From the Pit to the Palace, Using Pain for Purpose, with Ashton Cantou
God can use your pain for purpose, and that is what we are talking about today with Ashton Cantu.
Holy Moly you guys! Today’s episode had me on the edge of my seat and just SO Joyful on how God does so much within his daughters and sons that ignites fires in other people because He’s blowing on embers and if you get close enough there is no way you can’t catch fire!
And today, with Ashton Cantu, our guest, she just lit me up. I left on such a high and I was so grateful I started my day that way. You guys, she came from a place of pain. And you’ve heard it said before that God will use your pain for purpose. And she doesn’t like tag lines or catch-phrase but this is exactly what He’s done in her life and just like He’s done in mine, just like He’s done in so many other women who walk in purpose…knowing that their identity is not based in the place of pain or the story line of their history, but instead in the identity of our Father.
She talks all around what it is that she walked through and how ultimately it was the fall, the pit, the place (actually happened multiple times) multiple rock bottoms, that she realized Jesus shows up for her. And He just continued to offer promotion after promotion after promotion in her life both personally and professionally, which you’ll get to hear all about her entrepreneurial journey and how that became to be.
She has two things she wants us to take away, but honestly there are 1000 things. But two things you’re about to have goods on is:
To dismantle the lies. The lies that have been cultivated time and time again in our own lives form deep roots and things that ultimately shouldn’t be there. She’s going to tell you how she got past them and how you can too.
Creating community and doing this thing, this walk, this life, this purpose drive joy-filled life with others and just like God is a community cultivator and lover, Kingdom maker…that’s the whole reason He didn’t just leave Adam alone to roam the earth. Even in His animals and plants and everything that exists…so to know that there is a support system and you don’t have to do this thing alone. So Ashton and I have partnered in that process to just be here and walk this out with you.
You can do this with, through and by Him. You can establish your business with His roots and His identity and how you will flourish in submission. And you will flourish by accepting His love, but also learning to give it.
I hope you are blessed by this episode!! And tune in to the joy that Ashton brings and the programs that we both are launching are all around this…so enjoy!
Ashton Cantou is a Transformational Life Coach, Leadership Coach, and Speaker. It is her absolute mission to help people thrive. The heart of her work is servant leadership. She lives to be a woman of God, a vessel for truth, and an example of what’s possible. In essence, Ashton is committed to expanding her capacity to receive and hold joy, love, abundance, prosperity, and success as she inspires and help others to do the same!
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Show Notes: From the Pit to the Palace, Using Pain for Purpose
Home, all you guys today’s episode had me on the edge of my seat and just so joyful to see how God does it so much within his daughters and sons that just ignite fires and other people, because it’s like he’s blowing on embers. And when you get close enough, there’s no way you can’t catch fire and today with action came to our guest, she just lit me up. I left in such a high and I’m so grateful that I started my morning that way, you guys… She came from a place of pain, and you’ve heard it said before that God will use your pain for a purpose, and she doesn’t like tag lines, she doesn’t wanna be catch crazy, but this is exactly what he’s done in her life, just like he’s done in mind just like he’s done in so many other women who walk in purpose, knowing that their identity is not based in the place of that pain or the storyline of their history, but instead in the identity of our father, she talks all around what it is that she walked through and how ultimately, it was the fall, it was the fit… The place… Actually, it happened multiple times. He’ll learn, but you’ll realize that it was in that rock at… There’s multiple rock bottoms that she realized that she just showed up for her, and she just continued to create promotion after promotion after promotion in her life, both personally and professionally, which he’ll get to hear all about her entrepreneurial journey and how that came to be, and ultimately she has two things she was us to take away to… Well, I honestly, there’s a thousand things, but the two things that we talked about that I want you to know that you’re about to have good done is to dismantle the lives, the lies that have been cultivated time and time again in our own lives from deep roots and things that ultimately shouldn’t be there, so she’s gonna tell you how she got past those and how you can do… And then also all about creating community and doing this thing, this walk, this life, this purpose-driven, joy-filled life with others, and how just as God is a community rented over… Honestly, cultivator, kingdom maker, that’s the whole reason if he didn’t just leave Adam to Rome alone, he started a community from the foundation of her, even in his animals and plants and everything that exists, and so to know that there is a support system that you don’t have to do this alone, and Aston and I have partnered in that process, to just be here and walk this out with you and to know that you can do it, we can through Him and by Him, and it’s ultimately the only way… But we talk all about how you can establish your business with his roots, with his identity, how you can store and how you will flourish in submission, how you will flourish and accepting his love, but also learning to give it, and so I hope you are blessed by this episode, I hope you enjoy it. I hope you tune into her on Instagram and the joy that she brings and the programs that we’re both launching are all around this, so stay tuned and enjoy.
This is your God-wing, the moment that heaven says, for such a time as this, It’s time to own your joy, prioritize your health, discover wealth and exude your wholeness, it’s time to become truly fit. However, this isn’t a fitness podcast, though, I’m a retired personal trainer and nutritionist, this is in business jargon or tips and tricks to Landing Your successful passion project though. That’s totally why I’m a business coach. This isn’t a quick fix health detox ploy though I’m all for therapy and I love hoods, I do have a yellow side, me too though, this isn’t confusing religious banter that I’m an ordering minister still figuring out the many things and facets and faces of Jesus. It’s really none of that. So I’m wondering if you’re wondering what is this… Well, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers, innovative movers and lifestyle shakers as we explore, share our messy comeback stories and discoveries with each of you fellow passionate speakers, the fit and base movement was birds through my own trial and error discovery of mind body and soul alignment, and to be totally transparent, my own entrepreneurial crash of Bern experiences, I’ve learned first-hand that being fit isn’t about archaic at all, it’s not about our qualifying abilities or titles, it’s not about our potential, it’s truly about our God-gifted passions. Meeting our purpose, you are one step away from achieving your idea, your dream, your calling, your purpose, whatever you wanna call it, and I wanna be there for the moment that you say yes, in Freedom, clarity and confidence that you are living fully fit and do… And who you are made to be. Welcome to the bit and base podcast with me, Tamara Andres. There is no better time than now to get it right now. Alright, I always love seeing those interview, the videos, they’re so amazing and all the head shots that we get, it looks so glam, like we live this lifestyle that’s so different than everybody else, but… I promise you, we took showers, I didn’t brush my hair this morning, I throw some tips for you guys, but beyond that, this is me and all my glory… This is Asian, all her glory. Coming to you, not with my morning coffee, ’cause I did that at 500 am, but my morning bubbly, and we are just so excited to spend this time and just shut light on who God has been to us intimately in our lives and who we believe God is to you all, knowing that everyone has their different understandings and faces and personality traits that they can amplify, and so I love unpacking that piece of how he shows himself to different people and As… And I got connected through the recent discover his purpose with Tessa, and it was an incredible interview series where she brought people in from around the world to just share their light and share what their purpose has been and how God unfolded that for them. And so Aston was sharing one night and I was not actually even able to listen to all the live interviews, ’cause it was prime time for bath and bedtime in my household with the babies, and I tuned in for yours, and it was such a God move because there were so many overlaps of our conversation, and I just knew that we were meant to be connected, so I think God for that divine intervention of my time and my schedule that we could connect and I’m excited to go deeper with you today, and she all gave me, this most amazing bio sometimes when people give me bias and like, Okay, fluff, she went right for the heart.
So Ashton, I’m gonna let you kind of unpack if you are… And if there are layers that you don’t share, just out of humility, I’ll do it on your behalf, but you’ll… Welcome atoning for being here this morning.
I know everyone. sisters, I’m so grateful to be here with you being… I appreciate you holding the space and creating this container for truth to flow, it just… We need it more than ever. Right, so I’m just so grateful and happy to be here with each of you today. And I said, I’m Ashton, I am a servant leader at heart and a woman of God, and I am just… This is what I’m here for, is to serve. And I didn’t get to this point by necessarily just like this irwell and choice, I always say that I feel like life definitely initiated me into this work. I feel like we are called to this work.
So as a title or identity from a worldly perspective, identify as a coach on the Transformational Life Coach, certified Transformational Life Coach, certified leadership coach for high performance.
I mentor mentor battered women, I mentor women who are in drug rehabilitation, I mentor coaches, and I also speak, so that’s my vehicle for purpose, but ultimately when you pull back the layers, as you said, I just… I really think that my personal identification comes from who I am in Christ as a woman of God and a servant leader, and that just kind of encompasses all the things that I get to do, in all the ways that I get to… To reach. I love that, I love that. So good, it was funny. This morning, I was listening to another mentor of mine who was unpacking all the titles, and that nowadays, we’re all so multi-passionate, we have so many layers to what we do and who we serve and how we do it. And so there is different titles like wealth coach, Success Coach, Finance, Transformation Coach, business coat, health coach, all these different things, and ultimately knowing that everyone’s why for why they say that is their title, and also their transformation factor is different, and that’s what makes us unique and so while there are train women on a daily basis, so many women who want to be coaches, there is space for all of us, which is so beautiful because our stories touch different people’s heart are unique, thumb prints represent the unique identity that’s Jesus. And that is so cool that we get to connect in those different ways, sure, our business card might say one thing, but there are so many pieces, and it ultimately comes down to our core… Right, and that Jesus in and of himself. So I love that about you. So you said that that there was a lot of transformation that happened in your life, and it was something that was more of that, that pulling on you versus you raising your hand and saying, Okay, what next… It was more like, Okay, this is where you’re going. And this is where I’m having you go, talk to us about that transformation, that evolution, you can start… I’m sure you could jump into lots of different places, so I think a couple of phrases help to frame this, I’m sure you ladies have heard of using you, you’re paying for our purpose or turning your mass into your message. And that’s just the reality of what we get to do get to, right, because not of it’s in Benin, everything that I’ve experienced, all the hardship all depend on all of my own self in centers against yourself sometimes do and all of that I recognize now was building me, to be off the woman who could hope face and help others to find healing like I can do yourself.
The initiation factor, I think, was a lot of school of hard knocks, it was a lot of trial, Tribulation with family, it was a lot of really not knowing myself and knowing my identity at all and feeling loss and hopeless and stuff, and we can go deep. I don’t know how much you want me to make one. I think identity is a huge piece in a place that, especially now in the midst of the season that we’re in as a world, there is a lot of people like, Wait, I don’t have this component of who I am anymore, whether it’s a workplace, a workspace, or they’re now being attacked on with new identities, homeschool moms out there, we feel your pain. And so helping people unpack that there is a root component to that, and that it can stem from a place of pain, just like this might be a place of pain for people now, so if you are working with someone, if you were mentoring your coaching at this point… What are the things that you would say Based on your own story line to help people through that?
Yeah, think there are a couple of things that I would point point these women back to, right, and that number one, what we’ve talked about is your identity in Christ, so much of what I went through and when… Full transparency, I’ve been to call, I’ve been to rehab, I’ve been abused in a toxic relationship where I was picked up at my throat and chokes named into a bathtub, I have nearly been homeless by the grace of God in the skin of my teeth, that did not happen when I left it. That toxic relationship, but all of these things, I think stemmed from this root of not feeling enough, not feeling deserving not, and allowing the lies and the labels and the narrative, the stories that developed because those lives and labels to really take root and to be seated in my mind and to take root and grow, and for me to start to identify with those with the identity of the failure or the identity of just the broken or dirty or whatever the is we’re coming up those in my story. And the biggest lesson I’ve learned is like, none of that is true, it was all a bunch of lies to keep the out of purpose, to keep me playing small, to keep me from reaching. And when I started to dismantle those lies and recognize that all the condemnation that I had, ’cause my inner credit was so bad, the internal judgment or had was ruling my life, the guilt and shame I would… Carrie was literally manifesting in my skin would assist in an all over my body, and through forgiveness, literally through forgiveness, not Occitan, not the medicine that the doctors of topics. It was when I started practicing and praying religiously around forgiveness and forgive myself and accepting the grace of God, accepting the graces at my skin, my life, the Gulshan, the weight began to lift and you could just see it. I started to go and I started to attract people, so number one is dismantling the lives and recognizing the… Who are who you are?
It’s so good, so good. And I think it’s so wild to know that there is like this attraction factor that comes with Jesus, ’cause I can literally see myself in pre-knowing the Lord, even identify at that point as a Christian. Okay, also to know that there is… There is a place of the church goer, I was a semi-frequent church goer, and even coming into full relationship with Lord based on full submission, which was the biggest component for me because I was a control freak, a perfectionist, everything was in my own… It my own strike, my own no. Had my own achievement. And when I crashed and burned, and I was at the place of waving my white flag like I can’t do it anymore, Jesus showed up, literally showed up in my living room, I remember the moment, and I felt completely transformed, the people in the room with me were amazed. During this three-hour conversation, they were like, You are glowing. There is a transformation from the way you’re carrying your shoulders in this time frame from when I walk to the door to where we’re standing right now, and I could feel him on the inside of me. And that is what people call the Holy Spirit, and so often I think there’s this convoluted mysterious component to who he is and what the Holy Spirit does and how he actually exists in our life, and that’s where I believe that attraction factor is the Holy Spirit inside of you speaking, sharing and in my word that I just love to shed on people and my purpose is illumination, like I want people to find that illumination factor to know that it’s not by them, it’s not by their mind, it’s not… Even the Grote component of their past, but by Jesus, and so giving them that glory and that part of your story, so you went from having these places of shame and guilt and feeling dirty and all of the other pieces that you unpacked, to now being a Transformational Life Coach, right? And a daughter of the key, most high, and being able to give Him the glory versus that being your identity factor, that rock on a moment you talk about…
So cochlea, lot of those obviously listed on to, but those weren’t the ones, right. So it wasn’t a rigid stuff away, and I was moving into a place of, Okay, I didn’t have enough self-worth or really strengthen my own right to even get a job, I didn’t believe in myself, I was to be down from that relationship with a master’s degree, I was knocking on restaurant window is like, Hey, do you have a server? But that’s where I was in thinking of my abilities and everything, and there’s nothing… I love mining tables, a great way to make a living. But for me, that’s not where I was. I was an educator before that, I was teaching first grade, and I didn’t even believe that I was worthy of influencing children at that point in time, so when I was trying to get back on my feet, I got the job waiting tables and I just saw… I just wanna connect dots or you and walk and what you see as the job… I left the relationship, didn’t have a job, couldn’t find the department because at no proof of income, but I ended up knocking on the window of this restaurant that was closed, they called me a week later and they said, Hey, we’ll let you in… You can start serving. So I started serving within that first week of serving, I also decided to see substitute teaching, so this is in one week… Okay, I’m serving, I got invited to a church. I was raised Catholic, if you understand where all this judgment and all this condemnation comes from, tradition can way pretty heavily on your soul, so I had never been to a non-denominational Christian church before, but I got invited and I went… I was also a substitute teaching one day, one day, so I’ve been to the church one time, I was substitute teaching one day, and they were watching me through the window, I was teaching PE, and they asked me to come back the next day, and I said, I’m sorry, I can’t, I’m waiting tables and make more money. waiting tables that I do subbing. I… To do that, he said, Oh no, no. This is for an interview. We have a pair of position open, it’s not full salary, it’s hourly, but there’s benefits. It’ll be that.
So within a week, I got this job, I’m hunting around for an apartment, I have no proof of income, you’re usually supposed to show that you make three times to… This girl waved her wand, I told her my situation, she said, I’ve got you. We’ll get you in, you said that you’ve got this job that’s coming up on the way, I’m gonna trust that that’s the case if you can just get a letter confirming that that’s gonna happen, we’ll let you went… Got an apartment, I got a job. I’m in the church, I get plugged in. I got a sister sitting next to me the second time I was sitting here, she said, Hey, we have this women’s group, you have to be a part of it, it’s Epic, you have to come… At this point in time, I’m literally only hanging out with two people, Christy, Marty, 78 and 80 years old, or retired dagestan, get out of my apartment. Okay, so I have nobody, I literally moved across the country, I have nobody, I have this elderly couple soup and they take me in the suburban each day while my ex was at his job, they would stand… He would stand at the bottom of the stairs with his gun ’cause he was in an officer at one point, and I would run upstairs and I would collect as much stuff as I could, and we’d practice up urethane take to my place and we would just slowly leave and take this. So when they’re invited me to this women’s room, I’m thinking, Yeah, I have nobody to elderly people who have served me, but I need sisterhood, so I dove in and the next thing I knew I was meeting these women’s groups and I’m like, What’s happening here? You’re… Now, I’m leading a group, and we made carats one day to take to battered women’s shelter, and I offered to take them.
I showed up at the place, it wasn’t a women children, it was a non-for-profit, and the woman steps out of her home and she said… Jaw drops. She goes, You’re here. I’m like, What? She goes, You’re here, I’ve been praying for you. You were born to be a blessing. She said, have to come this weekend. Every second Saturday of the month, I host an event. We have about 300 women and children, we feed them, we pour into them, we do an outer makeover, then we do an Inner makeover, and we speak life over their life, of course, having nothing going on. Billing call, I say, Okay, I’ll be there, so I show up. She calls me up to the front of the room, 300 women and children in this beautiful space called I can still shine ministry ministry.
So I got the call to everyone I just want to introduce, or one of our new board members, here’s Ash, she’s gonna be on the directors. I fully stepped in, I thought, You know what? clearances to be, so for the next, I think for three or four years, I think I served with them, but this is how I got catapults in my purpose, because I started mentoring these battered women, and I started mentoring these women who were in drug rehabilitation and battery two places that I had been, I can’t make this up.
And I step into speaking, and I step into coaching and mentoring, and I realized, this is what I wanna do, I wanna do… So I started looking for certifications, I found a certification that was based in faith, and it was a spiritual-based program, I still wasn’t in the place where I felt like mini… I didn’t feel qualified, I was like, There’s no way that I could do ministry. Look who I am, I still was carrying a lot at the guilt and shame, so anyway, that is how I got led to this path, and it was so soaked, it was so locked stuff and I was just… Jesus was the Lamb to my feet, I was literally just walking to the Elite I would need, and I just was truly trusting the call, so you’re paying the things that you’ve gone through, they will be used if you allow it, if you listen, if you be obedient, to that call, God will completely transform what has happened in your life and allow you to use it to help others.
Yeah, I think there’s so much to that because there are so many layers to the things that you’ve gone through, and there might even be components to your story that you hadn’t truly tapped into where there hasn’t been the opportunity where you have that aha, Jesus moment. I call him God winks. Where he’s like, Okay, remember that one thing, that one thing that you thought was, for nothing. This is why it’s for this person, it’s for this situation, it’s for this outcome, again for my glory, and I just think that there is so much beauty and the waiting of that… Right, like for me, I feel like the more that I say yes to God, the more that spaces of my heart that I thought and held a secret for so long are no longer secrets, they’re coming out as an opportunity and a blessing to other people, is there fear in that, not as much when you see God show up every single time to catch you, to be alongside you, to have already gone before you… Again, realizing that it has nothing to do with your name, it has nothing to do with Asian being a victim of or being the culprit of or choosing to make this decision and everything about his power and his ability to transform other people on behalf of a mistake on behalf of a place that you stood in shame and guilt, and he says, Hold on, I carried that first. You don’t have to do that. And so it’s just… It’s an evolution process, and I think so often people sit in this place of not having enough patience to figure out like, What do you have for me, what is my purpose? What am I doing here? Why did I go through all of that trial and tribulation, and even for you serving in that specific ministry for three years, it’s an evolution, it didn’t… It happened overnight.
There was week transformation where you’re like, Okay, Jesus, I see what you’re doing here.
Yeah, so tell me like, what was the moment… Did you have a relationship with the Lord prior to that? non-denominational experience in Catholicism.
I love it. Really important to her.
Jesus, I got Danielson into your experience with that church…
I’m sorry. at that church? Yes.
How soon you show up to the church house, like soon after a month… In a couple of months.
So probably like four months or so, but right before it started happening, it was probably in a matter of weeks, but I got baptized that this started happening, and I will tell you, I really had nothing… At this point in time, I was working seven days a week for six months, and I went from living a very different life, so I was living in… In neapolis, I was coaching basketball.
I was coaching basketball, I was teaching first grade. I was in grad school, I was killing it in grass, and I was modeling, I felt like I had the world at my fingertips. And I had gone, I had come so far, I had left a lot of the things from when I went to rehab, I was only 17, and I had been arrested before. But it was for just mistakes and drinking and things like that, but they say the pride comes before the fall, and I remember having a conversation with my family, we went out to dinner at night for my dad, his birthday, and I was so proud. I felt like it approved myself to my family, and I was boasting and I was like, I’m doing all these things, seeing me, seeing me… See me for who I am. And that night, I had a… I was wiped a date rape drug, and I had a very adverse reaction that led me to being arrested and I ended up experiencing police brutality, and I woke up in a bruises all over my body, ankles, everything, not knowing what happened. I thought I had sludge in a public intoxicated, I would completely mind race terrified.
And what happened is that moment took me from here thinking that I was my own strengths, come this far to say he, Nope, you need her, but I didn’t accept that yet, and that’s where I attracted… That toxic abusive relationship. Ran Away from Indiana, moved to Texas. And that’s how that all happened.
So at that point in time, I was going to Catholic church, I was a church go, I’ve believed in God, I did, but I didn’t have this personal relationship with the Holy Spirit and with Jesus, and that is something that was transferred into me through the sisterhood that I had at the church, and that’s the work that I saw in me that started to happen once I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior in a true choice type of way, not because of what I have been taught or conditioned to believe about that relationship, but it was my own, I owned it.
Yeah, yeah, I think that’s a really beautiful piece, even in identity, just like I was mentioning, our thumb print, it’s so uniquely ours, and there are so many different components of who He is, I have a friend who’s reading the bible right now front to back, and it’s her first time fully doing that and her intent, her one heart’s desire is to understand the character of who God is, and as she’s doing this in each individual chapter, like learning those multi-faceted components of who He is and knowing he’s the same as he always has been, he’s the same today, and he’ll be the same tomorrow, is just opening her eyes and she sheds that information right in and deposit to me, and I just think it’s so neat to hear who is Jesus CU and who… What is and who is God, and what has he done in your life? And so, I love hearing, I love your story, and I think the parallels for me that I hear are all of the places of guilt and shame and anger, and dirty-ness and mistrust to my own flesh, like not knowing when I’m waking up. Who is Tamar gonna be today? And it was a scary place because perfectionism drove me, achievement drove me, and so I wanted to be not just the best version of myself, like you hear people say now, and my son was actually telling me this morning through tears that I wasn’t the being the best version of myself because I took his cocoon cards. And so there are so many people like little words and cash phrases that we use now, but… What does that mean? And to me, it means now that it’s not the best version of who I am in the mirror, it’s the best version of Jesus living out it through my life and activating him in everything that I do, and that draws you to an entire another level, not of achievement, not a perfectionism, but instead bolstering Him in that place of achievement, in that place of production is for what he’s done again in our lives and through us, so I’m just grateful that you share that I think your evolution journey is something that people need in this place in this time. And I would love to hear where in all of that, when you realize that point, when you said, This is what I wanna do, how did you take that purpose, that deep rooted why within you and shifted into that entrepreneurial space, which is often deemed simply worldly. How do you take Jesus and put him there?
Do you feel like you’ve been sitting on the dream God has given you for far too long, do you feel out of alignment or obedience because of it, or perhaps you’ve been spinning your wheels on how to answer God’s call, but can’t quite define or design it into a business. Maybe you’ve titled this god dream of ministry. One, you wholeheartedly give all of your time and energy to get your passion isn’t providing the profit you need to stay in your home, your first ministry.
Do you struggle with the idea of earning money doing something you believe he’d want you to do it in servant?
Do you feel unworthy as a woman to possess… Well, no, I get it. I’ve been in every one of those shoes, and I can promise you the moment I traded those worn out handles for his intended comfort, I was able to finally walk the Miles has taken to grow the dream, from ideation to activation, catapulting my true passions into my full purpose, and now… Well, I’ve had a job coach, meaning women over the past couple of years in a group setting, I still sense there are missing straps to their well-made shoes. So I design this course, the god dream design course, to walk alongside you intimately until you’ve claimed the gift of the shoe as He has always wanted for you, you’re probably wondering if this is the sure fire to claim your roots, discover your wins as a kingdom entree. Why are we talking about shoes?
Well, these are NIS, they aren’t EAs who, whatever the kids call them these days, and I am not giving you sandals like Hermes either God’s choose truly fly. God shows have limitless souls that never wear down, they are promised to get you where He has shown you that you were intended to be, so come along for the ride, get out of that stuck analysis per assay of limitation and develop the mindsets methods and models to bring to light the vision he has planned for you before you are knit in your mother’s womb, sign up today for your self-paced program where I will actually provide you live coaching a community of women to walk this journey alongside a package of goodies right at your door step, and many more incredible deliverables, you can find all of the details on my side at Tamra Andres dot com, don’t forget Tamara, T-A-M-R-A, I got the good version. Thanks Mom.
There really girls, it’s time to fly. I promise it to spring as it sounds, Caswell, I Wald naturally promoted for one, so as I said, everything was kind of stripped the way for me, I didn’t really have anything, but I had more joy in my heart that I had ever had. I was living all his life and end, and then I had nothing I couldn’t even before to get my nails done.
But I was so joyful, and I think by having that lock in me removed right through… Forget this, through me. For giving people… For me, for giving me… For me, accepting forgiveness, ’cause I think Jesus modeled that for us, not just about accepting, he’s great in his correcting me to the abundance that was already available. So what happened? It just continued. The promotion just happened. So the second I committed and I declare that I wanted to be in this work, God came through. I was… At this point, I was already studying to be a Transformational Life Coach, and I was teaching first grade, I did a presentation, and the next week they called me and they offered me an interview to become berthier Forman for educators who I was sausages building out my business and building out my entrepreneur journey while I was being prepared for it, and I didn’t see this at the time, I just thought it was really cool, but looking back, it built a capacity in me, so over those the three years of building… I’ve been in business for years, and I did it part-time… For three years now, I do it full-time.
I was working as a leadership coach for educator, so I was set up as a trainer and a coach to school leaders and to teachers, which was in the trenches, you wanna talk about mission work, what… Every single mission, when you’re in school, and I was serving 14 schools, hundreds of teachers I was coaching in the ab40, I think educators that I was working with on a regular basis. And having the ability to speak into and train up thousands of educators all over to our taxes, so I didn’t understand that what was happening, a little bit of me was like, I’m so ready to do this, I want to pour into women this way, and I was a little impatient, but I know now that God was doing this work and he was building a capacity in me, so for the entrepreneur journey, I think that it’s trusting that God’s timing, it’s not always about just leaving, it’s about preparation.
So I think perseverance, do its work is one of my favorite, I don’t know what it is in the Bible, I know it’s in there, you… But it’s in there, okay?
It’s work, and I think that was big for me. Is becoming an entrepreneur. I was recognizing it, this is it, God’s time.
This is not in my time or my will, and just trusting that everything that he was doing, everything that I’m waiting on is preparing me for what he’s prepared for me, that this is building a capacity to me that it is… It is literally grooming me and trusting that I think that’s huge for an entrepreneur, because we want it now, we’re so impatient. We wanna go do it. Well, guess what, you will crumble if I had stepped into full entrepreneurship three years ago, and I haven’t yet yet, and I’m still not hell, I don’t think we ever fully arrived, and that’s the point, because it keeps us dependent yeast, I’m grateful that I trusted the timing and then I listened, and then I didn’t walk prematurely.
So into it, I hear often with coaching clients, because they feel like they’ve been treading water, they’ve just been treading water and treating water, and they’re like, Oh, I have this grandiose vision for not just what I had cultivated, but what God has shown me, whether they’ve seen it through a vision, whether they’ve seen it through a dream, whether he’s spoken to them, whether somebody has prophetically spoken it to them, whatever it means, and they’re like, When is it coming? And what can I do better to steward what it is that he showed me, so what insight… ’cause I could go on that, but I wanna hear from you, what do you help people see in that regard?
Yes, I know, I know that feeling. I remember hitting this point where I was like, I’m living with me at my potential, this is a way… Let me go to a… If I let you go, you’re gonna crash on a bet.
What I did, and what I coach my ladies on too is, ’cause I have a lot of girls that I work with, in men that are transitioning in stepping into entrepreneurship, but straddling it, you’re still talking here, and they’re doing this and treat what you’re doing now as if you were already doing it, if you cannot truly and gratitude, embrace everything that God is giving you now, why is he going to a trust you with more? He’s not…
’cause they say, You’re not ready.
You’re not being appreciative. You’re not being grateful for what you have.
So I started really just taking the passion, enthusiasm and energy that I saw myself infusing into my future vision and living it in the now, showing up every day with those teachers, as if they were my own clients, showing up every day with those educators, and you know what? I probably started breaking the rules a little bit, I do…
God told me that A… The leadership coaching, I started pouring into them, administering it so bad, you said that I keep going to go on, I have a question about it, but I would have, if they were my own finds, I should be bringing that conversation and maybe… I’m in the Bible Belt in down here in Texas, so a little… But they were more receptive, but I didn’t care, I got to the point where I was like, No, you know what purpose is purpose, I know on here.
It doesn’t matter what vehicle I’m doing this through, I am… This is how I operate, this is what calls to be, and I’m not gonna wear this mask and professionalism and cover up was really needed here, they need the truth, sayeth need the power that is innately within them, and that’s what they need to do to me to get them strategies or structures, a somewhat, they need today. They need the truth. So I started it, just it out in my own way in that regard, stats so amazing. And I also shared that in the sense of trying to figure out this placement of, Okay, God, I’m straddling the secular world and who you would have me be in the world, and this is you that I’m supposed to be living out… Right, that’s what we were called to do. Is Be the hands and feet of Jesus. And so I was trying to figure out how do I identify myself? I identify myself in you and through you, and yet these people coming to me or where I feel like there’s a gap and void… It’s very secular, and I have a hard time like, when do I use your name? When do I talk about you? And if I am truthful in myself saying that every day and every second I need him, otherwise every component of my flesh wants to take over because that’s what we’re shown on a consistent basis, and I’m a perfect… Don’t get it right. And so I have to continue to lean into him, and so as my pastor shared with me at the time of going through my ordination and minister’s license, and he was like, Tamra, God will give you grace for your space, and if you’re supposed to show up on a stage for a bunch of people who don’t know Jesus, did you show up as all of who he’s called you to be and for you to do that, and that’s what I wanted the infusion point to be as things… The layer started chipping away and people kept coming to me, and I was having coffee conversations, and this is prior to me declaring that I was in business, and just in coffee conversations with people bowing out purpose… Illuminating their lives to say, you’re made for more. And God said to me, Now, you are a Christian business coach. And they’re hard to find… I looked for one, I wanted a mentor that classified and said, and rose their hand and said, Yes, I stand for Jesus before I stand for myself, before I stand for you.
And it’s really difficult, and since putting that as a part of my title, it has been just an incredible transformational shift where the people coming to me are ready to hear about Jesus, and therefore instead of me struggling with when and how I get to lead with it I get to end with it, I get to be in the midst of it. I was having a coaching with a bunch of girls the other day, and we were unpacking a conversation around marketing, I still get to talk about secular things, it’s a part of life, it’s a part of… Entrepreneurship is a part of what we do on a daily basis. And she was like, Well, what about the algorithm? And I was like, What do you think God thinks about the algorithm? And algorithm doesn’t matter. And they were all just kind of like, Well, that’s not what everybody else says, and I’m like, but there are people… There may… Yeah, and so everyone was like, Oh, I was like, Mike Job moment. And I just realized I… Isn’t that everything? And shouldn’t we always be looking through his lens, and it’s hard to do… I don’t wanna sound like I get it right again, I’m imperfect, but I want people to know when they come to me that we have him on our fingertips, at our fingertips, the Bible at our fingertips. All of the powerful tools that he gives us within us, that Holy Spirit to help lead and guide us, and I wanna be around people who want to pull that out of me, not people that I feel like I have to put up a blockade.
That’s amazing what I have found. And what’s been interesting is that God sends me seekers, so not everyone that I’ve worked with is a physically back, I’ve actually worked with a lot of people who have so much incredible church hurt, they were either maybe Jehovah Witness or as Catholic, and because of how maybe their parents took the ideas of religion and part of that on them through judgment and criticism, they’ve almost written off God. So what’s been interesting is that i just owned my truth within coaching calls, and I implicitly, very implicitly embed it, and so it… And I feel like my job is just to just crack them open at the time, and I have had… It was created ’cause it’s a repository, that’s what an underground ministry, but I have like so many people go to God, turn to Jesus and completely turn their spiritual life around, go from non-Believer to believer simply by my implicit math messaging, but also owning my conviction right so I don’t push…
I own my convention, but then I also see… And it’s been… Ali’s been really cool and I’ve become more involved over the past, probably two years about just owning it more online about what I might fait… There’s something about whatever method or whatever way God’s having me show up that has brought people who aren’t fully evicted a belief to me.
But no, I think that’s so beautiful. I think that, again, it’s that attraction factor that, that he has and that he is displaying through you, and I pray that he continues to do that for all of his leaders and all of his women specifically that are rising up during this season, because I’m seeing a time after time. And so for the people that often come to me, they’re at that same stage of trying to figure out like, Here’s my passion, here’s my call, how do I… Like let’s say for instance, I had an amazing call with a woman yesterday in Vancouver who was… She has an aromatic company, aromatherapy, and she’s like, I have this incredible brand, and I want people to know about Jesus, and I think that’s my first ministry as much as this is my passion. How do I blend the two? How do I then take away an entire portion of my market because I’m segmenting myself as in a Christian aroma therapy of the therapist, and I’m like, You’re not segmenting, you’re inviting, you’re… And just like he does, God doesn’t say, This is my space. These are my people. He with open arms, these are my people. This is my space. This is my table. You’re welcome to sit here. And it doesn’t have to be a shoving in your face, like I think my family for a long time when I came into my faith, and I say I came into my faith, I came into the understanding of my identity through Jesus and that relational factor, just like you were saying…
’cause I said before, like I said, I was a Christian before, but I didn’t have the Bible as my wife, and I didn’t have worship as my weapon, I didn’t armor myself with the Lord every single day like I do now, and they literally thought for a while I didn’t even see me, I didn’t hang out with me, they thought that I was gonna come… I wish I had my Bible in the hand, like with the Bible like, Okay guys, what’s for dinner? And like, I’m gonna open the Bible and start reading a prayer, and I was always like, That’s not Jesus, that’s not how he showed up places, that’s not how I’m gonna show up places, and I love that you are authentic and saying like I can’t recite every verse I know it’s in there somewhere, but that’s something I was convicted of and I wanna practice and be better at because I think that there is a weapon in that, but I also… I don’t know at all I’m on or doing Minister Allan. I don’t know at all.
We can’t know it all, that’s the process of becoming, that’s the process of one day when I’m with Jesus, He’s gonna reveal so many things that I didn’t know that I wish I knew, and that’s what’s so amazing about the adventure, so amazing about the journey, and so… I’m grateful to be in sisterhood with people like you who I know are doing his work in that unique way, and only you can do it. And it doesn’t matter if you wanna be a life coach. Y’all be a life coach. Literally implement Life. And that’s what you’re doing, which is so incredible, so tell… Tell us more about like, there’s a big god dream, I know you have it, even as he continues to reveal what’s kind of next for you, how do you see yourself continuing to evolve in what he’s late before you at this point?
Yeah, so this is all in all in the road, this is all the prayer realm, but I have planted and seeds that were on my heart, so one thing that is manifesting right now, and it starts next, I’ll start one-on-ones with this, but it’s my confidence Catalyst Program and the one. So it’s the first time that I’ve ever built my own program that is infused with these faith principles, my original program that I got from my mentor, and then I was certified and was spiritual base, but this is my own… Not really excited because I have attracted telemann who who are believers, but also women who are a purpose, that really wanna step in, do a greater purpose of service, so it’s just… It’s gonna be an amazing container, it’s a five-week program that I want to hear in August, and I’m really, really, really excited for that. And then I’ve been in conversation with a dear friend of mine, he’s a fellow coach and speaker, he… But he has an incredibly potent platform and she has some very devoted value and need the bringing on the Com, and we had a three-hour combat, two weeks back and another meeting after that, and we’re talking about developing a coaching and atomic that is… That is a one I really helpful. He is across the world to coordinating, and I know he has a million and a half things going on in it, but it has been on my heart, so I pitched it to him and he liked it, and we met with the team, so we’ll see if it’s God’s will and I have to go, that would. legacy-wise, that would… And long-term vision-wise, I think that would be so incredible to be… To take my educational background and to take this faith-based side of things, start to infuse it, to actually train up coaches from this… From this… What I’m trying to say. Perfect.
Yeah, absolutely. We see, it’s so good and again, so necessary, that’s where I feel like… I mean, we need more of us, like we need more people to be able to do what they’re called to do in their realm of coaching based on their story that was given to them by the Lord, and I use him in to the things that they love. And not feel like I have to be this person in this sector of my life and where this person in the sector they are like that they get to be all of the things.
We’ve had people on commenting throughout the time, just so grateful for you sharing your testimony and just being open to sharing, we’ve got people that just jumped on that are sad that they weren’t a part of the live the entire time, so you guys go back and listen and tune into all of Aston story, I am so excited for what God is doing in His girls right now specifically, I just feel like there is this Ember that he’s just blowing on, and I can just see it continuing to catch fire and it’s not just in the United States, it’s literally globally. And so, I’m just grateful to be in community with you and so excited to see where God continues to open doors and hopefully cross paths again, what kind of… Gives the girls a bit of encouragement right now about their next steps, where should they go with these different burning sensations and desires from the Lord, a community. Communion, support, all of this. Yes, God moved. Yes, that move. But I hire coaches, I have had support for the past five years, and I gave up my loan, wolfenden my Miss Independent, I gave it up and I allowed other women who were doing what I wanted to do to support me. So that was number one, and then something that I’ve really grown into in the past couple of years is a community around sister head, and that’s what I’m creating with this confidence, how his program is allowing a container, a safe space. So I think get support and somebody that you align with that has your core values, like one of us, what else that you align that has your core values, and get a mentor or a coach, and the second thing is find to your community, whether it be a Bible setting group, or whether it be an online group or an in-person group of when things kinda open up, you need community, we are not meant to do this alone, and those are just the two things… Those will take you so far.
So I felt so vital and I think to even knowing, and if you do decide and you’re listening and you’re like, I’m not to the point where I want to infuse my faith other than showing up and being the wholeness of who God sees me as in those work spaces, or you’re not allowed to do that in certain work spaces, there is absolutely, again, a space for you within our programs to understand and unpack how to do that and be and live out that purpose in your life.
I don’t wanna segment people to think that they have to infuse Jesus, how do you each have your unique way of doing that, but I realize that if that’s you, the value in that community piece that she’s talking about would be in those inner circles in your corporate setting or wherever it is that you have yourself go… Even as a solar peer, I had to do this with people on my team is I need them to constantly be um shielding me and being that hedge of protection to no, Tamara, that’s the world talking, like helping me discern, helping me realize, helping me, convicting me when they see me, call me out, I need to be called out, and I’ve told them that You guys have full access to say no, to say and show up and convict me in and who it is that I’m called to be, and who I potentially am turning to be… And I feel like there is a lot of leaders who have paid the way for us, I have specific people in mind that I’m thinking of right now that I would have called a mentor, I have called a mentor, and I’ve seen them choose when they’ve gotten to a place of pride.
I’ve seen them choose the alternatives, and the things that are of this world can never give you as much as He can give you, and those are the things I wanna pursue. I wanna pursue the fruits that I get in heaven, and it’s hard because the fruits that are here, amazing, but there’s so much more than he would have in store for us, so… I love that. That’s how you ended. The community piece is everything, I have that in my personal life, I have that in my professional life, and I feel like you have to have around you everywhere you go, so thank you, and I’m glad to say that I can touch base with you and know that you will help me in that regard to… So we have people that would love to know more about our programs. They’re in the UK, so being able to serve them, Charley might even be a friends with some of the people that were connected with us and to discover his purpose program, that interview series that we just did, so… We’d love to chat with you. I will be giving all of Ashton links in the show notes to follow this, and you could reach out to her directly on social media here on Facebook and Instagram and any other places that they can find you and you… Facebook and Instagram is good.
That was probably batticaloa.
Right again, thank you guys. You wanna close in prayer to political… To kinda speak over these people’s hearts, you can open… And I’ll go ahead and close. Oh, okay, do you, heavenly Father, we’re just so so grateful that you’ve called us to this purpose today to be able to shed light on what is possible for each and everyone listening.
You are a God of transformation, you are that a purity and you can make all things whole and complete, there is no brokenness or condemnation in You, and we’re so thankful for your grace, for your mercy, for passion for your life, that gets to not only pour down on us, but for through us into the lives of others, the prayer that you continue to bless us, to give us a provision for our mission to be servant leaders for the kingdom, and we pray over each and every listener and every person here with us today, that you will infuse their hearts with passion and purpose and help them to step forward to be the woman that you have called them to be into their higher selves, and we pray this in Jesus, Nitin, I’m not even gonna… You’ve got that girl.
He manual, thank you.
So I’m like, no, you got it, I do. Such a blessing. Aston, thank you again for your time. I hope that that just spoke to you all, and again, we are here to serve, so touch base and DMs and will be… It’ll be us and not anybody else. Thanks again. My sister, he… It’s me again, I hope in today’s episode, you sense and ignite to an ember within you something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey before you go, let the lit it by the plane. I’d love for you to take a step right now and declaring your take away by snapping a pick of the episode you tent to share your spark moment and tag me at it, they podcast or me personally at Tama Diana on Insta. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the Fitbit podcast listeners, we’re totally in this together, community over competition is the motto, right? I’d also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening up, I’d love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project a big shout out. You know, I’m a writer, so I love words and I can’t wait to read what you have to say, I’m ready to fuel the plane with you together and until next time, blessings over your joy, help. Wealth and wellness, untime.