The Love of a Family with Joy Farley
I get to call Joy Farley sister. I do and not just through the airwaves of Clubhouse, not just through the airwaves of this podcast, but in real life. Joy is a real estate broker specializing in new home construction, and while this conversation doesn't necessarily lend itself to her high heels or construction boots life, it is actually more about the human, the heart, the soul, and to her testimony of where she was raised, who she was raised by.
She shares some of her own personal development revelations that have been a part of her faith. I know you're going to love hearing her share about the beauty of the covenant love of marriage and about being an actual family and what that means. Enjoy!
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Joy Farley is a real estate broker in Charlotte, NC specializing in new home construction. She has a passion for building both communities and people and is affectionately known as the “Friend Collector.” Building things that LAST make for rewarding work. She is a sister to 6 and an auntie to 3. When she is not working you can catch her traveling, spending time with friends and family, sweating it out in the gym, trying new recipes, reading all things personal development, hosting social audio spaces, toying with fashion, and her favorite pastime….. getting lost- the very best way to truly get found.
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Show Notes: Love of a Family
I get to call her sister. I do. I really actually do. And not just through the airwaves of clubhouse, not just through the airwaves of this podcast, but in real life. Y'all I had the most amazing opportunity to hang out, to have coffee. While she ate breakfast. Yes. Together with the one Millie joy, Farley.
And so if you don't know who joy Farley is, she lives in Charlotte. She's a real estate broker specializing in new home construction. This conversation doesn't necessarily lend itself to. Her high heel or construction boots. It actually lives self more to the human, to the heart, to the soul, to the family development, to the, how to her testimony of where she was raised, who she was raised by and some of her favorite.
Personal development revelations that have been a part of her faith. And so I know you're going to love it. Not only because it made me tear up a lot, even though my cheeks were hurting from smiling, it was like those tears that were transpiring behind the lens, as she was sharing about the beauty of the covenant love of marriage.
About being an actual family and what that means from a love without borders, a love with ultimate grace and all the other things, a part of her family. I mean, they're all of her siblings. Yes. There are seven, I believe in connection to her. They're either NFL players or they perform in at the met. City ballet.
I mean, just to see the thriving because of the grace, because of the willingness and because of God only, there's only one story and all the stories to the Fitbit podcast lend itself to who he is. So hangout jumped for joy with me. As we introduced joy, Farley, follow her on social media tag, us posts, get involved, get invested, and I know we'll be together again soon.
So hopefully you'll be at the coffee table next.
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leader. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.
And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
Welcome. Welcome to the bitten bay podcast. I am so excited to be here with my friend joy, Farley. If you guys don't know her, then you haven't been hanging out with me pretty much for the last year and a half on clubhouse. And that's a okay. Cause join. Life in person right now on a bit and big podcasts.
What's up girlfriend. What's happening. I love the intro music. I was backstage dancing. I be, if you don't know joy, she might be in heels. She might be in combat boots. She might be construction boots. You never know she is all over the map and her fashion is always. Points. I was going to say on fleek, do they say
I'm not that cool. I love it. So joy. I can't wait to just share with people. I mean, there has been such a behind the scenes friendship. That's evolved with us over the course of the last year for it since first meeting and breakfast of champions last year. And it's one of authenticity. It's one of jokes.
It's one of lightheartedness, but it's also one a great day. And I feel like that's what you bring to every relationship and whether it's through an audio app or, um, in-person. Cause I know you are a friend collector I'd love to just kind of take a back of stage pass on the life that's been cultivated in who joy is and how that's come to be shaped the way that you have.
No, I love it. So I love just being here, live with you. I feel like it's one thing to hear. People's voices. It's another thing to see their faces. And when you combine them both, it's just magic. So thank you for, and I have to tell you I'm going to be in Charlotte soon. So this is really going to be a thing I'm going to I'll send you all the.
I knew that he'd send me that it's I literally have spent the past week with so many of our friends from club hosts. And I was like, oh my gosh, why can't I be there? And I'm like, Hey, have you ever run my city? If we ever close to my city, if I need to hop on a plane. Um, but that's what genuine friendships look like.
You go the extra mile for each other. You cheer for each other. If there's something that you're doing, I want to know about it. I want to share about it. I want to talk about. And when people say joy, you're just a friend collector. I just take friendship really seriously. It's not just something that, oh, that's my friend, but you show up for each other and you cheer.
And I like to say, have everybody Cho, I'll be your chief hype woman officer any day of the week. Um, I like to say the C suite, if you know what I'm saying. Um, but it's just. I mean, I think of a lifetime of not just collecting friends, but just being present. And I think I truly get that from my mom. If anyone knows Belinda, she doesn't know a stranger, she will meet her best friend in the line of the grocery store, just exchange information.
And before you know it they're at the house. You know, Sunday lunch and that's been my entire life. Um, I'm one of seven kids. So we always joke about, well, I always had insulated friends, but I was always friends with their friends. And then this multiplication, I'm not good at math, but it was like, oh, well I got a bunch of friends and you've got a bunch of friends and everyone's just all.
You know, at the house and my favorite thing these days, especially as an adult on the weekends, sometimes I'll pick up the phone and call my brothers and like, Hey, you want to go talk to strangers? Like favorite thing to do, literally we'll just go somewhere random and just hang out with new people.
Connect. And before, you know, it you're exchanging information on Instagram or, oh, you're in real estate. Oh, I need dah, dah, dah. And it was so much fun, but I just think that is God's biggest gift to me is a personality that leans in and it's great in business. It's great in life. And I don't know any strangers and I don't even check the tag anymore.
I just throw friends in the bag. I'm like, you've been selected. Come on in. That's so good. And I love that you said like, even with your siblings, like that built-in installation, I was really close with one of my siblings than the other one. Like we're still working on it. Right. And yet we know that we have each other's back.
I believe that without a shadow of a doubt, like I would drop anything if there was any, you know, anything at the end of the day that they need. And I think it's important for us to recognize in a society that's so disconnected the collecting factor, that connection factor that your mom exampled with social media without all of the gadgets, right.
It's just like go out into the community and that are yeah. Heart to heart. Exactly. Like B to B, B to C or what about HD, right? Yeah. So good. So talk to us through. The, the sibling, my potential rivalries, or maybe that wasn't an example of your household. I don't know much about your mom. I feel like I know a lot about your dad through social media
is so I just feel like I know dad, like, I feel like he's just this like comforting little, like space of wisdom and you have that for trades. And now it's cool to learn about mama too, but like, Where did the friction stuff come? Where, where is that hardships? Oh my gosh. Well, growing up with seven, seven of us, I mean, on paper, we grew up under the poverty line.
If you're just looking at facts and that never stopped us from doing anything, I think authenticity and relate-ability and all these things that are really kind of buzzwords in social media land. Right now, that's in my mom's whole life. You know, she's always been a truth teller. She has always been.
Just one who will just tell it, like it is in grace and in truth and to say, Hey, like, there is no Christmas. My husband just lost his job or, you know, the, our landlord is selling our house and we have nowhere to go. Um, when you don't have a house, that means you're homeless. You know, our pastor growing up, you know, being in one of those situations, being like, well, we've gotta be out of our place in 30 days.
I have nowhere to go and literally. They brought our family and all nine of us to be like, until, until you find a place like there's no big deal, you know? And I think just being able to lean into uncomfortable conversations. Tell people where you're really at. And I think that's when it comes to friendships too, is I want to know people really yet.
You don't have to tell me that you're fine when you're not fine. Um, when it comes to my siblings, we are all very close. Um, of course there's, you know, just natural family stuff that always comes up and you love each other through it. We're all spread out nowadays. Um, three of my brothers live here in Charlotte.
Um, my parents are here in town as well. I'm from here, which is crazy. I never thought I'd be back here after college, but that's just how the cookie crumbled. Um, but I've got a brother in Nashville, Silas, my youngest brother and his wife live in Los Angeles. My sister's in Atlanta. So we're all over the place.
If I'm really honest, we've never had this sibling rivalry, but we are all high achievers. Um, I've got a brother in the NFL, my youngest brother, Silas dance for the New York city ballet for eight years up until COVID, uh, moved to New York and he was 14 just like running the arts world. The top level athletes and, um, the arts, my sisters in the world of wine I'm in real estate, you've got sales, you've got corporate recruiting, like it's across the board, but all of us are each other's biggest fans.
You know, I think if you have big family, um, you know, things always come up where it's like, uh, you know, we call it the quick and the hungry move your feet. Like, um, you will get left behind and we laugh about that. At the same time, high achievers, but never in a space where we made any of us feel less than.
And I think I look back at, you know, my childhood and really now in my adult years to say my siblings, would you absolutely anything for me, we joke about, um, I love being in a big family, cause somebody might have a dollar I can borrow. And there's been times over the years where it's like, you know, my parents wanted to be there for Silas's big, uh, Arts dance, whatever it is up in New York.
And it's like, I don't have, we don't have any money to do. You know, term, plane tickets around and in one text message, you're like, I can do 50. I can do a hundred, I can do 200. And in five minutes, you're like, you're going to New York. You know what I mean? So it's just easy. You look back on so many things and just say, I love being in a big family because it really teaches you how to be very.
What's the right word for it. Uh, you're like a chameleon. You can just be all of the things. And at the same time, coming from a family where everyone's like air, any of you, I'm under, jeebers like, is anybody like, um, do this or that? And I'm like, listen, we are each other's biggest fans. I think we also go by the motto, like if I've got it, you've got it.
Uh, if I've got, if I've got a car, you always have a ride and that's just how your role. So if it comes from my mom, it's so funny that you've mentioned that you feel yeah.
When I going to be posting more about Belinda, I feel like I talked about collectively a lot. Um, and I think too, just being gross. And looking back at all the sacrifices that they made, being in a space now where I'm like, gosh, I never really realized the sacrifices that they made to give all of us a chance.
And you know, we're like this friends, I never really went through like a middle school, high school. Like I hate my mom kind of phase, you know, we've always been really tight and. She's been hanging out with in these days as a girl grown folks being like, can I come over and eat your groceries? You know?
And they love it. That was actually always one of my rare things going to my parents' house and opening up the cupboard. And I would just stay in that. It was mainly just because there was a lot. Yeah. The snacks with the best snacks.
Which snacks, free snacks, free snacks, or the best, whatever you got. I'll I'm going to bail the area and I'll eat what's available. Good, good, good. Then you would love the way that my husband prepares a fridge because he like, literally extracts everything off of the stems. It's all fresh cut and it's in like glass jars.
And so you can come in and just like eat right out of the fridge at any point with fresh fruit and vegetable. Yeah, just snacks. The snacks are also pretty to look at too, and they're gorgeous and not bots. Um, but I wanted to ask because one, I, I think the way that you speak about your family and the experience that you had is different.
And I wonder how often when you're hearing people speak about their childhood or. Their upbringing. Do you feel, I mean, obviously you feel blessed, but do you feel like you could engage in support of how people could do it better? Because I feel like that's, I mean, even being a friend collector, a lot of people can say that about themselves.
Well, I think everybody has. Lived experience. And I think when you're willing to share yours, it kind of opens the door for other people to share theirs, even in the highs, the lows, the messies, the in-betweens. And I think no one really talks about their childhood, unless it's like, oh, I've had childhood trauma or it's always a negative.
How did you grow up? How did you become who you are? You know, tell me about your family. Tell me about your siblings. How did you get to be here? And I think I know those things about my friends is because I simply ask, you know, we talk about all kinds of things and it's not because you had a bad childhood.
You know, a lot of people have a great childhood known us and about it. How did you get to where you are now? And I always tell people from the beginning of any kind of interaction, it's like, listen, favor's not fair. It has followed me my whole life. And my life has never made sense on paper. And I look back on so many things from growing up to even being where I am now.
I didn't script any of this. And if you looked on just the facts, our life has never made sense to anyone. One, my parents had been married for, I guess this is almost 41 years. My dad's white, my mom's black. It wasn't trendy. Um, on Twitter or Instagram to be an interracial relationships 40 years ago. Um, like when you talk about, uh, you've been disowned for.
Married my mom, and very clear about that. And I look at so many things in my life where it's, you know, whether it's rejection or being kind of always in the middle, I can always see both sides of so many stories, whether it's race, religion. I grew up on one side of the tracks and went to private school on the other side of the tracks and a whole scholarship, you know?
So it's. I don't care if you own this building, or if you clean this building, like, I just love people. And I think that has been the superpower of, I think growing up in a big family, you learn just adjust and be really agreeable. But I think on the flip side with. You genuinely just care. And that's always been something that was brought into my home with both of my parents, you know, that hard work and sacrifice those.
Weren't just like, Hey, here's my credit card go play. You know, when I graduated from college, I bought my first car. I didn't have, I didn't have a car in college and the cars we grew up driving. Cool. We're given to us, literally, like had never had a car payment. Like we joke about paying our hoop. You do's like paid in full.
I just want to have four hubcaps and working air conditioning and that'd be the happiest person in the world. But I literally grew up watching my dad, like under the hood of a car in the snow, in the cold, in the rain. Cause he didn't pay. We weren't going to school tomorrow. And my dad's not a mechanic.
Like he would just figure things out and he was always over resourceful. And I look back now and I see him just living a great life. Like my brother bought them a house, um, a few years back and just living in this season of true, just peace and joy where things don't feel so hard, uphill, both ways, literally debt, all of us, you know, look around and you know, you're doing this and you're doing that.
To never ask for anything, but it's like the joy of all of our hearts to be like, shoot, this is the best season ever, because we've watched you as an example, our whole lives like leading with your heart and making every, there's always an extra seat at the table. You know, we'd always didn't have Mon I don't have something I can always give you, but my mom, if you met her today, she would literally tell them.
I might not have money, but I will never be a poor person. And I think that mentality has followed me my whole life. And I got to get you connected with my mom. If you're gonna be in Charlotte, I'm like you need, started the friend collection, you know, cause she just leads with heart and loves people and she just has this magnetic.
Just spirit about her, that people want to know who she is. And she's like, I'm just real regular. I just love people. And whenever my, everyone to everyone, she makes everybody feel like somebody. And I think that is a great trait to have. And you can't teach that in a classroom, you know? No, you really can't.
And because so much about parenting is like caught, not taught my husband. And I read about this all the time. It's like, we can teach them everything we think they should know, but they're not going to listen. If we're not the example. And to re. Stuart at home and to really steward a life like those are the things that are fundamental to forever.
It doesn't matter what your job looks like. It doesn't matter what the state of the world it is. And it doesn't matter. Who's in the election chair at all. None of these things matter. It really just does matter like the eye contact the people in front of you. How well are you loving them? And are you present in that process?
And so you, is it not taught. Your kids, you catch them doing good things. And that's always rewarded. Like my parents always caught us doing, I mean, of course, like we're just being kids. You probably caught me doing some bad things, but the praise when I catch you doing good things and the feeling of, I mean, I'm 30, almost 33 years old, and there's not a time when something great happens in my life.
And there was. They're the first to congratulate to cheer us on they're our biggest cheerleaders, you know, and they're the pride of saying. I didn't do any of this, but I didn't teach them how to be athletic or, you know, have brains. And, uh, everyone's like, is there an ugly one in the bunch? I never really know what to do with that either.
Like, all my siblings are extremely like attractive people, not just physically. It's like they, we go out and do like, who are these? People. And so it's one thing when you're out in the world by yourself. It's another thing when you're out with like, you know, all your siblings,
I'm going to write that down. I'm not embarrassed. I know that when people catch me doing good things and tell me, so it's so encouraging because like you can't bless someone with a closed mouth. If I see something great that you're doing. I want you to know about it, actually have a highlight bubble on my Instagram.
It's called, um, that's my friend y'all and when I catch people doing great things, I'm like my friend's on a podcast. She's in Forbes, like doing big stuff, like sold the business, doing whatever the big thing is. And when you just catch people doing great things and they're not looking for your praise, you just catch them doing good.
And I think that those behaviors end up being replicated. It's like, wow, maybe I should start doing, you know, more encouraging people because. It literally is a trickle effect. And then the way you feel when someone encourages you, makes you want to share it all day long, I feel like you're writing a book right now.
Like this is an a for now book and conversation as you're just like dropping little gyms and you're doing it so freely. Like this is so normal. I hope you recognize how un-normal it is and how it should be. Right. It's like the way of, I believe God's heart and how. Steward being a human. Um, but it's really the antithesis of what most people experience.
There's a gal who's live, who actually lives in Charlotte near you. Um, and I encourage her to us a couple of weeks ago to go to. For the first time. And she had been living in the area for several years and hadn't gone to church at all and she just hadn't gotten invited into a community. And obviously COVID is a huge component of that.
Um, and I was like, just go, just be in space with other people, because as much as I love you through the internet, I can only love you so much. And I want you to be in the energy of people. And she just mentioned earlier today that she was so grateful that she had gone because people were actually seeing her in surprisingly, she was receiving hugs from strangers.
That is like, yes, it's the way of the church, but it's not the way of, of human race right now. And so I just want to give you kudos, encourage you that like the message you spread is so contagious and the reason you have so many friends is because of the way you show up in the world as such a light and such a joy that so many people don't have access to.
And that, that is really, I think the quality that your family is, is drawn to other people are drawn to is because of. Wow. They're actually kind. Why does it kind of have to be a, I never see this around, out in the wild, when you run into kind people that should, that should be the baseline, just like excellence or anything else that when you make those things, just that's how you roll it.
Shouldn't be like, I haven't run into a kind person and. You know, everyone is so focused on success, right? We've learned about this even through clubhouses, like I'm a fed a 17 figure or 37 figure entrepreneur. I'm like, I make a hundred dollars a year. I'm in three, I'm at a three figure earner, hundreds of dollars a year, which is talking about, and this is like real though.
This is such a real thing. And it's all people's resources are all. Uh, geared towards success and a success version associated to finances. Like your mom said, I am a rich, I am so rich. I might not have the bank account that you have in your nice suit, but I'll never be a poor person. That's different.
Yeah. Uh, mentality. It's a heart set. And I just, I think there's a lot to what you're saying that we haven't even had conversations about here on the Fitbit podcast. Four seasons. So you have such a unique quality. And I think it's really important to, I know that it's not your nature to like, hold this as like a gift, but it's, it's a talent.
It's a gift that God's given. It's just funny when people will talk about talent or gifts, you know, my, my parents always told all seven of us growing up that your gifts will make room for you. And as long as it's legal, we'll support you a hundred percent for first though, long it's like, what are the things that you're gifted in?
And how can we encourage that? So it's so interesting. Looking back. Whether it was dance or sports and all these different areas of lit us up. And my hair's like, I don't care about BMX biking or skateboarding or all these phases of life. Like that looks like a, uh, ER, bill or being reckless and I'm not here for it.
And I look back and I'm like, geez, there's so many instances of. Being in spaces that didn't make sense to anybody else. And my parents were like, Hey, whatever we can do to support you and that your gifts all with. Come to the forefront. And I know specifically for my youngest brother, Silas, he was never interested in athletics.
He loved the arts and theater and acting. And I remember as a kid, he was like singing opera, like in the mirror and fake crying and all these fun things that I think about now. And he's running the arts, like the world of dance choreography. He's about to do a huge, um, Work with, uh, the New York city ballet, again, as like a guest artists.
Like there's so many things I look back and I'm like, my parents weren't dancers and they weren't this or that, but it's like the things that his heart was drawn to, that all of us were, you know, athletes. And here Silas was the performing arts kid. And my parents were like, um, my mom was taking money out of the grocery budget.
Looking back when she told me that. Weekly grocery budget for nine people is like, you know, 60 bucks. And I'm like, I go to the grocery store. I'm like, um, what I like eating today? You know, like the things I don't even think about now, we're how do you make the coffee break stretch? And when it comes to, like you said, seeing things, other people and doing something about it has been a lifetime of intention.
I think, um, I have lots of conversations these days with my parents about. How hard things really were. And I think as a parent, you protect your kids from so much, but sometimes you protect them from the reality of what really is. And we never knew that we were poor. You know, we always had friends over and there was always an extra.
Seat at the Sunday after church table. And my mom always has something to give, whether it's an encouraging word or a little trinket or something, even to this day, I'll come over and she's like, Hey, I bought you flowers. I'm a grown. And it's like the little things that mean the most to me. Whereas sometimes you will try and make these grandiose gestures that I'm a 57 figure entrepreneur.
And I'm like, I don't care. What's keeping you up at night, you know? And you can talk to people about like, There's really going on that I think a lot of people hide behind what's, you know, visible, what what'd you drive? What zip code you live in what'd you do for work? And it's like, well, who are you when the lights go off?
You know, who are you when you're by yourself? And the things that you know are stirring on the inside. And I think that depth of I've always kind of been like an old soul I'm like, I just wanna know. I'm just curious. I just want to know things. And I think in doing that, people really feel like I know them, not just.
I see them, like I know them and I think there's a huge difference. So when you make the effort to care a little bit more than, you know, just liking people's posts on Instagram and you really know them, what they're really going through. I think that's where that heart to heart connection really takes off.
And the people are like, I can meet someone, ask inquisitive questions, and then you feel like you've known them for your whole life and you might've just met. And I think. That happens to me all the time in business too. I'm in real estate and I'm like, I don't have, I don't have clients. I just become, people's like, you know, new best friend.
It's great. And you're like specialty in that is in new construction. Right. Which I find so fascinating that new car smell that's so personal. Do you work specifically with the contractors and the new homeowners and like you're the blend between. So I am that I'm really the face of our builders. So I worked for a national company.
We build on a whole bunch of different markets across the country, but say you're looking for a new home, but you want to build a new home. Like you would come to my community. I've built communities all over. So it's so fun to drive through some neighborhoods that I, you drive to the neighbors all the time.
Like, oh, I'm going to my friend's house. You know, gotta turn on this street and turn on that street. Well, someone had to build those houses from the beginning when that was just like open land. They're always as a first homeowner. And I get to be that person that says, Hey, like, let's figure it out. You're looking for and how your family lives and what's not working in your current situation because no one moves just for fun.
Moving is not fun, but the only reason people move is to improve their lives. And I feel like I get to be that initial. How's your home search coming along, like talk to me and this market, it is insane. People come in my door. Defeated. And I'm just like, I think when you can bring that empathy into the workplace and say like, tell me, what's really going on.
Like, why are you moving? What's not working. How are you feeling in this market? And people will just be like, I've lost out on like five homes that I loved and. You know, maybe you were, you know, needing to go in a different direction. And I feel like I get to be like their friend holding their hand and I, the biggest transaction of their life, whether you're a first-time buyer or a move up buyer, or you're retiring is your last home.
I love being a part of the process. And I always tell people like I build homes, but I love building hearts just as much. And when you just love people, like those things, I think translate the most. So I'm like, I never feel like I'm ever going to work. I just meet new people every day we become friends and I like to connect great people with great things and.
I didn't get paid to be myself like overjoyed or feel like you need to quit your job and go find the thing that you're meant to do. I mean, that is so amazing. And people think that like, you have to be an entrepreneur. I hear this all the time. Like I have to be an entrepreneur in order to live on purpose or be in purpose or actually pursue the mission on my.
And I love the way that you show up to life and the antithesis of that, because I think people need to know that, like that's not for everyone, there's like a certain breed of people that that's right. And I'm not the one to be backed by billions. I'm like, I don't think I have a very creative. Mind, but I don't think that creating something from scratch and building something is in my wheelhouse or my stack of cards.
But I think I'm that person that, okay, you've got a great idea. You've got an incredible vision and you just need someone to go spread the word or to connect the right people and put them in the right seats. Like that's where I think I always have been able to be like, okay, well here's the backing, but.
You can just go talk to people and marry them together. And before you know, it, you know, it's like a match made in heaven and I never thought I'd be in real estate of all things. And like, my parents never went to home. We weren't running through model homes on the weekends. Um, and I knew nothing about construction or sales.
And, but when people see things in you that you don't see in yourself, like that's exactly what happened. Um, right as I was graduating from college. So I look back on so many things and I'm like, gosh, I never, I didn't script this life. Just like my parents look at all seven of us, like, well, we didn't script this either.
And to see the favor that has followed us, um, I had these customers. Paintings done. One of my girlfriends, I literally found her on Facebook marketplace. Then by the time I picked them up, I was like, oh, we're best friends. Hey girl. Um, but I see rainbows all the time and I know you do too, like this, not just colorful things that brighten up everybody's day, but I literally see rainbows, but this idea of.
Always knowing that I'm covered. There's this covering that follows my life. That I'm like, it doesn't have to make sense to anybody. Um, the things that are for me will never miss me and no one else can sign for my packages. Just like what's for Tamra. Isn't going to miss you. Okay. Not going to come to my house, please return to sender if it's not for me.
And I'm just always reminded that this covering is it doesn't have to make sense. And so many people will look at whether it's you're in business or maybe you're an entrepreneur and you're doing your own thing, but it's like, we're not all called for the same things for the same reasons. And the same times, maybe, maybe something changes.
And I want to go be an entrepreneur and go out on my own. But I think you can make a huge impact wherever you are, whether it's. Being in a business or starting a business or running a business. I think wherever you go, there you are. So if you're excellent, one space, you'll definitely show up that way.
And any room that you entered. I think the main perspective piece is like, what's so critical for that. Right. And to understand that, like, it really, isn't just like, you're talking about your siblings and like no rat rivalry in that space, but instead of elevation, it's thinking to every situation, what could I bring to elevate this situation?
Not to compete, not to step on anybody while I'm doing it, but. Simply elevate the entire space. And so I think about that even just entering a room that has nothing to do with business or anything, it's just as a whole, I want to go in and elevate. And it's the word that I use specifically is illuminate.
Like, I just want to go in and just bring light and that is. It's an easy thing to do. And I say that because so many people don't get it and they want this like unique quality about themselves.
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Go to www.fit in faith, media.com. Again, that's fit in faith, media.com. Book your call. If you're a founder, an innovator, a trailblazer or a wannabe, we can help you get there. Let's do it. How would you share with someone to like, how do I find my gift or how do I, how do I even step into something that doesn't have a typical, like, um, business or job title, like friend collector, something like that, right?
Like that's a job title, but in a, in the kingdom, it's a job title in the kingdom. Well, I think for a lot of people, the things that other people see as, you know, talent or gifts or things that. Come to you like breathing. And for me, when people say, oh my gosh, like you can just walk into any room and talk to anybody.
How do you do that? My heart's racing when I have to talk to people, I don't know, or I'm not comfortable with like, I don't know how you do it. And for me, I'm like, well, look, let's, we're just going to go talk to a stranger like right now. And here's how you, how you do it. Sometimes I was, I was joking with, um, someone a few days ago.
I was out at an event that I didn't really know a bunch of people. And you go to places. You know, you bring someone along and they're like, Uplander you the whole time? Like, I'd rather have come by myself because I'm going to have to like babysit you because you don't like talking to people and you're going to be like attached to me the whole time.
And I'm trying to go like talk to strangers. Like, I love it. I love it. But I literally sometimes will go to people that I don't know. And you're like, oh, hi, I'm Joanne. Like, do you have. And people will be like, excuse me, like that. She just asked me if I have a name, it's the best ice breaker, because one, I'm not a small person.
I'm six foot one flat-footed I always have heels on. I just feel the most me and heels. But of course you walk in a room for like, like people make shoe contact before they make eye contact with me, just to confirm that I'm actually this job. Sometimes I'll go to people and I'm like, oh, hi, I'm joy. Do you have.
And I literally have told so many people that over the years, that if you want to go, go to some random place that you've never been with people you do not know and walk up to them, be like, oh, hi, I'm so-and-so do you have a name? And it's so disarming, but they're like, of course I have a name. And then before, you know what you're just like in conversation, but the things that you just do naturally.
Are your gifts that other people perceive as skill or talent or something that you work hard on to. Perfect. And it's like, I just wake up and be me and in doing so people are like, wow, what great gifts and talents that you have. And I think for those. I mean, I see my friends who are artistic or creative and I'm like, how do you see like photography or, you know?
Right. Whatever that thing is that you are so strong in that you're like, oh, I can I write poems on the back of napkins? And I'm like, my brain just does not think like that. So to encourage someone who is watching this now or later is to say, what are the things that people are always. Speaking into your life, like, gosh, you're so creative.
Like you should go write a book. You should post your work online. You should sell something. Or whatever that thing is that you're like, oh, I do this just for fun. Or what are those things you do for fun, that could be turned into a career or a paycheck and the things that lights you up naturally that don't feel like resistance.
And for me, it's just connecting with people. So if I get paid to be me, then that doesn't feel like I'm going to work. Like sometimes I'm like, I can't believe I get paid for this. You know, I sell a lot of homes, but at the end of the day, it's like, I collect a lot of friends and then you just become, you just ended up being the mayor of the neighborhood.
People see my car and they're like, oh, Joe is the neighborhood. I feel safe where the kids will get off the bus and like pop in my office and be like, miss joy. Can I be your assistant? And I'm like, I don't pay very well, but sure. That was encouraging those things. If you see something, say something and what are the things that people are always saying about you or to you directly, that everyone can't be wrong?
You know what I mean? Like the things that people consistently tell me about myself that I think deep down, I know, but it almost feels like, well, this is just easy. This is not talent. This feels easy. And those are your gifts. Well, and I think when we process through the Bible and you've been such a, like a sharpener for me over the last year, Via silly things that we've said back and forth to each other, but it's like, it kind of puts you a wrecked because the way that you drop information, it's like, oh, that was, that was actually really good.
I should actually step into that more. Um, but it's this understanding like gifts and talents. Aren't something that we do have to strive for. And yet that feels like what, that's, what everyone's doing. Like what's my calling, what's my purpose. It's like, it's way over there. Go run, go faster, go harder towards it when it's just like, if you just already there.
Yeah, it's feels so freeing and so restful. And so again, it's an anti-culture. And so I just, I love that about you. And I think if more people could unlock that for themselves, they wouldn't feel like they're constantly overwhelmed, stressed, and indated even sick. Like literally physically sick. Your physical, you know, realm has been something you've also poured into a lot.
So I'd love to just close since we're on the fit and faith podcast, like the faith perspective, whether it be through your childhood, into where it is now, or like, how do you show up in practice this understanding, and even just gratitude back to God for the, for the gift, for the ease, for the understanding of that.
Well, I think daily, I have this saying that I just asked for grace for today when my feet hit the floor, this idea that his grace is sufficient for me. You know, my power is made perfect in your weakness. Like, I don't have all the answers I am in a high stress environment. Like if you just look at the acts like work-wise and everything else, and like, be like, how do you manage the multi-modal time all the time, multimillion dollar business, and do all these other things where like, watching your life is exhausting.
And I'm like, I feel the best about my life when I'm maximizing my responsibilities and the things that light me up. Um, and so I think when it comes to this idea of. How do I incorporate my faith, my fitness, uh, work, the things that are my gifts that feel just easy and light. And it's like, you know, I, I think gratitude is a huge practice for me that, you know, sometimes I close my eyes and think, wow, where I am right now.
The things I see around me in my physical space are things I used to just pray for. You know, as kids we used to say, oh, we would tell stories. Like we didn't have a TV growing up. My parents were like, and it's a no. And we had these things called imaginations that just don't exist in children anymore.
And we used to tell these like lofty stories of what would it be like to be rich and have all these like things. And I can tell you, like, those things never fill your heart up, but if you have them, it's like, Hey, I'm not talking about poverty again. Um, you know, I want to have nice things and I want to work hard and do the whole nine, but it's like, To look around your life and just be so grateful for the people, the, maybe the physical things that you have and can use and touch and enjoy.
But those things don't define you. I think people who walk into my story now just assume that I've had it made in the shade. You know, I love fashion. I love all these different things that I like to do. My makeup. I like getting my hair done. These nails are excessively bright and I'm like, why not? Um, however, you look around you, your.
I am so incredibly grateful for the little things, because I find that those things compound, you know, just like do decisions, you know, when it comes to like states or fitness, when you stack good decisions on top of good decisions, those things compound. And before, you know, it, you can't stack a bunch of good decisions and have bad outcomes.
And so I think for a lot of people, the same in reverse, you stack bad decision on that decision, but you don't feel the effects of it right away that you wouldn't probably be making those decisions, but those things compound too. So I'm just always very aware of. Favor is not fair. I have this covering that has followed me forever and will continue in the future, but a daily practice of gratitude and just asking for grace, you know, a sufficient grace that it's never too much, it's never lacking in the way.
There's some days, you know how it is like you're running, running, running, running around. And you're like, I don't even know how I did that. And you look back and I'm like, cause I asked for sufficient grace for today for what I needed today. I don't need to know what's on my calendar for this week. This month in five months, what's my game plan, business plan, whatever plan that always gets bloated in the weeds.
And I just asked God, I'm like, I just need grace for today. And that gives me so much clarity and peace that I don't have to worry about. On my agenda or schedule for tomorrow. Cause I can rest in the fact that he's going to provide what I need in this moment right now. And then when I wake up in the morning, tomorrow, my feet hit the floor and I asked for the same thing and he always provides it.
So I think being aware of the things that he has given you his gifts and talents, the things that he has provided for you and your physical space, and then to look back and be like, I can't wait to see what you're gonna do with my life, because this is a surprise to me too. I didn't write that one down.
I mean, we've changed so much in the past year. Like how many people we've met and connected with and have these just like heart connections with I've been, I've spent like the whole week, this week almost with like Darien Sanders and Emily into Nettie and like people that used to just like look up to and admire, and then they're just like, they want to breathe in your air just as much, you know?
So it's just, it's great. When you can just be yourself. You know, I think so many people are trying to be other people or emulate what other people are doing. And it's like, if you can get paid to be you, and if you can bring your full self into any space that you enter, that's what people are attracted to.
Nobody wants you to be a different version of yourself or be like somebody else. And they're like, no, I love Tamra because she's Tamra. And she brings all of these different, amazing qualities to the table. And when she's there, you feel it. And when she's not, you feel it. And I always tell people that is my definition of impact, that when you're there, it's known and when you're not people miss it.
So to be that person that you do lead impact, wherever you go, and that you just change the temperature in every room that you walk in by simply just being fully yourself. Oh, my you guys. I am so excited to just like, go do the very next thing that I have to do. And also that's the next thing. What else today?
I'm so grateful for you and just, um, our friendship. That's still growing. There's so much opportunity for us to just spend more time together. Uh, and I can't wait to be in Charlotte soon to be able to do that. I'm sending it right now. I'm like, send me the itinerary, all the details. And I will make, I will make myself wait to go talk with strangers.
Don't forget. You walk up to someone that you don't know. And you're like, hi, I'm Tim. Right? Do you have a name? Let me know how it goes. Like this could be like a huge, like experiment in your own way. Yeah, I think we can totally market this to be like, how do I icebreakers with strangers? So I'm challenging everyone.
I knew challenge. Do you have any challenge? Yeah, I love it. I love you for being here. Y'all if you want to hang out with joy, you can get on Instagram. That's where you're at most, these days, right? I hang out on Instagram the most. Yeah. All right. But next time in person. So you guys.
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And I can't wait to read what you have to say. Thanks again for being a loyal listener. And I hope to meet you in person soon at one of the events that we are speaking at or hosting. And I say. The fit and bake team could not do this without you until next time, blessings over your joy, how well and wholeness, this is a fit faith way. .