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How to Have Your Life Not Suck with Bianca Olthoff


Bianca Olthoff is a generational influence to so many people who want to discover their meaning and purpose in Jesus. She's a multi-time bestselling author, is a weekly presence on stage with her church and on social media, she is a blessing and she is full of fire in all of the different ways.


From her ethnic background to the way that she shows up and curates language and words together to the way that she teaches the Bible and just the way she navigates life and connects with the community, I know that you're going to be blessed by her.

To have her on the show was such a treat. Be sure you follow her!

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About Bianca:

Bianca Juarez Olthoff is a bible-teaching, word-slanging MexiRican who is passionate about raising up a generation of people passionate about Jesus Christ. As an author, speaker, and podcaster, she knows the power of words and wields them wisely. As a church planter (www.tfhoc.org) and leader, she is committed to proclaiming the gospel domestically and internationally. For more information, follow along on social media or visit www.BiancaOlthoff.com

Where to Find Bianca:

https://www.biancaolthoff.com/

http://instagram.com/biancaolthoff

https://www.facebook.com/BiancaOlthoffSpeaks

Book: How To Have Your Life Not Suck

Podcast: We're Going There Podcast

Where to Find Tamra:

Let's Connect! Book a Call today to see how I can help you grow your business! https://calendly.com/tamra-andress/activation-intro-call

Want to write a book, start a podcast, or create an ecourse? Visit us at https://www.fitinfaithmedia.com/

TEXT Me (yes, it's really me!) at 📱757-906-3734


Show Notes: How to Have Your Life Not Suck

She is a generational influence on so many inspiring people to discover meaning and purpose in Jesus. She's a multi-time bestselling author and her pieces of work. In addition to her weekly presence on stage with her church and even in social media, she is a blessing and she. All of fire on all of the different ways.


You can imagine both from her ethnic background to the way that she shows up and curates language and words together to the way that she teaches the Bible and rights and just the way she navigates life and connects with the community. I know that you're going to be blessed by her, and I've already been blessed by her time and time again.


So to have her on the show was such a treat Bianca Olof. I'm so excited to have you. To know you is to be blessed. And obviously to know the depth of who you are through the Lord, is that much better. So you guys be sure to follow Bianca on all of the listening platforms, all of the social platforms, you will not regret it.


And like I said, you're going to love this one. So stay tuned for the fire. Happy.


Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom life. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.


And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep, or high that there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.


And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.


Hey, Hey, Hey, yo are high in an action with a Firestarter herself, Bianca all off. She calls herself a mixer Rican, which I love the combination and the flavor that she brings all the time. She is a podcast or an author and incredible speaker, a pastor, a teacher, an educator. And one of my favorite things about her is that she goes to.


All the time. Uh, and, and that's the place that we need to go. That's the place we're going to go today. And so if you've gotten tuned into we're going there, podcasts, you got to do that too. Cause she is bringing the heat with two minute interceptions and long-winded pastoral messages of Bianca. Thanks so much for being here.


I'm honored to be here. Thank you for having. Yeah, it's going to be a good one guys. And I've already have some people over on the side sit and they're so excited church multiple times. Let's go love Bianca. She is spoken at my heart and church. Oh, that's awesome. You got to tell us about your church. So she knows where you're, where you're coming in from.


But Bianca, let's dive in. I read, you know, multiple books of yours. I've listened to the podcast. I listened to you on Sunday. And so I know a lot of your story, but maybe our listeners don't and I think it's really important when somebody has. Stuff of really being holy spirit led, like how do you get there and what does that journey look like?


And so if we want to share a bit of your backstory and then we'll get into some hot. Yeah. So, uh, first of all, I'm honored to have this conversation. I love that we get to see who's watching, who's listening, who's tuning in. It's always a privilege and honor to be able to have conversations, but I'm a little backstory.


I am born and raised in the church. My dad is a pastor. So I would say that I grew up in a quintessential like Christian home. But, uh, and so I said like, I want Jesus as my savior as a kid, but it probably wasn't until around the age of 22. 23 that, uh, I literally had to come to Jesus moment, literally, where I was faced with the reality of do I believe in who God says that he is?


And my mom was diagnosed with two forms of cancer. One of them was brain cancer, and I was, it really came to a moment where my prayers shifted from like, God heal my mom. You're real. If you heal my mom, you, if you do this for my mom, then I'll serve you. It really began to shift. Even if you don't, I'm still choosing to believe that you are good, that you're able, that you can.


And that you're a gracious God. And so that's, I think where my, my faith like had feet to it and, uh, again, being raised in a Christian household, I knew a lot of the Bible stories and I went to this thing called vacation Bible school, where you went. Church of the summer. And I went to summer camps and winter camps and that sort of stuff, but it wasn't until, probably around the age of 25 that I started to understand the doctrine of the spirit of God.


And I mean, that really honestly, to run that changed my life. I realized that I hadn't lived a half-baked life when I have access like Paul very clearly say it says the same sphere that resurrected Jesus from the grave is alive in me, time out, time out, hold up that where. Like, why do I, why am I walking around?


Like, I'm basic, like I'm anointed. So that, that really was like those two moments, like the understanding of who Jesus was, the acceptance of him as my savior. And then also choosing to walk in the fullness of the spirit of God were Seminole in my walk. Well, and honestly, it's interesting because I know as a mom and you as well, I'm sure you're like constantly cultivating these little humans and you don't really think about the word.


At least I didn't at the forefront of my motherhood journey I do now. Cause it's, I'm immersed in it, but this concept of identity, wasn't something that was ever taught to me. Uh, and I was just on a retreat with 12 women in Mexico actually. And I know is coming. Uh, Dominican. So it's fun. I love to be all over the world and immerse people in culture that they're not used to, but Mexico of course has your heart, but we're talking about like being crowned and that concept, like you said, hi, I'm anointed.


Like there is nothing basic about us. And so cultivating these little humans that are already standing in that identity in humility, which I find sometimes can create friction, ego, and humility associated to being crowned and anointed. I remember that flip of the switch for me. And it was in the darkest time of my life, like feet on the floor, face on the floor, fetal position experience where Jesus got a hold of me.


And I remember him just literally taking my chin, which was so downcast. I couldn't make eye contact with people and him just lifting me to his face. And I feel like that moment alone for so many people is what they need. How do you assure that in for other people to. You know, I think there's an African proverb.


Uh, I've tasted your tears. And it's basically an understanding of I to know this pain. So, you know, you can come in and I'm invited to like a conference or a church you can come in and wow. People with expertise or while people with knowledge or education. But really, I love walking into a room and getting I'm a, I'm a total feeler, right?


So I can go into a room and get like a feeling really quick. And I love being able to connect with the pain in the room because it's not our perfection that draws people to each other. It's our pain. It's our struggle that allows people to go to a place of honor. And I think that there's vulnerability is a big buzzword right now within like Christian talk and even non-Christian doc at all, unless I'm Renee brown.


I love it. Love it, love it. Yeah. I think that we automatically think it's easy to go there and or that it's safe to go there and it's not, I think sometimes the way that we break down those walls break down, those barriers is having a moment to say, this is where I've struggled. How are you? Wait, how are you really?


And creating space and grace for people to just put down the guard, allow our heart and mind to be open to the things that the spirit of God wants to tell us. And then creating a moment for us to let that, that, that word, that truth sink into our hearts. Then being able to. It's God does God love me? Am I seeing it's creating those moments that I think that's those, the licky where he becomes a lifter of our face, a lifter of our chin.


Those are those moments. That's. Yeah. Well, and I think this is not really a connection point for a lot of people. Is that concept of safety and vulnerability, right? It's. Everybody jumped into vulnerability and everyone just like spilling their bloodied hearts everywhere. And if you see the way that Jesus did it, like he didn't come back until that was a healed wound.


Right. He came back and he sat with his disciples and he said, you'll know me by my scars. And when he broke that bread and they saw this scar. So we had gone through healing. He had gone through resurrection that's when he could boldly proclaim who he was and that identity factor. And I had never really associated that to vulnerability until just now.


I really think that there's, that need for us to recognize like the safety has to first be found in God and always found them God. But before you go out to express that to other people or write a book like we've done, or things like that, it's you really need to know what is the word of God say about this?


What does the word of God say about you? And then to be able to fiercely and vulnerably show up in that way, which is, I really see you doing on a constantly. Thank you. Thank you. And on this topic before we move, like gloss to the next thing, I think it's important and worth us mentioning that there's a difference between vulnerability and transparency.


I think that we should be transparent with as many people as possible. I love to keep it real. Like, I mean, I just, I have no problem with that. I think we have to be cautious with who we're vulnerable with. And so vulnerability is essentially opening up. Transparency is saying, Hey, here's my life vulnerabilities.


Opening my heart. You open your heart. There is a risk that. Someone who's not going to be that Tinder with you can, can hurt you. So even in the life of Jesus, he had his followers and his fans, and then he had the, the, the ones that really like traveled with him. Then he had his 12 disciples, but then he had his three, Peter James and John.


So we talk about who we were vulnerable with, who are we sharing our business plans with? Who are we sharing our dreams with? Who are we sharing our struggles with? Those are the places that we could be. We're going to be careful not to bring everyone into like everything. Cause then we open up ourselves and potentially get her an unnecessarily.


Yeah, that's really good advice. And I think when I think through it from like a different lens, maybe not of you being in the situation, but kind of being a watcher over as you experienced that heartache with your mom and trying to navigate those huge emotions at such a young age. I mean, your prefrontal cortex, doesn't close to your.


So technically you're still so malleable to trauma. I mean, we're all malleable trauma at any point, but at this specific age and there you were in the midst of it. And so it's interesting that instead of like fighting with God, he, you actually surrendered in that experience. And so talk us through like the shift in I'm sure energy had to change from one place of anger and distraught or sadness to then I surrender it to you.


Yeah. I like to say that surrender is the first step to transformation. So we love a good transformation story, but surrender is at the point where we're saying, I'm going to let go of control. And I, I hate the phrase, let go and let God, but I really do subscribe to it. I really do best that my mom was wrestling with brain cancer and was given a 30% chance to live.


It was coupled with the fact that it's my senior year of college and I'm there on that. Scholarship. And I'm afraid I have got to maintain a certain GPA, but for me it wasn't just the basic GPA for me. I had to have a 4.0, I was dealing with a dysfunctional relationship with a man I affectionately referred to as Satan.


And we were dating for three years. I thought I was going to marry this guy. And, um, and we had broke up multiple times and it was just. There was a lot that was going on. My maternal grandmother also passed away during this time. So it got to a point where like everything around me felt like it was incinerated.


The things that I held almost in idle form, my relationship, my academics, my pursuit, my family, all of that was being just pride out of my hands. I had to get to a point where. Okay, go ahead. I'm done. You are in control. You're on the throne. I'm going to give you, I'm going to give you my heart and I'm going to trust you in this process.


Please don't let me do. So good. And that's really what that first book is about. It's like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, because what was being burned, he was like, don't worry. Like I am putting you through the fire, but I've got you. And I think that's where a lot of people get so stagnant that they end up being consumed by the fire, but not the fire.


The spirit, just the fire of the world. And especially with everything that's transpired with COVID and I don't want to get into all the politics and all the things that we could go down, those rabbit holes. And I did say right before I got on, I said, I'm not afraid to push those buttons, so we might go there, but it's just, there's a lot of tension.


There's a lot of fire with a lot of different people, groups and talk about ethnicity and having those multiple conversations on a consistent basis. It feels like a lot of things are burning and yet I've had this really bizarre sense of peace throughout this entire two year season. And it's been really neat to watch, uh, different people, inclusive of yourself, stand up in the face of fear.


And so talk to us through what that Phoenix rising from the assets, how that really helped. I think I just said. By the way I apologize in advance, I will. We're fine. You're fine. That was awesome. I was like, that just came out. That was good. So, but like really is how do you, how do you face the fear and understand that, like, you don't have to be consumed by what's going on around you and you can really have that, that eternal peace even here right now.


You know, when we talk about God, it's from the pages from Genesis to revelation, all the new Testament. We see that whenever fire is mentioned, one of two things happened. One, the presence of God is revealed and, or to. Some dramatic changes and happens. And so what I love is, um, during the season, when so many things just felt like it were like falling to pieces, it, I felt like I sensed and I didn't hear an audible voice, but I sense that God was saying the same fire.


That transforms is the same fire that destroys you get to choose. Do you want to be transformed and rise out of these ashes? Or do you want this to consume you and you lose your faith. And, uh, that was like a huge, huge pivot pivot point for me. I think the concept of, I resonated with the mythological story of the Phoenix rising out of his ashes, almost because it was like a, if you read that story in context, the Phoenix flies to the desert and, you know, tries to connect with God.


And that was essentially my journey. I checked with God, but it just felt like everything around me was incinerating. And yet this bird rises out of this ashes and becomes even mutable. And I think that that's what surrender. That's the beginning steps beginning with surrender. When we just say, okay, God, it's not my will, it's your world.


And we see this model by Jesus in the garden gets 70. When he says, take this cup from me, take this cup from me, but not my will, but your will be done. That act of surrender really transformed us. And we see that through the life of Jesus. He gave up his. In order for us to inherit ours. And we literally experienced the transformational power through Jesus.


And I'm like, I can't, I don't want to be afraid of the fire. I don't want to be afraid of life's fires. In fact, Uh, one of my favorite Bible stories and it's, it's in the book that you read play with fire is the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, because they came to a point in their faith that same, same moment of surrender they're going for those that aren't familiar with.


The Bible story, it's in the old Testament and it's these three roughneck brothers. I call these gangsters because they had so much swag to go to the most powerful person at the time and say, yo king Nebuchadnezzar, who is the most powerful man. We're not going to do what you've asked us to do, which was bow down to a graven image of gold.


Hey, we're not going to bow down. And even if you throw us into the flaming fire, we still will not bow by them because we know that God will save us. But even if he doesn't, we will not bow down. And it was that phrase, even if he doesn't, that is a that's faith where I'm saying, I believe that God can, but even if he doesn't, we are still not going to acquiesce.


That's the fake fire. That's good. And that book was written long before. COVID right. When did that book get to. Um, it came out in 2018. Yeah. So interesting. I hadn't put the parallel to like how really that's effective for right now. I mean, it's an oh right now book always. Right. Because of the concepts, but to parallel it to that and what we've been going through, it's like, I'm not.


Bowed down to the false idols that are being created for us, that they're asking us and they, whoever they are, that's your political preference, but really it's the knowing that like, if it's not God, I don't really want anything to do with it anyway. And so creating this sense of peace and calm in around our environments with the people that were vulnerable and.


To, um, it's been, it's been an interesting journey and it's been really interesting to witness the way like different denominations are showing up to the response of it. And, uh, it really makes you question. So I was having this really amazing conversation with someone. About them feeling, even though they had been a part of their church and engrossed in it for many, many years, moved with the church and all these different pieces, they are feeling like almost settled in a place of complacency while it feels like they're being fed outside of the church more than they are inside of the church.


And so I would. To hear, like, I know you are definitely pro corporate experience, but I also know that you're like, I need you to get after your meal Monday through Saturday to talk to us, uh, through some ways that we can, we can be fed on the daily rather than just hearing from a pastor or going to church on a Sunday.


Yes. You know, um, I love that you said that because the way that I explained it to our church, my husband and I lead a church called the father's house, orange county here in orange county, California. And the best way that I explain it to people is. I love that people come to church. I think it's amazing that people come to church, but if they're coming to church and that's the only time that they're fellowshipping with other believers or the only time that they're worshiping God, or the only time, God forbid that they're in their Bible, that's similar to eating one meal once a week and thinking that you're.


It's not going to have an effect on you. So in the same way that we would consider that anorexia people are experiencing spin, spiritual, anorexia, we're saying, and statistically speaking, most people are going to church once every six weeks pre COVID. It was once every four weeks. Now the statistics are proving unabashedly it's once every six weeks.


So if that's the case, people are not in the word of God. They're not worshiping. They're not having. With believers and they're coming to church and that's the one time that they're fed. It's no wonder people are walking around literally spiritually starving. They're not making the right decisions.


They're not doing the right things. They're not practicing spiritual disciplines. So I love that people come to church, but church is not the salt. I hate to say it. I say this as a church leader, I say this as a pastoral and center, my husband, the church is not the sole ball. We've got to daily die to self.


I hate that. So I'll just use it under the terms of daily practices, daily practices, whether it's just taking five. As to meditate on the law of the Lord. What does that mean? Even if you just give God five minutes, open up, open up the book of songs over to the book of Psalms and read a Psalm a day. Do you know that there's 31 Proverbs read one proverb a day, take a few minutes, put on a worship song.


What does it look like to just pray out loud for five minutes in your car? We talk about spiritual disciplines and we make it seem so complicated. Like read this book and spend 10 hours studying Greek keeper and air married. No. What was it like to take one step? Just one second. Atomic habits by, um, oh, I'm so good.


I'm terrible at author names. Oh, oh gosh. It's a number one bestseller for like decades at this point. It's so good. Yes. Tamra anyways. I'll make habits talks about the 1% rule. And if we just get 1% better every single day, we will be a completely transformed person. Well, if that works in the business sector, why wouldn't that work in the spiritual sector?


I'm going to be 1% better. I'm going to spend one more minute communicating with God. I'm going to forgive that person one more time. You know, I'm going to say one last bad word, whatever it may be. But I wonder if that would apply to our lives, like being a follower of Jesus. Is it just showing up at church?


It is looking like Jesus Monday through Saturday. And that's what I want to know. The church isn't going. I think. I was just going to say, like the sustenance that you get when you do spend that five minutes, it's you want, and you, you don't even think about it. You ended up spending six and then seven and then a, and then associated.


So atomic habits, you're now creating. Stack. That's like, anytime you're waiting for your coffee to brew instead of coffee. And then Jesus, it's like Jesus. While I wait for the copy, like it's brewed and gather, right? And so you're, you're creating this element of practice that is really that it's practice.


It's progression. It's sanctification. It doesn't have to be so serious. It is. It's very important. I'm convicted, convicted on the daily for different things, but it's. It doesn't have to be so structured, I guess is what I should say rather than serious, because it is a serious conversation, made a religion out of our relationship with God and I, that feels cliche, but it really has like, we have, we've almost made it like this tick box things that we have to do.


No, it's literally how awkward and weird would it be if we went to dinner and I had my to do list. Okay. Tamra tell me that you love me. Okay. Okay. So let's talk about your pain. Oh, you want me to write. Like how weird is that you approach God in this way. And I'm like, can we just keep it real? Like God wants us real with him, have a normal conversation, like a normal friend.


Cause that's what he is. He says no longer do I call you servants. I call you friends. So I get, I get turned up about. I love it. And thank God for the chat right now because James clear is the atomic habits. James Burton tag. Yes. Yes, yes. I love it.


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I just feel, I mean, there's so many different ways that we could go with this conversation right now. And I, I really think that one of the biggest things that is so critical and it's associated to identity is this conversation of sex. It's this conversation of shame associated to sex, um, and sex, whether it's identity.


Or sex, whether it's intimacy, um, because this is not only a part of my story. It's a part of the book that I wrote always becoming sex, shame and love. I want to send you a copy after this. I got to get your Addie before you leave. But it, I just said Addy, I'm just like coming out hot with some good lingo today.


Um, my gosh, my eight year old's rubbing off on me already. Uh, but really doesn't. I want, I want to hear, I just called you your sister's name beyond. What is, what is it that you're really feeling is the word for not just women, but for adolescents who are walking through the fire of who they are in the Lord or not even knowing the Lord, but they're being pressured constantly.


Whether it's through Instagram, Snapchat, all of these places to de-value who it is that they. Uh, wait, I'm so sorry. Can you repeat the question? Yeah, just like in the conversation associated to shame connected to sex connected, to like God's desire for sex and intimacy in our covenant marriage and how there's just a lot of demoralization and devaluation of our sex, sexual identity connected to love, I guess, is really the in.


So I think I just want to make sure that I'm answering. I think I'll take a stab at it and if I'm to go for it. Um, you know, from the beginning of time, I think one of the enemy's greatest tactics is hanging shame over our neck, like a yoke of bondage. And, um, I am passionate about healthy relations. Yeah.


From the very beginning, the book of Genesis, uh, God says, let us make man in our image in Hebrew, that word is Elohim. El is God L which is singular. Elohim is God plural. So if God was in community, God wants us to be in community healthy community matters to God. Healthy community should, should matter to us where we see like this miss is that I feel like, um, uh, sex has been the beautiful, shiny rap toy that feels elusive to everyone.


And w th the tension point is before you're married, it's the enemy is saying, don't have sex, have sex, have sex. Then you get married. And the temptation is don't have sex. Don't have sex, don't have sex and their shame on both of those sides. I think we need to address as the church, I think, in communicating to like a younger, I think you were talking about young kids, adolescents.


Yeah. So I think the messaging, the church unintentional. Has been that sex is bad and it's Shea and it's covered with shame and it's disgusting. And then you get married and then you should do it all the time. So I think if we have hijack the message of sex has been hijacked by the world and God is the creator of sex.


He looks at it and it says, yes, I approve. This is amazing. You were designed for. If we take back that message. I think that we should be, we should have the corner of the market on healthy relationships and healthy conversations about sex. So, um, it's funny that we're having this conversation because this Sunday at church, I'm actually teaching about married sex.


It's the big sex talk and we're going right now. And so I love, and the week after is unshaved. My husband's gonna be talking about that. So how.


I will also send multiple copies coming your way a whole box, throw them into the church views. Oh, that's so wild though, because it's just, I think through identity on a consistent basis. And I watch it through the lens of married women. And young adolescent women and everyone in between. Right. Um, and even women who are divorced, like then there's this whole other realm of conversation associated to that.


And it's really my ultimate mission in all things that I do business, um, showing up to life and, and being able to have the fit and faith podcast and anything that I do. It's obliterate shame and activate. Obliterate shame and activate purpose. And I'm really good. And I feel like it's really easy to activate purpose.


I can put a fire in somebody tiny any day, right? I'm like, let's go, you have a great idea. Let's make it come to life. But the shame piece, which is the former, it's the first and primary. This is what people often run from. And so we talked about sir, surrender. We talked about identity associated to that.


And then the sex piece is something that feels like it's a constant blanketed piece on our society. And so I'm excited that you're having these conversations and exposing people to sound biblical advice, but also like communication it's really. Saying it out loud because I think we keep it in our heads so often.


And that's the same thing with these other big conversations in manifestation or energy or spirituality. When you talk to us a bit and like maybe uncover some of your perspectives on these worldly conversations that are actually biblically. You know, I think, uh, gosh, it's super layered. It's it's, it's very layered.


I would think, um, as believers, when we speak about the power, I mentioned this at the top of our conversation, Paul, very clearly states that the same power that resurrected Jesus Christ from the grave is alive. And it is that spirit, but it's been this language of spirit and energy has been hijacked a lot by new age and new age philosophy.


Um, as well as necromancy. I mean, it's getting even necromancy is like talking to the dead and that spiritual world. So I think it's super important for us as believers to have a concept of who this, the holy spirit is, the spirit of God and developing that relationship with. I think where it gets muddled and where it gets confused is if we're not careful when someone uses their nomenclature of like the spirit, the universe, a manifestation, we can easily digest it and say, oh yeah, I understand that.


They're very, very different. Very different things, but unless we don't know, unless we know what we believe, we're not gonna be able to. As far as Paul writes to Timothy in first Timothy, he said to give every man an answer and we have to be able to know what it is that we believe. So that when we are in these conversations, we can talk and say, Hey, I hear where you're coming from.


The spirit that I'm referring to is the holy spirit, the spirit of God who empowers me to make decisions on the daily. And that is natural and supernatural. We can even go into gifts, like all the supernatural. I guess as well, but if we don't know what we believe, we won't be able to have these conversations and culture and impact culture and the way that we're working on.


Gosh. And I think that if, if the church took a hold of these conversations, rather than letting them simmer in society, and I see church, like I hate church, I love church y'all I have a church goer. My family goes to church and I just feel like. I use it as the body, the little C church, not the bride bride groom church.


Like I believe that there are spirit led connected humans that exist in spaces that are half, four walls. But what if when those walls are down or the doors are open or the doors are closed, we're still out making disciples. And if we're only trying to speak to the people who are in the church, my pastor always talks about he's called to the unchurched because there's so many who have been hurt by church.


For conversations exactly. Like this, they're ostracizing people for a lot of different, um, ideas. And it's only because no one really knows what does it actually say? And so even I could imagine, like just having sermon series, like you've been doing just in this conversation of sex and shame, it's gonna really break people wide open to say, oh my gosh, I have missed it.


I haven't really actually explored the truth. I've just been told what somebody else's perspective of the truth. Yeah. And I think it's important to know when we talk about truth, like, um, post-modern theories started with, uh, you know, Fuko, dairy da. And, and so when we talk about truth, I think it's been muddled.


Like, is it capital T truth? Is it lowercase T truth? When Jesus is very clear when he says I am the way the. And the life. And so when we talk about truth, it's not rooting it necessarily my version of the truth, though, from a therapeutic standpoint, let me clarify that when we recount stories and interactions with each other, how we've hurt each other, we have our version of truth.


That's where we can say my truth. But when we start talking about philosophical concepts of a veteran, Where we, if you're a believer of Jesus, if you're a follower of Jesus, we talk about that truth. It has to go back to the word of God. So it doesn't matter what you feel. It doesn't matter what you think when we talk about truth, we're going back to the word of God.


Why? Because Jesus said that he's the truth. Therefore, we subscribed to knowledge being taught from his word. And I love the fact that we get to ha that's that's our barometer. That's our anchor. That's our metrics for what it is that we believe as followers of. It's so good. One of the gals that I was mentioning to you offline with love remain ministry.


When I wrote my book and I was infusing, you know, scripture and story and things that I had been experienced through the Bible. I wanted to make sure that like my context was right, right. And so she was actually the first person who edited my book and it, there's not really like glory to that. Cause she's not an editor, but she's in and of itself a theologian.


She's the only person that I know that has read front to back as many times as she has. And she was able to bring life to. The book and in a way that I couldn't have otherwise done, because I was still at the time of writing it like a baby Christian, I felt. And so I think it's so important associated to that vulnerability conversation that we had in the forefront is like, if you are new in your faith, if this is something that you're exploring, um, at baby stages, you're still a Wadler toddler and adolescent.


Get plugged in with mentors, get plugged in with people who have that sound theology, um, and that are constantly going back and drawing from the well, and that's the well of his life and his capital T truth. And so I'm curious when you started writing the next book that you've brought out, which is how to have your life not suck.


Let's raise our hand. Everyone wants this and becoming today who you want to be tomorrow. How have you infused like the word of God and that, cause I haven't read that one yet. And so I'd love to know what, what you put in that tastes doin well in the matter is, is that when you tell people like, Hey, read the Bible there, they probably won't.


They, most people don't want to read a book of antiquity, but the, a book of antiquity could speak to us in maternity. And I love this one particular book, uh, called Ruth. And it is a short four chapter book out of the pages of the old. And I realized that when I was going through my quarter-life crisis, again, my mom's dying of cancer.


I'm breaking up with Satan. My grandmother's passing away. Um, what pants should I wear? Are cargo pants, really a thing like, oh, you going to say yesterday, mom jeans for the restaurant. Like I really needed a mentor and I didn't know how to get one. And we talk about it. Oh, we need a mentor. Where do you find a good mentor?


You know, it's difficult. Can be hard. Okay. I kind of made my way through 20 somethings in my quarter-life crisis, by going to the pages of the Bible and discovering, I had friends like Ruth and Naomi, the two main characters out of the book of Ruth. And I learned so much studying that book that ended up doing like a six week Bible study out of it and teaching out of it.


And that was in my twenties. Well, 10 years later I realized, gosh, I want to write a resource for. For women who feel like a, there are experiencing quarter-life crisis and they wish they had a mentor or be experiencing a failure, failure to launch. And so the book, how to have your life not set. The secret is that it's actually based out of the book of Ruth and people don't even realize it.


So even just reading the book, they're reading 70% of the entire book of Ruth, right? It's this short book, but I broke it up into three separate sections and I really feel like Ruth could be, uh, this book could be a manual, a playbook base of the lifetimes of Ruth Naomi to teach us how to live a life that doesn't suck.


So it's broken up into three sections. First one is faith and spiritual. The second is dating and relationships. And third is adulting and growing up and I take powerful principles out of the pages of Ruth and apply it to our life today. And so, um, I, I love that book. I transformed my life. And so this book is an homage to the wisdom of these two women and the mentors that I wish I had, but never had, and now want to be for people who read the book.


That is awesome. And I think it's what people need to hear too, in a space where they might feel isolated or that they don't have quote, unquote access to a mentor is like, I love in all of the things that you bring to life when you storytell from the Bible is you bring them to life in this character persona, like they're sitting right here next to us, and it's not done very well often.


And so kudos to you and being able to. The humanity of the pages, you know, and, and I think that's where character comes into play. And also probably your dad had a lot to do with that. I'm curious, as you stepped into pastoring from a church, you know, has you and your husband have done, and it wasn't your dad's church?


I don't think I knew that or not is a whole nother. And so talk to me about like the evolution of that, because I know that there's a lot of conversation, even in certain denominations around like women being on stage. And I'm sure you've come to bat with that. So I'd love to hear just your evolution, because I have a lot of women who either want to start ministries or love to speak and they want to do that more often.


Um, and they, they fear, they have fear associated. They're lacking confidence associated to it and they want to speak boldly, but they don't always feel in that. Yeah. So I love the church. I grew up in love. My dad's church, um, really loved my love and inordinate passion for the Bible came out of sitting under his teaching for as many years as they did.


Um, I mean his old school church, it was verse by verse, chapter by chapter and line by line and book by book. And so we, with the word of God, a number of times when I was growing up, um, but it wasn't necessarily a place where women were empowered or invited. Preach from the pulpit. I never actually never saw it.


And, um, it wasn't until I met and married my husband, that my husband was just like, oh, You're a pastor and I'm like, no, I'm not. He said, tell me the things that our pastor does. So I just started listing them out. And he said, and tell me the things that you're not doing. And you just said a pastor does.


And I realized, I was like, oh yeah, but I had to really go on a journey to reconcile the logically, um, how, where I land on this. And so I started just deep diving into whether or not women. Proclaim the word of God. And I read a number of conservative books and read a number of progressive books. And I remember vividly putting them all down on my desk and having a conversation with God, because I know at one time I'm going to come face to face with my maker and I'm going to have a conversation and God almighty, he's going to say, what did you do with my son?


Jesus. And I didn't want to have to tell my maker, I didn't know. Say we want me to say, or I didn't speak out in the way that I could, or the way that you gifted me because I'm a female. And so I'm going to err, on the side of proclaiming the good news of Jesus. And if I'm wrong, I'm going to go down in a blaze of glory and lead people to the throne room of Jesus and then say, oops, if I'm wrong.


But the truth of the matter is, is that like when we started our church, we actually didn't get a whole lot of opposition because my husband on week, week, one of our church, he was like, you're going to preach the opening message because we're doing this together. And there's a lot of churches. You know us as pastors there, their co-leaders are good co-pastors but they're really not both Matt and I, we literally lead the church to gather it's super integrated.


Um, he does implementation leadership development, all direct reports, financial forecasting vision for the. I do creative. I do the Sunday morning experience and I'm, uh, oversee the preaching team. So he's, uh, he's on the preaching team as long as my, as well as myself. I'm the primary communicator. Um, but we have a number of people that we want to open the platform for young and old light and dark female and male, because we want this to feel like a picture of heaven.


And so, um, it wasn't though. It wasn't my history. It was my background. I really had to do a theological dive into what do I believe based on screen. Based on interpretation of scripture, based on historical context, cultural context commentary, and also just a conviction. God, you've given me these gifts and you're the one opening up doors.


I never sent out a card saying, Hey, have become speaker your church. I never, I never did any of that. Never ran a Facebook ad. I've never done any of that. It literally was. God was opening up these doors. And I said, okay, I will walk through every door that God opens for me. And I will unabashedly preach the gospel and believe that God has been consistently with both Matt and I, not just with the church, but then also speaking at other churches, conferences, colleges in sin God's hand move has been a, an honor and a privilege.


Eh, I I've seen it alongside you. And it's amazing to step into that space. I think one of the first times I was ever at a conference actually with you, was she speaks with Lisa TerKeurst several years ago. I was, I've gone to many of her experience. She amazing. She's so good. And I am so grateful for how she shows up.


She, she is. She's amazing. What I see so beautifully in the community of women who are connected to the holy spirit. And there's just like this sense of comradery that like, Hey, let's do this together. Let's expand the territory. Let's expand the vision and really bring women in. Speak up and write out.


And those are the two things that she speaks conference does. And so it's just really neat to see the integration of that. One of the gals that's online with us. She said something powerful that I think could, um, you could bring light too. She said that is really how I feel. She loved love, love your heart towards speaking, but she doesn't have words to say.


And what would you just encourage her with? Um, in regards to like really leaning in, is it, is it a time, is it a wound thing? Is it a messaging thing? What would you say? Well, I'd like to pry a little bit more into the story because I don't want to give misinformation, but what I'm hearing right now is her saying, I don't have words to say, and my gut I'm a feeler.


So my gut is saying, I don't want you to hold on to. Cause a lie enemy will try to keep you silence. When the Lord is saying, speak out what I have done in your life. Girl, you gotta be in your chest. You got to blink in your eye. You got to think in your head, you got some words, right? And so sometimes we're prone to say like, well, I'm waiting for this divine revelation.


What if you were just to take your personal devotional time and say, okay, spiritual living, God, what are you speaking to me today? What are the most amazing, successful and spiritual devotionals was a devotional by the, uh, by the name of Jesus calling. Uh, Sarah Cunningham is the author of. And do you want to know that's what she did.


She would do her devotions and then she would say, God, speak to me. And she wrote what she heard. And it has been a devotional that's transformed so many people's levels of spirituality. So if maybe you don't feel like you have words, I will dare you. I'll challenge you. I'll call you up to saying, God, I want to be your voice.


Peace. I'm listening to. So that's one aspect. The second aspect would be taking a look at the inventory of your life and saying, God, where have you been faithful? You probably have story upon story upon story of God's faithfulness in your life. So if God has been faithful to you, yo declare it to the world, like do not remain silent.


You're giving the enemy license to keep you silent and you need to be like, boy, bye. Get out of my way. I'm going to proclaim who God is and what he's done me. And then the third thing is, is what about the daily discipline of just writing? So one is going to be divine revelation. The X, the next is going to be the commitment to like opening your mouth and reclaiming the goodness of God.


But the third is going to be disciplined. You're like, oh, I don't have anything to say. Are you writing anything? What if you just sat down with a daily discipline said I'm going to write 500 words every single day and I'll do it easy. Right about your life. Play with fire. The book that Tamra was was referencing.


That's literally how the book came about. God had been so faithful in my life. I couldn't help but share that in the lives of others. So those three things I gave you three exercises. You have the word that was a masterclass right there. I she's over here saying thank you. You nailed it. And what you don't know about her that I do know about her is that she's actually.


Hosting her third annual event called triggered, which is all about including and introducing people to the holy spirit. And it's a beautiful experience. So it just needs the boldness. No, that she's already got it. Got it. So. Bianca. I want to give you space. If there was anything, when you were even thinking through like fit in faith, entrepreneurs, founders, innovators, trailblazers, connected to the heart of the Lord, like, what does that mean to you?


What would you speak into these people who are kind of blending business and ministry and not kind of, they are blending business and ministry because to us business is ministry and ministry is. Yeah. You know, um, as we wrap up the podcast, this is the, this is the thing I I've just been on this soap box about, especially coming out of 20, 20, 20, 21 is the power of getting back to.


I think that we grossly underestimate the power of perseverance and, um, we do not want to embrace long suffering, but to the Victor goes the spoils, the winner, isn't the one who is the shiniest and the prettiest and starts the best, the winners, the one that finishes. And I think that we're giving people license and excuse to be like, I.


And I'm here to tell you, get you a up right now and do what God's called you to do. You're gonna fall fail. You're going to fall. You're going to falter you are what biblical character that impacted culture and biblical history didn't fail falter at one point. And yet the thing that, that mark them, the thing that made them matter was their ability to get back up in spite of their obstacles in spite of their adversities.


And so. What I would love to communicate to this community of fierce females is don't stay down. You can get knocked down, but you can't get knocked out. You get back up, you might have to hobble, you might have to lamp. You might have to drag yourself, but I'm here to tell you that the there's power and perseverance, it's getting back up the discipline of saying I'm not going to stay down.


That really produces the best leadership, the best entrepreneurs and the most successful. Mm, that's so good. And I love that you mentioned laws long suffering because Galatians 5 22 is a life verse of mine. And it, you know, fruit of the spirit nobody wants right. Is a wrong suffering. And I'm like, come on Jesus.


Because if that means that I am alongside, that means I am here for a long time. And I have something to say. Right. And so do you, so do these people who are here right now, and so just bear with him. And I think if we can bear into or be alongside anyone in is God, it is a blessing. And so to, to change your language, you actually said and mentioned it earlier in the context.


Shifting your mindset towards a situation that you've been in that's been really difficult or hard and changing, even your anger towards what was going on with things like your mom or your, your Satan ex. Um, I love that so much is this understanding that we have a choice in the perspective that we bring to every single situation.


And so you can either sit underneath the rock or you can stand on top of the rock, but that is up to you. And that's a. That's an action. That's a choice. And so not letting the world dictate what is where that rock is placed and, and not hiding underneath the basket in the process, because you just brought some fire out today of just speak up and stand up.


And I love it. I'm so grateful to you and the ministry that you lead, and I want people to get connected to you. So they've got the book options here. Where else do you hang out? Are you on Instagram? The most. Yeah. Yes. Instagram, Facebook, uh, the podcast we're going there and, um, as well as sermons on YouTube forum, uh, the father's house.


So good. I'll be out in LA soon. I got to come to church with, get fired up. You guys, this is Bianca out loft. I'm so grateful to you and you guys will have all the limbs, all of this stuff in the show notes. Make sure you listen to this again. Get those three from the masterclass that she finished this with and know that she is for you, but more so importantly, she is pointing you to the big guy upstairs.


Love you, Bianca. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having.


Hey, y'all it's me again. Before you go, let's solidify the flame that was ignited within you today by sharing the spark with your own community, whether it's mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, I would love for you to take the step right now by declaring your takeaway, snap, a pic of the episode and share it on your stories or.


And you can tag me and the guest and we will surely feature you on our end, says, Hey, you might even unlock a new accountability buddy in me or them. We're totally in this together. And we appreciate the extra step taken. I would be so grateful if you even took the. Come on and give you that extra size and leave a review on iTunes for the podcast listening app that is of your choice.


I'm going to be featuring your thoughts in fact, and this will be so fun and upcoming episodes. So you'll not only hear your name on the show, but maybe even your passion project or whatever, big shout out you want me to make. So please, as a fellow writer, leave some words that I can attest to. And I can't wait to read what you have to say.


Thanks again for being a loyal listener. And I hope to meet you in person soon at one of the events that. Speaking at or hosting. And I say we, because the fit and bake team could not do this without you until next time blessings over your joy, health, wealth, and wholeness. This is a fit faith way. .

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