Growing and Evolving with Tamra Andress - A Trevor Talks Rebroadcast
Always becoming isn't something I just throw out. It is my life. I believe we are always growing and evolving and if we are not, then we are not truly living to our full potential.
This interview is from the Trevor Talks Podcast with Trevor Tyson. He is all about being an advocate for mental health and we connect in many ways. Enjoy this great episode!
If you want to hear the interview with Trevor on The FIT in Faith Podcast, look for episode #78!
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Show Notes: Growing and Evolving
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast. It is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit as space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.
And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
Thank you for tuning in a Trevor talks podcast, where we talk to real people about real topics and real stories. Today's guest is doing some amazing work in the entrepreneurial space, Tamra and dress as a faith based entrepreneurial coach with a heart for illuminating purpose and light within others.
By first seeking alignment and. Body and spirit. She's a blessed wife and mama of two little ones, a certified ordain minister, a podcaster, and she loves spreading the love of the light of our father. You could find her podcasts fit and faith on all major streaming platforms and she's just all around an amazing person.
I'm super thrilled to have her on the show today. Y'all help me welcome miss Tamra and dress. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much. I can't share my Mr. Clap or snap. Exactly. Do a little dance over here. Careful of the mic. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much. And just to mention that Trevor was also on the fit and based podcast just a couple of weeks ago.
So we will have to get that link back because it was an incredible conversation. And I think it's always cool to have the, uh, interviewer in the interview. C for a bit. So I'm pleased to be in that spot today. Yeah. And it's so funny because like I said before you set me up for failure, you put me right after Dave Hollis and I'm just sitting here, like, I mean, wow.
I was listening to your podcast right afterwards. Cause he was like, what else is there to come? I think it's more of a representation of strong men and opportunity. Let's look at it. Right. Oh, yes, this is exactly why you're a good coach. You're like, let's look at it a different way and model it after that.
So already, like, you're coaching me right now, but receive, receive January. So you've been doing the podcast for quite a while, and I really want to talk about that, like coming right out of the gates. What prompted you to start this? Yeah. You know what? I had a prompting, honestly, from the holy spirit about writing a book and it was called the same exact thing fit and faith.
And I went out on a writing retreat for an entire week and just had an incredible download of writing almost three quarters of the book. Still is in my hand and editing phase. So we'll talk about that part later. Um, but when that happened, so many people were curious and asking me questions about the transformation that my life had taken over, um, taken on if you will.
And also what that meant to me. And it really was about this concept of mind, body, and soul and spirit alignment and living. State of vertical alignment versus a horizontal grasping, which I feel like I did for a majority of my life. And, um, fitness was always a huge part of my life, which is where that part of it comes into play, but it doesn't have to do with just.
Um, it's really about the exercising of mental health, the exercising of our spiritual health and realizing that all of that comes into play with our faith. Uh, and, and it's different for everyone, which is why I love it so much. And it speaks to people in different ways. So the podcast was a way for me to.
I guess evaluate on a more consistent basis, how other people are experiencing that in their own life and what their health factors are and where they're at in their alignment. Because every season you have different alignment zones, if you will. Uh, and so I want to do. Create a space of all the people that had kind of infused me during the season and during the process of, of growing and evolving and still becoming, as I always say, I think we're always still becoming where we haven't gotten to any finish line unless I'm dead and in heaven.
And so I'm learning, I'm evolving, I'm becoming something more and so sharing and showcasing other things. Stories, it just makes us all more relatable. It makes us all more connected and ultimately community is what we're here for. And so I love to just be a light for other people to share their own stories.
And that relate-ability is what we need. And honestly, from a mental health perspective with it, I feel like we still just stay isolated. Yeah. And for you to say that it's like, that's kinda what I'm doing here. I want people to come and share their stories. There's always a different guest. Um, very rarely will we have people come back for like a part two, unless it's months down the line, but like, this is all about showcasing stories.
And in this episode showcasing you and what you're doing and for you to have. Been in the position you're in being an entrepreneur, being someone that really chases Jesus and even goes after your faith and such an amazing and vulnerable way. Have you struggled with mental health and your journey to get you to this?
I have, I absolutely haven't and I think that's the why behind so much of what I do. I'm creating that open storyline for people to realize that perfectionism is a lie. Um, success really, I think, is a lie because that's a different variable factor for the American dream, which is what I had bought into.
And, uh, What that means through the lens of the Lord. And so not only have I struggled with thoughts of suicide, depression, anxiety, so sad, so much that I was like literally bedridden in the middle of the night, like convulsing or my husband had to like, hold me during this time. And so, and I had two little ones and I think that being a part of my storyline makes it all the more wild because.
This often happens in a state of isolation. And yet I was surrounded by people who love me. Um, yet I couldn't really look in the mirror to love myself, which I think is why it felt so isolating. And, and I was having all of these issues. Yeah. And like we talked about in Europe, so like you hit the nail right on the head with that.
It's when I struggle with depression or insecurity is like, is I know they're not my thoughts, but they're almost using the same voice as your encouraging thoughts. And sometimes the holy spirit of prompting. Like you can differentiate the two, but there's always that insecurity in your mind that. Oh, you're not good enough to do this.
You're not positive enough through this. You're not going to make an impact, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it just keeps going and going. So how have you found that fitness and mental health can work hand in hand? Yeah, so I think a variable factor that's important for people to pick up on as well as I accepted the Lord into my heart when I was really young, I was 14, but I walked my own line.
Right. And I did my own thing and totally prodigal. Straight and said, like I've got this for a very long time on, into my marriage, on, into motherhood. So those experiences that I was sharing with you happened in the midst of motherhood after having two small kids, also running two different businesses, simultaneously working like 60 ish hours a week and being married and nursing and doing all these things.
Right. So trying to live up to the expectations of other people was a huge part at people, pleasing and perfectionism of my storyline. But. Fitness being a part of my storyline since I was little, I was a gymnast starting at age three and my parents were really heavily into fitness. And so I remember like coming home from college and being asked to step on a scale and it wasn't like necessarily in a negative perspective, but thinking back on it, I'm like, that's terrible.
I would never do that to my daughter. Right. And then I remember walking in when I just quit competitive gymnastics, I was 14 years old, same timeframe that I was. Young life and coming to know who Jesus was. And my Nana. It was very exterior driven, said it looked like I had gained a few pounds. And I remember just like taking that in so heavy, um, and feeling like I'm a teenage girl already dealing with enough from teenage boys.
Right. And here I am from somebody who's supposed to love me no matter what feeling that sense of imperfection. And so. Move forward into college where everyone else was gaining the freshman 15. I was losing 15 pounds because I was walking everywhere. But also I was in this really dark state of depression.
I was sleeping almost around the clock. Meanwhile, none of my friends knew this. My boyfriend didn't know this and I was just clinching to any sense of control. And I've always felt like fitness was something I could control. If I could go to the gym, this duration or five could be. Specific gene size, then that meant I was closer to that idea of the model in the magazine.
And I struggled when I was little with, um, pornography and cyber sex, and that was rooted and stemmed from, um, uh, sexual encounter. That happened when I was three with somebody who had a mental illness, who was. Or the knee and kind of quieted me into that situation, um, to the point where he was literally putting his hand over my mouth and I felt such guilt and shame.
And so it really played out in such a magnitude of a way throughout my life. And fitness was the thing that I felt like. I had to have in order to be loved by the opposite sex. And when I came into like motherhood and your body is not your own and, and even being a wife at the time, like, I just didn't feel confident.
I didn't understand who I was. I was seeking for attention in all the wrong ways. And, um, it was through. That God actually restored my understanding of my body being utilized as a vessel and not a piece or a, um, a service or anything in that regard. So I've really found that fitness is an outlet for my wellbeing as an outlet.
Prayer. It's an outlet of, if I'm trying to focus on something or have a breakthrough with God is a conversation time for me. Um, and it's really just utilized now as a way to endure the huge vision that I feel like God has placed on my life. And in order to steward my calling. And I believe this is for everyone, no matter your calling, we have to have that sense of endurance and that sense of strength.
And I can understand it most tangibly from my physical. I love that so much. And there's a few things that you said that I really want to hit on. Um, and the first one being when you got home and was it your grandmother that told you to step on a scale? That's? Uh, it was actually my father at the time. My Nana was the one who first, like, kind of brought that into me when I sound competitive gymnastics.
Yeah. So relatable because it may not be as direct for everyone. But I know like when I was younger and even now people still make comments about my weight. Cause I'm super slim. Like I genetically I can't gain weight very easily at all. Like I can eat all day long, mass gainer workout, whole nine yards.
That's just not happening. My body's not going to grow like that. So I've always had. Negative image in my head of like that I've had to overcome and still struggle to overcome daily. And there's been a very weird stereotype that guys don't struggle with body image like that. Um, but it's also funny that in Hollywood, Seeing, like all these huge muscular dudes and nobody else, like, I mean, it's almost like you compare, um, Chris Evans at the beginning of captain America to the end, the like, they show him really skinny and then like a big bulky dude.
And it's like, not every guy is going to be like that. And even you mentioned pornography, which there was a huge win, um, for the anti-trafficking movement the day, um, a very popular porn website. I think it's the most popular in the world. Um, took down millions of videos from unverified users because there's actually great in there.
Um, and three of the major card distributors, like people that, um, accept payments, I think it was a MasterCard visa and Amex, or don't quote me on that three. Took their cards off. Like they can't be used on that website and it needs to happen because even for myself, um, growing up pornography was a huge issue for me.
And it was like, oh, you don't talk about that. Now people are proud of it. Like, oh, I'm just going to go home and watch porn. Um, I don't need a. Wait till I'm married to have sex, I'm just going to do what I need to do and go on. And it used to be this taboo thing, but now people were proud of it. And I feel like that's digging a hole.
That's not being talked about still. And it's like, Depression breeds with isolation. If you're replacing love with what you're seeing on that screen, and you're letting the dopamine levels come from the fake intimacy that you're viewing on a screen, it is setting you up for failure. But with all that being said, Where, where do we even start with the faith community on this?
Um, for you as a female that struggle with pornography grownup me as a male, I feel like this would be a good thing to hit on. Like where do we need to address us? And especially from a mother's perspective. Yeah, parents be addressing this. Yeah. I think it's a evolving process as technology and our phones and all of those things become more easily assessable for me.
I, it was when I was so young that like phones and computers and all of that wasn't even around yet. And so it was literally like old school Playboy. Right. And it was, I always had access to a mobile device because. My generation grew up with it. Right, right. So now, yeah, I mean, now my kids do have access to that.
And so it's really important. One for us to communicate about it. I think more than anything, um, because it has been such a hush factor. Like I never had like a birds and the bees conversation. So I had had this, you know, insurmountable. Sad, um, kind of, well, now I view it as disgusting, but situation that had occurred when I was so little that nobody even knew existed and therefore that shame and guilt that comes along with our body image starts very, very young.
And so it's important for me as a mom, I have, um, Specific books that are Christian based books. That address from age three to six, from seven to 10, from 10 to 15, my kids are only six and seven. So I'm in this in-between section. And really it's just about us having open conversation about, you know, what is, what is your body, what is it called?
What does every piece call to your body? What does saying no, look like what is protecting your body look like? What does intimacy look like? Um, all of these conversations that I never even. I never even had until I was in a therapist office with my husband. And so imagine what that process is like, unpacking this understanding of intimacy with the person that you've exchanged vows with forever more.
And I don't even feel comfortable in a bedroom. Right. And so it's really critical. And I have a teenage nieces who I just want. Usually to impart the fact that every single person that you come in contact with, whether you're holding your hand, their hand or you're exchanging some sort of intercourse sex of any sort with there's an imprint that happens.
And that imprint. To your marriage bed one day. And it is so hard to remove an imprint. Once it's done it, like setting something in a concrete stone, right? And so this is why God, as a covenant doesn't want us to have interactions like this outside of our marriage, because it breaks the understanding of intimacy.
It breaks the understanding of a personal value and self worth. And then you're unable to give all of yourself to the person that was made. All of yourself, God invented sex. Sex is not wrong. It's a matter of the viewpoint of when it's supposed to be appropriate and how it's supposed to be used and how we approach what that looks like from male and female, because pornography provides this crazy skewed experience that is so MTV, circa 1990.
It's just not real. It's not the way that it happens and it's not, I don't believe how God intended for us to experience. So there's so many different conversations and ways to look at it and ways to approach it. But ultimately I think it's a conversation it's just opening your mouth about things that feel taboo, things that feel inappropriate, things that you only think about, or you only see.
And so I I'd be curious what that was like for you and where you're at. Yeah, it comes down though. I've struggled with it a lot in even elementary school than middle school. I very young age. Um, and then even like, Through high school, some like on and off, I'd be like, oh, I'm doing good here then I didn't.
And I'm like, it's like a non-stop battle. But when I got to thinking about one day being married and I don't want to carry that baggage into a marriage, that's when I really started to hammer down on it and break free from it. And even now like, um, I have good friends that are married and they're like, you know, that temptation never goes away.
You just have to keep combating it. And if you keep viewing it, like when you're dating and into an engagement, like what makes you think? Just because you're able to have sex freely, um, When you get married, it's going to go away. It's not, it's always going to be there and it's going to follow you so the quicker you can cut it off the quicker you're free from it.
And I think there's a lot of really cool resources. Now I know there's a three X church or X three, something like that. Um, where you can put software on your computer and your phone, the have someone watch it as an accountability partner. I used that in high school when I was getting, um, through that season, but now more than ever.
So important to have these discussions, especially since they're in the limelight, almost as much as the president elect and the president are right now, you see this happened with the porn industry today, and this happened and this happened and you have so many amazing advocates out there, like any little bear with hookers, for Jesus and even Victor Marx and so many amazing people like standing up and saying, this is not okay.
And most recently, and probably the loudest you've got, um, Terry crews. Who played on. Everybody hates Chris and he was on white chicks. He saw the bigger black dude that had the scene in the movie. My favorite, where he's like making my way downtown walking fast, the best part of the whole movie. So shout out to Terry on that, but.
On a serious note, like he's really tackled it. Like he's going after it. And then Ashton Kutcher is working with end it movement and so many amazing organizations and has his own, um, people are going hard and heavy over this. They're starting to see that this is an actual issue. And even years ago, I don't know the date on it.
Playboy stopped releasing nudes in their magazines and turned it into a fashion magazine because people have free access to it on their devices at all times. So what's the point in trying to sell it. They had to reevaluate it. So now that it's so openly free, what's in your opinion, what's the right way.
As a mother to guard your child from that because my mom and dad put firewalls up, but Trevor was just a little too sneaky and knew how to get around all that. It just wasn't going to work. So as a mother in 2021, how do you feel like you guard your children from that the correct way? Yeah, it's, that's a very difficult conversation.
Luckily, my kids are still really little, but I think that that's why it's the most important thing to start having conversations about it now. Um, and, and really getting curious as their curiosity grows because I can't possibly. Be in their brain or be in the experiences that they're having on a consistent basis, because it's so drastically different than my storyline, because I didn't have access like they do.
Um, I'm not having conversations about sex or all of that. When I was in elementary school, I didn't comprehend it yet. It was in my field of view. And so it's really recognizing things, even like Netflix or even like common era. Disney and the things that people think are funny or appropriate. I, we, I say we, because my husband and I are huge advocates of this together are not okay with this normalcy.
And therefore it's a safeguarding of everything that we do and realizing that just because it's on the kid's Netflix doesn't mean that it's appropriate. And so we've just adjusted to pure Flix. So wholly, but it is like so much better for our children. And like, I don't find myself constantly having to explain something that I don't think that they're even ready to hear.
And this is totally inappropriate to be talking to a dude like this, but I have to share it because I choked it. You have female listeners, but I will be in bed. It's that? It's that time of the month I'm sitting next to both of my kids were watching. And this movie and I stand up to go to the bathroom and there was a mishap on my behalf for my menstrual cycle, all over the bed.
Mind you, my kids are six and seven Trevor. I'm sorry that you're even listening to this. And it's very bizarre, but it's prevalent. No. And so my kids are like, what is going on? Like, they don't understand what's happening. And I'm like, well, this is kind of like something like, God gives us as women. My daughter's eyes are about to bulge out right here.
The sun yells, is that coming out of your butt? And I'm like, ah, I'm in the bathroom, like processing, processing, processing, what do I say? How do I do this? You guys, we don't have the answers to these huge questions. We're not always going to get it right. We're not always going to have a way of expressing it.
And so it's so important for us to just like, we armor up with the word of the Lord. We need to armor up with this conversation because if we just wait. And oops situation happens. You now look like you don't know, and therefore trust is almost betrayed in that situation. They needed me to be open. They needed me to say, this is something that we are gifted with as women.
And one day you're going to experience it and their eyes are bulging out of their head, but it's. And so I think ultimately that's, our responsibility is what is true? What is noble? What is right? What is in good character? All of the fruits of the spirit are something that has to be infused in this conversation all the time at an early, early age.
Yeah. And real people, real topics and real stories let's go. And this is so good because most of our, my listeners are female. So it's, it's really interesting. Something, I never would have been able to take notes on. So I, I, I, it, would've just been weird. So the fact that we get to have you come and talk about things that are beneficial to them, and even guys need to hear this stuff, like it could be uncomfortable at times, if you choose to let it be uncomfortable, but if you're willing to have a real conversation and open yourself up to understanding that, you know, bodies work in different ways, like if somebody farted in public, like everybody's still gonna laugh.
Yeah, everybody does it, but for some reason, it's still funny when someone else does it. It's I it's just so odd to me that we still have those conversations as adults. Like, I guess, fart noises. There's just always going to be funny. And sometimes when you have to explain to your kids, why. You had your period on the bed.
It's like it happens and it is what it is. And I want to hit back to your story. Um, when it comes to you as not only a business woman and a woman of faith, like what did your story look like growing up? Were you always interested in business where there hidden passions that you thought you wanted to pursue trial and error?
What would you. What would you classify as your story? Yeah. Well, I have had a mic in my hand for a very long time and it's not because I can sing. So I'm not going to give you an example of that, but I was in I'll do it sometimes. I break out on song on my own podcast, but I'll hold that off for you. I just told a period story.
Okay. And that gives us a great segway to send everybody to the link in the description to check out Tamra's podcast. Just to hear her say. Thank you so much. So in elementary school I was on, I would be on TV commercials. Sometimes I was always involved in student government. And so I remember specifically running for SGA president, my fourth grade, going into fifth grade year and I had the entire school stand up and do the Macarena with me.
So that was fun. So, so good to this day, I still rock it out. Um, I was on through student government and speaking in front of assemblies for all three. Uh, on into college. And I, I knew that I was good at speaking. I knew from an entrepreneurship perspective, I loved like event planning. I love stewarding a team.
I loved going after a mission collectively with people, uh, and it wasn't until business school. And I didn't even know I was going to go into business school. It was actually my first. You're in college. I was undecided and I went to the counselor's office to try and figure out what the heck am I here for also in that dark season that I had mentioned.
And so I needed to find purpose. So they did a bunch of like, uh, personality testing, uh, all the ones you can imagine beyond just personality, like Korea. And the top three of every single result was business management. So I was like, Hmm, that sounds fun. I think I could do that. So it was business management with a focus in marketing, a passion in that side of it.
But management was what I decided to do. And my senior year, while working alongside six other people, we had to devise like a full on business plan. And I got accepted into a business plan competition, and we got top two in our university, which was really awesome. It's one of the top. Business schools, JMU go Dukes, um, in the, in the nation.
And so we, um, when we were approached saying that like, we didn't win, but somebody should do this. It was an idea around maternity around pregnancy. The guys were like, I'm out. And the other two girls were finance driven. And so I was like, yeah, I do this. And my mom was the one who originally originated the idea because she ran a daycare and preschool in her home since I was little.
So she's been running that business for 34 years. So I've seen entrepreneurship emulated, and then for her and I to always just kind of brainstorming. Dream cast together. I decided never to like design a resume, never went to a job fair and went right out of school, knowing that I was going to eventually own my own business.
So I did personal training and nutrition. Coaching goes back to the fitness realm. We did beauty and the beach on the side of the bootcamp of the ocean front in Virginia Beach was really fun. And then we started belly casting, which is a really interesting as I'm taking casting material and formulating a pregnant women's body.
And then. Sanded and design it to her nursery. And so hang inside as a replica of her stomach after her child was long gone, um, interesting, but really fun and popular, and it led into a boutique. Um, and in that boutique experience, I was seven months pregnant when we opened. And I got presented a couple of years in with, uh, an investor from Australia who was looking to bring his company is nursing bra line to be specific to America.
So I got to redesign a nursing bra and bring that to life. Um, the American market. And that was really where my dead in happened because that's when those two stories collide. What I, which I mentioned was my grasping, uh, the American dream success, finances, and putting aside what I know now and what I should have known then, but didn't my first ministry, which is my home.
Um, so that's my entrepreneurial journey in, as I stepped into releasing. To uh, companies, which was very, very difficult. I held that title of CEO, like so close to home because I held titles since I was little since being president of the elementary school since being president of the middle school, since running for president of the high school, like all of those things really matter to me from, um, and achievement driven, look at my daughter experience.
And my parents were only proud of me. I would be doing the exact same thing when my kids get any sort of recognition. But at the same time, I am really. Um, prominent about just showcasing who they are as being good enough and enough in general and worthy of love and worthy of representation and celebration despite any sort of recognition or title.
And so, as I finally released those, I stepped into understanding who God sees me as, and the title of being a daughter and what that looked like in the church and what that looked like in my home. And really for the first time accepting being a wife and being a mom and. Okay. Being just those things, but having a deep rooted passion, that there was more that I wanted to give and knowing it was going to come out through entrepreneurship.
I just didn't know what that looked like. So it was serving other people in coffee conversations about how to bring their dreams to life. That really led me to an aha moment of I'm already doing what I meant to do. I just didn't have a name for it. And I love that it didn't take a title for me to step into it that God was just like, I'm going to serve you up a plate.
You can deal with it, what you will. So I love doing what I do and, um, it's been quite a journey and the hardship is what makes the goodness so much. Oh, I love that so much. And it's so funny that you were FCA president and did all the pep rallies and all that, because that's what I did. I did, I would MC all the school pep rallies.
And you know, when you would be out there, like. Going wild and given everything. And everybody's just staring at you whenever people are like, what's your most embarrassing thing? And I'm like, what you see? I was doing this high school pep rally in my senior year. And the one before I had like the Atlanta news station come down and we had like a huge one at the new football field and there was music and everybody went nuts.
But the news wasn't there this time. And I tried to duplicate what we did. So, but the same music was like, we're just going to roll off that. Nothing, nothing at all. Like absolutely zip people staring, like looking into my soul and I'm just standing there, like still doing everything. The cheerleaders are doing their thing, you know, trying to get everybody pumped up.
They're just staring at me and I'm just like, eh, like, and I'll never forget, the principal came up and she's like, you good? Now my, yes, I'm glad we got to get this out of the way now because. It's just high school, like on social circle. So it it's so ironic that you started in that way. You went to business school, you found your success and you had, you didn't have to give it up, but you did define more success.
Um, I relate so much with finding the quote unquote American dream and finding myself more depressed than ever owned a house, new car, all that junk that. I, I call it a blessing because like, it set me up for, to be able to own a house now. But the job that I had was just that it was a job. Like I was, I loved it, but I wasn't passionate about it.
I was obsessed with it because I just wanted to keep going up and up and up and up. And I got really far at a really young age and I was like, this isn't for me one day, I was like, I'm done. I can't do it anymore. I didn't know what was next, but we're going to do it and let's get it right. I had the make it happen and God helped me make it happen.
And for so many people that are maybe even still in high school, young adult in college, they have these dreams and these visions and things that they want to do. And they're like, I could never do that. And I was on the phone with one of my best friends today and he's like, I just want to remind you that earlier this year, you called me and asked me to keep you accountable on launching a podcast.
This year, here we are with over 32 episodes released since we launched on May 21st. And it's like, I didn't need the accountability. I needed to actually make it happen. Like if you're going to go out, like go all out, like get the equipment, get the cover art built, make it. Presented the way you want it to be perceived.
Like, um, there's so many artists that are like, you know, I, our band was getting national recognition, but we weren't it yet. So how could we make ourselves appear as we were it, that way we can get on those stages? Um, and they got pyro and like, that was the game changer for them. I'm not gonna name the band because I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want me to share that.
Um, but like, if. Be this person and you feel like God's calling you to do something big, start doing it big, but don't get cocky about it. Just do it. Right. Like have that thing in your mind, like, okay. Like, okay, God. You want me to do that? I'll do it and I'm gonna give it everything I have. I'm going to put the financial investment.
I'm going to invest the time I'm going to do this. I'm going to do that. How do you come in line with people like that as a coach? Like, do they have the ideas or do you help break that out of them? Is it like they bring you an egg that just needs to be put in the incubator? Or are you the whole nine yards?
Like from beginning to end. How does it work? I think it, people come at all different stages, which is probably my most favorite thing about it is I get to kind of be in that storyline with them all the way through, uh, I've had people who have just literally come and sat in the presence of other coaching for.
Six months to a year before they ever even said, I have an idea. And they just wanted to be in the presence of other people who were doing positive things with positive mission, with a healthy mindset and pursuing a better version of themselves. Then there are people who were like, I have this idea and I have no idea how to bring it to fruition.
And so then it's more of like the systemizing and like, what do you need to do? And what do you do first and creating that, visit that business plan for them to. Step into it, but realizing that everyone's dream starts totally different everyone's, uh, formation of it is, is completely different. And so while I have, you know, systems and strategies, it's still, every day is different with every single call.
Which is why I love it. I love change. I love adrenaline. I love a problem. I'm trying to create the solution. Um, but really it's that ultimate factor of, of letting them put that toe out of the boat, letting them get the sense of, of stability, because. Creating strategy and systems and actually knowing where this dream could go and then slowly like getting out of the boat.
And I've had many people say that I'm the type of person who just pushes you out of the airplane. And I always correct them cause I'm like, yes, I want to push you out. I want you to get out there cause you're not going to die. You're going to get out, but I will. I'm gonna arm you up with the right pair of shoes.
Right. I'm going to have checked through the pack of parachute before I put it on your back. And so recognizing that. It feels like a lot and it can feel really scary, but once you're standing on the water, as long as I am, my job is been done to keep your eyes fixated on the most important thing, which has nothing to do with those systems has nothing to do with those strategies.
Just ultimately that your calling is aligned with who is calling you out of the boat, because I'm not going to be there as your coach is you and him on this walk. And what you do next is only contingent on what he does in your life. Now. And you saying yes to that. I think to that prompting to come forward, come forward and try this, try that, and realizing that we will fail.
We will fall short. We will keep like the squirrels will go by. The shiny lights will happen and we'll want to do what everybody else is doing. Maybe the good thing is the podcast. Maybe it's not the right thing for you. And so realizing where those storylines come in for Trevor and I. Similar. So it kind of makes total sense where other people might be fitting the podcast in because they think it's the right thing to do.
And yet they're not passionate about it. The only thing that's kept me going this long is cause I absolutely love it. The quality time is incredible. I feel so. Build after I do it, I get to talk about God. I get to talk with people around the world. Like it's, there's so many gifts in it where I also coach people how to do work or how to do podcasts.
And some people are like, I hate to talk. I'm like, what are you doing here? Why are you, what are you doing? Like, why so random, like write a blog, like right. Not everybody's going to do that extra Rogan. Right, right, right, right. And, and it's okay to step out of your comfort zone, but don't do it at the expense of your calling.
You have gifts that are already given, like, look within that zone of genius. Look within that zone of excellence. It doesn't mean you stay in a comfort zone because that's also not where God works and operates. He operates out on those stormy water. And so it's just a matter of realizing. It's always going to be different.
And your storyline towards entrepreneurship, towards alignment to circle us back to mental health, even towards intimacy with your husband, intimacy with your future wife. It looks different for every single person. But you said it earlier, when you were talking about like laying the pornography to the side and setting a goal.
And so it's ultimately what it comes from. Connecting with the heart of the father, knowing what is good, knowing what is noble knowing what is true, knowing what is righteous and good and kind, and love and noteworthy and walking towards that and realizing that it's not always perfect and success looks different for everyone.
And so my version of health and wealth and wholeness might be totally different than yours and that's okay. Yeah. And you said it earlier, like sometimes success is not going to look at all. What you would think it would be. Some people are like, I want to move Gotti and non bands of hundreds. And, uh, for anyone wonder what nine bands of hundreds is.
It would be nine stacks of like, I think either a hundred or 10, I think is a hundred, a hundred dollar bills trying to get that rap slang out there, you know? It doesn't look like that at all. I can. Most of your favorite rappers aren't as rich as they put out to say they are and the ones that don't are.
Um, so it looks very different and it's all about how you want people to look at you, but if you're putting your success and your hope and finances and fame and fortune and everything in between, like I hate to break it to you, but you'll get there and it's not going to satisfy you at all. So to close out, How would you bring up the fact to someone that maybe is struggling with wanting to start a business, wanting to pursue their ideas, but they have the wrong goal.
In mine. And I will go as far to say the wrong goal, because there is 100% such thing as a wrong goal in life. How would you approach that with someone that you've just met? Meaning someone listening to this podcast right now, if they have the wrong goal in mind, how would you explain to them that this time to switch the vision and pursue Jesus?
Mm, so good. And I think I mentioned it at the beginning, but it's kind of twisted toward this understanding of, of entrepreneurship or business is look at the goal, analyze the goal, put the goal in front of yourself in the mirror and think about, is this a horizontally. Desire or is this a vertical opportunity?
And ultimately I, the horizontal thing is exhausting. The horizontal thing is never enough. The horizontal thing is because somebody else has an expectation over you, or you have an expectation over yourself that was never intended for you to grab, hold off where a vertical opportunity feels.
Invigorating. It feels like your energy never depletes from it. There's ultimate joy that comes alongside it. And you know, when you put your head down every single night, that there is a joy factor from your heavenly father looking down on you. And I know when I came into understanding who I was as a daughter, I have never felt more at peace with myself than I did.
And my entire life, because I never felt like I went to sleep worthy until I understood the love that he has for me, that's enduring and the same exact love that's for you. Hmm. I love that so much, ladies and gentlemen, you can find fit and faith podcast, wherever you streaming. Your favorite podcasts, and we're even going to have a link in the description that you can so easily.
Just click, go, give her a view, go tell people how much you love her and help her grow her podcast. Be looking out for her book in the future. And Tamar just thank you so much for joining us today. It was such an honor to have you on the show. And I, I know for a fact, this is going to bless so many people, so thank you.
My pleasure. Thanks. So true. So much, Trevor. I love what you're doing and keep pursuing him and keep serving the world. Cool. Thank you so much. And we'll talk to you guys next week.
Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sent an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.
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