How to Be a Better Version of Yourself with Angus Nelson
I get the joy of hanging out with friends on the podcast, people who I know you're going to get such value from because I have a valuation exchange with them every single time we are together. This particular friend, Angus Nelson, is going to challenge you and help you draw a greater perspective on intentionality on your day-to-day routines and the things that you should be breaking down, both interior and exterior, in order to be a better version of yourself.
Things we talk about:
- Leaving a legacy
- Your energy
We talk about so many deep pieces to a human soul that are constantly stripped away and yet, because of our mind, because of our beliefs, we have an opportunity to build them up. Angus is a coach that will help you with your mindset, your heart, and your business. This conversation is sure to give you a lot to think upon. Enjoy!
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Angus Nelson is a High Performance Coach for men and Founder of the transformational lifestyle brand, Evolve Men. He helps ambitious men align their purpose, passion and profit. From addiction, divorce, narcissism and business failures, Angus has lived the talk of transformation. He’s worked with Fortune 500 executives, celebrities, and influencers to work less, gain more, and achieve what they really want in life - all while becoming more present, self-aware, and conscious. Angus has been featured in Forbes, Inc.com, HuffPost, and Aol and has spoken at brand headquarters of Walmart, Whole Foods, BMW, Coca-Cola, Disney, Hallmark, and Adobe. Angus is married with three children, living in Nashville, Tennessee. He loves all things human behavior, Green Bay Packers, and nachos.
Where to Find Angus: https://themanhoodmatrix.com
Where to Find Tamra:
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Show Notes: How to Be a Better Version of Yourself
Yeah. So sometimes I get the joy of hanging out with friends on the podcast, people who I know you're going to get such value from because I have a valuation exchange with them every single time we were together. And this particular friend, you're going to learn all about how we got to know one another, but he is someone who is going to challenge you.
He's going to help you draw a greater perspective on. On intentionality on your day-to-day routines and the things that you should be breaking down, both interior and exterior, uh, in order to be a better version of yourself in order to actually evolve. We talk about legacy here. We talk about. Energy. We talk about devotion.
We talk about so many deep pieces to a human soul that are constantly stripped away. And yet, because of our mind, because of our beliefs, we have an opportunity to build them up and he is a coach that will help you with your mindset, your hearts. Your business build a really the entirety of the human formation.
And it's because of transformation that he's underwent in his own life, hardships, heartaches, heartbreaks, right? Isn't that often how it works. Isn't that often what God wants us to do is show up in spite of, and actually show up in order to showcase. He's done magnificently in our lives. He has a really cool history that connects to my current.
And so I love that God positions people in our lives for us to be sharpened. And today it was a sharpening conversation. I told him at the end, they don't often listen back to my show just because I'm so ingrained and invested during that quality time spent. But this is one, I will be 100% going back into.
And he was preaching so many levels. It was so good. So y'all enjoy my friend, Angus Nelson, get involved with him. If you have a man specifically, specifically in your life that you want to call higher, perhaps that man is you. I would encourage you to get involved and take the manhood. Test that he has available.
He talks all about it and it's in the show notes, but leave us a review, tag us on social media. Let Angus know, uh, how much this impacted you because Lord knows it impacted me. All right. Y'all enjoy.
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Boom. I need an afternoon. Pick me up and there is no better person to do it than Angus Nelson. What's up brother. Oh my gosh. That music was fantastic. It gets you hyped right? When he gets out of your chair and as a fellow star over here, we could be dancing for you right now. If you were alive on the fit and faith pod.
Let's do Angus. It's so good to have you here, brother. It's it's been a fun year in the making of our friendship, connected through Zeller and the masterminds that he takes us on. And we were just talking offline before we jumped in about the immersive experiences that you and I both love to take people on.
And I think it's incredible what you've done and accomplished just in the short period of time of being the evolvement transformation. Style brand and high performance coach for men, but also in the longevity of your career. And so I can't wait to dive in to the backstory that got you to this place and the evolution story and the process.
So why don't you, uh, tell us a bit about yourself. Oh, wow. So to start, I came from a ministry background. My gr my degree is actually youth. And from that flash forward. And I ended up working in fortune 500 brands, running innovation association with everything from Walmart general, electric Coca-Cola BMW, 74 major brands, global brands.
And these executives that were in the room are people who have gone to the best schools, making great money. And they're. They can't stand their jobs. And while I be on calls with them, supposedly talking about digital transformation, innovation, et cetera, we'd be talking about issues in their careers and in their lives and, and kind of the workaholism as well as the fact that they're hired just to make people angry and uncomfortable because it's innovation and innovation requires change and people don't like change.
And I found that I had. And there's a long story of how it all came to be. But in that gift that led me into that led me into coaching, was like, Hey, I can actually do this. And so I started coaching on the side, did that for four years. And then finally, during the pandemic, the job that I had, that I was actually making more money coaching than I was in the day job.
Finally, let me go. And it was a divine kick in the pants that says, come on, go do this. And I didn't have any nets, any safety net in the context of a job anymore. Now I was just completely dependent on my career, uh, that had built as a coach. And like I said, I was making more money doing that than my day job.
So we just took off and now I've got my full attention and I've never looked back. Um, so entrepreneurship, you choose it. And other times it chooses you. And I think that like, it just associated to your mentorship of being in the youth realm. It's like really the childlike heart anyway, that you're still stewarding here.
Now, however many decades, we won't age you, but later, and the knowing that it actually is so paralleled, like God was preparing you. Face to sharpen people and then you just got to do it. And so I love that. He was like, yeah, he's probably not going to jump out fully. And so we'll just stop this right now.
And here you are. And I love that. It's just come full circle to that. Talk to us about knowing that you're a transformational coach and even having this experience with men and what they were needing, how you also were in this a huge transformation, so many different realms of life, um, how you can apply and create empathy in those spaces because of your.
Yeah, well, we'll back up. The first business that I opened, um, was a nonprofit youth center back on is 29 years old. And, uh, it was, uh, just to kind of set some date to it. Cause it does age, me and my righteous living. And during that season, it was a matter of, uh, me doing things for the right, you know, appearance, but not necessarily for the right reasons.
And this nonprofit youth center, um, all about, you know, arts education for young adults, we did concerts. We did poetry slams. We did jazz nights. We did, you know, concerts. And then we did a couple of festivals. And the first festival that we did, we headline with a band called train and opening up them was a band called burlap to cashmere.
And we loved to mix mainstream music with faith-based music. But we were not a Christian coffee house and that became some conflict in our community because a lot of the churches, like why don't you claim Jesus? And we're like, well, cause we just want to work with people. And I believe that anybody will talk about life over a cup of coffee.
And that was, you know, our motive. That was the way we did our. And instead we were made to feel small and less than they said were heretics. They said we were backslidden. They said we're all these ugly things. And here we were providing a very unique experience in a small town in central Wisconsin being rejected, needless to say the Christian radio station, uh, losing their support, um, was a big hit too, because at some of our bands played on their radio.
Nonetheless, or excuse me, not withstanding. I should say I spent three years as a volunteer on that Christian radio station during the morning show. And so it was a real slap in the face of, you know, what we were trying to do was not received well yet. We knew that that was what it was in our heart to do.
When I say us, it was me and my twin. We had gotten out of college and we had traveled. We've been on the mission field. We've been in five different countries. Um, I was in the Soviet union before it was a Soviet union. I left two weeks later, the tanks rolled in, I've seen thousands and thousands of people come to Christ.
I'd seen miracles and crazy radical. And now here I'm in my hometown. I rustically imagine that. Right. Except I had a very strong will and a very determined spirit, and I'm going to force my will upon this community. And so this is why I say it. Wasn't always the right reasons because now my ego is involved.
And that first festival that we did, we lost $72,000 in just that one weekend. And so my wife and I moved to my parents' house and lived in their basement for two years and slowly paid that back. Meanwhile, my wife began to resent me because I'm not carrying a real job. And why should I put all my attention in the 60, 70, 80, 90 hour work weeks in when there was little, very little appreciation or monetary, you know, return.
So I did what I do. I put my head down, I worked harder and I. I just go, I didn't know how to ask for help. I didn't go to my board. I didn't go to the community. I didn't know how to raise money properly. And so as such underneath that stress, that striving and that pain, I went to pornography and of course I'm a believer, so that doesn't feel good.
Now I'm full of shame, so I'm going to drink it away. And so I just started drinking. And then in short order, I started sleeping around and now. I've lost my business. I've gone through a divorce. My name is crap, and I didn't mention this. I was the worship leader of my dad's church. And so now I have to step down the amount of shame and pain that I was feeling during the season was immense.
And my divorce was official on December 23rd. Uh, and my, I found myself two days later on Christmas morning, all by myself. And, uh, I'm just debating how to take my life. And that's when I heard this voice that said we're not done here yet. That was the beginning of my transformation was now what God, if I can't end to here, where do I go?
And it was like one thing after the other, these things started falling in my lap. I first I was like, I'm going to go see a counselor. I am, I'm crazy. I got to figure this out. And that introduced me to this world of personal development. He said, have you read this book? Um, wild at heart by John L. And that was a book that rocked my world.
I took pages and pages and pages of notes. And then I saw some speakers that were online, um, at the time, you know, the internet wasn't that fast. Uh, so you couldn't like stream everything, but I started to like trip upon different things and then I'd be up in the mornings watching everything. Frederick price to, uh, Joel Olsteen to like what, like I'm watching all the TV preachers and I'm a Joyce Meyers and learning about brokenness and all this stuff.
And here's what I learned is I was really good at legalism. I was really good at religion, but what I didn't have was grace. And there was this guy down in Huntsville, Alabama named Jim Richards. Nobody else really knows him. He's not that famous, but he wrote a couple of books that meant something. And one of those books was coming.
It was called becoming a person you want to be. And it was all about us transform our lives from the inside, out that everything we were seeking on the outside was just like Dorothy, in the wizard of Oz, it was already inside. Click your heels, baby. There's no place like home. And I'm like, that's it. I'm putting my house on the market.
I moved to Huntsville, Alabama. I'm gonna spend one year sitting on sky, let him mentor me and. Flash-forward I met a girl, uh, got done with that year thought, well, heck, where's this going? Maybe I should stick around eight years later, we've gotten married, had a couple of kids and I was running another nonprofit.
We closed that one down, uh, during the recession in oh nine. And I became a stay at home dad for three years. And now in those three years, it's like I had to go through all the identity stuff. Like who am I? I'm not making money. How am I supporting my family? I'm just here doing laundry and doing cooking and blah, blah, blah.
And all these male myths that we're not supposed to do. And suddenly I had an awakening, like I'm contributing very heavily to my family and I just don't give myself credit for it. And I completely understood in that moment, why some moms have some of these same identity crisis. And it's the fact that we think that we're not doing these other things when we don't understand, like we're birthing a legacy and we're actually caring for the home.
So our spouse can have a place to come home to that we get to operate out of this strength of fortitude that doesn't have to be in our own efforts, but it can be something that comes from a place of abundance and source and supply. Because in that moment we get to nurture. And so as a man, that was me honing in on my internal.
And developing an inner fortitude that knowing that I matter and I'm enough not because of what I do because of who I am. And then that shifted. I'm like, you know what, I'm going to run this like a business. I've got customers who, when they don't get what they want, they let me know. They're very finicky and there is a certain amount of scheduling I have to do throughout my day to get laundry done and food done and get the kids to their naps and get them fed.
And Dakota, three years after this, my wife working her day job is kind of burning out. She's literally getting sick. She's literally like breaking down physically. It's just, you have to go back to, we have to switch. I can't do this anymore. Meanwhile, she's also broken hearted everyday. She goes to work when she can't be with her.
I've been out of the work industry now for three years and I have to get back in, how am I going to do this? And grace doors opened. I said, what should I do? My brother, my identical twin brother come back around. He's at south by Southwest in Austin, Texas at a tech conference. Yes. There's music and film there if you're familiar with it, but there's a tech part of it.
And I show up because I'm talking about dad. Because I had written a blog about fatherhood doesn't exist anymore. You're not going to find it. Um, and, uh, I, during the day, went to all the dad blogging stuff and in the evenings, my brother dragged me to all the tech parties and we played pranks on all the big guys from Gary Vaynerchuk and, uh, Chris Brogan and all these different Brian Sally's just name, drop name, drop.
They're all my brother's friends. He'd become the head of social for this small company called Salesforce. And he knew everybody. And in that season, as we're playing pranks on all these people, cause I would pretend to be him and walk up and they'd be like, what the what? And one of those guys, I became really good friends with a guy named Jeremiah yang.
A year later, he started a new company. He needs a people, person, someone who can build communities and it gave me. And suddenly I'm running this fortune 500 brand innovation association. I'm drinking from a fire hose every night. I'm reading everything. I can about a peer to peer space, everything from Uber, Airbnb, all that was coming online, blockchain cryptocurrency, I'm learning about, uh, 3d printing.
I'm learning about all these different things, autonomous vehicles blah-blah-blah and dealing with people who are making way more money than. And I could not even dream of making that much money. So I was going through a lot of identity issues in that as well only to realize like the goods that I had, the perspective that I had of perseverance of tenacity, uh, resilience, like all the things that I had gone through had prepared me flash forward.
Uh, one of the guys from that association was breaking off to start a new company, asked me if I wanted to come. I'm like I've been here three years time for my career to move forward. Let's do this. Five of us started a company called brain trust partners, all focused on big brands. We're all consultants.
I'm going to focus on the future of work and they've all got their spots. One of the guys was the head of social at, uh, um, uh, Chevrolet and GM. The other one was ahead of comms, uh, at, uh, Ford motor companies. And another guy was head of customer service at, uh, Comcast. And another guy was all big and data analytics and then myself.
Wow. It's great on paper. Um, but sales cycle was super long. Uh, these guys all have corporate backgrounds, so they're, they're used to getting paid well and, uh, that's a lot of miles to feed. So. They lived off their 401ks while we're getting this company off the ground. I burned through savings very quickly, not having a big fat 401k.
And now I'm living on my credit cards. And in this ambition, I'm now 50 grand in debt. And now what in a now I had to come home and tell my wife, like we've got to sell our house. And that was a really hard conversation. And now with. And so we fix up the house, we sold it, we made some cash. Cool. Paid off all the debt, put a little bit away for a down payment for the next house.
And instead moved to a two bedroom apartment and regrouped. And so the four of us and our big fat dog Nash, he's a big old labradoodle. We moved into two bedroom part apartment, and I went all in on mindset. And I said, I've got some issues here to sort out. I've got to learn about. Money, how to manage money, how to think about money, how to think about that.
Number two, how to assert influence and power. And then how did you see myself? And I went all in on these areas and I'm reading books after books, I'm listening to all these podcasts. I got an opportunity to work at a job that, um, was at an agency. A friend of mine needed some help. So I did sales for him doing B2B marketing and sales.
But the whole time I started building my coaching. And that just built up and built up. I did a stint in influencer marketing and some of these other pieces. And so my career at that point started taking real focus. It was like the day-to-day staff was nothing more than a bridge. And I was less inclined to be concerned about what was happening in my day to day, as much as I was like growing, growing.
So I'm coaching people on my team. And then I started picking up clients. I started learning how to do social marketing, how to write copy that was organic, and that would attract my ideal clients. And then I jump into direct messages and start having conversations with people and then finding out where they're at and dudes are not the best at asking for help.
And so, and you know, a lot of learning about how to reach a man from a place of power. And having a man feel like when you come to him, you're not saying, Hey, I hear you're broken. I hear you suck. I hear you're you're needy. That's never going to move a man. But instead, like my whole premise is about reminding powerful men.
Just how powerful they truly. That's my story. Holy moly. And now, you know why he's going to be a keynote at grow for God selfless, shameless plug. Good Angus. I mean, there is bits and pieces of that, that I hadn't even heard yet. And to hear it all in like that sequential order, you know, so often people see where we are.
Side of that transformation and they poke and they pride and they're curious, and they might feel their own sense of shame or comparison or guilt towards not being where they are. Right. Why they're not measuring up to the man that Angus is. And yet. The fact that man was being sharpened and shapen and sanctified as you were willing to surrender.
And also knowing that sometimes those moments of surrender were things that got handed to you, um, in a, not so pretty, you know, package. Um, but that you were always willing to go the. Speak to resilience, speak to that idea of developing the mind and letting go of the control factor and the titles and the labels.
I specifically love the stay-at-home dad stint, mainly because I know what it felt like. As a stay at home mom for three years, same duration of time and going into networking events with my husband, or even just gathering within the community and people, what do you do? And right. Like feeling shame towards the fact that I was about to say, oh, I'm just home with my kid.
And isn't that like the greatest job ever, isn't that the biggest responsibility ever. And so first off, just thank you for your vulnerability. I think that alone is something that is a, a huge factor to how you show men, how they are actually standing in their strength when they have that ability to be present and conscious and aware.
Uh, and also just the, the mountains that you're going to help move for relationship. Marriages, uh, even businesses and the missions of those businesses, because the men are going to have and women, I mean, it moves me every time you talk is, is what we can do with what we've been gifted. Um, but that it does take the energy and the effort that we have to put in to get there.
Um, so thank you. Yeah, my pleasure. And thanks for the accolades. You know, so much of this, we over spiritualize to say, Hey God, show me one way to do this. You know, I'm just waiting for, you know, a sign and I'm gonna, you know, wait until God gives me that green light. And what I've learned is God gave us nothing but green lights and we're afraid of our own.
We're afraid of who God has made us to be. When he said that he wants to do exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask, think dream or dare. Imagine it's us who love to play. And it's love it's us, who likes to like create excuses as to why we can't step out and do those unctions that God is kind of bleeding into us and he's like pulling on us and pulling on us and pulling us like, you know, I've got this for you.
Come on, come on, come on. And it was, uh, Eugene Peterson, uh, in, in the message Bible. There's this one section, I can't remember the exact quote, but he talks about us being like a small child before our father says what's next. This level of expectation to understand that God has for you. He is not against you in everything that you've gone through has prepared you for what God is preparing for you.
And therefore life is always happening for you and it's not happening against you. And when something happens in your life, don't go say, oh, there must be this in my life. Or there must be that in my life. I must've missed it. You've never missed it because God always redeems every opportunity you allow him.
And when we go to that place of shame and we go to that place of pain because of what we've done, we start to put ourselves in this performance mentality is that God can only do this. If I do that, if I pray, if I fast, if I give, if I, this, if I, that in our whole Christian theology, oftentimes within the church has transcended into this place of performance based Christianity preach that.
And that's why so many people are really having challenges with the church in this day and age. My brother-in-law he's a pastor and, um, he's actually coming on board with evolve, man, he's gonna be my senior. And so as this company is scaling, I'm bringing on somebody who like knows some different perspectives on this.
And that's one of the things he shared is his heart breaks for this system that we've created, even within our own community. That is actually hindering people and particularly in my art case men, but I believe absolutely for women as well, creating these frameworks of complexity that keep us as less than.
Instead of understanding that God who is for you, the God who created the universe and said, let there be in. It was. And now the universe has been expanding with light and in this law of expansion, the same way the sun shines and the grass grows, the wind blows. There's this place where everything's going to expand.
I can leave my backyard for a number of months. And if I go back there, it's going to turn into a stinking jungle. I can lay down asphalt and over a period of time, grass will start punching up through. Yeah, I can do all these things. And yet earth in and the universe is made to expand. It wants to grow how much more are we who are born in his image, who he came and dwelled in us to call home, wants to see expansion from our lives in how we live.
That we would be that city on a hill that cannot be hid. That when people see us, they say what's different about you, not your. Not your antagonist, not your judgment, not the power of your disdain, but the power of your love, the power of your light and the power of your world. Wealth creation. That abundance lives in you.
That's the God nature you said is the goodness of God that hurt. That turns men's hearts to repentance, not the criticalness, not the judgment, not that other BS. No. It's love it's light. My story. I want to make contagious because so many of us have gone through stuff and we live in shadows. So many people we want to put on a front that everything's cool.
And copesthetic when we go into Sunday church and we're like, everything's hunky Dory, gory. Be like, no, it's like, we're all going through stuff. And we're equipped to help one another that when we can show ourselves vulnerable, we give others permission to do the same. And from that comes. Now we have support.
Now we have relief. Now we have freedom and we have Liberty. And from that. Pastor Angus, holy cow, all you'd be running around the room after this is so good.
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Go to www.fit in faith, media.com. Again, that's fit in faith, media.com. Book your call. If you're a founder, an innovator, a trailblazer or a wannabe, we can help you get there. Let's do it. I just watched, um, pastor Mike Todd, um, do, uh, something you put out on the internet and it was him talking about the one step and it was, uh, him showcasing.
I'm such a visual learner. I love to express when I'm speaking as well on stage, he has a treadmill without the treadmill. Of holster area. And he's talking about how God is just asking us to step and that one step then of course, like teleport had transported him so quickly into what God had planned for him.
And yet at the same time, a lot of us are walking backwards on the treadmill just against it, because it's not exactly how we thought it would be. It's not in the timing that we wanted it to be. It's not with the people that we wanted it to. We don't have all the things ready yet. And therefore we can't go to that destination.
Right. And so I'm just thinking of so many people who are not even bold enough to take the step, let alone walking backwards. They're in that shadow in that place, in that dark space, right before they have that opportunity, they are still breathing they've yet to take their life that we both stood in suicidal ideation and.
No, that there has to be something more and they're standing here and from a women's perspective, it's very much like, let me get ready. Let me make sure I look perfect. Right. And then I'll be prepared to take that step. Even in motherhood, even in marriage, like we're always trying to create the perfect case scenario, take the pictures, get the right thing.
Where's the highlight reel. Right. And then that one. He can morph it all into something totally different. And he says in the process of that transformation, that you don't have to have any of those things that the riches in glory that we so eagerly seek are only in him, not in the shadows and yet people, especially people in men that you're dealing with, they are thinking that everything that they have in their capacity from a materialistic perspective is the thing they're intended to have achieved.
And yet they have it and they're still standing there void. Talk to us through like that consumerism materialism, all of the false narratives that have been presented to us, even from childhood of this is success. And yet success is so much different. Yeah. Uh, I love this. Um, so we have been led to believe that, uh, you know, money is, is evil and scripture actually says is the love of money.
So it's this place of greed. It's the place of money over people, money over X and Y. And we don't understand that some of our thinking the way that we perceive things are actually programming our experience. And so in the stuff that I do with, with my clients, I take them through this understanding of our psychology of which God gave us, which is a magic gift.
And so few of us actually use it. And so I want you to think of your brain kind of like a computer in a you're like good data in bad data or good data in good data, out bad data in bad data. And so whatever you're putting into what you're hearing up, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word. Hello.
Let's find some, some symmetry here and you start to dwell on that. Meditate on my word day and night. Oh, oh. So this kind of makes sense. All right. So I started thinking about them. My brain loves to create validation. So as I'm thinking about it, I start to believe whatever it is I put in my mind. And now my belief starts to radiate around this sense of self and how I see me as you see yourself.
So are you. And so in that place, now my, my life, my brain starts to create or attract the experiences, the relationships and the opportunities that reflect the way I see me. So however you see yourself becomes, uh, uh, equilibrium with your experience and vice versa, because your experience is always going to reflect your belief.
Beliefs will create behaviors. Behaviors will create expanse. So that's kind of like the context and now we're going to get just a little bit deeper. Let me dial you back in faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen. So if you were to believe something inside of you and then you speak those things that are not as though they are suddenly, you can make really powerful things happen.
The problem is we've all listened to so many other voices of obligation and performance. About what we should have, what we shouldn't have our place of comparison. Going back to your question, I have to have a fluent job. I have to have all this money. I have to have this, you know, rolls Royce and all these like 2.5 kids and ducted that's done because I don't have those things.
Then I must be less than, and you've chosen that as a belief. And now you believe that you are less than an operating and lack. And therefore now your life continues to reflect lack, frustration, anxiety, sadness, criticalness, judgment, all of those things are a product of what you believe about you. So when now you're experiencing it, we want to say that the world is broken.
No, your beliefs are. Your creating your own reality. And the power of God is the power of dominion, authority, glory, and power. And you walk into a room and assert yourself as who he made you to be. So you've got to come from a place of supply, a place of source, a place of abundance. And that's the belief system that you take in.
You start listening to all of these things. You start to believe these things, you start to understand that's who you are. That's your real true self. And now your experience begins to reflect the same and people would say, oh, but that sounds so hard. I guess that sounds like it's going to take forever.
No, it's instantaneous. The way that you get to where you want to go faster is by aligning your beliefs in agreement with who he says you are, and he will do it faster and he will do it easier than you ever thought possible. And so, if you're looking at your job, if you're looking at your marriage, if you're looking at the problems in your life and you focus on the problems, you will only get more problems.
And I'm not saying you're like, Completely ignoring or being, you know, absent-minded about the stuff you deal with, the real things, but your level of belief of your influence on those things. You're not a victim, but you're a Victor that you have authority over your part to play that you see yourself as no longer, um, being subject to their abuse.
But rather you can have boundaries like these, all of a sudden become these beliefs. And now your life goes to attract or create a whole higher level of relationships, experiences, and opportunities. You'll get the jobs that other people didn't get offered. You'll get the conversations with other people.
Didn't have, you'll get the promotion, you'll get the finances, you'll get the wealth creation. You'll get all these different things he wants to add on to you, but you got to let. And we don't realize the level of interplay that we are in all of this. And it's this place called ironically faith be fit in faith.
That's what this whole thing's about. Right? Come on. So we're saying, well, when this happens, then I'll do that. If that happens, then I'll do that. No, there's none of that. It's like, what do you want? The spice girl has challenged you back in the nineties. Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.
And you get clear on that. Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things. I'd see, you get really clear on the desire. Now my wilds mob be feel with seeing my wants mopping defense might be selfish. I don't know why I went to a Southern accent while you're with. Like, if you think that, then you better check your heart.
Yeah. Because that is a product of your belief. You believe that if you have money, you're going to be evil. If you believe that you're gay, these things, that your corrupt, if you believe that, then of course that's because there's some level on you that believes about you, that you are corrupt, you are broken, you don't deserve, you're not worthy and you don't have what it takes.
So that's the work for you is to change that belief. Is that you do deserve you're worthy, you're approved, you're accepted you're enough and you have what it takes and that will transform how you see you and therefore transform how you become an interplay with the world. Man Angus, I knew you're a fire, but this is like too much heat.
I should've worn a tank top. This is good. I think the word that kept coming to me as I was listening to you, even though evolvement is, you know, the seal to what it is that you do on many levels. And obviously I want you to get briefly into manhood matrix as well, because it's just a brilliant concept.
Um, but is that. Spansion and I kept seeing these men and even women walking into a room in the belief system of what was, and the belief system of what feels like a weight versus the belief system of confidence and the belief system that all of these things are coming unto you in the future, based on this next step and the expansion quality that happens when I see someone who's standing in the confidence, of course, rooted in the word.
And the truth of what this is associated to versus ego, but understanding that confidence associated to these, this belief is what gives people that next ability to step into, and also the understanding that their dreams and the expansion of what they see, whether envision, whether in hope, whether in faith, isn't something that they feel fully equipped to step in.
And there's the gap between faith and fear. There's the gap where God stands up and he gets the glory of your story associated to that. So talk to us through, from a confidence perspective, all of the equipping that you just laid out, how does confidence play in from your practice? Do you want my real opinion?
You want my churchy opinion only your real opinion. That's what you've gotten for us so far. I kind of set this up. Okay. Cause I want you to know that I believe from a churchy perspective, we have eliminating people have their personal value and their confidence because we tell him your sinner saved by grace immediately makes you feel less than that's.
Because you're redeemed, you're made whole, the old things are passed away. All things have become new. At what point are you still grasping onto the old, if your identity is in-center than grass sinner, but if your identity is in wholeness, salvation, power, glory, divinity, like let's, let's set our star.
Let's just set the record straight. I am Christ incarnate. All that he is is all that I am. He and me can do all things. So therefore let's change our vernacular and our perspective of who we really are because your level of confidence is based by your level of belief. That's this whole thing we've been talking about.
And therefore, when we look at the constructs of having, like, if you're in, in a unhealthy church environment where leadership must dictate and or control, or must require your, their opinion on every choice you make. You're already put at, um, a place of second guessing, like maybe, I don't know. What's good for me.
Maybe. I don't know the best thing for me. Maybe I might make a choice out of my own selfishness. Maybe I might make a, a choice out of my own, uh, narcissism, my own faults, my own sin, my own desires, my own darkness. So good Ruddick. You less. If you're in an unhealthy church, you need to go find another fellowship where you can be around people who see you in this place of power and see you in this place of wholeness and victory.
So the first thing I say, when people say confidence is like Jack, you'll hot, like confidence is an expression of knowing your word. And so in our culture as an America. So let me transcend outside of the church walls walls. And we look at the majority of media and media is, is all about marketing and it can easily make you feel less than because marketing is always trying to agitate your desire.
Oh, you have this car, but wouldn't you like to have this car? This one's new. Oh, well, that's beautiful. Hey, your car doesn't have this. This does have this. Oh, well maybe I should get that. You look at these dresses, look at these makeup, look at this, you know, whatever, like all of the marketing is built to have a desire and say, ultimately, I don't have that thing.
And so now I feel less than, and so that culture, you know, kind of CPM. And then we, we go to the next piece in our companies when we see ourselves as employees, and now we have to get picked. You want to see yourself as you know, um, wanting to get this opportunity or that opportunity. We're always sitting around waiting for someone to choose us.
And now we can become the victims. I'm a victim because somebody hasn't chosen me for this. I'm a victim because someone hasn't given me the opportunity to go to college, I'm a victim because, um, someone hasn't given me opportunity to learn and to grow in a different environment and all these things, we kind of take a look at from a perspective of victim hood.
Somebody didn't pick me again. If his nature is in you, why are you waiting for someone else to pick you when the only one that matters already did? So why don't you just agree with. I believe it's in Colossians where it says the mystery of the gospel is this Christ in you, the hope of glory, that word glory is a word called doxa and it translates view and opinion.
So therefore the mystery of the gospel is this Christ in you, the hope of God's view and opinion. What if you had that same view and opinion of him or that he has. That everything that God is, is everything that I am. And so from this place, now my back goes up straight, my chin hill high, my shoulders go back and look,
I walk into a room without a 40 hours. Right. And so this whole confidence thing is such a lie. Yes. I started before in this conversation about performance mentality. We're also putting our level of value on a performance around us. Oh, someone else needs to pick me for me to feel valuable, which is why I love entrepreneurship.
Entrepreneurship is like picking yourself now, should everybody do that? I'm not, everybody's wired for it. I guarantee you not everybody's wired, right? There's no bigger. Mine mind game. I would use more curse words, right. And of course we're working with dudes, but it's like nothing will challenge your level of belief, the fears, um, the insecurities like entrepreneurship, and I call it the infinity.
Yeah. It's because in that world, it's always consistently challenging you to go to higher levels. Not everybody has to be an entrepreneur. You can work it into the company and still operate from this place of supply and source and abundance. And that's why we don't have enough quality, high caliber people in.
Politics or some of these more legal things. Cause we're like, ah, if you're really going to love Jesus, you need to be on the mission field. Like, no,
no. Why are you traveling to some foreign country and living in poverty with a victim mentality is your idea of godly. I think this should be an incredible entrepreneur that there's creating source and supply through their own business means that they don't need to ask other people for money. I've lived the same thing for church leadership.
That churches should be the number one catalyst of business, um, uh, birthing and, and greenhouse. They should be catalyst of companies. They should be the VCs of the world of venture capitals. So good. Why is the church not holed into building business and creating wealth? It's the most ridiculous thing in my world and the way I see how things should be.
And yet if you're listening to this, you don't have to settle for that. You can choose to live differently and mine. I'm not coming against these people and saying they're dumb, they're ignorant. They're urged to me. They're they're stupid or whatever. Like, uh, I'm just saying they're ignorant. They just don't know.
They don't know. There's another way. And that's why we're having this conversation. And I guarantee you, there are more people than just me having this conversation. Oh yeah. There is a movement of people who. I understand this perspective that there is something different. There's something more, and that's our invitation.
God opened my eyes, open my eyes to see who I can be opened my eyes to see through a different lens. Bring me the right people. The right books helped me to understand money and wealth creation. Help me understand favor and influence, and having me assert myself into the world, help me understand. And how to understand from this place of abundance, overflow, source and supply, like, let that be your heart cry.
Let God open up, increase in your world that nobody else can do it. My guess is you have a very individual. That's going to work for you that may not follow my plan may not follow Tamra's plan. It's not going to follow anybody. It's going to follow a plan. That's uniquely qualified for you. And at times it's scary.
And at times it freaks you out and every time you face a fear, no, this, uh, Joseph Campbell said this, that in the cave, you fear to enter lies the treasure that you seek. And therefore, every time you run into something that feels like you're afraid, no, that that's actually an excitement for something. And it's an invitation for you to be challenged and changed.
And if you'll yield, if you'll lean into it, your life will never be.
I feel like I should just end the show right here, but I have to give people an opportunity to discover you, make sure if they haven't already gotten connected, how they can do that. Angus, this was transformative. Um, I actually don't ever listen back to my show and I cannot wait to listen back to this.
And so thank you for just sharing your heart and truth and, you know, sadly. I feel like a lot of people have been in that space of church hurt. And that actually has catapulted them into becoming the church. And that I feel is who you are, it's who you exude yourself as every single day, because God just shows up in, in, through.
And so I know what you're doing is mission or work, and it is in the field of the hard knocks and, uh, you're creating opportunity for people to transform and transcend. And it's pretty amazing. And so I'm grateful to know. Well, thanks. Um, so I'll tell you real quick, like, um, here's what I do. So I work with men.
I call out their greatness and I work with everything from executives to CEOs, to startup founders. Uh, my whole goal is to help them work through life's squeeze. Every one of them is in a place of transition. Every one of them is dealing with either a threshold financially, a threshold with their, their team development, or perhaps it's something in their marriage or their family.
But some way, somehow they've got to this place where there's got to be more and I help them bridge that gap. I have one client that came to me from the church. Who was a former executive at a really large megachurch and, um, had left the church and got into car dealership. He was the running the finances for this car dealership.
He was making good money. He's making 200 grand a year, but he knew he was. And he had a business degree. He wanted to get into coaching and he was like, I don't know how I'd known this guy for years. And he just reached out to me and we started working together. We started in February and by October he left that job in that first year, he replaced his entire $200,000 a year career, just coaching and making a significant impact.
Like never before I've got clients, who've run a hundred million dollar tech companies. I have clients who, um, you know, basically run, uh, what do you call it? Um, Uh, franchise, you know, franchise owners, like I've got the whole gamut. And my favorite thing to say to them is what is possible will happen faster and easier than you ever thought.
And in 90 days they see an absolute transformation. So part of this is built on what we call the manhood matrix. And I won't go into all of that, but I will tell you this, I have a way for you to experience the manhood matrix simply by answer answering seven questions, the seven most powerful questions that successful men ask themselves.
And you can find firstname.lastname@example.org and you take those seven questions and once you answer them, you cannot unsee what. Because they're going to ask hard questions for you to see the challenges in your life and what will you do to change them. And that's the invitation. And from there, you'll get an invitation to come into.
Um, the manhood matrix masterclass. Um, the seven questions are free, but if you want the master class, I think is like 37 bucks, and I'll take you through this entire understanding of a framework that aligns your life to the light inside the intuition that's inside of that. That voice is speaking to you to hurries for a reason.
And so you can find out more about that. If you want to find more out about me, you can simply email@example.com. Thank you so much Tamra for being able to come here and. Such a gift rather, thank you for your time and your energy and your light. We love you at the fit and bait podcast. I'll come back next time and make sure you get in touch with Angus.
And if you know any dudes send them his way. Cause I know we've got lots of men on this show too, but uh, lots of wives. So send it, send my husband is coming your way. Let's just put it that way. Thanks. Thanks. Love. See you later. You bet.
Hey, y'all it's me again. Before you go, let's solidify the flame that was ignited within you today by sharing the spark with your own community, whether it's mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually, I would love for you to take the step right now by declaring your takeaway, snap, a pic of the episode and share it on your stories.
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This is a fit faith way. .