The Head of Happiness with Alice Edgerton
I have a little nugget of info that you can use at the dinner convo today – the #1 current google word right now…can you guess?
Could you use a little more happy right now? How about joy? How about unspeakable joy? That is surely what I want!
So today’s podcast guest gave us this insight and instead of just leaving us dry she talked to us about fulfillment and she has a ministry called Fulfilled After 50 and y’all know I’m not 50, but I’m totally touched and enamored by everything you said!
You have to tune in if you’re a mom or not a mom. If you’re a health advocate or not. Or a 9 to 5’er or in the grind of the American Dream. I think you should tune in if you’re in the beginning stages of something new, middle or end of something new. If you’re in a place of burnout, depression or anxiety or overwhelm. Fulfillment!
Fulfillment that Alice shares about that begins from within. And she unpacked the most beautiful 5 things that you can do right now today to seek and find that joy. That happiness that so many people want. And guess what? It’s so achievable! It’s taking it back to the basics!
These 5 things are filled with so much good stuff and it doesn’t matter if fulfilled after 50 is your mantra or not, they are 100% applicable to her millennial children (that’s some of you!) and our own littles we are raising right now. It touched my soul!
The quick token of advice it starts from within, it starts in the head. Stay tuned…she blew my mind. It felt like she was on stage and I know in my heart of hearts He is getting the glory out of this one!
Alice Edgerton is a life coach to the midlife woman who is searching for the calling God already has placed in her but cannot pull it out. She leads women in this season of life through a community of other Christian women who share their life experiences, encouragement as we fill each other’s buckets up.
Connect with Alice!
Show Notes: The Head of Happiness
Hey, thanks for tuning in. As always, I have a little negative info that you can use at the dinner conversation later today, and it is the number one… The current Google word right now, can you guess… Put a little thought in your head. It’s happiness. Could you use a little more happy right now?
How about joy?
How about unspeakable joy?
That is surely what I want. And so today’s podcast guest, she gave us the info, she gave us this insight, and instead of just leaving us kind of dry and to handed on that, she had talked about fulfillment.
And she has a ministry called fulfilled after 50. and y’all, you notice, and I’m totally in touch, totally enamored by everything that she said, You have to tune in, you have to tune in if you are a mom, and if you’re not a mom, you have to tune in if you are a health advocate or not… You have to tune in if you are a nine to five and just in the grind of the American Dream, I think we should tune in to this episode, if you’re at the beginning stages of something new, in the middle or at the end… If you’re in a place of burnout, if you’re in a place of depression or anxiety or overwhelmed, fulfill it, fulfillment that all shares about, it begins from within. And she unpacked the most beautiful five things that you can do right now today to seek and cultivate that joy, that happiness that people so desperately want. And it’s so achievable. That’s the best part.
Ultimately, it’s just… It’s taking it back to the basics. You guys, and you might have heard this before, but these five things are filled with so much stop and it doesn’t matter, it fulfilled after 50 is not your mantra, if it doesn’t speak to you or not, because these five things are 100% applicable to her millennial children, it’s advice to our own children, the littles that we are raising right now in the midst of everything, and honestly it touched my soul, I’m right in the middle of everything that she unpacked, and if I could give you a little bit of token of advice, it starts from within. Is it starts with the head and any of that speaks to you. Stay tuned for all Anderson, she… In my mind, I felt like she was on stage as she was sharing, and she did it such justice and I know. I know, I know, I know was my heart of hearts that he is getting a more in this one.
This is your Godwin.
The moment that heaven says, for such a time as this, It’s time to own your joy, prioritize your health, discover your wealth and exude your wholeness, it’s time to become truly fit.
However, this isn’t a fitness podcast, though I’m a retired personal trainer and a nutritionist, this is in business jargon or tips and tricks to Landing Your successful fashion project. No, that’s totally why I’m a business coach. This isn’t a quick fix health detox ploy though, I’m all for therapy and I love who foods… I do have a yellow since me too, so this isn’t confusing. Religious banter? No, I’m an ordained minister, still figuring out the many things and facets and faces of Jesus… It’s really none of that. So I’m wondering if you’re wondering what is this… Well, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shakers as we explore and share our messy comeback stories and discoveries with teaching fellow passionate speakers, the fit-based movement was Bird through my own trial and error discovery of mind, body and soul alignment, and to be totally transparent, my own entrepreneurial Brasher experiences, I’ve learned first-hand that being fit isn’t about AR-physic at all, it’s not about our qualifying abilities or titles, it’s not about our potential, it’s truly about our God-gifted passions. Meeting our purpose.
You are one step away from achieving your idea, your dream, your call and your purpose, whatever you wanna call it, and I wanna be there for the moment that you say yes, and freedom, clarity and confidence that you are living fully fit and do. And who you are made to be. Welcome to the Fitbit podcast with me, Tamara and dress. There is no better time than now to get it. Hey, you guys are so excited to be in studio today with Alice, it’s going to be amazing, it’s so nice to actually be in person with people…
I know this used to be… So the first year that I have the podcast only in person, I would not do anyone who was not here sitting at this very table on, and then January hit and I decided I’m gonna have other people on, we’re gonna do this virtual experience and then covid… So God laid it on my heart before he subjected me to this situation, so luckily my control nature self was okay, but I am really glad that you’re here today, she traveled from your town to come and visit, and funny enough, we actually connected in Texas.
It was it to… No, Charlotte, no.
Where were we? Charles to Carson, South Carolina. Gosh, this is how many conferences I go to…
Okay, I don’t even know where I’m at on the map.
Literally on the other side, in Charleston last November and racehorses Rise conference, I know the name and the plot and aware of it, no place I sometimes I’m like that now. I asked my husband, he’s like, Where are you? I’m like, I’m not sure.
I’m not Stateside lost off that I have no directional sense whatsoever, it’s literally just a part of my life, but let me introduce you to this lovely woman, ’cause you guys don’t know her, and I’m so glad that this is something new for you all, and so ALICE she… Oh gosh, I don’t know, I have enough fun things to say First off, she’s a fashion set, if you can’t see her outfit because you’re listening to the podcast, you have to go back and watch the replay and replay Alice’s outfit is so good, I need it. I don’t often feel under-dressed in today, I do on my very own show, I’m not sure how I feel about it, but she has a ministry, she has a heart for women, and ultimately I’m excited for… To unpack that for you, she has a book that I have bought from my own mommy called fulfilled after 50, and I have so many friends in that mid-life realm, and I just am so happy that you are here to help speak into them because it’s just a different time, and I went through what I call a quarter life crisis praying, I don’t go through a mid-life crisis because I went through it already, but just like we’re gonna unpack all the things, so tune in. enjoy today’s episode, and Alice, how about you take the floor for a second and give us a bit of your bio statement, tell us who you are, where you come from, all the things I thank you so much for having me, Tamara, just so appreciate being here with your audience, and a little bit about me, I’ll lead into my bio as I help the midlife woman who has really lost what her purpose and her calling is that God has already placed in her heart, but she doesn’t know how to discover it, how to unwrap it, and because sometimes, you know, we are the sacrificial lambs and we are on the back burner, and so we don’t always know what we’re truly called for, and when we have children, that purpose was for me in my life at that time, and I know a lot of women in the mid-season that… Some women will say, Well, we’re not supposed to get wrapped up in our kid’s life, but sometimes when they are involved in extra-curricular activities or when they are doing a lot of things, their life does become our life and their community becomes our community. That’s so true. And so, where my story actually begins, as I was that mom who lived on the baseball field from five years old to 20 years old, and he went on to play collegiate baseball, then I have a daughter who I lived the pageant circuit with…
Oh, that’s a thing in a new tattoo time jobs basically.
Yeah, and she did a competitive terse layered it all in. Yes, yes.
Was all over the map with them, but that was my purpose, and that’s what I know that God had called me for. At that time, yeah.
And so what happened was, my daughter, she left for college, went to jail in the having action, man, when she left… This is a funny story. Okay, so I drove away. And she called me up after I drove away. She’s like, Mom, I’m like, Really? I said, I’m like, What are you upset about? She’s like, Well, I’m sad you’re not crying in right now.
So a, Sorbonne are able to train our kids the way that they are to go right at it.
Tall, the skills. She was good at that. So funny, so then two years later comes and it’s time for her brother to leave and he goes in the opposite direction and he goes to East Carolina University, and so I had to tell you that was a different experience, and when I dropped him off, that’s when those crocodile tears came.
I bet I could eat. It was two things. For one, I could not see myself going home on empty house, I could not see myself pin a quiet space where some kid was not running through the door looking for something to eat, whereas my baseball uniform and all their friends fly in through the door, it all… Stopped like a role.
And so when you are involved in your kids in that season, when their community, when they go, their community goes… If that makes sense.
Yeah, totally, yeah.
Which is the community you affiliated to… Yes, so not only have you lost your babies and the babies who were their friends, you’ve lost their parents and everything… Yeah, interesting. I never thought about it from that perspective, yes.
So then now I’m 55 now, so that was really when I was 58. and so then where do you go as a 50-year-old to try to find that friendship, and you can go to church and you can find it in your church, but where is like that sisterhood. And really that’s how I classify fulfilled after 50 now, is that sisterhood, that community, because really that’s what we all crave is that community, but my community is wrapped around the Christian woman. Because your vibe attracts your tribe. And if you don’t have the same fake ID, if you don’t have the same morals, basically you’re gonna be repelled by what we stand for, and that’s okay, because God’s gonna bring in who’s called into this community.
Yeah, it’s good.
And you have people over here preach, and I hear you, sister is the hardest time ever.
I remember my mom leaving and we were both in tears and she still had a baby, but I was the baby girl, so I think that there was like… And she was too. So it’s like a comparison. But she was my best friend and she was crying probably ’cause I was just a complete and utter mess versus being like, Okay, mom, love you, and hoping for her to cry Holton leave me here. I had the hardest first year of school, just it was so different and I missed like the normalcy and the comfortability and because I was so achievement-driven at that age, and I went from being known and everyone in my school knew who I was and all the parents and the teachers and the principal, and then I went to a university where you’re a number like they don’t care who you are, they know that you got accepted, they’re grateful that you’re in to do… But you’re nobody and you have to completely re-establish yourself, so it’s similar, even though we are obviously different seasons looking at this from different perspectives, but have you and your daughter ever had a conversation about how she felt that her community was gone to… Yes, we have, yeah, yeah, yeah. ’cause that has come up sometimes, but it’s true. So use the reestablish yet.
I think the way that you get… You got and get to re-establish is very different than how it happened in school, obviously, you’re kind of forced into a sisterhood or a brotherhood based on whether you literally join a fraternity or a sorority, or just the people… But they’re all the same age. They’re kind of all going through the same thing.
So is that how yours was… Do you feel like a lot of the women coming to you, it’s because this transition, this one transition of the kids are out of the nest, or is it a multitude of things, it’s a multi.
Taoiseach is the transition of them coming out of the US, but… It hits you hard. Yeah, and so what is your identity now and because we forget… Yeah, we were a person before we were a mom, and who was that person? And how do we get back to knowing what we loved, what is special about us, what we have to offer, because we are all called by God with unique gifts and talents, none of us have the same fingerprints on our thumbs or our fingers… Okay, so we all have different gifts and talents, and I think as women, sometimes we go down that comparison trap and… So one morning when I woke up, I didn’t have any purpose at all, and when your body goes under a… I would say like a sudden stress or when something comes upon you, suddenly your body reacts differently.
And for me, I was 50. so what happened was, I got thrown into menopause really early, ’cause I was really stressed, and I was lonely, and I can tell you I have never suffered from depression. And it hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t wanna get up out of bed in the morning because I didn’t know what I was getting out for.
And so then I had debilitating headaches that started to count, and it was just stress. Preston is not really knowing. What am I here for now? And I went to my regular physician, I just need to run a blood test on me to see if I am in menopause, she’s like, No, all it’s… You’re way too young. I’m like, Well, I need to go see a neurologist.
Yasmine, Yeoman, some other… She’s like, Your fall blog, menopause. I said, Okay, great, I know how to handle it.
Knowing what it is, Emma is a two-time cancer survivor, so I’m always a holistic route, whether that’s your thing or not, so I know that God has equipped our body to heal itself, and how do you do that is through a lot of tools that he gives us, and it’s how to use that, and basically that’s how fulfilled after 50 came about is during that process, my husband is a custom home builder, and we have a pitbull dog, her name is Roxy moves 10 and a half now. But about five years ago when I was… Started going through all of this. One morning, he got up and he started to go on a job site. And so the dog went out with him and got in the truck like she normally does, but she didn’t do her normal thing, and her normal thing is her head out the window, her tag… Talents morning was different. And this morning, she laid her head on his little consult just like this the whole way.
Yeah, and about five minutes down the road, he’s like, Oh gosh, my shoulder, Pelly, it’s not… It hurts like I must have slept on it wrong, and he had a team going down his shoulder, then he got about five minutes more down the road, and he had a tightness come up over his chest, and he got to the stop light and he looked over at our dog, and they locked eyes with each other, and he had a feeling come over him that he’s never had in his entire life, and he looked at her and he’s like Something wrong with me, and she never, ever lost sight of his eyes and he turned around and he dropped off the dog at the house where I was in the shower… Wow. And Roxy sat at that shower door till I got out, she’s never done this before, I never done it sense, but she knew if I saw her, she knew he was back. That she wasn’t supposed to be home.
So I picked up the phone and I text him. I like what? Immediately, do you think, right?
It’s a OCD, she throw up in the rethinking about the moon.
He immediately called me. He says, I think I’m having a heart attack. I’m walking into the emergency room, I said I was at home. He’s like, I didn’t wanna bother you. Such a guy.
To hottest guy thing.
Oh my gosh, I Theodore, yes, I… So he was having a major event and it was in his widow maker, and her doctor said, if you had gone, I’ll going to the job site, your wife would not have you today.
So from that day, he had a stamp place in his heart and that… Her doctor looked at me and he says, You need to change your lifestyle. Both, you need to change your lifestyle. And so your husband’s gonna be here a couple of days, so I want you to go get that Mediterranean diet cookbook… Wow.
And go live by it.
So I did, I left and I went and got that book right away, and so we started living our lifestyle by the… We dropped 50 pounds. Basically, just feeding your body healing foods, and I will call them healing is because in turn of what happened, he really saved my life because when he… ’cause you were in that depression state and anxiety, but then one, you’ve got purpose because you became his caretaker… Yes, and then you had a purpose like, Okay, we’ve gotta get our lives… Staff on track?
Wow, it’s like really like twisted thought, to think of it from the perspective that God had this plan for you, and of course it was for your husband too, but I’m in all your puzzle pieces of line that…
Samir aulus, yes. And not to change, but a side note to the two, I have a subscription box service, and we open up the… To one of my box is not the one I gave you today. The other one says, Life doesn’t happen to you. It happens for her. Yeah, that’s so true.
And so when our lifestyle changed at home in the kitchen, it changed my hormones and I changed my chemistry, my body was repairing itself from being thrown in a menopause, I was learning how to control the headaches, the hot flashes, all of that, and turn changed my mood. And just working on myself. So from working on that, and I just really started diving into the word more and learning the tools that I’ve known all my life, but guys, when we get in our comfort zone, sometimes all that goes out the window, it’s so true, and we forget about some of the most important things in life, and from fulfilled after 50 star lead in life, women’s retreats, and where I just bring in about 10 women and pour into them all we can long… And so a lot of the things that we deal with and fulfilled after 50 and in the season of life, but it’s not only this season of life, ’cause I wanna give you an example, a… No, I totally hear you.
When you guys have kids and stuff, let me tell you, they watch you, they watch every move, you mean while they’re in the host, while they’re out of the house, and so happiness is a big subject, and happiness is the most Googled word there is right now, there are so many facts on how do you get… And achieve happiness. Yeah, so my son is 25 years old, and I haven’t told Tamora the story gap, but this is really one of the main subjects I wanna get across to you on this podcast, so he proposed to his girlfriend after four years… I’m a moral day weekend, a graduation, that’s the fun, that’s not…
Oh, so two weeks ago.
She decides, it’s not right.
Okay, okay. And so this is where I want everybody to understand from one, that when you’re looking for external happiness, you’re gonna be searching for your whole life, and a lot of this came about for me also as watching Kate Spade, and if you remember when Kate took her life, she had everything, everyone materialistic thing, you can imagine the House, cars, jewelry, just every kind of external monetary thing you can have. But that doesn’t fulfill you.
And so in turn, so this just happened about two weeks ago, and I’ll tell you, we never, ever stop praying for our kids, and no matter when they’re born till adults, we never stop praying for our kids because things are out of our control, guys, like we carry… Every single burden, every single heart, what they feel, you feel, and we have to give that up and release it and say, God, this is yours, ’cause I don’t have control over… You don’t have control of the weather, you don’t have control of politics, we don’t have control of circumstances of our world, the one thing you have control of guys is right here, your mind and your thoughts… That’s the only thing that you can control.
And so Joshua has come home, he lives in rolling, North Carolina, so he has come on for the weekend because for one, he really, really needed to understand how to get back to the basics that he’s seen his mom teach for the last five years.
Wow. And when my daughter got married two years ago, there was like, it’s something that happened with the wedding venues and planners or whatever, and we’re run down the Commissariat, we’ve got the shirt and she worked, she’s like… Or not the mom, I grew up with that.
So I… Another, the Padma, and now it’s a different page, it… It’s all for the Lord, that’s so good.
So you know that God is using you and calling you for a higher purpose To everything changes in your life.
Wow. And so I just wanted to give you a couple of five tips that I came with for the podcast and I… I’m taking notes over here. You all, I’m not talking or sharing, I’m just like really engrossed.
Okay, so I want the five tabs, but how you do it, I’ve got people on here, they’re like ready to… Do you feel like you’ve been sitting on the dream God has given you for far too long, do you feel out of alignment or obedience because of it, or perhaps you’ve been spinning your wheels on how to answer God’s call, but can’t quite define or design it into a business, maybe you’ve titled this god dream of ministry, one, you wholeheartedly give all of your time and energy to get your passion isn’t providing the profit you need to stay in your home. Your first ministry, do you struggle with the idea of earning money doing something you believe he want you to do in servant hood?
Do you feel unworthy as a woman who as well, I get it. I’ve been in every one of those shoes, and I can promise you the moment I traded those worn out sandals for his intended comfort, I was able to finally walk the Miles has taken to grow the dream, from ideation to activation, catapult my true passions into my full purpose, and now… Well, I’ve had a joyetech, many women over the past couple of years in a group setting, I still sense there are missing straps to their well-made shoes, so I design this course, the god dream design course, to walk alongside you intimately until you’ve claimed the gift of the shoes he has always wanted for it, you’re probably wondering if this is the sure fire way to claim your roots and discover your wanes as a kingdom enter. Why are we talking about shoes?
Well, these aren’t NIS, they aren’t eases, whatever the kids call them these days, and I am not giving you sandals like Hermes either. God’s shoes truly fly. God shows have limitless souls that never wear down, they are promised to get you where He has shown you that you were intended to be, so come along for the Y, get out of that stuck analysis for houses of limitation and develop the mindsets, methods and models to bring to life the vision he has planned for you before you knit in your mother’s womb, sign up today for your self-paced program where I will actually provide you live coaching a community and women to walk this journey alongside a package of goodies right at your door step and many more incredible deliverables, you can find all of the details on my side at Amanda dot com, don’t forget, Tamara, T-A-M-R-A, I got the good version. Thanks, Mom.
Be really girls. It’s time to fly. I promise it to spring as it sounds, case always talk about being positive, right?
Yeah, we can… Because positive, it was on, but sometimes guys are humans, and as long as we keep striving for perfection, but we’ll never get perfect, ’cause we all really know there’s only one person here that’s perfect and that’s God, right.
We can strive to do our best, but we’ll never reach perfection, and so I told Josh, but there’s five things really that you need to understand, and for one, the number one is that you know a person doesn’t make you happy. If you’re looking for that person to come into your life to make you happy. It’s not gonna work if you’re looking for that money because he always always thought the most money he got would make him happy, well, he’s in that place, now he’s in a six-figure job, and he had this girl and all this guys… Does not bring you happiness, or you know why? ’cause he hasn’t fulfilled what is inside of him, and it has been a process, and in the struggle and in the pit, you cannot see sometimes the things that you need to do in yourself.
And so that’s why God brings people into your life to help you. Just like there’s coaches out there, there’s counselors or pastors, but no matter how old you are and Tamara now, talk about this is… You always need a coach.
Yeah, okay. Always through life, I pay from coaches for my kids and baseball Passant or whatever, I pay for a coach for myself now, I think through a coach for business, I pay for a coach to counsel me, to just bring more of the godly word and to me… Because we don’t know it all, and so we always need somebody else to up-level your good… So there’s a Jim round, he has a quote, you are the sum of five people that you surround yourself with, as I encourage you is to look into your circle, who are your top five people that you are surrounded with, and are they making you a better person? Than you were… And so that was my words to Joshua, it’s like when you look for a partner, mature, you’re equally you some time for a life-long partner because you’ll struggle, and if you are outgrowing that person, you’re gonna struggle, so you either grow it together or you’re gonna always try to reach up to their level, so number one tip is to look inside of you, first, you cannot get anything externally, it’s like… I’ll give you analogy, let’s say like you’re bored in the afternoon, or your board at night, what do you do? You go to the pantry Attar, then if you continue the board, I’ve been weighing on day and then you might put on Netflix, so you’re always looking to fill that Ford with a distraction. That’s good. And so we want to look inside, Okay, what are you suppressing?
So that’s the first thing. Write it down.
Then the second thing is, I know you guys have heard this, and sometimes it may be morbid, but think about it, take today, as if it was your last day that you left, because we are never guaranteed tomorrow, God can take us… Absolutely. Today, if he chooses to.
So when you get up in the morning, Trek today, as if it may be your last… And what would you do today if it was your last day, would you be kinder, would you show more appreciation, would you have more gratitude? Maybe you have some unforgiveness and you maybe it’s a separate relationship that you may just need to pick up the phone and call and say, Hey, you know our relationship ended. I just wanna say, I’m sorry. And just open your heart to love. Today is if it’s your ass, ’cause it will change the way you view today being more kinder, more appreciative.
I love that. I think another piece to that is the kindness to ourself, yes, because often we could leave the smile for the person at the cash register or open the door for the person behind us, but we’re just… Like you said, the power is here. We are our own worst critics. Are you saying in that bed when you were sitting there depressed for me for my… I have no purpose, I’m not worthy of something better, I’m completely alone, who’s gonna help me like you start getting into this negative self-talk, and that’s the place where you end up on the couch and the Netflix is on, and the ice ream tub is in your hand or for other people, I know chips and she’s listening, so she’s gonna laugh on them to hear that, but to know that those are the places that you end up staying because you’re okay, you’re in the comfort zone of allowing those negative thoughts to be the cycle that you live, yes.
And then therefore, your last day becomes your worst day, and so we have that power and we have the ability to connect to the one who tells us who we are, who gives us that identity factor, who strips us from that, and it starts with being kind to ourselves, ’cause that’s the overflow factor of being around the other people, and that’s the exact reason why that inner circle, those five people are so critical, because if they’re negative self-talking, of course they’re gonna negative self-talk around you to them. It doesn’t even have to be about you. But they’re gonna say, Oh, I’m so fat. What do you guys wanna go for dinner, let’s go to Burger King.
You’re like, Okay, great, that sounds great, but you’re gonna be okay with the fact that you just called yourself that you’re not that… You are not that, you’re not your weight, you are not your body, you’re not any of those things, you are a daughter of the King, most high, you are a princess. Your pageant Crown has been gifted to you before you were in the woods, and so you just have to own it, you have to claim it, so I love that.
So I just wanted to take note of that. Kindness, yes. If it’s here and it’s within that inner circle, you get to give kindness all the time because it’s on overflow, it’s the pace.
So we’ve got number one, the look inside, not number two. Make your last day. Your day-to-day like, make it good?
Yes, exactly right. Number three, ways A notorious just took it ’cause it’s in our own monoid, our own minds and our own thoughts, so it’s like we have 60000 thoughts that circulate throughout the day, believe it or not, 60000 thoughts, how many of those thoughts try to have a negative play in your head, and how are they serving you, they do not serve you in any way, right, it’s how do you replace those negative thoughts, and when you just have a negative thoughts… I was talking in Tamas talk to my daughter before we jumped on here, and automatically she’s got those negative thoughts, today I’m not good enough, I’m not worthy enough to have this, and somebody else is better than me, she’s going in that comparison is like, Well, I’m like, combat it. Right now, so what are you gonna say to combat that negative thought, I am good enough, God has blessed me with skills and talents that I have myself, because you know what guys, the enemy would like nothing more and to rob your joy today, don’t let him be the thief of your joy today, say, not today, say, who are not doing that today? And so we have control over our own mind and pots, but it takes you to physically and mentally like clean that stuff out. I use another analogy, because we have a Careware gotthard, so we have fresh cucumbers, fresh tomatoes, so in order for that garden to flourish, what are we doing, you’re not only reading it, you’re watering it, you’re constantly nurturing it, constantly tending to and the right… Our minds are the same, so you have to nurture it and do it every single day, or those weeds are gonna come in… Is gonna choke it.
Yeah, it’s gonna choke. It is gonna kill it.
Yeah, and it’s interesting that we are talking about the night time rituals of habits that we create, and that’s a part of it, is what type of habits such as, I’m gonna go out and water my garden today, which is free, and you’re taking that forest bath, your feet are in the grass and you’re taking in fresh air versus the person who’s going to say, What are we gonna do with my time right now? I have 30 minutes, I just sit and watch the news.
Is that really infiltrating you with positivity and joy and cries…
My answer is no, you don’t have to answer, but I’ll answer for you. The answer is no.
And so filling our time gaps, which ended up being our habit time, which ended up being the negative spaces that we live in, in the comfort zone is you have to fill it, you have to do what my husband likes to call, which I love to use all the time is the landscape design, you have to design your landscape, you have to design your life your day, this last day that you have right now that you’re living in right now. You have to design it to be the UP most beautiful thing that you could possibly imagine if you want a flourishing garden, you gotta work for it, if you want a specific thing out of life that you feel, and you know that God is providing you this goodness this god dream that he has it been you. If you want that as bad as he’s continuing to implant it into you, you’ve gotta activate that, and so landscape design is all about removing all of that stuff from your pantry, it’s about removing the ability to just click on the news or click on the Netflix literally hide the remote, give it to your child, your three-year-old and hit between the cushions, like Let him hide it so that today, that this last day, this weekend is your last weekend and you’re not sitting on the couch watching TV, and you’re implanting with good and the things that are we being replaced in that pantry that you’re removing of all with the negative toxic things that we’re putting in our body or our mind or our eyes, whatever those things may be, are being replaced with fruitful vegetables, the good. So instead of watching the TV, you’re out in that forest bath, you’re out, it’s spending time with your family, you’re out enjoying your husband on a date night… Yes, and it’s all about how you design your day, you have that power, nobody else, I don’t care what nine to five you show up to, they also don’t have the power there, and so you have to wake up and get out of that bed with purpose and it’s hard to do. We get it, we’ve both been there, but look at us now, and ultimately God gets the glory for that, it has nothing to do in our own night, it’s a process of submission, it’s saying, God, you control what I can’t control, and therefore I humbly submit it all to you, yes.
I submit to you my pantry, I submit to you my TV, and go back to the room, back to the basics, just like your son is looking to do right now, go back to the basics, and how can I build up from here?
Yeah, so that goes into the fourth in…
I’m so good.
I can’t make this up up, y’all, we’re live. Okay, you’re seeing it all in action.
So the more thing that I think some of us forget about is writing down our gravitas and my fulfilled after 50, my Facebook group, I take them through a couple of things, and the first thing is as soon as you wake up in the morning, as you’re just… Not only are you saying five things that you’re grateful for, but they are a power when you come from out of your mind to a pen and paper, so not only are you saying it when you open your eyes, but I have your notebook or your journal on your bed stand and you’re writing it down, because when you fill your mind the first 10 minutes you wake up, it will change the course of your day, ’cause you started off on a positive note, and so this is the fourth point is to write down five things you’re grateful for… And then I’m just gonna play the same ’cause I feel like it can I keep it… And this is… It’s okay. It’s not making noise, I talk with my hands. guy, so I love it.
It’s so good, you guys have to watch this, if you’re listening on the podcast, go back for the live and you’ll see all of the expression of that is all… That I call book ending your day.
I love this.
Okay, so it’s really, really critical guys, that we look in our day, and what I call pretending our day is you’re getting up in the morning, you’re starting with those gratitude, writing them down, and then at the end of the night, before you go to sleep, you got that same journal that’s sitting right there and you’re writing down what could happen today, what touched my life today, what bless my life today, what am I grateful for that happened today? And it’s called looking in your day, you’re going to sleep with a positive mindset, you’re getting up with a positive mindset, that makes it hard for the enemy to come in when you’re booking in your day like that.
That’s so good, sitting a seal on your day and saying like, nobody is getting into this on belongs here and in your heart, and that’s really cool. So that means that you have to create me a journal that has that just beautifully hand letter on the front and says, book in your day, and even on the day that I forget to write it down, it’s yelling at me, right from the time I get up and take my phone off the chart, or I’m calling that out of… Or talking business over here. Now, you know, I have to throw it in there as the Brainerd so beautiful. I think it’s so true in… And when you’re on that mission, when you’re on that mission to find gratitude… That’s fine. Good. You will, he always is present. He shows up at every given turn, every given opportunity, versus when you wake up and my feet hurt and I have to stand on my feet all day for work again, and my hair looks awful, I haven’t gotten it done in five months because of covid… My clothes… Oh, they’re also tight because I’ve been eating so much, you haven’t even got out of your bed with… Okay, you’re in the mirror and you’re in your bedroom still, and you still got 16 hours ahead of you, so imagine how depressing that is the rest of your day, you’re talking like that you’re looking for that you’re thinking about that your husband goes to give you a kiss name, where you’re like, not even in the mood, like what… Wait, hold on. I’m like, Great here, I’m great over here. And so there goes the inner circle, right, there goes the influencer Into your realm, in your atmosphere, and you’ll… I get being married is hard, and you cannot control what is going on in that person’s mind either… Or heart, but you can help. And so if you’re going through this journey and you’re gonna start looking for the good and you’re gonna start finding the points deposit deposit back and say you wanna do something amazing that happen today.
Just give them nuggets, they might be the biggest Gramps-ing on the couch watching their Netflix and hanging out with the platform, and you can just not even indulge, but instead just be like, I have to tell you something it right in front of the TV.
Well, yeah, just don’t even let them look past to you because you have to show up for the people around you, those five people that are in your circle, and you just have to deposit just the same things that are being deposited in you from the Holy Spirit. And Alice, I think, is doing that right in this very moment, so thank you for sharing these nuggets of wisdom are amazing at what you focus on expands, it’s exactly what you’re saying.
Is that the poison? It expands in your mind, so that’s why we come back to control in your mind, you’re not… And then the last one that I’m gonna leave you with is meditation and meditation. I used to think five years ago when somebody told me that word, I always thought of a way because when I say like, I’m going in the word, I’m reading, I’m during meditation. Guys, is what meditation is. It is training your brain to be calm, and that doesn’t come easy, it doesn’t come natural, and it’s really… Both my kids tell me, really, it’s like, Mom, I can’t quit this down here.
Yeah, I said Exactly, because our society, in our world is so chaotic, it’s so busy, there’s so much going on, and before you know it, you’re on social media, you’re scrolling and you’re scrolling, you’re on Instagram, you’re on Twitter, you’re on tiktok, whatever, and you’re on… It’s like it consumes and it takes up space in here and the noise gets overwhelming, so meditation. And so what I’ve noticed is Josh every morning, the last seven days, as he will get up in the morning and he has dogs too, will take them out and he’s like, I’m going to go meditate, is that exactly? And so he takes his meditation and it’s hard for him to quit this down as well, so there’s a lot of YouTube videos out there, guys, there’s an app, it’s called head space, it can take you through two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes, whatever you worked up to, but all meditation is, Is your breathing, just like when you gave birth to your babies, they teach you about that breathing because there is a rhythm with it, and breathing is one of those things that we do unconsciously. You’re not thinking about it, but when you go into a meditation state, you’re into that calm because the only thing that can take up space in here is how am I breathing? And you’re taking those deep breaths in your nose and out through your mouth, and you’re feeling your diaphragm expand, but you’re quiet and you’re quiet in your mind, because God can’t speak to you if you do not be still, and you have to be still in those moments. For him to be able to speak to you, but for you to have the discernment to hear no… So that’s the last tip I have for you. All those tips together. That’s what true happiness and fulfillment is, it lines all within you, but God gives us those tools… That you have to use every single day, and it’s just like a business. It’s just like family. It’s just like marriage. It’s all about consistency. We do it every single day, ’cause it doesn’t come easy, and life’s not easy, and every day is a struggle, like it made to be hard, but guys, it’s in the struggle, that will make you stronger, so… Wow, you guys, I hope your mouth is dropped in your breathing heavy right now, so… Good, Alain credible. I don’t know that I’ve ever had somebody on the podcast, but I just… I don’t need to speak, I could just literally listen to you all day long is incredible, and I know people can book her to do this for you, either one online, in large group settings, virtual setting, the… All the spaces, but I just, I feel so empowered even by those things, and they’re not things for me because I’ve been in this space that I haven’t heard before, but the way that you put them all together and how it correlates to your story, it has so much death and so much richness, and I love that you started the conversation saying that you discovered all of this when your kids left home… Yes, you book-ended it, and you might not have noticed this, but you look into it when your babies were born, when you were giving birth, and so the beginning of that story, that preparation for motherhood is the very thing that you needed when they left that breathing sound good.
That just, it was such a beautiful imagery that you brought to the table, and I just think it’s necessary for us to realize that every single part of our story line has purpose, and every single timing that God alone prepares for you ahead of time. We can’t make this stuff up. She could not make any of this stuff up, that she was gonna have gone through all of this before her children needed it, and so now there’s even greater purpose in her role as a mom, the very purpose and placement that she felt complete anxiety and overhaul and depression in is now the Freedom point for her children, and so we have to wait… It’s a part of the process, and we have to know that when we get there, there’s gonna be a ha moments in reflection. But again, today might be your last day, and if that is the case and you’re struggling or you’re feeling depressed, reach out, say, I need help, and know that you don’t have to stand alone in that space because there are people like Alice and I who want to actually have a real conversation with you about it. There are licensed therapists, I’m not one. That will be there to help you out as well. Their friends, and if you don’t feel like you have a safe inner space, then reach out to a stranger and take a risk on God, ’cause God ordains moments like this for a reason.
Yes, and so we just, we pray or for you, we pray over anybody who was listening today, Lord, that you would just capture their heart, capture their headspace, Lord, and just implant in them without them even realizing their own power, God, the power of the breath. Didn’t you after all, breathe us into life from the foundation of the earth, it was by your breath, Adam was formed, got and so breath has such significant power in our lives, God, I pray that people breathe easier today after hearing aliases incredible convictions and her incredible tools to literally put them into play today, to book in their day, starting now, to start looking and seeking and searching for the good in the gratitude that they have over their current situation, this is not a reflection of the past or a propel to the future of where they want to be, but where they are in this exact purpose moment, God, we thank you for the goodness in our life, we thank you for the struggles too, because we know that you have purpose within them.
I thank You for Alice and her beautiful voice and her incredible heart and in just beautiful wisdom for the people that she serves in her community and for everyone that comes into contact with the ripple effect that she’s creating.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for a sisterhood that we couldn’t have planned ourselves in your sweet name and your people say… Yeah, right, I have a beautiful blessed day and get in touch with Bala. Where is your best place? Where you hang out most… I’m on Facebook, I say, Yo, fulfilled after 50 dot com is my website. You can go there as well, but fulfilled after 50 or just all… Adore 10 on Facebook is so good.
Alright, y’all see you later.
Hey, y’all, it’s me again. I hope in today’s episode, you sense an Ignite to an ever within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey before you go, let’s to Litt by the flank.
I’d love for you to take a step right now and declare your take-away by snapping a pick of the episode you TuneIn to share your spark moment and tag me at it, they underscore podcast or me personally at Taman on in step.
I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the Fitbit podcast listeners, we’re totally in this together, community over competition is the motto, right? I’d also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I’d love to feature your thought in the next episode, and if you and your passion project a big shout out. You know, I’m a writer, so I love words and I can’t wait to read what you have to say, I’m ready to fuel the plane with you together and until next time, blessings over your joy, Powell and wellness to next time.