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I Will Thrive, Not Just Survive with Nicole Crank



International speaker and mega pastor and multi-time author, Nicole Crank, lays it all on the line because it's not about her name. It's about His, and she allows the good work that has been done in her to provide good works for people in other countries like Cuba, and more people who have been suppressed and depressed based on circumstantial situations.


I love how she spoke about God’s forgiveness. He forgives it all. So go into this episode in a state of receiving as you listened to Nicole share her story. Remember "I will thrive, not just survive".


🎉🎉🎉Interested in reaping your harvest? Applications are open to join our Harvest Mastermind today to ensure you have a space in our November group! Spots are limited, so apply today!https://www.tamraandress.com/mastermind

#tamraandress #nicolecrank


About Nicole:

Nicole Crank is an international conference speaker, blogger, mega-Pastor, and author. She and her husband, David, are the founders and lead pastors of FaithChurch.com with four church campuses in St. Louis, Missouri and two campuses in the West Palm Beach, Florida area. freethrivebook.com


Show Notes: I Will Thrive, Not Just Survive with Nicole Crank

We are not allowed to cuss. So I'm going to say holy camoly this one. It is so incredible. To receive from someone who has walked through it, who has stood back up time and time again, who has experienced so many of the heartaches and heartbreaks that my heart has also felt that I know for certain, that yours has too.


Maybe you fall under the one in three or the one in four stat. And if you don't know what that is, you're going to learn about it here. But this international speaker and mega pastor and multi time author, she lays it all on the line because it's not about her name. It's about his. And she allows the good work that has been done in her to provide good works for more people or people in other countries like Cuba, more people who have been suppressed in depressed based on circumstantial situations.


And also, I love how she spoken. To those who also have to raise their hand, the thing that you have chosen to do the thing that was by your action or your thought or your choice, God forgives it all. He forgives it all. And so I hope that you just are in a state of receiving, as you listened to Nicole, crank share her story.


I hope that you follow her on social media and go to her website and tag her and show and share this episode on social media because. Someone you want to get to know no different than every other person I have on the show, but in such a special way, because we have so many overlaps in our stories. And so I am excited about her new book.


I hope you get your hands on it. And I hope that you will thrive. It's called I will thrive and you'll see the word survive. Just ripped off the page because it's not about surviving this life. It's about thriving through it and how we give you the tools today to be able to do so. Ultimately, as we share, it's more so about how God is going to do it because he's done it for us and he'll do it again.


Cause he always does. We love you. And we can't wait to hear what your thoughts are. So surely leave a review and a star. We love you. See ya. Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneur.


And kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress. And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories, talents.


As a purpose activator and brand builder, I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.


Hello, so happy to have you here today, Nicole. Thank you so much for tuning into the fit and faith podcast. Live with. Well, I'm so happy to be here. And that promo was bomb. Yeah. I know. It told you to killed it. It's so fun. Every time I see it, I'm like, I think I spend more time laughing than I do interviewing, but I'm okay with that.


Yeah. That's, that's a problem. I think so. I think so. You guys, if you do not know Nicole crank, let me do a little mini via before we go deep into the juicy stuff. She is an international conference speaker, a blogger, a meadow pastor, and an author, a multi-time author. By the way, I got a devotional that she did five years ago and now circa 2021.


She just has a new book out called I will survive. The rive, right? So you have to see the actual, you saw it in the intro, but if you're listening to the podcast, the book tells the story because it's less about surviving. We know we want to live a life in the thriving zone and her and her husband, David, our founders and lead pastors of faith church.


And there's four campuses in St. Louis, Missouri, and two campuses in west Palm beach, which I believe is where you reside. Correct. Well, Okay. All the above it's background, west Palm beach. Gorgeous. I love it. Sunny, Florida. Well, we are so grateful to have you, and I'm excited to dive in. I remember when I first heard you speak on stage, I was like, whoa, you were like a bomb in this little body frame and I was not anticipating it.


And so it was such a treasure. I know it'll be the same for everyone on today. Well, I love that someone with a podcast called. In state is calling me a little frame for those of you who have never seen me. I am five 11, so I'm almost six foot tall and let's just put it this way. Don't weigh a hundred pounds.


And if I'm going to fit in faith in anything, I'm going to fit in my faith pants, your Thanksgiving bands, your maternity ones that you wear the year later, you know what? Yes. You know, that we all Excel at something and, you know, Minus snips. So whenever awesome. Well, we're excited for you to be here. And I think that there's so much more to someone and as you know, for a woman sake, that our figure, but I'm sure for a while there might've been a season where being five 11 as a young girl was not so fun.


You want to take us down that journey? Well, um, my whole childhood, well, that's not true. It starting bad at about 10 years old childhood was not. I don't know, I wouldn't call it fun. Um, the premise for the book that I wrote and I wrote the book that I wrote only because kicking and screaming, by the way, because God never asked you to do something that you want to do so true.


Um, if you're like, God told me to do that and I really want to, eh, chances are that was you that told you, you want me to do that. Um, but if there's something you really don't want to do and God's like pushing you out there, Then yeah, that's that, that's how, you know, people like, how do you know if it's God, well, do you want to do it?


No, probably God go and harvest that field real quick. And that doesn't, that's not an easy thing to do. Right. And, and I definitely can. Parallel to the book writing journey that feels like the kicking and screaming, the weeping, the therapy on therapy, just to get the pages out. Right. So it's so true. And God told me you're going to have to make your plane pain, your platform, which I did not want to do because, um, I was born.


Given up by my dad before I was born, but I didn't know that until fourth grade, fourth grade was a monumental year. That's why I said life was pretty good till I was 10 because you know, we weren't wealthy. We were actually very not wealthy. We were, we were low income, but I didn't know that I didn't care.


I lived in a country. I lived on a gravel road. I had a second hand bicycle. I thought it was on the carport with our wrecked car, which was our new car. My dad worked at a factory. He got laid off. He was looking for another job, but I mean, I was just, I was blissfully ignorant. I just did not know there wasn't social media, any of that stuff.


Fourth grade, I found out that, um, I was adopted. But my dad, when I was in the U S when I was three, I got saved, which is what, that was a high point of that year. And it was the year that I got molested in my little town. Um, and that threw my whole life for a curve and how my pain is my platform and why that was a big deal for me.


As I said that I would never tell anybody what happened to me again, because in fifth grade, I had this really great idea. I'm like, I'm going to confide in my friend, but in my ten-year-old wisdom, my brain didn't like kick that ball the way down the field, because I didn't think what does a little girl do when she hears the.


Let me see when to tell everyone she, she, she did. She told everyone, and here's the funny thing is things start out rooted in truth and what she heard and what, what, what happened. But then stories take on a life of their own and they exploded and expanded. And so I actually wrote a whole chapter in my book called, and actually you said it's kind of hard title because you almost have to see it.


Cause it's like, except for survivors ripped off the page, but you still had to see what the word was. Because we're not called to survive. Life surviving. Life is not life surviving. Life is getting we're called to thrive. We're called to be blessed. We're called to be abundantly above. We're called to be salt to this Rutgers called to be Spacey to this world.


We're called to be the light that shines out in the darkness. And you can't do that if you are barely good. And so after I got bullied, so chapter four is called the bullying. And bully. Wasn't a term that I heard for like 25 years after it happened to me. Right. But all I knew was sticks and stones. They didn't break my bones, but they sure crushed my spirit and they hurt.


And I didn't like being alone in the outcast. And the only girl in the whole school, we had our own locker, which you would think would be a great thing, but it was really like a social D marker. Cause nobody wanted to even share a locker with me. And, um, I was never going to tell anybody. My pain again, I was going to keep it inside and just shove it way down deep, and God was not going to let that happen.


It's wild too, to think how young you were like that is such an imprint. And I remember being my secrets being told to all of the school, and it was three months before high school graduation. And it paralleled to my faith a lot because I was a leader in the church. Youth group that we all met on a consistent basis.


And I was completely ostracized, not only by the students, but also by all of the leaders. And so that church hurt component really set in for me. I'm curious since you had that experience with. Establishing your faith and meeting Jesus at the same time. Where are you able to find rest and solitude in him?


Or were you not really in the knowing that that was even possible at that time? You know, not, not during that time. Um, I, God told me something as I was writing the book, um, I actually wrote the book and then he spoke to me on this level afterwards. I was always writing the workbook, which is like, oh my gosh, it was like a deep dive in.


The thing about the book is people tell me they read it two ways. One, they read it in one to two days, like cover to cover, which it's a lot to cover because I not only cover the pain of molestation, betrayal, rejection, adoption. Marrying the wrong man who becomes physically abusive, who began stalking me, put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger.


So it reads like a story, like a movie, but each chapter dives into things like how to overcome bullying, how to deal with rejection, how to walk by faith and betrayal. And then I talk about coping mechanism. That I used all of them. Like, I'm just the gamut. I used fear. I used anger. I used overachievement to prove my worth to a bunch of people who weren't even looking.


I used building walls to keep people out of my heart. I used people pleasing. And the wild thing is I had to walk through a bunch of coping mechanisms on my own, trying to get by trying to be strong, to really figure out, yeah, Nicole, you're not going to be able to pull this off by yourself. And I had to hit rock bottom and find out Jesus was the rocket, the bottom.


So that I could have a sure foundation on which to really build my life, which is where I started chapter nine, where I, I call that chapter meeting Mr. Right, where I met my husband of he's going to, it's going to be 24 years. And just a couple of days in it's amazing. Congratulations. But I told him no for five months and I think I skipped it.


God told me when I was writing the workbook. He said, I am not obligated to heal a hurt that you don't give me. And I think a lot of us don't give God our hurts because one we've been betrayed. We've been rejected or we're mad at God. Like, like, God, if I talk to you right now, I'm going to cuss use all the words.


And God's like, I'm a big boy. I can handle that. And I'd much rather this might freak some people out, but God would much rather have you yell and cuss at him than not talk to him at all. Because if you're in conversation with him, at least he can take it somewhere and some people might be thinking, how can you say that about God that he's not obligated to heal your hurts?


Well, that's what, cause I was kinda like that. I was like, God, that's not nice. And he's like check the contract, which is how I refer to the Bible because of that. He's like check the contract and sure enough, first Peter five seven says, cast your cares. You have to give them, give me your cares because I care for you.


And I was like, oh, okay. Yeah, you're telling me what to do. He said, Hey in James, what is it? You have not because you I'm like, oh, because you asked not. And he said, yeah, I told you to ask him what, and I'm like, keep on asking. He said, I told you to knock and what keep on knocking. He told you to what and what keep on seeking.


I'm like, okay, God, I get it. You made your point like 10 times. I'll start bringing you stuff. Even when I'm even a little mad at you for. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that can parallel to grief. Right? I'm thinking about all the people who are standing in grief right now in this season or loss or lack, right?


Like it's, it's no, um, variation in what that is, what that conversation looks like because his needs and our needs. He wants and needs us to though he is of above all of those things in his glory, but he desperately desires us to be in that communication piece with him. And I love that. You said it doesn't matter if you're yelling at him.


It doesn't matter if you're angry. It doesn't matter if you don't mean. Words to say, but you're still yearning for there to be a response from God, your spirit cries out just as much as your mouth cries out. And yet, if you decide to close the door completely and run in the opposite direction, which is what I did because I allow what they said and how they acted and what they were doing to then project what he is rather than understanding that I have to come to him.


And not worry about what they are doing or they are saying, right. It's hard. It's a hard thing to do when you put people on pedestals and then they don't live up to those expectation. And nobody, nobody ever will know because there was, there was one perfect guy. He lived, I don't know, 2000 years ago. And before him, there has not been a perfect person.


And here's the crazy thing I'm actually writing. Somebody reached out to me today and asked me to write a talk about excellence and I asked them, okay, can I write the talk on the difference between perfection and excellence? Because perfection is something unachievable and leaves us frustrated and.


With current culture, we think we are supposed to live in that space of filters. Like I'm really, really upset right now that there's no filter on this because I've not seen scars,


but because there is no perfection, but excellence and God does ask us to live with excellence and excellence is not a destination. Excellence is a journey. And we can survive and train you. We will live a life of survival if we reach and strive for perfection. But if we live a life of excellence, it is a journey that will take us from level to level faith, to faith, victory, to victory.


And that is how we will keep improving in life as we keep striving for excellence, because we will never arrive. And that's one of the things, as you talked about grief, um, people grieve all kinds of circumstance. Like when you get raped or molested or something gets taken from you and why that's so common.


One in three women, it is reported are raped or molested before the age of 18. Here's the shocker one in five men. And these are the reported instances. And if you read, if you read the studies, they say that only about a third. The instances are reported. So it's way more than that. And I know I was molested when I was in fourth grade.


I was raped when I was in eighth grade. I was 13 years old. They did this, um, community service program in my junior high, which I don't know who came up with that idea, but that if you really think about it, like, okay, let's take people who are in trouble with the law and put them around a bunch, a miners Lord.


Oh my gosh. Where are these people? But, um, they tried it, it failed miserably, but I didn't tell a soul because of what had happened to me before. And I I'm this honest about it in my book. And I'm dishonest with you right now. If you're listening or watching live right now, like why is she throwing all her junk out there?


Because I lived a life of setback. Hold back. Failure, depression and anxiety. For a long time. And the problem with that life, that life of survival, because I could have gotten by when I married my ex-husband and we had a blissful. Blissful marriage for three whole weeks now. I mean, we were engaged for 13 months.


We dated before then, but three weeks into our marriage, he used crack cocaine for the first time, became incredibly violent, broke my rip, herniated, my C7. I have things to grieve. I had reasons for depression, anxiety, and setback, and I didn't enter my life of thriving for way too long. And I thought if I can air my problem.


And you can see your potential. Why wouldn't I do that? That, and the fact that God arm wrestled me when I was, I left my life. The only way to get away from my husband, he became ex-husband. He became fixated on me, was I sent my son back to his high school dad because I ended up being a pregnant unwed mother in high school because I got to a new school and a school district, a new, a new city, a new opportunity.


My know had failed me in the last station. Yeah. So I thought I would try. Yes. And yes, got me invited to parties and yes had me drinking and yes had me that boys would go hold my hand and yes, that boy can kiss me. And yes, got me pregnant at 17 where life had failed me to that point, but I had failed myself enlisted, or this is what I want to share with you.


I know you think you can't because of what happened to you. Or what happened because of you? It's one of, usually one of those two reasons I can't, because you know, my socioeconomic status, I can't because of my gender. I can't, because of my race. I can't, because of my education. I can't, because of my income.


I can't, because I dropped out of high school. I can't, because I didn't go to college. I can't because I screwed up when I was young. I can't because I want to do and all the T. Not because of what happened to you or even what happened because of you. I can't, because I committed this crime. I can't, because, you know, I, I just quit.


I can't, because I walked away. I can't because I was the cheater. You know, those are all reasons that the enemy is working on siloing you off and getting you alone and keeping you from the life that you were born for purpose for and destined for gracious thing. I told y'all. Big punch in a little frame that is believable.


It's this knowing that when you're talking, you're not even in that explanation of it's my excuse or it's my fault. Either one is it does not segment me one listening because every single person can find themselves in one or many, many. I'm raising my hand over there for those listening. Of those categories.


And it's so critical of why we say yes to this uncomfortable thing of sharing our story one, because it's in the contract, it's literally in the contract. We, we are called to share our testimony, but it's not to say, oh, wow, look at what Nicole has to do. Look at now, how she's about to celebrate 24 years.


Look at now how she's redeemed and a mega church pastor look at all of these things that Nicole. No, it is all by the grace and the glory of God, but it was through her obedience that the fruit bears. And through fear. Yeah. Come on, speak to that for sure. You know, and the first book I ever wrote, it's called high God, it's me again.


That's the one I have


God revealed to me. What faith really is. I know what the Bible says this now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence. Things not seen without faith. It's impossible to please God. So if we flip flop that, then it takes faith to please get. So, I mean, I know what the Bible said about faith, but like a personal revelation for me is when God told me your faith doesn't even begin until your ability in.


And that's when I like a Christian cust, I said, oh, damn. Because that's when I realized a lot of areas that I thought I'm walking by faith and not by sight, you know, I'm doing good. God was like, no, you're doing what you think you can do. So really you haven't even stepped out by faith yet. Yeah. And that's brings hope, I think to a lot of people, because until we are at the end of our rope, Until we don't know what to do until we, uh, people DM me.


They, they get on my website. They email me all the time and they're telling I've tried everything. And I just can't, what do I do now? I'm like, oh, that's the most blessed position to be an ever, because now we have the opportunity to really walk by faith because faith does not begin until our ability ends.


And it took me getting to the end of myself. To just get to the beginning of God. So good. And the crazy thing is, is when you take that hindsight 2020 experience, right? And you go back and you do the healing work of the inner child, and you sit with her and all of those situations that were so tumultuous, and it seemed like you were completely alone and you recognize that he never left your side.


It feels even then that's where like maybe that anger that twinge can come in to say, Where were you? And he was right there, but at the very same time you get to then forgive myself. And I think forgiveness is a huge part of the entire process. One, we forgive much because we've been forgiven for much, right.


And until we're able to receive that forgiveness, we cannot then bear it on our side. Or to others in the process. And therefore you're then pent up in anger because of everything that's either happened to you. Or like you said, you have had happen because of your choice. And there's nobody, that's not a one of those two.


Right. You know, we think people, and that's another trick of the enemy is we look at other people and we're like, but look how great their life is. And they're in. So many people, this is what I love about when I, when I share about the things that have happened to me or because of me and I go out into the lobby and I expect maybe some, some broken women to come to me.


And I see these guys in suits with high power jobs or bikers with major tats and tough clothes. And they come up to me with tears in their eyes, barely able to choke up out the word. That was me. And I've never told anyone. And that's what I'm like. I know God has been chasing them for 30 or 40 years trying to get ahold of them.


So they could say those words because he's not obligated to heal are that they don't care. What's interesting, as you said that, I know that you're talking about it had happened to them, but when you think about that statistic, that one in four and one in three, they're probably people within that one in four, one in three, where they were the persecutor.


Right. And it. It then covers a multitude of people even more. So that's why it's important for us to share. And when I was two and a half, like this is first memory flooded to me at 29 and a therapy session while given a book that I was like, I'm not reading this. It doesn't even apply to me. And my therapist had only been with me for about three days.


And she was the multitude of therapists that I had to go to. Cause I was really good at putting on a show. And so until I came to that place where it was the end of me and I was just willing to surrender and receive something from somebody else. I was reading this book and it was called no stones and it was for sex addicts.


I was like, no, that doesn't even define me. And it was about chapter three where I just completely fell into the fold of the book. And the story that I was reading was no different than the author of that book. And two and a half years old, I was. Forcibly chosen to help a boy at the age of 10, who was the size of a man.


He had a mental handicapped and, um, to Jack off in a playground set in my backyard at a daycare. Right. And it happened over. And over and over again, and he was obsessed with the three Stooges. And so he would put his huge finger. I just remember feeling so tiny and he was like, so masculine and huge over my lips.


And so silence and being silenced was something that was literally suppressed into my very nature for so long, that little white lies and happy smiling faces because everything is fine. And this little girl is just fine. And this little girl becomes a young girl and she can do all things. And the whole time being completely trapped in what was expected of me, I was to perform as a woman.


I was not to be loved. I was not to be catered to. I was not to be nurtured. I was to perform and then pornography at six during a little game of hide and seek. That then became a closet addiction for several years, that then became AOL, dial up internet and chat rooms and thank God Snapchat and all those other things didn't exist so that I couldn't share my address and all of those things.


But. It leads to shame over shame, over shame, to the point where you are wearing such a mask, such an identity that's so far away from where God would have you stand that you are, you don't know how to get back there. It doesn't even feel like you can crawl because you can hardly breathe. And your actions because of your coping mechanisms become what you think is that life has to offer.


And it's sad and sick and scary and isolating. And so it is something that we have to be willing. The end of me is as a book also by Kyle Idleman, hilarious and very difficult to get through, but his sense of humor, like you keeps you laughing and entertain to listen more. Um, but it was, it was those two things, the recognition of what had happened.


And I could finally say this is the root, but it was still me that had to raise the hand to all of the acts thereafter that I, by free will chose. I knew what was right and wrong. And it was hard. It was very hard to write all of that down because I could choose when to share it. Like the first time I shared publicly, I shared it from a platform at our church.


And I liked that setting because nobody could ask me about. I can share what I want to share for as long as I want to share it. And I could even color it just a little bit, leave off some preface, leave off somewhere that led to, you know, and so, um, I didn't want to have a conversation and I knew putting it in print was going to put it all out there for my parents who would have to read it and feel like they failed.


And this is what I want to share for. A parent of anybody who has found out that something has happened to their child. And, um, I wrote this in my book for my mom, who she just flew in from St. Louis she's downstairs. I haven't seen her in a month or two. And, um, I'm really excited to go see her and talk with them.


But I wrote it for her and it's available to every other parent. And that is, Hey mom, just because this happened to me, you didn't fail. There is no way that any parent can be with their child 100% of the time and see the evil that is lurking and people with smiling faces and seemingly good intentions.


So if something has happened to your child, Stop blaming yourself. Because as long as you're blaming yourself, you are frozen in that moment and you won't be able to heal. You have to just admit, I couldn't, I couldn't have protected them for that. Or maybe you think you could have, but you can't go back and change it.


So the fact that you couldn't can't go back and change it. Now that would be a, not, it happened to you in that you were the parent that didn't stop it or couldn't stop it. And it happened because of you maybe because you said, oh, maybe I could have stopped it, but I didn't stop it. Okay. That happened because of you.


So now let's take it to the throne. Okay. Got it. Um, I didn't stop this and it's going over and over in my mind. So I'm stuck there. The only way to get on stuff. Just to repent. They God, maybe I could have, but I didn't. So what do I do now? God says you're gonna have to give that one to me and trust that I can heal.


And I can heal them, but until you let go of it, like right now, a lot of people are like rustling with it. Like, I can't give that to God. It's my fault. Well, it's going to continue to be yours until you give it to him. Like you got to give it, you got to let it go. Let it go holding back and he more, oh God, take the gloves off.


Elsa. Gotta give it to him. So.


I see a sister, the dream is spending. Calling you forward. And yet the works are taking a toll


summoned into purpose to reap what he promised, what you desire is noble and honest.


Co-laborers needed to level up your fields. Plow, plant. Harvest to yield


your vision and growth well manifest layer, spirit to rest with all you invest


a fresh season upon you waiting to flourish, requiring your faith and works to nourish.


Are you ready to repeat your harvest?


This is what people talk about when you hear songs about the alter. Cause I know a huge part of my community being in faith, right. Doesn't necessarily mean that they're in church and they've never witnessed that alter moment and they've never actually. Read the Bible enough to understand what the throne room is, or they've never understood how to pray per se.


And so they feel like they don't do it, quote unquote, perfectly enough that they would be worthy to even speak to God. Or they were raised in a Catholic like environment where there had to be somebody who was holier than now to then insert that into the throat. How do you speak, how do you help somebody come into that understanding of, of what is the alter moment and what does that exchange look like if you were just in your home, listening to this or your car driving?


You know, I understand bless me, father fries, and it's been way too long since my last confession, holy Mary full of grace. The Lord is with me because I went to Catholic elementary school. It's in the book. Um, and I was really proud of my 17 year old. When, uh, somebody asked her some questions and it was a person who was searching and looking.


And actually it was a late forties, super powerful attorney. Who asked her a couple of questions, not in a belittling way. They were actually opening up to her a little bit. Uh, and yet this 17 year old had enough wherewithal and understanding of who God was to her, that she was totally comfortable answering this question.


We love that. And she told this, this attorney, she said, you know, I'm really excited that you're asking some questions about God, and I want to invite you to my church, but I hope you don't come to my church looking for religion because you're not going to find it there. Actually, if you go anywhere looking for a relationship, I think you're gonna be a little bit, let down or religion you're going to be let down because it's really about relationship.


And if you can just get in relationship with God. And so I'm going to take that 17 year old dancing. And say, and I'm going to tell you, I do believe in church. I do believe in getting in an environment where worship is happening, because nobody has to be preaching or even talking for chains to break. If you get in the presence of God and his presence is fullness of joy.


And the joy of the Lord is our strength. So if you're looking for strength in our life, if you look at the contract, strength comes from joy. Joy comes from the presence of God. So when you get in that worship and the presence of God, you get stronger, you get joy filled, you can feel things leaving. You even saw in the Bible king Saul had this little boy named David come and play the harp stuff for him, because he's like, when you were playing this godly music, like the demons, leave me alone.


What is. It's the presence of God bringing joy and strength. So I would say get to get to a church or at least worship online, but it's not about the, it's not about the religion. It's not about the form. It's not about the format. It's about relationships. That's why Casa got, if you have to don't, don't use it as regular practice.


Don't use it as a regular practice, but don't let it get in your way. Yeah. Yeah. And I think when you think through something as simple and maybe as complex, depending on your experience with it as relates to. No different than us just having this conversation. It's just like turning the first page. Right?


You don't have to go to all the scary places immediately. If that's not something that you feel led to share or, or unfold or uncover at that point, there is security in knowing that he is on. Neuro security and knowing that even still you are loved and that it's forgiven. But I think the biggest thing as we go through that process of repentance, repentance, isn't this like heavy experience.


It's literally just an opportunity to change your ways. That's what repent means to change your. And we can do that little I little by little and those little tiny transitions for our life. Those habit changes those mindset tricks that we have to tap into the health and wealth of our physical, being our mental, being our emotional being allows us to take the split and take the why in the road that then leads us to the place where God would have us become.


Right. Never be because until I'm on the right hand of the father, I am not, I have not anywhere. I haven't made it. Nobody's made it. Even if they're on the. Um, and so understanding that even as pastors stand and teach and preach, they're still becoming too. Nobody is more than, or less than we are all created equal in the eyes of the Lord.


No. That's well said. Thank you. Thank you. So I want to get in, because I know in your book, you're, you're actually doing it in a really cool, um, just opportunity. I want to say for people, because I'm an entrepreneurial realm and I see funnels and books and things like that all the time. And so all of the people listening who are in the business sector, they're like, Ooh, how is she doing it?


I want to know, let me look. And I love that you're doing it in this bundle experience. And so I want you to talk people through that because there are people listening who love the heart of the father and they want to serve through this way, but they're also building a business and we know that God is a prosperous God in an abundant God.


And he believes in money and he believes in great resources and he wants that for his children and we deserve to own it because we're going to do great things with it. Um, so I'd love for you to talk through that way. Well, God gave me a mandate and that was to be real and to. And to get people from the pain to the promise.


So I'm supposed to get used my pain as my platform to get people from the pain, to the promise and a real raw and organic manner. And so one of the things God gave me, um, I say, God tricked me into being a preacher because I would have never done it. That I married this worship leader. Then our father, my father-in-law passed an early age and we just wanted to help these people and leave the church because we didn't know what to do.


Doug gunner. Got you. Tricked me. Um, he, he did, he tricked me, but he only did it because if he would ask me, I would've told him no. And I know that for a fact, because in the book I talk about where I got offered a television show, um, on an international platform and I told them no three times. And so God got up in my face and asked me the question.


He, he, he just, he, God can do the craziest things. He asked me one question and I know you just know you're in trouble. He said, oh, are you going to waste this opportunity that I've given you? Uh, no, sir. I'm going to go right back to them and throw them we, yes, it's going to be awesome. And it was my insecurity.


What's the reason I wanted to say no, because I didn't think I was, I could do it well with all my current commitments. I thought I'm going to embarrass me. I'm going to be with my husband. I'm going to be researched church on a beers. The network is going to be horrible. They're gone. Nope. That's that's, that's my pride that needed to go on a planet.


And just be cut right off. And, um, so in order to support that financially, uh, I have worked with ClickFunnels to provide what I call a high value partnership. 'cause in ministries, people partner with you. And I love that, but I wanted to partner with people in a higher value way. I think prayer is extremely valuable and I pray for my partners daily, and I believe that seed is valuable when people so into you can't expect to become what you don't.


So when. And so people sewed in too, they had an expectation, they had a right to claim what I was doing because they were sewing to it and they could claim that type harvest. If you want watermelon seed, you plant watermelon seed, right. In a watermelon field, you don't plant it in the ocean because it's not working.


So, um, I believed in both those things, but I wanted to provide mentoring and coach. So, um, I didn't want to send out a monthly letter, so I send out emails. I just poured out my heart in an email about how to go from broken to building. And then I'm going to do two zoom calls. This, this particular month.


One about being broken with Sheila wall. Because she just another amazing book on being broken and how to come back from it. And then I want to talk, tell them how to build, and we're going to do not a webinar, but we're going to do a zoom call where I can see their faces, hear their voices, hear their pain, and maybe walk a couple of people through it.


One-on-one when we walk through chapter nine, which is meeting Mr. Wright, and it's saying no to those God opportunity. And why are we saying no to those God opportunities? What is the root cause that I said no. And the root cause was my insecurity, my pain and my pride. So how do we cut those things off?


And when I was in Florida, I know you told me to talk about the business model. So I have a business model of partnership, but high value partnership through a click funnel so that we can send the books into. So that we can send the books for free to recovery programs so that we can send the books for free and girls and sex trafficking.


So we can give the books for free to anybody who, who wants it online because it's $23 on Amazon. If you go to me to my website, it's free. You just pay shipping. You get a 30 day trial. So the circle of friends, they get to sow seed into the partnership which provides the television program, the free books, the resources, the materials projects we do.


We we've sent over 5,000 books to Cuba, which does not have one Christian bookstore on the entire. Island, and it costs a month's salary to buy a single book. So we're giving books away because they don't have resources. So that's the things that they're, they're sewing into and yet they're getting partnership.


So what I've done and I don't know, I'm the only person that I know who's done. I, I don't, I have never seen it. That's why I was super curious when I saw it. I'm like, Ooh, I like her brain. I always tell my babies when they do something awesome.


your brain. Cause this is good. I really love it. And it is, there is such value to this, but even more so it's that next layer of value that's happening that they don't get to see or fully understand, but you're sharing, it's going to so many more hands that would have never. Hmm. And that's the thing, there's a vision.


So if you're working on building your business, know what you're called to, you know, I guess the world calls it a mission statement, you know, but, but know what you're called to and then do that and do it unapologetically. Do it, nobody else is doing this great. That means you're probably called to it because there's these that need you.


So just do what you're called to do, do it unapologetically, and then find a way to resource it and God will open your eyes. And it will probably make you a little uncomfortable because God doesn't inspire you to do things that make you comfortable for your time. To be uncomfortable consistently when you say yes to God like that literally is just what it is.


When you find yourself in a comfort zone, there's likely that air of complacency, and he's telling you to do something he's knocking. And like you said, you're not answering, you're not answering. And so I would really highly want anyone, no matter what level you're in that you would recognize that he's still knocking, he didn't stop knocking.


You just might not be. And one network, just so people hear what God can do. Like let me brag on God for a second. One network gives us hundreds of thousand dollars. Of airtime because Christian TV shows have to pay to be on secular TV shows get paid to be on. So we're saying to produce the show and we're paying to be on some networks, but the network that recruited us said, we'll give you the free air time of your produce, the shelf.


They give us hundreds of thousands of dollars in free air time every month, since then we've been picked up by eight other networks for free. Wow. Oh, come on. But if I would not have been obedient when I was uncomfortable and I'm telling you, it's not like, well, God told me to do it for hours. Not like I got in trouble with God and got obedient.


So I could have been obedient, no telling what he would have been able to open up for me if I would have said yes when he first asked me to, but do that thing you're scared to do. If God's beckoning your heart to do it, do it because you have no idea. There's eight more networks and I'm here to tell you, I believe there's more networks coming.


Come on. So good. It's so incredible. And there's so much more, I know, to your story. And even just experiencing being a lead pastor at a mega church, like there's a whole conversational route that we could take in that. Um, because I can only imagine and got to have a little bit of a behind the scenes experience with your friend carpenter this past weekend.


And I'm just, I'm blown away by. Every little detail. Right. And it's no different than the book is that you read a chapter that's been curated, right. And you read a chapter that's been edited by other people. And even though the story is there and she lays her heart on the line and she says truth, then it's raw.


And it's real. Like she said, there's so many details in the midst of. Well, we were awaring what we're smelling, what our parental situation was like, what our friend groups were like that even as I came to the close of my book, There's so much more like I'm like, God, I just hope that in this book, that enough justice has been given that enough glory has been made to come to light so that I can stand another day with another opportunity to share and serve through a different lens of my testimony, because it's always knocking always.


And there's always a way to serve from a different perspective. And so I think even just from the first book that I got from you, and then this one. There's going to be so many more in, in the midst of it. And as we say, yes, it just continues to become, we have another lesson right after we got off the call.


She's going to have a time with her mom, her mom, and going to learn something. And that's what we have to do is as we learn, we serve, but making sure we're serving from the biblical foundation of what he says about those things, rather than what we think about those things. If I can leave people with a parting thought B okay.


B, B. What does that mean? Um, B okay. B being healed. Um, I would like to tell you I'm a hundred percent healed and I'm a hundred percent whole, but I'm here to tell you, I have seriously insecure moments and doubt and fear and anger and like, oh, did I just say yes to that? Because what I really meant was heck no.


And you know, all these things, so be okay. Be being healed, be becoming successful. You don't, you don't have to be anything you can be being. So I I'm I'm I am being a better wife. I'm not a better wife, but I haven't been, I'm going to be being a better wife and be being a better mom. And you're probably going to fail every day.


Here's the deal, you know, quitting is temporary. As long as you get up, one more time, the new fall down. It's staying down that makes it permanent. So quitting is temporary failures permanent only when you stay down. So if you cheated on your spouse one more time. If you yelled at your kid one more time.


If you were late on your report for your boss, one more time. If you, if you said yes, you meant no. And you actually lied because you're not going to do it one more time. Just get up one more time because his mercies are new every morning. And you can be being better tomorrow than you work today. So good.


I was, you guys can't see this, but if I had tissues and hankies, I'd be waving. I'm your way, Nicole. Thank you so much for this treasure time. It was incredible to share with you and just have you just pour into the community of the fit. The people who have just been along the journey for so long. So thank you again, you guys, you can find her.


I, uh, I followed her on Instagram and you can obviously go to her church, which is faith, church.com. Easy to remember, uh, where else and how they can get the book, obviously on Amazon, or you can go to crank resources.com. Phil crank. There you go. Easy peasy. You guys, all the links are below. We love you so much and I honor you.


Thank you for your. Oh, thanks for having me. I really appreciate it. And Hey guys, top, what is it? Top two and a half percent of faith. Uh, my pastors. It is Jesus is Jesus.


I'm blessed. Thank you so much. It's been fun. All right. Y'all it might not be the last time I'm going to bring some extra people back next year in this sequence with a series, which has been unlike the show has ever had. And so it's going to be really fun and maybe one day on TV, that's the dope. Ooh, come on via.


Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sends an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.


You tended it to share your sparked moment and tag me at bitten faith underscore podcast. Personally at Tamra dot and dress on. Instead, I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and fade podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?


I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I'd love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out, you know, I'm a writer. So I love words. I can't wait to read what you have to say.


I'm ready to fuel the plane with you together. And until next time blessings over your joy, health, wealth, and wholeness tune in next time.


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