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  • Tamra Andress

Let Go of Who You Think You Should Be with Sandra Coates



I am with a diamond today, and it's not just about the person who I get to interview. It's also you - I see that shine. I see what it is that God has done on the inside of you. It's time for you to come out and illuminate for other people.

My guest today, Sandra Coates, is a diamond. Not only from stage, not only as a model, not only as an author to an incredible book called None Like Her, and not only to a movement called United and Tru. She is truly a light in the industry who is empowering others to let go of who they think they should be and activate in their identity.

I know that you are going to leave more confident after you listen to this episode more in the understanding of how you've been shaped and formed in your uniqueness. Enjoy!

My coaching programs and 1:1 coaching has just a few open spots left! Book a call now to see if it is the right place for you! https://calendly.com/fitinfaithmedia/activation-intro-call

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📕📗📘📙My book is NOW AVAILABLE! Buy Always Becoming: Sex, Shame, and Love https://amzn.to/2ZvA2xn


About Sandra:

Sandra is a compelling speaker, commercial model, author and coach committed to reaching women of all ages,sizes and cultures to walk confidently in their God-given beauty, identity and unique purpose. Her passion is to use her transformation story to empower others to let go of who they think they should be and activate the identity already within them. Her book is called “None Like Her”-awakening the beauty within you. She is a mom of 3 boys, a pastor's wife, and loves beach life.


Where to Find Sandra:

Her book: None Like Her - https://amzn.to/3LhHGOe

https://www.sandracoates.com

https://www.unitedandtru.org

YouTube- UNITED + TRU


Show Notes - Let Go of Who You Think You Should Be

Shine bright like a diamond. Ah, that's in my head right now, which is silly. I'm sorry if I ruined the tune to that, but I am with a diamond today. I am with a diamond and it's not just the person who I get to interview. It's also you, I see that shine. I see what it is that God has done on the inside of you.


And it's time for you to come out and aluminate for other people. And Sandra. Not only from stage, not only as a model, not only as an author to an incredible book called none, unlike her, not only to a movement called United and true which she goes into, but she really is a fellow coach in the industry who is empowering others to let go of who they think they should be and activate in their identity.


That's already before. That's the diamond that I'm speaking to. And I know that you are going to leave more confident after you listened to this episode and more in the understanding of how you've been shaped and formed in your uniqueness. And so let's celebrate that. Let's actually go on an adventure together, and that's what this show is about.


The fit and faith podcasts for founders, innovators, and trailblazers, and that's you. And so in addition to that, you're going to leave United in true today. So talk about all the awesome acronyms because true T R U minus the E is also an acronym tune in to find out what it is. And Sandra, thanks so much for being who you are and shining brightly.


I love you. And I am so grateful for this show and being able to bring people I love on here like this. And so you guys tune in and tag us. Thanks.


Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit as space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leader. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.


And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.


And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.


Yeah, I don't start the podcast with a yoga very often, but for some reason, I was like diving in the bathroom, the green room today. And I am so excited to just introduce you guys to a dear friend and incredible woman of God who is a fierce speaker. She's a commercial model. So she's asking. on every level.


Uh, she is an author of a book called none like her. We'll talk about that too. And she's a coach committed to reaching women of all ages, sizes, cultures to walk confidently in the God-given beauty, their identity and their unique purpose. Sandra, I am so excited to have you on the show. Five. Yay. Thank you so much, Tamra.


I'm so excited too. It's going to be awesome to just get into the heartbeat of who you are and it's cool. We got connected through just local, you know, interaction, social media. And I remember when she first came and sat next to me at, uh, And gather, and I was just listening to her heart and it's it. Her vision is as clear today as it was then.


And it's incredible to watch you just continue to say yes to how God is going to make it happen, versus how you could easily orchestrate to make it happen. I'd love for you to just talk about the evolution of this vision, what exactly it is and how we can partner with you in that experience. Gosh. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me.


It is such a privilege. You have such so many amazing guests here on this show and I'm like, oh, okay, cool. But this vision really started when God decided to tell me back who I have always been. And it really came with the question when I was struggling and still struggling. After so many milestones in my life.


So I thought, okay, after I finished and get my degree or after I get married or after I have kids, or, you know what I'm saying, all hitting these marks. And it was like, man, I still struggled. And for me it was an addiction with food and it, and it really. The enemy used food in my life to basically shield my vision, to see who I really was because I was longing to be beautiful.


I was longing to be confident. I was longing to not have fears of rejection and to feel loneliness and shame and all the insecurities and the. And God, it was like this question that I asked myself that I knew was God's grace all over me. And he's, I said, am I always going to be this way? Like, am I always going to struggle?


And I was literally in my kitchen, we lived in a townhouse. I was in my kitchen. And what happened was I was like, I'm not even hungry. Why am I obsessing about food and this whole cycle of it? And he's, uh, he said, basically the holy spirit said, do you want to get. And I was like, I just, I didn't even know that was possible.


And so one step at a time what happened was transformational. I began to see food just to begin to see it for what it was and that it didn't hold any power unless I gave it power. And the enemy wanted me to think, oh no, you don't have control. You can't do this on your own. You will always be like this.


And then the cycle would start over and over again. And it was like trying to get up, you know, and something keeps knocking you back down. And what happened was God choked me from wanting begging to be someone else my whole life, because I was always never the script I was too. Always I was too big. I was very overweight as a child because food was my go-to and anytime I felt hurt or shame or other things, um, it just crept in and I would binge eat and hide and it was awful.


It was awful. But I knew I was not alone in that when I started to tell my story through the book. And so my beauty journey really became. My story. And also my message, that guy was like, this isn't just for you, I'm transforming you. And I'm telling you back what you've always said. You've wanted to be and more, and I'm going to use that every single compliment I've ever gotten every single time people say, you're so confident or you're beautiful, or you're this, or you're that.


And I'm like, God really. Really because it's not me truly. I mean, yes, it's me in the flesh, but oh my gosh. Like I see women and girls and I'm like, God's given me an ability to just see through them. And it's only because I've lived it and I've been there to be able to tell it. And so he used things that I loved, like fashion.


Um, fashion was something that I could hide by. Used to be. And now it's something that I get to celebrate with others, that to really look and feel your best. Um, but also not do it where you're worshiping fashion or you're worshiping something that's never going to satisfy you. And so we've done these fun shows.


We started United and true. Um, I'll tell you more about that, of course, but, but that is really what happened was God had to rewrite myself. I think it's so incredible how it's been so intertwined in everything that you've done, even in the affirmations that people are giving you. Right. It's so interesting that the space that we reject ourselves in is the space that people invite us into.


And it's really interesting how God. Intentionally, obviously he's positioning people with that intent to say everything you're saying to yourself is a lie. Let me position people in to tell you something truthful, something honest, something real. And it's okay. If it's one person you're like, ah, you can brush it off to people.


You can brush it off. But like when everyone is telling you the same thing about yourself, there's almost like this. I need to do something with this and, and recognizing, and I love that you recognize this. It's like, it's not even you. And it's almost like an out of body experience you're to you're in your body.


You're like, this is so weird. This is not, but I love that there's been this transmitter. Totally the butterfly effect of metamorphosis in your life. And to now release other women into that freedom is truly what you're doing. And you used at your United intro experience. This last. You guys, she does this really cool thing where she has role models who are like community advocates in different realms, different reasons.


There's no, there's no true agenda to it. Other than that, there's an element of who you are that God has shaped you to be, that you are rising to the occasion for other women to look to. And you talked about the, um, the pressure of the diet. And I love that analogy. I'd love for you to just share like why that was even pressed into your own spirit and how United in true has really morphed into what it is today through fashion, through fun, but through these, this role model experience.


Yes. So United and true stands for really what every woman and girl is invited to be. And that is. United not one of us is better. Not one of us is prettier that one of us has a better life story than another. And not one of us is disqualified, so clear, so true. It's, it's how God designed it and that full access to him and his beauty comes when you live true.


True stands for transformed stands for redeemed, and it stands for unique. And so the idea of the diamond really comes from. God showing himself. And it came to me through a vision. I don't get visions very often, but I had a vision and I woke up. In all. And the vision was me standing on a stage with this box and out of the box was this illuminated, gorgeous stone, like diamond, like stone.


And I was sharing it with the audience and I was like, I don't even know what this means. And that was a couple of years ago. And what God showed me was I am that stone. I am that diamond. So that chiseled beautiful, expensive capture of love. Every woman wants, you know, I am that, but the world would tell you, no, you need to be that you need to be chiseled.


You need to be perfect. You need to keep working on your beauty, working on your value, working on who you are to get better and better. And to keep that up where God says, oh no, I flipped that script. No, no, no, no, no. I am beautiful. There's nothing more beautiful than me. I am that diamond and I've been deposited in you.


And so therefore your beauty comes as that diamond gets to reflect out to the world. What my beauty looks like, and that's for daughters of the king. I don't care if you're 11 or if you're 80, you hold beauty that no other woman has. And the world is trying to chase after this beauty. They're trying to tell you whether it's a diamond, whether it's a platform on social media, whether it's an image of a person real or fake, it doesn't matter.


Why, because they are so hungry and so thirsty for the beauty that God already has claimed. And they're not willing to say, oh no, he has. He is the one there's no one else like him. And so this, this idea of the diamond. Oh my gosh. You could go on and on about how the diamond comes, comes to life, right? The pressures and all of the things.


I mean, my goodness. So that that's part of why it's on the cover of my book is a diamond. And it's really so that women can go, oh, okay. Like I already have that in me. Like I'm hardwired to reflect that beautiful stone, you know, so good. And you know, they talk there's like so much, like diamond is a girl's best friend.


All of these catchphrases, but what if we applied that truth associated to what you're saying? The truth of who we are because of him who is inside of us? I mean, how much more glorious would we live when in would we even speak to ourselves when we're looking in the mirror? It's like, this is a reflection of God himself.


And so it just gives people freedom that what they might see in this season of life or what others. I see, or not necessarily even see, but it's that emotional component. It really washes away to like his steadfast. About who we are and our identity, no matter age, no matter our culture, no matter our background, no matter our testimony.


Right. And so I love that your mission is for all girls, for all women, that there has not been an age deposit into that. Um, because I think a lot of times when women go into mission driven experiences, they're thinking about the, the person that they were. Right. And oftentimes we. That child like inside of us.


Right. And we forget that little one who we need to be implanting and instilling this truth and their knowledge of this truth. Now I have a seven year old daughter, so I'm immediately thinking of her and. What is she never has to walk through the experience that we did when it came to sexualization of beauty or, um, thinner is better that's skinny culture, or, um, they call it it's in my book called the Virginia.


I see, like, what if that was not something that they ever had to even think through because this truth was inside of them. And so it's, it's such a beautiful ministry that you have. And I know that it's something that you're passionate about bringing to the world, because it's not even just for America, like this is across cultures.


Talk to us about that, like expansion model. Like what do you, what do you see? Like, has God given you any visions towards how you want to expand? You know, he really has Tamra. It's become this, um, this wait and just see, just wait and listen for the visions and, and see the images. So just like when, if anyone's ever been a part of the, um, the Christmas boxes, you know, the summer Samaritan's purse near to his house.


It's like, I can see these girls and these, these women's faces like light up as they open this like beauty box from United and true. And it baby ha like I don't even know yet. That was just been the latest thing that I'm like, oh my gosh. And then I talked to my team member, Carrie, and she's, she's telling me about this missing trip that one of our main sponsors.


They go to this orphanage every year in Africa. And she's like, well, there's 22 of them live in this orphanage and I'm like, we are doing it. We are doing it. We're starting it. So yeah, we don't have it all, but I'm like, what if they opened? What if there was a diamond in there? You know, like what if there was other little things to just show them and literature, you know, I hope to put a little portion of my book in there because the whole goal of it is for them to know that they're really, the war has been won.


You know that, that they don't have to prove their beauty. They already have it within them. They just need God to say, show me again today. Show me what it is that, that you Marvel at, that you look at me and go, I made her and I didn't make anyone else like her. And I have such a specific plan, but first I want her to know just how beautiful and, and, and how much.


She was thought of and crafted in the way that she is. And we look at the scars, the battle wounds, you know, we look at them so differently. And I talk about that in the book as well, that if we could, if we could see that the, the ways that God uses, even the worst things that we've been through. And the scars, you know, I have, for me, it was stretchmarks, um, that I was so embarrassed about and I was a swimmer, uh, you know, that was my main sport that I played.


And so the reminder of just being an athlete, but also feeling like, oh, I have all these scars, these blemishes, you know, and they could be something physical, but they also could be something through our life story that we've battled, like from your book, you know? And, and yet God is saying. Do you understand?


I see those things so differently that that really, when I was able to look at all the stretch marks that I had on my body from my childhood and that reminder, you know, of having this battle with food, that, that I was certainly not winning on my own. Right. He's like, he's like, those are evidences that I've used.


You, you have been in a battle. And I call you victorious. I call you redeemed. I call you enough. You are mine. And I am using you to do unstoppable things, but no longer do those things label you or have a hold over you no longer I've declared it. Now I need you to walk in it. And a lot of times, you know, don't you, don't you notice we hold on.


So tightly to. We have to be the ones to take away that label. Or we have to be the ones to fix our situation where God's like, I want you to come totally to me and know that I want to fix this. I want to transform you. And you bring your scars, you bring your battle wounds, you bring your insecurities and all the things you bring that with you.


Um, as far as going global, I just can't even imagine. What women and girls face in other countries where they don't have the same kind of equality as men, or they don't have the voices, you know, the voice that we have or the platforms. And I want them to know the same thing with human trafficking and those victims.


That's part of why we are so committed to sharing. Um, and giving financially giving to those spaces is because we want women to know, we see them, we hear them. Um, and we want to claim that freedom for them, but we also want to go be in those places to tell them the message ourselves. Um, it was interesting as you're sharing, I was thinking through.


The coping mechanisms that we, you know, we were physically, emotionally, um, and, and mentally towards trying to stand in that identity and just like scratching and clawing for what that could become. And the diamond, like that little diamond that's in the rough. Right. And it's, it's hidden from us because that everything in front of us is not that.


And thinking specifically, The food. And because that was something that you dealt with and I still, even to this day, you hear people talking about like comfort food, right. And they're like, go to the thing. The most unhealthy thing is considered comfort food, because why like, what it, what is it doing it's causing so much satiation that it's actually causing depression because your body is having a hard time digesting.


That's why it's comforting. That's why the tryptophan from the Turkey is like, it's a downward spiral, right? Not lifting. Like I just had an apple, I feel light and full at the same time. And so thinking through the juxtaposition of like literally what society has done over and over again and is feeding us literally.


And yet all we need to do is like remove. And understand that it's not by our works, that that removal process happens that God literally net doesn't see that space. That's where the scars come into place, that he would like literally excavate everything in that space. Use it for good. And then bring that light to you and that ability to come back into.


Humanity, like what humanity actually was. And so it's just, that was the vision as you were sharing. I was just like, holy cow, like so much of us are weighted down literally by the pressures of the world. And meanwhile, with those pressures, God's like, don't worry, beauty. Like I thought, like I'm still with you.


And that pressure is, is being shapened. But I don't believe that everyone has to go through that pressure to be a shining diamond. Yes. Amen. Amen. No, we, we want to catch them before, like you said, when you talked about your daughter, um, we want to catch women and girls, and we want that to spread, you know, our tagline for United and true is until she knows there's no one like her until it's so good that we won't stop because we want her to know why.


'cause she's dangerously good, because then she's going to share it with someone else because it's out of the overflow, as the word says, out of the overflow of your heart, the mouth speaks out of the overflow of what she feels. You know, the it's just the opposite of the world. Again, the world would say, hold on to every beauty piece that you have hold onto your best things.


You know, I've been to plenty of runway shows are done modeling things and there's wonderful people don't get me wrong. But, but truly you want to have the best. You want to look the best. You want your outfit. You want your pose, you want your space, your cheekbones, your whatever, your, you want it to stand out among any other girl, isn't that the competition that we deal with and it's like, may the best girl win?


Well, when you look at beauty, What is beauty? Who's saying what beauty is. I mean, right now, I mean, I love God bless him, but I'm like, it's mom jeans and Fanny pack. Totally pull it off. But I'm like, wait, that wasn't beauty a little while ago. And then I just did some research on beauty and what was esteem?


What was beautiful? Like back into the 18th in my book. And I talk about that. Okay. You know, when, when we look back even a hundred to 150 years ago, the women who are getting their portraits taken were the ones who were considered obese today. They were full-figured. Um, but they, the ones that were thin that we would see maybe on a runway, or we would see maybe, um, on a platform.


Th they, they would not be in that space because they would be considered malnourished. Now we all have different frames, so nothing against thin framed women. But, but if we look at beauty, beauty is ever-changing in the world where God says, no, I am beauty. I invented beauty. So if you want to know perfect beauty, if you want to know powerful beauty, if you want to know lasting.


You asked me not me. And you got to get answer. You got to get answer. Yeah. Yeah. That's and, and what if we could tell our girls that what if we could tell them and they could share it with other girls and start to live that out in their communities, in their friendships? Oh my gosh. Quick commercial break.


I know I hate these things too, but it's so critical that you grow your business for God's sake. And I mean, that pun intended with all the love in my heart to get you from a place of ideation to activation, stop dreaming, start doing stand ups, start saying yes to the call that God has on your life. We are going to be joining in Lexington, Kentucky with none other than the beautiful rise and grind community with Glen Lundy, who will be co-hosting.


Rideable conference. This is the second annual and he has taken me under his wing to be able to share the stage to motivate and inspire. And I cannot wait to see you there November 5th through the seventh. If you want to come in for the VIP experience with who doesn't want to come along for VIP, that's all access passes to the speakers and the artists, and you'll be able to dine with us in the private rooms with your own special bathrooms.


So of course, come one day, two day, three day passes available as well. Can not wait as good. And I say to hug your neck, see you there. Well, one thing I think is really powerful is like an activation item of like, somebody's listening to this and they're like, how do I do this for myself? Uh, it, and it's kind of similar to what people will say about like their morning routine as far as like affirmations or declarations go.


It's like, why don't we in gratitude? Well, why don't we actually share that beauty for other people, not in order to equip ourselves of recognizing the beauty that we have and not to receive anything back. But one thing that we do with our, our kiddos is like, tell me something beautiful about them. So even if like they come in and they're talking about a bully, or they're talking about somebody.


Feelings or any of this? We, we flip the script on, on what exactly the outcome of this conversation is going to be, because we can't change what just happened or we can't change a predicament in which somebody is existing, for instance, a handicap child. Right. And of course, kids are naturally like, what happened to them?


Why are they doing this? Well, what about this? Right. And I'm like, tell me something beautiful that you see. Right. And so immediately, like giving them, including ourselves, this ability to look. See something beautiful and that beauty transcends everything. And I honestly think what you've created through the fashion show experience at United and true that you do these in these annual fashion shows that I mentioned earlier.


When we're in the back, like getting dressed as the role model, right? Like every shape figure, fashion sense. And while a specific fashionista or designer might be clothing us, they're not looking at us being like, oh, you don't fit that. Like that doesn't fit you. You can't go in here. They're like, Ooh, this is what's beautiful about you.


Try this. This is, what's beautiful about you try this feasts. And so there's so much for us to explore in the realm of beauty that society has boxed into specific figurines. And I feel like if we, as women who are empowered in this space can break that, that mold down we can represent. Look, what else is beautiful about me?


Right. And not be our flesh, but it be something else. Hmm, speaking girl, that is where I am so picky. Um, now they've taken me out for this next show. I won't be, have such a big role, but I am so picky. I, I don't mean picky. Uh, what's another word I am so deliberate about who I put on that stage. Because I want every single person there, their life story, the way they do look outward, um, the way they, they express themselves, um, the light that comes from their eyes and their smile and their engagement.


They have a job to do. It's a big job as a role model. One, they're not perfect, but they're ones who believe that God's beauty, they fit. They've taken that on and said, I am living. I'm living transformed, I'm living redeemed and I am living unique. This is me. This is me. And this is who God has made me. And so, like you said, the outfits that they wear are really just an expression of that, but I'm very picky.


I want all different shapes, all different colors, all different backgrounds, all different sizes. And, um, I think that really embodies it swells God's heart because that is the way he designed it. There's such unique, vibrant expression. Of him. And he gave females a piece of his beauty to bear. He didn't give that to males.


He gave that specifically to females. And so every female somewhere in there, whether she feels girly or not, you know, that's okay. But he gave her, uh, this understanding of something. I want to feel that I want to feel like I fit in. I want to feel like people see me for who I am, and they may not use the word beauty, but, but that's something that is sacred to us.


As females, males were given. Such amazing strength of bravery, of strength, um, of, uh, other things that, that you would call them maybe more fearless, um, in what they do, not that women can and all that, but there's just different areas that, that were given. Um, so the, the fashion show experience is really meant to bring all of that together, but I am so.


So specific on, I want every person who comes to that, to that event, male or female, to know about the beauty that's within them. And it's specifically about women knowing that and really walking through. Um, as they, as they go out of their like celebration component too. And that's the sisterhood piece that is so important because when we discover that identity it's about now passing it and celebrating it with other people and helping them get to that celebration zone.


Because I know that in the process of, you know, whether it was the, the losing of the addiction to food, whether it was the losing of addiction to. Sex or losing of the addiction of recognition from the opposite sex or whatever it is that you had to let go of to recognize that. Without anything of the flesh, you are beautiful and that God is the one who calls you beautiful and makes you beautiful is there's this celebration realm where we get to see other people stand in that victory in that true identity.


And one of the things that was really fun, that I'll never forget about that experience. And I hope to do it again. And it actually led me to experience it at my conference. A couple of months later was, um, there was a, an African. Uh, designer that you had Malawi had wraps is the name of the organization.


Uh, and she was fierce. Her fabric was amazing and I wanted to wear what she was offering. And, uh, I think all of the specific pieces were taken and she was like, I could do like a really fun head wrap on you. Meanwhile, I've got white girl hair and I don't have what I would imagine this head wrap looking good with.


And one of the gals gave me her blond. And she said, when she was at home the night before, she was just like, I saw this blonde weave and I thought Tamra needs this. And I was like, yeah, let's talk about the contradictory emotion that was taking place inside of my spirit at that time. I believe that I stand true.


And I also believe that there is this, it. Controversial, uh, experience of ethnicity always happening. And I was thinking, am I going to offend someone by wearing this weave? Or am I going to look ridiculous because I'm wearing this hair. That's not mine. And not wanting to offend. And then also not knowing if like I look ridiculous because it's not in my comfort zone to do that.


So I'm thinking about what are they going to think and how do I actually feel, do I feel unpretty because I'm doing something that my, my loose curls aren't done. And like, what I'm used to saying is beautiful is not how I'm existing. I'll tell you this story with intention. We have to fight what people tell us is beautiful in order to show up in our, our fierce beauty that comes from within.


And I remember being completely, um, taken in by my black sisters and them thinking. It was incredible that I was doing something that they'd never seen. Other white girls embrace, and they were celebrating that I was doing something that they think is beautiful. Even though it's not what my culture says is beautiful.


I just remember being like, this is incredible and, and people were laughing and like, there was lots of emotional chord it, but I since have had that weave and have worn that weave and people are like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I think it's beautiful and I'm going to own it. And so I just think that there's a whole element.


Celebrating the beauty within people. Um, and that was a really solid example that I have taken since with me as a special treasure from that experience. And since we're that same designer on stage at a conference, and we now have black sisters that came to me in that. Thank you for representing us on stage.


And I was just like, oh my, I can't even, I just love it. It expresses culture. And so when you talk about expanding the borders and going worldwide, I know that your heart beyond just the fashion sense is for like the celebration of beauty in all of its different. Yes, no. I mean, this is, this is something that God's kingdom, his, his body of women, his body of people.


Um, it's been divided. There's been so much that has tried to tear us apart. Um, there's been so much injustice that we know there's been so much and, and I am so honored that I have so many, um, black and brown. Sisters and brothers, um, who, who I would do anything for them. And, and they would do anything for me, but God has given me those.


And I know he hasn't done that by accident and it's because I want to esteem them. I had someone tell me one of my board members who is African-American tell me if there's an opportunity to hire an African-American. Uh, photographer or for, you know, um, an event coordinator for any of the things that you need, do it, do it, um, give them those opportunities.


And I said, absolutely, I wouldn't, but I'm so glad she felt the freedom to see it because she knows that I want to know those things. Um, but I don't, I, I am Caucasian. And so I, I had to learn that I need to see her. And I thought the whole time, I thought, well, it's so beautiful because I don't see your color because it doesn't divide us.


Meanwhile, it was this, this, this thing that had been wired in me to think that I was actually a steaming her when meanwhile, I was, it was offensive that I, like you said that I didn't see her culture, that I didn't celebrate her black and brown illness. And. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Thank you, Lord that I get to do this and I get to make it right, because we all have to know that God wants to share so much more of himself with us.


And we, we know that, you know, that song, that Mandisa put out, gosh, it's been a couple of years, but where she said we all bleed the same. You know, we all bleed the same. Why are we so divided? And I heard that song and it just, something changed in me. I was like, how can we express that differently? How can we do that?


Well, how can we begin in our spaces to do that? And so I'm very intentional about that. Um, I want every color, every race, and I love that. Then you took that and you had an opportunity to then pass that you had an opportunity. To then spur them the movement of United and true. And your spaces. So, yeah, so did, and it was, so it was in the, you know, DNA of that experience.


And so I'm grateful to the movement that. You're starting here in our community, but I know it's already touching so many more. Um, just from that one example that I had to experience. And so I'm excited to see where it goes next. Now I want to talk about, well, one more element of something that you've stepped into, uh, which is this coaching sector and in share, how can people come into community with you in that regard and what is a, a program or what does that time investment look like with.


Yes, absolutely. So I was, um, life coaching was not something that was in my wheelhouse, but what happened was I had a few people, you know, and things happen. And in, in threes, especially, and someone tells you, you need to start coaching. And you need to start doing more of this, these intensives with people, you need to start taking them from where they are to where you, you have been.


And, and so I began to think about. What, what is it that I'm offering them? What is it that I specifically am doing? Why would they meet with me? And, and really it came down to this and, and God told me that he said you help them through their identity. You work. I've curated this program where I work on.


Okay. Who is this? There's no one like her. And so I pull out elements of my book, um, which is an incredible resource because of the message, because it says about me, but then it offers an invite to you to see what is the beauty that's within you. And first you need to look back and see what has tried to strip you.


What does tried to, to deplete you of the very things that God wants to do in you and he's already done. So we look at strengths, we look at abilities, we look at passions, we look at the influences and roles that they've played, that a client's played. Um, and then the second piece of it is purpose. Really seeing what is your purpose?


What do you want your purpose to be? Let's dream about that? Let's think about that. Let's let, let's figure out what that is, but let's also look at that of what have we pulled together. And so we're constantly pulling things out of what, um, what we're learning and then at the end, putting together a vision board.


And then, um, I have this really fun gift that I give them. And it's, it's a curated diamond of, of all that we've been through all that we've done. Um, Like newsflash, it's not a real diamond. Come on, Sandra. Get with the program. If somebody wants to sponsor me for some diamonds, I would love, I would give them away.


Who's our jewelry owner, but it's really the experience of that. They will then launch and take that. And so the tagline is identity, purpose, and transformation. And so really maximizing your. Minimizing your weaknesses and figuring out what are the healthy boundaries. So the clients I've worked with so far, so many of them are dealing with not just anxiety or depression, not just obstacles, um, new ways of thinking, but it's really about how do I manage, how do I not give all of the awesomeness away of me once you learn that?


And it takes a little while for them because no one, they haven't sat around and studied all of the grades. Super powers that they have all of the things that make their life so unique and so transformational to others, they don't th we don't do that on our own. And so it's really walking that space. I want to be the highlight of your week.


We do intensive we to weekly, and then I'm texting you. And my goal might, one of my, one of my spiritual gifts is his encouragement, and I want to pack. With encouragement that that we've learned together. But also that God has shared with me and we do the daily affirmations. Um, I have them check in how are your boundaries?


Okay. If you're having panic attacks, how much of you are you giving away to everyone else? It's such good. So let's work on that. Yes. And then let's figure out your purpose. Let's figure out what it is. That you desire to do. And, and usually we're not, we're not there yet. We might be doing some of that. Um, but I know for me, I'm still going, I've been a nurse most of my life.


I love being a nurse in some regards, in other regards it's straining. Um, it's hard. It's not my giftings. And so I've been able to work at a crisis pregnancy center with teens and young moms. We're in really difficult situations and I've learned from them and I've learned a lot about myself as well. And so walking into these spaces, you know, you, I always say I'm not a counselor.


I want to make progress. I want to see what you desire at the end of this. And then we're going to do more than. We're going to do even more. Um, but it's really transformational because God meets us there. And so I'm committed to praying for those clients. Um, I, I want to keep in touch with them, but really I want to be there in that time, as they're discovering the specialists about them, they're discovering, um, the things that they had no idea that they're putting together.


And then I am then launching them and really challenging them to move forward in those spaces. Um, and it's so fun and I'm just looking forward to what else I get to do with it. And I also do group. Um, and I also do group speaking where it's interactive and, um, my book is designed it's four parts, but then, um, there's the, uh, question and discussion reflection sections after each one.


So it's designed then for an individual or a small group to go through that as well. And, and that part is powerful because if, if a woman or a girl can have ownership of that to really understand, it's not just having a coach, it's really going to. What am I missing that? I think it's another season of life that I have to be in this.


You know, I won't be able to do this yet. I, I'm not able to, um, to activate these things about myself and the answer is you absolutely are. You absolutely are. And let's figure out where that, um, uh, that breakdown is and where those obstacles are. And, um, and really go from. So good. I think that the boundary piece is so critical and because we, as a society are so, um, Fractured and expected of other people towards their time and their energy that they don't ever take that moment or that breather for themselves.


And it's not about self care, right? Like, cause I think that that can be glorified as the way to fix these things. Create boundaries. Have self care and it's not, it really is about understanding your identity in him. And in order to understand your identity with him, you have to spend time with him because in order to know thyself, you have to know thy creator.


And so it's really being with the creator so that you can love yourself so that you can then foreign to other people and love them well, too. And so it is such a beautiful model, but boundaries are. The working backwards, because it's hard to just jump into the next realm. It's like, okay, if I have this put in place, then I create space that then I can insert and experience.


In the midst of it. Um, so I love that and I know that you're so gifted in that realm. And again, like so many different age brackets and I love at the end, how you said I can't wait to see what else I guess to do with people, because coaching is that like every client is different. Every coaching experience is different, even though we create these frameworks and these like transformation opportunities for people, I've seen it time and time again, where I'm like, whoa, God, I wasn't expecting that.


Now I do. I do. Right. And so, yeah. Constantly evolving with him and surrendering to him in that process. And so utilizing the holy spirit, I know is something that you're putting at the forefront of how you activate, operate with them. It's really cool Ferris. So. Oh, it is it's so as, and I've, I've seen more, I have more middle school clients actually, um, that I was not honestly expecting that that was going to be, um, my main clientele.


I have moms, moms who are reaching out and saying, um, would you coach my daughter? And you know, that is, I mean, what a gift, what a privilege. And so I always want to meet with mom and her daughter. Um, and really, but I've learned, I'm learning all the time. About their language, how they speak and, and so you should see the texts that I send them.


It's so fun, but it's, it's, you know, it's middle school. Um, I have a middle schooler myself. My dad held house. But yeah, it is. Um, it's been really, really neat. And just to, to be able to tell them back who God says about them, as we're working through all of these different things, it's just such a privilege.


And so I look forward to it. Um, and I just love when I get. Back then when they say, thank you so much, or I love this, or I don't even know, or I, I got a better night's sleep last night, you know, I'm less anxious. I mean, anything I'm like what a gift and, and just to be able to pray for them in those every day situations.


Mm. I mean, they're going through such a rough time, such a rough time. We've all been in middle school and even high school, you know? Um, and just, uh, every season of life has its challenges, but they specifically, um, really have challenges. So I do zoom and I also do in person, of course I love in-person, but I can do zoom.


And so you don't have to be local to be able to engage, uh, with that, but by. It really is. And it's cool. Like I said, from like that first conversation and still seeing how steadfast you are, and this is like a true sign of like being able to trust. Someone's like connection to the holy spirit and their purpose, right?


It's like, yes, things might change. Details might evolve, but like the heartbeat of who you are and the heartbeat of what God has deposited inside of you is, is the same, you know? And it. It's so refreshing because I feel like a lot of times when people are. With a good idea. It ebbs and flows and they lose momentum and they stop and they get, you know, roadblocks, right?


I mean, we're all going to have roadblocks. We're all gonna have detours, but even with roadblocks and detours, you're just like plowing through. And so I am cheering you on. I, I'm just, it's amazing to see and praying over you in the ministry. I too believe that it's not just a message for here or even right now.


It's an eternal message, you know? So I love. Oh right back at you sister, you spur me on. I have wanted to quit so many times don't you better call me. I'll coach you at that moment. Don't you dare don't. You dare. I'll text you all the silly things to make you keep going. Cause it, well, you guys, please get in touch with Sandra.


You guys are going to be she's active on all different social media. Sandra coats.com. She also has the United and true. Remember there was no E T R u.org, and she's also on YouTube, under United in true. So and so get invested. And, and what that looks like to you might be different. Is it a monetary expansion?


Do you have diamonds in your pocket that you can let her borrow whatever it be? She is here and she's going to start it. Well, I am starts in the love friends.


Hey, y'all it's me again. Before you go, let's solidify the flame that was ignited within you today by sharing the spark with your own community, whether it's mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, I would love for you to take the step right now by declaring your takeaway, snap, a pic of the episode and share it on your stories.


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And I can't wait to read what you have to say. Thanks again for being a loyal listener. And I hope to meet you in person soon at one of the events that we are speaking at or hosting. And I say. The fit and bake team could not do this without you until next time, blessings over your joy, how well and wholeness, this is a fit faith way. .

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