel, I would love for you to kind of do your own mini intro and then we can kind of dive into all things back story right now. Story, future vision casting. But just unpack it. Yeah.
Well, thank you so much for having me today as your guest. And we actually just recorded your spot on my show just a minute ago. And so you guys, I know obviously your listeners love you, but I would love you probably. Usually. Are you doing the interviewing? And so it’s like now they can really hear your story, more of you. So I was just honored to have you on my show. But as you kind of started off with our interview, you said, you know, it’s hard to kind of say, like, this is who I am.
This is all the things that I do. And when really what we want to do is point other people to the award and not to ourselves. And so that is my heart. First and foremost is just to live out my faith and try to live it out well. But I am a wife and a mother of two children and a podcast which has been one of the best guess that God has given me, honestly, and just as a writer and a speaker.
And so those are kind of the things that I spend my time doing. Mainly being being a mom is my number one priority.
And I love that so much. And tell us, because all the moms right now are in this crazy zone of figuring out life in a whole new way. Are you at home with them? Are they at school? What’s going on here?
So so we started our quarantine like at the end of February, early March. And, you know, it’s been wonderful to have them home. So Will is a sixth grader middle school, and then K is fourth grade. And so and they are pretty self-sufficient. There are a lot of fun. We have a lot of things in common. And so and we even had a new during this time. So it’s been very, very good. And then school started two weeks ago.
But we are virtual.
And so now I’m adding I guess to you said what I do now, I’m a teacher too. And so it’s it’s been it’s been a gift to have them at home. And I think that there is a lot of good that is coming from it as far as we’re learning. Lots of grace for one another, lots of patience for one another. There’s lots of flexibility. And it we can sleep in a little bit later and we can go to bed a little bit later and kind of do things at our own pace.
But at the same time, I can just really miss their friends. They miss the social aspect. And honestly, there’s nothing like a true teacher that I can love my kids in lots of ways. But I’ve forgotten a lot of sixth grade math, so that’s understandable.
There’s definitely gray suited in that first year. That’s hysterical. I think you you said that there are a lot of things that are a little bit different than what they used to be. And as a mom and I’m sure you’re in a network of other women who are mothers, like from an overall life standpoint, like what do you feel is like going to be the biggest transition or change in society, hopefully, or within the church or or just as family units?
Yeah, I think more than anything, for for us as a family, we’re realizing No. One, how important family is. You know, before my my little boy is super involved in athletics. And so we’re just constant. And my husband was coaching and every sport. And so we roll in from one season to the next. And so most nights after school, the my husband and my son would go off to practice and then we’d eat dinner in shifts and my little girl and I would be together and they’d be together.
And so especially in the very beginning of quarantine, we were taking family walks and family dinners and just really slowing down. And now that things have started to pick back up, it’s interesting how quickly we’ve gone back to just the same old same like let’s go and let’s run and let’s go from the things that we we realize how, you know, there it can sometimes be exhausting. It’s also very life giving. And I think the reason it is is because it’s given us purpose.
It’s given us and how much we love people. I think that that’s where I was going with all of that is how much we missed being with other people. That social aspect and how we are just created for a relationship. That’s how God created us. And so when you it was nice to have that as a family unit, but we really missed investing and a. People and having them invest in us, and so I think that going back to a little bit more normal, it’s not all the way there is that those are the things that we really want to remember and hang on to.
I love that. I think that’s actually not a perspective that I’ve heard many people share because they have had this experience with one another that they really hadn’t had up until that point. So I do think that there’s going to be this, like, milestone in our kids lives, in our own lives, of remembering remember that time when and we have a book that of a fellow podcast’s or her name was Kate, actually, it was called the The Conversation Book.
And it’s a book that sits by our our kitchen table. And it’s really want to be that and for some reason our bathroom, because our kids are still little. So it’s like our gathering place is either the kitchen table that or the bed or the bathroom. And it’s a book that unpacks like your highs and lows of the day, as well as like a specific question around whatever the dinner conversation is around. So you can just take note and write those things down.
And I just loved that. I think as a society, we’re becoming more aware and more in tune with, like, what are our emotions? How are we feeling about this process? You know, there’s there there are those that are outraged. There are those that are at peace about it. There are those that are loving it because they don’t have to go to their job. And I love that part specifically because I feel like so many have been propelled and activated into a new space of dreaming where they can say, like, I want something new for my life.
I want to be more free like this, and I want to provide for my family like this more often. How can I do that? Do you feel like there has been a shift in in your women group or friend group or just entrepreneurs, as you’ve noticed?
You know, I think. Gosh, I don’t know, I think that we all thought that we I don’t know, I actually think that I was on the right track and I know that sounds funny.
I will say that I enjoyed the no makeup, the no scheduled, not real clothes type thing. And I have noticed a little bit now that things are starting to.
Oh, no, you guys, I think we lost control so much of I could control what I was saying and control who was seeing me and if that makes any sense. And so now it’s like, OK, I’m re-entering society again and I need to wear the right clothes and put my makeup on again and do my hair. And I mean, honestly, this is the first time I really have gotten dressed.
Wonder why am I doing that when that’s not you know, it’s funny.
Years ago we had family pictures and my little girl said, well, I just want to do very realistic pictures like our day to day lives.
And and she said, well, mom, that would be you in yoga pants with a ponytail.
Yes. I don’t know. I think that people are just realizing how how much we do value other people and how much we do and value getting to go out and do and explore and adventure and and dream for that matter. So, yeah, I love that.
I’d love for you to like we’re going to go way back now, kind of infuse and tell us a bit about where you started, how you got on this road, not necessarily to motherhood, but even just the love offering. Like what does that mean to you and how did it get established? Because clearly it is about other people. And so I’d love to just I’d love to hear that storyline look like.
Yeah, you know, it’s actually so I’m going way back. I was saved in middle school, but it was out of fear. I just didn’t want to go to hell. And so it took a very long time for me to learn of God’s love. And so now it’s and now that I’ve gotten to experience that in a relationship with him, his love, then I just want to share his love with other people. And so but once I didn’t really get serious and learn his love until after I had children.
And so even though I felt like I was saved, it was like, you know, how we just continue to learn of his character and our relationship grows was like he was a savior and then he was Lord. And then I started to know him as father. And it’s just continued to grow, I guess, in for me an intimacy, if that makes sense.
And so once I had children, I really wanted to start to get involved. And I started just Will was one and I was hesitant to even go out at all. It was a very much a season of seclusion because I was nursing him. He was not well behaved. And so eventually I thought, I’m going to go to toddler tales and I don’t care. I was like, well, I want to tell their tales. I met somebody who invited me to my house.
Then I met somebody at Mosta, invited me to church. Then I went to church and they invited me to women’s ministry. And then once I got into going into women’s ministry, then I got really plugged in into the service aspect of women’s ministry. And so I went from this season of seclusion and very much alone. And although I loved being a mother, I just felt this sense of not completely fulfilled. I’m not completely. I don’t know, satisfied if that makes any sense, and so as I continue to get invited by other people and then I started serving in the church, this feeling of fulfillment as I kept pouring out, letting God pour in and I kept pouring out, I was like, wait a minute, I’m fulfilling my mission.
And now I’m feeling fulfilled. And so that was kind of this this first inclination of service. There’s something to this servanthood idea. And so one night I woke up and I had just been reading The Happiness Project that’s been years ago. And so I woke up and I thought, there’s something different. I feel like from a spiritual standpoint, there’s more than just seeking our happiness. And so I woke up with this idea, the service project. What does it look like to continually serve?
Who in the Bible continually served? How did they offer their love? What were their offerings? And so that was kind of the first inclination of the journey. And then fast forward, and I was sitting in the pew at our local church and in front of me are these Gleib offering envelopes. And so normally those are for monitary giving. But it occurred to me that, metaphorically speaking, that we as human beings, our love offerings, that we are the hands and feet of Jesus, that we are here because he first loved us to give us his son Jesus.
And then Jesus lived on this earth and showed us how to love. And then now we’re committed to love because he first loved us. And so this idea that we are here for our purpose, there is work to do and we need to go and we need to be love offerings so that we can make this. Invisible God, invisible to people here on Earth. So that wasn’t it. Good, I love all of it and I love like that physical viewing of the love offering and realizing that, like.
Right. All essentially we just need to put our whole body in there because like we love. Right. Like he is within us and he is love and therefore we are love. And that’s why we’re called to show that to others. And I just think that that’s such a cool visible that I’ll probably never get rid of. So curious when you say author, because I haven’t done enough research. Do you have a love offering book? Because there needs to be a whole book around as I see it coming to fruition.
So, OK, that makes me so happy. Thank you for saying that. So, yes, that’s the dream. That’s the dream. I am working with an agent right now to fine tune the proposal to send to publishers.
So I’m like prophetic or something. I know. So yeah.
You know, and honestly, you kind of the love offering podcast.
It’s interesting how that even transpired because and it was funny because I actually am pretty insecure and I’m an introvert.
And it’s funny because we were talking like you and I just want everybody to know this like like I santamaría over this list of questions, you know, like here’s what I’m going to ask you. And then I said, oh, what are you going to ask me, because we’re just going to let the Holy Spirit leave me.
Like I can’t do that. I don’t know how to do that. I need a scripted I’m going to edit this. And she’s like, no, no, we’re not going to do that. And so if that gives anybody that kind of personality type that I am, I like things very controlled, very structured. I want to be like super prepared, you know, and I love all that.
So I had a lady that was helping me with marketing and she said, Rachael, just the way that Facebook is going, you’ve got to get video. You’ve got to start maybe on yourself.
And I said, no, I’m not comfortable with it.
And so she said, well, what if you videoed other people? And so I was like, well, now I could do that because then I can put the spotlight on them. I’m more comfortable with, like, spotlighting other people.
And so I said, but then I got to do my hair and makeup every day I need, you know, how am I going to do that with, like, going to different locations and hiring a videographer and all that to say we up going for the audio version, which is a podcast, no hair and makeup and being able to just talk to people all around the nation, really in the world, conceivably.
I haven’t yet. And so just to be able to talk to people who are loving people well, with the gifts that they have been given and it’s been amazing because I never realized I kind of did it. It was like I had no vision for it. I really didn’t. I was just like, OK, I’ll try that. And then now, two years later, two seasons later, I’ve been able to connect with so many amazing women and see how they’re doing their love offerings.
And they’re all different, but they’re all equally as valuable and equally as important.
I love that so much. So it’s like the big dream, having the book incorporate other people’s stories and love offerings. It does, yeah. I mean, I love, you know, obviously in biblical examples and all through the Bible, people are giving their love. And of course, Jesus was the best example of that. Then I think we also need to realize how do I do this in my own life? I need to know practically day to day, because I think so often, especially me as a mom who is pretty much at home and I’m and I’m teaching my children.
And so how to how am I giving my love now?
And sometimes it feels very small and it feels very insignificant, but it’s not to the Lord and it’s not shaping the lives and the identities of my children. Goodness. Could there be anything more important than that? And I want to be a really good steward of what God has given me, whether the world thinks that small and insignificant or not.
And so that’s why it’s so good and so intentional. And I feel like such a message for today of all days, because right now in Virginia Beach, a lot of listeners are going to be listening and tuning in. And it’s their kiddos first days of school here. And it it does feel that way. It feels like we I’m being ripped from one thing and I’m being thrust into another situation. And it feels insignificant because I’m supposed to be doing this really significant thing.
Right. But really, there is significance in both. Sure. Because I am all for advocating for the thing that we’re called to do. But at the same time, we’re also called to our first ministry, which is our home, and nurturing those babies is unprecedented. Right. And so realizing that the I’ve talked about this just on your podcast, that ripple effect concept that I love so deeply. That you might just be infusing and and growing like the next so-and-so, right, like I’m thinking Jesus, because I’m sure Mary had no idea what was to come but to think about any of those opportunities, that one human being is going to come into contact with thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of other people.
And if they are now affecting change, if they’re being a disciple, if they’re showing back to what you’re saying, the love that was then submitted to them from their mother through the Holy Spirit, I mean, you can’t get paid enough or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So talk to us. So you were saved in middle school, but in this religious pattern, can you unpack that a little bit more for us? Like, not that it has to be a denominational breakdown, per say, but what did that look like and how did that act out and how you followed the rules, if you will?
Yeah, it’s interesting you picked up on that because I as in general, as a person, I’m very much an achiever, kind of that perfectionist and the giver all they are all wrapped in one. So I want to be like a really good giver, you know, a really good offering, my love. And so I think my tendency is to kind of be that legalistic approach. I think it’s very much like give me the box of things to do, Lord, and I’m going to do them and I’m going to work.
Like James is one of my favorite people in the Bible because he’s like without that works, you know, your faith is dead. And so that kind of is my tendency. And honestly, I feel like that is that is our mission. I mean, it’s the great commission.
That’s what we’re all called to do. And so I really can get caught up in that, like saying, OK, at the end of the day, Lord, this is what I accomplished for you. Now, what do you want me to do tomorrow? And although I think that there is a lot of good in that, I think that then I can say, OK, if I had a good or a bad day, then God loves me more.
I’m trying to earn God’s love. And as we know, like, we can’t earn God’s light, we can’t strive for it.
It just is because it just is. He just loves us because he created us and he died for us. And so it’s taken a very long time for me to let go and surrender my need for maybe approval. And I don’t know if it’s been gone for so long. It was I thought it was God’s approval, but now I’m realizing it’s kind of man’s approval and trying to just realize that it’s a very personal walk with the Lord. And then I don’t have to prove myself to him.
And I think that that was modeled from a lot of people in my life. God has brought a lot of other women that have modeled that well, just women’s ministers and women that I worked with personally before being a stay at home mom and just seeing women really walk out their faith authentically. And I think that that’s why it’s so important to share our stories and and that’s why I like sharing other women stories so much just to see that we all don’t have it all together, that we all are.
Lots of grace is involved. But at the end of the day, God loves us regardless of what we accomplished.
That’s sad. And I feel like a legalistic perspective. I never really put that term on the way that I walked out my faith when I was younger as well. But again, I share that like perfectionism, peace and like I love a good checklist like I am all for at the end of the day, like having it all marked up. And I’m like, OK, my work is done. And realizing that there is never like an ending to the checklist with the Lord, but he also doesn’t have checkboxes for us.
So coming into understanding of what does that look like from the achiever perspective, from the perfectionist perspective and ultimately we talked about it is it’s the release of control. It’s the release or the need of having to perform and realizing just by the nature of who we are, just by being born into his kingdom again, that he loves us and that love is enough. And so I think that there’s so many conversations that can happen in the storyline of your life and the storyline of what it is that you’re bringing to the table as your ministry.
Now, I would love to hear like from your children’s perspective, how have they seen since they’ve been home now more often, like what it is that you do, do they understand it? Do they get ministry? Like how are they active in the church? Because my kiddos are a little bit behind you. So we’re seven and five kindergarten and first grade. And I so deeply desire for them to get plugged in, but to also always understand, like what Mommy does when I’m not with them.
Yeah, yeah. I think that’s really important. And I think for me, if I’m being honest, there’s been a lot of guilt. And because when I’m doing things like. This then I’m not being with them, and so, like right now, my little girl is playing Legos and my little boy is playing PlayStation, but I also think that there is something to be said about them seeing me dream and then seeing me work hard towards a goal, then seeing me persevere when things get hard, when I get rejected.
A submission rejected or been working on a proposal for an entire year, trying to fine tune it. And so seeing things come from start to finish and seeing, I think that my focus I hope I pray that they see it’s done. It’s done for the Lord. And so it has been a little bit more difficult, I think, because other than their empathy, that I can understand how to serve. And they were very we used to before coronaviruses go, we had a backpack ministry where it’s called Project Fifty Eight Ten, where we packed bags for kids for the weekends when they’re not being fed during the school year.
And so things like that and even turd’s our church, the children’s activities are not up and running. So where we are and so trying to figure out how do we give our love.
Really to society, when we are stuck at home, you know, and we’re not and my little boy, you know, he he is a football practice. And so how does he live out the great commission there? My little girl is doing gymnastics right now. So we are involved. We are around people in some way going to the grocery store. How do you treat the cashier? You know, there’s there’s always people that we are somehow in contact with.
And so how are we sharing God’s love and giving light there? You know, it’s a constant mission, but it has been a little bit more complicated because we haven’t been able to specifically go to church, if that is so true.
But I also like the even the greater call. Right, of the great commission is just like not being within those four walls and activating even still and realizing that I know for me, like I was telling somebody the other day, I’m like, I’m the worst neighbor. And she was like, what? Like I could never see you as a bad neighbor. And I’m like, well, like my husband, they consider him like the mayor of the community, like he’s just always out and about.
He knows everybody’s names. He knows their dogs names, like he knows what car they drive. And I’m just like, what’s their name again all the time. And it’s because when I’m with people like you, like, I’m never going to forget your name. And I go and we dive so deep that like there is an imprint. And so I need to in that moment, I kind of convicted my own self to be like I should really get to know my neighbors more and realizing that there are small ways and then there are big ways.
But ultimately it’s just a matter of what does that love look like and how can you then cultivate it on a continual basis because your neighbors are a very important part of your life. But additionally, like a neighbor would be, you know, the homeless one on the side of the street and treating them no different than I would treat anybody else and actually coming to find out their story. And we’ve got beautiful ministry opportunities in our community to do things like that.
But are we showing up in those places? And what what matters to your heart? Because, again, knowing that we all have our own unique identity and purpose is also realizing that, one, we can’t do all the things. So maybe that’s not what I’m called to, but there are people who are supposed to do that and they can stand in the gap for you, but you have to recognize who those people are and like come into community with them so that you’re a collective force.
So I love that your kids like our are even just thinking through that. But also seeing you activate in those places I think is so critical. I think another piece of this love conversation in this being at home and this experience is like, what has this been like for your marriage? So you said you didn’t really come into this knowing until you had kids and I was similar. So I would love to hear what your storyline was like in your marriage.
Yeah, you know, I think that is a really good question. And I’m so glad that you asked, because I think so many times we feel like we need to love our neighbor like we just talked about. Who are you around? Well, who are we around more than anybody else? I mean, really, our husbands, you know, and he actually he grew up in a Christian home. You always went to church. I did not.
And his parents are still married. Mine were divorced. And he has his sister. She is married to a pastor. So they have a church. And so all that to say he had a very strong spiritual background. And so once I met him, it it obviously helped me in my spiritual walk as well. But I think as far as like being love offerings to our husbands, we talk about this a lot. My husband and I said, what is it when you feel most loved, Mommy?
And so I think what we have kind of identified is that it’s not simply I’m just saying that we love each other, although we do that quite a bit. It’s that we are continuing. And as you said earlier, you said it’s a continual thing. It’s a daily thing. Like I can do something nice for him or show him love, you know, yesterday. But he needs me to do it again today and then again tomorrow. And so it’s this constant, like, I see a need, I’m paying attention, I’m noticing something and you and I see that.
But not only do I see that need, I’m going to go the extra mile and I’m going to meet that need for you, whatever it may be. And for, you know, for all our husbands, it’s something different. And it could be as simple as like my husband. He’s not a coffee drinker, but he’s like a cold, cold brew drinker. And so he’ll put that in the refrigerator every single morning. So, you know, in the morning in that he followed by that or just calling and saying, hey, I’m thinking about you, how is your day to day or whatever and making sure he’s got clean socks or whatever.
I don’t know the languages, but I think it’s just that this idea of consistency and seeing a need and not only just seeing it, but going back. Jamal, to me that I think more than anything I’m noticing, it’s not just the neighbors outside of our home, but it’s the people inside of our home that need the love offering just as much.
I love that so much. More powerful one to try again, how God uses people and his desires for us individually, like without him, who knows where you would be in your walk and your faith. And then again, for the children that were unborn, they had to be underneath the wing of you and him. And so I just I think it’s so incredible because I feel like I’m in a space where it’s less people who grew up in a Christian home.
It’s less people who have siblings who are pastors. Right. And so it’s realizing the critical point of our job and our children’s role to play that Jesus in their life that they might never see or hear about the Bible. Yet we live in a common day era where everybody has access to one and can freely read it. Imagine going to other countries where that’s not the case. And so, you know, just realizing what our role is and the love offerings that we provide others I think is so amazing.
I had actually done something I think I might have shared on that on this podcast before called the The Husband Project. Have you heard about this? You know, I did this when I was a brand new in my faith, and it was such a hard thing for me to do. It was a 31 day challenge where every single day you had to essentially do a love offering. That’s not what they called it, but for your husband, without telling him and him in your hopes, recognizing it and being like, oh, I feel love today.
Well, you guys, if you are not used to doing these daily affirmations of love and you start them out of nowhere, one, it’s like, why are you doing that? So it’s like completely ignored because it’s just an expectation. If it’s something that you do all the time, it’s such as providing clean socks and realizing that, like, the things that we do, no matter how small or how grandiose, all matter. And just being really intentional with the I get to provide you clean socks versus I have to provide you clean socks, pick up your dang underwear for the thousandth time.
Right. And so it’s just really important that we recognize in those relationships in our marriage that this is like a symbiotic give or take. Right. And so as much as we desire to provide those love offerings, we also need to receive those love offerings. And I love that you started the entire conversation right there about him with the fact that you ask each other questions and you actually sat down and you communicated. And I feel like that’s the missing link almost all the time, is just this expectation of one another.
Like I need you to love me and you need to love me. And this is what a marriage is. Well, if there’s no communication and there’s no like premise of what how do you need to be loved and how should I expect to love you or receive your love in return? It’s really hard to be on the same page because none of us are the same and not give or take experience. Yeah.
You know, as you’re as you’re talking, I’m thinking I don’t know if you’ve ever read love and respect. And so and I’m just thinking about, you know, we are very familiar with the unconditional love part. And I know that’s been the most of our conversation, the sacrificial love. But it’s also for our husbands, it’s this unconditional respect and it’s whether they deserve it or not. And I think at the same time, we want to be loved whether we deserve it or not, which is what, again, what Jesus does for us.
And I think, gosh, what a challenge that is in all of our relationships, husbands, children’s friends, parents, you know, sisters in Christ to just say, look, I know your flaws and your imperfections and I love you anyway, you know, and regardless of all that.
And and I’m going to continue loving you anyway. And I think something that I have noticed with the most when I was actually in every podcast episode, I say, you know, who has loved you? Well, and how have they loved you? Well, and most of the time, the most common answer I get is that people were present and they showed up. And so, you know, when we talk about because I think I saw this in an interview with you is, you know, sometimes I doubt my gifts and I say, well, gosh, what do I have to offer?
I feel very inadequate. What do I have to give that people really genuinely just want you to just be there for them? They really you know, you don’t have to do anything extravagant. And I feel like it’s love that makes all of our gifts useful. And because we have the Holy Spirit living in us and we have the fruit of the spirit, that means we have love. We have just love in us, which is they got they love, which means then we can pour out that love.
But the key is, is we’ve got to be poured into first, which we are, because we have the Holy Spirit in us and then we have something of value to share.
That’s really amazing. And I love life and love and love and respect is actually a Bible study that my really close girlfriend from protocol to Princess always puts marriage couples through, because I think for us it’s love and for men it’s usually respect and and knowing the symbiotic peace of that in our relationships is just really critical. And I remember when we were walking through a really difficult time in our marriage and this was my coming into understanding this relational experience with God, him as well simultaneously, and recognizing God as a father for the first time in my life, which I love, that you explained that character piece of the Lord because he’s so many things.
And and I needed to understand him as a father. And the only way that I was able to do that was once I had children. So I think God is so intentional in the timing of him showing himself to you and the different areas, the different character traits that he possesses. But to go back to what I was saying is understanding that he has this incredible ability to to show up in a place of respect as well.
And my husband was unpacking it and he would count it and he would actually pointed out in other women when they would respect their husband. He kept saying, I just love the way that she respects him. And it constantly, like had me in a self reflection mode of am I not respecting you like I respect you. Right. And I respect you.
Of course there was, but never really understanding at a ground level like what is respect and how can we build our lives, examples in our lives, testimonies in our words and our affirmations and all of those things around a place that you feel respected and so that there’s an expectation that then you can release because I am going to love and respect you regardless, because that’s much as a wife. So I love I love just conversations with people about marriage because I think it’s something that isn’t done all the time.
And also sometimes, especially when I’m talking to another ministry leader. Right. It could become for others and again, legalistic. It could become in this place of, oh, they’ve got that perfect marriage, figure it out. But I desperately want people to understand when we are unpacking these things that it’s not from a place of shame or guilt, but it’s a place of recognition and deep trying. OK, like there is a lot of work in this.
It does not happen naturally and especially with having kiddos. I mean, I lose track on him being my number one ministry so much more often than I could ever lose track of my children. And then in that same regard that I could ever lose track of, like a client or customer or community member, because I feel like they need me and they’re just going to be there anyway. Right. But the people that are there anyway, those are the ones that need to be there to fill you up in order for you to be there on the outset.
Yeah, yeah. You know, I fall into kind of the same trap. Trap might be that not really the right word, but I have a tendency to do the same thing. And in fact, it makes me think, you know, in the very beginning of my relationship with my husband, because I didn’t have the relationship with the Lord, I wanted him to still feel me because I need your approval again. I need you to tell me that I’m valuable.
I need I need you to be everything for me. And then once I’m in had that relationship with the Lord, everything kind of swishes like, well, I’m actually good.
And I don’t need to say I hope everybody knows that I’m being good, you know, because the Lord the Lord started to fill me up and so freed my husband in so many ways.
And just because my husband is a very independent man and I’m like, he’s good, he doesn’t necessarily need me either, you know, like he’s good. I do think we have a tendency to do that.
And then I wanted to touch on something that you said about marriage, because in that love and respect, because I actually said the the reason that marriage is survived is because those people didn’t give up. And so I think it’s very true that, you know, we are all kind of in this. Process like that’s the Christian life, the sanctification. I feel like marriage is very much a sanctifying, sharpening type relationship. Iron sharpens iron. And I’m thankful for that.
And so I think it just knowing that we are all in process until God calls us home gives me a lot more grace for my husband to say, OK, you know, let’s let’s regroup. You’re in process. I’m in process. Let’s start again and do it again tomorrow. But just knowing and kind of embracing, like we’re trying to find each other and that’s a good thing. We want to be more like Jesus.
And so we’re just the next day we’re going to be a little bit more like him prayerfully and again, gives you guys the release of the control and the situation and the release of the ability to fill each other’s cup to the full brim, because that’s not really our full job. And and having that understanding is just something that I could have never comprehended when I first understood what or who Jesus was or what Christianity was for back in middle school. And so I’m I think it’s really cool that we have that parallel in timing because it’s just been an evolution and a becoming process for me and something that I hope frees people.
If you’re listening to this and you’re not in that space of feeling like I understand all the facets and facets of Jesus that they’re talking about, you might not. And I know that there’s way more to who he is that I haven’t quite understood yet either. And and understanding right now as I’m unpacking the life and the situations that we’re in as a country and a world predicament, understanding that God is still the God of the Old Testament as much as he is the God of the New Testament.
And where does that play into today? And so that’s like a big conversation. We could be here for an entire other podcast to go into that. But I’d love to hear just a bit of your heart on how you see the love offering playing out for for this for such a time as this. Yeah.
I mean, honestly, I feel like I mean, we are all always in need of love. I mean, that’s just like from Genesis to Revelation. I mean, that’s just that’s the story. But I think I don’t know, for whatever reason, it really feels like especially now, you know, this there’s so much hurt and there’s so much discord and there’s so much need, I think, for hope right now. And so maybe every day we just approach the day, OK, who has God put me in front of today and how can I offer them love?
And so and just knowing that God created them, just like he created me and you. And they everybody is worthy of that love. And if you don’t have the strength to do it in your own strength, he is going to give you the ability to do that, just like we talked about, that a cappella doesn’t come from us. And so I think more than ever, it’s just trying to make something intangible, tangible, because the reality is, is God isn’t seen.
Right? I mean, we we the more time we spend in his word, we can hear his voice and then worship music and in prayer. And so for those that have never met him before, we have got to the only way that they can see him is through us. And so to me, there’s never been a better time to extend love and offer our love to everybody around us.
I love us so much. Right. And I’m so excited. So the book’s coming. Eventually you guys get it right now. You can still tune in to the Love Offering podcast and how it’s like, do you interact with people besides the podcast? Where are you spending your most time with? How can we get in communication community with you?
Yeah, I would love for women to tune into the podcast. It really is just interview style like this to celebrate and catalyze extraordinary givers. You know, I’m really I’m really kind of sounds pageantry, but I genuinely want to make this world a better place. You know, I feel like that is why we are here. And if we’re not doing that, what are we doing? You know? Right. We’ve got work to do. And it’s not just about deeds because it’s our our faith is what leads us into salvation, but it’s our deeds that make our faith genuine.
Right. And so the past is about as practical ways that other women are using their gifts to and to love the Lord and love others around them. And so, yeah, just that can be found wherever any listening platform and and then. Yeah, just on Instagram and on Facebook. Rachel Adams, author, I’d love to connect with women there. And then just my website. Rachel Adams dot com.
So fun. Rachael, I feel so blessed by this conversation and I really do feel like it was so timely. Again, I love that. Like, I think we had to postpone our thing a couple of times and it changed the timing so many times. I am so grateful that it was today and I hope that all of the people listening to. On the podcast to come, they just feel present because that’s how I really felt during this conversation, because I feel like it really is for such a time as this.
And it really is a necessary conversation that we’re having with our loved ones on a consistent basis. And to realize even that conversation that stemmed from our marriage, like asking someone best friend, your kiddos, your mom, your dad, like, how can I love you better? And how do you feel loved most by me. And and just unpacking that with the people that you’re positioned around and realizing that everyone needs love and receives love differently. And it’s really if we’re called to love, that isn’t an easy thing.
There is a lot that goes behind that. And so the process of us becoming better at loving like that sounds like an awesome calling. Like I’m all in for that. So in your book, I expect there to be a good reason to do list the reason checklist for me, because I just I think that’s so good and because everybody does it so differently. I need to go back and listen to all of your podcasts to listen in on how other people are loving.
Well, because I know my understanding of love is as so minuscule to God’s understanding of love. And if we’re all like God created by God, we should all be loving differently. So there’s a lot to learn. And I’m excited that you have a podcast all about that. So thank you for doing the great commission in your work and just doing so and such a beautiful I can sense your humility and it’s a really beautiful to watch. So thank you.
And I’m excited to be in community with you. Thank you so much. All right. I’ll see you soon.