• Tamra Andress

The Change Empowerment Champion with Lolita Walker

Updated: Nov 22, 2021

You're going to be incredibly blessed by this conversation with Lolita Walker, the author of The Intersection of You & Change. She's a wordsmith and I am so grateful for the coaching that she provided to me on this episode. That's right. You guys are going to hear her directly support me, by speaking words of affirmation over me and teaching you how to do the same.

In addition to that, she shares her stories of the shift from the corporate setting to entrepreneurship - those challenges of what that was like and how she faced it with the triumphs, the process, and the backstory.

About Lolita:

Certified Life & Executive Coach, TEDx Speaker, Author, Podcast Host, Retreat Cultivator, and Change Champion for YOU. Lolita E. Walker is the single mom of one, who is at the forefront of a movement that empowers women and teams to embrace their challenges AND triumphs, act in their strengths, and thrive in the greatness that drives individual and group ownership toward a renewed vision of excellence. She helps you to truly feel and trust the power within your pause.

After nearly 20 years, Lolita packed her faith, strengths, and experiences, then leaped from her senior position in corporate America. With a strong foundation and her savings account, she founded Walker & Walker Enterprises, a personal and professional coaching and change consultancy. Her company, Walker & Walker Enterprises, creates intentional sacred spaces for individuals, corporations, agencies, and groups.

Her book, "The Intersection of You & Change" leads readers through 17 stops of challenging discovery. It shifts your mindset and current thinking of fear to confidence and chaos to clarity. According to one of her long-time clients, "this book is Lolita's signature retreat in print. It is simply POWERFUL!" A natural extension of her portfolio is her podcast, "Coaching, Cocktails, & Conversations," where she meets you where you are and coaches you up to where you need and deserve to be, while having conversations around, what she calls, her virtual kitchen table.

Where to Find Lolita:

Website: HTTPS://

Coaching, Cocktails & Conversations Podcast :

The Intersection of You & Change (my book):



Show Notes:

You're going to be incredibly blessed by this intersection of you change. Okay. So that is also her book title, but it's not about that. I'm not playing with words because that is her job. She's a wordsmith and I am so grateful to the coaching that she provided to me on this episode. That's right. You guys are going to hear her directly support.

Speak words of affirmation over me and teach you how to do the same. In addition to that, she shares her stories of shift from the corporate setting to entrepreneurship, those challenges of what that was like and how will she faced it in the triumphs and the process and the backstory. I think that's what everyone wants to hear is they look great and shiny from the outside, but how did you cross.

There. And she is so vulnerable in the way that she shared and her strength of voice and sounds, and authority and strike that comes out. It's so beautiful. So you've got to listen to a retail Walker today on the Fitbit podcasts, and she has a retreat just like me. So check that out for next year. And if you want to come sooner the next year, as she said, she'll get 12 people together.

Anytime I am getting 12 people together soon in put the day Mita, Mexico, that. We shifted from Costa Rica. You might've heard about it, but we're not getting X eight cards, at least not now. So we aren't forcing anybody to do anything they don't want. Instead, come one, come all to foods that they leave.

Check it on my website, Tamra, backslash retreats. It's going to be a blast and I would love to have you there.

Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.

And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.

Talents. As a purpose activator and brand builder, I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in fake.

Yes girl. I was just talking on a video to say, look at Tamra Andrews. Y'all going. Yes we are. And I'm so excited to introduce to you all my friend, Cal fellow coach and encourage her. Fierce woman of God retreat host, all the things were so synonymous and I'm so excited. You're a podcast host and author. I have yet to grace, the TEDx stage though.

So you are goals to me. This is Lolita Walker with a T. Hello. Hello. And thank you for having me on your platform. This is just super exciting. You know, we got it. To meet each other in person. And not only was that powerful to see you in live action, but now we're here together. Perfect timing. I saw that you're on my calendar cause I worked one day at a time, right?

Like it's too hard to go too far forward. And I was like, yay. So much to talk about. So we already have, and I feel like since the beginning of getting to know you and us, knowing that one, we're not too far away from each other when it comes to the map. Um, but also when in all of our shared passions, so I want to dissect kind of how that evolution looks like for you and what led you to be and do the things that you do.

Oh, such a great question. What led me to be standing and sitting literally where I am right now? Well, I started in corporate. I started in corporate America, like a whole lot of people listening in and I was there for almost 20 years. And the brand that I was working for was being divested from the larger.

And in that new divestiture, I said, no, it's when amazing opportunity that was presented before me. And in that, no, I didn't feel, I didn't, I didn't feel nervous or anything. And so in my mini retirement, that's what I call it. When you were tired, that right. I felt the, the release of pressure that I didn't even know was on my shoulders because I was this robot just doing this stuff the way that Lolita does this stuff and shows up all the time.

Well, I said, I'm great in the corporate space. I know how to navigate this thing. I'm good with getting up the ladder. I'm good with sitting up there doing all of these things. But do I want to do that for my next 20 years? And the answer to me was no. So then the question was, well then what are you going to do?

And I started asking people about what I bring to the table. What are my strengths? What am I really doing? And as I started assessing what those things were, all roads led to Lolita. What you do really, really well is meet me where, where I am without judgment. And then you help me to get to where I wanted to go.

And I didn't even know that that place was over there and it was available. And that looked like coaching. So good. That's so powerful. And so first off, I love that you called it a mini retirement. I called my pivot in life, a midlife or a quarter-life crisis. Mine was a little bit less of it. It was a more of a forced quit.

I like to say. Um, but I think that there's a lot of power in the thing that I took from. Uh, journey most was the fact that you actually looks to the outside of self to find the answers of what other people were seeing you do. Well, I think often we feel like because of we're passionate about it or because we're gifted in it.

That means exactly that this is the next step, but how is it packaged and how has it served to the other people that are receiving it? So I think that's very powerful. In that was their actual, like testimonies of examples that you've helped people get on those tracks that you didn't even realize you were doing.

It was just natural and organic. Yeah. You know, what happened is after I left, it was around suicide 2017. And that was the time that a lot of folks were being laid off from their jobs. And people started coming to me to help them navigate change because they saw that I was navigating so much at once and I wasn't cracking up.

So that change looked like my father had recently passed away. Not too long before my young son. I was with him. I was now, uh, a new single mother and I was recently divorced. And all of this things together was this bundle of change and people were struggling with, and now you're not working now. You're just out of your checking account.

Now you're starting a business. You don't know what to do. How are you doing this? And I started taking people through this process and then I started asking them, well, why did you come to. That's when it started. So as I started talking to other people, they told me examples of, well, you manage me for all these years.

Let me tell you what happened during that and stuff you just do on autopilot, but you don't recognize the. That's a really good, and I think a lot of people don't recognize, right? Like they're in that supersonic thing. But the thing that they're doing really, really well, they're only doing it maybe five to 10% of their time and their capacity because they're doing everything else that when they become free, whether it's from a job, a corporate setting, that's not always what that freedom looks like.

Um, it could be from a relational bondage that's taking place. It could be from a situation, whatever it be, that when they actually operate at that a hundred percent capacity in that full gifting. It becomes just a space of, of fulfillment, unlike anything that you've ever experienced before. Absolutely hands down.

I'm curious, because I know your faith is a huge part of how you operate and how you exist in your being. Where did that? Was that something that was cultivated as a little girl? Talk to us through your faith journey? Oh, absolutely. My parents, we are Baptist by nature. I'm talking small Baptist church. We went from, if they have breakfast, we will be there.

We had the fish fries after church. I was on the usher board. My momma was in the choir. I was in the choir was that thing where everybody knew you. So the point of going so much, that that becomes like. Right. And the expectations were there. So we were speaking in front of people because you were up reading a scripture for the day.

We have friends that were like-minded. So yes, I started off with a very strong foundation. And when that's infused in you, what happened was I went to college and life happens, and then you started getting busy and we didn't have podcasts back then, or you couldn't tune in and stream to your church. So we got.

Church on campus, but that church on campus wasn't like my home church. It didn't feel like that. So I started getting out of the practice. I still prayed, but I stopped going to church, let's say, but when I went back on my own is where you have to rely on faith because who is. Not your friends. Who's going to leave you on the sidelines, right?

Sometimes not even your family, but God is always there. So going back to where I started my entrepreneurship battle battle. So funny, I, that they're like we're fighting my journey. There was a time and I talk about this often. I was, I started my business, but again, for me, although I was taking people through change, there was so much change happening at once for me.

And at one point there was overwhelmed that pushed me on the ground Tamra and I was on my hands and knees in a fetal position. Sobbing sobbing, like no other. And in that moment, I remember the surrender in that moment. You can't do anything else. And I remember saying, thank you God, for these tears that are coming down my face right now, because somebody else doesn't have these tears to cry today.

And I remember saying, thank you God, for this roof over my head. Although I don't even know how I'm going to continue to pay for my mortgage. And in those modes, I said a lot more, but I felt what I've never felt before I experienced this, what I call a blanket of calm. And it literally felt like there was a blanket being put on me from my back to my front covering me.

And I didn't know, I felt scared, but I felt excited at the same time. And I remember saying, thank you God. And I haven't experienced that, but my tears started drying up. And then in that moment, I went downstairs and I wrote what's called my beef recre that I say every single day, it stopped three in my book.

I end all my rooms with it. I say it all the time. And it just brings me such a power in such a calm. And I believe that everybody will experience when you surrender to God, everyone is able to experience what I call a God moment. And that was. Oh, my gracious. I love that even though you're not speaking in poetic format, you're speaking in poetic format.

Like it is so good to hear you speak like it's so sweet and, and buttery the way it comes off of your tongue. But out of your mind, the one thing that I think is really interesting and it was not paralleled to my story of surrender was immediate gratitude. You were in this space of surrender and you were just started professing what you were grateful for, whether it be tears, whether it be that roof that you might not be able to have the very next day or the very next month or whenever, uh, how did you know to like, shift into that space so quickly?

Or was it just kind of a revelation of need at that moment? Yeah, it was. It was a need. It was a desire. It was what I needed. Right. Then I just felt so hopeless and so down. I didn't know what to do. I just felt like the world literally was crashing and. What that's a good question. What made me start saying thank you God, for these things, maybe it's my foundation.

It is maybe it's because you go back to your roots when you're in times of crisis and times when you're down. That's why now in my practice, I talk about your foundation and your roots and what are your core values? It's those things that you go back to when nothing else is there. And for me, one of my core values is.

Yeah. And in faith, parallel to gratitude is so critical because I think otherwise, what is your faith premise, Don? And you know, it almost leads you to that place of, of vacancy. Because if you look around, if you're really looking around, like there's a lot of hurt, there's a lot of distraught experiences.

There's a lot of pain. Uh, there's a lot of shame, which is one of my missions to like re to rid people of that. When you look internal, you recognize that there's so much more gratitude. So it's almost like this internal recognition of breadth of life of just being that, then we can evoke change based on our state of gratitude.

Yeah. And you know what else? I think it was this notion of how dare me look around right here and see all of the blessings that are upon me. I'm living out of a cha a checking account. Or savings account. I'm in a home where I have a roof over my head and I have heat that is flowing out of these vents.

You know, like I am down, but if this is my low, how dare I not be thankful for it? Like, if this is my low, my low, then how dare I not be in a state of gratitude because I'm standing right here. And there's so many people who. Yeah, it's so good. And I, and I think when we were at the conference this past weekend, they were talking about like the fact that America in and of itself, wasn't even here 245 years ago.

And that from a component of wealth that we are the wealthiest nation. Even when we are say we're flat broke, we're actually still. Very wealthy. We have shoes on our feet. We have clean water to access, right? We have a component of shelter, whether that's even a shelter or your actual home, at least they exist.

Right. And I think that it's just a need and it's one of the reasons I'm so passionate about international travel and taking women into a space where they can actually see and be reminded by the gratitude of the space that we are currently existing in, on the regular. I know, retreats or something.

That's really powerful to you as well. How do you integrate the things that you learned and the strength that you've brought to those scenarios in and infuse it to other people? Ooh, so good. You know, if I had to choose. The most powerful and impactful piece of my business portfolio for me, between coaching and speaking and all the products and services it by far would be my retreats.

And I see you smiling because it gives you that one-on-one, but it gives you that feeling of giving back in the moment. Like I can flex in the moment and move and flow and see your transformation right in front of me. That is the juiciness of a retreat of rich. For me, I only have 12 people that is, that can come.

And it's because I want to give you my one-on-one attention, but I also want you to be able to feel and be comfortable in your own surrender. So I think my foundation has helped me also, my superpower that I thank God for all the time of being a conversationalist and being able to listen intently.

While I also am able to feed you. You know, what else is that? There's flow. So I'll have a schedule. God lasted me every time I have a schedule and I give it out. And I say, you guys, what I, what I've learned after my first one, and now we're going to be on nine for my 10 for my next one. Oh, that's a big one.

Yeah. Right. And. Is that we're going to flow and I'm going to flow right with you, which is why I love my coaching practices to a retreat allows you to be in person or virtual, but the in-person ones are the ones I'm talking about right now. It allows you to bond like no one else can because you're in the moment and people simply speak.

It allows me. Coach while also being coached. It allows me to sit in moments and see transformation happening. It allows people to cry and feel okay with it. It allows me to also walk away and honestly say no so that I can get some me-time. And I do build that in, and that was after my second retreat. I began building in me-time.

Do you do that? Cause I. God put me down. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Cause I mean, you recognize it, whether it's a retreat, even in one-on-one coaching conferences, things like that. If there is not that component of just reflection and isolation, isolation or connection, right. It's so that we can align and realize that we can continue to be that strong.

It's hard because you stop hearing what God is saying. If you're constantly infiltrated with all of those emotions, because it is a lot, especially at the, as the liaison of the experience and it's, as you're helping other people flow into their surrender, the other people in that group, aren't also navigating at the exact same pace as that person.

And so it's a very interesting dynamic. And some people don't even really share open up until almost near the end. Right. And they're just receiving, receiving, receiving all week and then their waterworks come at the last day where another person, their waterworks have been held tight for so long that they're there and just ready to get it over with.

So it's funny, like I don't host retreats to make people cry. Right. I do host retreats for people to have breakthrough, but the way that I share about people doing it is really more about that rest and rejuvenation. And I think alongside rest and rejuvenation comes surrender because you get to that place of slow.

You get to that place of being in union with your actual emotions versus the emotions of the expectations based on the situation that. Our spouses have expectation for us. Our kids had expectation for us, our bosses, even our colleagues or team members. They expect us to show up in certain ways. And it's one of the reasons I encourage people to go on retreats with other women that actually aren't there for.

That they're not traveling with a group of people that they go and they're the only person they know. Uh, cause it really allows you to be fully present and not have to worry about, well, what are they going to say? What if they take back this information and share it with somebody else, right. Have you ever gone on your own individual?

You mean, do I bring myself to my retreat or have I been on other people on somebody else's Richard? What was that experience like being on the other side of like the teaching or training or coaching, you know what, I'll tell you that, but let me tell you the end. That is why I host my own. So let's start there.

I have been to a number of retreats. I've been to different types of retreats. And there always felt like there was something missing. So I would get something out of the retreat for the moment, but I would leave and feel good, but there was something that was missing and I didn't know what that something was.

And one day I woke up and I said, I'm hosting a women's retreat. I know exactly what I want to do. I don't want to have it in a hotel. I want us all to be together. I want it to be all-inclusive experience. I want to shop that stair. I want these busy women to be able to come once they pay one price, everything else is included.

I don't even want them to have to think, show up, done and done. And that was it. I called Sue friends that I graduated. One that has this culinary Institute and the other one is I'm a psychiatrist because it was important to me for the type of retreat that I want is to have a psychiatrist there as well, to do some mental stuff.

And it's all good in the neighborhood. And. I started, I got on the phone with them and our very first one was in Philadelphia. It was an open, huge loft. There, there were these, um, kind of sliding doors. It was two too. Oh my gosh. Every bed was a twin bed and there were two people. At a total of 12 people, myself and the two ladies that I'm talking about, one of us was on the couch, sleeping in one was like in a super loss.

It was crazy. It was crazy, but I will tell you something, it was solely. I told people about it, what I was going to do. And the last woman who came to that one, the last person I did not know, or have any affiliations at all with she came, she said, I found it online. She found it a week before the retreat.

She said, I found it online. You were nearby. And your sites resonated with me and she loved it. Loved it. The best gift too, because we know from a marketing perspective, Retreats can be tough because we are buying for other people's attention, no different than any style or genre of marketing, no different than being a coach or a podcast or author.

Right. Everybody is being sold all the time. And I think there's such power in the way that you show up in, in the strength that you have, um, in the vulnerability of the challenges that you face and also your passion for women specifically in the way that you serve them. And so I think that one, it's no surprise that she resonated with you, but two, I can only imagine the depth of, of testimonials that you have from everyone that you see.

Um, I've only been blessed by your ministry for a short period of time through clubhouse, through breakfast of champions, even in person though, you, you, in the middle of my lunch mouthful, you asked me a really deep question. That was one of the most integral questions of the conference. And I talked to a lot of amazing people, but that question just really resonated with me because it took me by surprise in my response, not the question per se.

And when you said it, would you have guessed that you'd be here a year ago? And so I'm curious from your perspective, would you guess that you'd be where you are right now? A year ago? Yes. It's so funny. That was your answer too. I would say yes, I, yes. I dream. And I'm looking at my vision board right now. I vision even bigger than where I stand right now.

I mean, I haven't even touched the iceberg, the tip of even the iceberg. I can see it. I'm not even nearby where I know my potential is. And I'll tell you, I do. I'm excited about where I am, but I am probably my, my hardest and harshest critics. And although I know I make impact. Sometimes I say to myself, Lolita, like, what are you doing?

You should be further and farther. What is the gap? And then I have to check myself sometimes it's okay to sit in that because I believe we push each other and we know that there's bigger, better, bolder. But so that question is yes, I knew I would impact the masses. Yes. I knew that I would be touching women.

Yes. I knew that I would be working on my second book, but yes, I've had goals that I haven't yet achieved where I'm standing right now. And we're less than four. I know, I know. Right. It's so good though, because I feel like even just this morning, there was the commentary in the clubhouse saying that, you know, your start date and your finished day don't have to be December 31st.

There's really no component of date that is beyond or in too soon or too late. It's a recognition of self and a huge conversation I've been having all year is my pace. Um, mainly because I've had people and it's what I kind of spoke to at the conference around busy-ness. It will take note of all the things you show up everywhere.

You're doing all this stuff. You're traveling all the time. Uh, and it's, it's not because I feel out of congruency with what I'm supposed to be doing. In fact, it's actually the opposite. Uh, but it's the knowing that if I am not in stride or in pace with God himself, then I feel exhausted. Then I feel burnt out, then I feel like I'm out of alignment and not serving and all of the hats that I have.

Right. And so I'm curious for you, when you think about, uh, the next steps of, of achieving those goals, not that you're sent to, to strive. Um, but how do you perceive that pace is going to look as you keep going? I mean, what is your momentum like now? How do you take care of how do you have those moments of rest?

How do you keep. Yeah. Yeah. So good. I did a chat this morning on another social app about self motivation. And how do you continue with self motivation? And I see your question is very similar and I left these seven steps in my mind of completion. That's because the number seven is completion. I could give you a list of

I love the number seven. Yeah. But some of what I talked about and I do for myself is that I write my small wins. I do. Every day I write a small win on what I call a small wins. Myself and my family, one small win. And what we do at the end of the month is that we read them all out because occasionally we forget that we do have wins along the side of the road.

And the thing is that they can come back into the forefront whenever you want them to. You're just choosing not to see them. So let's talk about them and then there's no judgment around them. So motivation is being able to go to that wall and no. That you are making an impact every day in some of your small winds that literally could be that I had two pieces of pie tonight.

There's no judgment because there's reward in it. All right. There's no judgment. Um, another piece is that I'm grounded in faith, which you talked about before too. And what I do now without a shadow of a doubt is that winning. I know that this coverage to my left and my right. And when I imagine myself standing on my foundation, literally, although it might have cracks in it, whatever I'm feeling in that moment, I know that God is omnipresent and is right there.

And because I might fall, which I will fall my strengths, my strength, and my faith have wings that will protect my full. Right. You know, another thing, um, Tamar is I believe in the power of affirmations. I believe in the power of, I am. I believe that I am is ownership over whatever you say next in his demonstration.

So those are the three. That's a really good, um, one, I know that you love affirmation so much that it's a part of your brand and you gifted me affirmations that are now sitting next to our, um, our diffuser, which is a critical part of our home. Right. Um, but I, I was grateful for that gift and they're beautiful.

They, they partner with me and my love for. Okay. And so it met my spirit, but I think the component that I wanted to mention too, because I think it's different than what a lot of people say about affirmations, uh, is the fact that you are saying that the power of I am based on state. And as we enter into the latter part of the year and the new year, a lot of people are going to set those quote unquote resolutions.

Right. And I am not much of a resolution center. And I can tell you why specifically later, but my question to you is when you set these, I am statements and you're making this social contract, not just with yourself, but with other people. Cause a lot of people proclaim them out out. How do you help people step into that vision time after time?

Stay in that realm of, I will do this based on the, I am based on the affirmation. So good. I, my, I AM's are little different Mo mainly. And I'll talk to you about, um, what I've talked to my clients about is this, what is a strength that, you know, you have, so let's do one. You ready? Okay. What is one strength that, you know, without a shadow of a doubt that you have?

I like emanate joy. Okay. I am a joy laminator. Okay. And why do you, why do you say that? What makes that true? A lot of people tell me that they say that I light up a room when I come in. Um, but also I feel it like deep within my spirit based on evolution. I know the difference between happiness and joy.

Hmm. Okay. Um, what is one strength that your husband would say without a shadow of a doubt for me? Um, gosh, uh, What would he say? Well, he's the chef, so it's not that I cook. I have somebody who cleans my house. So it's not that I clean responses. Um, probably that, um, I am trustworthy. Oh, okay. And what makes you say that?

How have you demonstrated that before? Uh, I stick to my word, uh, and this is only because I lived a season that I didn't. And so I am confident in my integrity and the trust that we've cultivated. Ooh, like that. What, in the last one, what is one strength that one of your clients would say that you have your latest client, your last client that you've talked to her?

Okay. I just was talking to him just a couple hours ago. Um, it's that I bring more value in the conversations that I have, then the finances that they have to exchange. So that my basically is telling me that I don't charge enough, but he was just saying that my conver, the conversations that he has with NIR, unlike any of the coaches he's had in the past and for a guy to say that that's pretty awesome.

Okay. Okay. So this is what I heard. I am a joy emulator. I know the difference between happiness and joy, and I bring that to the world every day. I am trustworthy. I stick to my word. Because I know what it feels like not to, I am value. My conversations are unlike any other coaches that my clients meet. I am Tamar Andrus.

That's what I heard. Oh, right. That's what you said. That is amazing lowly to, so the power in that is that it's not only an IAM. It's what you said, and then you remember how you've demonstrated it in the past. And so now when it comes to you at your lowest times, are you trying to figure out, oh my gosh, I am.

I am. Um, I am strength, right? I am organized. All of those are very good. And I want you to know those too, but now I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt, the strengths that not only you see, but others see, and then how you've demonstrated it. So this is a two part. It is, I am a joy emulator by how, like, how do you know that?

It's because I know the difference between happiness and joy and I bring it to the world every day. When you can tell yourself. And not only tell yourself that, but you've demonstrated it before then. There's no room for doubt, fear or anxiety, because you're already telling yourself the truth you've been there.

You've demonstrated it. So now how do you walk in into that? Right? How are you going to bring joy today to your situation? How are you going to bring trust into your situation? How are you going to bring value your own unique value into your circumstances? Because you can, and now you know that you can, because you've already demonstrated it.

You're standing. Right. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That's incredible. I've never, ever witnessed that before. Uh, thank you. I feel like it's an added gift to this conversation and I think as people are processing those answers or those questions for themselves, right? It's the knowing that there are people like yourselves who want to have these conversations who are making space for people to have these conversations and supporting them.

I see a sister, the dream is spending. Calling you forward. And yet the works are taking until

summoned into purpose to reap what he promised, what you desire is noble and honest.

Co-laborers needed to level up your fields. Plow, plant. Harvest to yield

your vision and growth well manifest layer, spirit to rest with all you invest

a fresh season upon you waiting to flourish, requiring your faith and works to nourish.

Are you ready to repeat your harvest?

and so from like a coaching perspective, I mean, there's the empowerment piece, right. And helping others, sanding and empowerment. What other unique facets of coaching do you bring to the table? This one in and of itself is such a trap. Yeah, not only am I, um, so funny someone the other day said, Lolita, I know what it is you do.

I've been wanting to put some words to it. You give to spoken word, a gospel to your soul.

So that it's in my bio is everywhere now because it was so good. Yeah, it's true. So that piece is what I just did that that's unique to me because I'm able to hear you and reframe. So that's all around reframing. The other piece that I have a super power in doing is, especially in the coaching realm, you know, about already asking powerful questions, right?

That's just the nature of coaching, but, um, what I'm really, really good at doing is asking you the questions hearing. Reframe me at for you and then literally pausing for your own accountability. That's what coaching is. And, but everybody doesn't coach. So that aspect of coaching and I'll sit with you.

And so you get to the root of answering your own problem. And that's the difference between coaching and consulting is that a lot of coaches really are fixers and they are telling you what you think you want to know about how they would do. And they're trying to fix your problem, but you didn't really come with that problem that you think you had because when you choose to listen and dig a little deeper.

Right. You're so right. You're so right. And it's interesting as I was unpacking that experience with people and clients about three years ago, There was an evolution of this understanding because they would come and their outcome desire was I want to start a business. Right. And then by the time we were like three sessions in.

Hold on. You've got marital issues. We've got personal development issues. You've got no health consciousness whatsoever. And I would recognize that it was actually less about the business. The idea was great. They could probably make that happen, but because the other pieces were out of alignment and out of zone of clarity, they weren't even focused on those things because.

Oftentimes, what we want is to be seen and business and entrepreneurship feels like a place to be seen, but what if we can learn to be seen just in our own. And actually reflect and love and sit with that person, but that's not often what we're taught to do because of striving because of perfectionism because of achievement driven society.

Um, so I just, I really resonate with that. And I think as someone who coaches, it's almost like pastors who need pastors, right? Trainers need trainers. That's actually a chapter in my, in my book about that because we, at some point feel like we age out of needing that. The age out of the facts that we need a coach, because we no longer do childhood athletics where we age out of counseling, because now my problem is solved or healed.

True. But we are a being, we have a mind. And so mental therapy and these conversations in these questions that are being probed, they have to be consistent or you get to a stagnation of. And that's what happened to both of us. You're like, I hate my job. I don't even enjoy this. And I'm sitting there and like, I don't even know if I like my life to the point that I don't ever want to be there.

That was my fetal position because of choices that happened to me and choices I had chosen. And so I think that there needs to be, um, it, uh, coaching reframe for a couple of reasons, right? The coaching reframe of the fact that like you need help. Yeah. I'll raise my hand to that, but not a lot of people.

Right. Yeah. So tell me too, from your perspective, when you're talking to people and like, I don't need a coach or like you're, you're sharing what it is that you do. How do you actually activate them into knowing the truth that this is the next step for them? Oh, that's such a great question. You know, when people resonate with you, it's a beautiful thing.

They want you to come with them on their journey. They want to be on your journey. They're like, where's the next. And for a while in my life, I didn't have a next step. It's like, let's go to lunch. Okay. Right. Oh, sure. Get back on my calendar. Oh my gosh. But now it's a practice. It's a business. So now I still show up in the same type of way.

And your people will find you. So I used to go out and say, this is why you need me. You need me, but you're right. Coaching clients don't know they need coaching. And they definitely don't want to ask for help to tell you that they, they, they associate you with therapy and ESL therapy is crazy and everybody everybody's off.

Yeah. You're so, right. Right. And the whole thing feels slimy because they think it's slimy, but it's actually soothing and exactly what they need. Yeah. So what I do is I show up and I see. I show up and I ask my clients, would it be okay if for the next potential client that may be talking to me? I say, you know what?

I've heard you. And this is how I believe that I can help you, but you don't have to believe me. I have somebody that you can talk to. And I always tell them my last client get ready because there could be a potential that somebody will call you. Is that okay? Right. There was a time, um, Tamar where I was not comfortable in my ass.

And sometimes I struggle with that still today. And my latest struggle with my ass was asking for testimonials from people on. And the reason is because when I dug into it, it was because early on in my coaching practice, I was told by a couple of clients that they didn't want people to know that they were being coached.

And I understand that because it's a very personal journey and they definitely didn't want to be on video and I couldn't even get them to be on audio. So what I used was. Letter and their last name and that worked for me forever, but I never went back for the ask because I was sitting in that and how personal it is.

And everybody's going to say no. So now what I do is it doesn't need to be about coaching. What if it's about speaking because speaking and if I speak life, then you know that that then can translate. And if I happen to find a client who was ready to get on camera and talk about their coaching expense, Let's do it.

Let's do it. That's really good insight. Really good insight. One thing. Then I would add to the support of that is oftentimes when I'm on the coaching experience with people. Um, and I'm asking question about, so how are you feeling what's going on? I have it recorded, right? And they're telling you so excitedly about the transformation that's taking place.

And then the review never happens. So I reach out to them afterwards and say, Hey, I loved and chairs so much. What you just said earlier today. Since I record for my own learning. Is it okay if I clip this component and every single time they say yes. Oh, that's such a good idea. Look, thanks, Tamra. You're welcome.

You gave me a tree. I'm like, how can I serve you back? I will do that. Yes, I will do that. Good. So I am, I'm just honored that we. Special time together since we were adjusted in person and didn't have as much as we should have. What is another way that I can serve you? What things do you have coming in, in the lineup maybe for the end of the year or for next year?

I know you probably have retreats on the calendar, but coaching and stuff like that. Let's hear about it. Well, I have a couple I'm going to do three because I value the number three and seven is just too many for the ads. I have three. You could run one or all three, you could put her it. All right. The first ask is all about, um, my retreat.

Absolutely. My next in-person retreat is in September of 2020. Already on my website, Lolita just to let power women know that there's only 12 available. Right. So that is absolutely available. And some people say, well, why aren't you doing it earlier? Well, let me know you want it earlier. And if there's 12 of you, then we will absolutely love it.

Let's go. So that's. Ask right. The second ask that I have is for a testimonial, right. Is for it. So I love that it's for video testimonial. I started when we were at the conference, that's when I started. So it's not even like people, it just started. I love that. I love that. So my ask is for you Tam or for a video testimonial, you done done, done.

All right. You send that to me. I'm so excited about it. It'll be a surprise. Okay. Okay. That'd be good. And then let's see, the last one is, oh, my podcast. We've got to get you on. I know I would love that. Do it. Well, they can trade a little swap Ru done enzyme. That's right. That was the three. And what about me?

Can I help you with sir? I love it. First off, we have to let everybody know what your name of your podcast is so they can pop over and get the goods of Lolita. Do you ever do your spoken words on your podcast? Oh my goodness. Only a couple of times. Have I done it? I haven't either. And I feel like that's an area we should really step into.

What is he know? What. I was on a call today. And I was saying that I am going to do, I never really do impromptu episodes, but I'm going to do an impromptu episode, no editing needed. Cause it's just me. Right. I am going to do a piece of spoken word now, even on the other ones where I did it, I didn't even mark it that I did it.

It's just randomly on there. You'll get a treat this one. I'm going to actually talk about and say this spoken word on here. I love that. I love that. If there is a season of creativity, that's just, um, it's actually on a rise in the kingdom. And in my personal opinion, and people are recognizing that like God is showing up in all facets of who he is through his children.

And there's just been an, a release, especially since experiencing it at the conference last week. Firsthand of, of creativity, like creativity through word, through language, through dance, through amusement, through sound, through everything, the teaching and educating and the way that people do so creatively.

And I'm, I'm in for it. I think we need to do more of it because it really, uh, tunes to people in a new way than just want, want, want, want, while, like, we all begin to sound like Charlie brown teacher, and I want us to have like that. That component of, of sound that just, it likes people's Hartley makes people move into action because they see other people doing it.

Cause we're all. Oh, my goodness. Oh, this is so good Tamra. So listen, would you consider doing an episode on yours doing an episode? That is like a bonus to the bonus and just your spoken word on one. Come on, come on. You're challenging me. All right, let's do it. I'll share yours. You share mine when it comes out.

I'm committed me to actually know exactly the one that I want to share. I haven't, I haven't given it out to the world. And I'm going to do dear yesterday. And the reason I'm going to do that is because a woman literally just wrote on some platform. I forget which one it was. I feel like it was LinkedIn.

I loved your deer yesterday, done and done. You, you deliver every single time you over-deliver and by over-deliver, I mean, it just allows people's cups to overflow in the way that you show up in the way you speak and share. And you actually really see people. And I think through social audio, which is where we're at most of the time, that's a hard thing to do.

And so you really are attuned to people's energies and voices. And I, and I love that about you. Yeah. So coaching cocktails and conversations, dear yesterday. So fun. You guys. Thank you, Lolita so much. We will see you on clubhouse tomorrow or hear you, but in the meantime, go to Lolita, go to coaching cocktails and conversations podcast, and go over to YouTube and check out her TEDx because it's amazing.

And we want to get those views up, right. Sister, have a great day.

Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you, since an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.

You tuned it to share your sparked moment and tag me at bitten faith underscore podcast, or me personally at Tampa. On Insta. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and fade podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?

I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I'd love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out. You know, I'm a writer. So I love words and I can't wait to read what you have.

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