• Morgan Hart

Radical Grace: Learning To Lay It All Down – With Jess Lynne Black

Let’s talk about radical grace.

I need you to catch this – “Life isn’t happening to us it’s happening for us.” We have to come into recognition of purpose and plan. To take an aerial view on our lives instead of a front-driver placement of control in our problems and even in our blessings. We are not in control!

It is by our surrender that we begin to live life in abundance. Realizing that God gives us the radical grace we need for each and every day.

Do you know this stuff? Have you heard about it before? Do I sound like a broken record?

I still think even in redundancy it is necessary for us to unlearn, daily laying it all down. With fresh eyes, he will reveal newness to you just as he did continually and still does to today’s beautiful guest. Jess Lynne is being used as an expressive voice for the Kingdom, displaying the understanding of Radical Grace within her life and the relationships she leads. She just touches the service of her personal testimony here so absolutely go follow her and learn the depths of her why and how she’s living an e. lifestyle.

radical grace

Connect with her here:

Show Notes: Radical Grace

Hey, I have a camera address, I’m your fitting podcast, so I upto me your… Just me. No words, no scripts, no interest, no altos. I love authenticity, I hope to breed vulnerability, and I usually do this alongside another Dreamer mover shaker entrepreneur, passion is A… Is what I love to call them, if you’re a dude, then a dude, but I am loving, just coming together in community with other people to share their high and low stories, to share their journeys to come back, because I believe ultimately that for God would have us he would have us on the mountain top, and even though we learn a ton in the pit and in the valley, God would manuscript now, especially in this season of life, in this time of our culture to shine.

And so here I am, I want to teach you how to shy, I wanna be alongside you when you get your glow, I wanna capable to… In your calling, whatever that is. So this isn’t a fitness podcast, this is my religious banter that week, Jesus all day long, and this is not just about nutrition or health or wealth, now I lack some greed and I know you do too, it’s not okay for us to not be okay with talking about all of these things that Ian, you guys, we don’t… Nissan mental health podcast, we don’t just need a fitness podcast, who don’t just need a religious spiritual protest. It needs to win.

This is what fit in, things all about, it’s all about frontline men methane, it’s about pursuing your wholeness and playing it over your life and over the line, a loved one that you have around your career. So thank you for coming again. I would love to get to know anymore, you subscribe, whatever it is, a email is me, have an amazing team alongside, but you guys are gonna keep her down so enjoy, I’m so have to have a pocket conversation with you is what I’d love to call up, don’t have my coffee right now, but I have it in my system as you can see, all the love. Let’s do this together and keep going, retinop.

Hey guys, we are live in the studio, and I wanted to jump on Facebook really quick or Instagram really cooked too, just to let them know that we are live over on my Facebook page is The so the song, the ERA. So this is a podcast that has been a long time in the making… Literally since January that we do the Bob CAS, so we’re really excited about it. Tune in on Facebook for all to face people face with people already here. What’s that?

This is gonna be a good one, so I’m gonna turn this up so I can be not distracted.

So I’m here in the studio with somebody who is very similar to me in regards to her multi-passionate spirit, we wanna do all the things all the time.

And it’s like so much fun, and I love living life with somebody who understands that and gets it and doesn’t feel ever at any point we have the pigeon hole ourselves as women, as mothers, we get to do all of these things simultaneously, and I really believe that you’re still walking in to some of those passions, and as I… And I just think it’s so fun to have that as a part of our friendship, but of course, knowing ultimately above all of the things that we are daughters of the King first. Yeah, and so in those passions, finding and pulling out the parts of us that are ordained and not just something that we’re cultivating ourselves, because I think it’s easy to do that when you do have it multi-passionate, I for suits.

That is… Yeah, yeah, I just feel like for so many years, I did things on with striving has like in my own power and it never satisfied. I never satisfied and always like How to do more… Yeah, or be more than… Or shallower. Yeah, and it was exhausting. Yeah, it is, it’s… So last was literally just had that conversation too on the way here, because I hear this here a little bit in… I was talking… My mom saw me on the road and just stop texting while you’re driving. I’m like, Dang, and I am doing that.

I like, what are you… I didn’t even in the year, and she’s literally at my Reverend my time, but she’s like, What are you doing? I’m like, Oh, I just left one job and I’m walking into my passion place, and you know, when you’re doing something out of passion and out of joy versus doing something that’s stripping you of that energy… Yeah, yeah, you feel like you have to like… You don’t even have to, but you feel like you have to, I… And it’s… That’s just like I’ve learned this year, that is about God gives us a spirit of peace in the sound line and all these feelings of anxiousness and stress and striving like this are straight or Amy is the same as for they are all mass. Absolutely were.

And so this year just really been taking those down and laying them down, and it is scary, it is still… Seat feels to be on the other side of that is a freedom that I’ve never experienced before, and I think the reason ’cause I’m thinking of just saying it’s scary and stuff… Is because that’s all we’ve ever known.

Yeah, not because we’ve ever should know life that way, but that’s what we’ve been taught and how we’ve walked out life for so long that when you change anyway, anything… And I’m actually a proponent of change, I like to tie, I’ve always liked to change, but at the same time, when it’s something that’s so internal… Yeah, I… It becomes really hard. It does, because there’s still those societal pressures to you… It is a rare or… Yeah, be normal or what I heard that… What even does that mean? I know, I know I got to good at bee, we were all normal.

I don’t wanna be normal and be everything that God created me to be, and this year has just been… You’ve helped so much with really helping me pull those things out and just see that there is so much more to life, more to radical grace, languages learned some of the things that we think are supposed to be… Yeah, normal.

It’s so that… And as much as I am such a proponent of learning all the time, I think that concept of un-learning is equally as important because that is also a… You have to pursue unknowing, right. Every day I… And that is something that not striving, but it’s like if you take a break, it’s a mile, you have to make that… You have to make it a habit. Oh, totally, because if you don’t, you kinda just get a… You just get back into the hands and not even a purpose, you don’t mean to do it, but true to its secretions, to were… Yeah, I see it as more a ever, but it’s one of them definitely probably the most satisfying conscious effort that I’ve ever met, it’s really good is… This is on a year ago, a year, and I haven’t even officially introduced a, so… Yeah, I’ll talkative and how our lives a became… Is that like a… Is a girl. Yeah, that’s great. She does so many things, but at the end of the day, she just gets to be… And that’s been such a process of watching unfold for the course of the last year, that without all of those things that you’re still you… Yeah, and yet those parts of you also are amazing, people love… So she is a boutique owner and cultivator for years, so she’s always has her fashion as on point, even on her mom days, I always love wondering what she’s gonna wear ’cause she always has a top of something, it might not be a A or her lead friends and they were going, this area that’s so good, and then also he is kind of doing something new, which I’m excited to talk into a bit here as well, and then even your pursuit of your faith has been in an envelope experience this year. One by one, I feel like that’s been the biggest pursue this year, is finding just finding the meaning, What am I starting for in my humor, what is it all equate to?

And I think it’s hard to… Because as that has unfolded, it’s not just a matter of your placement in that it’s like the roles that you play in your life that you’ve gone through it, why we can so often say like, Why am I here, but then also, why are these things happening? And trying to comprehend them duly, is really different to… Yeah, and so many different places in the Bible will point out, this is why this is happening. This is why this is a… Yeah, but when it’s actually happening, it’s so hard to remember that. Or even look for it.

Yeah, I think that’s true. I think it’s so important to… For me, it has been this year to surround myself with people like you and our session group, and just people that are strong in their faith, but also walking through their own things, because it’s so great to see how holy spirit has been working this year on radical grace and now, the girls seeking out with and stuff is that it overlaps so much and you can really see that the things in this book are true, it… It’s been a joy and a crazy ride, but it’s so… It’s just send so great. Is it really, really amazing? And I think Apple Shin that in the amazing… We share tears. Gosh, I make… We shared probably not some good biblical word. Yeah, you know the frustration and the anger and the confusions and the sadness, heart break, it all happens together. And if we can stop trying to dissect why it’s happening to us and really approach it… That is happening for us. Yes, that’s my favorite night, because once you… Once you realize, once you really take that in and believe that that life does not happen to you, and that’s what the enemy really wants us to believe, and that things just happen to you, I just just hard because… If that’s true, I E that.

Why was the point? What’s the point? And why would you need a Sarin God?

So it’s just like this huge line that I realized, I realized this year that like, wow, I believed that life for a long…

I mean, for the majority of my adult, my whole in online to this year, right.

And when you really wrap your mind around, life does happen for you and everything lines up.

Yeah, it’s just a… It’s really overlap it, even our friendship, ’cause we haven’t owned about each other, and I furore ally a long time live in the same community and go to the same place, and the friends are almost a… A edges. If there’s so many APs, but God was like, Nope, not. Not yet, not yet. And then this… You’re just having a speed… We were a part of so many things together, I feel like we see he early… It’s porth awareness of the fact that it’s so intentional and that he is so intense in His love for us that He could hold somebody from you even when they’re right and Friar nose and say, it’s not the time. Yeah, a, also the time and also in the opposing view of saying they all take… He’ll take people out with the same purpose of, they are not right for you in this season. Yeah, and I know both of us had experienced that letting go this year, it’s not fun, it’s not a… So talk a little bit about what that was, knowing and you’re pursuing something so good, but simultaneously so much bad or hard is happening in relationships of all kinds.

What did that feel like? How to do press pass that… What if the potion… You know, you have a dispenser, it wasn’t all at once, it was like a little bit for each day, and actually, you are someone that told me earlier this, you’re like, I will give you the grace you need to… Each day. Yeah, everybody says that. Yeah, sure. For fact, I think I was at one of our core meetings, he said it, and it tells them I just like that day, you can hear things a lot of times, so it just really illuminated in me that day, and I think it was the blank back in many toting. Yeah, but it is really true. Each day I have… We get to choose, yeah. So each day I just choose. Today, I’m gonna… What do you have for me today? God, what is it that you want me to learn or hear from you today?Radical grace

And not worry about tomorrow. Or next month or next year? Because at the beginning of the year I was doing that, it was Canada a. and it’s a like we burden ourselves with these things because by the Bisley should be very about tomorrow.Yeah, I… It has the, I have worries and troubles, and he gets us what we need each and every day, so when you really just like life is happening to you. And he or you, just like that, when you really grasp that and you really just take hold of that and say like, Okay, I’m gonna hold onto this. Yeah, it just changes that cause it changes your heart, it changes your mindset, it changes the way that you love other people, that’s so I… And the hard part of that is that you want everyone to have that at the same time as you, because then it would make it easier. Yeah, but a lot of my journey this year has been having to do that and not receiving that from other people, and that’s okay. I’m learning at first, I didn’t like it at one of learning that just like our friendship. We’ve known each other for a long time. In the same situation, it’s like, you know this, but it’s not their time. Everything happens at the right time for that person or for a relationship at the perfect time, and it’s never our time… No, and I… Yeah, hard things, ’cause everything… ’cause we’re so innately involved in ourselves is that we think everything that’s happening, whether it’s happening, even if you have the mind that it’s happening for us, you still… They have a play in your life and you’re like, Why is? Aren’t they doing this?

Exactly right. But in hind, set’s not, it has nothing. It’s not about us.

It’s really not… And are all in all not… Yeah, and even to take from the perspective of that and out of that mindset and space of love, like us, knowing that without reciprocation, we would still love that person the SAN way, and that’s something I’m actually doing right today, I get that today. I actually was in a conversation yesterday with an old friend of mine, he’s known me and Gary before babies, I just not in his face at a whole remotely… Well, tell me to my face that I’m crazy. Whatever. But he’s curious. I am appreciative. I E Like that even with the… No, he has to. Otherwise, he wouldn’t pursue like our friendship or the… These de… Right, ’cause you can see how God is using that so you… Oh, we can do other people… Yeah, so he said he was talking about some family dynamics and things going on in my life, and he just was asking about how people were and when I didn’t really have a response ’cause I actually didn’t know the answer, he was just like, That’s not okay, Tamera. You’re supposed to be Christian, you this, you need to get that together. And it was like a check point where I was like, Well, first off, you don’t know we need the details, right, but secondly, I needed to take a step back from even having that as my response, and I was just like, You’re right.

You’re actually right, because there’s so many callings, biblically telling us how to pursue situations, the hard situations, even when we’re not in the reciprocal placement and people aren’t loving us or treating us way back, is these places of forgiveness and just like God forgave us without any expectation and the fact that He pursues us daily, we need to love like Jesus radical grace and we’re so daily too.

It is a hard thing to do.

It’s so hard to see a hotelie.

I got these little C little life.

They are like prayer cards. Yeah, I used to subscribe to this thing called faith, but okay, that I was getting a flat out them and I had to pass it for a little bit cause I was like, Okay, I have so many books to read, some stickers, but I came with this pack of little cards, and they were… It said prayer cards, but it wasn’t really a prayer, it’s just like these really great quotes with like that… Like they’re not quotes from the Bible to an opinion, right. somebody’s opinion, but it’s backed with structures, so the time estate read, okay, and I have this one that was so good, it says, I wanna say it right, it’s like a 100 one day and God’s grace is better than a thousand days on our… Or something like that. Yeah, we’re not in some… A lot of the lines of estate, I have that above my life, so I in my room and I just love it so much because I’m like, How many times do you go in and out of your room at a… In the mom, you’re like, Oh, I forgot this, I forgot that, I forgot. It’s like my glasses like, you know, all these things. But when I wake up in the morning, turn the fan off, that’s the first thing a EE, and I love that because it just reminds me every day, I do as it raced for one day, just for one day, and it’s like… We don’t have to worry about tomorrow. I don’t have to worry about, is this is the end all be all. Today, it’s just like race, and sometimes it’s even for me, I’ll change it to you for this moment, like for right now is in a conversation right now.

Yeah, and I… It is a challenge, it is hard, but it’s like a joy feel, it’s hard, it is like so fulfilling and exhausting at the same time, and I don’t even know if that makes sense, but now it does, if you’re not experiencing it, you might not understand… That’s true, because I think for me, for my life, I can… On the entirety of my life, living out a life of happiness, it was My pursuit, right, whether my happy was in my finances, my role as a mother or my role as a wife, or having all the friends into all the parties, whatever it be, I was pursuing happiness, even with all of those coverings of other titles and other tangible… And when I stepped away from all of those things, even in the midst of them stepping away from being a wife, while being a wife, stepping away from being a mother while being a mother, it’s a very hard thing to do and a huge part of my testimony but it was when Joy replaced happiness. Yeah, and it’s so… So it is a… It’s like this place of, you have to be empty before he got you a… Yes, yeah. You have to pour out, you have to be willing.

First off, to be willing… Yeah, and then it takes an immense amount of surrender, I mean, we are conditions at the eternal… Yeah, whatever you wanna call it.

I do other words, but I can I say the buyer base, I think that this is the way, it’s an end all be all, it’s supposed to be this way, this normal… That’s the normal reaction to this, this is not okay, and I’m like, When you really… Or when you unlearn and you just really like surrender to his radical grace and say like, Okay, all this time if I can like all this time, these are things I’ve done, this is what I did, and what any eelam happy I may still striving for that happiness is like having this is I… And in opinion, I… That’s a… It is a not the…

SO they Haynes is not fake on these… In the self-help section, Barnsley on Amazon, and there’s over 5600 titles. I heard that at church this serious, we get my pastor to be happy, 56, 000-something something titles. Self-help books, I E… What are self-help books about being happy or messing up or live these things is… It’s just incredibly… You can get caught up in that so easily, the whole love yourself.

I mean, I mean, I think it’s great, we… We should love ourselves, we are made in the image of that, we should not loving yourself and looking in the Marin saying, I’m fat or… It is basically saying, My God, you didn’t do a good job. Okay. But I can only attest that because I’ve been on both sides of the mirror, I’ve been the person… Yeah, and I’ve also been the person that is a… Marion is like, Hey, I don’t really love these stretch marks, but they made my two beautiful babies that are super healthy and yeah, they’re there, they’re a part of me out, but I don’t hate them anymore, I love them because it’s a reminder of the amazing creation and gift that I have.

Yeah, so it is a mindset shift, but the surrender part, the emptying out and the pouring out, when you really empty your bucket and you like… And you can start by just poking some holes in it, as it is really scary to do the thing out the window and be like, Alright, let’s do up like a a. but for me, I did, I just made a conscious choice every day to to ask what you eat on today. Good. And at first, for the first few months, I really struggled even in my own cells of… Is that me? Is that me telling myself that or is that you… Right, but once you… It’s just like any habit, these not home, it’s like, Oh, start your day with gratitude. That’s great. And I do that, I do that.

But what are what everything grateful for, like I have, have the choice to have to be able to change and to be filled with joy, joy is what we should be chasing outermost, absolutely not happiness, because it is meeting, it’s an emotion of the heart, and we know about our heart is to see full… So everybody thinks… A lot of people, I shouldn’t say everybody, a lot of people think If I get this job, I’m gonna be more happier if I make this amount of money, or if I get this promotion, or when I get this car, when I paid this student loan off… We can… Anatolian, I can go to Target and spend this amount of money without checking, it’s like none of those things. They’re gonna satisfy. I can say that because I’ve tried it all.

I, I have now the new atascade, the of the and I.And the only thing that has filled me up in a way that I didn’t even know was possible is Jesus, and it comes with… At a great cost, right? You have to be willing to lay down the things of this world.

It’s hard. It’s hard to live in the world and say, I’m a daughter.

Yeah, I’m thinking… And I don’t, in my Ashanti live here, but I’m not very well. I wanna talk to so in… Yeah, and that’s a part of it. That’s part of what you’re laying down is your and go.

And there firsthand what people have of you towards you, what they say about radical grace… In a bigger capacity than just lay down your bank account or laid out… It’s not that stuff, I get that. It’s what other people think about all of those things.

Yeah, and our relationships, because we are relational beings, we put so much weight in that role, relationships that then can affect everything else, but if vertically, we can align ourselves with the relational God who always loves, who always reciprocate. Yeah, and the heart-broken pieces are not there because he’s the one restoring, right, that we can come into alignment with that, that true joy.

Yeah, even on the hardest days.

So you were talking about like kind of yourself in the two sides of the mirror, I wanna touch base on that because I think it’s so vital to who you are today, and I know as you were going through your pouring or out this year, and releasing all of these old things, it was really hard for you to even come up with how am I supposed to still pursue this job or this to title when it’s not even what I’m trying. I don’t wanna sell it, don’t go, Yeah, I’m doing it because it makes ends meet for my family, and I love people, but how can I change my mindset towards what I’m doing And sellout of passion rather than… Yeah, I talk about that because I know it’s a lot of… We’re used to a…

I’m a busy one, and I also have… I make Bester years. I was caught up in the leverage, me on, but I was caught up in that.

Pull up your re-girl can strap your bids on… You are a BA, like, You can do this.

You know, I netherton that I… I like, I would hit the button. You Atelier.

And it was just exhausting. And so when I started down this path this year of kind of just laying some things down, you just come to eventually to a point, everybody comes to a place they’re like… I obviously don’t know anybody who’s like, Oh yeah, just one day I just was having a great life and decided I’m gonna change my life and make it still great, like I really don’t know anybody like super strange or feed that didn’t meet that.

Jesus, to come and help them in His radical grace.

So true. So I can’t think of a single person, if you know of somebody, let me know a Asianet sometimes I’m like, who really like…

No, not anybody, not did anybody that I look at that I ministers there and come on our story. It’s like… True, it’s so inspiring to know. It’s like, you know, when you choose to walk it out, so I ramble, but getting back on you a good…

I did not want to… It was like a site between my spirit in the true… Just land inside of me, and the person that everybody thought I was, and I’ve realized, I feel like if I try that for a long time, the Justin that everybody thinks, or the perception that everybody had of me was only 50% true, I had been hiding for so long, the person that I really am, the person that God created me to be, this passion for helping others and just this really justice personality, I get so fired up when things are unfair… Yeah, or… And so… And I’m not talking about I’m fair in a sense of he rose, she is here, Leighton, that deep issue.Injustices in our world, I get really… I cry about them, I… It’s a passion that I honestly probably would have never asked for… Yeah, because it is exhausting, but I have these businesses and they’ve been such a blessing to me because… I started my first business when I was pregnant with Charlie.

The imine pregnant was so second brass, I had to figure out something I do see told me about this, and I was like, I say, I’ll try that and and it just take off, so I just got swept up in that and I wasn’t network marketing. It has been a huge blessing for my family, and I’ll probably always be a proponent and member of that industry just because it’s just been such a posting to me and I and I have first-hand experience of how it really can change your mindset, change your life. But at the same time, we were talking about earlier, I’m really multi-passionate, and there is other things that I wanted a…

I don’t think I know that I wasn’t just born to help other people start businesses, that is something that I love to do, and I definitely love it, but I know it’s not like the calling on my life. Right, right. And so this year, the Lord really began to reveal that to me like, Okay, I really… You have these passions. And it wasn’t bad. I literally did argue a lot for time like, I don’t really wanna do that, I don’t…

I don’t see one, I light…

I just didn’t wanna change anything, and I know that change is good, but sometimes it’s so uncomfortable, I… Especially like I said, when all these other people have a different perspective perspective of you, like I… We walk through the same exact thing and I’m like, Wait, how am I supposed to come to the table as this whole version of who I… And when everybody thinks the whole me was I was this person and I can… In Oregon, a come out, so I can’t even remember this, it in here, but I… I was reading the other day, somewhere in the new ESSA, I think when I wore a pass, but about being a new creation of so do you literally have your same body and as you… But we are new creations on the inside of some people, you know that, especially if they’re not even talking with the Lord, not even a tenet.

Probably, I do not know. But it really is, look, we can look around on us in our close to friends and see that… So any timesharing. So it’s easy to walk out when you’re surrounded by believers, but when you walk into our room, that’s not the… Have this perception of who you are and who you’ve always been and are really unwilling to see or even acknowledge… Yeah, the new creation that you are… That’s hard, that’s where you have time, ’cause my flesh will be like… Go back in.

Yeah, the one we worked… Right, I’ll mesh back into that site every… Sure, and now I’m confrontational.

So I like to… It’s like you lowered these like…

Not expectations, but you just take everything down to like, Alright, well, they’re never gonna change or they’re never gonna listen, and it’s like, But that’s not what you walked through all that for, and you didn’t walk through the things for the people who are cheering you on, it is for the people that when you walk into the room, they’re like, No way, yeah, she’s never gonna change, or that’s who we were always gonna be a… And that has been hard, that has really been hard, so I’m still kind of walking through that trying to figure out how do I… With my boutique, I had a name, we are open for a few years in… Earlier this year, I had to shut it down and re-brand and that is a really hard thing, I mean, it’s like I like… Or maybe I was like, and take for you.

I do as I like. But in that, my sister, it… But I bet I… And I’m like, Did I do in… It’s like when you can acknowledge that, no, actually just… You didn’t do any that. I gave you that. I gave that team that was a gift, and it was for learning purposes, and you’ve learned the lesson, and so now I’m asking you to lay it down… Yeah, and do the something different. I am too. Yeah, yeah, and that was really hard. I know we started the tape and I cried over it, I liked it, I was born… I don’t wanna talk about it so many times, but once he kinda worked through that, I found… Coming around the core table really is where I found like Michel had that prophetic word too, like, Okay, and Amanda, just… You don’t have to lay it down, I really don’t think that you’re used to it to… That is something that you’re pushing about, God gave you that passion and… But what if he’s like, just asking you to use it for him and not for you, or for worldly things now, and so I’m still lacking that out… Yeah, it has been hard because for me, I’m still learning how to be okay with losing a client…

I stayed in a tree.


With my tests, I am out, got a I or… It’s reminding that story where they went from, what was it, 300 men to 300 men, and it’s like, I’m starting with this big network and this client lesson I can see each month and has gone to…

I do a lot more, a little bit more, and I sometimes find myself relapsing into that… I need the number.

Remember that in that, that scatter brain striving hustling, oh my gosh, what are we gonna do? And then I can really… You just get convicts in this moment, the more you show up and every day make the choice and you will just so easily here or feel present, your heart… Yeah, no, no, no, no, this is like, this is part of plan, it’s… Everything’s on time. You’re gonna read to… I want you to write it to know, and not as a hard… That is hard and is still in it that… But it’s probably, even despite this year has been one of the most radically like it’s a good roll or cost that I go work for you or… Yeah, a radical, radical grace. Honestly, I think I told you before, at the beginning of last year, we all pick our words the era, we know we got these to relate.

I picked two words ’cause they couldn’t decide, so I picked the word grace and I picked it… Yes, and I thought, I was like, Oh great, I give myself grace for the laundry and I… We have chicken needs three days Biro, that site, and give my Agra for that on just like a… Pretty much all the mom things and… Yes, the word yes. Is that gonna be… Yes, no, like Sure, you can have played out instead of like… Only the color wonder markers that you can’t be a one-on-one is… Or the things I was like, I’m gonna have more grace for myself as a wife and other… And then I’m gonna just be like a cooler, yes, mom.

And I did pray about them, I was like, You know, printin, I felt like, Yeah, these are the words that God wants me to work on this year to really carry with me through the year.

Well, the you, the play Cathy, I have had to give a grace in ways that I never would have chosen to, and fiestas that I definitely would have never on an accord said yes too. Right, so it’s just so cool and at the same time, and that… That sounds horrible. It’s very uncomfortable, probably this one’s not believer, but those two words were the catalyst for an entire year of radical change, I’m learning, right.

Building and just really reconnecting with who God says I am and who God made me to be, I feel like it’s also grace and… Yes, in the word that keeps coming to mind as you’re talking is acceptance.

Yeah, like acceptance of who you are and who He sees you as, acceptance of the word, stop fighting, eating because we’ve had many on this, and I just don’t think that that is like, No, we’re not arguing right now, we’re having a raw… Have openness, so understanding the everything that He gives us, no matter what it looks like, it’s not a wrapped, but that we say Yes because it’s a good from our father, and imagine during this season of Christmas and giving and people doing this, If somebody handed you… Whether it’s this beautiful wrap box or it lineman… Are you gonna say no?

Yeah, likely you’re not gonna be like, oh, no, me. And carrier, in this season, I’m like, we really don’t want gifts, I would spend time with you, I had experience, so please don’t give me something tangible because it doesn’t have value to me in the same way right now. I’m sure my mom and dad are gonna get me a present, I’m gonna say thank you the… So great.

But I want it to be something that’s in tangible, it holds with me forever because I can take that to have… Yeah, I can’t take on this, it, but imagine if somebody has to do that, if I was to hinder set ornately be like… And I think so, but that’s to… I can’t wait to see what he is.

You’re gonna open it at a period and you’re gonna be grateful now matter how much it costs or anything, so God is constantly giving us things, and especially from our Heavenly Father, you’re not gonna say no. Yeah, never. And so, I… So often before I went on this journey, I did the… Yeah, and let people do.

Right. Well, to a control, because we’re like, Oh, it’s not wrapped.

I’m going to do, I’m going, I’m like, I got something. Gift that I wanna rioting that had a lot of things that have happened in year would’ve never… If there was an array of gifts, I don’t think that is on a US extort that actually… It was the greatest gift of all. Out of everything. Because true, I’m new and that some people just are probably gonna think that that sounds crazy, but it’s an unexplainable joy.


And I think for me, so I was dealing with all the hard of walking into situations where people knew me as this previous person, and then… Who are you now?

Yeah, and then God gives to me with a lot of new people to come into my life to say, they don’t see me at all as who that person was, ’cause they don’t know that person… Yeah, and all they could only see me as is through the lens of who he sees me as in my imperfections, of course. Because we don’t get it right all the time. Okay.

Surely we make mistakes, but to know that they’re giving me grace even in that… Yeah, it’s so imperative. And so when you talk about community and surrounding yourself with people who get it, it’s just as equally important as us, knowing that when I now walk into those other places of uncomfortable and awkwardness, and I literally, for a situation around the holidays this year, was told to not come as my whole self, and I won’t go into details, but as you can that so I don’t… Don’t bring this. Okay, so it’s like that I aren’t exist anymore as I’m like, so they’re not coming, or I’m showing up fully as me, and I want you to know whoever is listening to this, and then I talk about my faith. I do not walk around with the Bible under my arm everywhere I go, It’s… Well, the cool thing is, it’s in my heart, so whether the Bible is in my hands or not… I got the sword of the Spirit. Okay, and armor is on me, just not visibly, and I’m not running around only singing worship music, if a song is on, I’m gonna go to be… And so I got sent from Morgan, our pastor, the song, come to the table, love that.

And it’s also good because as I was being asked to come to this table as only part of me, I had already in my spirit that morning been like, You know what, I’m gonna not… I’m on, ignore that comment because there’s multiple ways to respond to somebody else’s affliction is, and I’m just gonna say I’m coming anyway, and I’m gonna come as my whole being, and if I’m rejected, I’m still knowing that I’m showing up because it… God has called me to do Jesus POS rejecting all time. Every day at… Every minute of every day. Yeah, so I went and I did it at… It was awkward.

I was not A… But you know what, I had all of you guys, I have my sister hood of… My tribe of people who are always there for me. And I don’t need those people to always be there in the same capacity that I needed them to before, because they’re not a crutch of my identity, I feel that I…

I feel that so much. Yeah, and I think a lot of people during this season of going into holiday situations, you gotta be with people that… Yeah, I don’t always like there’s friction. Yeah, yeah, but come to the table as your whole self and if you’re not feeling… Hold.

Pursue it.

Yeah, look for it. The, it’s like once you, can I explain it? Why would you, even if you’re not walking with the Lord? Yeah. Okay, so Angela asked me this all, so I engage.

Why would you ever… If you knew… Or even if you didn’t know.

No, let’s go with… If you know, Okay, if you knew that you were not living to your full potential and you weren’t fully stepping into who you are, and so I brought that to your tension and you knew it.Thank Houston.

Why did you ever continue to walk that out and… Not per summer.

Right, but that’s the culture we live in. I… We live in a culture where people constantly think they’re pursuing more, or I think that they’re bettering themselves or chasing happy or in their best self in their best life, all of this money, the Christians as A… All of that is done it off.

In a time I ever… The estate, it does not… Yeah, the universe, it’s like… So at the universe, you guys are half way there, not so good at… Why would you put at the universe when you re to the one who created it, we direct access to the source of creation, but we walk around saying, I’m gonna line up my… Chris is like, what a… Into my crystal, I know I was at a in…

I, I, it was hard ’cause I was like, because they’re so bull and they are created by God, that is… But I don’t need those to connect it, time don’t need that anymore, and it’s free people on these material things, like those are all… They’re all just… It’s like to true in life, it’s a like… And he wants to think that we need these things or a certain person, or these groups of people, or this achievement or that… And it’s like, you need any of that. I really don’t, and it’s once you surrender it and you accept it, it is so freeing to just not care what anybody else thinks when you’re… Obviously, I’m not saying go out and be read everybody, ’cause you know… Not the Christian, right? You just not to know, to really know that what that person says about me does not matter, doesn’t hurt or feelings. Maybe, yeah, but how long do I need to dwell on this? Because who is in a matter… Literally, a, you have an audience of one, Donald, on the time you have the audience of one, and he calls you chosen and beloved and a daughter, her son. And you don’t have to worry about what the world thinks of you.

Yeah, it’s so good.

I think with that pairing to what you get to do for women now, and trying to figure out, Okay, where does this meet my calling?

So I… When you came to the women’s retreat. Yeah, kind of last minute, but it was like the perfect edition it was, so that was… And I watched you in hindsight, through the video footage that I, Randy and Jason put together, and I… You were literally glowing and it… So do we outstre watching the woman be receiving of your gift, because it’s not just you putting make-up on, are you dressing someone, it’s you passing a light… Yeah, right, it’s us saying, this is surely something that you’re gonna put on your outer self, I am not just giving you that, I am giving you what is internally gifted to me, and that’s like your way of passing joy.

So it’s so much fun. It’s different now, at the retreat was the first time that I really got to experience like, Oh, I like, this is what… You wanted me to lay all my effort in my list in my thinking of how these businesses should be and how they intertwine… Like, This is it, this is what it was for, and it was like so good.

It is at the pop-up we did for the Green River, the… For that as a project. Yeah, that was fun too.

Like having women come over and just seeing them literally go from like, Well, my Ali is… And then trying something on in the mirror and they just feel like, Oh my cost, that the themselves… It must like… They see themselves a little bit more. How God sees what a… And some people in my discredit sounds kind of like bat or whatever, but we really do do better when we feel better, and we live in the world where what you look like and how you present yourself… Yeah.

Affects your moods. effects, the way you show up. It affects your mindset. I know that like when I’m at him, just hanging out in my mom clear her assist at my buddah and actually put some CRL creme, just only put on Brown, did not 10% more things done. Than if I just stay in my ex-slippers and a panel Davidson, that is A… Even if it’s not the make up an idea, it’s a istrian have dry patches that you know, I show up differently for my kids and everything, I think it’s just a really cool transition, like watching that and everything that’s occurred this year. I said at the beginning how we have been waiting to talk all year, and it’s random things that have come into play that people have come and it’s perfect, it’s so timely. Every single time that it didn’t work out, it was like, It’s going to… And as the year was coming to an end, I’m like, This has to be done on it, ’cause I know in 20 to… We’ll do it a day.

Yeah, you amazing and God will have showed up in such a different way, but I just knew with the growth that has occurred with you and with your life on so many levels this year that it was time, and the cool thing about it is it’s not based on any decision of my own, it literally just work in a Taiwanese, it… But as we walk into the next year and it being this time of rebirth in so many people’s lives, I really try to always hone in on the fact that you can do that today, we have a as to that newness, those new clues, that new heart that joy right now, we don’t have to wait for January. Is we really down?

Yeah, and it’s so cool.

So it is, it’s a gift. It’s such a… It’s like a under… The most underrated… Again, a re… I seriously just… It would be weird, right? There would be so outside of societal norms to just ignore… To ignore, but also to just like everybody that you come and… To have cards or something and just being… You know what I mean here? Yeah, you have like… It is in… But like an E-word, probably a… You have to sell the ER.

Oh, yeah. So I like the brand. Yeah, it was so fun.

In other sole that like for the… Was so fun. So I was trying to come up with a name yet for the re-brand of the boutique, and I was really struggling with it because I was just so attached to this brand that I had before and I just couldn’t… I even was like, I wasn’t a color stub will change that being like, you know, I think really it… Those are my two JAMS, I’m like neutral.

Any car back and your true. And the PE guys, I love pets. So girly and feminine, and I was like, Alright, well, I’m sticking with best. The way that God kinda showed him, I had gone over to my friend Liz’s house, and this is after the meeting now, right there was before I thought before.

Oh no, ’cause I brought them in to a… Okay, so we…

I should have journals as… I’m trying to remember the timeline here. So all year long have been pressed on my heart even before things kind of started unraveling and the bucket started getting holes poked in it and let’s get in it and stuff, but before that happened when I chose grace and… Yes, yeah.

As my words, I kept saver time, I would just open my Bible, I would end up in Asteraceae Weekly News paid why is coming out. And I wasn’t really like I was doing the things, I check in the boxes, but I wasn’t really sure… Is that men?

Right. Are you trimmers? I kept on opening E and then I just kept seeing all the time for such a time as this, I got us to be a part of an ester Bible study, focusing on that specific chapter, I think gets Ester for such a time as this.

Then he, I met a woman.

After that, we came to the table and I went to Liz, a user, and I was like, I really think… Is it weird? She’s really good at branding and marketing and stuff, and I said, This is crazy going from this bring in to something completely different now, and I really think that I just wanna commit estrus classes, the trike that… Where are you getting this? Some…

I did the whole thing. It kind of just explained it. And also, some things had happened, so this was in the summer time from… I think we May or June.

So some things that happened where my personal life was playing into friendships, relationships, family things, I was like, What are you doing? The little island, I’m like, Well, I just wanted to be really clean and simple, she… So in… And it could be like… And I was like, Yeah, she’s like… And then the E-boutique like That is… Goes together and I really like with the word a literate or is that right?

We just had it. Okay, I’m gonna take that to the core table ’cause it’s… When stationed that Thursday. So we kind of a… I’m like, What do you guys think about this? But the loup and everybody in the room was, it wasn’t… There was no edition. Everybody was like, I… Yes, and like, Okay, where is this coming from? And so I explained the astern everything, and then I said I really wanted something else though, and then… I mean, Michelle idea… Well, there’s so many words that envelop you that start with you. And I was like, Oh yeah, this is good. It’s good.

I know, yeah, so that’s kind of how it happened by, but also the play on words, like the cause it’s online, so Internet Explorer and A, it is not in my God, but… And it’s been really… That’s really cool, because God is just so good. I Suisse people will. I shared the story that… So I have to be met at that table, I went in July, July forth to Kentucky. So this is my uncle for Fort a literate with me and his girlfriend, and it was stormy one day before the fourth having… Like the second or third meeting, I, I storming… My uncle had taken the kids to do something like a museum, I can’t remember it, to somewhere to do something fun, and Charlie went with them in… He went to the Luger beer something. And so me and citrate, scroll, friend were like, Well, I do today. It’s raining. Let’s be very Malibu or something. We just get coffee just to… They will… So they have pretty cool outlets, we’re like, Yeah, let’s go look at bras and let’s just… Yeah, see if the styles were the same here, so we go shopping and everybody knows I love Target, I love Target, so I love… Or good, so much I know because they’re not Gesserit kid in… Now, I tried really hard, but it is his first either you eat… We went to a target looking for cute forth in July stuff for the kids to where… Because there’s this huge neighborhood party, and I’m gonna get them to keep… Banished have a Sisi want to make the… There’s a nitrile always reading at this Rigoletto, we’ll do another target. That will be so bad. Right, so what else do you do when you’re like in a city that you’re not framing, you go to turn it… So I’m following this, the Max or whatever is, and it starts to re… And it was like a whole misty raining, we… As I… But it just starts to rental down port I’m talking about. I can barely see, my window wipers were going like this, and I could barely see in front of me, and we’re driving, and it’s one of those roads that’s just one Lion, one lane with the double yellow line, so there’s tons of traffic on the sidewalk over here, and I pass this, I can barely see what it was, but just like this red… Sure.

On the side back with a walker, and I’m like, It is pouring down rain, a person as a walker, he must be older if they’re working with a walker or injured or something… That’s freaking Poore.

And I said, Did you see that? To my friend Cassandra, I was like, See, that was a part… Was that a person… And she was like, I think it is a person. I was like, We did need go pick that person A is pouring rain, it was lighting. It was just a really bad for a… With a metal Walker, I’m like freaking out on that, so…

Your Honor, I E. Yeah, so we do a little zip, turn around and then turn back around, and I pulled into this little driveway that I think it was going up to a cemetery or something, was weird. And she was like, Wait on the sidewalk.

It’s like a car ran up to her and I said like, Hey, I… It’s a rating really hardly can in…

I can get a ride somewhere and we’re saying in the ring, I’m gonna a white teacher, it was a more narrow… The area that I I… And I’m like, She’s like, Yeah, what are your Christian? or something. So she said to me, and I said, So now at this time in this summer, I was still wrestling with surrendering and expecting the sea, so I was like, I am… Yeah, I am. But if that’s okay with you, I really like to give you a ride. I didn’t know what to say. And it’s like, Yeah, you know, I’d be really… Is not benso.

I helped her hustle down, get the thing in the bag of cars, he gets in the car, it’s like we’re driving, my outlets is really nice, car like love are and stuff, so it’s like I’m getting a soaking wet stranger in my Alexa, it’s fine, so I… She gets in the car and shut the doors, it’s like the awkward… So I can look at my way of you in my mirror, I’m trying to adjust, white my glasses off and stuff, and she said…

I said, He, He… What’s your name?

And she said, Oh, he was Esther.

I just literally are like, Oh, I like to get the Atrash was like, Oh, I guess he crosses as it was, this tithing, and I said…

She said is, is everything you’re doing a like I just love that name so much, ’cause I give you history, turning in a… I think a corner. Something so… And like story, we started driving, he said, She’s the order, woman, she wanna go to bank, because it was gonna be closed on for the Y and I…

I was still not a… Plait was cool to… I’m an interaction, an older person then about these things, to see go to a bank and take out a bunch of cash just in case something hasn’t… On Fourth of July that I need money and I can’t get to the bank.

We sold cards don’t work as… I don’t know what she was thinking, but she was born in an… She didn’t have a car, and the bank literally from where I picked her up, I don’t even know how far she had been walking, but from where I picked her up, it was seven miles and we know about the number seven. Okay, so we pull up the address to bank was like 333, whatever store.

Yeah, just as amazing, and I was like, Oh, I’m having this huge God moment. And if a Andres like, Oh, okay.

But also, it’s really cool is that she was getting the experience at me and it was just really cool, she was like, Okay, this is like, You can’t make this the I… Yeah, and so I took her back to her house and my… It had stopped relation it as is an on her porch with her for a little bit, and she’s telling me a little bit of our life and stuff, and she told me like… I don’t know if you believe in God or not. And I said, Well, yeah, I recession member, I told you.

And she’s older, so she said, Oh yeah, well, I just… I don’t know, I just do know that lots of cars passed me by lots of cars, and I prayed that somebody would stop ’cause my phone died and then you stopped just a couple of minutes later, and I was saying that I got what I forgot to… I’m not sure if I mentioned that the In was following my mat, but the wrong term, so I wasn’t even supposed to be on that retinitis. Just really cool, and it was the confirmation to me about like, okay, so even I Kilian, take you on the wrong Grotto can choose to go down the wrong Roya, and still gonna find you a… And it was just kind of confirmation, I know you’re passionate about that, I do hear you and I do see you, because for so long, I feel like open so silent about it. Preparing, gathering, nothing. I’m coming up with nothing, and then all this transpired within a week, so we do we… It was so cool. So yeah, I mean, you can’t… When something like that happens to you, that was just one of the things that’s happened this year, but that was the beginning of seminal moments where I just had experience in Tiana reel, that moment and like you cannot… You cannot talk to step to coincidence. My Cassandra that was there was even like not to… I definitely super natural like… Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember, ’cause I wasn’t coincident right there, and I… Annabelle, you did. Because they’re like, I just met Jesus.

Literally, that’s what it felt like, or I ate.

So I resonate, I just were like, peer seen, green like a…

I was the Asansol, and I think this is the biggest part of all of this is like if we just keep walk with our eyes open, have drive in your eyes open, be present, and each day within that, yeah, God shows up with a gift, they… And you really don’t even have to look that hard, you just have to be like that in… Yeah, and highlands of us then, but you’re just not that hard to file on or… So we need a take the veil of when he lies to render and let him hoping her eye and open to what he could do for you, and in that day and in those moments and in those relationships and all parts of who we are, He will meet you there, he does. And once you experience something like that, it might not be a grant, but the… It’s different for everybody, where you like, but that some… That big of a story, but I… For me, that was a life rioting that that’s the being is… Everyone’s a counter was gonna be easier.

And it just set me on this path. It’s like I… It’s this craving. You just want more like, Oh, another experience, I E.

Okay, I do again, that’s a was dance.

Working out at the beach in the whale, like a great… Right there, I was like, I met for me that I will never forget, and I remember just bawling crying and laughing, a attilio makes show all for me because all the emotions that led up to that, man, it was so purpose in every single thing, and I actually just took a little writing retreat this past week, and I was writing this part of the chapter and it was like reliving it, just like you telling it like you get this overwhelming sensation of confirmation in Emilie. Yes, that was me.

Yeah, that was… You can literally find that every day in conversations like this, like true, it’s just… We have to choose to be on that frequency to be in a receiving and the quintet energy at all the other… Right, and there it goes for energy and Sharon, you use and all of that, it’s not… Shouldn’t come into play that they just… There’s more to the story. Right, and I do not leave it out because that is like a story, you know that’s talking about… I don’t know what… That’s it. Be talking about humans to go to church is… Or your breath, right? Right.

So without your press… Yeah, it’s so true.

You have a bag, a bot you… Anything, just tell like…

Yes, you do have nothing like… Yeah. Get the breath from the Lord. Okay, so if you leave that out, that is a crucial part he… What are these existence but everyone…

Oh, everything or the equation is when I was in… For a analogy, I got… Yeah, are in it. So I’m thinking of all the things that we did even touch based on the eyes on… Is it hard to… I really think just is going, I’m not prophetic, but I can hear from God sometimes, just in different ways, is that I see a podcast in your future when you share a time, you have so much and you talk about the passions that you have and the justice piece is a huge part in which I just love…

I hope, I hope to people, ’cause I know everybody doesn’t get the blessing of seeing it live, is that with the E… And one of the words that was coming to mind when I was gonna go through some of the ones that we had said around the table is expressive, and I feel like your section expression of who God is, and all of the things that you do.

And so, hold on to that, hold on to that word and what it is that you’re doing and allow God to express themself, are you every day because it touches people and it changes lives, attentions me.

So I as a mother, this is so good, we from here have… And then on a… The E-E-E.

How can I get in touch with you? Or should they go? Okay, so Instagram tessin black, they’re in there to follow my boutique and the bio and… Same on Facebook.

Yeah, I… The remaining… And you’ll see just some of my personal piss, but there are some things on… It’s still growing, the Beethoven to the… We’re not waiting till it… In one of the things too, on a, A… The it… That on a hard… And I went out on my own, I was like, We’re doing this. And then he literally was like, No, I didn’t say right now, I set… It’s gonna happen if I had already put it out there and… But there’s been a story. It is.

It is in a one-on-one.

It’s so good. station on John, I’m so on.

As a store for our friendship and all of the different communities that we’re involved in together in… It’s a season of Change, accepting change and also let… Almost not accepting it, but proactively going out. Yeah, because we need it in so many different areas, racing oil that proactive pursue and I at good.

Alright, Seligman on your kitten, a post, and I am so excited to just be here to share with you other lovers, dreamers, shakers, entrepreneurs, pastors, whatever, you go ahead and you got a hard… I’m so excited to explore that is goose you are and discover your wholeness or how your… Well, the well and your joy, I love to exude happiness. I want people to know that this is not… This came as style, you guys, this came with a lot of ever… This came with a lot of lows and so many highs, and I want us to experience those together, this is our wheel community at dreamers, and I’m excited to help catapult your calling your kingpin, the purpose of your infant morals, wherever, however that is. So come along for the rod, I’m excited to chat with you. Light comment, review in my Asian Simian email, it’s me responding even have incredible team.

And so I’m just excited to us now you let’s connect, Les, create community, and let’s walk in our calling

#grace #podcast #radicalgrace

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