Heart & Sole; Two journeys one mission – With Kathryn Benko & Chelsea (Allegra) Hol
Today’s podcast has two shared heartbeats that have blended together into one mission and emerged into a podcast of their own. The Heart & Sole Podcast (spelt SOLE like the shoe instead of your traditional first emotional soul response brings together women around fitness and the concept of shameless living). Kathryn and Chelsea, the two show hosts and pursuers of their own expansive passions are joining us today as we dive deeper into their personal testimonies and exciting entrepreneurial journeys.
Kathryn is the owner and the head trainer and community builder of the Sole Fitness health experience and Chelsea is a ridiculously talented photographer. Both live in Wilmington VA! Which you may remember I just visited and hosted my girl @jenna on the recent podcast about her cancer story. I don’t know what God is doing but that neck of the country is surely breeding some BEAUTIES at a deep sole level – pun fully intended.
These two talents have calming yet vibrant stories that allow you to feel truly comfortable in your own skin. To the point that when recorded my chat with them for their podcast I was a bit of a blubbering mess.
I hope you’ll jump over to their podcast and subscribe and review just like you will this one – as it is truly cut from the same Jesus cloth!
Their Podcast Together! Heart & Sole Podcast
Chelsea Allegra Hollis
Show Notes: Two Journeys, One Mission
0 S1: Okay, my name is Tamar Andres, I’m your fit and big podcast, so I was gonna come to me here, just me, no words, no scripts, no interest, no Astros. I love authenticity, I hope to breath vulnerability, and I usually do this alongside another dream or mover shaker, entrepreneur has… Anita is what I love to call them, if you’re a dude, then a dude, but I am loving just coming together in community with other people to share their high and those stories, to share their journeys to come back because I believe ultimately that’s where God would have us, you would have us on the mountain top, and even though we learn as Hun in the pit and in the valley, Godavari now, especially in this season of life, in this type of our culture to shine. And so here I am, I want to teach you how to shine, I wanna be alongside you when you get your glow, I wanna catapult you into your calling, whatever that is, so this isn’t a fitness podcast, this is not a religious banter that we thesis all day long… And this is not just about nutrition or health or wealth, so I like some green…
01:12 S1: And I know you do too, it’s not okay for us to not be okay with talking about all of these things, and he said, You guys, we don’t… Nina, a Mental Health Paphos, we don’t just need a fitness podcast, who don’t just need a religious spiritual protest, it needs to Git, this is what fit and things all about… It’s all about preeminent connectivity, it’s about suing your wholeness and blaming it over your life and over the lives of the loved one that you have around you in your community, so… Thank you pursuing in. I would love to get to know you more, you can like or you subscribe, whatever it is, send me an email, defeat an amazing team alongside me, but you guys are gonna beat for now, so enjoy, I’m so Tom to have a funky conversation with you is what I love to call up, don’t have my copy right now, but I have it in my system, as you can see, all the… Let’s do this together and I keep going from your group. Welcome, welcome. We are live for another recording of the fit and faith Podcast, and I am so pumped to be joining you with two other guests versus just one, which is a special treat for me and I believe a special treat for you.
02:34 S1: They are used to being together and they’ll explain why that is here shortly, but I hope I’m finding everyone well and at home and not going out of their bananas mind with everything that’s going on with this quarantine, but I really hope that you have an opportunity to just tune in, relax a bit, maybe grab some lunch and enjoy this conversation, I’m really pump to give you an opportunity to get to know these gals and how we randomly virtually connected and in this virtual world that we’re living in now, what better way to kinda connect with other people, we’ve got some girls are already on watching, so you guys take the floor, kinda introduce yourselves, tell us a bit about you individually and then how collectively you guys are in a relationship partnerships. Yes, I love all of it. As amazing. So good, we have so much connectivity in your story line, so we’ll have to dive into that in a little bit once Chelsea and introduces ourself. I allow the area, moved away for a little while to start our careers and then ended up coming back, which is why Catherine and I connected. I actually went to school for exercise science and worked full-time in the fitness industry for several years.
05:52 S1: I loved it. I kinda summed my own health and wellness journey through the educational part of it, and that was really the first thing that tied castrated together. You need a second to… On ladies, it sounds I’m getting feedback from the people on the other end saying that they cannot hear you, so I’m trying to figure out why that would be standpoint, try taking my headphones out, thank you, Brittany for… Oh wait, she said she can hear now. Okay, so let me change something really quick, I took off my sound for NY, can you hear all of us? If we’re all talking, Chelsea, can you hear Chelsea? Hello, I can try to take my mic out… Let’s see, I’m gonna do one more thing. It was the second person. I can’t hear you guys now, can I hear Chelsea? Can you say something? Yeah, I hear. Okay, hopefully they can hear… She’s giving us feedback. Which is amazing. Alright, so yes. Okay, she’s good to go. Okay, so we didn’t get to hear any of your introduction, Katherine, so we’re gonna reset resort back once they share. Okay, awesome. No worries.
07:09 S2: So trying to pick up where I left off or… No.
07:11 S1: Just… Yeah, just go from the get-
07:14 S2: Go. So wait, start over? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Chelsea Hollis moved to North Wilmington, North Carolina a little under two years ago. When Catherine and I met, I went to school here and started my husband, and we just loved being by the ocean and this area, the community here, but ultimately there wasn’t really any opportunity post college when we were here, so we moved away and ended up coming back I went to school for exercise science or feeling, so I spent a lot of time in the industry, working full-time at a corporation for several years, and ultimately ended up deciding that that wasn’t really the path that I wanted to be on anymore, even though I still love fitness. I really found my creative outlet through photography and ended up pursuing that this one day, it was my goal to have flexibility to work from home when I became a mom one day, and so I kinda was still juggling both of those career paths when we only got here, and we can get into how those things cross-post awesome. That’s a whole another story. But now I own a full-time wedding and portrait photography business called Chelsea, like the photography.
08:34 S2: So I specialize in weddings. Which right now, it’s not the best thing in the world, it’s been a little stressful. Yeah, I still teach some yoga classes on the side here, and cantor and I started the Heart and Soul podcast together. I’m also a wife, and I’m currently 22 weeks pregnant with our first tampico graduation.
09:03 S1: That so fun. Oh yeah, that’s gonna add a whole another element to your… Everything. Yeah, that may be… I’m always gonna be spotted, be like he has two moms with you and Catherine. I know, I bet. That’s exciting as a whole life transition. Alright, so Kathleen, I want you to kinda re-share a little bit because people didn’t get to hear and I wanna make sure that they’re all on the same page.
09:27 S2: Yeah, no problem, I’m gathering. I own a visits called Soul fitness, it is a health and fitness women’s group only, so I have a past with eating disorders and a lot of body image issues, a lot of disordered eating, a using exercise, and really having a core relationship with food in general, so… Once I begin in the journey of healing from that, I found that community was key for healing and also not giving up things that we love, and I loved fitness, and I didn’t wanna have to give that up, so I knew I needed to mold it into a more healthy routine for my own mindset, so I came and moved to Molino from Texas six years ago, and when I moved here, I kind of considered it my fresh start to start that healing process, and I started just a free group for women to work out together where we both moved our bodies and challenging ways, but also practice this idea of shameless living, which is basically the point of same was living is when you share your story, then darkness really can’t live there. And it kinda connects people and it brings vulnerability, it makes Viera Biltmore.
10:49 S2: What’s the word? Present. And just every day conversation. So started that and really trying to just exercise from a place of loving the skin that you’re already in instead of trying to mold it into something that society tells you you should look like, so it’s now turned into a full-time business. We do group workouts, online exercises or an app, and we also do personal training and… Yes, that’s kind of what I do, who I am, I’m a wife and I have a Golden doodle, Amber, who I love. I really love Taylor switch more than most people, and I love red wine and living by the beach. That’s awesome.
11:35 S1: That’s so good. So, so random that I feel like God aligned situations and conversations, and I pack things on without you understanding what it could possibly be, and yesterday I had a live monthly Sister Sister show that I do with one of my girlfriends of faith as well, and the whole conversation was around confidence, and so we did a lot of conversation around my individual story with body image issues and lack of confidence, and how I mast for many years with many different issues, fitness being one of them, and so it’s really cool that your story and my story has a lot of alignment. And one of the gals listening now says that it really resonates with her on a deep level, your story, so I think that vulnerability piece is such an integral part of who God intended for us to be, and yet we’re so often used to holding mass or carrying Naser wearing mask that we don’t even sometimes realize that we are planned… As a business coach, I’ve really had that at play when coaching women, which is really out of the norm for entrepreneurs, because they’re usually coming to the table just in that specific mindset and not wearing all of the other hats that they are, just like you guys said this is what I do, but I’m also a white, a soon-to be mom.
13:01 S1: This is another passion that I have… This is another passion. So whenever I bring people to the table around coaching, whether virtually or in person, it’s always like, Hey, I wanna know all parts of who you are, because I feel like that’s how you’re gonna be most successful, so I love that both of you guys have really honed in on who that is for you, so that you can present that to the world. So I love Chelsea, you combine these two things that are passion points for you, and now you can say, Hey, here’s me as a package, as well as with the podcast piece being integrated into that
13:36 S2: Easier. I think that my story, a body image issue. Obviously, connect all women. I mean, I think whether you struggled with… And missiles and I kinda connected to in the beginning, your fitness is, I think whether you struggle with an eating disorder or not, like You’re a woman, and so you are kind of more in greeting to pick apart your body, not just be not… ’cause you want to, but because it’s kind of being pushed down on our roads every day with what we should be looking, mini think that that is one way that Chelsea and I connected as we are both one, I think that in order to make a friend who needs to just… Let the awkward in. It’s gonna be awkward, I let it be, or word. So we were able to just connect virtually online through Instagram and be like, hey, you like fitness too, so do I… Oh, I’ve struggled with money image too, we do. Oh, I actually love Taylor Los, I’m getting married. You just have red, it’s just like bringing people into your story, any type of vulnerability is what’s gonna develop relationships, whether it’s… We can all connect on something, and I think as women as a whole, we can obviously all connect on body image, but there’s so much more to that.
14:50 S2: So great.
14:51 S1: I use the word rooted a lot in my branding and the things that I develop, because I think if we have a foundational relationships with people that are rooted in truth, then it’s such a solid foundation that if there’s something random that comes up in your relationship, whether it’s intentional or unintentional, like you can always go back to where it’s rooted, and that truth is ultimately what’s gonna keep you guys friends, what’s gonna keep you all thriving and just being in support of one another. So I love the Arthurs, tell us about your podcast, what’s it about…
15:27 S2: About these… And I had wanted to start a podcast separately, and I had Itamar time and wanted another outlet in more of a long-form content way for women to share their stories, because I found that while I was coaching these classes at soul, I was able to have the mic and teach and share what I was going through, but I also, on the other end, I wasn’t able to hear a lot of the women’s stories, so I want to start your podcast or we could interview women and talk about health and wellness from a wholeness aspect and then also just talk about women’s stories beyond that, beyond health and wellness, and so when I brought that to Chelsea, she had been thinking of the same idea, and so we’re like, Well, we’re both passionate about the same thing. People have the same… We’re both rooted in the same truth and in our faith and in how we view health and fitness, and we both are rooting for women, so we were like, Let’s do this together, that we started hearing sold it to dig into wellness, but also dig into the heart appointment as well as, so good.
16:44 S1: That’s so good. It’s such a beautiful expression of community in that because I know whatever I’m listening to podcasts of any sort, when there’s… Somebody’s like, true on the line, you are invested in listening, but you’re also invested in their success story, so it was like when you watch a movie or read a book and you’re rooting for the underdog… Right, and it’s like, Oh, we want you to succeed. So to know that you have this experience with people and giving them an opportunity as an outlet to provide hope, as a resource, it’s really, really cool
17:17 S2: To… Anything about it too, was when we initially started January 2019, we were both at this place, we were still juggling so many different things, we’re in the kind of hustle phase, if you wanna call it that, where Catherine was still working multiple jobs, I would still go on my business and working in a corporate fitness thing here, and we were collaborating on some things together, and I got to the point where people were kind of confused as to what we did, and not that we really care what people… Statute were like, Hey, what if we have this platform where we can explain a little further like, Okay, this is what we believe in, this is what we’re working towards. Here is how we can support each other through this. And the really cool thing that came out of it was obviously the community, but now we can listen back to our story, and I went full time with my business, Kathleen it, full-time with her business, so many different… Utterances from a struggle point. And like Catherine said, The biggest thing we want to share as stories of breakthrough and this idea of shameless living, so whether we have women come on and talk about their entrepreneurial journey or struggles with fitness and body image, that is the root that we continue coming back to no matter.
18:53 S2: No matter what… And part of my frustration was working in that industry, the fitness industry for so long, was this idea of it being about in that setting, and it would just Romeo badly, and we’ve had some really heated conversations on the podcast about it, And counseling was meant for being in this industry and breaking that stigma, and I’m kind of like, I wanted to get out of it, but still have a place where I can voice that make somewhere even. And so it’s been really cool to see that no matter what the topic is, everyone has that in common at some point, and we’ve really heard from so many women through reviews and email messages on an Instagram that, Hey, you’ve actually really changed my mind around the way that I view myself and my work and fitness in general, so I think as the biggest… Coolest thing that’s come out of it. Yeah, that’s
19:55 S1: Amazing. And I think something that’s not gonna go away, just because of the way that the secular world has presented it, and health and wellness, I was just saying this is also on the rise, it’s gonna continue to rise because it’s such a part of the need, like environmentally obviously, but also from the fundamental space of our well-being and the longevity of our life really, and so knowing that it’s on the rise, knowing that we don’t really have control on how the secular world is gonna share the need for that and monetize it, and so being really conscious of that from a heart space of How can we serve people best and well, and remind them on a consistent basis that how the world presents your beauty… Or you need to exercise or you need to eat right? Is very different than how God would have it and how God would have you steward your vessel, if you will, from Biblical scripture. So I love that you guys are doing that.
21:02 S2: I also think the enemy wants to attack something that we see that is good, something that we think is good, so like taking care of your body is a good analysis, a good thing, and I think that my wants to get into that and just take it one step further of like, Oh, if you’re gonna take care of your body, let me push it to this extreme or Let me add this restriction in, and it becomes skewed of like, Wait, what is healthy and what is it? Because you’ve been attacked on both friends and… 100%. I think it committees mess with you.
21:37 S1: And I think that goes to what Chelsea was saying from a vanity metric of it being an additional thing that people are doing from that space, but then also the fear and the confidence component where it’s being done and masked, whether it’s in anorexia or bulimia or any of those different forms, and they’re presenting it in like a… Here’s a new fad diet. And you’re like, Wait, no, that’s not it. And so knowing that holistic approach, and when I say holistic, it means, I think the same thing that it means to you, where it’s not just holistic in the kitchen or holistic in its exercise, but whole meaning whole or holy, holy in the sense that there’s the mind body and soul connection, that really comes into play, and I remember having that switch for myself go off when I realized that my fitness journey was more a spiritual fitness than it was a physical fitness, and I think that that’s… So as you’re saying, innately how a woman is designed and neatly how we desire, but it’s just been discombobulated, stripped down…
22:49 S2: Yeah, when the mainstream is telling you, or your whole life, if you’re being told that fitness is about physical appearance of achievement and what you look like and how much you can lift and whatever, and… Yes. Well, the technical term, that physical fitness is your endurance and your strength and your body composition and all that, it’s really sad to think that our whole is even told this one narrative. For example, there’s this ad that keeps popping up on my Instagram stories that I literally… It makes my plate every single time I see it… Catherine, you know what I’m talking about? The real one? Yeah, ever since you posted about that, I have seen it like four times, so retargeting is like this and me to check and she’s running, and it’s these big pink letters, it’s all like… For women, of course, and it says, How much do you need to run every day to lose weight fast, and then it’s got her metrics on the side of her height and her way, which are completely normal within varied, Hey, BMI range. Even though we know that’s not necessarily a good measure anyway… Right, right, right.
24:01 S2: And her like, Oh, she needs to run three miles a day, and it shows her body shrinking as she… Union, I report it every time I say it, ’cause I’m like, this right here, is what’s wrong with the world. That’s why it’s so hard for us to break down those walls in our head of what this is truly, truly about, and that is just… So I write in every single time we bring this up on the podcast because it is so frustrating, but it’s there, and to be the ones to tell you that that’s completely bogus. Yeah.
24:36 S1: So explain to me, ’cause you guys are both fairly newly married within the last year or two, is that right? Yeah, we’re coming up on two years in. Consonants, tell me about being in that phase of marriage, being in the courting phase even before that, how did this mindset like play into your relationship with your now spouse, and did he have similar perspectives or similar experiences that’s the both of you guys…
25:03 S2: That’s a really good question. I’ll preface with, I think that a lot of women actually want to change the way that their body looks, not necessarily to impress men, but to impress other women, interesting. More of like a comparison being of like, I wanna be… I wanna look like this for over, I wanna weigh less than this girl or whatever, so I think that God really timing-wise, I knew what I needed. In that, for the first part of my feeling journey, I was single and I was really trying to work on my… I was really trying to figure out how God be me, and from their love myself a little bit more. So by the time I met my husband, he really… He’s the biggest supporter of my mission in the sense that he actually started flirting with me because my friend showed him the sole Instagram and he was like, Oh, I love this because He loves Health and Fitness, and he also loves Jesus, and so he likes the idea of that coming together in a really healthy way, so he actually has always been my biggest fan, which I think ladies, if you’re listening and you’re single, it’s you wanna look for in a husband, but he really actually encouraged me to go into the fitness industry as it was something that was starting in my heart of something that I really wanted to try, but I was a little nervous, I worked in the corporate world and marketing, and when we started…
26:43 S2: Right when we started dating, three months in to dating, he talked to the gym that I worked out at without me knowing and asked like, Would you hire paper and if she likes me if she wanted to work here, and they were like, Yeah. And so he got me a job on the fitness industry and like just kind of like in a very kind way, meddle his way into my dreams. That’s awesome. So yeah, so I think that the way that he’s loved me through my body image issues is one or winding me up my worth in Christ, and that the number on the scale doesn’t matter to him, it’s good, and it shouldn’t matter to anyone else, and also camping my dreams, so really coming alongside me and being like My business coach, you’re a coach, he’s coaching me to take those next fake Steps in creating solvents, which I would not have gone full-time without him or Chelsea, probably that’s the one to people who kind of pushed me into that. So I don’t know if I answered your platoon.
27:45 S1: I think that’s amazing. How about you? Tells you what amazing how you tell a union. I think it’s good.
27:52 S2: I love that. That’s so awesome. Did I have a little bit of a different story here, Jordan and I met when I was a little under a year out of college, so I was… At the time, when we first started dating, I was working at the Duke health and setting Center as a group instructor there, and I was also all over the place doing personal training and just kind of like finding my way as a fitness professional, and eventually I landed a full-time job at a really big dream job corporation in the area when we first started dating, and at that time, I was still under this notion that, especially if you’re gonna be a finish instructor, like You better walk the walk, you better talk to the tag you better look a certain way, you should probably have a six-pack… I never was physically speaking that into myself, but it was a mindset that I kinda had because when you study and you’re studying exercise science or trying to become an instructor and no one really tells you how to view that… It’s like, Here’s the science behind it, here’s how you do it, but no one tells you how to be yourself or how to tell your clients to move or any of that.
29:13 S2: So it was really just a transformative journey along the way, it was like the longer I was in the field and working in one, the more I realized what it was actually about… What was sentient about. And so he basically just supported me in every single step of that, from coming and taking my classes to just sharing the same view points as you only have conversations about it. Even him and a male, you have some friends who fell into that path of doing competitions and starving themselves to look a certain way, and we both always just felt like I telepaths not what this is for as a movement for the radially think within the last couple of years is when really things started to shift for me, a meeting cancer, and I’m coming out of the industry and realizing what it actually means to be… To be fit. And I think, yes, a lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I’m at a very loving relationship who has never been me, feel less time for the way that I look ever, ever. So that’s never even been remotely a problem for us, so I do have him to thank for that, but I think it’s been a continuous journey, a time…
30:48 S2: It’s
30:48 S1: Beautiful. I think it’s necessary for people to know that there is a possibility of evolution in that, and I think to speak to the woman who is either single or the woman who is in a relationship or married to somebody who has that unhealthy mindset towards who… Or how they should look in the mirror and they struggle with that, and I think I’d love to unpack that a bit from your coaching mechanisms on what are the things that women can do to better themselves better their mindsets, better their heart sets, so that they can have an internal change, even beyond a measurement change, right, and that they can be empowered by the fact that they are beautifully and wonderfully made, and I’d love to just hear how you coach people through the mindset piece, the hard set piece. Yeah.
31:52 S2: Absolutely, I think that… Going back to the husband thing, one last thing is, as a husband in the scripture, they’re called to love their bride as Christ loves the church, and so crises the church without shame. Without condemnation, with freedom. With unconditional love. And so when you’re with grace so much, great. And so when you’re pairing, when you’re comparing in that to who you’re picking it as a partner for a life, you want to be treated the same with those characteristics in line. So that’s one thing that I just wanted to hone in on to. And to that directly correlates to how you will get yourself too, so Rooting yourself, like you said, you’re rooted is one of your words, rooting yourself in truth is something that seems really simple, like, Oh, I just read this piece of scripture and it’s supposed to change me from the inside out. And yes, scripture has the ability to do that, but what I think really erodes it inside of your mindset and inside of your foundation is repetition, and so taking thoughts captive every single day, reading true every single day, having accountability around you every single day, or else it’s gonna be really easy to slip back into those negative mindset, for me, it’s super easy…
33:22 S2: I mean, I’ll use the quarantine as an example, it’s super easy when I’m isolated for me to go back into disorder, thinking about food and about hybrid, especially ’cause those are my issues and about my body image, but when I’m surrounded by community, and my story is brought into the live. I’m not able to fall back into it now because so many people know, so Rooting yourself and true looks like speaking over, you’re speaking over your identity about what God says about you, so he says Like you said, You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You’re a child of God, you’re adored. He knows every hair on your head. He loves you more than the birds in the sky, he listens, he hears you, He chose you. There’s so many parts in scripture where you are presented as is this treasure to God, and so if you start looking at yourself like, Oh, I am a treasure just the way that I am, and you start to let that sink in daily. Then it eventually becomes the way that you think about your body, and it’s not an overnight thing, and I think a lot of people think when I share my story about healing from an eating disorder, that I just woke up one day and decided I’m not gonna have an eating disorder.
34:45 S2: But every day I’m healing still. And the reason I created so it’s for an extra piece of accountability because it’s so easy for me to slip back into it, so as far as tangibly goes, prayer, accountability, truth, rooting yourself in actual truth, so reading scripture or whatever you choose to believe in, whatever you believe that is true. And then also seeing yourself through the creator’s eyes, kinda tacking on to that… We’ve had this conversation a couple of times too. On the podcast of Hatteras, it’s a journey. We wish we had a Step one, do this, a tangible hard set of ideas, we don’t… We continuously hone in on the fact that, yeah, this is gonna take some time, if you felt this way for 20-plus years of your life, chances are it’s not gonna just happen overnight, so that’s one thing, and just kind of accepting that and knowing that it’s gonna take some time from a tangible standpoint, and some other things that we’ve recommended and talked about is finding accountability like Cather insight, but also if you’re gonna be going to a studio or working with a coach, looking out for things that are kind of red flags when it comes to diet culture.
36:16 S2: So when we’re coaching, for example, we’re never gonna be like, Oh, let’s get ready for because Tom Ladies time to work on those ads, that is not the ravage that we’re using on a coaching person, it’s about how they’re feeling and powering them to be strong and giving them permission to back off when they need to, and permission to push a little harder when they need to, and so looking out for those red flags, I think are super important, if you’re going to a studio or Janine, the trainer that is measuring you all the time, or trying to get you to become a part of the challenge of some sort, do that’s based on an aesthetic rather than something more feasible, attainable and anything on… It seems kind of silly, but if there’s people on social media or Instagram that make you feel less than, or you’re not measuring, unfollow, the people that are gonna lift you up every day and push you in that right state of mind, ’cause it’s easy for so many of us, especially scrolling these days as, man, the screen time has gone up and they’re extinguish… Yeah, I think those little steps totally end up helping the mindset shift in the long run…
37:42 S2: Yeah, that’s huge. You have to choose a lot of seemingly hard things in an instant, but it just has such a much more positive effect, even just throwing away a scale, not waiting yourself actually throw your scale away, break it in half, that’ll just take away the temptation of stepping on it every single other… In this instance, it’s really hard for me to unfollow this person, it’s really hard for me to throw this thing in the trash, but the positive effects it’s gonna have on your mental wellness is like, Oh.
38:17 S1: So I call what you guys are talking about, ’cause I’m writing a book called Fit in faith. And that was really where my fifth podcast came from out of writing this book and knowing that the story needed to be out sooner than the publishing world would allow it, and also that other women, again, have these story lines. And it’s so necessary for us to be able to share them. But I call it landscape design, and so it’s like taking inventory of your landscape being whatever it is on your phone, or being what’s in your refrigerator or your pantry, or being what’s in your bathroom, or the words that are coming at you, or the music that you’re listening to or the videos that you’re watching, for me, a huge struggle back in the day was like in TV music videos and now it’s way worse ’cause it’s in everything, but just even hearing the way songs are written and the way that they talk about the female body, and then again, designing it so that your inputs are positive and wholesome and right and true, and so I really love all the things that you’re saying, I think it’s so imperative for people to realize that it’s an action, like you actually have to take action, it’s not something that’s just gonna naturally shift as your mind becomes…
39:33 S1: Well, ’cause it doesn’t work like that. As my mind was healing, the reason my mind was healing was because I was taking out the things that were affecting my mind, and it was just… Exactly as you’re saying, Take out the comparison. Obviously, from a business perspective, my wheels were spending Chelsea, when you were talking about the red flags, because I feel like that would be an incredible resource to your community, even people who are outside of your community, listeners who are like… What does she mean by red flags? Maybe it’s words that specific trainers say, or red flags, even in their gyms that they’re… They’re signing up for what is the mission behind that gym for people to understand half the time you walk into a gym and sign up, you don’t even think about that stuff, but for instance, I’m a part of burn boot camp, I think you guys have one local to you, and it’s all about women empowerment and community and empowering us as women to be the best version of ourselves, to be strong, and the owners in his faith, and so a lot of people are infused with that faith mindset when they’re in the gym and now from a music standpoint, they don’t choose what I would choose and I work out or go on a run, but I can…
40:44 S1: I am strong enough now that I can stand in those spaces and work out and not let those words affect me the way that they used to so strongly. So I love that you guys are doing that if your community ’cause it is… It’s invaluable, really. Thank
41:00 S2: You, thank you. Totally.
41:03 S1: What else? Tell me more. Where can we go with this? I feel like I have a bunch of questions, but I wanna give you guys the floor if you guys have any other thought patterns.
41:13 S2: I have a little side note, let’s… So we’re both super Taylor with… And I don’t know about you, but if you haven’t watched her documentary, I have at Netflix, you should… She actually brings up at one point and she gets really vulnerable about her body image journey, and some of the advice and the things that she talks about on there is, even as the world’s biggest pop star struggling with this, makes so much sense if she talks about the way that she would kind of… What’s the word? I’m trained those thoughts to come into her head when she would look at a picture of her in the press and be like, Oh wow, I look so huge here, and then she talks about how she would backtrack and say… Well, no, we’re not going down that road again. So that’s just a little side. That’s
42:07 S1: Awesome. I haven’t seen it and I loved it. I have a good documentary. That’s awesome.
42:11 S2: I have a little quote because that’s how obsessed I am, it’s on my Instagram thing, so I E… But it says I’m a lot happier with who I am and I don’t care as much if somebody points out that a gain way, it’s just something that makes my life better than acts instead of a size double zero. I mean, that wasn’t how my body was supposed to be, I just didn’t really understand that at the time, and she goes into how you do get trained growing up that you need to be on this bad diet, or You need to look this way in the press or it’s just so detailed and it hurts on an even more heightened level because she Taylors with everyone’s looking at here, but I think it’s something that everyone can relate to where she says it’s something that happens very slowly over time and it eventually encompasses your mind and it overcomes you and you don’t even realize that it’s happened, and then all of a sudden you’re looking at yourself the same way that society looks at you.
43:14 S1: I think that’s like the power, the powerful ways of the enemy, in the sense that it is a slow progression, I’ve used this analogy, but before, but I was not visible, so it’ll work better this way, but like we all start at the perfect component of creation in God’s image, and He intends for us to be over here, and instead day by day, as we’re going the line, we’re just adjusting a little bit, a little bit, a little bit to then our line is way over here and God’s like Menino, you’re supposed to be over here in the enemies like keep coming, keep coming this way, to the point where we get so off course where this seems impossible to get back to that, that angled back to the point if you would have us be… And I love Chelsea and caffeine that you guys both has said the onset that this is not a 30-day transformation, that this is not a skinny quick experience, like you can do those things, and those things might be what’s achieved, but where is your heart and where is your mind… And ultimately, that’s where you are gonna live, that’s where you live all minutes of every day, and so that’s the part ultimately, that needs to be fixed first, it needs to be like…
44:27 S1: No, I say fix, ’cause not like you’re necessarily broken, you’re just in a place of negative mindset, and so it even sounds weird, like when somebody gives you a compliment, as women often deflect it, instead of saying thank you so much. Like if someone’s like, Oh, you look really good in that dress. And you’re like, Oh, thanks. Or you’ll just be like, Yeah, I could have a little bit less here. A little bit more there. We constantly are thinking about how we could be better, and yet instead of just receiving the compliment and saying thank you, it’s a deflection, and I think that that’s like this comparison as part of comparison, and it’s a part of so many different things, but I wish that we would get better as a community of supporting one another through compliments and us as women learning to say thank you and receiving it, and not just saying thank you to say thank you, but to receive it going
45:23 S2: Along with… Going along with that, I think a lot of it is a shift, and so something that I try to do in my own head is how do I view other women… Like when I look at Chelsea, just as example, ’cause she’s here, I see the strong, hot, beautiful, confident woman, and maybe when she looks at herself in the mirror some, she doesn’t see that. And so I think that if we gave the same grace to ourselves that we give other women, like if we just stepped out of ourselves and looked at ourselves in from another vantage point, than it would really change our perspective. One thing I always think about is like, How do I want my future daughter to look at her son, because I would view her as this miracle creation, beautiful woman who got created, but we don’t look at ourselves that way, so it’s the same thing with compliment. It’s like, Why don’t we empower ourselves from the inside out, why don’t we say like, Wow, you do a like Dan girl. Because we deserve the same grace that we give other people and we don’t give it to ourselves…
46:38 S1: Ah, that’s good. I think using those words to that you were saying, and taking away like pretty or skinny or some of the things that might be that cultural mindset, and using the words you are strong and empowering and motivating, and all of the words that really speak to the character and the heart of the woman versus the body of the woman would be a really good technical strategy
47:04 S2: And changing the definition of beauty is, to me, Chelsea is beautiful both from an aesthetic point, but more so I think she’s beautiful because of her heart. And so if you change, What does beautiful mean? If it means something that’s like, my heart is kind and compassionate and all these things, then it becomes more of a characteristic instead of a label.
47:33 S1: It’s interesting, Chelsea, as you’re going through a pregnancy, I was… My first out of college experience, I became a personal trainer as well, and I was doing personal training and nutrition consulting specifically around the business that I was looking to launch, which is pre and post-natal, like a maternity boutique. So I did all of my training and my fitness certifications in pregnancy, even though I was years away from having a baby at that point, and so as your body is changing and you’re walking through these first experiences of that, and you’re still probably tiny at this point, but you’re gonna have all these different thought processes and patterns that go through, and I wasn’t in the same heart set or a mindset that I am now when I was pregnant and even afterwards, and so that was a really, really hard journey for me from the physical standpoint of my body during pregnancy and then of course, my body after pregnancy and having these huge expectations for myself to be back in my bikini, bad before a certain date Or… And really stressing myself to the point where I wasn’t able to and even enjoy nursing as long as I really hoped that I could because I didn’t feel my body correctly during those times, so I know you’re gonna have such a testimony to that as you walk through this season.
48:55 S2: Thank you. Yeah, it’s really, I’m really glad that I’m in the mindset that I am now going through this because I can definitely see and understand where that can be really hard in toxic for women. And I think it’s really sad. I’m a part of a couple of different face-based mom groups on Facebook and stuff, and I’ll see these posts, and these moms are posting their post or their pre-permanency body, and then when they are right now at 35 weeks, pigment. And they’re like, I’m struggling so hard. It’s never been over 120 pounds in my holistic don’t know what to do, and it just really breaks my heart that that’s the case when your body is… We were literally created to create life and how we get amazing is that, and I think we all need to look at it from that point and not close these… Again, coming back to those diet culture references of focusing in on the product rather than the process… On the podcast, we talk about focusing on the process rather than the product, and sometimes if you lose some weight or you feel better about your body, whatever, that’s just icing on a cake, but that’s on our Y and it should never be…
50:10 S2: Your process is creating why… Who that care is? What would look like it? I’m not gonna say that I won’t struggle, I’m sure that I will, but I think we as women need to get better about speaking that into ourselves and then to other women and not be like, Oh, it all… I’m gonna take you to lose the baby weight or once back, we’re gonna be meeting a whole new versions of ourselves when you become a mom, and that might not ever look like you did before, and honestly, thank God for that. Right, ’cause we’re being transformed from the inside out, so I think that… That’s huge. That gives me full body chills, it’s so good, it’s such a gift that you will be able to Seward people in that way, because I surely needed it, and the people around me weren’t speaking that kind of life at the time either. So again, landscape design includes who used to run yourself with… It includes your community. And so if you don’t have friends that are speaking into your well-being rather than your physicality, then you’re not in the right space, especially if you’re dating someone who’s only looking at your physicality perspective, that’s a red flag, if you will, from the relationship standpoint.
51:31 S1: But it is it’s such a beautiful, amazing gift, and it definitely changes everything when you have a little person, a little human on the other side that is able to speak to you, ’cause it doesn’t have the same weight for me, it didn’t… When my child was an infant, I was like, Oh my gosh, he’s amazing, and he’s amazing, and there are everything that I ever wanted, but I still had these effects and now I’ve been walking through like my little girl who gets ready with me in the morning, pre-quarantine, ’cause I only look like this… Do I die awake now at my variable, actually blowing did. But I stopped wearing mascara completely over the course of the last probably two months, so I put it on probably four times since then when I’m doing video overly things for stuff, but my child was sitting next to me as a five-year-old, and she would say Oh, can you put some on me of anything Beatles should be or whatever, and I’m like, No, baby. Your skin so perfect. You’re so sweet. Just the way you are, all the things that our mothers told us when we first wanted to wear make-up, you don’t need that.
52:38 S1: And she’d be like, Well, you don’t need it either. And I’m like, You’re right, you’re right. I absolutely don’t. And so I would be like, Hey, to my son, and the other morning I giving them and I run upstairs and go get ready while you finish that exercise, and he’s like, But you already look ready. I’m like, Oh, I’m in my pajamas. He’s like, I know you can get dressed, but you don’t need to do anything else, and it’s just… It’s all about our perception, and again, like what the world is presenting as ready versus I’m ready, and so it’s just… It’s so different when they can speak life into you even at such a young age, so it’s been a really cool transformation for me as a mom and a freeing experience as a woman. I mean, are you kidding me? I don’t have to go to make up, this is great, I can get ready and just as much time as my husband, my hair doesn’t look as good as his because he just does this little thing, my… Regardless, it doesn’t matter, we’re quarantined, so there’s a lot of beauty in that experience, and I hope that people learn to embrace that through this time, mindset.
53:40 S2: Years ago, I have three little Matthews, and so I just think it’s comical that we’re adding in… Yeah, another boy. But we were all at our family vacation at the vitals that we got it over summer, and my oldest Mehdi, I think he was maybe three or four of the time, and I guess I was wearing… I go most of the week or had gotten ready to go to dinner and later on simply make up Bob so I wasn’t wearing any… Mascarene looks at me and he’s like, What’d you molasses go. I really think I was like, Oh man, that is bad. But I think the business is like When I look like, I should probably stay up and make them from in a while of… Faulty of me changed. Yeah, anyway.
54:30 S1: Well, it’s funny, I always feel most free in my skin anyway when it’s summertime and I’m not wearing make up, and yet in the winter, you’re like, I guess I need the bronze or break out the… You know, so it’s so not necessary, but I think that’s another reason I live at the beach that I can get ample subjects such as I can… Ready for it. So good. Well, ladies, I am so grateful for you. I feel like you’re transforming Wilmington, but even beyond that, ’cause I know you guys are reaching people on a national, and I’m gonna say it out loud, worldly level, that you guys continue to just walk this thing out and let God continue to transform the hearts of other women, and you just continue to steward the messages that have been placed on your heart and continuing to be the light… I love, Katherine, you were talking about that earlier, and then you have this lamp right here, and you just look so angelic, she is a preaching light now, and it’s just all or not, but I just love it. I love that it ingrained in your alls testimonies and that you guys are standing in that and it’s a beautiful thing, especially being as young and new in life as you guys are.
55:41 S2: Thank you so much. That changes, I feel honored to know you, you…
55:46 S1: Thank you if you wrote you on. So let me… Before we jump off, let people know how they can find you individually or collectively, obviously, your podcast.
55:57 S2: Yeah, so our podcast is called heart and soul, S-O-L-E, and the and sign is actually a plus sign, you… It’s tricky in the searching part, so a heart plus soul, as-O-L-E is our podcast. You can find us on Integra, to that heart and soul podcast. My personal Instagram is, I’m all about the gram, if you wanna find me, that’s the best way to reach me, but it’s K-C-O-L, helmed a name and have to change, they call, and then my business Instagram is a soul sole under or fitness. So you can find all the information about what we offered… Yeah, cool. Yeah, and I’m at Kelsey Allegra on Instagram, and then my website is Chelsea a Liga dot com.
56:46 S1: Awesome. Pining over both of your all’s businesses during this season, it’s my heart to see if you guys thrive, especially in the wedding industry, Chelsea, they gotta make them up… You can make up. Right, it’s gonna be a busy collaterals. Exactly, right. Well, when’s the baby, do you wait Augustus earning
57:06 S2: From maternity leave and shooting like six weddings a lot, so… 57:09 S1: Wow, then definitely extra prayer in that regard. Yeah. Alright, you, it was a pleasure. Yeah, it was a pleasure. And we’ll be in touch soon, thank you. So another address, I’m your fitting faith Post, and I am so excited to just be here to share with you other movers, dreamers, shakers, entrepreneurs, pastors, whatever, if you go head and you got a hard… I’m so excited to explore who that is, who’s you are and discover your wholeness, your health, your wealth, wealth and your joy. I love to Zoe happiness, I want people to know that this is not… Just came with trial, you guys, this came with a lot of effort, this came with a lot of lows and so many highs, and I want us to experience those together, this is a real community, a dreamer and I’m excited to help catalog falling on your kingdom experience the purpose of your imprint on the world, wherever, however that is. So come along for the ride. I’m excited to chat with you. Comment review, Sinead some an email. It’s me responding event. Have these credible team. And so I’m just excited to get to know you. Let’s connect, thus create me and let’s walk in our call.