• Tamra Andress

Live Your Life on Purpose with Amy Debrucque

Do you need more boldness in your life? Maybe it's in a relationship, in communication, in getting live on camera, in speaking your story, in doing the hard thing in your company, in your business, in your friendship, or maybe it's doing the hard thing in your faith. I know boldness is a part of every single component of life, and so does today's amazing guest, Amy Debrucque.

Amy has a book, actually, a cover in book with her mama, which is pretty rad. I think there's nothing better than representing multiple generations in a message that speaks to all of us. I loved learning about her story. I loved learning her heart for God and for His people, specifically His women. Enjoy!

Key Takeaways:

God always has more to his plan - we need to give Him control

God can use all things for God

The importance of how God wants you to love yourself


Amy is a wife, mom of 4, author, podcaster, cancer survivor, and anxiety overcomer. She is the founder of the Life On Purpose Movement and encourages women daily by letting them know that although fear is normal, courage gets the final say. She recently co-hosted the Embolden Women's Summit and just launched The Confidence Course in addition to having articles featured in Darling Magazine, Thrive Global, ForEveryMom, and Women Encouraged and is releasing her first book, Embolden, co-written with her oldest daughter Blair, in April 2021.

Where to Find Amy:

Show Notes: How to Live Life on Purpose

Okay. Do me a favor. Raise your hand. Yep. Just do it. Raise your hand without even knowing what I'm going to say, because I know the answer is yes. And I know it applies to you. Do you need more boldness in your life? Maybe it's in a relationship. Maybe it's in communication. Maybe it's in getting live on camera.

Maybe it's in speaking your story. Maybe it's in doing the hard thing in your company, in your business, in your friendships. Maybe it's doing the hard thing in your faith. Got to let something go to grow spiritually. I know boldness is a part of every single component of life. And so does today's amazing guests, Amy Dabrye, she's incredible.

She has a book, actually, a cover in book, which is pretty rad with her. Mama gave me a couple of ideas with my mama. I think there's nothing better than representing multiple generations in a message that speaks to all of us. I loved learning about her story. I loved learning her heart for God and. For his people, specifically his women.

So if you're a dude still tune in, because I know you need boldness too, but above all things, just submit, just come into this, knowing that in order for you to activate to the fullness of your purpose, you need boldness. I need boldness. So do the thing, listen to the incredible podcast tune in all things.

And Hey, if you have any questions about this podcast, you know where to find me. So I love her subscribe, review a like. Question that's even more better, because even more, better, more, better, better. Is that a thing? Okay. Anyway, it's better. So what we used to have a question I want to help answer. Do you have a thought pattern that comes up that ignites a limiting belief as we're speaking and you need help breaking that?

I do that for a living. So I would love to help you. And I know Amy would too. Let's pray together. Let's be together. Let's embolden together back. This is your God wink. The moment that heaven says for such a time as this. Own your joy, prioritize your health, discover your wealth and exude your wholeness.

It's time to become truly fit. However, this isn't a fitness podcast though. I'm a retired personal trainer and nutritionist, this isn't business jargon or tips and tricks to land in your successful passion project though. That's totally why I'm a business coach. This isn't a quick fix health detox ploy though.

I'm all for therapy and I love whole foods. I do have a Yolo side. Me too. This isn't confusing religious banter though. I'm an ordained minister, still figuring out the many things and facets and faces of Jesus. It's really none of that. So I'm wondering if you're wondering what is this? Well, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shakers.

As we explore and share our messy comeback stories and discoveries with each of you, fellow passionate. The fit and base movement was birthed through my own trial and error discovery of mind, body, and soul alignment, and to be totally transparent, my own entrepreneurial crash and burn experiences. I've learned firsthand that being fit isn't about our physique at all.

It's not about our qualifying abilities or titles. It's not about our potential. It's truly about our God gifted passions meeting our purpose. You are one step away from achieving your idea. Your dream, your calling, your purpose, whatever you want to call it. And I want to be there for the moment that you say yes, in freedom, clarity, and confidence that you are living fully fit and who, and whose you were made to be welcome to the fit and faith podcast with me, Tamra and dress, there is no better time than now to get fit.

Oh, man. I had never watched those things before they come on. And for the people, who'd have no idea what I'm talking about. You got to come to a live show, you're missing all the fun, because this is where the energy truly gets started and comes through the mic. But, um, that one filter of us. Or have to happen it again?

Cause it looked like you had like those teeth light things. I was like, oh no. Oh,

the whole thing was like a short film. I loved it. Yeah. I mean, amazing job. Oh my gosh. That's not true. Yes. Me. I have a whole team behind me. I'm so grateful for Morgan. Okay. Those, and it's always incredible. We also have good to get your book image up here at some point. I know I saw in your back behind you, so you'll have to pull it center stage here in a minute, but that's not just what we're here for.

We're here to introduce you to the amazing Amy. I'm going to botch your last name, Debra, Debra, but that is the bridge. That is the common way to pronounce it. If you're not sure is . Okay. Good. Good, good. Well, we're so excited to have you, and it's not about last names here. It's not even about our first names.

Ultimately it's about him, which I'm so grateful for, but Amy and I met each other. She speaks and we've had actually several, she speaks to authors. I call us all authors, whether we're published or not. Um, because everyone who goes to that has a desire in their heart to write or speak. And we're doing both right now.

So, uh, let's uh, let's unpack your story of it. And, um, just first off, hi, thanks for being here. Thank you. It's so fun to finally see you, because for those of you who don't know Tamra, when I first met her at, she speaks you the same energy that you're projecting right now. That's just her authentic personality.

That's what drew me in, in one of our sessions in one of those classes is just that authentic, just radiating joyful, upbeat, encouraging personality. So it's an, it's an honor to be here. I'm so glad to finally. Thank you so much. You guys, it was fun actually being with people, we were just talking about everything and she speaks was an in-person and it's like 20 years it's been running.

Um, but it's that obviously with COVID they had to turn it virtual last year and a lot of things are still virtual. She speaks, I believe. Still go to it's incredible is virtual. This year. Lisa TerKeurst is, is a gym. Um, but I got to go to an in-person conference and I hosted it in for I'm hosting an in person conference.

And I know you have a part of summits and all of those things, and we love to bring people together because there is nothing better than actually being in the room and hugging necks and syncing somebody's truest vibe, but, you know, joy can, um, Can be synced through a mic can be synced through here, but it's like, God, it's just literally, it's this holy spirit because I lived a life of just being happy for a long time.

And, um, that was just fleeting. And I know one of your missions is to live a life on purpose and purpose and joy are connected. And so I want to hear about this life on purpose movement that you've created and how you encourage women. Well, for me, life on purpose was, it's funny you say that about being happy, but that's fleeting.

Um, I had a lot of hidden anxiety and so I projected happiness and joy. I wasn't, I just wasn't truly living it. And so it wasn't really into, till I had a cancer diagnosis when I turned 40, which is 10 years ago that I was able to finally surrender. All of my anxieties and fear, you know, when you're a control freak, I always say it's really hard to take both hands off.

I was, I was kind of like still giving him direction as we were, you know, taking this path or whatever. So it wasn't until I find. You know, let him totally take over. And that's what I say when I say surrendering, um, I would never want to sound flippant about that. Like, you know, I never had an anxious thought after that or anything like that.

Cause that's just not true. It's a daily choice that you make. Um, from there on out, that's how it is for me, but it wasn't until that moment that I understood what really in. Um, on purpose was because I was kind of that person who went through the motion, um, consistently. And I had started my journey, um, with two tragic deaths, my brother and my oldest son had passed away.

And so that prompted those years of anxiety leading up to that cancer diagnosis. And so I think when you are constantly somebody who. Isn't actually living in the moment. You're not living on purpose. You're just always trying to get through the day, trying to get through that, that season. And so it was really at that moment that, um, you know, embracing what living on purpose meant.

Um, and then once I started sharing my story, it, you know how that goes, it becomes addicting in the sense that you just need that one person who. It touched by it. And then you're like, wow, I I'm doing a disservice by holding this in. And, um, and so that's really what kind of prompted the whole movement is the more women who can share and to relate and, and show that they're not alone.

And, you know, um, God has a covered. Um, then it's always going to be working. That's so powerful. And I didn't realize, I knew that there was some tragedy, we all have it. Right. Some traumas and tragedy. Um, but then there is triumph every single time when he is involved. And so, um, I'm curious with the losing of your child and also the losing of your brother, um, How with the anxiety that was deposited thereafter, have you had any like research or thought patterns towards how that actually could have led towards the cancer?

Hmm, that's a great question. Um, I mean, I do think that I, I. It's funny. It's certain people hear this differently depending on where you are. I think in your faith walk and all of that, I do believe that's completely connected. And I, and the reason I say that, and this may sound silly to somebody, but somebody not as totally hearing me right now.

I felt like that was the final signal that God was holding up to get my attention to say, are you finally going to trust me? And so, you know, it gives me goosebumps still today. And I jokingly will say, you know, you know, God was working with me here really well, but he was like, she's just not catching on.

She is, she's going to need a little bit more obvious sign here. And so I, I don't feel like it was a punishment, but I do feel like it was his way to say. You either are going to let me have the control. Or you're not. Yeah. That cancer diagnosis was a direct link. Yeah. That's so wild. I mean, literally I I've never asked that question and the way that you initially responded you, maybe you never have answered that question directly.

Um, but as you were saying it, that was literally just what prompted in my spirit. And to know that there's, there's always more to his plan and his plan. Doesn't always look. It definitely when we're trying to control it different than what we would have it be. Um, but it doesn't mean that it's not intentional and that he doesn't use all things for good.

And now even still, you have this amazing opportunity to speak in to other people's hearts and, and bodies even, and minds towards healing and towards, um, we were saying this weekend that you're not a survivor, um, you've survived something, but you're not a survivor that you. Are triumphant and that you are victorious and that you are able to claim a different name than just that, um, because of who you are.

And so, um, I'm grateful that he got ahold of you and he did. And now that you can live a life on purpose and that to unlock that for other people is exactly what he would have you do and why you're so gifted at it. Um, so tell us, tell us more, tell us about embolden and was that parallel to the life on purpose movement or that kind of emerged later?

Cause I know you went to, she speaks, you said that with the different thoughts. Yeah. I went to, she speaks actually with. Sharing my story. That was my manuscript that I had presented and, um, and was totally ready for that. You know how you, you have your mindset, like this is what God wants me to do and, you know, Triumph.

I felt like in finally getting the life on purpose and what that meant and how I was going to really, you know, perform in that way. And then, um, it was my daughter's sophomore year at college and she had come home and she had had, you know, a lot of the struggles that I think young women face at that age, you know, she was 20 at the time.

And, um, in the morning she, and I just kept having these regular conversations. I thought, you know, um, I feel like we really need to create something because I remember having those same issues at her age. And, um, while it would have been a great resource to have in pick up if that age and feel like you're not alone.

And I think it's also hard in, in bolding kind of birth out of this as well is when you're an introvert. And she, and I, she's very similar to my personality. And when you're more introverted, it's hard to. People don't understand that it's hard to do simple things. Even when you are a strong Christian, like join a Bible study or do just do something new out of your comfort zone.

And so I thought, you know, what, if we created something where. Maybe the girl, um, isn't at that point yet, but she could still find some girls in confidence just from reading, something that we have. And the other part too, to embolden was really creating something for the Christian and non-Christian young woman because she went to a Christian college, but there were a lot of women there who didn't know the love of Christ.

And she said they would never even consider picking up a devotion or going to a Bible study because they didn't feel qualified. Which makes complete sense. You know, when you hearing those words, as someone who's just coming in, you wouldn't naturally sign up for that if that's not your personality. And so we kind of had dual purposes going when we created this and if we just started writing and we did it, it took us about, oh gosh, eight months and send it out to a publisher last summer and got picked up by Aribel.

It came out in April. That is amazing. I love that story so much and I have a super close relationship with my mom. So I think co-writing, there's so much power in that one because a lot of people don't have those relationships with their parents. And additionally, there's that cross-generational breathing of life that's happening based on wisdom.

Right. Also based on having your feet planted in that exact season, it's like, I can relate. And then there's also this ability to emerge because of you having emerged. Um, so I'm excited to get my hands on it, um, for sure. And, and go through it. And I think a big part of that is, is that idea of not being.

Used to the limelight, not being, um, in that perspective, because that's all, I've always been on stage. Like that's literally been my life. And so when somebody, specifically clients come to me and they're like, oh my gosh, I want to do this thing, but it's so hard. And like, you just gotta do it. Like, it's so fun.

And I see him in that perspective, but just because I example it well doesn't mean that, and I get nervous. Don't get me wrong. Like, I, I. I was shaking when I got up on stage the other weekend. And then I started dancing and praising God and it all went away. But, um, it's this knowing that the introvert also has a really, really critical role in the kingdom.

Um, and God is Elian, but he's also a lamb and that he needs all of us to partner with one another in order to show the abundance and every personality trait that he carries. Yeah, no, that's so true. That's so true. And just the fact that you're able to recognize that. And I think a lot of times I don't even think it's purposeful.

I think it's just an accidental overlook of, you know, oh, why aren't they doing this so well, sometimes I don't think it's the, the drive to not want to do it. It's just that overcoming that personal hump in getting themselves to do. Yeah, that's really good. And I love that you talked previously about that understanding of qualified, um, and that they can be Christian or they can have a belief system, um, in who God is, but there's not that like true authority or both.

And when the holy spirit is deposited in you, boldness is a part of that because he is bold. And I had this incredible, um, experience with a, a woman this past weekend, too, who came up to me to talk to me specifically about this. We need a prayer. It was two of them together and they wanted to step boldly into their business.

And so that was their request was bold and it immediately triggered a memory that I had on January 1st of this year, um, that I, when I was in, it was in the throne room. Uh, not physically in spirit. Right. And, and we were taking communion, um, with one of my clients who now has an incredible business. Um, he made her whole is the name of it.

I totally recommend their Bible studies and everything that she does, but she was ushering us in and I was just there to support. Right. Like as a coach, just be like, I'm so proud of you. Let's do this thing. Sure. I'll jump in. Knowing of course, that always is going to be there because he's within her. And, um, she encouraged us to go and do a communion and I didn't have.

Wine one because we don't drink and we don't have it in our house, but two, I didn't have juice because we are like landscape design for our kids, all this stuff. And so I'm thinking, I'm like, oh, I got coffee. That's fine. I don't have anything to eat. That's like of bread, nature. And so I run into my cabinet and I'm like, oh, here's a very old.

Stale thing of little cinnamon squares, organic sentence squares from trader Joe's. I pick them up and I'm bringing them over and I'm sitting down and as she's talking about communion, I was literally feeling guilt. And in my mind, I was saying, I'm not qualified right in this moment to take communion because I'm not doing it the way that the church tells me to do it.

The rule is telling me to do it, or any posture is not where I'm supposed to be, but it was exactly where God had intended me. Cause when I took that little square and I put it in my mouth to signify his body and the brokenness that he experienced here on earth and behalf of Jesus, um, he said, I am that sweet and I was.

Oh, I started laughing and crying simultaneously and I still had to take from the cup and I immediately felt the guilt again. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm drinking coffee. Like, this is terrible. This isn't, I should have at least picked up some water. I do have water in my house. Right. And I took it to my lips and he said, I am that bowl.

Hmm. Wow. Yeah. And sweetness. And that is so parallel to this conversation. I look bold, you look sweet. Um, but he is both. And so introvert, extrovert, whatever you clarify yourself, as you get to be that, and you get to do it with confidence ultimately, right. Rather you're whether that, what, however that looks or however that comes to play.

So I just had to share that. Thanks for letting me. I love that. I think that that's an amazing story. And I think that nice part about that you kind of framework here is that it didn't look like how. Was expected to look. And I think a lot of times we do a disservice by overlooking, you know, like we didn't want to overlook that girl who isn't there yet because of what, what's the point, if we're only preaching to the believers, right?

I mean, he's going to ask someday, you know, who did you bring with you? And so I just always feel like if we get too hung up on the traditional aspect, Of what the faith really is. Then we were going to miss a whole generation possibly, or just that one woman who really needs to know the love of Christ, but doesn't need to have the traditions down in order to feel like she's qualified together.

You're so right. And I'm thinking of all of these women that I got to be with. And man, there was men there too. Um, people who had tattoos, people who had tongue rings, people who had different color hair, people who like me sit on stage and a peak of my stomach was showing, oh my gosh, are we actually in church right now?

Yeah, we actually are. And so to break down the barriers, especially for your child, for your daughters, um, perspective, those lenses that they have been put on are glasses. I call them drunk goggles that they have been given from the church. Like the church has kind of sing out. Inadequacy, they're passing out.

Lack of confidence there. They're passing out confusion because they're saying things that are not biblically grounded, and God loves you. All of you, everything from colored hair to the skin on your body. And though it might be, um, you know, a little controversial. He still loves all of you. And he loves you that you claim that confidently because his name proceeds your tattoo or your tummy or whatever that is.

So talk to us about confidence, because I think that is honestly where a lot of people. So stifled and I just got off a call with somebody with confidence. So it's crazy that this is coming back up. Yeah. Well, I think confidence is a, it's just something that never ages out. Right. I mean, obviously I'm more confident now than I was in my twenties.

So I, I, again, you know, when I'm talking about like my daughter and, you know, I have two daughters and two sons, that's something that doesn't, I love that I have bono. I love the little guidelines of between. Um, I think competence is just something that you always have to. Embrace. But I think the stronger my faith became, the more confident I became, because you know, there there's something freeing and letting go of the fact that you have to be responsible for all of that.

And so if I'm getting my confidence through him, then I don't really have to ever worry about, you know, feeling good enough to do this or brave enough to do that because I know he's always walking alongside of me. And so it was kind of a shift in perspective for me, that's kind of. My competence came from finally, you know, I mean, sometimes, like I said, I wasn't the quickest one to catch on Tamra.

I'm always grateful. He got ahold of me when he did. And I'm always like, why was I so old? And then people are like, why were you so young? Like, you're so blessed that you got to do it so young. Yeah. Didn't feel that way. Cause I was a mom already. I was a wife already. And so when I get to be with younger women and I'm sure you feel this way about your daughter and all of her friends and everybody that you impact, the way that you do, it's this like the shaking that you want to give them.

And I'm thinking like even specifically of my nieces who are still in high school, it's like, I want to shake their shoulders and be like, got to understand this and this and this, but ultimately just understand that. And it's that if you're watching or listening is I'm pointing, I'm saying people are our exteriors, right.

Existing. And ultimately they just need to vertically align with who God sees them as and who he is as a whole, because everything changes, everything changes when you know him intimately. Um, and confidence is a part of that. You know, we're blanketed in this culture that, um, is telling you that confidence is a part of your skin, right?

Or a part of your sexuality or a part of your lack of belief. Um, Simply not the case. And so I love that you're speaking into it, but you're probably so much more passionate about it now, knowing that you weren't saved at that point. And so wanting to pass salvation. Right. Right. And I think too, you know, because when you are somebody who lives with, um, severe anxiety, like I did, you know, fear.

Is it a huge role in that? You know, it has a huge part in that. And so, you know, when you're living in confidence, you can't help, but not be living in fear anymore. And so it's such a, it's such a, um, life-giving experience to, to remove that fear. You know, I always say that fear is normal, but courage gets the final say, but you have to choose that daily.

Like I said, you know, surrendering, isn't a one and done. Um, opportunity. It's, it's, it's an opportunity that we can have every morning and say, you know, I choose to be brave today to do this because we're always going to experience things that feel overwhelming or, um, you know, going to the doctor could be overwhelming and you just don't know what to expect, but if you have that confidence and knowing that he's going to be right beside you, and there is a purpose for it, then the fear doesn't get to win.

You have to say that again about courage. Say it one more time. The same that you always say. So fear is normal, but courage gets the final say, uh, I read that in your bio. And I was like, this has to come out and I wasn't sure how it was. And I'm so grateful that you said it because I think every, no, every yes.

Right. Whether you say yes to something that you shouldn't say yes to, or you're saying no, because you don't feel qualified. It's all, everything, every choice is, is rooted in fear. Um, and is it God-fearing? Hm. Or is it the fear of man? And that is the choice. And it, what happens when you choose the fear of man as the path that you choose, which was, uh, so part of my story, I was a fearful of what other people thought of me, not what he thought of me.

I was fearful of, of if I was going to make them happy. If as I people pleasing, was I doing things out of achievement? Was I doing things out of 'em. Just every other person ultimately was never for me. And I don't mean that selflessly. I mean it selfishly because I was so, um, frail and my confidence and on the exhale, you know, it would, no one would know that, right.

It's what's happening on the mental space, that anxiety that was happening on the inside of me that was boiling out and leading into more poor choices. But when I became God-fearing because he got ahold of my life as similar to you in total different situations, Um, he precedes you. And so you don't have to be fearful because he's in front of you.

And so I think of him in he, and it's even biblically sound that he is our shield. Right. And so if you have a shield in front of you, you're willing to walk into the fight. You're willing to walk into the battle. You're willing to show up even naked and afraid. Cause you have some fatty something covering.

Right. And that's what he does. He's our covering. And so I love, I love that saying so very much. Well, and I think it's easier to choose also if you're, like you had said, when you're kind of balancing that out, what is the fear rooting from? Is, is this going to be. Life giving or is it going to be life draining?

And sometimes we have to almost categorize those to make, uh, to make the right decision for ourselves at that time. You know, I mean, a lot of times, I mean, I'm a huge, a reactor. I'm not so much as I've gotten older, but you know, I'm more emotionally driven. And so you react before you're thinking. And, and a lot of that played into my anxiety and fears years ago.

Again, you know, that's the beauty. Every wrinkle has provided a little bit more ounce of wisdom. And, and so I never regret that. I think it's, it's just a matter of deciding, you know, what is really going to add value to my life, to my life. Not some, I mean, not in a selfish way because in my life, in the sense where I can actually be a light to somebody else, or is this just my own selfish desires?

And I think this is. Between desires and actually, you know how we should be living in his book. I love this so much. This weekend. One of the speakers on stage was asking us, like, what are you, why not? Why not? Why are you not doing this thing that God has called you to do? And what's the limiting belief to that.

And I wrote down almost exactly what you're saying and different phrase. I said that I feel like I'm manmade this God-sized. Yeah. I feel like I, in my selfishness have created this huge vision. And I told him this, I got him off stage afterwards and set them to the side. And I was like, mark is like, this is what I feel.

And yet I know that the truth is that it's a God-sized dream for a reason. And ultimately he was like, how in your flesh, in your ability, in your current bank account, in your current knowledge base, in your current connections of relationships, do you think. You are going to be able to go to the nations.

It's not going to happen. Right. He will make a way. And so it's the same thing. When you talk about selfishness or selflessness, it's the importance that self isn't involved or reason because God made you right. And he selfishly made you. And you alone to answer the calling that only you can answer. And so be selfish over your dream.

Be selfish over your wellbeing. Be selfish over your mind. Don't let the enemy and destroy it. Don't let the enemy take hold there. Be selfish for your wholeness. Right. I lived a life so far away from that truth for so long. And it's because the enemy wants you to stay in this strangled belief that your dream is not a God dream.

It's a self-made dream. So I felt released from that this weekend. And I believe what you're saying is so connected. All right, quick pause. I love that you're tuning into this show. Really your shares, your subscribes and reviews. Even your listens mean a ton to me personally, and honestly, to all of us who put these shows out weekly for your listening pleasure.

But are you ready? I think it's time that I put you in the hot seat for a question. If you're resonating with all of these, multi-passionate God loving success stories, then I bet you move one of your own. Maybe you're even in the midst of. That regardless, there is a deeper message inside of you. I am sure of it.

It's your why factor the thing life? So here's the question. Why not turn that mess into a message by starting a podcast of your very own it's time for you to amplify. And since I've been broadcasting for a couple of years now, and I've trained dozens of shows into launch, I've also hit top of that charts across the globe.

Why would you want to learn from anybody else? So I'm also pretty fun. And so it was my team and we put together this e-course and don't stop here. Don't fast forward hold. I know you're thinking e-course me course. Everybody's got a course, but this one is truly as good as it gets. I give you behind the scenes.

Step-by-steps my team is screen-sharing exactly what they do. Post-processing there are video modules and the workbook. Plus we offer direct group coaching with us. No videos, us live in action. Let's create that human human connection. Really there's nothing like it. I would encourage you to go check out Tamra, and check out the course tab.

Once you get there, there's even a free mini course option. If you want to see the behind the scenes and not really take my word for it. So you should take my word for it. You're here listening to me right now. So I appreciate you. We love you. We encourage you, but girl, boy, man, woman, father dogs, whatever.

It's time for you to amplify. All right, let's get back to the show. Well, I think it's also easier. Isn't it? To believe those lies, especially if you have any even shred of doubt or fear. I mean, it, it just feeds off of that. And so I think it's easy to fall into that trap, but it's always just so much more important to, well, you know, not only just to go back to what you know, to be true, go back into the word, but, and this is another good point that you're talking about.

Um, yeah. Connecting with other godly people who can round you back. You know, sometimes we get so far in our own minds, um, that we can't see straight out. And so we need that other person. We need that counselor that's maybe just that step ahead. I say they don't have to be leaps and bounds ahead, maybe just one step ahead.

Or just in a different perspective where they can see something that you just can't because you're holding yourself back. And so I think that that's really important is to have that person or those people. Where you can go to when things are happening, because I mean, like you said, I mean, he was right there.

You, you, you took it that step further, you knew you needed more than just to write it down. You needed to verbalize that out to somebody else. And there's a reason for that, because once you speak that it loses power over the fears that you had in, in what you're saying, that's that are the lies and he's speaking truth back into you.

And so I think that that was that's great. Yeah, I think, you know, even bold people have those moments and have those thought patterns and whether you're in the limelight or you're the person supporting the person in the lime light, which I've learned a lot about like wealth dynamics and the understanding that there are the people who are meant to be mechanics and Lords and all that.

Phraseologies that they use to label the people to know that your, your action behind the scenes is equally as important as the person who's in front of the scene. Um, and I think speaking out our truths or our lies are so critical and we're called to share our testimony for a reason. Um, and so. So important that we do that and do it vulnerably, do it scared and realize that God's going to bring people in.

And ultimately what you're saying, Amy is iron sharpens iron, right. And that's a little bit ahead. Doesn't mean that they have everything just right, because nobody is perfect. It's the little bit ahead in the area that you need sharpening in. And so everyone that's in my inner circle, we sharpen each other all the time.

I have people who are more spiritually sound and aware than I am. I have people who are more physically fit than I am, and I have more people who are more mentally stable than I am. And I do that with intention as we cultivated these circles of people that we love and trust. Trust being a huge part of that is the knowing that I put people around me that are better than.

All the time so I can rise up. I can level up, but I also am better at a lot of things than they are intentionally. I don't look at it and be like, oh, that person needs to get to the gym. Let me help be her friend. No, but there's a spiritual obesity that people are sitting in, in their bodies being obese simultaneously.

And they're using that as their crutch. They're using that as their excuse. They're using that as their reason. Saying yes, because there's limiting beliefs that, oh, I am well in my soul, so I am well, but there is more to life and there's more to living on purpose. Just like you teach then that. Right. Well, I mean, I think like you had mentioned those being vulnerable.

People relate that that's where the authenticity is. I mean, if you can't be vulnerable and let people really see where you're coming from or what your experiences are, you know, what you're dealing with, then how can they possibly relate? How can they actually feel like they can trust you enough to come alongside you and, and be that person?

You know what I mean? I, there has to be. And you pointed that out. There has to be a real. Honest level of trust, where they can say, okay. I mean, if I'm always projecting that I have it altogether all the time, who really wants to be around that, I mean, you know, really no one's going to trust me with them.

Um, junk because I'm not willing to share my own hard lesson that I had to learn. Um, that's a pride, that's a pride lesson that I certainly has ego ego, you know, sits in our way all the time. So it's, it's important for us to realize that every day that's a check every single day, that's a check. Um, you know, I, I got up on that stage this weekend and I'll continue to get up on stage that weekend and I'm doing it right now is like, I am not wearing anything.

Okay. Like, there's nothing here. And I watched these beautiful women get up on stage and you know, when you're sharing vulnerably and a place of faith, um, you cry a lot and, and I'm watching them cry and they're like, they can't wipe their eyes. They can't wipe their tears because of their beautiful makeup that they have on.

And I, I am a guilty of this guilty as charged, but, um, I want women to know. And I learned this lesson at the very beginning of COVID when I one wasn't wearing any makeup for weeks on end homeschooling my children. But also when I went to put it back on and my son asked me, why, why are you doing that mama?

You're so pretty mama. Why, why are you doing that? Dad already says, you're so beautiful. Like, who are you trying to impress? And it made me realize that I don't need to take stage in my life every single day. I don't need to take a selfie. I don't need to be in the mirror if I can't be vulnerable. And vulnerability is something that I think men oddly do well exteriorly, but they don't do well interiorly.

And we, as women are pretty good at being vulnerable on the inside and sharing the mess that we're in. But exteriorly, we are not good at it. Hmm. That's so true. You have a first person. I've actually heard, say that out, but that is. Exactly the experience that I've I've had in and can relate to as well. I totally agree.

I mean, I put makeup on for you today. I'm not going to lie, but

it might, it was like a running joke. It was my hair. My hair was sunglasses on the forehead. That was my hairdo for the day. And. Or a bunny. And I mean, I am a diehard of had I known

one from this morning, but, um, but that is so true. I think that women have a harder time with that. I don't know for me, it was, um, It was that struggle of knowing that I was a capable person and not wanting other people to know that I wasn't capable of fixing myself. And so that's where the pride came in for me is that if I'm capable, why can't I fix myself?

And until I do, I'm not going to let anybody know that I'm broken. And so, um, you know, that was a hard, that was a hard lesson for me, but one that I definitely needed. Yeah. That's really good. We actually, uh, in my season of brokenness and I'm still broken. Right. We're all not perfect. Um, but it's this knowing that we actually drove past hundreds of churches in our city, um, in order to go to another city.

In order to go to a church where no one knew us. Um, it wasn't fully intentional. We called every church in our city to go to it. The ones that we knew, it was 11 of them. And, uh, everyone said no that they didn't have a service that Wednesday night that we needed it. And, um, so we drove, but we continue to drive for three years and we were always saying how grateful we are that we weren't in our neck of the.

As we were, we being every single Sunday, we were altar calling every single Sunday. Um, you know, and I went from being this really fragile person who previously was confident. Then I was standing in fragility, which I'm sure you felt so many times either upon. Death or upon your death bed when you were experiencing cancer, is this knowing that fragility is equally as bold and equally as seen, and this is exactly the conversation, but way deeper from being in the limelight versus being behind the scenes.

Right like that boldness and fragility. And so we've emerged and we go to a church in our own city now, and we're willing to cry and weep with people are willing to go over to that person if they're weeping and pray over them, because we want them to know that they're seen in that fragility and that their fragility is brave.

Yeah. That's what we need to do. I need to get on stage more often and I need to help clients I've found with clients. Literally they don't wear makeup like they did before. No falsies, no nothing, because they feel beautiful in the school given they were gifted and I am not a pro or anti stick on, okay.

People just know my makeup, I'm not pro or anti makeup. And I never knew that that was going to be a part of my story. But it is. And if I didn't share about it and talk about the fact that the day before I asked my husband, do I, should I put on light lashes? Should I go? And like put this makeup on because it looks really good on camera.

And like, they look beautiful. They look amazing, look like a million bucks. And he was like, I love you the way you are. I'm like, I know that's what you're supposed to say. Or my husband, my son, if I was to say that, but when it's where five-year-old. Yeah, he's telling you, it just, it took root in a new way.

Yeah. Yeah, because that stuff fades. I mean, we know it and I think especially, I mean, I'm a lot older than you are. I just turned 50, so it really is fading hard and fast. You're studying stat it, but I mean, I do think that there is something to be said for it. Being comfortable and confident in your own skin, regardless of what that looks like.

I mean, I do take care of myself. I mean, I also think there is intention. And so I think when you feel like you are putting in the intention and effort, um, Because I think we should be worth it. I think, you know, God created us to take care of ourselves. You know what a gift, right. He gave us life. I should have at least be able to eat the healthy foods, you know, brushing your teeth.

It's gotta be totally, I've gotta be okay with it. At the end of the day after I've done what I, after I've done my part, I need to feel good about what's looking back at me. Yeah, I think that's so important. And we've got people listening I'm older than both of you and don't wear makeup. Kelly, you rock.

We, we want to be like, you're, it's it's this knowing that like, yes, you can go to the salon. Yes. You can get your nails done. It's not about. You're like covering though, right? It's like knowing that you get to be fragile, you get to be broken, you get to be vulnerable. You get to be true. You get to be completely whole, and still really proud of that wholeness that you've worked so desperately for that God graced you with.

Um, but it's the knowing that there's just gotta be in the ultimate word that I'm going to come back to as the, as my belief is it's about your posture, right? Yeah. Well, where's your heart postured. Where's your head in your posture of self? Um, because ultimately it's about surrender and that whether you're looking down at your feet, because you just, you can't even look into the eyes of your maker or you're looking right directly in his eyes.

You get to be proud either way right now. I totally agree with you. Posture is a huge thing, but I think people overlook that I don't people think about that. You know, especially when you do get hung up on the exterior, I don't, people are thinking like that. I love how you say you could be looking down or directly in his eyes or, you know what I mean?

It's like, but you have to be proud of who you are. You have to feel good about the person he has created, what you're doing. That's where the beauty comes from. That's where people see the beauty in it. They see it in the broken. You know, they see it from the girl who's crying on stage. Like when we went to, she speaks, when we would go to those powerhouse emotion, I mean, you weren't expecting it, those meals to be so emotional, but they were, they were so impactful and full of emotion and connection.

And so the woman next to you who was crying, ugly, tears looked so beautiful in the sense that she was able to, to express that you could see the holy spirit working through her. And it was, that was the beauty. Like that's what people. I guess like when we were saying before, we even started recording that as the beauty of the in-person connection, because you can't see that on a highlight reel, you can't see that on, you know, filters.

It's the woman next to you. That's pouring out her heart or you see that, how she was touched by somebody else's words. That's beautiful. There's nothing. There's no like that. You're so right. And we've got this gown. I just want to pour into her right now. Cause I feel called to, um, Kelly, who is listening and she's saying I've never really worn makeup.

This is the one who said that she was older than us and she's never worn it, but she's also never felt beautiful. And. I think Kelly, you're going to our ability, not only is stunning first off and beautiful. You are beautiful. It's this knowing that, um, the world tells us beauty is one thing and God himself is beautiful and God lives within you.

And therefore you by nature of creation are beautiful. And so. There's a definition exchange that has to happen at the same time as you exchange your life. When you give your life over to Christ, there's a definition exchange that happens on what is beauty. And I've been on the opposite. I felt beautiful a budget million times, but it was exterior beauty.

It was caked on, in a, like a mask. And I say this both in makeup, but not, I'm not even talking about makeup. I just mean like, I. I worked to look pretty and that's the word I'm going to use? Not beautiful. I went to the gym to have a good figure to work off. What I thought was what magazines told me about MTV music videos told me about what men told me about what I saw in Playboy magazines when I was four and five and six.

What the three year old version of me had to do for somebody else who was older than me, because I was pretty, you guys, we all have areas of our life that we feel completely ugly in, but when you take that exchange, you get to own beauty in such a different way. And you get to let people like myself and people like Amy, call you beautiful and actually believe.

All right. And I think that that's the key. It's the last part is you have to believe it at some point you have to, you have to just believe it, even if you can't see it. Everybody else can see it. God can see it. And then you just have to believe it. You have to trust there's the trust issue. It doesn't matter what the fear is.

And maybe the fear is the fear of not being beautiful, but you have to believe it. Like, I, my fear was different. Your fear of something else until we trust that God knows. You know what he believes. That's when we can change our mindset, but we have to trust him first because he doesn't make a mistake and he doesn't lie.

And so if he says for beautiful, then we are end of story.

Well, I was on mute because I'm over here. Just like taking all the notes. This is so good. And you're so right. And so he said, you said at the very end, you said, because he says you're beautiful. You are right. Yeah. I mean, you have to take his word for what it is. If we don't, then we're still trying to be in control.

We're still trying to put on that mask, whatever the mask is, like you said, it doesn't have to be makeup, whatever that mask is that you're putting on to, you know, try to buy into something else of somebody else's standard, then we're wasting our time. He's already set the standard. He's already told you that you're beautiful.

And then it's a matter of you trusting him enough to believe. Okay. I was on a podcast yesterday and the person had a mic and they just dropped it and I don't, but I'm going to say that's it. That is truly, truly it. Your confidence, your boldness comes from the one that you trust that trusted you enough to literally birth you, to plan you out in his magnificent story.

He birthed you to be here. He birthed you in beauty so that you could help his ultimate mission. Right? I mean, that's miraculous. That's beautiful. And so if you have a hard time getting in front of a camera, you have a hard time looking in the mirror. Stop looking at yourself. Yeah. Right, right. Yeah. Look at the creation.

That is you. Exactly. Cause he doesn't. No, he doesn't, he doesn't make mistakes. So if we're not believing it, then we're saying, what we're saying is that we don't trust him. Then we don't believe him. We're believing somebody else. This fuse lies, but you know what I mean? Like you have to trust him and listen, Kelly, I'm going to say this.

I, I know how hard it is to trust. Even when you do believe I've never not identified as a believer with all of my years of anxiety. If you had asked me, I would tell you, oh, I never felt like God was punishing me for the death of my son or my brother. I never had that. I never hated God, but I was not living.

A godly life. I was not, I was still trying to be in control. And so I understand the difficulty of trusting. I don't, you know, don't get, I'm not saying you're not a believer. I'm just saying there's so much more, there's so much more of a connection, so much more freeing. Um, when I surrendered and fully trusted him, it was such a burden to bear.

Feeling like I had to carry around that weight of those lies and that anxiety. And so that's the freedom I would love to see in you. Kelly is the trust and the freedom that comes from that. There's nothing like it. It's a measurable and Kelly. This is literally going to be a sound in all of eternity because Kelly May not be your name.

Your name may be Pam, your name, maybe Amy or Lauren. But this message is for every single one of you listening and Kelly, we're grateful that you are here on this slide with us to be able to not only experienced this, but to know in our vulnerability, we don't have it all figured out, right. To know that even in our faith, that is a mustard seed.

When we put that in front of us, we have that confidence. But sometimes our faith is behind us. And the thing in front of us is an enemy lie or a limiting belief or a road that we choose in alterior to God's perfect will. And so we're all becoming, I say that that's the new title. She met me when my title was fit in faith, but the new title is called always becoming because.

There's grace in that, but there's also truth in the fact that perfection, which is the thing we often strive for both in our boldness and both in our exterior beauty, even in our confidence. But if it's not rooted in him, it's worthless. Definitely definitely. And, and I think that what whoever's listening and we said this before, it's always for that one person and they're always going to be enough, whoever it is, you know, where you, like you said, we were addressing Kelly, but it could be anybody.

It could be the one person who is not brave enough to speak up right now. And she maybe needs to hear your word spoken into her. And so then that's for you as well, but everybody's broken. Everybody is broken. Even the most visually beautiful person has their own brokenness. And I think that that's. I think that's been the disservice, in my opinion, to social media is people forget that.

I don't think we were as bombarded with that, especially me at a younger age because we didn't have that. So now you're just so consumed with a higher highlight reels and the perfect filters that you forget. I mean, we know that it's there, but you forget because that's what you're consuming yourself with.

And so to that, I would also say, you know, turn it off, shut it down. If it's messing with your confidence in any way. Turn it off. If you've got that, five-year-old, who's telling you you're beautiful. Isn't that enough? Put your phone down, shut your laptop and live off of that. Yes. So good. That's literally, as you were saying, and I was literally like, yeah, you've already got the people who affirm your beauty right there in your corner.

And if those people who are in your corner are not affirming your beauty, beauty, being a thousand things, right. Everything about you is beautiful, but it's the knowing that you need to find that iron sharpening iron experiencing to find a community like Amy has developed and you need to get in that place and be with those people so they can speak life to you.

Because the enemy is trying to do the opposite and he comes to kill steal and destroy. And that is not what God came from. That's not how he created you to be. He wants you to live within his love and within the knowing that you are beautiful. So Amy, how can people get in touch with you? How can they get in your community?

Tell us all the things, obviously emboldened book, you guys got the bias. All the links are already here. It's so pretty. It's so red eight, 11 goals. Everybody asks if that's my daughter's side is not, we are granted that after the fact, but yeah, that would have been rad, but that would have been, yeah. So you can get in touch with me very easily.

Everything. Every handle is at Amy Debrick. I know it's a long daunting, last name. Don't let it trip you out. Um, you can also even, um, my website the same and you can get emboldened where all books are sold online. Um, you can also search life on her. Um, the podcast will come up and I think even a link you can connect to my website there as well.

If that's easier, um, you can also look up You can Google that and I'll come up as well. But, um, yeah, I mean, I would love to connect with anyone. If you have a story. Um, anything, you know, I think that you're doing amazing, amazing work Tamra and just getting people's stories out there and sharing and, and letting them know that they're not alone.

And, and just the beauty that there is, and having that personal relationship. Thank you so much, Amy, for being here today. I'm so glad we connected again. Uh, I hope that we get to do so again, maybe you'll come to my conference. That would be fun and October. Um, but yeah, this, this is such a gift to me and I know a gift obviously to our live listeners.

And again, as people listen to this later, so, um, God is good and intentional and you guys, these conversations are literally unscripted. We do not plan. What's gonna be said, we haven't talked to each other. Literally, all I had was the bio that is current. And other than that, God shows up. And so I know this message was perfect for somebody.

Um, and I can say perfect in his perfection, not in ours. So we love you. We thank you for being here and Amy, I will be chatting with you soon. Okay. Sounds good. Bye.

Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you send, send ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declare your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.

You tuned into share your spark moment and tag me at bitten underscore podcast, or me personally at Tamra. Yes on instant. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and beta podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?

I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I'd love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out. You know, I'm a writer. So I love words. And I can't wait to read what you have to say.

I'm ready to fuel the plane with you together. And until next time, blessings over your joy, how well and wholeness tune in next time.

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