• Tamra Andress

Reframing Your Life with Carol Boston

Nothing happens in the comfort zone, except complacency and mold. I don't want to live my life like that and neither does Carol Boston. She's the Queen of Reframing. She will help you reframe the challenge to uplevel your identity, business, and more. Learn how to exist within your story through this podcast.

Key Takeaways:

All about the Queen of Reframing

How to reframe what you are going through

Her mission to help others achieve their goals through reframing

About Carol:

Carol Boston, the Queen of Reframe, helps you reframe any challenge so you can double or triple your income in record time. Carol has over 27 years of experience as a sales expert in Fortune 100 companies like AT&T, Sprint and Paychex. She is also a former professional tennis player and is known to be relentless in supporting her clients to get the results that they want. Carol helps women business owners and a few good men to reframe and let go of the story that is keeping them stuck so that they can quickly achieve their goals.

Where to Find Carol:

Show Notes: Reframing Your Life with Carol Boston

Tamra Andress

Welcome, welcome, welcome. So excited to be here with you today and all of the listeners who are already jumping on to watch. It is going to be an incredible conversation and something I am really excited for, but also really present for. And I hope that everyone listening just takes a moment to just really receive. I have a feeling that Carol has not just an energy level that we all need, but she also has some key ways and reasons for us to Reframe. She's known as the Queen of Reframing will help you in the challenges.

You will help you double and triple down your income in record time. First off, yes, yes, we all need that, but more so, I just love the wealth of knowledge, the experience that you bring to the table and all of the different companies that you've partaking in. But also the key component that I was like really intrigued by was the professional tennis player aspect, because I know tennis players have grit. I tried it when I was in middle school. I told my dad I was going to be a tennis player. He took me one time. I quit.

It's so hard. It's a hard sport. So I know you've got grit. I know that you are somebody who's going to be a motivator. And so if you're tuning in right now, welcome Carol Boston - a new best friend. Thanks for being here today, Carol.

Carol Boston

Thank you. It's a pleasure. And that's that's a great topic. You want to hop in there because you and I have a similarity. I was raised in the country between two brothers. I grew up playing football, baseball and basketball. When I was thirteen, my dad said, "let's go play tennis." I said, "what's that?" Because it's a lot like hitting a softball. You can do it. So I went after about thirty minutes. I walked up and I put the racket on by the net and I looked at him and said, "Don't you ever ask me to do this again. You brought me out here to embarrass me."

Now, I told you I was raised competitively. Two years later, I'm on the swim team and I noticed that my peers would go down and play tennis between. So it was like, if they can do it, I can do it right? Now, we didn't have any money for private lessons, so I had one of those old my first racket was a John McEnroe Dunlop. Right. It's probably classic now. But I knew that if I went down and sat and listened to the pro teach the other kids, my mind was a sponge and I knew and this is really important in business, I knew that if I could get the better kids to play with me, I would get better.

So I take that into businesses. Who you surrounding yourself with, right? Like I just left the mastermind a few months ago and the guy said, why did you leave? I said, I was the smartest person in the room. I'm not getting anything out of this. Right. They're looking for me to lead your mastermind. I want to be where they're smarter people in the room because I want to grow. I want to up level.

So that's how I started. And the tennis took a notice. I didn't go out on Friday and Saturday night to be the tennis court at six a.m. in the morning. So what he did for me. Listen, this is a good thing. I did not pay him for this. He built this contraption and it looked kind of like this out of wood. And he put it inside the service box and he would give me a grocery cart full of balls.

Now, if I hit my serve correctly, that contraption gave me I could serve and volley all by myself. I learned how to serve and volley all by myself. There was nobody there.

So I made I made no mistakes on the high school team and I was ecstatic. Here's another way of leveling your game. All five of the girls who played above me, guess what? They started playing when they were five years old. They came from money. They all belong to Piermont Oaks Country Club, and they had a great coach named Jerry in the country. Now, Jerry took a liking to me. He never coached me privately. But what he would do is he would call me up and say, Hey, Carol, I'm going to be working on Lawrence for him.

You want to come return for handsome like heck? Yeah. First off, I got to go to the country club. Right. And that was a big deal for me. And second off, he knew that I would listen to what he was telling her. So I was very blessed. We won the National High School Championship and at the end of my junior year now my dad is really Southern and my dad said and he says, now, Carol, you need to get a job or you better get an academic scholarship going, sending you to college.

Right. And I said, but I'm going to get a tennis scholarship.

He paused, he looked down his nose at me, like I said, get a job or get an academic scholarship, right.

And here's where I trusted in someone else's vision for me until I could truly believe it for myself. It's happened three pivotal times in my life. And I can't believe in what Jerry said that I could do this. I ended up getting three full offers, but they weren't to the schools I wanted to go to. I wanted to be an LSU fighting tiger, as a matter of fact. I'm sixty one years old and still have my LSU love it, so I got a half a half scholarship to LSU, so I took out a student loan off I went.

Same thing. And they number six. But I was excited. The top six get to play. Right. So I worked hard that year, had a pretty good year. And here's another thing I tell people about becoming a professional athlete in your business. The first step is you have to show up every day no matter what you feel like. That's how professional athletes get there, right? They show up every day no matter what. The second thing you have to do is sometimes you have to be willing to practice when everybody else is resting.

Now, that doesn't mean I advocate being a workaholic, but that summer, all the other girls on the team, way more experienced, way better than me, took the summer off. I didn't I got on the twenty one under tour and I grinded it out all summer and I would practice with the men. Listen, I got bruises. Sometimes they would hit the serve so fast I couldn't get out of the way. Right. But I was determined I was going to stay in there and learn.

I came back. It's August. We're having tryouts. Same women on the team. I went from playing number six to playing number two. And by the end of that semester, I was playing number one and became team leader for three years. Right. So these are some of the things that I teach in my I'm developing a course called Limitless Leadership Academy, Seven Steps to an Unstoppable Business. And in one of the steps is you've got to raise your game.

Right. And that's how to become a professional athlete in your business.

So the cool thing was, is that I'm able to bring that discipline.

And I like the word you said, grit is my clients and combine it with my savvy from a twenty six year, very successful sales career for Fortune. One hundred companies and I bring both of those to bear on my clients and my clients get great results.

That is so amazing. Obviously, you guys heard this like double and triple income. You you're not allowed to say those things unless it's true. So I am I'm just amazed and excited to hear the further component of like one being called the queen, the queen of the Reframing. And another word that has been used to describe you is relentless. And clearly, professional athletes have to be relentless. There has to be a component of relentlessness for us as entrepreneurs to keep going like nothing's getting in my way.

I'm going to show up. And one thing that you said that really spoke to me just today in this moment was sometimes you have to be willing to practice when everyone else is resting. You guys got woke me up at one forty four this morning. One forty four like that is go back to sleep. Right. Don't do that. Do not put your feet on the ground. Do not touch your phone. So my husband had to go out on a fishing trip.

I'm sorry. Let me Reframing that he got to go out on a fishing trip this morning at 2:00 in the morning. So I saw him in bed at one forty four thinking it has to be like three forty five when I usually get up. And I was so worried for him that he missed it. So I looked at my phone in the breast like all that's where I was not going back to sleep. At that point he still had time to sleep and I was wide awake is what are you doing?

So one of the things I want to specifically say is that I had I had this revelation probably two and a half years ago when my business was really starting to get momentum on. The vision was clear at that point, but I hadn't had specific clients at that point other than a couple of people that I was serving. And I realized if I wanted this as bad as I said I wanted it, I had to show up for it as bad as I dream for as much as I had dream for it.

And this could take me it could be a side hustle. Yours could be a side hustle. And that's great. But I learned recently that if you show up one hour extra, the one hour that everybody's sleeping, you now are going to have three hundred and sixty five extra hours per year. Then nobody else. That's just one hour I the way many hours don't wake up at one forty four, I don't recommend it, but four a.m. is a typical wake up time for me.

And you have an entire workday to people's side hustle done before the sun has risen. So relentlessness.

Talk to us about the relentlessness that you how can you train and being relentless, how can you train in that that process of showing up when everyone else is sleeping? Mindset mastery, number one, and you make a decision, you have to make a decision, and then you make the decision, right. Right, because nobody else is going to do it for you. I had a client this is a great example of this, and she's the one that Tagami relentless.

So she started with me in October of twenty eighteen and she female family lawyer had been in practice for a little while and she hired me for two main reasons. She said she said I was confident she had heard me speak and she said, I want confidence. I want to know when I walk in a room, I have something of value to say and I want to hit my weekly income goals in my price. So we got started. And there's several tools that I teach on.

I mean, I've taught at America American. I was hired by American Express six times to come in and teach on a tool that I'm going to tell you about today that made me the queen of Reframing. And so I use that to some other tools. And I have something I call my secret sauce and they all work synergistically. She was not doing it.

October goes by, November goes by, not doing it. Finally, the week after Thanksgiving, she shrugged her shoulders, rolls her eyes at me. She goes, OK, Carol, I'll do it. And I said, Will you do it consistently? She said, Yes. This is the week before Thanksgiving, January, February, March, April and May. We tripled her income every month over the year before, every single month. Now she loves that right.

And people love that. But what was cool for me was it's supposed to be a six month program, October to March, the first week of March. She stops and she looks me up and down. I had an office at the time and she said, so Carol. Can you get me ready to run for judge? I was like, what? Not in two weeks wins the election, right? She says it's in twenty twenty. I'm like, when she goes November, I said, you're going to hire me for another 18 months.

She says, you're going to get me ready. I'm like, hell, yeah. She said, write it up. Listen, that's what I live for.

She went from having no confidence to wanting to run for judge. Why? I would say every every single one of my clients will tell you they absolutely saw in confidence. Now, I got a text from a gentleman not too long ago. If I'd thought about it, I did it up and read it to you. But he basically said before I started working with you, I never got out of my comfort zone because I know confidence is basically, he said, since the tools and tips and strategies, techniques and and the mindset, mastery and talk about Reframing.

Right. He said, I have more confidence and I've ever had in my life. And he is the cool thing is you're always in my head. And I know that I've never, ever stop because you asked me what else is possible.

What else is possible is the most powerful of all empowering questions. The caveat is you're not to sit around and try to figure out the answer. So let's delve into that real quick. You want to hear about this? Definitely do.

OK, so empowering questions allow you to reframe from focusing on what isn't working, which is what most people do. Right. And they open you to opportunities you've never even considered or thought of before. They caused you to ponder, to get curious. They create what I call Oprah. Aha. Moments now coming up at the end of the year is my next book, and it's going to be titled You can't read the label when you're inside the Jar and we're all there.

All right. We're all in a jar.

Empowering questions allow you to see these opportunities that are right outside your door that you can't see.

You can't see them, right? So when you ask what else is possible, your job is to go right back to work, what you're doing or playing basketball, what else is possible around whatever challenge you perceive that you're having in power? Here's a golden nugget. This will affect every area of your life. As a matter of fact, I just had someone we have a meeting tomorrow. She said you've got to start putting programs together. You can do it for parents.

You can do it for kids about these empowerment questions. They never, ever, ever start with a word y ever y brings in defensiveness, which brings in the ego, which brings in emotions. And when emotions go up, intelligence goes down. It's true for every human being. Now think about it. I don't have children, but I had parents who did this to me. So maybe, maybe, maybe you did this to your kids, right?

They let's say they broke curfew. What's the first thing you said to them? Are you late? And they get defensive. And you ended up in an argument. How it went with my dad was I came home with a report card, five A's in a B, I'm like. Why don't you get A, B, but that C, I went into defense mode, but Dad, I got five A's. That's not what I asked you, he said I said that day that that was my older brother.

I but David got three C's and a D and my dad said to me, and we expect a lot more out of you, young lady.

Now, as a child, how I heard that was I had to be perfect to earn love, trust me, that has challenged every area of my life for many, many years until I became aware that I could reframe the story. But what if my dad had said this to me intown? Questions are specific in our time about what if he had said Carol what one thing could you do differently next semester to improve upon that? Great. Do you think we'd had a different conversation?

Yeah, and if I'm the one doing the thinking it up, I'm way more likely to do it. So someone asked me a question in the area of relationships the other day, and I said, perhaps you could get up every morning. Look at your spouse, ask this question of yourself, what one thing could I do that I'm not currently doing? That would convey to my spouse how much I truly love him or her. You see something you're not doing, you don't have the answer.

You're telling God in the universe, I'm open to hearing, seeing, saying or doing something I've never thought of before. I've seen these questions change lives. I did a webinar, my first webinar back in November, and at the time she was not a client of mine. She was my social media vet. And I mentioned that you could bring me just about any challenge. And in less than 20 minutes, I would have it totally reframed for you and have your strategic action plan in place.

So she digs in on the zone, which she says, can I say something? And I'm sure I had no idea what she's going to say. She said, Carol tells you it's 20 minutes. Don't believe her. And then she paused. She goes, it only took her two minutes yesterday morning from that.

Then she went on to say, and then my roommate came home that night and I had to I had to tell her no. Carol says she goes, I was healthy. I was able to help my roommate change her thought process. So you're going to refrain from focusing on what isn't working. Another thing that that same client said to me, I interviewed her on my Facebook live in January. She said something I've never heard her say, and I've known her since October of twenty eighteen.

She said, You want to know one of the main reasons I hired you? I said, sure. She said you had almost 30 years of successful sales experience. She goes, they don't teach you sales in law school. They don't teach you how to run a business in law school. They teach you the law about how powerful is that. Right. How powerful. Yeah, even I mean, even in business school, they don't really teach you sales.

I'm like I have a business management degree, but that's not where I've learned to create the things that I've done to this point. Right. It's been actually like feet on the ground. Let's sell the thing. And I was going from like a tiny little retail boutique right into teaching sales. That was easy. Like it's only three dollars to like, hey, it's going to cost you 30 grand. So let's have this conversation. And that confidence build for me came over decades of learning are decades not that old all over it.

And I love that about you that I heard decades and decades and decades old.

But I came through the process of actually failing forward into those those experiences and actually, again, relentlessly standing back up and trying again, just like when you got that hit by those guys, you were like, oh, no, like this might be fast. This might hurt. This might be hard, but I'm going to keep going because you had a vision for yourself that there was more there was more to the challenge. And I love what you said before about being uncomfortable, getting uncomfortable, being OK with being uncomfortable.

And that really is the power of the Reframing that's so critical for us, because if we stay in this comfort zone of, oh, I'm good enough at six, I'm good enough with the B, right. I'm good enough with the couple in a D, I'm good enough with this job. We stay in a place of mediocrity. We stay in a place of actually not really even mediocrity, but less than mentality because we think right here is the cap, right here is enough and everything else becomes impossible.

So talk to me about like how Reframing that possibility. Everything. What else is possible? How do you get people into that? It's almost like a child like mentality if you think about it, because my children always come up with possibilities. What if we did this? How about we do this and we can walk on water? Well, yes, you can. He did in the Bible, right? Again, I am like, well, yeah, let's talk about that.

Right. How do you stay in that child?

Like, what else is possible mentality? Learning to master empowering questions. I've been working to master them since twenty fifteen. And to your first point is I tell people the price of discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

Right. I love that it is. It is the only place we grow is outside of our comfort zone. Right. And often I find and I won't get too far off track.

But you brought up something else for me that's important is that there's a big difference between being committed to something and being convicted. Right. People people commit every day, don't they? They say I'm committed to this marriage for life until the day I'm not. But when you're convicted, you won't rest until you get it done. But you learn that your conviction and your comfort and your convenience don't live on the same block. They're not even in the same zip code.

So you have to be willing to get uncomfortable all empowering questions cause you to be curious, empowering questions. Take the emotion out of the conversation. It is powerful.

I taught breakfast. I spoke at a breakfast several months ago and I said, what if I gave you an empowering question? And they could take money off of the off the table when it comes to sales? Well, everybody wants to hear that, don't they write? Everybody wants to hear that. So I'll give you another example. I had a client. She when I had my office the first time she came to see me, she would write on time.

And she was like then she was later by the fourth visit. It was ridiculous. Right now I'm to shake your hand, give you a hug, girl. So she comes in, I give her a big hug, I sit her down, I get a grip. We're not going to miss this coaching opportunity. Just kind of like because we don't typically start like I'm serious. Get down to the first thing I want you to write down. I want your audience to write down how I do anything is how I give everything.

Yes. How I doing things. How I do everything. So she kind of looked at me sheepishly. Now, what do most human beings do when they're late to a meeting? They want to do what? Give you a definitive story? And I said to her, no, no, I don't need a story. This is not about you being late. She said it's not a go. No, she said, what's it about? I said, it's about where else in your life are you not showing up for you?

And she looked at me. She goes, What? I said, write it down. You pay me in advance for my time. I'm not giving you money back. And I'm not giving you extra time because I have a schedule of clients that I keep. Where else in your life are you not showing up for you? And she goes, Carol, is it my homework for the week I go, honey, that's your homework ad nauseum. I want it on your dashboard, I want it on your mirror.

I want it in your bathroom six to eight times a day out loud to God in the universe and do not try to figure it out. And she agreed to do that. A couple of months goes by. We're working on a business challenge. She sits up in her chair and her eyes are really big. I said, what's up? She said, That's another place. I'm not showing up for me. Exactly. And see, I asked her an empowering question.

They start with who, what, where, how. I didn't challenge her by why are you late? As she began to have these awarenesses, we were able to replace these unhealthy habits, if you will, with habits that's dipped her into leadership. We double the income in our business in six months. Testimonials on my website. So I'm really all about personal leadership and people don't understand that your business is only going to grow as much as you grow.

I mean, my experience in corporate America was watching people who were not into personal development and let's say they sold one hundred thousand this year at one hundred thousand and one hundred, then one year they sold three hundred thousand. They thought they were going to always sell three hundred thousand. Guess what they did. Went right back to seven hundred thousand. They didn't do the slow growth work to sustain that level. That's why I look at Michael Jordan when he was so good, he kept practicing to be able to sustain that level, to show up like that every day.

Every day, you guys, I have so many things to say and I'm taking so many notes, you better have a pen and paper out Carol you are just bringing the fire right now.

It's so critical for you guys to understand this because she's teaching from something that happens on a personal level that plays out in your professional level and vice versa. What happens in your professional level will also play out in your personal level. And so if we're approaching every single minute of every single day in the same authority and the same confidence going back to that and the same conviction, I love that word because it's something I've talked about on this show specifically is every time a new guest comes in, oftentimes not a close friend or a stranger, almost in the sense of me being convicted by something that they said.

And that's I being present and allowing myself to be here in this moment with you so that every part of me, my head, my heart, my feet can receive. And so I am so grateful for you for just pointing that specifically out. And I actually, for the first time ever yesterday, practiced this without knowing this is going to be our conversation conversation at all. I was challenged with this concept of what if and you said that the question could be who, what, where, when, how, how about when, how, where.

Never, never, never. Why, what, where and how. I got it. I got it. No win and no why. All right.

So the recognition of this question of what if and it was somebody coming in saying what they were letting go of, what they were taking hold of.

And if you were going to stand in your authority, your best, highest self today, what would that entail? What would that look like? And so everyone had a response. And the question that got probe that I had never heard before was what if and it didn't matter. It doesn't even matter for you right now. Specifically, what if what you're thinking, what if what you're believing is actually meant for you? It didn't happen to you, but it was meant for you.

And so I know what it's what if what if this moment right now is the conviction point for you to show up on time for yourself over and over and over again.

And we know habits, the old routine which build character. Yes. So talk to us more.

Give us some more examples. These are amazing and so applicable to every single one of us. Regardless if you're an athlete, regardless of your side hustle, regardless if you're a mom. I loved it from the parent perspective, that is really powerful. Thank you for that deposit as well.

Sure. I had a gentleman who was I did my first live speaking the last Friday. Was it last Friday, two weeks ago, two weeks ago at the club Fort Lauderdale. Oh, my gosh. Because I've done a lot of speaking on Zoom and all this, but the energy was incredible and it was a friend of mine's birthday. And so we had a cocktail afterwards in the late afternoon. And he said something to me that nobody's ever said before.

And he said, You have so much for what I call Carol the everyday woman. And I said, What do you mean? He said, Because you're in the business of me. You're in the business of personal leadership.

And even if you're a housewife, a mom, whatever you call yourself, how you lead you, how I do anything is how I do everything right. And he in and he said something very interesting. He doesn't know any of my clients. Right. He said. I love what you said about the jar. That's why everybody needs a coach, right? We're all in a jar. But what you do. I saw it in the room. He said, you take the lid off the jar and let the magic.

You unleash people's magic.

And I said, because I believe that everybody was put here on this earth with everything they needed inside of them. They just don't know how to ask the right questions to get the answers out. Does that make sense?

So does it really does. And I can definitely sense that being in person with people so glad that the things are shifting and people are able to do this again, because there is a connectivity alignment, there's an energy alignment. That's incredible.

And we know when two or more gathered regardless, regardless if it's through a screen or in person, that God shows up and God is the depositor of magic.

And he wouldn't have given you he wouldn't have created you without the intent of magic, without the intent of a miracle, because that's exactly who you are. And if we stand in that confidence every day, imagine if every single day you said you are the miracle, I am a miracle. What miracle moves would you make that day to affirm that validating comment? What I say to me is I'm a masterpiece because I was created by the master.

So good. That's one of the things that I say.

And I'm not really sure that I answered your question. I think I may have kind of gotten off on a tangent now.

It's amazing. I'm loving it. Well, I think it's important. You know, when you're talking about God, people ask me often, like we don't have time for this story. But 18 months ago, I sold my house of twenty six years. I thought I was going to live there forever. And God has seen fit for me to move nine times in 18 months. And try to focus on growing a new business right now. One of the things I teach on is that we create as we speak.

Exactly one year prior to this whole pattern, starting like the place I'm living now, I was put here to be a leadership, this young this young man and his girlfriend. There's no doubt in my mind the things that have already changed in here. They're actually shocked. Right. So I just keep trusting in the process. That's why it's key to trust in the process.

But a year before I sold my house, I gave my very first workshop at Kaiser University and it was called Leadership Colen Navigating a Successful Course in the Winds of Change. And that's exactly what came into my life. Think about it. Right.

And so there are things that I get, for example, my clients. We take the word failure out of the vocabulary. My clients, I get them into action without judgment. That's what's key. You get into action without judgment and we decide what worked, what didn't work. We celebrate in the time, what work, and then we make a midcourse correction. I kind of teach on this. I use a voting term. You said you're a surfer.

I use attacking is a voting term. It's one of the things I get my clients to do is to attack. But what's critical and I find this especially challenging for women is celebration, celebration, personal celebration. So I teach my clients. There's two things I want to give you, big ones. Successes in the attempt we redefine the word success successes in the attempt to mentor many years ago, look me in the eye and said Carol anything worth doing, anything worth doing is worth doing all for the first time because it got you into action and then you learn.

So my clients learn. We take certain steps. It may not work out exactly what they wanted it to, but they go. That was a learning lesson. And we we pivot, if you will, and we move on. The other thing I would tell your audience is. When I said professional athletes shows up every day, no matter what they feel like, right? Most of my clients will tell you, at least the ones that have shared with me, they have learned how to make better business decisions, not emotional decision.

And that starts with. Confidence is not a feeling how many of you are waiting until you feel confident, how many of you are waiting until you feel ready? If you if you wait, you feel like it, it won't get done because the here's the thing. You can act your way into feeling, but you don't feel your way into acting. You want an example of that? I do, and I want to sing over in my head, you can ask your way into feeling, but you can't feel your way into acting.

Yes, guys, this is so good. Carol. Yes. Give me your example.

I was going to several years ago in a toxic relationship, but one of the things one of the patterns that we developed over the relationships I get, unlike you, I get up early, I go do my thing, but I would bring up a cup of coffee to her and get back in bed and snuggle and that's it. Then when it came time for her to go, I was working from home. I'd walk up to her car, tell her how beautiful she wasn't.

All that. Every day. Every day. Well, this particular morning she had been very verbally abusive. The night before I hadn't slept well and I didn't feel like. I didn't feel like it. But I got into action and I did it anyway, and by the time it came time for her to leave and I was kissing her goodbye, her car, I felt a lot more loving because I got into action. If I had not done that, I could have sat at home and stood for days.

I could have been pissed off for days.

Right. Then I would have lost the beauty of my day. The beauty of my day, so there's power and choice in most people don't understand that every time they blamed the other one, they blamed the boss, they blamed the business. They blame the covid. You just gave up your power.

Right, quick story on that powerful, powerful story, so that same gentleman, Reggie, and he wouldn't care if I told you his real name.

He loves the publicity now, but he was in my office January of 19 and he was so mad for six minutes.

I'm sitting. There he is. Stand up, sit down, drop the F bomb f bomb the employees at work. F bomb the wife and her company. F bomb the kids in the butt, the budget with the cell phones or whatever. And I calmly sit there and said, just say I choose. After six minutes, he is shaking, OK, Carol, I chose I stood up, gave him a high five sit, sit down. Now that you're owning, that you're choosing, you can choose differently going forward, right?

And he looks at me and he says, yes, so I gave him homework and all those areas, I see him two weeks later, let me tell you, he came in dressed in a dress shirt for the first time.

Here's the homework for my wife's coming, the budget. Here's what I did with the kids in the budget. Here's what I'm doing. It was incredible. Incredible. Now, my client's twenty four hours before every session send me this form.

So we hit the ground running. I don't waste time in stories. Right. You get 150 percent of me when I show up. So one morning he didn't do it. And it came to see me, I gave him a hug, set him down. Now I want you to listen to what I said. I didn't say why. I said why didn't you say? I said, Reggie, I was looking for the performant and I didn't see it, you know, he said.

I chose not to send it, course he did, and then I said, what compelled you to make that choice?

Never ask why, why it's not going to get you the answers that you want. Said, what compelled you? And that was just a test because I teach my clients you don't give stories. Right? And so he started to give me a story. No, no, no, Carol. Those are just excuses I chose and I said you can choose differently going forward. He said he never missed another one. There's power and choice. That is and that is amazing.

I am all already thinking, like, how many times a day do I say why and how am I going to Reframing is like we would talk about my coach says he says weak ass language. He's like, that's weak ass language. When we say things that are like, I'm trying to or I would like to because it's not an activation of. Right. And so he the first time I met with him and similar, you said the same thing about somebody like set up in your chair and proudly proclaim the thing that you are doing, because right now, in this moment, you're actively moving toward that goal.

If we were like cozying up to a pillow talk right now, that would look really different.

Right. And even then, we would be propelling forward because it's important for us to have rest and it's important for us to leave and put our physicality in the mix of all the things of our dreams. Right. But we would be talking actively towards the thing I'm going to do tomorrow. And so it's so important for us to choose our language and choose our momentum. Right. Like we are the one choosing this relentlessness because otherwise relentlessness, which is the enemy, can choose you.

And it will. Right, because we know the storylines of being knocked down and having to get back up. That's relentless and that's grit. But so often people will get stuck. And a part of what you are so good at, this queen of the Reframing is like really helping people to achieve their goals, to help them let go and move past that component of being stuck. So talk to me through like the people who have maybe a dream, maybe they don't, but they're stuck in just a muck and they can't move past it because of perhaps the language they're speaking to themselves.

What does that what does that look like? What does that Reframing? I would say that Reframing is in two parts. My first question is they don't know who they were truly created to be. I haven't had a single client or a prospective client, even if they didn't hire me that knew who they were truly created to be. A quick example. I had another female family lawyer, a different lady owner practice for four years. And one of the foundational pieces I did with every client is they get clarity on who they were created to be because clarity gives you power.

So I craft personalized, customized, and I help them statements around whatever their challenges, their business is who they are. One of the statements I gave her back in the day when I had an office, they had to stand up and say this in front of me. Now I do it because I can see whether they own the or not. You can see it. And the statement I gave her was, I'm a powerful CEO of a fast growing law firm.

She looked at me like I had lost my mind, my law firm isn't growing. Why do you think I hired you?

So here's what I do for my clients when the leap is too big. Right. Because sometimes the leap is just too big. Everybody needs to remember this phrase. I give myself permission to consider. And that's where she started for that particular statement, I give myself permission to consider that I'm a powerful CEO of fast growing law firm and I don't know if it was two months, three months, but she walked in one day. She was already taller than me and she had on heels.

So I'm looking up at her upper chest. Down she goes. I'm a powerful CEO of a fast growing law firm.

I like yeah, her testimony, the testimonials on my website. She got more clients in six months of working with me than she had in the first four years of her practice. Part of that was owning what she had, a fast growing law firm. The Bible says call things that aren't as though they are in this building. And then we see. Right. Oh, good, I love that parallel. Yes, I do that for every one of my clients.

It's it's radical. It.

Oh my gosh, I could just tell you so I could say you're such a good storyteller. I love it so much.

And you guys, I don't know if you've ever even tuned in to any of my other podcasts, Carol, but oftentimes I'm like so ready to jump in. I'm so ready to like, oh my gosh, you said this, you said this. I feel this. Let me share this. And I am just copiously taking notes. And it's so important that people are receiving this message because these are the types of messages that literally change the trajectory of your life.

They change the trajectory of every person that you interact with, even thereafter. And if we are meant here to connect, we are meant to be here to love one another as thyself. Yes, she's teaching you right now in this moment first to love yourself based on that worth, based on that calling, based on the fact that you were made as a masterpiece by the master. And then what happens thereafter, that change of confidence, that change of shoulder raising, that change of like being able to hold your head high is because you are now manifesting that in truth by your actions and other people are now affirming you in that.

And we're not here to be affirmed by the world. That's not our role or our role is to love. Right. Our role is to show up. Our role is to be relentless for Jesus.

When we do that, we recognize that mirror moment with ourselves, where we stand in authority with what he has promised us, the identity of who we are as daughters and sons. Everything else is. It's that unleash of the magic, right? It's the opening of that jar. It really is.

And I said this was in two parts. And that was the first part. The second part, and I talk about this in some of my talks, is that I believe this is this is a response to your question about people who are stuck, that I had a coach say to me one time, perhaps you could just change the words stuck with stubborn. We won't go there today. But think about it. Think about it. Right.

Because you're choosing your choosing until you own that, you're choosing. So the next thing I would tell you is I believe God only gave me a lamplight for my feet because all I need to do is take the next step.

So I'm telling you, if you feel stuck one.

Professional athletes and business owners don't make decisions based on feelings. That's the first thing I'll tell you. The second thing is what is one bite sized digestible thing that you can easily accomplish? Do it and celebrate like crazy. And then pick another one, because the universe honors what you celebrate. We talked about what you what you focus on, what I focus on expands. That's how people make mountains out of molehills. That's how people make you. I'm sure you know who Joyce Meyers is, right?

Oh, yeah, I love her. You've seen her on stage when she says how people think about it. Talk about your neighbor, think about it, talk about it.

Tell your friend it becomes right. Yeah. But here's the key thing and another thing about what I love about what I do. I want you all to think about this. The quality of your life. Is determined by the quality of conversations that you have and the quality of conversations that you have is determined by the quality of questions that you ask if you're not asking the right questions. You're not getting the right answers. I mean, even Voltaire said many years ago, do not judge a man by his answers.

You judging by questions like how did how did Walt Disney create Disney, Disney World? His question was, what one thing can I do to create the happiest place on Earth? You just kept putting that out there, putting it out there. And what if everybody goes happy? Right. Language is language is powerful.

It really is. And there is a component of belief system based on the words coming out of your mouth. And the same thing is true, whether it's to your own mental mess. Right. Dr. Caroline Leap, are you familiar with her? She just came out with a mental mess, a new book. She's a researcher around our connectivity, our body and our mind are doing with trauma as well as positive and the root systems that have and then take place when things like that occur, uprooting and replanting and all the things.

She's incredible. I would definitely recommend to check her out, but she has just recently was talking about this and knowing that words are also deposits. And so just like your dad deposited that and you said that you dealt with this three times in your life from three different people and it kept becoming a roadblock in your life. You kept coming back to that moment and you had a choice to stay stuck, to stay stubborn. Right. And let that be the end to your story.

I didn't because this person said I did it because this person didn't believe I did it. Talk about mental mess because I didn't think I could do it, that I wasn't able.

And so we have this chatterbox constantly going in our head that actually deters us and distracts us from the thing got it planned for us to do. And so getting in touch with the own words that allows you to reject and receive external forces in that mind space that are positive rather than negative. Absolutely. That I listen, just tell your monkey mind when it comes up with stuff like that, just go. Thank you for sharing, but I'm going to keep going.


So good. Thank you. Crash the chatterbox. Even Fertik has crashed the chatterbox. That and the mental detox one by Ron Carpenter Jr.. Holy cow. Those those were life changing for me a few years ago. So if you're the stuff person that's being too stubborn, check those out. Check out everything that Carol has for you guys. She actually has a giveaway today. What is it that you want to share with the audience that's listening in its five spots?


What I'm trying to think of what I gave away sometimes to five people who by Carol's book, get a 90 minute clarity, CORE clarity to cash call clarity to cash.

OK, that's more than just a clarity call. Clarity to cash. Call five people who buy her book. So tell us about the book. Tell us about the reason that you've unpacked all of the things.

Probably not. No, not at all. It's actually a collaborative book with fifteen other amazing women who are overcomers who will inspire you. I mean, things that they've been through that they have now reframed in a turnaround and making massive positive change in the world. It's incredible. It's called women who borsa secrets from women who are owning their health, their wealth and their willingness to create a lifestyle that they love.

Like I you get to hear a lot more than just me. There's some just amazing, amazing people and they are good. I provide you the link you did already on that.

Yeah, it's already on their first people.

But first up, people that by the book. Right. And you can email me, you can PM me and Facebook, whatever you want to do. So I bought the book. You know, I'm going to make you I'm going to go check the receipt. It'll be in there. Let me just give you an example of 90 minutes with me. Yeah, and it's an 88 percent discount, by the way, from what people normally pay. No, I just said I did that incorrectly.

You're getting it free. I've been selling it recently for ninety seven dollars and that's an eighty percent discount where you are. Yeah, I that's right.

But one lady two weeks ago bought the ninety seven point ninety minutes you talk about stuc got her totally clear on what was holding her back, was keeping her stuff, got her an action plan in place, sent her on her way with homework and told her I wanted an e-mail from her in two weeks.

She said OK. Six days later, six days, not two weeks, I get an email from her, oh my God, omg, omg, I don't know how you did that, but I got two new clients this week. I added seventy five people to my email database and on and on and on Scheeler.

I get people into action, I'm really good at that and I'm good at getting people unstuck. Well, I don't know about you, but I have to be in this chair during this call, but if we were not, I would be pacing right now because this is so good overflow you all.

That's what 90 minutes with her is. It's uncapping unleased unleashing the magic. But she's also depositing her own magic into you. And there is nothing better than to have that connectivity towards someone who has not only shown up, but been taught also.

Right. She had the experience. She has the expertize. And we're going to talk about it.

Ninety seven dollars when I get off the call, because you're worth way more than that. Yeah, this is good. I did it. I did it because I'm the queen of Reframing. Three weeks ago when everybody was focused on Texas in the bed, I said, you know, I thought, how can I help people Reframing? So I called it a snowmageddon call.

I love it. Evan Snowmageddon call. It ends March 20. Whenever spring starts, I'll do something else. But no, I don't. This the first time I've ever sold it for ninety seven dollars.

And that may be but it was, it was a give back.

Well anybody live is going to hear that because this won't roll out until after that goes away. So if you were alive you it is your lucky day. I see roads, I see Gina. You guys better get that book and get on that call. That is so powerful. We are so appreciative of you. Carol at the very beginning of our conversation, you were you were going down a list. You said show up every day, no matter what they feel like, sometimes be willing to practice when everyone else is resting.

Can you go down with the next couple of ones are the next one is you must be willing.

To do things repetitively and you get to choose what type of attitude you have, right? Until you master it, so when I was at tennis at LSU, we'd have two and a half, three hour practices, it was hot. You're tired. I sounded so tired. That comes out sometimes. Our coach often would pair you up with somebody and you knew what was coming. There are certain people you did not want to be paired up with because, you know, there's the court and then there's the alley.

And she put one of us on one end and one on the other end, and I had to hit one hundred four hands in the alley without missing while they hit one hundred yards without missing.

And if you didn't finish by dark, you were then sent over to the stadium to run Miles. You have to be willing to do something repetitively, you have to be willing to start over. Right. I told you that we take failure out of the vocabulary, but I heard someone say something really powerful the other day, he said failure is just another place to begin, but this time with more experience. I. OK, I'll get back up.

I feel like that wisdom comes into play, right? It's like that knowing and this being able to just literally turn it around and share it and give it to other people. And I think that's the power of actually sharing stories. That's the power of your testimony. It's the purpose of your message. Right. You've been in a mess for Cheney to a message. You've heard this before. You had pain. You're turning it into purpose, right?

If you don't share that, you are blocking other people's blessings.

Oh, listen, you are so I tell people this is in most of my thoughts and I say I think God went to a lot of trouble. To give every one of us a fingerprint that nobody else has, nobody's ever had it, nobody's ever had. That's how special you are. But. You need to leave a unique handprint on the world, and you can't do that if you're hiding. What does the Bible say, don't hide your light under a book, right?

If you're lacking confidence, you're lacking clarity. Talk to me, talk to me. So it's time to step into your purpose.

One of the gals listening right now, she says, I need to watch this replay because it's so full of goodness. I am torn between taking notes and soaking it all in.

And that is exactly like the period on this conversation. And I know that there are more there are more than just three, four tactics that you're sharing. I can't wait to find out what they are. So you guys have to get her book. You have to take advantage of this 90 minute call, Jean, about the book. She does that. I just bought it. So good. So excited. So you're going to be talking to her soon.

I'm just so grateful for you. Is there any, like, last minute? What's the first of two questions? Where is the best place for people to get in touch with you? Because we have all of your links. But are you on Instagram the most Facebook? Where do you show up?

I'm on Facebook and then LinkedIn, the most my social media for working on the Instagram piece. But I'm on Facebook the most. And LinkedIn send me a direct email. I answer awesome.

I love that so much. And then as far as a forsight goes, give us give us the big dreamers Carol going with all of this energy and momentum and relentlessness.

You know, it's interesting because one of the things I've learned. Is it oftentimes the path that you fear the most is the one you're meant to be on and back in two thousand fifteen or twenty sixteen? I had a friend look at me and say, CORE, Carol, do you want to build a coaching empire or do you want to coach on the side and sell these other services? Right. Because they had the mindset that I was a salesperson and I said I just want to coach people selling their services.

Nobody my family's ever owned their business. Some people know me as the reluctant entrepreneur there. So there is so many stories I haven't told you about being the reluctant entrepreneur.

Right. But God had a path and he keeps providing and all these things I'm going through. Right. Are are just lessons. And so my big picture is is twofold. I see myself in front of on big stages, in front of big crowds and large numbers of people. And my idea for a coaching business is I want it to be like family.

So, for example, on my staff would be a finance coach, a health coach, a business coach. So when you come in, you come into the family, right. Maybe you need three months of working on your relationship and you're good, but your business is a mess or your finances are a mess. You don't have to leave. I love that. Yeah, that's where we're going. I love that so much, I am going to be along for the ride.

I am excited about that because we know that our health, our wealth and our wellness, those three things that that book, it's so much more than just what the eye sees right. There are the relational needs, the emotional needs, the wellness needs, the spiritual needs, our business and professional lives. Sure. But that's not why we're here solely right. There's much more to that element, to that wholeness factor. And so I really believe in you, Carol.

I believe in the wholeness that you're providing other people in their coaching experience with you. I have a feeling a lot of people come for one thing and they leave it with dozens. And so I got to go onto a site and just receive the reviews that everybody's left that you've mentioned. And I know you already have established a family, and so I'm excited to be a part of it from now moving forward. And I thank you so much for your time and your blessings and deposits today.

God wink Carol. You're amazing. Queen of the Reframing. You just did it again by.

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