• Tamra Andress

Quit Waiting Until You Have It All Together with Dana Che

Today I am sharing an interview I did with a previous podcast guest, client, and dear friend, Dana Che. We discuss where she was in her ministry and business three years ago and where she is now.

Some of the highlights I want you to hear from Dana are:

  • I just want to encourage people to not wait until you have it all together and professional and all of those things.

  • It doesn't usually happen the way you think it's supposed to happen

  • One of the biggest things you helped me to do is learn the power of automation - quit getting stuck on all the little details

  • You are really investing in yourself when you hire a coach My coaching programs and 1:1 coaching has just a few open spots left! Book a call now to see if it is the right place for you! Grow for God 2022 registration is OPEN! 📕📗📘📙My book is NOW AVAILABLE! Buy Always Becoming: Sex, Shame, and Love

About Dana:

Dana Che is a pastor, speaker, marriage & relationship coach, author, and host of the Real Relationship Talk podcast. She is passionate about helping couples thrive & develop essential tools for purpose-filled marriages. She’s been married to her childhood sweetheart, Shaun, for 22 years, and together they’re raising four fabulous kids.

Where to Find Dana:

Where to Find Tamra:

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Show Notes: Quit Waiting

Oh, right. All right. That brought some energy to my life. We both needed a little fresh enough for before we get going in this conversation. You're looking good. These days, Dana Shea, that intro was fire. I was like, who am I?

I love you. It actually reminded me when I was listening, looking at the trailer of the show. I need to connect you with Montel. You know, this is how we do it and him and his wife have an incredible marriage ministry. Yeah. So, okay. Okay. Check one. We've done one thing or accomplished already in this conversation.

I'm going to make that happen. That's a divine appointment. Dana. I am so excited to have you here. Thank you for being on the show. The second time. Uh, this is a huge difference than the first time, which was almost four years ago. Three years ago. Yeah. We're in season four now and we were in person and I had this like wink rinky-dink webcam.

It was still fun though. I'm a, we were at, we were going after it.

So here we are. And I'm excited to just share like the then and now at that time you are we're pastoring. You're still pastoring, but in a different way. And so sharing that, and then also the evolution of you being a relationship and marriage. Yeah. First of all, you know, Tamra, it's so funny. Cause I just, I had memories of that first podcast and one of the things that I think so often we wait until everything is perfect in order to start and you didn't.

And me coming into that environment, I was like, wow, this is so nice. You know? It was nice then too. It's just funny to see the difference, but you're right. I mean, like how you've grown and just like, I don't know. I just remember that first experience. It was important for me to be on your show for many reasons, because one, I have this idea of a podcast in my mind, but it was just an idea.

And so to be able to actually see it happening in real time and be in a guest on your show. And seeing like how that was manifesting. It was just really, really important for me. And so I think just off the bat, I just want to encourage people to not wait. And so you have it all together and until it looks professional and all of those things, when I first launched my podcast, we did it in my closet.

Like literally there were clothes all around. And so I never went on video because my closet is a disaster. I'm never going to show anybody this. It was a dream and I decided, you know what, it's time let's just go for it. Yeah. I mean, we could end the podcast right there because that is such a nugget for so many people who are listening live and coming on later, because it really is about that concept of progression.

And that was actually one of the first books that I read for like a self-help professional development book, um, present over. Perfect by Shawn and Nick . I can never say your last name, right. That was right before I launched my podcast. I started thinking about writing a book. I developed core, and it was just one of those moments where I'm like, this is my life.

I'm literally waiting for everything to be just right when. Just say right now is just right. That's right. It's so good. So talk to us about that evolution, even just the podcast conversation. I think that's a huge component of what you do and how you show up in the world now. Yeah. I mean, it's, it was kind of, it happened organically and intentionally.

I like to say that because, um, cause some people are like, I think it's just supposed to happen just so you know, and it doesn't usually happen the way that you think it's supposed to happen, but I. Like dishing out all of this marriage advice for free, just because, you know, people would be attracted to our story and what God has brought us through in our own marriage.

And so I was like, you know, I really need to work more efficiently because I'm saying the same thing. So all of these different people, why not have a resource where they can go and I can just point people to that resource. And so that was really the, um, the starting point of the podcast was really.

Starting it to be a resource I've also always wanted to kind of have like my own radio show or talk show. And so it's so much fun. It is literally the most fun that I have all week is producing my show. But I think, you know, when I, um, As a pastor, there's lots of things that I'm privy to as far as marriage counseling and pastoral care and all of those things.

And I was finding that so many of these stories were the same and I was like, okay, Lord, what is the root issue of what people are dealing with? And so that's really what we go after on my podcast is really. Helping people to talk about like those root issues, not like the little things, not the little symptoms of the problems, but like what are the root issues?

And so, again, really just developing a central place for people to be able to come. Some people can't always afford coaching or they don't think they can. Right. Let's talk about that. I think they can, they can, but, so that's just the launch pad for people to find out a little bit about me to find out about what I do and then to get some really great tips from not only myself, but from the guests that I bring on the show as well.

Yeah. That's powerful. And I I've loved watching the evolution of it too. And knowing that it's like that much fun for you, I think is what should inspire people to try and get outside of their comfort zone. And if there's a little piece of you that. That you know, late night show or that Oprah show or any of the things that we always look at a far thinking it's so unattainable, but they started in a closet to somewhere, somehow some component of them.

Right. And so I love that you went after it. And it's also one of my favorite things that I get to do just from a perspective of quality time, because we don't really just sit. I mean, even, like I said, at the beginning of the show, we both sat down at the four o'clock hour to start this. And we were both like, Okay.

We're here, we're present. Right. And, and we are, but it takes you awhile to get there. And so actually leaning in and saying yes, and also my business brain was going, as you were talking, I'm like, oh, resource, like she needs to have a marriage app. You need to create an app where all of these conversations are in there for.

With experience for people to get access to them. So we'll talk about that another time. We're here to talk about what we've done, business coaching in the past, but not specifically what's happening in the future. So do you want to talk to people about maybe one of the specific tools or resources or just training methodologies that I helped kind of instill in your activity?

I think one of the biggest things that you helped me to do is really learn the power of automation. You know, a lot of people get really stuck on all of the little details and there's so many details and creating a business and sustaining a business and it can be overwhelming when you're doing all of these things manually.

And so I know every time, you know, we would meet. We would have a session or whatever. It was like, oh, I use this program, I use this platform, I use this and you have all of these things working for you. And I was like, oh my gosh. Like when I finally got the concept of like, you can create your own little assistant in a sense by using all of these automated tools.

And so that was a game changer for me because I was definitely doing all the things manually. And once I really got hold of, okay, I don't have to be doing so much work. It's about working smarter, not harder. And so once I learned I can automate a lot of. Systems, and then I can save the time for what I'm really great at, which is creating and, you know, um, again, providing resources and praying and ministering and all of those types of things.

I don't have to be spending three hours on an email sequence. Yeah. Yeah. That's really good information. And as you're talking, I don't think that we've been connected since I did the wealth dynamics. As much have you heard about this test? Oh, okay. I know, you know, Enneagram and things like that, but you need to take wealth dynamic.

Cause you mentioned a couple of things just in that conversation in the wealth dynamics is teaches you, what is your best role in generating wealth? And so you mentioned being a creator, which very well may be what you are. Creator star, Lord mechanic and supporter are the five options. And, um, I'm a star and so same thing for me, I needed to create, or I needed to have in support of my team, these Lords and mechanics, people who are like really good at spreadsheets or creating these automations.

And so I always find myself drawn to those types of programs and even those types of people, uh, to help because I'm like, I don't know, I don't do the numbers thing. I don't want to play with KPIs. I don't want. Systems, because the people that I'm most drawn to are creators, supporters and stars because we make, we make magic.

But if you think about it from the other lens, the Lord and mechanics make that magic happen. And so I'm all very critical. So talk to me through, what would you say? Cause you mentioned it briefly to the person who says, like, I can't afford. Automation or I can't afford a coach. Um, I know that that's often a conversation in the church.

And so maybe you can parallel your pastoral understanding of abundance and prosperity towards this coaching concept. Yeah. I mean, I have two things, first of all, you know, we can afford what we want to afford. Like literally, and I'm not saying that to be snarky, I'm really like that too, but, but the truth is that's like when people realize that they have more power than they realize, when you realize that.

If you have a dream, if you have a God given dream, God is going to provide the way for that dream to be accomplished. And so when someone says, I can't afford a coach, I'm like, well then is this a God dream? Or is this just something that you're coming up with? Because if it's a God dream, he's going to give you the money to end.

And that word invest is important because it's not just you paying for someone to teach you some tricks. I mean, anybody can go on Google or YouTube and find tricks. Like that's not the thing, but you're really investing in yourself when you, when you hire a coach. And I think the other thing too, Speaking is work your way backwards.

Like I remember the first time, the first time ever was probably seven, eight years ago, maybe longer than that, 2013. I think around that time, when I started realizing that I come to the end of myself, like, okay, I've taken myself as far as I can go. I need to hire a coach. And I remember the first business coach that I reached out to this was long before I knew you Tamra.

Um, and she gave me her price and I was. She might as well told me it was $500 million. I was like, there's no possible way. And it just seems so insurmountable to me. And so, you know, looking back at that and looking at I'm sure she charges more now, but looking back I'm like, that was nothing that was.

Yeah, her bucket, you know, but it was my mindset. And so it's difficult for people to really be able to grasp this idea of needing a coach. If you see yourself as small, so work your way backwards, how much money would you like to make? Like, and not, you know, I want to make a million dollars a year. Okay, great.

But like this year, you know, maybe number, right. And then ask yourself, is that amount. What first of all, if I invest that amount, how quick, or could I get to that goal? You know, if you're paying 5,000, 10,000, $15,000 for a coach, but you want to make a hundred thousand dollars a year? Well, then that's just that's percentages.

Yeah, they think that's a funny part is the valuation understanding of, of yourself. How much do you value yourself? Are you worth it? Are you worth paying towards it? Because we're worth it enough to go get our hair done. We're worth it enough to go get our nails done on a weekly bi-weekly basis. And so I think that if we change the perspective on that cost so much.

Too. I'm now investing in order to make so much or live and do that thing that I really am called to do. It changes. It really changes the game. And the truth of the matter is no one really likes to spend money. Like I, well, I won't say no one. I don't like to spend money. I love to save money. I love to see money in my account.

Right. I'm like, that's awesome. You know? And so we can hold on to money. Because we feel like, well, oh my gosh. If I release that to this person that I'm somehow going to lose out. So it, then it goes back to that scarcity mentality. Like, do you really feel like this is all the money that you're ever going to have?

Or are you willing to tap into the abundance mindset that says there's so much more out there and this little amount that I'm holding onto, it's kind of like, you know, as a pastor, we talk about tithing all the time. Right. And so when people are like, I can't give 10% of my income to a church. Well, that's the wrong mindset.

You're looking at giving 10% of your income to a church, to people so that those people can go off and do whatever they're going to do with it. But when you look and think bigger, as I'm investing a portion of my God-given resources to further advance his kingdom, Well, then now that's a whole different story.

Then that's big tithing and giving becomes fun and it's the same way in business, you know, if you think, oh, I can't afford to give that money to Tamra. Sam has got enough money already, you know, but when you think of I'm actually giving or investing a portion of my resources to make myself better so that in the long run, I'm going to actually have more, I'm going to walk into a new level of abundance because I chose to sow the seed in the.

Yeah. And honestly, I think that that's where it all starts. I mean, even for my own self, when I invested in a coach for my, my, my prices are expensive, my coach, way more expensive. And I was like, feeling that, feeling all over again of what it felt like to first invest in myself at a new level and my throat got tight.

The stomach gotten, not none. Like I don't have this money and this same exact conversation I have to consistently give myself. And my husband has to sweet thing consistently encouraged me through in the knowing that it's going to have a multiplication factor. And so what little you might think you've invested thus far, or what magnitude you think you've been invested in?

This far, sorry, I'm stumbling on my words is I can actually track the trajectory of that growth. It's no different than putting money into ad spend. Right. I was talking with people earlier about Facebook ads. And people are always looking to like make 10 X, right? Everything's 10 X, 10 X, that if it's a good investment, but really the first goal is to make one-to-one it's to say I've invested a hundred and I get a hundred back.

I've invested a thousand. I get a thousand back. I have invested 10,000. I want 10,000 back. That's all amazing and notable, but we serve a God who is a multiplication. God. And his desire is to exceedingly and abundantly show off. But if we're not willing to invest because it feels scary and that means we're not getting out of the boat and therefore he can't show you that you can walk on water.

He can't show you his. Yeah. And it's like, what's the, what, what is the, what is the other option? You know, like I hired a nutrition coach because, and I'm, plant-based like, I know all the things, it's not an, this is why, like, I remember again, early, early when I first kinda started in business, I was like, I just want somebody to tell me what to do.

Just show me the tools. And I will do it. I didn't realize that it was, my mind was all jacked up. And my coach at the time, I would say things like, you know, I could show you guys exactly what to do. And I was like, well, then do it. You know? But she wasn't because she realized that she would be basically casting her pearls, monks this mine, when I got to the end of myself and realize that all of my YouTube videos and all of my Google knowledge was not working.

It's not getting me to the level that I need to be, where I want to be. Health-wise I was like, I need to invest in a nutrition coach. And honestly, I didn't care how much she charged because I, I looked at. Her stats and I believed in what she's doing. And I was like, let's do it. And again, that I never would have made that decision, a decision like that.

Not even five years ago, maybe not even three, four years. But when you get to the end of yourself and you realize you've taken yourself, as far as you can go. Now, if you want to advance some people don't really want to advance. Let's just that that's good. Hey, they do. But they really don't. They're afraid.

And so they'll stay stuck and God will let you sit there for five years. So. And then he regressed and that's what he did with his real life. To me, Jim, Joe, right? It's like this knowing of Exodus, we're all like, yes, we've made it this far. And so this far as good enough, I've got the manna I'm comfortable here.

And yet he's like, there is a land of milk and honey, and I don't mean to associate coaching is the entrance point of that. I think you've said it really beautifully is the knowing that honestly, it's more about. Right. It's like that inward work. It's that mindset work that's associated to coaching because you've put in money.

You feel like there needs to be this outcome factor, which there should be. But what I found is the higher that investment is the more I show up in the more the other people show up for that exchange. And therefore the multiplication factor is that much more abundant because they're actually doing the.

You were a part of, um, the membership program, core creatives, which was a community of rooted entrepreneurs. This podcast hasn't heard too much about that experience. Um, but that was how I really launched into coaching was through a membership program. And, uh, I have found in. Ending that program, the differentiation between the people who were coming to like collaborate and communicate and hang out, then those who were actually looking to grow and affect change and create a movement and build a business, really had a lot to do with the investment that they were willing to put in.

Talk to me about like that experience in core, uh, and even maybe that perception. Yeah. And I don't think that there's anything wrong with the first, the first category. Right? A thousand percent. You just need to know your goals. And I think I've said to you at some point tomorrow, I was like, I'm good where I'm at.

Like, I'm perfectly content. You know, everybody doesn't want to build a $10 million a year business and that's okay. And so I think. Knowing your goals again, like knowing what is important to you, what do you feel like God has called you to do? I'm a full-time pastor. And so I know that I have time constraints that I can devote to my business.

And so when I think of what are the things that I really want to do, then again, as I was talking about working my way backwards, I'm like, how much money do I want to make? And then the investment starts to make sense or they don't make sense. There's some things that I'm not going to. Then not just not because I don't feel I'm worthy or not, because I don't think it's a good idea, but because that might not be where I'm, where I'm heading.

And so I think that, you know, with anything in life, we always value more. What we put in and this is why, again, you know, when I first started out in business, I was doing everything for free. Cause I'm like, but this is ministry. Like people have needs, you know? And, and I don't feel right charging, but what I didn't realize is I'm staying up, taking time.

Away from my family, studying, researching, writing, putting together content. I'm doing all of this stuff and no one's paying me for that. And then I'm just casting it out there. So people who are not investing, I'm asking them to read. That's all the part and I'm like, please, please, I will read this. And it's ridiculous.

And so it's just being comfortable with where you really are being really honest with yourself about where you are and where you want to go. And then realizing though that, like we said, if you really want to go home, Then it does take more of more investment. I mean, that's a biblical principle, right. We reap what we sow.

And so if we're going to sell a little bit, like, again, back to the tithing principle, if people are like, well, why do I have to give 10%? Well, you don't, you know, we're not under the old covenant, but new covenant is actually more stringent new covenants. Like give it all away. Yeah, it is. It is, it is. And this is like a concept that's been hard and I am, I'm not, I actually don't really talk about it a lot.

Um, because it, it feels like to be honest, maybe a component of shame, which is really weird. I'm processing this out loud with you guys, but, um, my business has done really beautifully. And because of that, I've been able to grow a team and I've been able to pour into that team with the finances that this company makes.

I haven't taken a dollar from this company and it, I reinvest it every single time into the mission I bring on new team members. I do different educated learning for myself, extended opportunities. I will go, I will pay to go speak on someone's stage. And that's opposite than what a lot of people say, but I am so sold out to this mission that at the end of the day, if the business blops the mission and the movement will not because of the seeds that we've planted.

And additionally, I have been blessed in the fact that financially we are able to sustain a home without me needing to bear, you know, a big incumbent. Now would it be nice? What I like to pay? I've had a lot of pride issues associated to the fact that I, I want to pay for my kids' school. This is something I've said since day one.

Like I want to be the one to stroke that check. I want to be one of pay rent. And I've honestly struggled with this since I've been with my husband since we were dating and. It's something he was constantly like, why are you so fixated on being the provider? And I honestly think it's associated to growing up and feeling like I needed to have that, that role in order to be successful.

And. As I have become more and more disconnected from money, which is something I am constantly working with. It's I don't need it to be fueled. Like I don't need it to make impact. I don't need it. God doesn't need it. God is bigger than your bank. He is bigger than your ability. And so the more that I lean on him and I allow him to proceed me into situations, into experiences.

He comes back tenfold. He comes back a hundred fold. He's come back a thousand fold in so many blessings, even within my marriage, because I was able to release this need for making money. Right. You get on clubhouse and there was like seven figure nine figure 12 figure earners. Wow. That's amazing. Am I less than because I don't have.

And so I love that you're sharing like maybe where you're at is where you're supposed to be, or maybe where you're at is the right placement. And you don't need to do those things. However, there's always an opportunity to level up what God has given you, because you still have breath in there. It's still intentional movement and purpose in that.

And so always look to expand yourself. It doesn't have to be with money. It could be with a mentor rather than a coach, somebody who's free and willing to give you information. Um, but even in my marriage, I always want to expand and you're constantly giving free resources in addition to paid opportunities for people to do that.

And so I hope that meets someone. I don't know why I felt convicted to share that, but no, that's really good me. So talk us through, we have a couple minutes left. This is one of our shorter versions of a podcast. Um, and I want you guys to get connected to all things, Dana, Shea Williams, and it's the real relationship talk right on, uh, podcasting.

And is that your website too? Yeah. Okay, awesome. So you guys have the link in all the show notes, um, but talk us through one is one of your biggest breakthroughs when it came to coaching and our connection together beyond just the. Yeah. I remember there was one particular time where, you know, the enemy, he's always going to try to the Bible, calls him the accuser of the brethren.

I talk about this scripture all the time and he will accuse us the God who will accuse us to each other. He'll accuse you to yourself. And what that looks like is self-condemnation and feelings of unworthiness. And so even though I had done all of this work, I've been speaking for years, I'd done. Stuff.

I still felt like I don't know enough. Like, I don't know if I can really, like, I wanted to do the podcast when we came to late coaching. I'm like, I don't, I don't say I don't feel like I know enough. And there was this one particular moment where you said, you know, more than your average client. Like, even if you're one step ahead, you're still a step ahead.

And that really spoke to me because I thought there are people that are coming to me that are in the world's eyes, way more successful than I am. Make way more money. Even have been married longer, but yet they're seeking me out. And that used to play with my mind because I was like, I don't know if I'm not, I'm not where I think I need to be.

But then once I realized that I am actually a step ahead because they're coming to me and so like, God is not going to bring them to me and then have us just staring at each other on the screen. It's good. He's not going to do that. He's already equipped me and us and everyone who's listening. He's already equipped us for what we need.

And so I know I've been talking about like mindset shifts. For me, it was such a big breakthrough for me to realize that I really do have what it takes. It's not just some like rah, rah, you know, I'm going to pump myself up, but it's like really knowing that and believing that and looking at myself in the mirror and being like, I am confident I can do this.

Like, God, you have gifted me to be able to do this. And so from that confidence, you know, I stepped out more and the. Stepped out. It's like the more that God would bring people to me, it's so much felt that I was like, all right, Lord, I'm good. I'm good. You know, I'm at capacity right now. I don't need anybody else.

You know? So then just, you know, fun fact, when you get to that, then what do you do? You gotta bump your prices up. That's right. Come on.

I'm in a really sweet spot right now. I really am. And again, I have goals that are, might not be somebody else's goals. You know, somebody might look at my business and be like, oh, you could be doing more, more, more, more. But I'm in a season of my life, I've done the more and more and more, more, I am a worker bee and I am just at a season where I, that's not what God is calling me to do in this moment.

There may be another time where he's like, all right, pedal to the metal, let's go. But right now I'm just enjoying where he has me. I'm enjoying being able to, to, to meet for me to decide who I'm going to work with and who I'm not going to work with. I was never really able to do that before, because I was like, oh my gosh, I got clients.

And then, no, not that we should ever, but we can't stand the client. Right. And we're like hitting her head against the wall. Like, why did I take this person? I knew there was a red flag on that intro discovery call. I knew I had heard from the grapevine that this wasn't the right fit. For the money. But when you get to shift that and shift your mindset towards the fact that you're actually making a collective collaboration is what a client experience is.

I learn and have received so much from you as a client, just as much as I have hopefully given to you, right? Like. Symbiotic. If you're spending time with people, I hope you like them. And I hope you like them enough that you're willing to actually not just give, but learn and be there at present to experience because those people who've been married longer than you are.

Those people who are more successful than you. They've got some tools and tricks and stuff in their pocket book, too, that they can dish out and actually serve you. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. It's that reciprocal relationship that I love. And, you know, I think even as I was preparing for this conversation today, I'm like, you have taught so much Tamar by just more, you know, there's the same, more as caught than taught.

And I think there's so many people who just watch your life, your joy, your energy, your genuine love for people, the way that you show up in people's lives. Like that's not going to be in anybody's business resource manual. But being around you and just being, um, a recipient of that, you know, is really affected me in my business.

So I want my clients to, to feel like they're my friends and to feel, I don't want them to call me every day. You know what I mean? I want them to feel like they can, you know, if they, if they wanted to, but I do, I want them to feel. The money that I invested, not only helping with my problem, but it actually helped me to be a better person now.

And so I just, I appreciate you for that. That means the world. Thank you so much. I, I really do love you. I'm so grateful that you're right here in my backyard. Uh, I don't like that. I can't give you a hug after this podcast, like I could before, but I'm grateful that we got to pray together and just be together.

And I am so cheering you on and sending people your way, because what you do in the world does make a massive deal. Um, and this is to every single person, right? What you do makes a massive difference. The question is, are you willing to step out and do it? So thanks for being here on the show again, and I can't wait to advertise both of them.

So people know the context of where you came from and where you are today. Dana, you're a gift. I love you. Thank you, Tamra. I love you. Bye.

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