The Importance of Being in the Room with Pamela Snyder
Updated: Apr 2
Pam has been a long-time follower and client. Today's episode she talks with me about our coaching together and how it changed her business. Go listen and learn more about what coaching is like with F.I.T. in Faith!
Pam is a Master Parenting Coach and Gentle Baby and Child Sleep Specialist who walks parents into freedom and joy in their parenting by helping them to model the Gospel in their home. Through her Heal, Have, Hope method she has helped end sleepless nights, tantrums, sibling rivalry, listening difficulties, difficult family transitions and so much more in hundreds of families for the last decade. There is freedom and joy to be found in parenting, and when we live out the Gospel in our homes these things flow in abundance. She is on a mission to end Generational Trauma and the pain of Generational Parenting and walks alongside the Lord as he brings healing and restoration to the family unit.
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Show Notes: The Importance of Being in the Room
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit as space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom life. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep, or high that there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories, talents and tips as a purpose activator and brand builder.
I believe our successes and failures are derived from who. We are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
All right. So I don't know of anybody who is going to listen to this show afterwards. They're not going to hear that same intro split unless they watch it live. But I was laughing at the fact that your tone to your sweet intro and then my like, boom, I'm like, oh God
damn. And I was starting to like, Like literally, I'm looking at my children and I'm like, oh, and then I'm like, oh yeah, dude. It is the story of us. It's so beautiful. It's so good. One. I was thinking too, we have to get you on this show to divulge your incredible. For teas, in addition to what we're about to do right now, because you all, haven't got to hear the depths of this woman, and yet you can get access to it anytime on her own show and her Instagram and her website and her resources, which we're going to talk about your shortly.
Um, but I just want people to know the power of your ability to just lean into parents, lean in to family. Um, before we even get started into talking about our experience as a, as a coaching partnership. So thank you for being here. Oh my goodness. My pleasure. Thank you for having me. It's a joy. Okay. So for those who don't know Pam cider, at this point, she is the fruitful families, parenting coach.
She's an expert on all levels. From everything from sleep to raising an adolescent and the difficulty of that. And so, um, not only is that a part of her story, um, but it is a part of her ability to change lives and to change for everyone from the home front. And so I've had the blessing to work with this beauty for a couple of years now.
And I would love for people to just hear a bit about what your business and passion was like when we first met to where you are today. Yes. Oh my gosh. How do I summarize this growth? People were asking me, I just went on a retreat with Tamra friends. And if it's not something that you've experienced in the past, we could do a whole podcast on why you need to experience it in the future.
And we probably should. But people, you know, we're asking, when did you first meet Tamra? When did you know? I was like, you know what? I really don't know, because I feel like I've known her my entire life. Like she's my soul sister that I think so many of us that coach with you feel that way. Um, so journey.
Well, I, I met Tamra, um, when I was only a like budding sleep coach, I knew that I wanted to help moms. I knew that I wanted to be able to sit with them and beside them and how hard it is to have a new baby, um, or an additional baby or a toddler. What is keeping you up all night? Um, And knew that I couldn't do that.
I had no business experience. Um, I could rock the coaching realm. I could rock the pastoral realm, um, all glory to God, not me. Um, but when it came to business, I was like, what is this KPI piece? Like, what is, um, just all of the things, even, you know, launching a podcast, copy how many emails should be in an email sequence?
I mean, To those of us, especially who are like in the pastoral coaching realm. That is not English. Yeah. No, it's not. And there's so many acronyms all the time. And so it's not ever, and I always want people to realize this. It's never too. Supersede the person who's coming in to just learn it's it becomes so second nature when it's what you're talking about and learning about all the time that you actually are speaking Ebonics, which is what Ashley said early on or a mastermind call.
And I started laughing because I'm like, do you remember when. I speak pig Latin and it was fun to do and even get to try it right now on the show. But I hope everybody pauses and tries to say is pig Latin. Do you remember how to do it for him? That'd be like, it'd be like, let's see it. Yay on cast pay.
So it really does become like that. And so it's, it's not only an integration of what language are you speaking? So it's teaching another language, but it's also. Exploring their passion in the midst of that. And unlocking like little doors inside of their mind to recognize that they are more than capable.
Yeah. And I just remember reaching out to you. I had prayed and prayed. I remember there was a night that I'd like hit my knees to the floor and said, I know this is my calling. You've made it so clear, but I don't know how to get there. I don't know how to take this thing. You've given me. And you know, at that point COVID had, I believe just.
And so I really had to be able to do it digitally. There was no like stepping into a church and making it happen, or, um, and I remember just praying, like, if this is something you want to happen, I need the people I need the help. And lo and behold on my computer, the next morning pops up Tamra on a YouTube ad and I'm like, okay, God, all right.
And you know, what's so funny about that. I never ran YouTube. Well, it had to be some kind of Instagram, something I might have, like, not in 2020, I have not run ads. And you said this before, and I was always like, how did that happen? What's the video it's so God, it wasn't paid. That's the interesting thing.
I'll have to go back and find it because it's just another cool piece of the story is well, so when I talked to Tim Ray, Immediately. I was like, this is something I have to make happen. Um, and we can talk about that a little later. If that's something you want to talk about just like making coaching happen, it does not happen organically.
Um, but so, uh, I was just in a place where I was so clear on my calling and so lost in how to do it. And there is like, that is a not fun space because you're. God's like fueled you with this fire and it's got to come out of you. And you're like, where, how, um, and so Tamar just immediately, I mean, it was immediate steps of like, this is what I want you to do first.
This is what I want you to do second. And I would stay up. I put my kids to bed at night and my husband would be like, it's midnight. What are you doing? And I'd be like Tambora homework. Oh my gosh. I would love to meet all of the spouses of my club. Like your, the person you're the crazy version. I never, I am not a workhorse, but I know the possibility.
And I know when someone has that fire, like you had, so, uh, so abundantly the, I was just like uncapped. And it was like, so cool to watch happen. Um, but I have had some really funny run-ins with spouses who I can only imagine your, I had the shoe and mouth one, which was one of my favorites where he was like, I apologize for giving you a hard time at the forefront.
Yeah, literally change the dynamic of our family. And that was a really, really good one, but there's definitely been the one of like, you're not paying her until I know exactly what she does. Oh yeah. All of us, female coaches run into that. Oh yeah. So funny. It's so, so funny. So keep going. Yeah. So, and I mean, speaking of that, even like.
It was so nice. One of the things to watch out there might be tears. Tamra knows that I do lots of tears. So, and so does anyone who knows me, but, um, one of the things that, that Tamar repeated to me just these past two weeks was like, I believe in you and my husband thought I was cuckoo. My family thought I was cuckoo.
They were like, what are you doing? Coaching? What? And Tamra's just able to look you in the eyes. She just like looked at me, you know, through the computer. You could do this, you know, and it was like, okay, all right. So, um, you know, just the step-by-step pieces of like, this is how you set this up. This is a welcome sequence.
This is, um, you know, just all the pieces that I needed to make sure that those people, that I was coaching felt really loved. It wasn't even necessarily like the business dynamics piece. It was more like, how do I set this up? So these people are cared for really well, you know, so such a good perspective this past weekend, I was at a mastermind in Arizona and they were talking about like, if you scrape away all of the tactics and the jargon and all of those things, what exactly are you looking to do?
And ultimately it's to create connection and it's to create intimate. And whether that connection and intimacy is with yourself, it's more so with the mission and the concept, but ultimately for us, it's that knowing that it is stemming to God, because every business that I've helped cultivate has that component of faith associated to it.
And that's the biggest blessing of all. And so if, if the answer is love because he is love, then. Who really cares about all of the other pieces, if it's not effectively attributing love on every point of the spectrum. Yes, absolutely. And that was another integral piece for me. I, there was. There were so many opportunities for business coaching.
I mean, they're everywhere, right? They pop up on Instagram every five seconds, but Tamra gets it. She, the fact that you totally, I mean, you could understand on every realm on the, is, does this mean I'm choosing my business over my family? Does this mean, um, what in the world is the concept of balance? Look like in all of this, it's so much more than even just the KPIs and the welcome sequences.
It's the, um, You know, how can we make this a mission? How can we make this a ministry? I should say that. And Tamra, you helped completely flipped on its head. My idea, I really believed had the mindset that ministry could not be paid. You couldn't be doing ministry and. They just couldn't go together. And I think that was like such a valuable in my first few months of like launching, had I not had that, that probably would have been the end of me and families coaching.
I'm going, I'm literally over here, grinning ear to ear while I'm listening to you, because it's the unlock that so many people need and we've just never been positioned to believe. We've never been taught. Even it's never really been displayed or exampled or spoken to in that realm. It's either free and you love God or paid and you're greedy.
It's not the truth, right? Like gratitude is in both spaces. And therefore God is in both spaces. Giving exists in both spaces and therefore God exists in both spaces. It's about the heart set of the human and not the way that they're cultivating engagement, because I know many churches who op every church by the way, operates as a.
They have to, they have an organizational chart, they have a, a funding chart. They have financials, they have accounting, they've got management, they have HR, all of it is a business. And so it's just been a plague honestly, to be perceived as is, this is good and this is bad. And so for us to stand up and to know that the, our hearts are for him.
And our hearts are for the people that we're serving and ultimately for what you're doing, our hearts are for healing, families and family units that there's no bad in that it's all good. And therefore God will bless that. Goodness. And yeah. And how much greater, you know, it was so eye opening for me. I cannot remember how you said it because your words are always so much more beautiful than mine, but it was something along the lines of, you know, what will you do with that?
And I was like, I will help more families. And you said that, and where's the bed that, you know, and I will donate. And I hope to, you know, we talked about building a nonprofit and an organization that would help foster parents. And I thought, I want that. I want that. Like, it's not, it doesn't come down to the financials, to the money piece.
It comes down to what can be done with that. Like what can we give with that? And I, for me that was like, and still to this day, Is why I do what I do. Yeah. Multiplying. That's how you can raise prices. That's how you can honor the valuation of your time associated to what you're giving up to be here and to be in this seat and to be with that client.
And it is our families, right? It is our spouses. It is the other things that we're also passionate about, which is something I'm rolling. Excited. Cause I think you've really tapped into infusing all parts of self into what you do. So when you show up to what you do, you don't feel as if you are a segmented version of yourself, you're your everything all at once.
So talk to people about that concept of like infusing your passions and joys and hobbies into a space that is also your. Yeah, I was actually, this is hysterical. I was just on a call with someone talking about this, um, and living in authenticity and embodiment like in, and she was so wise too, and saying like, you know, we need to embody these things.
This isn't something we do on the side as a business. This is when we step into this scary entrepreneur space. That means sacrificing so much. Um, we do it before. Like we live it, we breathe it, we sleep it. I know Tamra and I both wake up at three in the morning, like hearing the voice that the Lord, like this is what needs to happen today.
Um, so yeah, I think one of the biggest blessings of what I do personally, I get to live it every day I get to be the parents that honors my children by loving them the way the father loves me. I get to be the parent that lives through the tantrums and the bedwetting and the, all of the things that you know, can trigger us as parents.
Hmm. And trigger those stories that we are not enough, or we don't know how to do it, or that we need to be the way our parents were or there's no other way. Um, so getting to show up that way and learning from those experiences and bringing them to my coaching, it all just comes full circle. We are what we do.
We do what we are because we are his, and because we are living on mission, um, it's just. It's beautiful. You said that's you said that so beautifully and poetically. Talk about me having good words. And I think that Tamra is such a good piece though, of, of not. Understanding that it's not what we do. It's who we are and who we are, becomes the sold out ability for us to serve.
Not because we're selling, but because this is who we are. This is who God has made us divinely to serve the family of heaven. You're on earth as it is. Right. And so if we could stand in, like, I'm just imagining this huge circle and we're all like hand in hand, it's very kumbaya, but I am just having this vision of like, we're all engulfed in situations, perhaps problems, uh, turmoil, trials, and also just living beautiful components of life and abundance.
And at, in any given moment I could use support in. I could use support in finances. I could use support in family dynamics. I could use support in better communication. I could use support in how to write this next book. I could use support all the time and what, for some reason, our society. To do is we like to create stagnancy in our own life with all of these excuses, all of these limiting beliefs, one rejecting the person across the circle because of how they look, how they act, how much they charge.
And then we go back to the idea of back to the drawing board. And it's completely blank because you don't know how to do it. God made us to serve one another. That's right, right. That's right. I think w with what you do specifically, and one of the reasons I've been so passionate about coaching you is because you do something that every single person needs, whether you are a parent, you are going to be a parent or you've been parented.
You're your tactics or strategies. The information that you have are critical because it's that inside out job, rather than that checklist. Absolutely. And it's just like you were just saying it's, it's embodying that it's learning that it's always a process. It's we are never where we are supposed to be until we were in heaven.
You know, like we are just constantly learning and I just, the, the understanding that all of us are still figuring out what unconditional love looks. What that looks like with God, what it looks like that he literally sent his son to die for us, like figuring that out and really like. Having the space for that so that we can love others in that same way.
Oh gosh, it's a process. Um, and it requires so much unlearning of what we have learned love looks like, and not to anyone's fault, you know what just everyone's doing the best they can. Our parents did the best they could. Um, but now knowing what we know to, um, to just help children receive that the relationships that they will then have with Christ my.
Blowing mind blowing. So yeah, so much richness. And it's a parent and the people that you've helped. And so wanting more people to come into that space and also understanding from like the business development perspective as you, your dream and your vision is massive already. So now it's just equipping you to be able to hold that magnitude as God blesses you with it.
And that's like my biggest role, even today, we're having this whole like massive mapping session of. What does it look like when you have an acquisition of this many people at this given time and this much money at this given time, is there a plan of action? And I think that you, in that process of unlearning that a business is about your social media presence.
And maybe that your business is about, I have a website. They should convert where it come. One, come all, I have a website, right? Like that's not how this works. So tell them like one of your biggest breakthroughs or perhaps one of the tools that you just keep at your right hand all the time. From what we've learned.
I know it's all the things over two years now. So. It's like, how do I pick one? But you know what? I actually can answer that pretty easily because I like literally have it right here, pasted onto my desk. I keep it there all the time. Really it's, Tamara's taken smart goals. She's turned them into smartest goals and she, you know, from the moment I stepped into all of this, it wasn't just, what are your business goals?
How do we get you there? Push, push, push. It was. Where's your family, where else are you needed? How are you serving? Will this serve you to serve them? Um, so this just embodiment of like this, you know, the piece of, you know, evaluating where you are in your life at this present moment and who else needs you.
And are you embodying who you want to embody? While you're setting these goals because for me it was always, um, and, and, or it could never be a both ant. And with you helping me to set goals in that way, I was able to do the both, and like, I can be the really present, loving, capable mom, and be the really present loving entrepreneur and coach.
I can be the boat. It's just a matter of, you know, mapping. Things out in that manner and making sure that I'm honoring both spaces. I think that that for me was so much release. It was so much, I can't be all the things is what I used to say. That's the lie. I tell myself all the time, I can't be all the things.
And that's because it's not necessarily a lineup because we're not supposed to be all the things. God is all the things, but it's, it's you allowing me that space to say, Lord, where do you want me today? Where do you want me in this moment? And wherever that. I'll be there because it's not on my smart goal for the day or not in my time block.
That's okay. That's okay. Like I'm open to that where you giving me. And I think for myself, like having mentors, um, in order to be a conduit of that information to you all and constantly funneling that information and what I'm learning and practicing, right? Like I can't teach what I don't practice. And it's funny.
Cause oftentimes I'll say something and if Morgan who works with me is in the room or another team member, even my husband, he's like, when's the last time you said that to yourself. And I'm like, oh, don't I know I don't. Right. So as a mom and as a parent coach from both angles, right? We don't do what we know all the time because we get into habitual ritual of this is okay, this is normal, but.
So much information in our brain and in our heart that we want to just share and shed light too. And so my hope and heart is to always create an ability, whether it's through strategy or through exampling, to be able to give that to the partners that I get to choose that's. And my partners are my clients you'll hear clients because that makes sense, but really I'm partnering with you in creating and co-creating what God has put in your life.
It really has been an honor. And I hate that I have a hard stop at five for us to keep going, but I love you immensely. I want everyone to get involved with everything that she has going on. Fruitful families, coaching on Instagram for a podcast, and you're going to see a lot more a fan. We've got some things in the work behind the scenes, and I'm excited for it to launch.
I love you Tamra and truly like I'm I, you are my favorite. That's true. It's true. Fit in faith, family. Y'all thanks for being.
The most powerful thing you can do to unlock your greatness and step into your next level of abundance is to get in the room with others who have been where you want to be, and perhaps are going where you want to go. But oftentimes we can put ourselves in the wrong room based on exterior vantage points, but they were where they'd go, what they do when we know in our heart of hearts, that we should be following people, standing along people who are alive.
True. Well, stop feeling alone in the journey of growth as a business leader and an entrepreneur who loves God, stop struggling to find the right answer. When it's already been written, stop giving up on the desires of your heart when God placed them there with intention, stop standing in this lack mentality.
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But you've got gotta be in the room. IRL. Let's go.
Hey, y'all it's me again. Before you go, let's solidify the flame that was ignited within you today by sharing the spark with your own community, whether it's mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, I would love for you to take the step right now by declaring your takeaway, snap, a pic of the episode and share it on your stories.
And you can tag me and the guest and we will surely feature you on our end, says, Hey, you might even unlock a new accountability buddy in me or them. We're totally in this together. And we appreciate the extra step taken. I would be so grateful if you even took the extra step, come on and give you that extra size and leave a review on iTunes.
For the podcast listening app that is of your choice. I'm going to be featuring your thoughts in fact, and this will be so fun and upcoming episodes. So you'll not only hear your name on the show, but maybe even your passion project or whatever, big shout out you want me to make. So please, as a fellow writer, leave some words that I can attest to.
And I can't wait to read what you have to say. Thanks again for being a loyal listener. And I hope to meet you in person soon at one of the events that. Speaking at or hosting. And I say we, because the fit and bake team could not do this without you until next time blessings over your joy, health, wealth, and wholeness.
This is a fit faith way. .