Innovate Your Life with Shawna Lum
Today I am talking With Shawna Lum about how to innovate your life.
I so love unpacking the adventure of other people. Mainly because I feel like I’m living vicariously through them, but also because it ignites me to GO! Literally and figuratively!
And today’s guest, Shawna Lum, is such a GO getter, that she even moved across the world, multiple times in fact, in order to pursue what God has ahead of her.
You all know the people on social media that appear to be living their best life in another country, traveling, experiencing, and snapping amazing photos along the way…though of course, not in intent cause FOMO or comparison, but instead with intent to help you innovate your own life to be the best version of what is promised…?
Well, that’s our girl today. She’s a beautiful blend of reflective and energetic.
Running from perfectionism. Chasing joy! But also living the entrepreneurial dream outside of the umbrella of the American Dream.
You all are going to be blessed by today’s beautiful worldly conversation.
Tune in and LET’s get innovating our lives today.
Hey I am Shawna! After a crazy neck injury a year and a half ago I had to stop the office job and really focus on healing! Since then I have had the blessing to create an agency specializing in web design and getting your messaging right! I also am a social media manager! I help business owners and entrepreneurs who don’t have time to:
💻 Build a professional, modern and responsive website or
💻Redesign their site
📱Manage Social platforms – IG, FB or Linkedin curated posts,
📱get their messaging and captions right on Social Media.. aside from work I love snowboarding, swimming, dancing and giving a helping hand. Excited to be a part of the show!
Connect with Shawna!
Show Notes: Innovate Your Life
I so love packing the adventure of other people, mainly because I feel like I’m living vicariously through them, but also because it ignites me to go literally and figuratively, I get out of Dutch and today’s guest, Sean Alam is such a go-getter that she even moved across the world multiple times to multiple countries, sometimes not even telling people that she was gonna be doing so, and she’s doing it just simply to get in front of what God has in store for her and touch it. And you know those people that you see on social media that appear to be living their best life in another country, travelling, experiencing things that you couldn’t even imagine, and they’re staffing amazing photos along the way, you all… They don’t do that to put you into comparison mode or FOMO, but instead would be intent to help you innovate your own life and be the best version of what God has promised for you.
That is our guest today, Sean. She is a beautiful blend of reflective and energetic, she’s running from perfectionism, I understand where she’s at a check, she’s chasing joy and also just living the entrepreneurial dream, when love is that she’s doing it outside of the quote on load of Meriden. She’s doing it on her own terms, and literally submitted it back to the Lord, which is so rad, you guys are going to be blessed by today’s conversation and worldly influence and yet heart of God, it’s so neat, the culture within her that exudes through her light and I truly just hope that you start innovating today because of this conversation, so big John, for being here at Yale student and enjoy.
This is your Godwin, the moment that heaven says, for such a time as this, It’s time to own your joy, prioritize your health, discover wealth and exude your wholeness, it’s time to become truly fit. However, this isn’t a fitness podcast, though I’m a retired personal trainer and nutritionist, this is in business jargon or tips and tricks to Landing Your successful passion project. No, that’s totally why I’m a business coach. This isn’t a quick fix health detox ploy, though I’m all for therapy and I love hoods, I do have a YOLO since me too though. This isn’t confusing religious banter that I’m in, ordain ministers, still figuring out the many things and facets and faces of Jesus. It’s really none of that. So I’m wondering, if you’re wondering what is this… Well, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shakers, as we explore and share or less come back stories and discoveries with each of you fellow passionate speakers, the Fit base movement with birds for my own trial and error. Discovery of mind, body and soul. alignment, and to be totally transparent, my own entrepreneurial Brasher experiences, I’ve learned first-hand that being fit isn’t about archaic at all, it’s not about our qualifying abilities or titles, it’s not about our potential, it’s truly about our God-gifted passions. Meeting our purpose, you are one step away from achieving your idea, your dream, your calling, your purpose, whatever you wanna call it, and I wanna be there for the moment that you say yes in Freedom, clarity and confidence that you are living fully fit and do… And who you are made to be. Welcome to The bitten bad podcast with me, Tamara and dress. There is no better time than now to get it.
I love watching those… You don’t even get to see it, you have to wait till the post process to see it, and it’s so fun because that one was like… I don’t even watch it before they go live, ’cause I know my girl who does them though, she is gonna nail it every single time, so I get excited and running and no one can see that I’m getting… Except for you.
Right. And I was like, Okay, she’s bobbing her head.
There was meteor something. It was so good, and it’s so you… Because you said the word digital nomad, and you guys… That’s essentially what Shana is. You guys aren’t gonna believe what she’s done over the last four weeks, it’s such a fun adventure, and if you know anything about me, I am all for adventure, traveling, getting outside of your comfort zone, and just living life to the fullest, and I really believe that the story that you’re gonna unpack for us today is gonna give us more of an opportunity to say yes to those opportunities…
I hope so.
Yes, I’m excited to.
As my pleasure. So Shah, do we even connect… Just Instagram. What was it? You NetEase Instagram. I was just scrolling through my feed and I, you know how you do, you just kinda click through.
And then I saw Christian business coach and I was like, Wow, she looks pretty cool, and I started watching some of your posts is like an vibe and with her… Yeah, I love it, I love it. It’s so fun. And then we got in on the awesome phone call and got to know each other, and then she was like, So let’s do this, but in a couple of months, because I’ve got some big plan, so how much you unpack where you’ve been… What you’ve got going on, your life innovative, that’s all who you are, and it’s more than just your business, which is so fun.
Right, so to kinda give you a breakdown of what’s been happening in the past couple of months… Well, I’ve lived in Europe for five years, I’m from LA, from California, and I moved out here for a master’s program, and then since then, just of course, falling in love with Europe, I created my business, which is a web design business called Your Life innovated, and I primarily work with American clients, but kind of with everyone, but yeah, the couple… We did a camping trip. We… Edit was a camping trip. Move out.
And she didn’t even tell anybody about it. It was like a surprise. New.
Exactly. Gotta hit him with a surprise, you know… No, what we did was, okay. So my boyfriend had an opportunity up here in this for work, and so a digital nomad, I said… And didn’t wanna be in a big city. We in Barcelona and we were there for four years.
And we said, Okay, with the whole pandemic situation, let’s just go do it, and we’re actually in the country side now, so we did a camping trip to get here with all of our stuff, it was literally so much stress, camping, stopping in each place, trying to bring out the cooker, where the heck’s the cooker? Oh, you packed it wrong, it’s like all the way under at the bottom, it was crazy for 10 days, it was like that, and trying really hard to just keep loving each other, and this is an adventure, and I’m not gonna be really frustrated with you.
Exactly, exactly. And that’s where my meditations come in in the morning, just on just different things that I’m sure we’re gonna talk about later, but we basically had the plan of doing that camping trip and then arriving here in the countryside of France, which is honestly really beautiful. I’m sure similar to some parts of the US, rolling hills, open fields and just cute little medieval towns, that’s where we are right now, I don’t want… It feels like it’s right out of a movie. Right.
Yes, it looks like gingerbread houses in this town that I’m in, literally was really fun, and so this is just a short-term stay.
Which is so cool, she said that people are like, so is this like the final move, is this where you’re gonna stay in this home and… I love it, it’s not because I think that that’s a part of life. And I found myself actually for years, I’m like, I am born and raised in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and I am not going anywhere. When I went away for college, I came right back and I was like, This is where I’ll be till my babies grow old, and then to IRL. Right.
And it was actually through the transformational season that I hope to dive deeper into yours here in a minute, that I actually released like my stomping grounds, and I release the fact that this is a part of my denim ’cause it’s actually not at all. It’s just a part of my journey, and immediately wanted to get up and move and pack and leave, and my husband and I looked into becoming expats in Mexico for a while, still not off the table because that would be the ideal situation, and it was just… I feel like when you release that, God can do so much with it and he can honestly just can provide more abundantly, whether you stay where you’re at or not, ’cause that happened to us, we ended up staying but abundant and sued after I kind of released that. This is home. Home is so much more than a location. I totally agree because okay, when you move like that, you really have to be okay with yourself, your partner and your current situation and kind of accept change, and I actually meditate on change a lot in the morning, it’s like I visualize a river flowing and how life is like that. And the same, like you said. Just like, I don’t know, getting out of your comfort zone. I mean, that’s just what I’ve gotten comfortable with, and I think it’s true, like your physical location doesn’t define you… Like you said, I really do believe that.
I like this concept of meditating on change, I have this problem, honestly, we can unpack my issues first if you want to, to help me shot at home will anticipate and create expectations around my schedule for the day and around what the next situation or next 12 hours or really just day-to-day, it’s not really look like as a whole, because I really believe in goals changing and God surprising you and all of that, but I have this control need within the expectation of a certain window, and if it goes awry, I get such bad anxiety, and yeah, I consider myself a pretty go with the flow person, I don’t think my husband would agree though, because he’s like, Hey, you’re doing this to yourself. It’s okay, it’s no big deal. And I’m like, I know it’s not, but I think it’s just different, is what I always say, it’s just different, and he’s like, Okay, well, let’s unpack what you thought it was gonna be like, and then let’s release it because this is what it is, not what you thought exactly. I get what you’re saying. That happens to me too. I think it’s like our entrepreneur perfectionist, maybe that mentality, I have this… I was reading a book recently that I was saying that perfect perfectionism. It’s actually like a… It becomes like this crazy… Not crazy, I don’t wanna say the word crazy, but it’s almost like a state that you get into that kinda just keeps going and keeps going, and you think that it’s like a negative thing and you keep trying to achieve that one vision that you have, but if you don’t get exactly to there, you just a really upset with yourself… I get to my boyfriend as well, say, Calm down, it’s not the end of the world, but it’s a really steels like it. We’ve got people on the other line who are listening and they’re like me too, and they said, I totally have to process what I am feeling in order to move on, and I think that’s ultimately even that concept of meditation is like leaning into that emotion, and this it goes into so many realms that I’m sure we’ll continue to tap into, but somebody this week was teaching to me about a sale, about sales, and she was saying, oftentimes, when you’re coaching or when somebody is giving you their problem in your hands, that the emotions are both on the table, you’re anticipating what’s about to happen and they’re trying to serve you what it is that they need to happen, and all the emotions that they’ve bound packing to get them to this phone call or get them to this experience with you and for you, as a receiver on the listening end, and then also the speaker to lean into your emotion and instead of self-critiquing those emotions, just analyzing like… That’s interesting, instead of feeling guilty instead of having an issue of self-worth or feeling a need to change or control, just allowing it to just be what it is… Right, exactly. That’s a big thing when you said the expectations, setting that schedule and Meeting that deadline or whatever, I think it’s because we look so far into the future, especially in our culture, we in the US, because I can make these comparisons in Spain, they’re so laid back, like all my friends and relayed back, they don’t care. I’m like, You guys are like 10 minutes late to work. You just walked into the door 15 minutes late. How are you not freaking out right now. And I think it’s a cultural thing, and I don’t think that we practice it enough on our day-to-day of accepting those setbacks, like I say, we don’t meet that deadline. We’re so hard on ourselves and not saying in the present, like you said, just a bit.
I really love that.
And I think that’s one of the reasons that traveling and cultural-ism is so important to me and my family for our kid’s sake, because I know that about our culture, because of the amount of travel that my husband and I did prior to having kiddos, we were constantly away, and it’s such an amazing thing that you and your boyfriend are doing that because it just teaches you so much about each other and the relationship I think is just… They’re so much more bonding that goes on when you’re traveling with someone versus just in the regular day-to-day Monday. Right.
And so when we had kids, we knew that that wanted to be like a core value of our family, and when we take them out of their comfort zone here and into another establishment, because we’ve done it since they were so little, it feels like everywhere they go as their comfort zone, which is such a beautiful thing, but we as adults are so rooted in what’s normal quote this whole thing with covid, I would love to hear what’s happening on the other side of the world with that, but there’s so much lack of understanding and lack of control and lack of whatever people think is normal because they have not meditated on the river, have not meditated on the change where my children are literally always around whatever… We’re literally about to go Mountains and hiking and going to Waterfall is like… They don’t just… They’re not just immersed in it, visually, they’re immersed spiritually, which I love.
Yes. Well, to add on to that, the whole thing about not accepting or… People are having a really hard time. We all are… I had a really hard time, obviously during the lockdown, every all were going through the same thing, and it’s really mentally hard, so this getting thrown in that situation really made me say, Okay, what am I gonna do to help me in this situation? And I was meditating, I was reading… It was opening my mind to the universe and to how can I better myself when I’m confined like this pretty much alone with my boyfriend confined, and I’m seeing a lot of posts, sometimes a negative story posts on Instagram that’s like, Okay, guys, if you are drinking a lot, it’s totally okay. Kind of like all these really weird… It’s okay if you’re… It’s okay if we get frustrated… I agree, but when I saw that I was binge drinking, I was like, Who made this post? Why can’t we look at the other side? Try to get to something more positive from the… Yeah, no, I think that that’s so valuable insight even just to process that because it’s a normal response to cope, so there’s a problem, how can I instead of necessarily going to the root of the problem, it’s taught to like, Let’s just fix it. And one of our listeners right now is saying it perfectly, she said, It’s interesting that you said that because a part of why I overreact is because I have other things, like people will say, Calm down, when something happens, I feel as if I shouldn’t have those feelings and then I’ll beat myself up or feel guilty for having that feeling, and then it becomes a cycle I get caught up in, If I don’t stop processing, stop to process the feeling. And so it’s the same thing that this huge thing is happening or small thing is happening, you have to process it, and instead of Cope alongside and just suppress the problem, you need to actually make the change and watch the change evolve in your life and be okay with that ebbing and flowing.
Right, right. And so obviously, nobody’s gonna have perfect days either, so obviously that happens to be with the getting frustrated or just little things, even when you’re just with your partner for so long, maybe little things will annoy you and yeah, I’m honestly actively trying to work on little things that I might get annoyed with, or maybe I’ll notice the response, I’ll be like, Oh wow, so it did just come naturally, I didn’t… You know, just like what she’s saying, it’s almost like a cycle that happens and you have to note it and then be like, Okay, I’m gonna be better.
Yeah, it’s really good. And I was actually studying through therapy about cycles and how the whole world really operates in cycles, even just think about seasons, every year we know it’s gonna be winter, spring, summer, fall, winter, spring, summer, fall. That’s an easy way for us to understand and unpack set cycles, and there’s no stopping that from happening. Maybe I could move to Mexico and I could try to transition out of some of the sum of the winters that I don’t necessarily want to indulge, but it’s still going to be happening, and so from a therapy perspective, I was in a very negative cycle, a cycle that had been in grain since I was little, and when I understood that there was power in my ability to actually stop the cycle because the cycle was happening on my own action on my own accord, and I had the power and… Well, through God, obviously giving me strength, ’cause I couldn’t surely do it when I was really weak at the time that I was accepting this of myself, I realized, Okay, in order for this to happen, I have to take ownership here, I have to understand and unpack the problem, and again, going back to that root. And so that instead of those cycles continue, I have to catapult myself from where the cycle is to way over here, because if I don’t, and it’s just like a Magento Him to remove, I’m gonna end up being back in the same thing. So if the coping mechanism is like, Okay, this will get me by now, I’m gonna come back to the cycle because it’s comfortable, the… I’ll go, I’m a little bit more removed. Coming back to the cycle, and all these cycles are everything from Little White Lies, compulsive line like the dumbest littlest things, they weren’t affecting anyone, but little eyes become big lies. It was things like… Gosh, things in my marriage and relational, that I was happening with my husband where I was actually relying on my mom more than I was relying on my spouse, and that’s the whole concept of leaving and cleaning and being with them, and I wasn’t… I never left and I never left. Does that work?
I never did that with my spouse, I just allowed myself to remain in a site goal, and you wouldn’t think if I said it out loud that I lean on my mom, that that’s a bad thing. That’s great, you have an amazing relationship with your mom, but that wasn’t the intention of marriage, that’s not the purpose of a covenant, that’s not… Two becoming one, right? Soothe cycles aren’t just like, Oh, she was addicted to heroin.
No, that’s not the case. I’ve never tried to her win by the way. But it was just a good example of something Grandes, where people who are like, Oh my goodness, but cycles happen small and they happen big, and if we can recognize the ability of ourselves to catapult out of it, sometimes it might take a move, something huge, like you did so let’s kind of take the spotlight off me here for a second, and I wanna know, let’s go back to the starting of Shauna as an American and how you got to where you are now, and what was the cycle change for you, what put you there great question. So yeah, I’m from LA when I was 18. well, I played volleyball growing up through high school since I was 12, and I got a scholarship to go play at Washington State…
AZO, go Coke. I don’t know if you guys in pax1 D1 volleyball, and I had a scholarship for two years. My parents didn’t save college funds, a lot of my friends back in LA, so I had to kind of find it on my own when I was young, I set the goal like, Okay, I’m 13, I’m gonna get a scholarship and play volleyball, GE, and I did it was two years full. And then I did get academic scholarships for the other two, so it was like, everything worked out perfectly, I manifested the… I’m gonna get college paid for because I knew my parents didn’t have the money to pay for it, and I did it, so that was kind of my adolescence, I guess you could say, and my parents helped me… They were really their entrepreneurs themselves, they didn’t go to college, obviously, everybody’s got their own little traumas that they deal with, but my mom’s mom died when she was 13, she had a really hard upbringing, and then she got into drugs and stuff, and she kind of made a switch. So when she was 17, she started working for herself, she left the house, her down house and just was an entrepreneur, so I kind of think I’ve inherited a little bit of that for my mom, and then my dad is black, and he’s also an entrepreneur. He has his own construction company, so I kind of always had this independent mindset, just kind of like, Okay, you gotta make it happen. Sorry for saying. That’s where I sit.
I had another Coles can I cuss on here? And I’m like, Do you not anodes?
I’ve kind of always had that in just my upbringing, and after after college, I studied international business and finance, I always wanted to live in Spain, it’s been like my dream, I’ve taken Spanish throughout all high school, college, everything, and the last semester of college, I had a chance to study abroad in Bill bow, Spain, which is the north of Spain, rainy kind of like Seattle with her. And I fell in love with it, I was like, Wow, Europe is so different than the US. Just the lifestyle, the way that they’re on the street, walking around, so much more active in a way, just on a daily basis.
Fashion is amazing too.
I just started learning a lot about the European culture, and I also wanted to go to Europe because my great-grandpa is a Holocaust survivor, so we come from the checklist at the time, and they were the only two children that got saved on the trains that left out of Prague, there were only 6, 6, 9 children. Yeah, there were only 669 children that this… It’s called a kinder transport that left. And so that was honestly another really big reason why I wanted to go to Europe is ’cause my mom’s side is Jewish, my dad’s side is Christian, and I always wanted to connect and I just go… Relive some of the places.
So cool, I so desperately wanna go to Israel and the walk of a masato, do all of that, because I have a lot of heritage of Judaism in my family as well, and I just… It’s so intriguing to me. And even unpacking the Bible, like I am right now, from this book called seamless, which is literally teaching you from Genesis to Revelation how to be able to share the Gospel with someone in a really seamless like light way, but knowing in confidence in studying the Bible. I would… That’s just so cool that you have both of those cultures. How does that…
I’m gonna go back to that. I want… You keep going. So you decided to go… Your roots are there. You fell in love. You’re still in college at this point. So I was still… Yeah, I was still in college, I was in my last semester. And then once I did that little six-month study abroad, by the way, if you get… If any of the listeners have kids, I think everybody says it was the best experience out of their whole college, so if there’s a way that you can persuade… I don’t know your kids or family members to go abroad, I would really advise it, most people don’t come back, they go back to the… Don’t come back to your up, they say in the US, and they just always remember it with such sweet memories. But after that, I did the normal corporate job, I had a contract line to start June in that summer, and I did the corporate job as our society kind of shows you that you should after college at a corporate job… I did it, it was great. I like working with people, but I always felt like this void, I felt like everybody was just talking about… I don’t know, buying a house and getting… I had friends that were buying houses at 22, which is fine, it’s really cool, but I guess I was just thinking there’s so much more for me that I need to see an experience before making that big decision or just saying, Okay, I’m settling here. And he’s in… ’cause I was working in Houston and that’s it. And I came back to Spain, I study a master, he left the job after a year and a half, and I did a Master in entrepreneurship and innovation, and that’s when I came to Barcelona ’cause it’s a very international city, and I started creating my entrepreneurship… I did my entrepreneurship course, and then afterwards I created this web design company that’s called your life innovated, and they also do social media, and I use English and Spanish, so I can also service Spanish clients, but most of the clients are in the US, just because there’s a lot more business. Yeah, that is so cool. To a summary. It’s so good. So what did your parents think about that? ’cause you’re like five. Do you feel like you’ve been sitting on the dream God has given you for far too long, do you feel out of alignment or obedience because of it, or perhaps you’ve been spinning your wheels on how to answer God’s call, but can’t quite define or design it into a business. Maybe you’ve titled this god dream a ministry. One, you wholeheartedly give all of your time and the energy to yet your passion isn’t providing the profit you need to stay in your home, your first ministry.
Do you struggle with the idea of earning money doing something you believe he want you to do it, you servant, Do you feel unworthy as a woman to possess… One, I get it. I’ve been in every one of those shoes, and I can promise you the moment I traded those worn out handles for his intended comfort, I was able to finally walk the Miles has taken to grow the dream, from ideation to activation, catapulting my true passions into my full purpose… And now, while I’ve had a joint group Coach many women over the past couple of years in a group setting, I still say There are leasing straps to their well-need shoes.
So I design this course, the god dream design course, to walk alongside you intimately until you’ve claimed the gift of the shoes he has always wanted, run… You’re probably wondering if this is the sure fire way to claim your roots, to discover your wings as a kingdom entree. Why are we talking about shoes?
Well, these aren’t NIS, they aren’t easy, whatever the kids call them these days, and I’m not giving you sandals like Hermes either. God’s choose to reply.
Gods have limitless souls that never wear down, they are promised to get you where He has shown you that you were intended to be, so come along for the ride, get out of that stuck analysis per also state of limitation and develop the mindsets, methods and models to bring to life the vision he has planned for you before your IT and your mother’s will sign up today for your self-paced program where I will actually provide you live coaching a community of women to walk this journey alongside a package of goodies right at your door step and many more incredible deliverables, you can find all of the details on my site at Tamra Andres dot com, don’t forget Tamra, T-A-M-R-A. I got the good version… Thanks mom.
There really girls, it’s time to fly. I promise it’s a screen as it sounds, Central’s a big thing because my parents are super supportive about me doing all of this, my mom, like I said, my dad, they’re both such entrepreneurs, they don’t listen to anybody, they just… They do what they feel is best, and they kinda always taught me that, and so they’ve always supported my decisions, whereas I have other friends, which I’m sure you guys might have other friends that are like this, there are other people’s parents, they’ll look negatively to that for a child to move that far away, but believe it or not, my mom and I talk more than we did when I was living in the US, we talk every night at 10 PM my time, and 40 PM east to… So still your time. I hope you’re watching.
Don’t take a good… That’s really… Yeah, that’s the thing I think is that’s difficult, is how are your parents… Are they accepting if you were to go to something, so… Gosh, I think my mom would really have a hard time if I was to leave only because we are so close, but you know, think now that I’ve kind of evolved into my faith, and she just sees the freedom that I have in my journey too, as an entrepreneur, and the opportunity that exists in that connecting with people around the world, especially in this last year with everything happening in covid, I’ve had the beautiful chance to just speak with women across the globe, and it’s so freeing to know one that I’m not as crazy as I think I’m in here, or as when I talk about loud sometimes to people, I get cross, why would you do that? That’s so much work. Why would you put that on your shoulders or… But it’s the transformation that you offer people and then to actually know that it could be anywhere in the world doing this right now, you guys… I’m gonna close it actually in my new co-working space, which is amazing, I could be anywhere in the world, and the reason I’m here right now is because of my children and my husband’s role in his company, but I and he both know that God has crystal Blues in our future. So you’ll have to hang out for the ride and will totally come visit you wherever you are, ’cause we love to travel so much.
Yes. We’re ready to receive you.
I think the biggest thing in this, in this conversation too, for people to pull out for themselves, if they feel either one, they’re stuck in the space that they’re in now, or that there’s a fear factor of what if… Right, of course, you had the moment of, Okay, I’m gonna go to a country where I don’t know anyone, and what if this happens or what if… I think for a lot of people would be, if I’m leaving Mommy and Daddy in this corporate job and all my friends, What if I fail?
And this is often a mindset that I have to walk women through when I start coaching them as they build a business, because you guys… Failure is a facade. It isn’t really a thing. It actually exist unless you put that weight and Gil on your shoulders, it’s actually just like everything else we’ve been talking about, an opportunity to just move in a new direction, and it’s so bizarre to me that in my entrepreneurial journey, I have this abundant freedom to be able to ebb and flow all the time, and if we circle back to the beginning of that conversation, when it comes to things in my personal life, specifically around my family life and my kids, I don’t even flow the same, so it’s just interesting and it’s interesting, I don’t know on the deep of it, I don’t know the gene of it, but I do know that there’s so much to it, I think that it’s so true that the fear factor, like the show, whatever happens in that show, the fear factor is a really… That’s been probably the biggest struggle in the past five years that I’ve been over here, he’s like… Fear became really real. I think it first developed when I was playing D1 volleyball, I wasn’t the best on the team, and my coaches were chewing my behind because I can take a lot and I don’t say anything, so I’m kind of like the sponge. And so it kind of like… I know that it sounds kind of crazy, but do sports as great as people think they are? I think a lot of me, I learned how to go past fear, but I think I took some bad parts of that too, and I… I had some bad experiences with some of the girls on the team, they were kind of bullying me a lot, and I would just kind of take it because we weren’t really aligned, they were… It were just cat’s kind of like that with female sports in NCAA sports, and I had a really hard time with that, and I think a lot of my fear came from that experience, and so I started to doubt myself more and things like that, so I’ve had to push through that and these doubtful thoughts while I’m here… ’cause I sometimes think, Should I go back to the US? Like, What am I doing staying in Europe for so long? Like, Do I wanna buy a house in the US? Or do I wanna buy a house here in Europe, but then I think… You know what? Whatever happens happens. There’s a plan, and I’m not gonna stress over it. Because why should I judge myself? And I don’t care what people think. Those are the two main things, is the judgment aspect, and then just accepting and not having that fear.
That’s really good.
I think comparison is a key role in everything that we do, especially with these things that are constantly in our face of… What is that person doing? What is she doing? And just like you said, from the beginning of your journey after you got out of school, what was everybody doing and you could have stayed in that comparison and done the status quo and said You did something really different, and I will tell you that I chose to follow the status quo, even though I pursued entrepreneurship straight out of college, similar to you, I wasn’t following the sitcom financial side of my life, but everything else was so cookie cutter, you date the guy, you move in with the guy, you marry the guy, you have a baby, it’s a boy, and then you have a baby, it’s a girl, and you got the house and the cars and the white picket fence. Legit, I lived down the street from my mom. I was doing the thing in the same neighborhood I grew up in. No exaggeration. And I think that normalcy and that cycle… I’m gonna go back to it. It had me paralyzed. And it was suffocating and while on the outside looking in, it had to get appeal and the perfectionism facade, again, just like failure or perfectionism, if it’s not real space. I didn’t know how else respond to those things, and so I started coping in private because I didn’t know what I was afraid of, what other people thought I was gonna be judged.
I was gonna have this comparison factor, and everybody else seemed to have it together and they were fine with their cycle and their normal and their American dream, and when I quit both of my roles in both of my companies, that was exactly what I first club to was that I quit the American dream and then it was okay. It was hard.
But it was so worth it. It was so worth it.
Well, what was your initial feeling when you quit those jobs, was it like a feeling of relief or was it… Were you hard on yourself? From the judgment, 100% I was not in. The coaching that I get to do now, I coach people into this transition of leaving what’s comfortable and bringing to them to the place of freedom and freedom in their finances, and freedom, and their wealth and rich… And that’s not money. Right. That’s like internal wealth. And so I didn’t transition, there was no like, I’m gonna evolve out of this process, and even when I said I’m stopping these things, I didn’t have the next plan, which I’m a planner, I’m a control freak, type A… Can you tell… There was none of that. And so I’m curious, even for you, as you journey into an entire new country again, and you have a plan, because you have your business foundation, but you don’t really have a personal life plan, you’re just kind of along… We talk about it a lot, we know we don’t wanna have kids until we’re married, we know we don’t wanna be married maybe until 30 to a couple of more years, we know that we wanna wait to have kids, so those kinds of things. Yes, but in terms of like, it’s because here they don’t plan the same way that we plan in the US, so in a way, the whole planning, I’m like, You took… My mom is like too, so I think I inherited from my mom, which maybe might be true for you to… 100%. I never set… My mom’s the entrepreneur planner for sure.
Yeah, so the whole plan thing that we do in the US, it’s nothing… Do you know the majority of people here in Europe don’t even think about buying homes, they just ran their whole life because the public healthcare system… Not healthcare, that public healthcare system is great, and then they get this amazing retirement plan from the government. That’s really good. So they don’t care about that. Most people do end up buying homes, but it’s not like in our minds for young people, like it is in the US, it’s nothing the same.
So for me, I’m thinking like, Okay, I’m in a hustle right now, which is what I’m doing with this business, with web design, helping female entrepreneurs and small businesses, that’s my focus more on a sustainable… I wanna focus on small businesses who are sustainable and trying to support a cause like yourself, you have the podcast, you bring on different cultures… This is what I’m talking about, people that are actually trying to make a change in the world. So I’m hustling with that and then I’m gonna be saving and then whatever happens happens, if that means we’re gonna move back to the US and put a down payment on a house, then we can do that, but we’re also looking at property here in Spain and France because it’s a lot cheaper. So I’m not stressing so much about this whole American dream plan because it’s actually not necessary, you can buy a house anywhere else, you have to know how to do it the right way.
I love that.
And we actually are.
Not impossible, nothing’s impossible.
No, gosh, no. And I think even being in America, where a lot of my target audience is right now is they feel the pressure of that, and they’ve either jumped into those places, even out of ability to even be in those places, so… Debt is such a common thing here. Right, it… Should it be the fact that you didn’t have student loans… I’m still paying student loans. It’s like the craziest thing to me. And that’s gonna be the first thing that I’m like, Okay, this is gone. Right.
And I don’t want that for my kids is… It’s just a comment. Like people are just like, Oh, which are dentin come ratio? And what do you have in your 401K and what… How the Ohms, you on? And for me and my husband, that’s never been a priority for us. We wanna not have credit debt and we want our cars to be paid, we don’t have houses under our name, we have rented and we’ve owned things, but it’s just not… We don’t put that pressure on ourselves, which allows us to have so much more freedom in our ability to travel, in our ability to teach our kids that entrepreneurship is not the norm for two people in a home to be both entrepreneurs. There is so much risk in that, but there’s so much wealthy, beautiful, nutritious reward, and I want my kids, which it sounds like this is how your parents lived, and he just want you to be joyful, they just want you to know that you have power in that joy, and you don’t have to be stuck in something that you feel forced to be enforced to be stuck into… Exactly, because that then trickles down to our kids obviously, and then build that same habit. I think it’s almost just like the society that we’re in in the US, it’s like obviously… So it’s structured, we have to have things… It’s so many different things and so many… It’s insane, the amount of things that we have to own it, to Series A. and that was also a part of it is, but it doesn’t have to be some pictures and frames and things like that, which is a part of home. Right, but when I quit both of those jobs, one of the things that we were simultaneously doing, which I had no idea that the Lord had this plan of visually showing me what it looked like to minimize and simplify on the outside of my life, and then a couple of months later, I did the exact same thing with my internal self and just got rid and uprooted so much mess, it was like I had hung all these pictures on every single wall in my room in my house, every single nook and cranny had something covering it… And there was no freedom. And just being in the space. And so moving into a new home, the first thing that people do is they hang pictures and they put stuff in, like I was just satisfied with transition, and it didn’t have to have every single thing being full and filled in the first business that I launched after I closed those other two businesses and got my minister’s license was simplify the heart, which was less this mission of minimization and simplification and how powerful it can be for us as a human race.
I kind of wanna circle into something because you mentioned it briefly, and I had no idea prior jumping on the call, and I have been… As covid has happened, there’s been a lot of other conversations that have been happening in the world, and as your mom is listening and hopefully your dad tunes into, I want to honor them in the biracial marriage that they were in, and have a conversation with you about what was that like growing up and now being kind of transplant in another country, how is that ethnicity piece playing a role in your life and how has it in the past… So that’s a really good question. It’s always been very interesting because I went to private school, so I had a mom that was Jewish, and then my dad’s side is Christian. So I grew up, I went to a Lutheran school, private school from K through 8, but I was known as… I would tell people my mom’s Jewish, like a little kid running around. I do. My moms do it. Everything like that. And people would make fun of me.
I would be like, I don’t know, just typical kid stuff, and then when my dad would come pick me up from school to be like, Who’s that? So he would kind of is… Because it was… The school I went to, it was private, it was predominantly white, there were some mixed race there, but I definitely felt like when my dad was present, people would always look at him like, Oh, I don’t know, it’s just kind of a weird feeling when that happens, another interesting thing that’s happened too is. Because I don’t look African-American. I guess I got different genes. Right. But when I go to family reunions, it’s really funny, I go to my family… My dad’s side is from South Carolina. And the last family or Union we went to, they were like, Oh, she shows like were… And they were like, No way. So I’ve always had this kind of mixture of races in my family, so I’ve always grown up just knowing acceptance and just always being okay with whoever comes… However, you come across like you judge the person, you don’t judge a person, you take them for who they are and their soul or spirit, you don’t… You know what I’m saying? And so 100%, I think that your mom is it. Pam Smith is that mama.
She says, she says, All I just allowed her to be open-minded, which is exactly what we need, right. In society, so much so, so such a beautiful testimony to who you are and that worldly mindset, and knowing that we have the ability to have a worldly mindset even within our home, and so it’s not necessarily about… Though, I think introduction to other cultures and things like that is foundational to that, it can also happen, just write at home based on the exposure that we as parents, even me and half Mexican husband have towards our children. Right.
Yeah, I’ve had really weird experiences because I don’t look dark, right, so I’ve had it to where people are mouthing racist things because they think it’s okay because I’m white, it’s crazy, and then I just go off on them, I say, You have no place in saying that I was actually a country dancing one time in Texas, and I had that happen and I just left the guy and just… I was like, Are you should believe right now, I was like, You have no place in saying those things, I don’t know exactly what I said, but I put it in this place, I left it, just seeing the… How people really, when they feel comfortable in their views, in their racist views, that they will let stuff off, not even knowing who you are and what you think. It’s crazy, it’s basally good.
It’s an interesting thing to think of it from that perspective of like, even if you have the same skin tone, they still don’t know your history, one of the pastors said that you look through your eyes, you don’t look with your eyes, you actually look through them because everything that’s back here is your experiences, your memories, your influences, the lessons you’ve been taught, and even me and my siblings, like the lens that we’re looking through are still very different based on the relationships that we cultivate in school, the sports that we played, or whatever influences that have happened, and it just… It’s really interesting that people have such freedom in the spaces of judgment towards others, and then at the very same moment, they’re probably equally, if not more, judging themselves, regardless of the free-flowing mouthpiece that they shouldn’t probably use as often as they do. Right, exactly.
Yeah, and I think what’s happening right now, I was listening to your last podcast, I think it was with your best friend… She’s your best friend right now. The one that I just did live.
Yeah, I think it was August 3rd.
I… You call her your sister, right.
Oh my gosh, I’m so curious who it is, was it on my actual podcast live… No, I see Sister like You’re my sister or her sisters.
Well, basically, you guys were talking about how… You said that it was kind of like there’s goodness in what is happening right now, because it’s like shedding light on everything that needs to drastically change, and I think it’s so true because even in Barcelona, when the protests were happening, we did a protest in Barcelona, there were a couple of thousand people there. So people, it’s not just like how you said US-based, this is a worldwide thing. And it’s not just Americans, white Americans, it’s also white English people, it’s also… ’cause I see it, I have English friends and I know people who are just like that, and I’m like, friends of friends who are like that.
So it’s a no-interest in America-based problem, it’s everywhere, so it’s really important to spread every… Share something every day, like, what we’re doing?
Yeah, that’s kind of my goal. One of my goals is to help support black businesses and help them grow, and also just like, let’s keep going, let’s keep sharing, let’s keep sharing news, let’s keep talking about talking about… I love that, and I think that was my whole reason for even bringing it up is because there was so much emphasis on it, even in my podcast originally of this racial discrimination and what that looks like, and really opening that… I was reading through a book, I was listening to so many sermons around it, and then once the riot stopped or once the protest stop, or once the gathering stopped, at least in my field of you, I know that they don’t necessarily stop, but I was like, Wait, a second, this is the whole problem. This is the whole issue, is that it kinda comes to a surface, right, it was like a pimple with it, and then it’s gone and then it’s over… Well, no, they’re still a wound there, you still have to nurture it until it’s completely healed, and we’ve never been at a place where we’ve been completely healed, and I wanna make sure that I’m stewarding those continued conversations in order for there to be continued healing and continued… Growth in perspective. So thank you for sharing that. Just when you said that, I’m like, Oh my gosh, I literally just had this conversation in my brain this morning with Jesus, so… Thank you. So aneurin non-profits right now, like two months ago, I think it was, I didn’t give a website giveaway to help support a black business owner. And then part of the giveaway was I donated money to the Black Lives Matter Non-profit of the winners confound out. I have a whole list of all these non-profits that are super awesome, and I’ve been able to connect with with some of them, like if any of you guys are listening, the black light project, super super awesome, she’s… It’s a media type of non-profit, and what they’re doing is trying to change the narrative of what we typically see on the news around the black community, so it’s really, really interesting what she’s doing and she’s… She’s on the East Coast too, but it’s called the black light project. I met her. That was from Instagram. I mean, the power of just social media and interacting with people, we’re just discovering all of these cool projects that are being funded or that are initiatives projects to help to spread light and a lot…
I love that, That’s like where your heart is towards what you do too, because it’s everything you do, like I’m such a creative… My best friend is a creative, so we’re all constantly just divulging in learning tweaking and web development and social media management, like the things that you offer to clients is like, it’s more than just a service that your business needs ’cause it does need it, but it’s more about representation of the inner self in a beautiful way, it’s just… It’s like art work for your inner self when you are an entrepreneur, and so when people come to my website or they come to my social media on a daily basis, the response that I get from strangers is like, Oh, it’s so joyful. It’s so vibrant and so alive, and I’m like, Yes, yes.
We need your joy. Yeah, this is like that brand representation, a genuine and real… That’s the vibe, when I saw what you’re doing and what your mission is, just like you’re… And that’s, I think what you have to do just with everything. I was actually talking to somebody today. Her name is Michelle, she’s one of my friends on Instagram, we haven’t actually met, but we do voice memos to each other sometimes, and we were talking about how this whole thing about Instagram, how a lot of people… Well, there’s a lot of fake-ness that goes on, but I’m starting to see and starting just to collaborate with really, really real people like yourself, they’ll actually talk to you, they’ll actually respond to you and take an interest to what you’re doing, but also you genuinely wanna know how you can help them and serve them.
Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I think the more that we continue to do that and continue to link arms, as I love to say, That’s where the triple effect of the things that are in our hearts, of hearts begin to truly take place, the cycles actually stop and like they break and it literally brings our entire conversation full circle, and it goes back into the place of like, you guys, it doesn’t have to happen right here, it doesn’t have to be your neighbor. There you’re called to your neighbor, like I would still consider you a neighbor, even though you’re across the world, and so it’s just a matter of perspective, and I’m grateful that we’re in community together and excited to see one… You show up for your community. So amazingly, so beautiful, you guys have to follow her on her social media, your life innovated, and… Is it your name to seanad of two.
I have two, I have this one and I have the personal one, but I would say that You’re innovated, I post more… Yeah, maybe that what your digital nomad life is so fun… We don’t wanna live by Castro.
Yeah, I have that one, and then I have another one which is Teach English and travel… To teach English in travel dot com, that was my back-up plan. So when I came over here, it wasn’t like, Oh, okay, that’s it. I’m just gonna go off of one thing, I always have backup plan, obviously, I… The teaching English abroad is definitely a great job, you can do that anywhere. So I help people transition to… Come teach English in different countries.
That’s a side.Is really cool. I love that.
That’s really cool. And I think that… That’s a wise word. I always have a back-up plan. ’cause again, we go back to that conversation of failing forward, right, or something not working out, like who’s to say that anything that we do on a consistent basis isn’t gonna work out, and that’s again, out of our hands, out of my needing to control… I can’t control it all, it’s just gonna be what it is. And it’s a beautiful evolution, I’m excited for you to be in this whole new country, I can’t believe you moved and didn’t even tell me… Is such an exciting thing, but I didn’t put where I thought you were before. So no, it’s okay because I’m a digital nomad, so you can… You can say I’m in sprain, you can say I’m in France.
You ain’t worried about… All that AI stuff happens on the Internet. Are you in France, they have such different… As close as they are to pain, you just have so many different flavors here, there’s so much into… I don’t know if you like the sun dried tomatoes, I didn’t even know this was a thing, but France is super heavy with the Sundry to me, no stringent, so good. You guys have to… When you come here, I love it.
I wish you could see my shirt right now, there is… Right. To make the Yuan, that’s how you say it to in French.
Naomi did take two years of French, but I’m much more fluent in Spanish.
Nice. Okay, cool. So you see Spanish, ketones.
Me, that’s so awesome. It’s another thing we do, just mention it is with this exact conversation in the midst of everything else that we talked about is about full immersion, and that’s exactly what you’ve done, but when you can fully immerse yourself into the new, into the fresh… Into the change into the river, the flowing river that you were talking about the very beginning, that’s where life is, is in that full submission and immersion of oneself into the good, of course, and you jump into the bad, you can fully… Or mesosa there too, and I promise you the ripple effect will be very far, that hurt, but seeking the things of light and love and energy and community and… Oh gosh, all the things living is so good, and I value you as a person for doing that, thank you. And I value you for what you’re doing, and thank you so much for having me on your wonderful show. It’s honestly been really awesome to connect and to just talk about life and just like the cycle thing, I think is really very… And I probably wanna learn more about what your strategies are to help you get out of there out of that cycle, so… I would love to hear more. I don’t know why.
I like it. We’ll have to part too, I’ve never had a part too, but maybe we should have it in the cycle… I had to do it, it was hard. We’ve talked about it actually quite a bit on the show in previous episodes, but not necessarily… And like This is how… Again, I think everybody’s journeys are so different, but there’s definitely ways that I did it, and it’s actually… It will be a part of the book that I am in current editing process, finally after two and a half years of writing, so we have people on who are listening and said that this is great. She’s so beautiful. She said, Tamas, everyone’s sister.
And yes, part two. So we’ll have to end the cycles, and again, thank you so much, so it was such a joy and I’m excited to see where you had next, and I’m proud of you.
Thank you so much, and I would like to say ovate communities, which means good. Bye.
And so later vienti as so much. Hey, it’s me again. I hope in today’s episode, you send an Ignite to an ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey before you go… Let’s do… Let it… By the point, I’d love for you to take a step right now and declare your take away by snapping a pick of the episode you tune it to share your spark moment and tag me at it, the podcast or me personally at Tamarind on Insta. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the baited podcast listeners, we’re totally in this together, community over competition is the moderate. I’d also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening out, I’d love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project a big shout out. You know my writer, so I love words and I can’t wait to read what you have to say, I’m ready to fuel the blame with you together, and until next time, blessings over your joy, Powell and wholeness. So next time,