Loving Yourself as God Made You With Christina Boudreau
I love a good testimony that just like connects with your soul on so many levels. I think everyone has a good testimony, but this one specifically just met me and her temperament met me and it was in a moment where I didn't know I needed it. I needed some somber and I needed some soulful.
Christina Boudreau brought me into a place of deep empathy for women, and for what we walked through when it comes to our bodies and our image.
Christina, is a plus size model, actor, speaker, spoken word poet, and she's also connected to an incredible group, called the Whosoevers. I encourage you to follow both them and Christina on their social media.
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Christina is a plus size model, author, speaker and spoken word poet. She is a member of the Whosoevers who travel the country and world bringing hope to at risk teens and youth.
Where to Find Christina:
@christinamboudreau on all platforms
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Show Notes: Loving Yourself As God Made You
I love a good testimony. One that just like connects with your soul on so many levels. I think everyone has a good testimony. I'm sure yours is great, but this one specifically just met me and her temperament met me and it was in a moment where I didn't know I needed it. I needed some somber. I needed some soulful I needed.
To come off of, uh, the high that I usually live on and get back to that place of like rest and reflection. And it actually brought me into a place of like deep empathy, empathy for women empathy, for what we walked through when it comes to our bodies and our image. Our identity struggles. And so today's guests, Christina, she's a plus size model.
She's an actor, a speaker, a spoken word poet, which, you know, I love, I should have had her drop some lines on us. Um, she's also connected to an incredible group, uh, called the Huso Evers. I encourage you to follow both them and Christina on their social media. You can get all the links below, follow me and the show at the fit and faith.
Subscribe review. They don't subscribe anymore. There's all these things that I could say ring the bell, but we're not on YouTube, but you can check out the show on YouTube. If you didn't know that you can check out Christina's beautiful blue hair and just her aura. That is so lovely. And so, like I said, inviting, uh, and you can do that.
We'll, we'll actually split this show into three subcategories based on the mini topics that we divested invested in divested. Is that a word? Nah, it's all right. See, this is unscripted. Best thing about the show, but being with us in person, when you can actually visually see is also really helpful. So follow the channel, follow Tamra over on St.
Channel. Yes. I just spoke to myself in third person and that way we can see you on another, you can comment there, which is really fun because we can create further conversation. Doesn't necessarily allow for, so we're in all the places that paid media team is in all the places and Tamra me. Yeah. There person, again, likes to show up to serve and connect with you as a community.
So thank you for being loyal listeners, Christina, you are incredible. And I can't wait for more people to hear your story and see the impact that your life is going to give based on saying yes, saying yes to the hard things, but this new city. This new fresh portfolio is going to bring vibrancy that I know people need.
So we honor you and thank you so much for being here.
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit. To connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high that there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories, talents and tips.
Activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith. Welcome welcome to the fit and pay podcast. So excited to be here with Christina.
Y'all it's going to be a good one. If you have not tuned into the fit and faith podcast, where have you been? We've been around for like four years now or something. And it's amazing to have, I think, a little over 250 episodes at this point. So Christina, this is not a new conversation, but it is one first.
And yet I'm excited because every single time I feel like just fresh revelation comes new depths and revelation towards what God has in store for his, his kingdom right now, here on earth as in heaven. And so I know you're going to be a voice into that, and I'm excited to have you. Thanks for being here.
Thank you for having me. It's an honor. Absolutely. So you guys, if you don't know, I want to say your name right board Duro board drew. Close Boudreau, Boudreaux, beautiful Christina Boudreaux. It's a lovely, she is a plus size model who I got actually introduced to your beauty through whosoever is which is not only a, a mission, but it's also a amazing swag line.
And so if you don't own any or you like to rep some Jesus in your clothing, but it's more message driven. Um, I love. And then she's also an author, a speaker, and my favorite, a spoken word poet. And so I'm excited to just learn about your, why your testimony kind of your comeback story to grace. I'd love to hear.
Yeah. Yeah. So I. I think sometimes we have like, you know, just like different parts of our story. And so I think today is I was just kind of praying through, you know, just how sometimes God takes our life, you know, talks about in the Bible, how he's the Potter, you know, and we're the clay. And I think sometimes he allows us to go through things like early on in life, you know, that often shapes our heart, you know, for our purpose and when he's called us to do.
And so, you know, I love the title of your podcast, you know, fit in faith, you know, um, So amazing. And it's such the heartbeat of my life, too, that, you know, even at a young age, I grew up in a home where my mom was from Malaysia, you know, she's east Indian. So she comes from a very small family, like being tall for her family is like four 10 is tall for her, you know, like five foot is I really tall.
And then she married my dad who was this like really tall French Canadian guy from the east coast. Like the women in my dad's side of the family are like six feet tall. And so, but my dad, you know, especially growing up in Southern California, you know, When I'm 32 now, but growing up at the time, it was this very like specific aesthetic, you know, like size zero, like very tall, very, you know, um, you know, very like just like a one track, you know, era like idea of beauty, you know, and even with Hollister and Abercrombie and all this stuff.
And so being like tall, I was like five, nine in the fourth grade, you know? And he was crazy puberty at such a young age. My dad, my brothers are six, four and six five. So that kind of gives like, you know, a radar of where you're at and, um, growing up in. In a home where my mom's family, basically, they, they they're here.
My dad's family's on the east coast, so I was tall, but in a, in a small family. So I was like also a size 12 in the fourth grade too, which is like crazy. I was a club swimmer, so I was working out, but I just had a body of a woman, you know, I was active, very healthy, but. Did it fit? Society's mold of beauty, you know?
And so I would get called names a lot at school. And even at home, you know, like you're big, you're, you're an Amazon, like you're tall. Like the boys in elementary school would say, you know, great Danes only live till they're 10 years old. Cause they have big hearts and they die young. So you're going to die young.
And I would be like, oh my gosh, you know, like it was crazy thing. So I think I just believed at a young age. That in order to be not only beautiful or accepted or loved that I had to be a certain size or a certain aesthetic. And so, um, by the time I was in sixth grade, I developed something called anorexia, you know, like it, I just started, you know, going to the gym, starving myself, you know, you know, restricting.
And by the time I was in eighth grade, I was so. Like hungry, you know, and I heard on a, you know, a talk show on TV that if you were to do, you know, X, Y, and Z, that's how you could like throw up your food. And so I tried it one day and that's where it developed, like bulemia for me, where I basically, you know, between starving and binging and purging, and then the dieting and the laxatives and the diet pills.
It became a form of control for me, but my whole existence was really wrapped around perfection, you know, not just in my body image, but in. School and in sports and all these things. And so going into high school there came, you know, I dealt with self harm in high school and all these things, but especially in the area of beauty, like I had a heart, you know, and people would always say like, Christina, you're so beautiful that I would just kind of say, okay, thank you.
But I actually need to look like this to be beautiful. And even when I ended up in the hospital in high school for my eating disorder and the doctors told my parents, like, she's going to die, unless she gets her. 'cause I was so like, my body was so down, you know, like I had passed out so many times close to cardiac arrest because of just what I was doing to my mind.
Basically, I got sent to this, like, um, this rehab center, you know, treatment center for eating disorders. And it was there that I think, you know, they began to try to chip away at, you know, the reasons why I was dealing with my eating disorder, but I was 16. It was over summer. Like, well, my friends are at the beach.
Like I didn't want to be there eight hours a day, like who does? And so I kind of went through the motions of what I needed to do to just get out of there. Um, which is what I did. And basically. It was right before my senior year of high school that I got on my knees when I, and I just said, Lord, I don't know if I'm going to make it through college.
You know, I don't know if like I've barely made it through high school. Like I was 51 50, you know, cause I was suicidal. There are scars in my arms from cutting. Like my eating disorder had completely taken over my life and it was that night that the Lord completely healed me of a seven-year battle, anorexia and bulemia and my depression.
And basically when I was 18 years old, Just like my journey of beauty and discovering what that was, was when the Lord put it on my heart to be a plus size model, to help show girls around the world, you know, just what beautiful is. And so that was my journey from 18 to about, uh, in 2018, I had that I'm so close.
I was modeled today, but I, you know, assigned with the top agencies in the world, worked with the top clients in the world, but throughout my journey, The industry became all consuming for me. Like I was also in ministry, but I think a lot of the industry was very, like, I was signed from South Africa to the UK and all over the U S but every agency and agents wanted me to be something different.
So I felt that tug in that pole where I didn't even have freedom over my own life with like what I could post on social media, like how I could live. Like even the haircut that I wanted to have. So calculated for me. And there is no freedom when it came to like my body, you know, like even like, there is times where I knew that I wanted it to be healthier, but I couldn't.
Cause I had to be a certain size to be loud of working plus size model, which has been a lie in that part of the industry. Sometimes they promote an image that's like, Oh like overweight, you know, history, you have like a negotiated look and then you have this like, you know, thing, which is not good. So, um, Basically in 2018, I ended up, uh, I actually left the modeling industry at the time for, you know, a season and my friends had a ranch in Montana and I was like, you know what?
I just need to get out of town. So I packed my bags, went to Montana and was just shoveling horse poop every day and was like, you know, in the mountains of Montana with horses. And I did horse camps for kids there, but it was. Basically I needed like my soul needed to breathe. You know, that the industry had really suffocated a lot of that.
And I ended up flying back to Irvine, California, where I did a Ted talk in Irvine on, you know, just like my journey as a model. I called it, I am beautiful. I wrote a book called I am beautiful. And it was such a beautiful experience like doing that. But for me, You know, even as a speaker, right. I think everyone has this mountain top experience that they're like, okay, once I get to that mountain, top of my modeling career or my speaking career, you know, then I'll be happy, then I'll be loved or all these things kind of like even the mentality I had with my eating disorder, but we finally reached the mountain top of even the modeling industry.
And the fog cleared, it was empty. And even as a Ted talk speaker, you know, I did this thing that I didn't even want to do in the first place. Cause I was more of like, you know, I spoke at youth groups and youth events, but then like, it could be a good thing for you cause they could cut a Brit bridge, a gap.
And I said, okay, I'll do it. And cause at the time in Montana, I hadn't left a lot of that just to get away. And so when I flew back down to do it and I flew back to Montana, I basically had a nervous breakdown for a week, you know, and cause I think even that experience of doing a Ted talk and the demand of that, there were so much that went into that process that, uh, I think that was kind of the straw that broke, that broke the camel's back for me.
And I had a nervous breakdown for about a week, lost my mind. And there is a day that I was in like, you know, the cabin where I was at in the mountains and I just. I just, you know, I was having really bad suicidal thoughts, you know? Cause so much of the world says that if you get the followers, you know, if you get the fame, if you get.
The image, you know, then, then you will be happy and you'll be loved and you'll be accepted. And you'll find this fulfillment that you're looking for. But I had had that from the world and it didn't satisfy and I, and I knew Christ and, but there was such an emptiness that I felt even after my Ted talk.
And I just said, God, if this is all that life, is that, I don't know if I could do it anymore. I had had also a lot of trauma. I had walked through, you know, throughout those years as well. And so. Basically, I went to the corner store and I was going to get a bunch of pills and just overdose and take my life because I was just done.
And, you know, and you hear about people in Hollywood that do that, you know, that make this movie and then it's like, they commit suicide. They do this tour and then they commit suicide and people wonder, well, they look so happy, but really behind all of that, like people in the industry are so empty.
There's so. Uh, they're just so dead inside, you know? And so basically that day, the Lord, once again, you know, just spoke to me and it was just a simple, you know, just the voice of the holy spirit, Christina, I love you. And it was just, and it would just, the God just began to speak to my heart, that he loved me apart from what I did.
He loved me apart from my success or from the pictures I took or any of those things. And because what I felt at that time in my life was that I felt like my life. You know, almost like Pinocchio, you have the puppets and each PR there is different all these different strings and all these people were controlling my life.
And I didn't know who I was. So when all the strings were cut, I just kind of like lay flat almost like you see, you know, like the puppets and I, it was like an identity crisis. But through that season, the Lord actually sent me to Florida for three months. Or my phone was on airplane mode for three months.
And one of our good friends, Jared who's, another whosoever is ambassador. He's a pro skater and a youth pastor in Florida. He runs a Bible school. So I sat in as a student in his class and I just let the Lord restore my soul, you know, and in that season, God just reminded me how much he loved me apart from what I.
Which is so key in life, in anything you do, whether you're a mom or a, you know, or a wife or a business owner, or, you know, whatever it is that it's just so important for us to know our identity, that we are loved child of God, apart from anything we could ever do for him. And so even after that time, when I came back, you know, I've continued to model continue to serve and, you know, tour with the whosoever Evers.
And it's been an amazing journey. But I think there's always seasons where even when I was living with my family and my family, you know, I come from an Indian family and there's just a lot of, there's a lot of trauma there. You know, there's a lot of abuse. There's a lot of stuff that gets shoved underneath the rug.
And even when I was with my family, because Indian people live in community. So it. And so there was just, there's this dynamic where like your aunts are also your mom and your uncles are also your dads and everyone's so interweaved. It's, it's crazy. When I was living with my parents, they had invited the family member that had raped me growing up to live back in her house.
And so basically at the time I was probably like 215 pounds. Like to be honest with you, like, I remember weighing myself one day and for me, I know that, you know, being five 10 now, and that my healthy is. It's probably between one 60 and one 70, you know, realistically. Um, and so, and at the time, you know, I was so like, I was walking like five miles a day.
I was, you know, juicing, like I was eating healthy, like, and the waitress wasn't coming off. And I knew that my body was stressed, you know? And so even after this family member left for a time and came back, I was like, still trying. I will look like I went up to like, most I'm like, I'm like a hard 14 at the time, you know, size 14.
But I was like, all my size, 14 jeans were too tight and I was like a size 16. And I'm thinking like, what am I doing wrong? Like, I didn't understand. So even at the age of 30, I was struggling even with my image and even with my weight. And of course my agents are happy, but I was just like, no, I knew this wasn't.
My best, but I was still like, man, I'm juicing, I'm eating healthy. I'm I'm exercising. And I didn't know why the weight wasn't coming off. And so at the end of 2020, I moved to Newbury park where I live now. And I moved into a cottage that I rent from a family at church. And, you know, the Lord blessed me with two horses over this last year, which have been such healing agents in my life.
And. Honestly over this over from 20 October of 2020, when I moved here up until now, I remember I went to, people would say over, you know, however long that's been like a year and a half-ish, they would say, Christine, are you losing weight? And I just would be like, no, I don't think so. Cause I didn't have a scale in my house.
And so I just was like, you know, and I just would, you know, I would walk, I would take my horses out. I was skate, you know, I love going to the beach. I love surfing. I love just. Just being active, you know, I just have always been that way, but I noticed over time, you know, that like my, my, my size 16 jeans were too big and I would have to belt them.
And then like I noticed, even in my size, 14 jeans would, were getting like bigger and I was working out, you know, and I was going to the gym and doing weights and stuff. I couldn't really say I was working out any more than what I was before at my parents' house. And it wasn't until probably a month ago that, you know, I go to Gold's gym here in thousand Oaks and I, I walked into the locker room and that morning, I think I had just had, had like a protein drink before my workout.
And I saw the scale and I just was like, you know, I. Really make it a habit to weigh myself. Like, but I was like, you know what? I just wonder like where I'm at, because in January of this year, I literally had to switch. Actually. It was probably towards the end of last year, I had to get new jeans. Cause all my jeans were falling off.
And for the first time, Probably in, like, I don't remember the last time I wore size 12, I had to get size 12 jeans from target. And I thought, oh, maybe it's just the brand. Cause even as a model, like different companies, you know, have different things. Yeah. But then one of my favorite stores is RSO and Zahra had their sale.
I went to look at their pants, but all of the pants I ended up buying and trying on were all size, tens and twelves. And I was like, oh, I'm curious. So when I weighed myself, I was like 1 67. And I was like, Like wow. And I had people that would literally walk up to me and Christina, are you eating? And I'm like, yeah, of course I'm eating, you know?
Cause I was using weight and I realized, you know, I, I called one of my best friends and she's like, Christina, that's like, That's like almost 50 pounds. And I was like, wow. But what I realized, which is, so the Lord is that oftentimes people who struggle with their weight, who struggle with being, for me at the time I was overweight is really because there's there's trauma, you know, there's stuff they're holding onto.
There's like this extra baggage and through the Lord, I mean, moving here finally being in a safe place where the cops, aren't always at my house where there's not. You know, drug addiction and mental illness and all this crazy stuff happening where I'm not having to go face to face with my abuser every day.
Um, there's been so much peace and the Lord used my horses in my life to bring peace, but it was like this gradual, like healing he did in my soul and with my body to. Like now I love my body more than ever. And I feel like healthy from the inside out because I know what it's like to be skinny because I was anorexic, but really soul was starved, you know, but I also know what it means now to be healthy.
Um, but from a place of like wholeness and healing from the inside out. And I know that even some of my jeans are still getting looser and looser, but I'm just at a point now. Even as a model, like with my career, I completely revamped my portfolio. Then I'm going to be launching with my agents within the next couple of weeks and signing with some new agents that I had walked away from a couple of years ago.
But I, I always wanted as a model to really represent like health and fitness. And not this like overweight, you know, image that for me. Cause when I would look at my photos, you know, being signed with Wilhelmina models from the east coast to the west coast, I would, there was such a disconnect and I just would be like, man, like, yes, I might make a certain amount of money in a day from a shoe, but I still have to live in that body.
And I knew I was overweight. I knew. I wasn't the best version of myself. And that was also the lie bought into was, oh, well the industry says I'm beautiful, but I knew that. I wasn't being the best version of myself, but I settled because I wanted the paycheck, you know, and whatever it is that the industry gave me.
So I think the journey I'm on now as the Lord has completely kind of done like an extreme makeover in my heart, you know, from inside out has brought so much healing to where now, as I go back in the industry, I can really just be an example in a light to. The girls there. And when I look at my portfolio with my colorful hair, I can say that it's a reflection of me because I think oftentimes we put out an image of us.
That's not us. And when I looked at my portfolio before, I was like, this is not me, but now like my portfolio is completely me. And when I, a part of my portfolio that I shot, I shot with my friends who, um, are like the team at urban decay cosmetics. Like she's like the, you know, photographer. Even these other people.
And even then they're known for shooting very colorful, like people. And they said, you know, we've never met anyone like you and they, and, uh, a couple shoots I did before then, you know, cause we had, we did, we're doing like, you know, plus-size models or doing like skincare stuff now. I did this one where I did like many buns in my hair with these like stars on my face and with my colorful hair and the lady that did my makeup does all the vans, campaigns, and yeah.
Which was so cool. And she just said, you know, where do you like, get your inspiration from? And I was like, well, this is just me. And I just began to show her, you know, just who I was, you know? And when I'm on tour with the whosoever is and who I am. And she's like, yeah, she's like, you know, cause something like that, like that's not something that is like, you don't.
Like that it's not wearing you like you are wearing it. You know, like if that makes sense.
And I think that's also really cool, just with beauty, just embracing who God has called you to be being the best version of you. And just knowing that. When you try to be something that you're not even with your body being overweight or underweight, or even in your own creativity with your beauty, which I really dumbed down my creativity because I wanted to book jobs, but now I'm like, no, I'm here.
And I want to bring that creative aspect to the plus size part of the industry, because it was. Like, like clients would tell my agents. So she's very alternative for a long time, but it was just so interesting. I had like a door to explore haircut for a while and I was like, that doesn't even make sense.
You know, like how that doesn't go together. Dora is not alternative. Yeah. And, but at the time there was just no creativity within the plus size modeling industry, which also, I think sucked the life out of my soul because I loved a lot of the creative shoots. So a lot of the streets I was models could do, but now it's starting to kind of blend, you know, and there's a lot more diversity and stuff, but.
Yeah, that's a little bit of my journey and just kind of where I'm at right now and just loving where the Lord has me. And I'm just super blessed, you know, by just opportunities. He's given me ready to just full send back in the modeling industry with the portfolio that he's allowed me to, to shoot and just really put my creativity into.
And so I'm really excited. I love like the rollercoaster of emotions you just put me on. I'm like, oh, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Wow. But I honestly, like I see myself within so many facets of that journey and I think a lot of people who will listen, will feel the same way. And whether it's the weight, that's the fluctuating, whether it's the people pleasing, that's the fluctuating, whether it's the, um, self-deprecation or the suicidal ideation.
There are so many elements that I can raise my hand to. And as you were sharing to know that like the fit and faith piece to what was the original journey that I was on, um, before fit was an acronym, it really was an element of body and it was an element of mind and it was an element. How I felt in my own skin.
And so I feel like there's just an honoring to that, like original Ascension to the name that has now evolved for founders, innovators, and trailblazers, which are a compilation of all in the industry that you exist. Also just in your creativity that you allow God to infuse your life and your soul and your spirit with the vibrancy of color, which is clearly not something that I'm afraid of.
I love color and I love. But I love, um, something that was really distinct to me is your demeanor. And it's, it's a very unique, uh, conversation style that I don't feel like is often met on the podcast because a lot of people are really. High energy, myself included when it comes to like driving towards a goal.
And I love that, like, God has just been with you in like the somber sweet components of teaching you and the fact that he's so. Grace-filled even in the hardest moments that he was so steadfast, it's so apparent in the way that you share and the way that you honor him through your story. And so that part really just, um, amused me in a delightful way.
So thank you. Yes. Thank you.
Fit phase media co is dedicated to activating mission driven leaders in the marketplace by way of publishing press and play because your story doesn't just matter to you. It matters to move others. We help you dissect and share your message through podcasting book writing and business development.
These three areas are exactly how my team and I have opened doors to stages. Selling author. I've always dreamed. I'd be. And even the entrepreneur that energetically and joyfully shows up to serve each and every day, literally nothing I do feels like work every day feels like play, and we'd love to help you live the same life of freedom and fun.
If you're a speaker, a writer or an aspiring business owner, let's jump on a call today to vision cast your future together. Go to www dot. In faith, media.com. Again, that's fit in faith, media.com. Book your call. If you're a founder, an innovator, a trailblazer, or a wannabe, we can help you get there. Let's do it.
I think when I, I was originally learning about how you share through missions and, um, talk to, you know, women's groups and youth groups and, and young girls, I think to like my nieces who were 15 and 16 and, you know, color through hair or something, that's like, you know, a conversation all the time or, um, the different now, like body piercings or tattoos or things like that.
And it's like, where, how do you have. Infuse like taking care of myself and also honoring your body while also being very creative and an I have tattoos. So you're not offending and just have a few I'm like, I've got, I just, I'm curious because I think when I was that age and I was in that space of like doing it either from a sexuality perspective, doing it from a place of.
My body orientation, rather than I'm doing this because of a meaning that it brings me or my hair or, or my physicality. It did feel very void and lifeless versus now I feel like there's a whole other element. Yeah. You know, I think for me, especially with, you know, I like, especially with my. My hair is like, what right now, but my hair is like blue and purple and dark blue.
And so I remember even when I went to, it was like in 20, 20, right before we went on our Boise, like skate tour with her who's whoever's team. I did my roots and I was like, okay, like, I can do some, maybe like a fun color that I can originally blend into what I need to do for like my modeling stuff. So I have.
Pink roots with purple hair, you know, and I remember walking through target and little girls just being like mommy, you know, and sometimes I forget I've colored hair because I've had it for so long, but it was for me. And I always get, you know, little girls, you know, that are like, mommy, can I have hair like that?
You know, which is fine. And, you know, it's, it's amazing because, you know, even in my modeling journey, Hi, like a door, the Explorer haircut for four years. And a part of my transition out one day was I hit up one of my friends and I said, listen, I want to go like white blonde storm from X-Men. We're doing it.
So we did it and it was fabulous. And I did some fun stuff for hot topic at the time, but I remember. At that time, I was still taking, um, you know, slowly taking a step back from the industry know, and my, as my roots began to grow out, I was like, okay, you know, you know, my hair was getting longer. I'm like, okay, we'll just go back to dark.
Maybe I'll do like a volume and do some fun photos with that. Cause it was really natural, but one of my good friends, who's a human trafficking survivor. We went to a. Um, human trafficking, recovery home, um, in Vegas. And she was going to do hair for the women there who are going to be graduating the program.
And when I went with her, she was like, Christina, can I just put some color in your hair? Even if you keep it for a week because my hair was so blonde, like probably a level 10 on a blonde scale, you know, the, for all my hair. And I had like, you know, really dark roots to this blonde. And she said, I think it would be so fun.
So she puts some pulp, bright colors and, you know, like the blue and the purple and all this stuff. And when I put the color in for me, I was like, wow, like, you know, cause you know, and I always get people that say that to me, they're like, you know, we really don't like colored hair and people, cause sometimes it can be.
Like the S you know, it could be the brand or help people where it, it just doesn't work. They're like you, for some reason, like it works, you know, but I was just like, okay. And so I basically ended up keeping it, you know, for a few months. And my agent called me in for digitals Monday, and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, dude, like, and I've been with this agency of time since I was 18, they were my mother agency.
And I'm like, They don't lie. I'm like, they're just going to pull my contract and be like, she's really going off the deep end. And they were so gracious with me and my hair transitions like over the year. Yeah. And so like, literally from, I have like long dark hair, you know, I was Dora the Explorer now. I was like, Pocahontas, then Dora, then storm from X-Men.
And this time I just was like a Marvel character, like anime, something. I didn't know. It was so. I went through all these transitions and they're just like, okay, Christina, like, you know, we're just going to go with it. And when I went in, they were like, that's in writing. I was like, what's in there. We're like your hair and it's not even extensions.
I'm like, no, my mother's Indian. I think that's the only reason why my hair hasn't fallen out because of my Indian hair. They were like, yeah, let's do digitals and send it out. And I'm thinking what in the world? And that was right before, you know, I had really taken a step back from the industry and every.
But it was actually in 2020 during the lockdowns that I started. Just, just kind of dreaming again with the Lord, you know, and just saying God, like, what could I do in this industry? You know, with just the creativity that you've kind of reversed in my life, you know, when the area of my beauty and really something to just inspire girls at whatever your creativity is within your beauty, obviously do it within reason.
But you know, just, just seeing what God can do. Like even when I was in Malaysia, visiting my mom's family at the end of. 2019, I was there for a month for Christmas, you know, to get away from my home situation and to kind of just go visit. And, um, I went to like the, I had been in India a few, you know, months before then, like serving with the widows and the whole like double nose piercing thing was in.
And I thought, am I, one of my cousins is kind of like punk rock a little bit. She's cool. She has like tattoos and stuff and she's full Indian people think she's Tongan because she's beautiful. And during the lockdowns, she had me put like this, like blue in her hair and it was like so fun, but. I was like, you know what, like the widows from India inspired me.
I was like, dude, I'm going to do the double nose piercing, my mom's culture. That's it. You do that only if you're in like a low, like cast in the Indian, like, you know, they have like a cast as no. Sure. So I ended up going to the Indian shop, you know, and I told the guy and they have like real gold there as I have like, like real gold things.
But the currency exchange is cheaper. So it's like this whole thing. I was like, I want to nose rings. He's like, you want to? And I said, yes. And my aunt's just like, whatever she wants, just let her do it. You know, she's a believer in her and her husband are my godparents and my mom's all this. And she loves the Lord and they were just like, just do it.
And so I got like the double nose piercings and my mom's family was. Wow. They called me an S state and an S state would be like someone that has like no class, but it's also like, cause they grew up in a village in Malaysia, you know, like jungle status. So they're like, you're really RNs state. Like you are from the ghetto because that's only people from the ghetto have double those.
But then I come back to the U S and my cousin who's like, you know, Indian and punk rock. She's like, it looks so cool, Christina. I'm like, thank you. And so. I basically, when I redid my whole portfolio, like having my nose, piercings, having my hair, like just like my own creativity, everything, like, I just got such good feedback, you know?
And I, and I've been kind of like waiting on the day that the Lord's like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna launch back out. And so as I've been building my portfolio and just kind of like working with it, cause I have to resubmit. Certain photos to like New York and Europe and, you know, Miami and like all these different areas that the client tells so different.
So the pictures have to be different. I honestly, when I look at my photos now am like, yes, like that is such a, it's an overflow of. Of me, I, of my creativity. But even with that, you know, even with young girls, it's like, don't go out to change your hair or get that tattoo or get that nose, you know, ring or earrings because you want to fit in or because you think it's whatever, like do it because it's who you are.
Like for me, like my hair, like everyone, they call me the unicorn cause. Christina has colorful hair. Like it's like the creativity cause I dress colorful. So like my hair is really just like an aesthetic. Like if I'm just wearing the other day, I was wearing like this top with these like fuchsia pink pants with my, you know, Looney tunes, socks and my Nike pink blazers and my youth kids were like, You're really mild today.
So that was mild for them, which was which, because they know that sometimes I just walk out with a lot of patterns and it's funky. For me, that's just who I am. And that's what I love. And when I was in rehab, my, one of my counselors who is so amazing, I will never forget her. She said, you know, Christina, like you remind me of my daughter who growing up, she would walk out of that.
Wild outfits, like really wild, but I told her you have to be covered from here. And then, you know, like right above the knee, she's like, be modest. Be could wear whatever you want. You just got your mom. So she said her daughter would walk out and it would be wild and colorful and creative issue would be like, Okay.
I guess we're going to do the combat boots and the tool cert today, you know, but at least she's following the rules. So, but she said that when her daughter had a daughter, that her daughter would wear these princess dresses and when she started kindergarten and the teacher said, okay, When you bring your kids to school, make sure they can wear something that they won't get dirty in.
You know, like that you're, you won't be afraid that they get dirty. And she said, my daughter will show up in princess dresses and it's okay if they're dirty, you know? Cool. Cause she said, Christina, like, that's just who God's created you to be like, I've always had this kind of funky style. Very outside the box and who I was in general, but for so long, it's like I was trying to fit a star into a square peg, you know, trying to change who I was.
But when my counselor, who always would say to me, like you just kind of beat to your own drum and that's just how I have felt. Now, at this point in my life, you know, even with my portfolio and even with everything that I'm not looking at, how everyone else is doing things anymore. When I shot my portfolio, I literally, it was so the Lord, it was just crazy.
There was a day that I was like, I felt like the Lord was like, you just need to get like a, like a, like a blue pants suit, like jacket pants, like, cause like orange and like these bright kind of like blocks. And I was like, I just want to do a really cool seat with like doc Martins. And I had this like orange, like turtleneck like that.
I wanted to wear with it, with this. I mean, like, you know, I look like all money, but, and I literally went everywhere and this was like in 2020 where you couldn't try stuff on, in the stores still. But I was still like searching like everywhere and inventory was down. And there was a day that I was like driving past.
Cause I went to this, um, Like Western consignments are. I found this like really cool belt and it was awesome, but I was driving by Goodwill and I felt like the Lord was like walking the Goodwill. So I walk in the Goodwill and I found these vintage. Like blue, like the same blue that I wanted, like pants with the exact jacket, like both were like $5 total from my portfolio.
And it was literally that blue that was trending at the time, but I couldn't find it anywhere, but I find it at the thrift store. It mean the Lord always just have these, you know, these moments where he's like, see Christina, like this is. But I think, I just believe that God loves to create with us, but he loves to just have those moments with us where every time I look at those photos in my portfolio, I look back around like Goodwill, you know, like I really want is like for that shoot, I got three of my office from Goodwill, just like really cool stuff, you know?
And so, yeah. So I just want to encourage girls, like, just be creative in who you are. Like if you. If you like being punk rock, just be punk rock. Like if you are, you know, skater girl, just be a skater girl. Like whatever your beauty is, just embrace that, but don't go to, don't go changing your beauty or be something you're not like when you have a really sweet girl, who's like, I'm going to die my hair jet black and get piercings and wear black lipstick.
And I look at her and I'm thinking, is that really who you are? Or do you feel like you have to do that to fit in, you know, Just the, like who you are unfiltered. Do you know? I think what's really fun about that is there's an exploration in it, right. Because, because of how we see so many different genres of people dress or wear or show up to life, it's like you should dabble and try and does, when you put it on, do you feel out of your body or do you feel like this is me and when it's funny that I'm wearing black right now, anybody who's on here?
No. Totally anti, but I have on purple tie. So, so knowing that it's like, I just will play, I'll play with colors. I'll play with patterns, but I definitely know whenever I try to dress, like I don't wear business suits and I find myself in business. With men in business suits often. And I'm like, I refuse to wear that.
I'm not going to wear that. I'll wear a neon orange suit jacket with a dresser jeans, and I'll just be confident in who I am. And it's amazing how people receive that. Yes. Sometimes with a snarled nose or their eyes turn up, but that's like that. The spirit, no different than if you were to walk into jeans when you're supposed to be in a full length dress and long sleeve, right.
In a specific type of church. And so understanding that we can break the rules when it comes to what is deemed acceptable, but doing so as long as it's in our truest identity. And that I think is where there's that creative exploration that God is with us in that. And he's not ridiculing us in it. Yeah.
It's really cool. Christina, I'm grateful for where you've been, what you've journeyed through that you're so transparent in how you share it. And I know that as you step into this new season and God launches you, it's just going to be another way that you get to speak life into people. Um, even if you're not like if I see you in a magazine or I see you somewhere, like your color is going to be the storyline that people tack onto the glory that God has given to your life.
Honored that we had this opportunity to share and get to know one another. Thank you. Thank you so much. So how can we like follow along the journey? Obviously I follow you on Instagram. Is there anywhere else that we can see and watch, and even seeing how you're interacting with your horses or your missions or with the.
Yeah. You know, I would probably say, um, like Facebook or Instagram would probably be the best place, mostly Instagram. Like I post a lot of stuff on there. And so even as we go like on tour, like we're doing a skateboard tour in Northern California in a couple of weeks. And then I come home and then I go to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for tour, like for a week and a half after that.
And so it's kind of it's, it looks like a really cute like beach town area, but we're going to be doing a lot of schools and just reaching the youth there. And so I love that, you know, that even. I think one thing that's so cool is that, you know, the journey that really God took me on with such a journey of identity that I even told the Lord when the Lord in 2020, you know, as I was kind of researching and, you know, and just got inspired again with my beauty and the Lord really spoke to me.
And so, Christina, do you want one more rodeo, you know, in this industry? And it wasn't even like. Like a, you have to, it was more of an invitation, you know, and I was okay if I never went back in, I was like, I'm good. But I was like, you know what, Lord, I almost wonder what it could be if we were to go back.
You know, as, as me and not as something else, you know, and that's just kind of what I take even into ministry, you know, that I'm cool if, whether I do this too or not, I'm good. Whether I do have that opportunity or not, like I I'm just at a place where I just know that my. My heart is so full of God's love and acceptance and his identity and who he says that I am.
And when you live life from that place, it's so fulfilling that I'm not looking to anything for that. I live from that place. And so, yeah, I would definitely say. Um, that, you know, probably social, probably Instagram, you know, it would probably be the best place. So, yeah. Well, I love that. I love for, to buy art though.
I was just there a couple of months ago. It's amazing. It's amazing. It's have you been to other parts of Mexico? Yeah. So, yeah, we didn't, they have been to a bunch of different other places, but never there. But I heard my friend said that it was a lot different than other places. Yeah. It's more like touristy.
It is. It is. And then if you travel a little bit north, the place that I usually love to stay as printed, they meet that. And then cellulite that is right after that. And by Arthur has that. Components of that Ken Coon vibe where it feels like the east coast can Coon style. But, um, there's definitely like the little pockets where, when you're with the locals, like just the food, the culture, the vibrancy of life.
I mean, I, I don't think I was just on another show about the Mexican culture is just so special. So I know that you're going to infuse life into them. And I love that it's from a place of like strong identity. Yeah, it's really, that's what the world needs most of right now, I think is an identity. Um, crisis is what's transpiring and so many ways shapes and forms.
And so to be, um, uniquely you and doing so with his, you know, resilience and strength, and it's just, it's refreshing. So I'm grateful that you're going to take it around the world and the process. Thank you. Absolutely. I'll be following along on your adventures. And I might have to add, I only have a little bit of pink in my hair right now, but I might have to try it next time.
I love that. Yeah, I'll send you a shot. Thanks, Christina. Leslie. Thank you.
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