Master Connections and Business Leadership with Lou Diamond
Being able to connect changes energies. It changes our ability to show up in the world in a magnetic way when we're connected at a deep level, not only with ourselves, which is foundational, but with others. And so today's guest, Lou Diamond, and I had a great conversation, a conversation that was premised on how, how do you connect with someone?
Understanding that when people connect at the heart level, there's an overlap of two worlds that transpires and creates that much more energy flow for other people to come into a relationship with. So whether it's in partnerships, whether it's in strategic alignment, business, personal, all things up above, but ultimately it's premised on someone being a contender, not a pretender. So knowing authentically who you are, is so valuable, and you know, my passion for alignment and knowing of that myself vertically in order to serve horizontally.
This is how Lou Diamond shows up in the world. You guys have to tune into his Thrive Loud podcast. He's a best-selling author already and has another book coming out in 2022. You want to get some paper and pen - the gems he drops are ones you want to remember!
📕📗📘📙My book is NOW AVAILABLE! Buy Always Becoming: Sex, Shame, and Love https://amzn.to/2ZvA2xn
Lou Diamond is the Master Connector. He has over a quarter century of experience in sales, relationship management, business development and leadership coaching. He is an international keynote speaker, consultant, leadership & performance mentor, best-selling author, podcast & TV host and CEO of Thrive, helping businesses, top performers and brands thrive through the power of connecting.
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Show Notes: Master Connections and Business Leadership
You know, we've been in a season of disassociation for a while now, and I really never had that problem just to be transparent, not to boast. Uh, I feel like I'm connected to so many incredible humans and we were able to get together during this entire pandemic. I don't even like to speak about it. Y'all know my preference, but it's the knowing that connection truly.
Not just the authenticity piece, but it, it changes energies. It changes the ability for us to show up in the world in a magnetic way when we're connected at a deep level, not only with ourself, which is foundational, but with others. And so today's guests, Lou diamond, and I had an incredible conversation, a conversation that was premised on how, how do you connect with someone?
Standing in a five-step process, how you can do that really well, listening and asking, and I'm not going to go through all of it cause you have to listen. But understanding that when people connect at the heart level, there's an overlap of two worlds that transpires and creates that much more of an energy flow for other people to come into relationship with.
Whether it's in partnerships, whether it's in strategic alignment, business, personal, all things up above, but ultimately it's premised on someone being a contender, not a pretender. So knowing authentically who you are, is so valuable and you know, my passion for alignment and knowing of that myself vertically in order to serve horizontally.
And that is how Lou diamond shows up in the world. You guys have to tune into his thrive loud podcast. He also has another book coming out in 2022, but his first is a bestseller. So be sure to grab that as well and tune in to this episode because he drops in gyms and I actually share some revelations that I've had in the past couple of weeks.
And so. It's going to serve you uniquely and differently than any other show. I would love for you guys to tag us and share and leave a review. If you have time, it's been an honor always to serve you and to hang out with Lou diamond. Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders.
I'm your host, Tamra and dress. And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.
Talents. As a purpose activator and brand builder, I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
All right. Y'all are in for a treat today with the one and only Lou diamond. I am so excited to share with you his wisdom as I was able to receive it on a clubhouse experience. And I knew that it was something you all would love here on the Fitbit podcast. Lou, thanks for being. Totally a pleasure to be here.
Uh, and I got to tell you, you got one of the cooler openings of any shows. I love openings and stuff. We do some fun stuff on my program, but that was like, I think I might beat, I love to bring the energy right out the gate. And for the people who listened to the podcast, they don't get the joy of seeing what we create as your trailer videos.
And so I always love to bring those to light when we share them on our social media. So you'll get that as a little gift from us. So, uh, yeah, I also think what's really great is, uh, here we go. In full color representation is for those who can't see it. Those are listening to the program. We got rainbows behind me on the screen.
She's wearing rainbows. Please. Do I love color? I think, I think. And I'm all for like a nice. Outfit, right. You've got a black shirt on I'm all for the black, but I think that there's such power in color and it's been confused and it's been used and abused in so many different ways. And so my, my passion is to bring life to, um, imagery.
And I think when people can actually virtually, uh, learn, um, through their visual senses, it's, it's such a fun way to bring an evoke emotion without actually having to say anything. You know, it's really interesting when you had a guest on my show, uh, this artist, her name is Virginia Dutton. This was fascinating.
And, and I don't remember how she came into my world, but she's one of those peoples who actually, when she talks to people, she sees colors and auras of people love that. Painting that's behind me in my room is actually my color in spirit. It's the energy vibe of Lou diamond. And, uh, someone recently just came in and by the way, it's off the canvas who can't, those who can't see it.
And the colors are, you know, all the things that represent me and energies and stuff like that. And I think it's kind of cool because it seemed a little wooey to me. Um, I looked at this and said, you know what? You got. Take all the different flavors of the rainbow and tastes them a little bit and check out.
So I enjoyed it and even more fun to actually watch how the whole thing was put together with that's really neat. I was, uh, I was a stature of Skittles when I was in middle school. And so my mom and daddy are really health-conscious, we're still really health. That's evolved into my parenting style as well, but we were allowed to keep one treat in our room because there was no treats anywhere else.
Plastic bowl that I kept in my desk of Skittles and my friends would come over and we would pick them apart and play games with them. And that was like our treat that we used all the time. So I think it was infused really early on without really understanding it on a subconscious level. Um, but I think it's really valuable and energy to speak to that.
Um, it really is a part of every single thing that we do. And as a Christian, a lot of people have conflict with having the conversation about entering. And what does that actually mean? And how what's an aura even mean? This past weekend, I was at a mastermind and there's an energy healer there. So people are going to, I'm going to have like sirens going off for people who are like, oh gosh, Satan, no, listen to this.
Okay. God is the creator of all things. And I believe that our energy is no different than the. Through you when we were in clubhouse, they're magnetic for purpose they're magnetic, actually for us to connect with one another, to be able to serve in a greater capacity. I've learned, I can't do anything by myself.
I'm sure you feel the same. Um, but I think energy is such a powerful conversation. It's re it's really interesting. You bring this up. Because I speak about connecting. I w I love telling people tomorrow and bring, bring your listeners up to speed here. I was put on this planet to work with the most amazing businesses leaders and brands and top performers and help them thrive through the power of connecting and connecting.
It is really interesting because people look at it as, oh, I'm connected to this person or it's part of my network, by the way. I don't believe in the word network. I believe in the word connect, working it. We are not trying to add more people to our network. We're actually trying to connect with those within it.
Uh, and here's the thing. There's lots of things that people will tell you, you need to do. Whether it's in sales, marketing, and leadership, that's the area that, that I focus in and. And there's lots of things that you can do and those things you need to do. Right. Uh, what I actually focus on is something that probably truly connects with you pun intended, and that is, there are certain things on the way you need to be, to actually bring out the energy, to connect with others connection.
Uh, whether, you know, in business, a lot of it has to do with alignment, but at the end of the day, we are trying to work with people. We like to work with, bring ideas together that connect on a whole set of levels and values. And our goal really is that when we do these things, when we establish strong connection, Whether it's in sales, we're trying to connect our end customer, whether it's in marketing, we're trying to connect our message to our audience.
And here's the part that most of your listeners might relate to when we're leaders trying to get our people, to connect with us and to connect with each other, the strength of connections, the speed at which things get done. The understanding of the purpose at hand, where everybody cares having a, uh, an empathetic view, as opposed to just a self-centered.
All of these things carry outside of the business realm. They carry over into life. And when you think about your personal connections, whatever they might be with with other individuals or with higher spirits, with whatever, whatever angle you want to go into, knowing what you need to do when you need to connect with others and know what you have to do to yourself, the th the steps you need to do to make yourself ready to conduct.
Is the real thing that it's where I start from. And that's the message. That's the, the message where I go with. And a years ago, it's behind me somewhere. So shameless plug, I wrote a book called master of the art of connecting. And I didn't know that I had this spirit. I came from wall street and I worked in financial services and consulting before, before all of that in helping businesses connect.
But didn't realize that the style in which that I was actually. Connecting with clients and individuals and putting ideas together had this, it just, it took a lifelong journey to figure out exactly. Oh, this is something that people use is this is a super power that, that stretches across many different levels.
Uh, you and I both use this medium in podcasting and the ability to have conversations with people is really powerful, which is where I'll bring this thing where we can lead our conversations, uh, to your listeners and viewers. When I thought about all the things about connection and why, where we met in the medium of clubhouse, it's so important because what all connections began, where they began as right here, where you and I are right now.
And that is having a conversation. Every connection begins with one great connecting conversation. So what if we could increase the likelihood that we can actually have better conversations? And know that if we, if we did things, if we worked on ourselves, if we prepared ourselves to have that conversation, even before during the conversation and after what we need to do around the conversation to make that connection zing a little bit more.
How much better would we be in all the things we do in our lives. And a lot of people take conversations pretty lightly, blatantly that goes in one ear out the other. Uh, I've been spending a lot of time and doing a lot of work, helping people understand the importance of being in that moment, being present then there.
And when you do that, the results that you get are so expedited and accelerated in so many ways that the reality is and what my business and what my message is all about is that when you can get. You thrive. That's so good. And that's what your podcast is thrive loud. And as you're talking, I have so many things that I want to like connect with you about.
I love it. I'm like, oh my God, shit. I'm going to lay it on the table and let her then ask the questions. Good. It's so good. Um, alignment is, is a huge conversation. And one of the reasons that the fit in faith podcast started was all around understanding this identity, alignment, this vertical Alliance.
Before we horizontally show up in the world. And so I'm curious from that understanding, how does that readiness factor of being willing to connect and understanding myself helps serve the conversations and the connections that people make. That's the first question. It's so great. If you've ever. I'll use this example.
And it's one-off if you ever had a conversation with someone that couldn't stop talking about themselves and probably you didn't want to continue having the conversation totally. Right. It's it's like, there's only so much you could hear about somebody else. And more importantly, it's not that you don't want to learn about that other individual.
And you'd like to hear what they have to say. Did you ask them permission to give them that information to share it? Or did they just come spewing it out? Here's everything that I do. I think this is important, um, that when two people are meeting together, you have to understand and appreciate how, how rare and important that is.
If there's one thing that the pandemic. Highlighted was that we actually were connected to a lot of each other physically and being able to be together with one another. And we were able to have conversations maybe a little bit more freely, literally physically whether with masks or without, or, or physically in isolation, all these things.
Right. All of a sudden these experiences that we have. Now got limited and we're, and we're, we're separated. And now we had to figure out how it can, we can have the conversations we needed to have in different ways, whether via 2d communications in zoom or across social media or wherever, or social audio and all these different, uh, platforms that people had.
We had to figure out ways to have the conversations that we needed to do. And that meant that we really needed to figure out well, how do I sound when I share my message? How. Um, I am I approaching myself in a way that people want to connect with me. Am I just volunteering information and haphazardly?
What I've learned is that it always starts with this little step-by-step piece on the ways you need to be. If you want, I could walk it through the front. The first thing we need, the first thing we need to do is we need to be listening and be asking, right? We need to start in that stance when you meet another individual and you want to connect with.
Well, we should open with listening first, right. Be listening to others, be in that mode of where you need it and be asking the questions that will get you to answer the questions. Like what does Tamar do? Why did she start this podcast? Why is Lou talking about thriving? Connecting? What is his superpower?
What are the things that my listeners want to hear? Right. When you have that first mode of when you're in this, be asking, be listening mode. You're switching it from the other mode, which is to be telling and be talking and you're like, oh my goodness. I don't need to be hearing from this person to be preached to.
Right. When you remember when we were little kids, I always use this. You know, if your mom basically told you time and time again, to not leave your jacket on the floor or to clean your room or to leave the toilet seat up, whatever it might be. Right. The more times they told you eventually it just became noise for sure.
But when you flip the conversation around and be like, like, I used to use this example, so. Instead of saying, listen, go clean your room because your grandmother's coming over to the house. Uh, if I said, what would your grandmother think if she saw your room like this? And just leave it open and member and be like, oh man, well, I guess she probably not be appreciate.
Now. Sometimes you have to be like, oh, she doesn't care. But my daughter would, but the power didn't come from telling someone there was one stage in our lives. When we knew, if someone told us something, we would understand it. If a doctor told us something, if an accountant told us we needed to do something, an expert told us something.
There are those instances when telling me. But there's so much more power when you flip it around and you start asking those questions because the answers that you come up with after being formed in that question, got you listening. And now understanding to say, oh, this is the way that I can think about.
You're going to come up with a more creative response, but you're also going to connect with the person that you're trying to engage with, because they're thinking about how you think about it, not being preachy and telling you how to deal with that. That's really powerful. And as you're sharing, I was thinking actually about my husband.
Life experience. And often when my husband tells me something or even probes something, it has to be my idea for it to be a good one. Right. And, and, and, and both in entrepreneurship as well. My husband's an incredible entrepreneur. And, uh, one of my mentors for sure, in that realm, but when it comes to me actually activating and putting into works in my business, the things that he's teaching me, he has now learned that it's best.
If he guides me to the mentor that he believes would be the best to serve me in that. Same exact thing. He's going to give the same advice, but if I hear it from a third party, that's not the one that I hear all the time. Want mama, I love him. My husband doesn't sound like that. He's like a, he's like Yoda.
We call him Yoda. But the understanding that I hear it, right. I hear him talking all the time and it's so much different when somebody else comes in and we were just getting this information yesterday. And he's the guy, other guy that was my mentor. He started laughing. He's like, well, please don't let it offend your husband.
I'm like, no, you guys are saying the exact same thing, but for some reason, Because I feel heard and it total different way. And you know, these are the reasons why spouses can't coach one another, because you're always coaching each other throughout life. But, but that first starting point in how you connect us to start off with be listening and be asking and, and, and as you progress through the ways that you connect, what you're actually doing is embracing the power of empathy.
You're standing in the shoes of another to see what it's like in their world. So, so when you do that, And the first step is that once you engage in that understanding of how your shoes are, you're, you're, you're starting to understand things from a view that have nothing to do with you personally. Cause it can't be about you.
It has to be about the person you're connecting with. Now think about it. Let's get a little or be here. Um, if, if I have my world and my circle of all the things and Tamra has hers and we bring them together, right. I'm trying to see into your world. You're trying to see into mine. We are overlapping and we're trying to find out at the end of the day, how we can be helping one another.
And that's the next step is the whole purpose of this understanding is where the two worlds over. And where we can connect and help, because this is the strangest thing when someone is trying to sell their services. And if you're thinking, oh, I need, I need to close that client, this sale, this particular thing, because I need it from my numbers, my peace of mind, whatever.
Yes. That might be actually result oriented for doing. But the reality is, is that is not what. Right. If you flip it around and understand that don't care about what the results are, what the numbers are, think about the process of, if you focus on the helping, they're gonna want you, not only just for one sale, they're gonna want you for every sale.
They're going to be the trusted partner. That's going to help you grow your business. So in business, you have to be thinking about how you can be helping them. It could be from the simplest widget of a product that you're selling them that has a one-off experience to a ongoing consulting or coaching relationship.
That there is a mutual understanding of having that person in your world all the time to help grow your world and make that little circle of yours even bigger. So I think as you're sharing too, it's the understanding that even with step one that leads into that empathy factor, it doesn't always have to be the words that they're saying, right?
Like we can get into conversations with people just based on what you talked about earlier that aura, I go into a coffee shop and I can read and listen to a person without them. Say anything to me other than maybe what your order. Right. But it's like, how are they saying it? What is their body language?
Are they making eye contact? Are they looking down? I can actually add and help and serve and ask the right question instead of just how are you today? Good. Okay, good. And then that's the end of the conversation. He's like, wow. That tattoo is really rad. What made you, what inspired you to get that? Now, they just went from being just a checker outer, right.
To a human being. And it creates an actual conversation that then leads to relationship. And I can tell you every time I go to that coffee shop, I get my extra shot of espresso for free. Or I get my little note on my cup, top of my cup, that then pours back into me having an amazing day keeps smiling.
Right. And so I think if we looked to network. Or connection on even just those little people, what you would call them little, they're just the same as you. So start connecting in order to see the expansion and the opportunity of your network growing. So w after you've you, you were be listening and you're be asking, and then you moved over to be helding.
Then the real transformative move towards thriving has to be that there's going to be a change. There's going to be something it's not just, oh, I bring two worlds together and they just keep adding and adding the reality. It's the combination of the two to figure out something new that you're going to create.
That's going to connect with the world, right. It's connecting with others. And that's that combined factor. If you're bringing a consulting solution, that's going to change the way let's say you're, let's say you're providing marketing data. That's going to happen. Change the way that your marketing messaging goes to other companies into your clients and your customers?
Well, that's like a whole new thing that you've created that change. Takes a little bit of strength and takes a little bit of overcoming your fears, right? Because you got stuck into a certain way. Like, you know, I like the way things have been working, but now I have to make the adjustment to move, to do something different.
There is a risk, there is a leap, there's a leap of faith. There is a move that you need to make and it's moving through your fear into courage. That is really that next step. So you have to be courageous in this next step of when you're making the connection to move together to thrive. Right? And this is true about life, right?
Because we're, we all are hit different stages in our lives and things that mean stuff to us. And there's probably that moment when you have to make a change, make an adjustment, improve who you are. Maybe recognize that you need a little bit of help and that person from the outside who's been helping you is going to help you get to that next level that you're looking to achieve and move onward and upward.
So that moving through fear into courage, that's being courageous and that's embracing your fears and moving through them. We all have them. We wouldn't be human if we did it. Um, the true connection happens when you've gone through that, that adjustment period that, that. Battle of two different views because they're not always in line and they're not always the same.
You have to work together to figure out how to move that. It happens in personal relationships. It happens when you ever remember that lovely expression you started dating. You put, you have all these things in common and you started seeing the overlap together and things are working great. Um, but now you want to take things quote unquote to the next level, right?
And you know, that, that means that there's going to be a sacrifice. There's going to be a change to the way you do things. You probably is that single dude, like you are going to have to get rid of some things in your single bachelor pad or whatever the honeymoon phase is over. Now, we have to get into the next level of relationship.
It's embracing the fact that you have to be courageous to not only know that by doing this, that the two together become better as one. Yeah. I think leaning into the conversation around partnerships and strategic alliances and things like that. Just experience something like that for the last quarter where you're blending, what you believe two visions are like way aligned.
Absolutely. Let's partner. Let's do this. And then as those two worlds mesh and you're bringing teams into the conversation and you're realizing, oh, wow. Like the team dynamic is different than my team died. Even though we are synchronous as the leaders, there's a whole other element of connection that has to take place.
And so blending company cultures in that to get to the end result was tricky and sticky. And there was moments where I'm like, Ooh, this is a good idea because there becomes this like weird hierarchy experience. But as we learned, like the most important things, and when we got in person the energy towards one, another completely shifted because you REL you realize.
The strengths and weaknesses, the bonds, the overlap. But when we do it like this, which is what we were doing via zoom for so long, it was so hard to break through the barrier of true connection. Yeah. And the last two stages of this, which, which is so relevant to what we're talking about here, and this has to do with what it takes to break through this barrier.
Right. You've made a comment. Like I do have an energy about myself because I elevate my energy when I do that, because. I unleashed something and when connections are made and when you need to really establish that connection, you got to get deep. You got to kind of like let the inner stuff out. And I love saying this, and I'll ask you this question.
Um, why do you love, why do we love superheroes? That's a real question to you. Why do we love superheroes, Tamar? This is a deep response that just immediately popped into my spirit, but I think it's because we know there were. Okay. Um, I agree with that. Maybe we, we, that could be part of it. I'm not going to, you know, cause if you know your weakness, you know what they're about, but I think it's even more simpler.
We live superheroes because they're freaking super, there were amazing. We, you know, when we watched the superhero movies, we, you know, whether it's it's wonder woman and her absolute, incredible strength, speed, you know, agility, godlike abilities. If, if you've got Superman who is, you know, got the whole follow acts.
If you've got Spiderman who can climb and shoot webs or do whatever it is, there are things that are just unbelievably super. And here's the thing that's amazing about every single person on this planet is that we all have super. We all have something unique about us that we've been put on this planet that makes us special.
That makes us amazing. And these amazing things, they don't have to be climate buildings or whatever they might be like to get to that superheroes do. But within the worlds that we live in, they kind of are, and you know what they are. There are great communicators. There are, there are super computer programmers.
There are super engineers. There are super managers. There are super. Customer service people. There are super sales people and account managers who know how to manage that relationship and connections within the businesses that they deal with. These superpowers are what we want to see because we connect with superheroes.
You talked about their weakness. Like we love understanding what the superhero, what makes them up? What are they? Good. What's great. What's bad. What they can. Can I get kryptonite and your soup, right? It creates that human element and the possibility then exists. It's no different than like why I love interviewing people like you.
And I'm like, this is amazing that you've come to all these revelations, but I can't wait to get into the question of like, why, how, what, what stagnant point of your life led you to the next level of understanding yourself, your being in your super power. Yeah, and well, well, let's put it this way. Your D your superpower is the coding other people's right.
And asking the questions that helps to bring that out, because when you do that, you're sharing what the world is super spirit about. That individual. That's a gift, right. And here's the thing. So what I keep telling people, and when they look to be connect, be super beat up on. Absolutely unleashed to release this superpower that you and I think it circles back to what we were talking about.
The forefront too, is like knowing thyself in order to do that. And that takes a lot of inner work for you to show up and be that outer expression of super human. Yeah. And you just nailed the clenching line here. Um, we'll call it just the, the bump set spike of the leading this up. The last thing you need to do is be you because it's the authentic version of who you are, because at the end of the day, don't try to be somebody else.
I can never be you no matter what time. Right? Try to put that many rainbow colleagues let alone I'm follicly challenged. So I won't be able to grow hair. That looks as nice as yours. I have to put myself in a position that says that I can only be the best version of who I am, because here's the real deal when it comes to connect.
We don't want to connect with a pretender, right? We want to connect with a contender. We want to pray. We want to connect with somebody that is the real deal, because we all know this. When you find out that someone is fake and they are not real, or they're not really doing or saying or who they really are, or they're lying, or they're being disingenuous.
All of that work that we talked about from, from listening and asking and truly moving through fear for courage and unleashing their superhero means nothing. The linchpin of all connections is authenticity. We authentically need to be who we are and own it, share it, live it, breathe it, and not be afraid of it and let others know exactly that's where it is.
And that's what we connect to your point about the weaknesses. Some of the things that we love about people is what their weaknesses are and knowing what that is, because listen, I'm really great at these things. I am terrible at this. I joke about this. One of my family members is not necessarily the best communicator, like responding to messages or emails or whatever, but, but that's, that's who she is.
That's the individual that she is. And that's what, because she's got lots of other things where she's got other people handling that, that, that work for her. And that's important because that enables us to understand exactly who we're dealing with and how to communicate and connect with them. So, so bringing all this together, it's so important.
It doesn't matter. There's lots of to do lists and tasks that you can do to be better in the way that you connect the ways that you can message and in understanding that, but to what you were saying once, you know, thy self, once you know who you are and all the things that make you, the person you are to connect with the world.
You have the ability to understand that those are the skills you can work on, but you can control that you can do first before even trying to make the initiative to try to make connections with others. Because once you've got that down and you've got your superpowers going on one, you get taller, you get bigger.
And you're the person. When you walk in the room that everybody wants to talk to because they've got. The right agenda on how they need to be to connect with others. Genuinely, genuinely care about it. It's not a fake thing. If you are faking the fact that, oh, you know, I'm going to put on this whole mask of who I need to be when I want to go connect with these people and you walk around and like, I couldn't care.
Yeah. That that's things and people can smell that a mile away. And interestingly, I think that there's a component of, of subconscious masking that we all do in society. Uh, I did for a really long time, but I don't have to do any more because I've stepped into the knowing of self, but for a long time, that was never even conversations.
I wasn't in the self-development world. I didn't really, I didn't have a relationship with God the way that I do now, it was all religion. Uh, it was achievement driven, striving, perfectionism. And so through that lens, I was showing up within the realm of the successful American dream and everyone around me was just an OU and all of that.
Right. And yet I had no depth of connection even with my spouse to the way that I do now, because I, I could not be genuine because I didn't know what. I felt like
we all had a story bits and pieces of ourselves that we keep hidden from the world and worry chasing perfectionism instead of progression, chasing materialism, instead of worth chasing the hourglass figure instead of having. Chasing accolades and American dreams instead of wealth chasing relationships, rather than intimacy chasing lies, instead of the truth, we stand naked.
Unknown and hovered and in shame, but I refuse to let Pandora's box, let us stay stifled and destined to live a life of freedom, integrity and love unshackled. Beautiful worthy. No. From above
his promises are in the rainbow. Pass the storm or stand secure. Not alone together, women
talk to us about the people who have that like smaller aura or essence of self that have trouble connecting and how they like understand how to be better with connecting with themselves to be able to serve others. It's it's, it's a real interesting challenge. One. I believe the hurdle is only yourself, right?
At the end of the day, it's understanding. Okay, what do I want to connect with? Um, I just recently wrote a blog post, um, because a lot of companies this time of year, um, we're recording this in November, from October, November, they're planning for next year, lots of planning and budgeting and scheduling and allocation of who knows what and, and, and, and, and the larger your company, the more, the more formal this process becomes.
Uh, and I think a lot of times we get lost. I am with all the details of what the real purpose is. You can get too far in the weeds to see, to literally see the forest. And I, and I have this big, important thing that is so important to keep the underlying things you plan for anything in the future and or even plan for who you want to connect with.
What do you want real simple, right? You know, there's an expression. What are your wants, needs and desires, which is what. Sometimes the reason want is in the front of that list is because it's real important to know what you want. And what's important to you not talking. I want a million dollars. I don't, I don't want a boat or a trip to Aruba.
This is more along the lines of what are the things that matter the most to you in here inside. And once you understand and prioritize that first, then you start to understand what you need to do. Literally what you need to do to get the desires of what you want. What are the needs? Who do I need to connect with?
Who do I need to talk to? And let's start it back. Who are the people I need to have a conversation with? So then I can establish a connection to start getting the things that I want and desire. Start with that. Don't try to bite off the entire enchilada, if you would, in one big fell swoop, right? You don't want to shove the whole burrito in your mouth.
You're basically trying to say, Hey, I got to take. Um, I want to grow in certain ways and pick the things that you want to focus on. I had this conversation with a young entrepreneur and there's a great expression. I learned from a fellow speaker, uh, that uses this expression all the time. And I love it.
And the expression often is don't compare someone else's middle with your beginning. A lot of people who are speakers, podcasts, there's thought leaders who are growing their brand and, and increasing their recognition across different places. See a lot of the other people and you can have a tremendous amount of FOMO based on someone else's events and, and successes that they've had.
And, and, oh, by the way, Accelerate your own timetable, maybe in your own brain of where you should be at whatever point. It's important to understand that. Well, if that's the goal of what you're trying to achieve, recognize that it's a moving target. There was a long lineage of steps that took place before you ever got there.
Um, I'll share this story. I heard this from somebody else, but I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll give the credit at the end to hear for, I heard it from, are you familiar with a musician named ed Sheeran? Yes, of course. Okay. Well, yes, of course, but if we went back probably maybe like, I dunno, seven, eight years ago, you would have no idea who that individuals, maybe even like six, seven years ago, right?
Well, he didn't all of a sudden just become an overnight sensation. Although many people think that, right, you know, have a couple of hits. This is a guy that literally played in pubs across the UK. And at the end of every night would stand on top of a table with his guitar thing open and would collect emails and business.
Emails and built up an entire list of, uh, followers that he would send us updates and his songs and where he was performing night after night, after night, after night, after night for years. And it was that hard work that he delivered that eventually got him recognized and got him to write the songs and got him on the stages and got them into bigger stages and moved them up and up and up and up and up.
It started from trust me, there's some guy playing a guitar outside of a bar. They're trying to get into a bar to play right now that if he started to think, I want to be ed Sheeran tomorrow. Yeah, it isn't going to happen. There is work in steps that have to happen. So start having the small conversations you need to have to get to the steps of where you want to go to next and figure out clearly what you want first.
And try to figure out the map backwards on who you need to have the conversations with to make the connections to get on that. I love that so much. And since the beginning of our conversation, I've had one of those moments that I can't believe I'm having this conversation because this past weekend I was with a gal by the name of Jenna Phillips Ballard.
And she is just an incredible, a fierce woman that goes after people's inner selves and bring them to life through business. And she was doing a meditation with us and she had us sit and meditate over a meeting ourselves five years. And she likes set the scene and like, you know, how meditations work goes amazing.
And, uh, I get to the, in front of me five years. And I asked the question, which she did not prompt. She said, I want you to think of two questions. You're going to ask this person and see everything about her, how she's acting, what she's doing, what she's wearing, what's the setting. And you're going to ask her two questions.
And so I want you to ask out loud, what's the first question. And the first question that I asked her was, uh, how does it feel? And she responded. And that question we could go into later. But the second question that I asked her was how did you do it? And her response so easily. One conversation at a time.
Yeah. And so the fact that we're having this, I'm like, that is so crazy because it's so true. Everything is Prentice, Dawn conversation. Yeah. And it's important. I think so, you know, understanding that is the first step. And for those that are trying to figure out that, that clear path, look, we all go through our own journey and there is no, uh, someone looked at my career path one.
And said, oh, you went from this to that, to that, to that, to that. And you know, on the move, along the timeline going forward. The dots don't necessarily look like they would connect, but when you stand looking backwards, you can figure out the way that you got up the mountain, right? It's like climbing a peak that you have no idea which direction it goes, right.
You're basically adapting as time hits you in what you need. What you want, need and desire at that particular point in time. Yeah. And so often you get to those false summits too, where you're like, yes, I got what I wanted. I got what I needed. I got what I desired. Oh shoot. I have 50 more years to live.
What. Yeah. And, and, and I think that's actually the, that we limit ourselves in any way. I know this sounds really crazy. Um, someone, someone highlighted me, I'll ask you this question. Do you know when the amazing actor Morgan Freeman got his first. Uh, television job. I think he was 49 years old. Cause when I'm 50, you better not call me old forty nine, forty nine years old.
And he was on the electric company. Okay. So which was on, on public television, whatever it was right after like Mr. Rogers and Sesame street has the voice of God. So, so we're talking about a man who, whose path, obviously there was a lifelong amount of time in between. And has become one of the most successful actors and yes is the smoothest siliceous voice.
She will do my, my obituary one day. Well, we'll think about it. You know, I don't think he ever went to a point and said, you know, this is what I'm going to do. And I've got 25 years to make this window happened, you know, between 50 and however old he is now, we're now he's in his eighties. Um, I think it's more important to think of it this way, that when you think about every day, you have an opportunity.
To do something that you want to do. And, and there was a guest on my show who reminded me this, I'm going to give him a shout out, uh, Trey Roth, he's the founder of haystack, amazing platform, which is all about positive feedback. You should, you should probably have him on the show. You guys would get along redness.
He's also from Atlanta, shout out to Trey here and an incredible platform, which is basically. Think of it as the referral network, you know, like, you know, if Facebook is a social network at J stack will become the referral network because, and it's trying to get away from all the hate and the bad comments, it's all about the positive things that people want.
So Trey has this general thing that, that I ask a question in my program, you know, when you have trouble thriving, what practice do you seek to get yourself back on the thriving track every morning, he wakes up and takes this absolutely huge. And he goes through the, the, the lineage of the odds that he is here today and the miracle that he gets to have that breath and live the life that he's going to about to have and how appreciative he is that he just woke up in the morning.
And he's here today. I don't think enough of us recognize how important that breath is each and every day that we have a chance to truly make a difference. So instead of mapping out 50 years and trying to think about somebody's future or their incredible career, that way, think about what you could do just today.
The conversations you're going to have today. That'll get you the things that you want need and desire and help you so powerful. Lou, I love it so much. And, and to have that connection to this conversation is just going to be that much more impactful for me in the long run. I do. I have five more minutes with you and I have yet to get into the nitty gritty of your backstory.
So you've got to share with me. Where was the revelation season that occurred? Was there like any hardship or, um, childhood experience that led you to the need for conversations or the desire or the I've I've been connecting ever since I was a little kid, I'm blessed with a great family who, a very caring, very entrepreneurial dad and unbelievable entrepreneur and sales person, mom, a coach, ironically, putting all that together, I guess.
Throughout very, very focused on always making sure that I was trying to help others didn't know it, but that's what I was doing. Um, and which is what led me to sales as a natural communicator and bound person and, and work through a career of consulting, helping to connect businesses, um, in wall street to help basically also connect, you know, people and money and investment opportunities and, and recognizing that I wanted to do.
And I had a message that was bigger than what I had been doing in my career. Um, I have an amazing wife with, uh, college aged kids and who literally empower me and drive me each day. The, the moment when I was working on wall street and recognize that I needed to do something different, that was bigger and better than.
And that was going, that everyone else needed to hear. And it was that idea. They created master of the art of connecting. It was the, I have to share with the world what I have learned over these last X number of years, and want to be able to help others build from this because I'm going to be limited just doing this.
And by the way, the, the, it was a leap because I was financially successful. I was, you know, had, I had not only responsibility, but had a lot of other, I had a house, a mortgage, a things, and planning and college and all these things to, to pay for. So taking this leap was a huge risk, but sometimes it's important to recognize that if you know that you can take that one breath today and start something, that's going to make a difference for so many other.
Would you want it to sit behind a desk and not let that happen. You have to take those leaps to make your dreams happen. And you got to figure out when it hits you is going to be different for everybody. My path was that path and that path has been literally thriving loudly every single day since then, um, and has led to even more exciting projects, which we can talk about.
But, but from my backstory, it's just to today's story, let it be known. What happened then doesn't necessarily matter. It's what we're going to do today. And, and I love letting people know that if you're taking the energy and lifting yourself up and doing all those things that you need to do to try to connect with others, the way you can work on helping yourself be and how you can do that to lead yourself, to have great conversations, everything is going to be amazing going forward, because you only made one difference because you're each day you're set out to me.
Just one connection. Think about that. That's like 365 connections a year, and every single day that you do that you are adding to this world and this planet. So, so my backstory had got me to the point that if we're not connecting people every single day, my goodness we're missing out because we know what it's like to be disconnected.
So we know that there takes an effort that everybody has responsibility. Yeah, it's really interesting too, to come off the tail end of everything with the pandemic. And I'm saying tail end, because I'm an optimistic person. And so it's the knowing that it's going to be with us, like anything else, like a flu or this or that.
But we, we, but to think like you were in this space prior to that happening. And so you got to have a whole nother level of research, basically that has taken place in the midst of the pandemic of lack of connection, disassociation identity. That were happening across the globe. Um, and so I just find it really interesting that you were in this space and now able to serve and still thrive loudly on your podcast and the other areas that you were showing up.
So what would you say is like your biggest takeaway from that disconnecting? Um, view that, that lens. I think that the one that we need, we need to be. Uh, if there's one thing that you know, you and I met in a virtual environment, we're still talking in 2d. If you would, um, at least I get to see you this time and, and think of it that how much more impactful it is when we're in person.
Right. I think we all recognize that, oh my God, we really do need to be together and understand how important that is. So it only reemphasizes the importance of having to connect with each other and what we need to do. To make sure that when we can't be together, that we do as much as we can to emphasize and keep the connections rolling from, from the zoom video conferencing to how we need to be, do the energies to the podcast and the things we need to listen to so that we can stay connected.
And, and I think that has only been amplified even more. It was nice to almost have that guy was kind of right before all this thing happened. We need to connect together. So to be able to help people figure out how to do that is really the thing. Okay. Don't tell you, don't pat yourself on the back that you're right.
What can we do each day to make it different? Take that breath to figure out that. It's so powerful. And I think a huge component of my community as they're stepping into like entrepreneurship or launching or things like that for the first time is everyone is so geared towards the connections. If you will, on social media, meaning followers.
And I think it's so much more valuable to say. And I know people who have only 2000 followers, but they have a thriving business, their home life, their relationship. So empowering. And so for us to recognize that we have an opportunity to grow our following, but based on true connection, 365 times a year, think where you would be in that five-year momentum and that 10 year momentum when I'm 49.
And at the point where Morgan Freeman was, right? Like you, you have the opportunity everyday. And I think that's the word that I keep coming back to as your set talking is it's, it's an opportunity. And, and if you don't take that opportunity, the, this association that occurs not only with self, but with humans, When you don't, when you don't say yes to it.
So true. So good. Lou, you've been such a gift to my day. I love wrapping all of the past couple of days together, uh, to come to this point. And so I appreciate you fully. I hope everyone goes and listens to thrive loud. Are there any other areas other than your book, obviously, that you want to send people?
Well, we have something coming up in 20, 22 later in the year. Exactly what we've just been talking about. Um, look, we all recognize wouldn't be. If we actually knew what we needed to do to prepare for all these conversations that we should be having to make great connections with everybody. Well, beyond the lookout, uh, later in it's coming out in fall, September of 2022.
Um, it's my second book, which I'm the most proud of because it is so unbelievably fun and it's so cool. Be on the lookout for speakeasy connect, engage, and win with every conversation. Oh, I love that. I love that. Yeah. So check out, thrive loud. Um, the podcast and thrive loud.com where you can find everything and we will be promoting more about, and there'll be many more programs to a feature and talk about it in 20.
So my, my entrepreneurial mind is thinking as you're going, I feel like speak easiest, such a brandable concept, right? And your connection, power, and your desire to do that. Why don't you do like connection? Like speaking meetups, stay tuned. minds think alike. I love it. So cool. I'll be on the lookout. My community will too.
And please let me know how I can never serve you and support in that way, because I am all for connection. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you so much.
Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sends an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.
You tuned it to share your sparked moment and tag me at bitten faith underscore podcast, or me personally. And dress on. Instead. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and fate podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?
I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out. You know, I'm a writer. So I love words. And I can't wait to read that. I'm ready to fuel the plane with you together.
And until next time, blessings over your joy, how well and wholeness tune in next time.