Get Confident in The Game of Trust: Seeking Past The Battle – With Travis Utmost
Do you ever feel like you’re standing on the edge backward…wanting so desperately to just let it all go out of exhaustion or frustration or confusion but like the game of trust…you just don’t trust ENOUGH that you will be caught?
That the battles are so consistent you can’t hear, see, or even breathe long enough to find clarity and confirmation in the wavering whims of society?
I want to let you off the hook – you aren’t the only one feeling tossed to and fro. But it’s the exact reason we have to find footing in the comprehension of trust and knowing we can only fully rely on God.
By the way, did you know Sweet FROGs the frozen yogurt joint…that’s what FROG stands for. Fully Rely on God.
Ok sorry, I went really heavy and then really light. But sometimes, we need that don’t we? The ability to be DEEP in our faith, but not stress it out to the point of suffocation, to the point of breaking trust because we all we want to do is break free.
When God asks us to trust, He isn’t doing so out of our will or even our ability. He’s doing it because He wants us to allow Him to do it for us. If we could only grasp hold of truly trusting, we would release tension in the areas of our life we think are even most relaxed.
Today’s episode is with Travis Umstot. A believer who is just like you and just like me…wanting nothing more than to humbly trust the Lord, but knowing the importance of pursuing it daily and honestly, doing it blindly.
How badly do you want peace in your life…for me, I know, badly enough to fight for it every single day.
Connect with him here:
Show Notes: Get Confident in the Game of Trust
They all MIAA camera address, I’m your fit in base podcasts and Cueto me your just me. No words, no scripts, no incurs, no altos. I love authenticity, I hope to breed vulnerability, and I usually do this alongside another Dreamer mover shaker entrepreneur, passion is A… Is what I love to call them, if you’re a dude, then a dude, but I am loving just coming together in community with other people to share their high and low stories, to share their journeys to come back, because I believe ultimately that for God would have us he would have us on the mountain top, and even though we learn a ton in the pit and in the valley, God would manuscript now, especially in this season of life, in this time of our culture to shine.
And so here I am, I want to teach you how to shy, I wanna be alongside you when you get your glow, I wanna capable to… In your calling. Whatever that is. So this isn’t a fitness podcast, this is my religious banter that week, Jesus all day long, and this is not just about nutrition or health or wealth, now I lack some greed and I know you do too, it’s not okay for us to not be okay with talking about all of these things at Isan, you guys, we don’t… Nissan mental health podcast, we don’t just need a fitness podcast, who don’t just need a religious spiritual protest. It needs to win.
This is what fit in. Things all about, it’s all about frontline men, Ativan. It’s about pursuing your wholeness and playing it over your life and over the line, a loved one that you have around your career, so thank you for coming again. I would love to get to know anymore, you can subscribe, whatever it is in an email is… I have an amazing team alongside, but you guys are gonna get for now, so enjoy, I’m so have to have a pocket conversation with you is what I’d love to call up, don’t have my coffee right now, but I have it in my system. As you can see, all the love, let’s do this together. And keep going, freedom.
We are a lot, Ed and I teeter. We go with Travis, and I am so pumped to be here, this is Episode 23 of the fit and based podcast, and at the last couple of episodes, I was not even in the state and not in this studio, so it’s really weird to be back in front of bright lights and in my comfort zone sort of, but also it was really cosy to just be in a hotel room, and I posted with the Orient and was just chat.
So Travis is in the out of comfort zone right now, so just be aware of that if you’re watching, just it… Let’s let him ease into… This is right, A bycatch will be good, but reduce… And it’s fun because I was just praying before we got on here that my love language is quality time, and it hasn’t always been quality time, so it’s been fun to watch that evolve and see how God uses that like space to just be… All of my devices are occupied, so I get to just be completely present in… And so I’m grateful to you to just feed here today, we are new friends, growing in relationship around the session that you came in through Morgan or gorgeous, they’ve been on the podcast, we’re gonna then both. So I’m excited to learn more about you today… Okay, see, more time with you, and the biggest thing that I always am thankful for for you, one, that you always come bearing donuts, which could be a bad… Using a informally string diet that I stick to, but it’s also awesome because food is a love language for so many people to the total, and also that whenever we’re sharing, you are always the over president, and so I wanna learn from you how you are that way why you are that way? And I’ve noticed just in your body language that you’re always leading in, and whenever there’s something to be said, you’re so eager, you’re so eager in that it is… I love that. I wanna know how that started and where that stems from, and how God has just moved you to a place of just like, Oh, I feel like it’s just always wanting more, and it’s so good. Okay, and great. ulteri.
So I… Latakia.
And I guess just… So if you just wanna give some back story to where you came from, just give me a good… Okay, so I’m a board and raised in this area here on… So I’ve lived a lie that lived around the Most… My life… Yeah.
Going to church around here, I was raised Baptist.
Okay, and so it wasn’t until, I don’t know.
So even 10 years ago, when I learned the whole spirit, God had all these gifts and stuff like that, I’m like, Yeah, this is not what I’m used to… Sure. 17 years ago. How old were you? About 7 of the 0 years, satyendra, late 20s. Okay, and so at the time I was kind of an on going to Chichi, got saved very on when I would think it was like 16 or something at that.
But often on other and stuff like that, and I haven’t shared much with people about this, but went through a trying time this past year and a half, and which I think I was at the most broken time to my life. Yeah, and at which point, I just remember God just reaching down and said, I need you to trust me in this…
Okay, and there’s a verse that kept on coming, whether it was on Facebook, whether somebody was praying over to me, whatever, and it was exit us 14-14. yeah, and I, I come memory, it was more or less just, I need you to be still and let me fight this, I need you to trust me. Yeah, and so it feels like probably for the past year and a half, yeah, like every day is a fight for my faith, but it’s not like I’m fighting to believe, it’s God just grinding me and Molino make me the loan today.
Yeah, because I was telling you before we started the podcast years ago, when I was going through something… Yeah, there was a dream of stage lights and all that stuff, there was station machine, that’s all audience and things like that. The work I do now with TCC involved stage concerts, conference and stuff like that, I work for a church doing sound equipment, video semen, just trusting is something that I’m learning over these past few years, and it’s a continual thing that I’m doing even now, it’s a hard thing to do.
Yeah, it’s a very hard thing to do, and I really loved the imagery of this concept of grinding, like grinding you because out that her…
I want to feel good, but also I’m thinking of it from a food standpoint, one, because I’m hungry and too, because we were talking about my passion for how food has fueled my spirituality and mindset in such a way that is, I think different than how most people approach food, right?
Thankfully to my husband, who often steered a really good meal, it was National Flinn day on Tuesday, in case you did it that… Okay, What is a… Some plays on the grill, and my girl friends were just raving about the fact that he took this court’s picture and they’re like… That’s awesome. He celebrated that day. I’m like, Honestly, I’m so spoke. That’s on a weekly basis, but the concept of grinding and food and what comes at the end of a grind is something usually really selectable, nor do the… And so I’ve expected for you, okay, to see what that is gonna mold and shape into how that growing process, how that rising process and thinking specifically around baking, that I can just see a rising rising to the occasion of what he needed you to first be… So molded into something that you didn’t expect to be and it comes… You have to have a willingness to trust, because we live in a world today what is like If we don’t figure it out, if we can’t wrap our mind around, if we can’t grasp, but we’re like, No, no.
But that’s not how God is.
We expect for God to come to our our level, he’s like, No, I need you to come to my level, and if I need to change in the process to do that, then that’s what I’ll do.
Yeah, that’s really good. I have, I was in something called Burn 247, and it was a year-long training process around worship, and I’m not a singer, I think I’ve said that in here before, so I won’t… I’m on entities or… But I learned about through the street revivals, amazing, one of the guys, like his prayer during that time, he was a young guy, was to bend me, and I remember reading that and thinking What an odd thing to pray about, and yet I’ve prayed it literally ever since I have read that book.
Yeah, and so to God continue to grind me, I really just love that.
We’ll see, it took some time because when we start to pray in some way, stately is ’cause we is ’cause we want something, whatever or… And I’ve also learned just from past experiences or watching other people do it, if you pray something very specific and it’s very… Got rich in and breaking… Godber like, Alright, this is what you want, but I’ve just come to a place to where I’m just like, I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what needs to be done. So Jesus, I just pray that whatever you will, whatever you will is for me, God, just do it beyond my capacity on what I can comprehend, just whatever your will is, just do it. That’s good.
I don’t want you to break me beyond what I can’t handle all that, ’cause if I don’t ask for too much, I’m not gonna take on that burden, I just go, God, whatever you want.
Just do it. Yeah, I’m good with this. Yeah, that’s what I literally pray because my attention span, after 51 minutes, I’m out, gosh, those are gonna be interesting to as… So I like to eat. It’s okay, but prayer, stuff like this, I get it.
I can only pray for five minutes and then… That’s it. Yeah, but that’s just how I am, I for right. Sure, yeah, and it’s interesting ’cause I’m probably similar, my mind is just in a million places on time, I have tried to quiet it, I have done all the meditation things, have I’ve taken a holy basal extract as like a… Wait, a Cotonou can get calm. I cared. See, medil, I don’t know if I believe in that or what it actually I…
I don’t know, it just hasn’t worked for me yet, or whatever would be, I’ve prayed over, quiet my mind so I can focus on you, and I have found… And this is kinda through a lesson that’s been currently taught to me consecutively is the concept of Marian Martha, and I recently had a gallon who I really less… She’s blessed me in the sense that she’s always been a very example, and I feel like… And how I really just crave being more like Mary, and so recently reading through the Book of John, I start to finish in a three-hour flight from Mexico to California, and I had a four-year-old with me, so that in and of your health isn’t a complete. Yeah, that’s got the pumps, but she was just… I let Luzon now, I had things happen. That’s another conversation, but I really just was like, in goal, in the Book of John, and there are several occasions where Martha and Mary are brought up in the book of John, which I didn’t really… I knew the story of Lazarus and how that happened, but I never… It was never illuminated to me about the concept that Martha was the first to approach lasers seas entering in or not Lars.
I’m sorry, Martha was the first to approach Jesus after Lazarus died at… So Lazarus is dead. They call on Jesus to come and heal him.
And he’s like, Oh, okay, super sad. But he’s like, Okay, I’m gonna ditch out for two days, he doesn’t show up, and everyone’s weird is he… Wasn’t he doing this? This is one of his really good friends.
And when he gets to the town, marks the first to run out to him and like, Where were you… You should have been here.
He’s dead now, he’s dead. And so it immediately struck me that there’s so much purpose in a Martha… Oh yeah, like not only did she know that his presence alone, that I feel are she believed it, but she was eager enough to walk out to him and Mary… The reason that Mary is always so spotlighted is that she sits to the pages us when Jesus comes to their home and artist buying and doing all the tidings, that stuff, but I am that person in my mind… All over, I’m tithing, I’m getting ready for Jesus. Oh, that’s grit.
And to know that I also would be the first degree to…
I was like, Whoa, hold on.
That gives me so much peace. To know that God gives me a spirit of Martha for purpose, I is the Bible for a reason, but also that I can to be a Mary and at my mind… But I’m gonna be the first to let you know that he’s here. I E the first to shout from the rooftops of what he’s done, and that’s part of the reason that this podcast is all because I want other people to know, I want people to get ready for what is… Is gonna do in their life. And if that takes you some tidying up and that takes you some quick tips or tricks or things like, let’s do it, so that you can be prepared enough for your five minutes of glory, for the five minutes that you’re gonna spend with the Lord during your prayer five minutes is it carries a Lord.
Yeah, totally, but it’s also a blink of an ease, there’s times when I can’t… I’m just like, I can’t print, I don’t know if the pay… I don’t know. And so something that’s been helpful to me is soaking music, and so with soaking music, and you can go on YouTube and stuff like that, and you can find different types of soaking us, I worship… I think the… When you do that, when I was listening to… On the way here. Yeah, ’cause I’m like, if I’m listening to regular music, whatever my mind is gonna go, but I was like, I need not just my mind in my spirit, I becoming right now. And so just listening to it, I feel like was not all sleep on the way here.
Let’s see, soaking, what that is, is you’re giving Jesus, you’re on the whole spirit, an imitation, just to connect with you.
So I like when you… When you’re with… When you’re with your husband, just to be in the room with them, you don’t really say anything, but just to be in his presence, it’s just to relax and it’s good… That’s what soaking is. It’s just allowing gods just to be there with you. Hang out with you. Yeah, and he just wants to connect with you, that’s really good. And so for me, they’ll be 10 in a turn and so a music. Yeah, an hour of past but D, I’m like, Well, that was good. I mean more this. Wow, that’s awesome. And I think somebody was explaining this the other day, that when you pray and you don’t have that sense of focus, I believe that God has power over our mind, his power of our heart, I can do a hero, I lose that, that’s… And so if I’m praying and He knows my heart is in the mindset of like, God, I wanna be fear with you right now, and then something triggers in my brain, I’m going somewhere else. He design that way.
Yeah, ’cause there are people who can pray and they can sit there, they could do a 24-hour prayer fast, and they are all in it, and I just… I don’t work that way. Yeah, but my life isn’t that way either… Correct.
And so it’s… And people think that I’m banana stuff, how are you doing all of these things, you’ll also have a real job, you’ll also do this and that and this and that, and I’m like, Yeah, but it’s about how I prioritize my mind. Yeah, and I prioritize my mind as faith first, family second, and then I am all for some fun.
Yeah, I… He goes in with my fun… Yeah, so that’s good, but God, He knows us so well that even in the places that you feel like incongruent… Yeah, he can put that into alignment and put purpose into the places that your mind is running… Yeah, ’cause he can use that for him… Yeah, and for His glory.
You don’t wanna stress fake out.
Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, you think you have to pray and read so much and stuff like that, and you don’t have to… It’s more or less warrior at in your life, ’cause everybody’s a different level. Totally.
So if you can, if you… Sometimes I’m like, I’m gonna have time to read. I just need to get a person or something like that, and it’s okay because that’s just where you’re on line. Yeah, it’s so true. So a year and a half goes. Not that long.
Tell you, I don’t… I never wanna go through that again. However, the lessons I’ve learned, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Yeah, no, yeah, it’s amazing. And we said it before, but that concept, the time, you’ve lived however many years prior to… And then how God can put so much in a year and half.
Correct, and it’s just having a heart to be open and the willingness to go or I got a… Yeah, I am. My trust on… Yeah, and he won’t let you down… Yeah, he’ll build on that trust. He’ll keep you go, they’ll be most… When you feel like he’s not even there. He’s there, but sometimes he’s just quiet. Yeah, it’s a bit… Not a believer, and he is in a…
I don’t know, I guess he’s probably not gonna listen to this on the fine, but he’s in a tough spot and with the government… Let’s put it that way, okay.
I got friends in all the places, okay, I go bring low place, it’s not a place is Texas to A… That’s okay, I got to… And I think that that’s important. I think that that’s a place that God can use us in other relationships, and he will… And I’m seeing it already, but he just had some amazing things happen for what was… What seemingly was detrimental to his life, and so he recognized it that like, Oh, that’s awesome, I’m so pumped, I’m so grateful. And the first thing that has come out of our mouth is, as all God, that is so good, that God is that good even to the sons and daughters that don’t recognize that it’s him. And so Gary and I are talking about the fact that we’re taking not from a far… And sometimes I mentioned it this specific time, I’m like, Just so you know, the thing that’s so great is God PPS… See, I just she saying that A… That’s what we need to say. It’s like when a preacher goes up, the preach… Yeah, it should not be the preachers burning for the result, so I…
God has put that preacher there just to share… To get the Word, it’s up to God for the result.
Well, so even though your friend may not believe, is she saying that, that’s enough of… Yeah, that’s good, that’s really good. So yeah, he laughed, he left it off because he knows my heart and he knows what… That were pastors that… So he was like, Okay, hammerhead that, and he didn’t respond specifically, he knows that’s a posit into His Spirit, He may… Right, and it’s so good. So I’m just excited to see and I know and believe that one day I’m gonna be able to share those pin points, and so being a long… For instance, your dad, so you know you can see it, especially with your eyes open to it in such a different way, the things that are happening in your child’s life there you’re like, Oh my gosh, that’s a God thing. That was all God.
And while we can surely share that with them and we should… Yeah, there’s also the points of glory that God gets just in this client moments, so a thank you, Jesus for allowing that to just happen, let me share that, so let me share this way, so I take my daughter… Of me to church. Yeah, and so before we go to church, I’m also working, so I’m busy getting the micro-friends riding and all this other stuff. Yeah, and I’ve got London who was just like chilling in the play corner… Yeah, it is yelling, daddy and thrown blocks and everything, and I’m thinking, I can’t do all the titan, and so everything’s going to worships happening, everything’s taking place, but then she’ll run up, so let’s not yet today survey, so last night, she ran up next to the pastor and seek a back at shifts all the pastoral worship.
I’m like, This is my daughter, but towards in and everybody’s brain, she gets up there and it’s just soaking it in and sometimes we’ll just start dancing, and I’m like, Got… You’re just like, Yeah.
You’re working on her, yeah.
And even it were these few months of her just dancing there, worship or just laughing while everybody’s laughing, gossiping in her, and all of that stress, even though in my eyes, I’m like, Oh my gosh, this is freaking me out, even for those few moments of her doing that and it is worth… Yeah, it’s so true. And the people that are in your church… Because is that family like? Small environment. Yeah, there USCIS there. Yeah, totally, and I will definitely attest to the fact that when we are in our small church environment and my kids are running around, I get so stressed out as well… Oh my gosh, I so burdensome. I’m like, Oh my gosh, they’re distracting everyone, they’re distracting me. I can’t even focus on what we’re talking about, but at the very same time, just like you said, I can see points where I’m like, That was so good. That was so sweet, even if they’re interrupting the pastor, which they’ve done, and it’s just this moment of clarity where you’re like, Hold on a second, we are called to be like them… Yeah, not the other way around. They’re not said to like, Hey, be wise real quick, and the older we… That’s not the thing that’s a biblical… And so if we could just be more free-spirited and not let the stress of what other people are thinking or even our own conceptualizing of the time… Right, yeah, totally. It’s all good.
So it’s so good, and that’s how children feel from one moment to an ex, they’re on their high as they’re on their lows, and they just are experiencing… We’re so used to being organized as people, God’s like, I’m a jacket or a…
God will shake things around and make you uncomfortable for you to recognize it and go, Let me do things my way… Yeah, and that was what we would talk about, the comfort zone concept, and how we so often live in our comfort in… And we’re okay with that and we stay there in… There’s times where that… That’s okay. Yeah, that’s totally fine.
But there’s moments when God’s like, stuff out, stuff out, and then you just have a little closer in other ways, I would said, Peter, I stay in the boat, I’ll come to you. Exactly, he did it.
I come over here. Try me and let me show you what I can do. Yeah, and he doesn’t do that to make you fail, he does have a help, he trust.
That’s good. Yeah, I love that. In last year and a half, how is your faith differ because you said you came to Lord when you were 16, so how has your faith differed now around… And I’m sure the trust component is one, but through the growing process in the seasons prior to… I tell you, this past year has felt like literally like a workout, so if you’ve never worked out before or you’ve been so authority, then you start working out, it feels like all your muscles and all your bones are starting to break, but then it takes time for those things that come back and heal again, and so this whole year and a half has felt like a constant breaking, but then a healing… Than a constant breaking and in healing, ’cause what happens is when you break bones, we actually heal stronger, the… When they were brought back together.
And so, we’re told about Christianity as a religion, stuff like that, but once you get past that, once you get past that and realize it’s a real relationship, and you get to the point where like, God, I’m gonna trust you, but I need to help you along the way, he’ll do that, but he’s going to do it in a way that’s who him, brings him glory, but it’s also a good plan for you.
If that makes sense.
Okay, all it does.
I feel like the hard part of that, ’cause here I am a pastor in some sense, and you’re learning to trust and give that to the Lord is what… There’s hard…
I feel like practical ways that you can trust… What would you say are yours?
Practical is, as I was like, Okay, that’s great. trust, trust is such a huge word, it’s almost like Christianity is a lost… Like faith, it comes… Yeah, it comes back to that verse that… I can’t make this up. Diverse is a constant Exodus, 14, 14, A.And so I then, though things are happening, yeah, I can feel mentally, physically, I’m being pulled in different ways, I can feel the stress, I could fill a brand, but I have to get past that.
Yeah, and just go, God, you’re telling me to trust you, you give me this first on a regular and you remind me what it’s… So somebody or through the first coming up on Facebook or just something… Yeah, you’re reminding me on the regular… Keep going, keep trusting, and when it’s almost like you’re in the middle of Hurricane and you’re holding on to a pole and the winds are just taking out the rains, you feel like your body is about to fall apart, but you just keep hanging on and keep going because what happens is the storm will go away… Yeah, and you realize either again in…
Yeah, I… At a Osgoode. Yeah, there is a… Yeah, obviously that one. You did it once. You’ll do it again. I ask, I’m hearing that as we’re talking, and I know from being behind the camera and experiencing that over the last five years and now doing it with the church, what do you see from that lens, that angle that you see… You saw differently than when you were sitting in church.
Well, I tell you what, ’cause if it wasn’t for God bringing me back the Church in that way… Yeah, I don’t think I’d ever go back to church. Interesting, because there was a financial need there… Yeah, and it was met and so on behind the camera, not only am I focused on What’s Going… The actual work. The aspect of it, yeah.
But I’m being fed and it’s almost like Jesus God’s force feeding me sometimes, which I’m okay with because I feel like I’ve got a lot to catch up on lab.
I see, absolutely. And so, but being behind the camera and seeing what I’ve seen from different speakers, from different words, everything is all… Is a line… When we all went to the… What is it called? A other… So with the hot holders in a, I said… So there was a word that was given a… Yeah, that was almost the exact same word that was given at the church not too long ago.
We’ve talked about it. Yeah, he got… And so when I’m behind that camera… And I can always go back to the recordings. Everything just lines up.
Yeah, and I’m like, This is like a movie platelets.
I just close my mind, I can’t grasp it. Yeah, but that’s kind of the idea.
Yeah, because if we could grasp out, if we could figure out that he’s at our level, but that will never have a… And I think I had had so much fervor for the conversation that night session when you were like… You were like, Oh my God, I got all the fields right now, I have got to show something and I historical feel it, and that’s when you talk about me, my eagerness. Yeah, a lot of times.
I don’t really wanna even say anything, it’s just cool to be there… Yeah, but what the topics aren’t the flow and it get to me, I’m like, Oh my gosh, I’m about to explore and I can’t keep quite a… Yeah, yeah, it’s so good. So this is an interesting concept of weird parallel as well, because my kids go to a Quaker school, and I didn’t really know what Quakerism was prior to enrolling them. Do you have any… That he… That’s a… It… Exactly, yeah. This visual of this lady on the on body, so it’s a sector of Christianity off of Protestant, which I don’t know much about provision either, but Quaker specifically have this belief that everybody within them has an inner light, and as educators and the education system that our job is to make that inner light shine. Everyone’s like is different.
I’m like, I can get down with that. Everyone’s different.
Got Bansal unique. And so, let’s help you be unique, that uniquely… You right, I get it. They also worship without sound, and so it’s a silent worship…
I got it that I… To do work there early, we get you to do five minutes so they could even know what sound during the worship, but where the parallel comes into is that they believe that if you have something bubbling inside of you… Of your palms get sweaty. If you feel like you’ve butterflies in your stomach that what you’re simmering on is not meant for you, it’s meant for the collective whole, which is what exactly what happens when you’re sitting there and you’re like, Oh my God, this is not… I have to share this. And it has to get out of me. Correct.
And so these little kids as early as three years old, are learning how to steward the Holy Spirit without being told that it’s the Holy Spirit, but the cool thing about bringing babies home from school as we have the opportunity to steward what that message looks like… Right.
And so I am not fearful of any of the concepts that they learn, they don’t have practice Quakerism other than literally that time of worship, but they don’t say, We’re gonna do quite her worship, they just say, we’re coming together as a community and a moment of silence. I think the world needs to do that more often, and people are welcome to stand up and share if they feel like what they’re simmering on has meant for everyone, but it’s just… It’s been really interesting to see my really loud child, the one who local all the time, it is a lot… Oh yeah.
So for a great… Oh gosh, I have to tag that. Here he is, he is a good but… And then the other one who’s fairly quiet and reserved, probably what you would be if you’re in a large group of setting and she’ll take them like and stand up and share for… And it blows my mind the variation that happens when you give children the space to experience that client-ness with themselves, so while there’s… The world is moving a million miles a minute, and there’s 100 children sitting inside of a school house, it makes you realize the opportunity that God has across the nations at one given time inside… Just children. Oh yeah, it’s a wild. Yeah, and to see those things like being foster, just like you said, your daughter up on stage dancing, she’s Compton a be a worse for a… She does gonna be part of her gifting because she’s surrounded by it right now, she sees it in such a tangible way, it… Correct. So it’s exciting and interesting, but I’m really grateful for that community… Yeah, no, that’s good. Especially kids today, I think as we go farther through time and stuff like that, God’s gonna use children in a bigger way towards the latter part of this life, and you can see that now, even like the generation were in the younger generation, like the 1892 year-old they are eager to find that there’s more to this life than what their Experian now… Yeah, and I think it’s our job, even being on the young respect, God sees all of us as children, Rowe and our humanity CA, we see what’s happening to our bodies, and our base is a hair cellar also… Yeah, in… But it’s our job to steward every generation, even performing, but they’re after, and so for us to realize that we do need to pour in what we’re learning, so… I’ve heard it said and I’ve experienced it myself, but this concept of a quarter-life crisis, I never heard of inserting or all your mid-life crisis, but everybody experiences is… I feel like more people are having this really traumatic experience in their late 20s, early 30s, and I happened… Just so sitting at the table, it happened with us, and it’s happened with a lot of people that have been on the other side of this microphone, and just the people that I’m surrounded by, and so they’re coming into life sooner than I think the mid-life crisis typically was happening in what our society says it is, but yet now we have the opportunity to share with an even younger before any of them have to go through our trial. Right, and I don’t know from our parents standpoint, if that was something that they were encouraged to ever share, I don’t know, I just feel like the word would live in now, obviously, it seems like the world’s more fast-paced, it’s getting faster. And like you said, the court life crisis is hitting the generation at a younger level, but at the same time, it’s like through technology, everything… People are becoming more connected. Yeah, like they can get a whole news or somebody in a split second, and I just think it’s just how God is just kind of chest piece and everything out because God is gonna get a hold of everybody one way or the other… Yeah, and I don’t know, it’s just an observation of a snow there so many people who had this horrible perception of that fast pace of the internet, of the accessibility of social media, all of those things, and I’m just constantly stated in a space of like… I think you can use it. I’m gonna show up there because I think God’s in everything to… And if he didn’t want it to happen. It wouldn’t exist.
Yeah, and while man is… We have our own ways of doing things. God’s still in control. Whether we think we’re the ones inventing it or not, God gave those ideas… Yeah, envisioned the gave, the vision gave the birthing of all of those things, and I’ll go back to what my pastor I mentioned yesterday, he said, If you really think, Man, we’re in charge and we know we don’t start in joke, I 38. yeah, and just start reading and talk and listen to God and how God questions Job and says, Joe, did you put the solicitor in new orbit?
Did you do this? Did you do that? Yeah. How smart do you think you are… Yeah, no, yeah, guys like I’m not ever lasting got up, even though he’s behind the scenes, and we may not know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re in… Not behind the scenes, in the front of it, I have the tattoo on my end of the SOL life from that song by song, and talks about how even the rocks cry out for the Lord and… And maybe it’s in silence and the ways, or His tender and the lights and the stars in the sky, they like all are all for God. It’s so Ali and so I realize all the time on a given basis, and this is my first tattoo, other than a tiny one about my children that I can see visually all the time, ’cause these different parts that you can’t see… Yeah, and it is a constant reminder of, Oh wow, hold on. No matter what I’m doing right now, if I were being Lord right now, am I praising his name right now? And no matter what I’m doing, it could be a medal as a grocery shopping, that I have the ability and the call to worship Him, He made me to do that, and when you do that, that you… Showing trust to him. Yeah, yeah. Like the tangible way. That’s so true.
That so… And what you’re talking about how as we get older, we kinda do our own thing, or you just want us to trust and like you, He is our Father, and he just wants us to trust Him, and sometimes with one and she gets… She goes up on stage and she just… And it’s like, God just wants it just to just chill, just dress up and don’t stress so much. Don’t over think things. Just a trust, I am who I say I am.
And just go with the flow a…
I had a girlfriend this morning who… I’m very close, a family, I’ll put it that way, and she said he was like, just kinda having a moment where she’s like, I am so overwhelmed. Her child is too. And he’s just off the wall. The nana is doing all the things, he’s a typical boy really is what is a… He’s no different than my child was, who is a little bit Annus, but he’s no different than any other boy, and it’s her first experience with motherhood, and so she doesn’t know what to expect or what’s right, or how am I supposed to protect them? Or, I can’t do this and I can’t do that, and I’m just like, you know, just like the…
I like, look at it, he’s healthy, he’s strong, he’s so happy and I not… Things going along with them. You just got a chill. You can’t be in control of the things that you thought you were gonna be in control… You aren’t given a girl you were giving like… So then you could release this because otherwise you’re gonna hold so tight to what you believe is the right case scenario or the right circumstance or the right even landing to go in a total different direction, but the right job or the right family dynamic or the right number of children or the right financial bracket, we try so hard to control…
God’s like, I’ve got you, I’ve got him, I made him that way.
For a purpose that you’re gonna one day see, yeah. To A, you don’t have the understanding of it yet because our capacity is so small, our vision is so limited, and so if we just… If we can just Let the reins go just a bit… A lot. A bit, yeah.
Yeah. Oh yeah, I, I, I that in where the force would leave… Yeah, it’s gonna go to a pastor that you would never have otherwise, and so it’s just that I need… And how do you get there when we’re so clenched fist… How do you get there? Really, if we’re so clinched fist as people and wanting to organize their lives and solid… There’s nothing wrong with that. Yeah, it’s just that when we’re just like, We’re gonna do it, I’m gonna do it my way, and that’s a… That’s kind of what we fail, but it’s what we fail when we’re broken, God’s like, I am there to a set… Come with me, Trinidad, you can still play because still play in Cortland, do things of that nature. But if we are so high strong to do it our way and there’s no other way, eventually there’s gonna be kinks in the plan, and eventually the foundation will start to crack and eventually it’ll start to crumble, but God can make good out of that.
So tell me, in your life, and you don’t have to go into crazy details if you don’t want to, but where are the crumbling pieces for you, what has kept you to where you are now in that eagerness even before maybe the year and a half, like trials that like you to trust. Right.
I come from a divorced family, and so the way it was explained to me was, having come from a divorced family at such a young age, my trust was already skewed in the sense, and it was not necessarily their fault, it’s just… That’s how it was.
And so trust is something that’s always kind of been hard for me, but over the past few years, especially in this past year and a half, Jesus, God has just turned that around in such a way that… Because I was so like, gonna do with my way, you know a man… Yeah, but really trust in God and what He said He’s gonna do, the east allowed me to trust others.
Yeah, that’s good.
And it takes a burden and stress off that you just don’t want… It’s so hard to walk around his life to not be able to trust people.
I hear you, I feel like I’m still sort of living in that way, but I… Because I do have that trust for the Lord, it releases them from the expectation that I otherwise would have health… Yeah, and not just that, but when you trust God like that, he’ll bring the people that are posting in your life and don’t take the people that post out of your life… Yeah, it’s so true.
And again, he’s leading you through that versus you leading yourself into a place of destruction… Yeah, the single-handedly did myself, so I know orally now, these will be my friends, this will be my job, this will be my title, this will be all of the things that were unhealthy for me and say I was there, I was definitely in that broken space where he’s like, Okay, sweet girl, yeah.
Now, let me show you my way… Yeah, and God will let you do your thing. Yeah, you don’t. You won’t in ferrite your free will.
People always wonder about that. I hear that a lot of non-Christian who are… I shouldn’t say non-Christian, that’s horrible, but just non-believers, they just don’t believe in the Lord, and they’ll say, Well, if God was real, then why would he let this happen to my loved one, or if God was real, then he would fix this situation and would you know, as pastors at that’s part of faith is understanding that we can’t understand it all, that’s why we trust and how we trust to, but God lets everything past their his fingers good and that… Right, not because he’s a bad father, but because he wants the floor in the end, because otherwise man would take it and they would say, Oh, I fixed it, I ended up getting… Well, I ended up choosing the right path and then fixing everything on… Or under our own control.
Right. That’s a tough one, ’cause that’s something that, especially with the past year that I was like asking a…
I think I’d probably be the part of a coffee table or two trying to ask that question, but in the Bible, it talks about not necessarily you having all the answers, trust me.
It can be blind sometimes, yeah.
You know? Yeah, he needs you to trust Him before the storm… In the storm. After the storm, right?
Because he’s not gonna be like, Well, here all the answers, I’m gonna tell you why right now, he’s just saying, Trust me, and you’ve gotta come to that place where it’s like, it’s so freaking. curse word hard. But you’re like, Okay, I am going to trust you.
And when you can get to that place.
It’s so worth it, yeah.
But it’s still tough at times, but I’d rather trust God that… Not trust him at this point. Especially to this world that we live. A, I had a friend who was talking about… He actually physically put himself in the dark and what turns of the likes and makes himself walk through the dark, and most people in this specific scenario that he’s talking about, really scared to do it because it’s just a really huge gaping black space, like a black hole imagine walking into a black a… He’s in a genius, but the… Doesn’t feel like a… Literally were like, I’m not doing that. Can you come with me? Or, I don’t wanna do that job. Somebody else can do it and they’re a pole to walk in and Juneau in the pitch black.
And so we were relating this, and he was telling me about how he has almost an intrigue to that darkness, ’cause he’ll do it to put himself out of his comfort zone to the…
I like… To the other side, everything gonna be okay, now we… Again, he’s just Nigam, something’s walking into a black… And he knows what’s gonna be on the other side, is that in a light, we’re always gonna have decisions and opportunities and things that feel like you’re walking into a black hole, we do not know the outcome… Yeah, let or right.
And we have choice, we have free will. God gave us that blessing as well, which is also a curse, so she would just say, Go this way to… Yeah, I’m over here. It would have been much easier, but he did it, and so I chose left, got destroyed, and he’s like, You gotta go this long route now to come back over to where I am, but I’m honestly, it’s gonna be worth it when you get here. Yeah, so the concept of like, I’m gonna walk this way. Or this way, God shows up at both locations, sometimes you chose… Right, and you feel like, Oh my gosh. This is such a blessing. This is a win.
Yeah, and sometimes you’re like, This was a loss. But he’s still there. Yeah, and so to recognize that no matter what decision you make in life, if you’re unsure, if you don’t know how to trust, if you just truly wanna clench fist and walk through life that way… Either way, God’s still there, right? And you can do that, but if you do the trust, but not just that, it’s like tuning your radio, the more you trust and the more that you spend with God at analogy, the more that you have that devotional time, even if it’s for a minute, say whatever the case… Yeah, the more you tune your radio, the God… The morale here, a, the… The more you know when you’re walking someone, you’re like, Okay, I think to get this way, not because it’s my intuition, but God say Go that way.
Oh, that’s so true, that’s so true. And that’s, I think, a really tangible thing as well, and I think I’ve talked about that before with somebody on the podcast about her in God… How do you hear God? What does that even mean? And there’s that subconscious experience with the Lord, He’s within you, He is a spirit within you, He was a guiding light, He is the compass.
Right. And so he will tell you, I get your attention the way… You’ll recognize them. Yeah, that’s good. Yeah, ’cause otherwise you would just keep going. Yeah, ’cause if it was the same for every person, some people may miss it… Yeah, but he’ll get your attention, he will just get your attention or… Yeah, a… He sees your language. Exactly, no matter what language you speak. Core. Yeah, it’s so good.
Yeah, the attention isn’t always the best thing, and that’s what I told my friend and I was explaining to him like, Listen, you can choose this way, and God also knows how to bring wrath, it’s also biblical that… And I don’t wanna be there, I don’t want to… To lord or that experience of what it feels like then to walk in and through the concepts of sham and Gil, and he would never put that on you as a child, but we do it as man, and so I’ve experienced those emotions. And they are not easy to walk out of, or you can go this way and he’s gonna show up in that capacity, and you’re gonna know a…
I think, you see, I chose the right way. You don’t always know it is like to be… And that’s why we are so thankful to God for grace.
Yeah, I… Yeah, ’cause without grace, man, is so true.
And I do feel like as Christians and the more I surround myself with people who believe in the Lord, we have this true desire to shed grace on others, to teach them grace in a human way, so that they can conceptualize the grace that they’re given through the cross, right?
And here’s the thing, so you don’t necessarily even have to force it on somebody, because I… And you can try and I’ll be friction, and it’s not gonna work, but God will put those people in your path that are ready to receive it, and he’ll give you the words to say or whatever the actions may be, for them to receive it, again, it’s… You’re not responsible for the result, you’re just responsible to be obedient.
Yeah, it’s so good.
That was a part of… I didn’t tell you this part when we were talking about my book before… No, the whole way, the concept of me even knowing that I was supposed to write a book happened through a desire of a prophetic, I wanted to be prophetic, I want this, if I think this is so rad, I wanna understand it. Again, through burn 247, clearly more people need to do this ’cause it was amazing experience for me, and it has been for others, but I was for three hours one night praying into and over the fact that I wanted this gift… Yeah, and they said, Pick one of the five gifting and find which one you want and just pray into it, and God hears… He hears every call that his children want, just like you hear when Mommy’s…
I do like your children are crying in the middle of the night and you’re like, Oh, that’s my baby, so when I’m going, he hears that apparently he knows who it is, he knows when… And so I’m sitting in the next day in a coffee shop and I see this guy out of the corner of my eye over and over and over again, and I’m not looking for him, he just keeps popping into my line of say, while I’m working… I’m blogging at the time, and I got full body chills, started sweating and chills all at the same time. Okay, started crying. I couldn’t even conceptualize it was a crying and all of it was just like… It was almost like he had this, he… Lalit was all for this guy, and I’m like, Oh gosh, he’s in his mid-40s like, not my type at all. So that was a good… Yeah, is it… Clearly there was a there, so I made a ton a and I, I close the computer and I’m weeping, go to the… That front, I’m like, Oh my gosh, God, I’m trying to call all my resources at this point, I’ve called my first person I call my worship… My prayer warrior, we have a group of girls, all the iron swords, and we’re just prayer warriors for one another, and so I call her… She doesn’t answer. So the next person I call my pastor, and Anthony doesn’t answer. The next person I called Gary and I’m like, Come on, he’s got a answer, he answers every phone call at a iodine answer, and the whole time that everybody’s calling and it’s just void is I hear just do it. Just do it, just do it. Like the nine commercial, I didn’t have an estate.
Not at you, like the, Oh, to do this. And so I knew exactly what he was telling me to do, and I was like… When I got to the bathroom, I was like, What is happening? Who was this person? Why is it happening? And he said, I’m supposed to go tell him that he has a boat within him, and that’s it. I don’t know anything else. I have to blindly trust that that seed is gonna grow based on the obedience of my action to go to a stranger in the coffee shop that I frequent all the time, weeping and tell him that he has to write a book, I look like a freaking crazy as a…
Yeah, I pay for it. Then you go… So I got a white, that’s what I’m careful he or I got would’ve be a little file, I got it clear as day by drying my make up, looking the mere… Like this really happening. And just do it, just do it.
Okay, I’m shaking ’cause I don’t deal with stress situations like that at all, it is sort of confrontation, but it wasn’t a conversation, I just had to do something I was comfortable with, and this guy leans up And I’m sanding above him at this point, definitely can tell him and cry. And he’s like, Hi, hey, I am so sorry to interrupt you.
I just got this overwhelming sensation that I needed to tell you something, and I don’t know if you’re a Christian or not, and he interrupted me, thank the Lord for affirmation, that he was like, Yeah, actually I am crosses and looking up at me like the sweet little girl, what’s about to happen? I know, God, what are you gonna say?
Yeah, and I was like, I don’t know what this means, but God just told me to tell you that you have a book within you and a story that you’re supposed to share with the world, and he smart. And he turned his computer to me and he said, it may appear that I am writing… I could see how you could think that, but I’m actually a mani numbers and the whole thing was just as of spreadsheet of, I don’t even know, ’cause there was no dollar sign, so it was just not hers. Okay. And I was like, Oh, okay. So immediately I start to doubt myself and I’m like, I don’t know what that means. I’m not sure what… I don’t know, I’m just telling you what I am told and you did your part is, I like to… And so he was just kind of not of his head and he smiled really big at this point, he was like, Well, that was really brave, the feel… I hope you have a good day. Didn’t get any other information, be lined out the door because I was completely mortifie, start weaving again, out of like, I can’t believe you just made me do that, but also… I look like a complete fool. Did get a hold of MPA at that point, and he said that exact thing, he was like, Tara, he are only called to be obedient, you won’t probably ever see him again, but you’re not gonna know what is supposed to be said, or what is gonna become of that, but you did what you were called to do, even out of your uncomfortably. Yeah, four months goes by. And this is right before I understand what the book is about. I’m sitting in the exact same coffee shop, almost where he was sitting at this point is coincidentally, and this guy walks in, and I go to this place all the time, I’ve never seen him again, and he sits right next to me and eats a piece of Kesh and this is not the same guy, same exact, the same guy. First time I’ve seen him and I’m like, This is not happening. I do not wanna see this guy I so mortified that was so embarrassing, I can’t even make eye contact with them, so again, blogging, clicking, or here I’m noting, I have no… And I’ve only see my computer, I swear I can’t even see the fire out of me is all… And so he stands up after he eats his entire tricks, his entire coffee, he did, he was on Peter typing away in this time he was on the pen, he was just sitting quietly, snapping is on his Co. and at this point, he’s literary my table, it’s like… He’s right there.
It is start. I look at the student, so I like to lead back and like, Hey, this is the first time you’re seeing over the last 30 minutes you’ve been sitting there and he’s like, Hey, he was like, I saw your right and I walked in and I was like, Yeah, he’s like, I’m really glad that I saw you because ever since I’ve seen you, I knew that what you told me was actually meant for you in a… The same exact wave of emotion came over me, a gating chills, the whole thing, and I started crying and I was like, Wow, thank you so much, and I didn’t… I just was shocked. And again, embarrassed, I’m like, I need to get up, ’cause this is… This guy is probably like This poor or All Weather is going on, and he smiled and he walked away the sin on a never seen the guy again, and I go to that coffee shop all the time, and so literally within seven days, I had written 165 pages of a book I have to publish. Next mind be, I don’t know I… There’s nothing else I… Or awesome. The crazy thing is, is because, and I continue to pray into that prophetic gifting, and it has only happened one other time… Yeah, and I still want it. And so God, if you hear me on this microphone right now, Oh boy, he’s gonna hear so I and I will be obedient to your word, because it was the most uncomfortable I’d ever been in a scenario with a stranger, and it was completely worth it. Good, but then I wonder, it being for me, was it made for there would be this for this four-month duration, again, you have no idea, and then I acted on what I felt I had the two at, didn’t know four months before, you’re just… You’re not supposed to work out the result… Yeah, you just, you just don’t Bachata.
Yeah, it’s pretty wild. Yeah, it’s good though. Yeah, it is. So you’re walking in blind faith right now, not knowing where God’s going, where he has you, why he has you in the place that he has, other than that brief vision.
Well, there there have been prophetic words, and I don’t wanna share that, I want to see what’s gonna happen, but when it’s by different individuals, and it’s pretty much the same word, I’m like, Okay, I’m gonna tie this to my heart… Yeah, and I don’t try to analyze. I just said it accept, I just go with it, I just go with the flow, it… And that’s really… Today, even be a podcast, I’m like, God, what are you doing up there? And like, What is going on? And I’m not, I’m not exactly as price because I’m like… I feel like it’s almost like a starting point of the words that have come about this, and I’m like, Wow, I’m just gonna keep being humble and just keep grinding… Keep doing what I gotta do.
Wow. If cameras asked me to come in a precast, I’ll do it, that’s fine.
It’s so good to… Hold on. What are you talking about?
I see, I’m just… I’m not necessarily for… Of a challenge. Yeah, but I… If we’re talking about God, and this is, if I’m in front of the camera, okay.
And when the camera goes off and I go, I’m not even worry about the result, and you’ll pick up my daughter and not think twice about it. Yeah, it’s so good. And it’s been such a blessing, and I hope that my uncle listens to this specific podcast and he probably will cause due not only enjoy the Tevis ’cause of the related ability factor. Right, I told you that’s been just a couple weekends ago, having him call and say In millennia year old man, listening into something that I never would have imagined he would have ever tuned into, and he knew how to download the app, so that that itself… I’m impressed uncle to me, but to know that your words, they do carry weight and they do carry such importance that can affect change in the heart of people anywhere, and it’s always for me, and I feel like if we can stay in this place of humility, it’s always for the one.
Yeah, and sometimes… That one is just for you.
Yeah, it… If you can really, when you trust God, you learn to be humble because you don’t take advantage of where you’re at, when you start to have pride and you start to get ahead of God. God will let you do your thing.
First it’s like pride comes before the fall… Oh yeah, yeah.
And so for me, it’s like I feel blessed and gracious and the fact of the people that are involved in my life right now, the jobs that I have my daughter… Whatever, God wants that I’m good with it. You know?
Yeah, so it’s so good, man. It’s pretty amazing to see and to know, excuse me, that just within a year and a half that you’ve had such transition in your life… Yeah, and to know that… I remember just writing my bio last year and then my bio this year to go to the same conference, reading the words, I was blown away what God did in my self-identity in one year… Good.
And so I know that there are such power in God’s gracious timing, and that it doesn’t matter. I know there are a lot of people who may be listening who are in their 40s, 50s, 60s, whatever that is, and they feel like their time is up or that they’ve wasted something and don’t look at it as a waste. Look at it, is that what you get the opportunity to still do, and I would have loved to have come into my faith in my relationship with the Lord, that was in my faith, but in a relationship with the Lord sooner.
Sure, you would have loved the same thing, but I know that it was so purposed for me, and it’s my story, it’s my testimony for… For purpose, with purpose.
And ultimately, God gets the glory in that.
And I say the Perth is coming to my mind. He is the best, is yet to come.
To the people who think like, God’s done using me and all that stuff.
God is saving the best for last, especially before he comes back for His church, God’s gonna go all out and he will use it.
Yeah, to both peoples month. It’s so true, including things that people think are bad set of social media… Yeah, and I always have to nail that head because I feel like it’s a place that can be used for destruction as is so many things, media in and of itself has been doing it on TV when it sends… It’s been skewed by all of the different outlets for year, so it was before there was something else that man can tweak anything to be negative, but I can tweak everything to be positive, and what’s really good is the fact that God will have a last word over all it’s so true and it’s so interesting, and because I have the desire for my entrepreneur or mine to see the vision, I wouldn’t like seal and I don’t wanna know the notion picture, I know what that’s gonna look like in my small capacity.
Heaven and Heaven on Earth, and God coming for all of His children at some point, wherever I at that point, but it’s that the understanding of being a Noh long cited that each of the things that are happening in my realm of influence are being touched by the Lord by us, again, trusting but also being strong enough in our faith to place in before us, and it’s a hard thing to do because… But if I know that he’s there in the dark… Oh yeah.
How much easier is it to walk in the art… Oh, totally.
So in their strategic way that I feel like you can literally put that by speaking and out before it happens, by declaring a word over your life, by declaring His words specifically.
Oh, you were here like, not a word.
His word over your life before it even happens, I pray for my children, I don’t know what they’re gonna be, I don’t know what they’re gonna encounter, who they’re gonna encounter, where they’re gonna go, I have no idea, but I can pray it out, will… So here’s that call, and he already knows what their lives are gonna ensue, but I believe and what has experience in my life in the last almost four years is like it happens, it always happens, ’cause he always has that good plan and we’re praying into His goodness he wants to show us. Oh, totally right. Yeah, he doesn’t wanna hide anything from us, it’s just the fact that we need to align our will as well… Yeah, and that just… Sometimes that just takes some humbling, but also takes trust and that’s what a labels down to… Yes, again, we are people that we want to… We wanna see the vision before we start it, if you wanna see the end result before we even conceived the… Even begin anything, and God is like, No, I needed to trust my vision or just start walking. Yeah, yeah, and I think that’s just a testament to this concept of retreat planning, which that was the whole reason we came together, was your insight into event planning and like… What does that look like? So having a plan for a date, and then instead of all the fine-tuning and all the pieces in the planning in and of itself has so many point A, point B is the outline.
The at the other assets, I O-organized, if… And I’m that way. That’s the type of person, if I’m gonna speak in front of an audience, and Anthony knows this about me. I’m right it all out. Everywhere it’s gonna be written, I’m gonna let the Holy Spirit go once I haven’t memorized. But I want that control.
Sure, I found in my last couple of speaking engagements that when I don’t do that kind abuses me in such a way that I don’t even know what I said, it might not make any sense, but I see the response.
And that’s only Jesus, that’s why I do not script these, that’s why we don’t come with a plan, that’s what I don’t even tell you anything… You just put you on the MIT, I’m getting excited me, ’cause I wanna share something testing… If you get a chance, go in. You too. Okay, and look up the gentleman by name of Smith, who’s worth a first thing, MIT last names, Wiggles or… If you can’t find out the YouTube, look up a revival radio TV.
Okay, and look for the videos of Smith boos worth. Okay.
He was an uneducated man. Okay, the only book he ever read in his whole entire life was the Bible… Okay.
He couldn’t read.
I, he would base on the knowledge of what I’ve learned of him, he didn’t even know how to speak, he would go up in front of people like to preach whatever, and he would start talking and he would fumble his words like he had nothing to say. Yeah, but as soon as God is as a whole spirit hit em.
Everything just flowed out. It was like Jesus was standing back there.
He wore healed people. Lies are being changed. And he was just this guy. He was like, God, I trust you. What you said in your Word, I’m gonna trust you. I’m educated, I’m stupid, I don’t know anything else, but I’m gonna trust you. And sometimes God is like, we try to script things because I… So I… So yeah, no, I do, yeah.
So if you get a chance to look at that, when we try to script a… Come in here today, I’m like, What am I gonna say? And I’m like, now, I’m not gonna say not the… Yeah, whatever you want, God.
Yeah, and so everything that we’ve said here, I’m just like, okay, go, this is what you wanted to say, so cool. It’s so cool and it’s so crazy ’cause… And we’re 23 episodes in, so it’s not a ton, but it’s enough to think that there’d be redundancy and because of we’re kinda connecting a… Got it. So not redundant, and even in his brain dislike… Yes, he’s good. He’s always good. So you’re expecting there to be redundancy and his goodness… It’s so not true. And see that kid, that’s what kind of freaks me out a lot, I…
I love that because I’m like, I… From the dream that was given to me years ago… Yeah, everything about Gerhart now, I’m like, God, I really have no idea what’s going on here, and everything on me outside is telling me to look this way or that way, comprehended figure it out, and I’m just…
I like the fact that with what was work, he’s like, Jesus have you said it, I’m gonna believe it and I’m gonna go with it, and that’s where we have to get into the word more, because if you’re not… And I can be myself of this all the time because I will let a verse fuel me or I will let somebody else’s blog, feel me that is derived from Bieber, a Bible story, or like I have the first five app that I have that she’s worthy app and a half the she reads truth app, and I have all of these things. And it’s amazing, I love walking through Bible studies with women, and I love that.
Yeah, but I… Until you literally approach the word in your vulnerability and your in significant mind of the wiggles worth mind, I’m gonna use his last name. Is a verb now. Okay, the titles were the… Is that you need to come with the anticipation that he’s gonna show up for you, and you don’t have to bring anything to the table… Yeah, because so often I’m overwhelmed, I’m like, where am I gonna start?
And I’ve done, I’ve tried to do the whole read the Bible in a year at thing, all of those, and I always felt like it was a job like, Oh my gosh, I went to sleep in and then I feeling shame about something that’s supposed to bring such light and goodness, or feeling trapped by something that’s fostering like all of the glory of the world, and yet I was like, Okay, I failed.
But God is not like, he doesn’t care for so anything he’s forgiven me already for that, it’s just the fact that he wants us to show up just to your dad, he just wants you to come to dinner… Yeah, he just wants to be with you. He just wants to hear about your day… Exactly, and I… For me, there’s somebody talk, I don’t know what… I’m gonna be the only app I have Bill Withers the holy bolster. Yeah, and so I’ll choose a play, like a five play or have data plan… Yeah, and I’m just do it. Yeah, it’s not necessarily geared to something specific… Yeah, I’m reading the book of John, I… Yeah, I said inside was John Chapter 2. yeah, I’m thinking it mess to be superstructure, but this year, no, I just reset, I let it get into my spirit, I moved on with my day.
Interesting. Yeah, that’s a really easy way.
Yeah, just go. Just come as she says.
Exactly, and so if we try to stress about spending time with God or think we gotta be super spiritual that…
Yeah, we just go to heaven.
Yeah, we just in time with them early.
Yeah, and you just keep going. It’s not supposed to hurt, because when you’re out the bat in your day, like you were at the coffee shop, and all of a sudden God just hit you, that’s when it’s like, Okay, all this stuff is coming back to remember and stuff like that. Right.
But when this site… You and him.
Yeah, it’s just a Hilton.
Yeah, and it’s so cool ’cause just when I was reading the book of John, and I didn’t even know the part, I don’t even know because I don’t read the book of John, but finish at any given time in my life, and it was so crazy the… So many homes, I just have to have a conversation, I’m an IT and feeling is, right now, this is happening. And so he’ll illuminate the word, and that word eliminate was my work. I own that word in so different ways because I want to illuminate the lives of others by everything that I do, because I want the light that is already within me to just be so bright that it makes you shine a… But when He eliminates things for me that then exude elimination for others, if fierceness an incredible way, and it’s almost like… It literally feels like he’s highlighting… Here’s my gosh, me read that one time that’s been as I never even seen members before… When I’ve read this before, yeah.
So, you know, Anthony, when he does his messages, he says, I’ve read this verse 5-00 times, not really, I’ve read this verse a times, and something new comes out like that sounds preacher-Esq. But it’s not, it really is. What season of life you’re in, and what openness do you have to it in that time of your life? Yeah, eating. Yeah, so here you read the Bible, start again. Yeah, and just keep it like a finger would feed your body… You eat every day. Right, sometimes to endow what you’re gonna eat, right?
Just when you get into the it… Well, just start rating how interesting, I’ve never really thought of that parallel or it just came up because I was gods all those per… Just throwing that out ’cause I had no idea I was gonna say that as really… When you just start, you know, you just start reading and eventually God… Well, just get… You need to get… And imagine if we thought of that time with the Lord or if we use the Bible, and our meal times, for instance, just from what you were just saying, and we needed it, we need food, because we have such a relationship with food… Yeah. And we always think about it, I’m Gary, so was it. I’ve never known anybody in my life that when they eat breakfast, they’re eating breakfast and they’re talking about what they’re in for lunch, that’s me, I love to plan in my life at… Where are we going for dinner? What a… Well, you feeding your spiritual is just important as you Pascal a 100% as you do not feed your spiritual body… Yeah, it’s gonna start and… Yeah, and your spirit, man. It becomes… When that becomes a week, everything else… It is a week. Yeah, but whether you think you’re strong or not, and I clearly, I’ve been in the gym my whole life, whether it was a gymnastics gym or the gymnasium at school, or actual facility as A… And never really had major gaping points, but boy, was I spiritually starved. And no one would have known it from the outside, but I knew it, and I knew it so desperately knew it, it was sad and scary, and even when I see pictures of myself, circle for years ago versus now, I’m like, Oh my gosh, I was so depraved was so sad, even though I’m standing there smiling and everyone else around me was like, Oh, she’s the best.
So it’s really interesting how God can… He can feel you, we can feed you who just understand that from just the depth of the Bible of the Word, of His word, and it doesn’t have to be hard either now, the… Yeah, and that’s where I think we complicated, we complicate trust, we complicate faith, shortly complicate religion a, and yet where we don’t complicate relationship in the same capacity. And that is what it is. So I’m thinking back to my quality time gratitude, I’m just like, This is so good, a God always shows up even in our discomfort and allows us to just follow him, so… Thank you, Rose.
The eateries at the… They got any final words?
No, I trust just that’s the topic and I’m so excited to unpack it, my favorite part of these is to go back in reflection and get to Pret… I do script and prep the interest, but there’s so much meat and then they take an hour and I pack it into a minute, and so it’s poly-liar ’cause I love to write, so how can I play with these words and see to come so I’m excited for you to hear that very… Because this is really good. I appreciate you, I think for… Yeah, so our guys… And I’m your kitten faith Post, and I am so excited to just be here to share with you other lovers, dreamers, shakers, entrepreneurs, masters, whatever.
If you go ahead and you got a hard, I’m so cited to explore who that is, who you are, and discover your wholeness, your health, your well, and your joy. I love to Zoo happiness, I want people to know a trilogy. This came with a lot of effort, I came with a lot of lows and so many highs, and I want us to experience those together, this is a real community of dreamers, and I’m excited to help Italy calling your kingdom experience the purpose of your intent on the world wherever. However, that is so come long for the ride. I’m excited to chat with you. Comment, review in museum. Send me an email. It’s me responding. Even though I have an incredible team. And so I’m just excited to get to know you. Let’s connect lessee.
I just walk in or call in A…