Faith Driven Female Entrepreneur
In this episode with Heather McConochie we're talking about body image and sacred sexuality, as well as femininity. We're talking about sustainability in parallel to fitness and nutrition. And this is something I am really passionate about. I feel like we, as women have to be empowered and create success from a place of wholeness and a place of alignment. Heather is teaching us that not only from her nursing background, but her degrees and her actually doing.
She's going to unlock energy and she's going to help you step into the mood that you want to feel and the mood that you should feel based on so many different areas of integration. I was so honored to have this conversation and get real and raw and talk about sex, faith. Enjoy!
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Heather McConochie is a faith-driven nutritionist, health & mindset coach, former nurse, and passioned female entrepreneur.
Heather empowers busy & successful women to lose weight and keep it off in a healthy, sustainable, life-changing way! She loves coaching women to improve their health, wellness, and the way they feel in their bodies! Driven by her own weight loss struggles and being sick and tired of not seeing sustainable results, she hired a coach, studied & received her own nutrition certification, and saw incredible changes to her body, energy, and mood, and she never looked back!
Now Heather's mission is to empower busy and successful women to lose weight & feel great again in a healthy, sustainable, scientific, life-changing way. Heather is also a host of "The Positive Thread Podcast" that shares stories to inspire millennial women to transform their bodies, minds, and souls.
Where to Find Heather:
Show Notes: Faith Driven Female Entrepreneur
Let's talk about, they be, let's talk about you and me. You guys were really that song. That was my pre-Jesus soundtrack. So forgive me, but I had to tune it up here because today with Heather McConaughy, we're talking about a lot of things. Sex included. We're talking about body image and sacred sexuality, as well as femininity.
We're talking about sustainable. In parallel to fitness and nutrition. And for those who know me, you know, that this is something I am really passionate about. I feel like we, as women have to be empowered and create success from a place of wholeness of a place of alignment. And she is teaching us that not only from her nursing background, but her degrees and her put the pedal to the metal and actually doing.
She's going to unlock energy and she's going to help you step into the mood that you want to feel and the mood that you should feel based on so many different areas of integration. I was so honored to have this conversation and get real and raw and talk about sex, faith. They, so I want you to stay tuned.
It's so good. And you have to get connected to Heather McConaughy. She also has a podcast, the positive read podcast. So be sure to tune into hers as well. Things. And if you would do the same, we would highly appreciate it. I could so see Heather coming in and teaching and training some of my people at a retreat one day, speaking of I have a retreat coming up it February 4th, through the 10th of 20, 22, we will be together and they made them Mexico.
And I cannot wait to just explore not only your health and wellbeing in that space, but also your femininity and what that means and how we can stand in honor of being. Under of the king of being a Queens here on earth, as it is in heaven cannot wait. You've got to go check out my website. It is www.cameraanddress.com and just find the retreat staff, because if I give you all of this stuff, you'll, won't remember it.
So Tamra androse.com and now for the one and only lovely Heather Makonnen.
Welcome to the fit and faith podcast fit is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs in kingdom leaders. I'm your host, Tamra and dress.
And this podcast, isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience. I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi. And so we do go there unscripted, no matter how far wide, deep or high there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside, out, into their greatest calling, by sharing their truest stories.
And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder. I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and whose we are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.
Hey, Hey. Hey, welcome to the Batman podcast, Heather. I'm so glad to have. Oh, thank you so much for having me today. I'm so excited to be here. Pleasure. And I'm excited because as I was reading a bit about you and learning about your story, um, from the bits and pieces that I could gather, there was a lot of symmetry in the, the wholeness and the health factor in the exploration.
I was a personal trainer and nutrition counselor for several years when I first got out of college. And so there's definitely a symmetry in what fitness. Started from, and then I'll have to share later what it evolved into. So thanks for being here. I'm excited to unpack. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So tell, tell us where, where that all derived.
So for those who don't know, Heather's to give you a little bit of background on her, I always give an intro to the intro before the podcast starts, but you guys know that she is a faith driven nutritionist, which I think is really cool. And one of the reasons I was excited to have her on the show, but health and mindset coaching is parallel to that.
And she was a former. So as an entrepreneur, she's got all the passion points that I love to unpack. And so it's going to be fun to hear where the backstory derived. Yeah. So I'm Heather McConkie. I'm a registered nurse, turned nutritionist. So I started my career really taking care of people who were catastrophic, really sick.
I was an ER nurse for three years in a level one trauma center here in Austin, Texas. So I saw the worst of the worst, right? Like I saw people die from trauma, gunshot wounds, stab wounds, car accidents, overdoses, but then I also saw things like heart attacks. Um, stroke, um, diabetic crisis, um, hypertensive crisis, um, alcohol withdrawal, et cetera.
Right? And so after taking care of people who, um, were so sick, kind of what paralleled, that was my own pursuit of health and wellness for myself and fitness. I actually started doing CrossFit at the same time that I started working in the ER, kind of fits because they're both kind of like masculine. Uh, much more to get out of it though.
I mean, I can understand the, all of the probably added anxiety and stuff that that does even with knowing that that's your profession. There's a lot of pent up. It's almost like a PTSD. I have a lot of friends that are in that nurse practitioner, ER, realm, and it's really hard on them. They have to have a place to with.
So at least you chose a healthy alternative. Totally. And it was a great mindset thing. It actually taught me a really important lesson, which was, I would start my, I would go to CrossFit first before my shifts. And it was the hardest thing like I'd ever done. I have anxiety about how hard the workout was going to be, but then I show up, I do the work and I leave feeling like, wow, the hardest part of my day is over.
And even though I was walking into a really challenging work environment on many levels, I felt much more mentally strong and able to handle it. Wow. That is a very interesting perspective because you had, I was thinking you were going to say something totally different, to be honest, I thought you were going to say you, you had this hard thing and then you went in and you realized how much harder other people have it, which I'm sure of course there's hardship that they're going through, but it almost brought you just to a personal place of peace in order to serve them at the level of that.
A hundred percent because it's very confronting to take care of very sick people. It's scary. I felt scared. Like I already have some anxiety. Uh, so then like to add that on top of it, I could kill this person for sure. Their medicine, which is a real thing, right. Or you could miss something. People sit, people come in the ER, sick, and sometimes they don't present a sick and they die in your waiting room or they die in a lower acuity bed.
And so I just have a lot of anxiety. So it taught me a very important mental lesson, which was foundational, I think to me becoming an entrepreneur. So really cool. So that, how long did you, how long did you stay in that realm before you took the leap outside of the new. Yeah, the beautiful thing about being a nurse and starting a business is full-time for a hospital.
Nurse has only three, 12 hour shifts in a seven day period. They're still very intense. You still need like two days to just recover from your shifts. So then you have a true weekend, but I actually had like five days a week to start working on my business. So I was full-time when I started nutrition coaching and very quickly my.
The scale, just through referral word of mouth, my gym. I went from having one client to 16 within two months. Well, yeah, that's a lot. Yeah. So then I had enough cash flow coming in from my business to go part-time as a nurse, which was really great because I still had benefits. I still had shifts. I still got a paycheck, but I didn't have to be at the hospital.
Three days a week. I only had to be there two days a week, but I could pick up extra shifts or I could pick up a four hour shift. So I had a lot more control over my schedule and that's really what allowed me to scale. So I did that for four more months and then I quit nursing and went full-time with my business.
And I've been in business full-time for, it'll be four years, this new year's Eve. That is a really amazing. Fast-track, I don't think a lot of people when they, they, I mean, that's the hope, right? You start a business and you're like, oh, by the end of the year, I'm going to be out of here. Um, but I, that was never my story.
And, and I think that it's pretty amazing that you have that as a part of your testimony, to be able to say like, sometimes it's just the grit and the grind, even though I'm totally anti hustle culture, you did it in a really like, um, I think healthy. Thank you. Yeah, I did it. I think in a very smart, strategic way.
I didn't quit my job and have no money coming in. I was very intentional. I actually saved $30,000 within four months that I made in my business. I saved every penny and I lived off of the money that I was still making from nursing, and I just lived a little more lean. And so I, when I quit nursing, I had $30,000 in my business bank account that provided me a huge mental cush.
For my, I was like, well, that's 10 months of living expenses. If I sign no clients for 10 months, you got out. Yeah. That's huge. And, and I, and I think the initial cash flow is also a representation of the legwork that you put in prior to starting your business. I think a lot of times people think like, oh, they started a business and then they were that successful.
But you were living this healthy, holistic lifestyle and people were, had been bearing witness to it. Otherwise those clients didn't just appear out of thin air. Like, Hey, I'm a coach. Now talk to us about that. Your lead up to that experience where people telling you like, Hey, you should do this or getting advice from you.
How did you know that this was something you wanted to pivot into? Yeah, it kind of kind of fell into my lap and then I also took action towards it. So the first thing that happened was you were correct. Um, for two solid years before I started my business, I was working on my own health and wellness journey.
So trying nutrition, figuring things out, working with a coach myself, I got certified in a nutrition certification program that I was, I just did it because I was interested. I wasn't trying to start it. Um, the nutrition certification program actually did not teach me everything that I know a lot of what I learned is self-taught experimentation research articles, um, which is a whole other conversation, a lot of nutrition certification programs out there, even like big name ones are actually very like still don't teach you everything you need to know.
So, um, I. I was doing that. And then I actually, one of the coaches at my CrossFit gym the summer before I started my nutrition coaching business, he approached me and asked me if I would cook. Interesting. I was posting on Instagram. I would just post like photos of my food, like really low quality, like, um, here's my breakfast bowl.
And he was like, he was a CrossFit coach and he was like, would you cook for me? And I was like, well, okay. I could try it. So I cooked him, I think, like two meals a day, five days a week. So I batch cook him 10 meals and deliver them to him. And then all of a sudden. People at the gym. Oh, well I want it on that.
Well, I want, well, you cook for me. I want to, how do I join? Like everyone wanted the meal prep and all of a sudden I was cooking 75 meals a week in my home kitchen, in addition to juggling full-time ER, nursing. And I did that for a summer and I made money. I, my profit. 1800 basically from the summer. Um, but I even looked at renting commercial kitchen space, scaling it, and then I was like the profit.
I'm not even business trained. I just instinctive I'm going to work. This isn't going to work. Like the profit margins are horrible here. No prep. That's why there's no, we'll preface this. Yeah. And then every time they start, they go down. Yeah, it's actually a good, when you're wanting to start a business, look at all the other people who are there other businesses that are successful doing what you are.
That's actually a good sign. Like market saturation is a good sign. That actually there's the demand for your product. If there's no one doing what you're doing, there might be a reason. People think that they're like novel and they're like, oh my gosh, I have this brilliant idea. Nobody's done this before.
And I'm like, they probably have, because no idea new. That's a really good advice for the startup, right? And for recognizing that you have to do your market research and understand the profit margins in comparison, because meal prep can be profitable. If it's partnered with coaching and all these other pieces, it's not necessarily the meal prep, that's profitable, it's the other component.
Um, so I was curious even to go back some more to your history on this understanding of nutrition, like I was raised in a home. My parents were very health conscious. They were like the original Gold's gym rats out in California, and then came to the east coast when my dad was in the military. And so they were like the only people who would be outside running like Virginia Beach was not adopting what was happening in California at that point.
And they're like, why are you? It's freezing outside while you're wearing shorts and running a marathon. What's wrong with you. Now we've come to terms with that. And we're very hell a much a health conscious, but still I go to California. There's like a whole nother realm of health and wellness, and it's still not fully adopted over here.
So what was your childhood like and how did that apply to what you do? Hmm. Great question. So I was raised in Eugene, Oregon, which is a very outdoorsy place. I grew up doing tons of outdoor activities, skiing, biking, hiking, boating. Um, so it's very active as a child. And while I wasn't super into team sports, like I never played sports in middle school or high school.
I just grew up being active, hiking, riding my bike. Um, food was something that I enjoyed. My mom was a big baker. She loves to like, we would go pick strawberries, like fresh from farms, and then she would make them into fresh jam. Um, but she also baked a lot. There was always a dessert, but there was also like, what I remember from childhood is there was always a salad at dinner.
There was always like vegetables, but there was also like white bread and margarine on the table. And then there was also always dessert. Always, always, it was the whole, it was the well-balanced meal. Right? Isn't that what they were taught though. You see the pie chart and it was like 20% here, 30% here.
Oh, don't forget your sugar and your gluten and all the other things that you shouldn't really have. But for some reason, somebody decided it was a good thing. Right. Yeah, exactly. And, um, you know, I never got messages. I was never told to eat less or don't eat things, you know, but I did gain weight as a teenager and while I never dieted or anything as a teenager, I did start working out, uh, distinctly around age 15 or 16, um, and got really into.
As a way to reshape my body. But you know, when you're young, I don't know if other people listening to experience this, but until I was about 28, I could almost eat whatever I wanted and work out and be fine. And it was like 28 is when things started to tip a certain way. And I've noticed this with my clients too, actually, there's something about that age and women's bodies.
Just becomes a little harder to get away with. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely experienced that. I was actually after both of my kiddos though at that point, but I had jumped into fitness and nutrition so early and none of my friends, it was like the hardest sell ever to be a 21 year old. Telling people to come work out with me at five in the morning, they were like, well, absolutely not.
What is wrong with, you know, and they were all tiny, like people, right? Like there is like, do it live in that party life. They were like, no way. You're crazy. And I just always kept saying like, there's gonna come a time. There's gonna come a time. And all of my clients at that point were in their mid forties and fifties, and I was just this.
Young buck, like get us in, get dirty. You can do it. Right. And it wasn't until I had kids. And I hit that age at 28, 29 year old age, where I was like, oh, this is harder than I made it seem, this is really difficult. But at the same point, all of those girls who weren't working out then. Absolutely working out by then and like, how are you so tiny?
You're so little. I'm like, well, it's because I've been training my body for a really long time. You're just getting started. So it's really interesting how that shift. It's also a mindset, right? Like when was your mindset to the place where you're like, this is something I need to do more frequently and it wasn't just a body image thing, or you realize that connection to your wellbeing when you're working.
Yeah, well, like I said, I kind of started focused on working out when I was like 16, 17, and it was very consistent for probably five years all through college. And then I sustained a chronic like foot injury and it kind of took me out of the game for a year. And then I was dealing with that kind of throughout my twenties and it really impacted my activity.
Um, and it's still kind of flares up every now and then, but I think the turning point for me with. Nutrition and exercise, right where nutrition actually came into play was when I was doing CrossFit and I was following a general eating plan. Um, it's called tone it up, which I love the tone it up brand. I love the founders.
Um, but their plan is just a general plan. It's not customized to you individually. Right? And it doesn't focus on specific quantity. It really focuses just on eating quality foods. And there's some interesting food rules they have that I don't think are backed up by. Um, but I followed it and I did lose weight.
I lost like 10 pounds, but I also lost three pounds of muscle. And this was despite doing. CrossFit, like I was lifting heavier weights than I've ever lifted in my life. I'm like, how am I losing muscle? Wow. So then I thought, okay, well, my friend over here, who's 15% body fat and CrossFits two hours a day sheets, pizza, ice cream, whatever she wants, maybe I'll try that strategy and I need to bulk up and eat more.
And guess what? I gained all that fat back. It was all fat 0.6 pounds of muscle. And I was so frustrated because here I am spending $215 a month on CrossFit. So that's what, over $2,600 a year, I'm spending on CrossFit. I'm spending hours of my life at the gym, my sweat, my exhaustion, like my fatigue, like working out as hard and I'm going back.
And that was the moment like that was the moment of no return for me with nutrition, because that was when I invested in a coach, I finally learned about the, not the quantity matters. Like I think there's so much in the wellness world now. That's like, don't count calories. Don't do this. It just eat quality food.
That doesn't matter. And I'm like, if body composition is your goal, In some degree, it doesn't mean you want to be a bodybuilder, but if any change to your body composition is something you desire. Wow. Interesting. I probably am one of those people that is like, oh, you can eat as many things as you want green oriented.
Right? Like my, we do something, um, probably a P it's a combination of like paleo. Mostly vegan. We're like 80, 20 vegan. Um, and then, uh, when it comes to cheese and eggs, obviously not the meat piece for the paleo, but intermittent fasting has been like a huge part of my journey. The last four years. It doesn't work for everyone.
Um, but that truly changed a lot of it. But if you think about it really is connected to. I just never think about it that way. It is. And I'd love to share some research about this that will be really eye opening. So what, what most people are doing intermittent fasting is actually technically called time restricted feeding.
Okay. Yeah. True. Because I don't actually have coffee, so I know I break my fast and technically intermittent fast is not eating for 24 to 48 hours. Oh, wow. That is not what I'm doing. So that's truly what an intermittent that's truly intermittent fasting is, is not eating for 24 to 48 hours. It time restricted feeding is when you decide I'm not going to eat until noon.
And then I will be done with eating by 8:00 PM. That's technically called TRF. But a lot of people think of it as IMF. The research indicates that the only reason that TRF is effective at producing weight loss is because people are leaving less calories during the day. So you can also control for that variable with.
Just measuring less calories per day. Maybe let's go less interesting. So people ask me all the time. I actually got this question twice over the weekend from just people. What do you think about intermittent fasting? I was like, look, if it makes you feel good, if you have more energy waiting, go for it.
Right. But you don't need to do that. That's not like a necessary component. And I think that's my philosophy as a nutritionist, I'm all about cutting through fat. Like what's the science say, like, I go to pub med, I research articles. I have a nursing background. I have a bachelor's of science in nursing.
I'm very like science oriented, but then I have a lot of experience working with clients. So I see what works. So yeah, it's, it's tricky to navigate all the things about. It is, it really is. And I think that there's so much value to it. Like there's all of the conversations around, try this one, do this one.
Well, you should try whole 30. Oh, you should try this one. And it puts people into the state of mind that I have to do this in order to have this result. And, and I really truly believe in it's one of the reasons that I started not only my podcast, but women's. Is to teach them that they don't have to have any sort of diet culture.
Like that's not the state of being that God would want us to be in. It's not the state of being that is sustainable. And I love that in your bio in the way that you talk, you talk a lot about sustainability. And so talk to us about. How that's affected change in the women that you've served and for them to have a, almost sustainable to me in the diet realm, if or the nutrition realm, it equates to freedom.
Yeah. Great question. First one thing I just want to go back and say is all of these different, like eating approaches, right? We use the word diet, or we could just say like eating approach or philosophy, keto vegan, whole 30 macros. It's like, what's your goal? Like none of them are right. And none of them are wrong.
Right. They're just different approaches. If your goal is, um, you know, to make less of a carbon footprint on the planet, you know, and maybe have better digestion, maybe you eat vegan. If your goal is to improve your body composition and. Um, do it in a way where you're getting the best results possible.
Then the macro tracking is going to work for you. Right? If your goal is to have complete freedom with food, you eat whatever you want. You have no rules, but, and you're okay with gaining 20 pounds, then intuitive eating might be great for you. Right. Um, I've actually worked with an intuitive eating coach and I wanted to try it and guess what?
I had freedom with food, but I also gained like 10 pounds. I feel like that would be me. I feel like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day. Guess what? My body,
there's not like one right way to eat. Right. It's like, really? What's your goal. And so my program promise the specific thing I'm really an expert at delivering is improving women's body composition. Right? So many people it's not just lose weight. It's like, well, do you want to lose fat and build muscle?
Like my experience with CrossFit where I lost weight, but I lost muscle. That's not improving body composition really. So I do that through news, through sustainable nutrition, without five fad diets and without forbidden foods. So I think there's a couple of things that make an eating philosophy.
Sustainable one, no forbidden. You cannot eliminate foods from your diet that you enjoy. Like, if you don't want to eat something because you have an allergy to it, or it makes you feel like crap, no problem. You don't have to eat anything. Right. But if you truly enjoy something and think you have to forbid it to improve your body composition, you're going to get into a binge restrict cycle.
Yeah. And honestly, how, how accurate is that towards every component of life, nutrition, fitness, spiritual self, relational health. Like the overdrive of, of achievement, perfectionism, like all of that actually applies to that concept. Yeah, totally. When we completely like forbid things, they become like huge temptations.
I think it's a tricky thing to navigate. So I think that makes some, that makes something sustainable. I have my clients, like I just reviewed my clients today and I was so delighted because one of my clients. I had this butternut squash, grilled cheese sandwich, and it was totally something that was craving.
And I love that I can have the foods that I want and fit them in, in the right ratio and frequency. So that's another component of something being sustainable, especially if your goal is body composition is what's the ratio and frequency that your particular body can tolerate this food. And you also achieve the results that you want physique wise for your body, because what I've discovered working with women is they want.
Like, they don't want the extreme bodybuilding diet. That's going to take them down to 12% body fat. Like they don't want that strict diet, but they also don't want to gain 20 pounds. Right. They don't want the health at every size movement. Like at least not the women coming to me. Yeah, I agree. And I think that there's so much power in the ability to do the both and, and recognizing that there's a way that you can keep that in a sustainable fashion.
I think through like sustainability in your faith and spiritual self, and you mentioned the word frequencies and a lot of people who listen to my podcast know that I'm always. Rejecting the woo concept, because I believe that it's all in connection to our higher selves and who God has intended for us to be, um, and rejecting doesn't help.
Right. And so if you're not willing to explore, then you're actually, you're limiting your. We all have a story bits and pieces of ourselves that we keep hidden from the world and worry chasing perfectionism instead of progression, chasing materialism, instead of worth
chasing the hourglass figure instead of health chasing accolades in American dreams, instead of wealth
chasing relationships, rather than intimacy chasing life. Instead of the church, we stand naked and afraid, unknown and covered in shame. But I refuse to let Pandora's box, let us stay stifled and Laney destined to live a life of freedom, integrity and love unshackled. Beautiful worthy. No. From above
his promises. And the rainbow past the storm or in it, we stands here, not alone together, women, we endure always becoming.
And so talk to us about what your knowledge is around like frequency and energy connected to like the scientific methodologies of food, health, wellness. Hmm. Okay. Just to clarify, when I was talking about frequency in that context, I was meaning like how often you eat the food. Gotcha. Okay. But we can totally talk about also the frequency and energetics around food.
There's a great book. I read a few years ago around food energetics and there's some really interesting concepts in that book where it actually talked about that we will seek food and drinks that actually, um, aligned with our current energetics. So for example, and this I'll just give an example from my own life.
When I was working, building my business as an entrepreneur, I drank a lot of coffee. And, um, I am caffeine free right now. This is my natural water. Y'all no stimulants, no nothing, no
I'm water. Um, but I used to drink a lot of caffeine and what I discovered was I was anxious a lot. And caffeine matched that caffeine has the frequency and energy of anxiety. It's a sympathetic nervous system stimulant. Wow. And so I've learned that sometimes people are matching like the, the food energy, like what kind of, how they're feeling like if you're feeling depressed and sluggish and down, you tend to pick foods that match that they're sluggish foods, like cheese and bread.
Like I call them comfort foods, right. Only they make themselves feel. Um, but it's actually like making you less comfortable actually causing you to have inflammation and lethargic, and you want to go back to sleep. I was all up in that for so long to the point where I was taking like three hour naps per day.
Wow. I would wake up and I had convinced myself, especially when I was pregnant, but even before and after that I needed to eat when I woke up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And so I would go and have like one, sometimes two bowls of cereal and then go back to sleep. And I was so lethargic.
I was like, I had this natural, this is my natural energy too, but I would crash and I would sleep upwards of anywhere from 10 to 12 hours a night. T two newborns like to toddler a newborn and people are always like, how do you sleep? I'm like when they nap, I nap. When they, every single time there is no getting around it.
And it wasn't until I started releasing the genres of food that were actually attached to my energy. And my husband actually got me to do the things and practice the way of eating that he had for so long, um, that it shifted not only my wellbeing and my mindset towards food, but also, um, my body image and how I was utilizing my body as a vessel.
This was like, almost like a, you can see, even in pictures, it's like pre Jesus post Jesus. Not necessarily that Jesus changed my body, but there was a new sense of Stuart. That I had in my body that was not there before. And I was also suppressed in shame, based on body image, based on expectations of women and our body image.
And so I'd be curious as you work with women, how has, how has like culture shaped what they think their bodies should be or how they're eating, even, even talking. Alcohol being like a natural coping mechanism. Like everyone goes to happy hour, so I'll go to happy hour and happy hours, not just an hour.
It's five hours. Oh, wow.
Wow. Yeah, there's a lot here. I think when I came to faith, one of the things that drew me to faith was really being so disgusted and fed up with like the culture of sexuality. And the lack of sacredness around sexuality and the just like demean men and debasement of both men and women like their sacredness.
Right. Beautiful word. Yeah. And, and that was honestly the thing that even led me to faith. Like that was my path to Jesus. This like sexuality is sacred. I kept getting that message from God. Wow. Yeah. I was like, where's this coming from? Like, I'd been an atheist for 30 years. That's amazing. Yeah. And I still feel that very deeply inside me.
Like, there's this strong revulsion I have to the exploitation of bodies. Um, so I think for me, I see that played out in advertising. Marketing entertainment, indoctrination, indoctrination of women that, you know, our bodies are here to gratify others, gratify men, gratify employers, gratify, you know, our parents gratified.
All these people. And one of the things that has helped me body image wise, like I want to look my best naked for my future husband. I want, my body is a gift that I will give to him and share with him and same with my sexuality. But I also, um, I also have discovered that dressing more modestly. Has actually made me have better body image.
I love that. And not like a half too. I'm not here to be like, you know, shame somebody for what they're wearing, but I'll wear a bikini at the pool, whatever. But in general, I have found that, oh, you know what, my, I don't have to show my body to society. My body is not on display for you. Yeah. That's really beautiful.
And interestingly, because. Past history to myself. And I don't know how much of my story, you know, um, but the book that I just released always becoming sex shame and love, talks a lot about the sexual piece to cultural, um, expectations that I placed on my body based on sexual trauma, but also based on pornography and then cyber sex.
And like all of these pieces that I've realized, the more that I share is actually not me Tamra in a cycle of. You're the odd one out. It's more so we've all experienced it, but we don't know how to talk about. And so I think that there's something really beautiful in the fact that you've tapped into that, especially so young and being able to serve not only your future husband, um, with a gift that is you, but also the representation to women, single women who feel the antithesis of that.
They feel the pool of that secular sexuality, um, and feeling that that's the way that they're going to find their husband. Yeah. And I even see, like, so I have clients who are Christian and I have clients who are not sure. And, um, you know, with one of my Christian clients, she was feeling, she was very driven to improve her body composition and she's mature in her faith, but I started to kind of, you know, We like, you know, why, why do you want to change your body even more?
Like, do you think it's going to attract a man? And I started to realize that, you know, she was around very skinny Christian women, like various other who were all married. And it was like easy to see the jump in her logic. Right. Like if my body looks like. There are bodies. I will get the thing that I want that I still don't have.
Right. And I think it's so important that we like become aware of those beliefs that we have that are. Um, and that we unpack them. Yeah. Yeah. So it's so valuable. Um, it's been interesting as a mom to navigate that for my kiddos and for them to not have shame towards their body. Um, but also to protect what that looks like.
I have a little boy who eight and a little girl who's six and. Like we all kind of like are in the same space all the time. Like our bedroom is the bedroom. Everyone sleeps in the same room. We shower in the same room. Like, and it's been interesting navigating as they've gotten older because when they're little, it's so cute that they walk around a little naked heinies running around.
Right. And as they get older, they're like, why can't I do that? And my son specifically has always been very curious about the fact that like Adam and Eve were naked and then they. And he's like, well, they can do it and Africa can do it. Right. Like just, I'm like, yeah, but there's like components of protection and this is why we choose to wear clothes.
He'd be Mo like he's literally Mowgli. He's got long hair. He would be naked all the time. If I let him or just a piece of skirt, he'd be okay with that. It's a loincloth. Totally, totally tight. So it's been interesting navigating. Protection of their body and the vessel that it is while also celebrating their sexuality, because that was never a conversation in my house.
I don't know about you, but like it was sex was not a conversation. There was no birds and the bees conversation like that, wasn't a thing. And so it's been really interesting to navigate as well. Yeah. Wow. That's so interesting. I mean, I grew up in an atheist household and so I was given like, my sex talk was like bees and birds.
Like I was told, like the base, like I understood what sex was in fifth grade. Like I was actually, it was an assignment. At school to like go home and ask your parents. And I did that and they were just very open with me, but they, because they were secular, they weren't like sexist between a husband and a wife.
Right. They weren't like, this is something that you want the sacred, like there wasn't, there wasn't any of those conversations. So I was, I was just kind of like on my own, trying to navigate that. What informed me was fashion magazines like Vogue Harper's bizarre 17 yam. Cause I was a teenager in the nineties before the internet.
So I like read a lot of fashion magazines, watch a lot of TV and that kind of saturated my brain with body image. And I've had to really work to reprogram and be like, my body is healthy. My body is strong. My body is beautiful. Like, oh, I have some cellulite. Yeah. So does like 99.9% of the other women on the planet.
It's so true. And it's, so it's so necessary for, I think women to have more open conversations about that and the feeling and the suppression of what that's entailed. And I think guys. Even when I talk to, um, or you, I don't really specifically talk to men about my body, but my husband, for instance, in the, in the transition that has occurred in my understanding of body image and sexuality and nutrition, even cause he's a huge proponent of that, it has changed the way that.
Serve people like when they're in our home, like the types of food, um, what we allow in our space, what we don't allow in our space, what we'll treat people too, when we go out to eat versus what we won't. Um, we've actually given up alcohol. Not forever, but it's just a component of alcoholism that runs in our family.
And it's been almost two and a half years. And just this other weekend we had like, we had like 14 people over. Right. And like, it's a party, of course. And I was like, Hey, I'll bring side of beer. And I'm like, oh, Actually, we have had a dry house for the last two and a half years, and we want to protect our children from having to be around it and thinking that that's okay all the time.
That's amazing. Yeah. But it's hard. That's a hard thing to do because I'm like, I'll hang out with you at a brewery any day, but at our boundaries. Yeah. Wow. And how did people handle that? If they were totally fine, they were like, oh, no big deal. That's awesome. But I'm sure they went out afterwards, right?
Well, this kind of leads back to alcohol, which I wanted to talk a little bit about too, because I see this as being one of the biggest struggles for some of my clients, some of my clients are sober or dry, or they just don't care about alcohol or they drink minimally and it's no big deal, but when you're trying to improve your body composition, if you drink more than one.
To two drinks really more than one a week as a woman, it will slow or impair or completely plateau your body calm progress, even if you're accounting for it within. Calories, um, which I teach my clients to do. So I have a client who's been struggling, kind of I'm in a plateau, you know, like it's not, I'm like, well, you had six and a half alcoholic drinks last week.
That's a lot. It's actually a lot. So I think alcohol's become so normalized in our. Culture. And I also have noticed it can be normalized within the Christian culture because I was, I was going out with a Christian Guy earlier this year who was very straight-laced about all the things, except he had no issue with the fact that he wanted to drink three to five drinks every night, Wednesday through Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, he didn't drink.
I'm like the fact that you have rules is, and when I brought it up to him, Hey, I have this concern. It really doesn't work for me. He, he ended it with me, which was, which was totally fine. It wasn't aligned, but I was like, wow, I think, and I think because in the Bible they talk about wine and things like.
And he's like, well, I never get drunk. And I'm like, if you have a tolerance that alcoholics don't get drunk either. Yes. You're so right. You're so right. And it is, it's like a, it's a completely normalized, there's a gal that I've had on my podcast. Um, she has a company called gray tonic, and it's all about this concept of it as being a normalization and that we should really inhibit ourselves because it's no different than anything else.
The best analogy that I can give. And hopefully you can take hold of this and pass it to some of your. Is if we were at dinner together and it was time for us to order dessert and everyone's like, Hey, yeah, let's get a dessert. And we all ordered our own dessert. We shared and everything. And then it was time to get the bill.
And I was like, actually, I'm going to have another dessert. You guys will be like, oh, wow. Wow. Okay. I'm going to have another dessert. I eat the other dessert. Everyone's kind of like giving me the side-eye right. And then I'm like, actually I think I'm gonna have, can I try the other dessert on the menu?
And if I continued to do that and I had five to seven days, People would be very concerned. There would be a conversation. There would be a right. Thank you. Had enough. Don't you think? Are you okay? Like, what's wrong. You're going to have a heart attack or a diabetes episode, like something is wrong, but the alcohol is the same sugar content and that's totally okay.
Mm, yeah. In the toxins, I'll a hundred percent. It's like alcohol molecules, which are straight up toxic to the liver. So that so bad. So just to think about it from that lens, it allows people to be like, oh, okay. That's not okay. Two is not okay like that. People don't do that. And so I just think it's a, it's a really tangible experience for people to see, like, okay, now I get it.
And at least I can be conscientious of the fact that I'm about to order a second that's order around two. And that's what, what happened. So to play that with like, this is a brownie center. Just think of your, your it as a brownie Sunday, maybe you won't get seven of them. Yeah. And it's, you know, another thing that I'm going to be walking my clients through this tonight, actually, um, on the calling waiting for them, but, okay.
Why are you drinking? What, why do you even drink this thing? Are you thirsty? Because water fill back. Right. But like, okay. What is alcohol give you access to? Well, when I used to drink. Um, I, I barely drink at all now for mental health, emotional, physical. Spiritual reasons. I just don't need it. Right. Um, but when I did drink, okay, what did it give me access to?
It relieved my stress or feelings of tension or anxiety in my body very quickly. It made me, um, have less social anxiety because when I was in new social situations, I had social anxiety made me less inhibited. I felt more playful and fun. When I was out with friends, it made me more bold at times talking.
So I've listed all these things that it gave me. Well, why do I think I can't generate those feelings for myself sober. Totally. And it's such a hard thing to do when you're so used to the opposition of that and really through mental health and through the exploration of therapy and like, how do you actually deal with those emotions?
Those emotions of anxiety, social anxiety. Those emotions of stress and instead of going tours, and that was the culprit of this, which is one of the reasons that we tried to stop drinking and did, I would come home and my kids knew at four years old mom was going to have a glass of wine. Do you want me to pour you a glass of wine?
Wow. We're asking you that. Oh yeah. Wow. I would only have a glass, but I was also selling wine at the time. So I was the wine sales rep that didn't drink for a while. And then I was like, this just doesn't and go together, even taste the nodes. I don't even know what to tell you if it's good. It probably sucks.
I'm not sure, but it was the recognition. It's not just you, that notices the need. There are people around you who are noticing that this is your only time that you're that joyful. Your only time that you're not free. And I wanted to experience freedom in every component of my being. And it took a lot of hardship and actually having conversations like real communications about how I felt with my husband.
Versus just like, Hey, let's have sex because we just had a couple of glasses of wine. And imagine what sexuality means, what femininity means, what sacred experience of intimacy exists when you have no alcohol in your system, it's like turning the lights. And we did, and it was beautiful. It's been beautiful, but it took a while to get to that.
Yeah. It's, it's a challenging substance for people to, to navigate through. I have a lot of people who, because I, I have them drink less alcohol and I really push them towards that. They have to confront this stuff and I'll have people be like, I know this program, wasn't like a sobriety program, but like I CA I got so frustrated, stopped drinking or like, I drink less now, you know, and it really makes my heart happy because.
Um, the less I drink personally, I have discovered like, if I have a drink on vacation or man, I feel like crap usually like that night, the next day. And I'm just like, yeah, it's, it's really not. I can generate, I can generate playfulness and joy and fun and courage and boldness without alcohol. Yeah. Uh, and how much more powerful you are as a female presence to be able to do that?
You know, I think it just gives out. That energy and frequency. That's going to literally attract your husband in such an organic beautiful way. Um, and it's gonna be just as an agent to what you do in the healthcare industry for women, it's going to shift their mindset in such a beautiful way. So I'm, I'm grateful for you and you're not even my coach, but I know you're out in the world serving in that way.
It's just really beautiful. Yeah, it's a privilege to walk with women through this journey, because one of the things I've discovered as a nutrition coach is it is not just about nutrition. Like if there's a lot of knowledge that I just teach people and I love teaching and I have a dope curriculum and I just love giving knowledge, but.
Like, if you are wanting to transform your relationship to food, when you start working with me because you have boundaries and like guard rails and principles and frameworks, you're working inside of all of a sudden, you have to, you feel the boundary and now you have to confront like all your old coping mechanisms and what you're not dealing with.
And like how you use this as a band-aid. That work can be confronting and uncomfortable and not everyone can handle it. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. But it's so needed. That's what that whole entire being needs, right? Like that's the mind body soul piece. And for a long time in my coaching, people couldn't like put phrases to what exactly I did for them.
They're like, okay, I hired this business. But I just had marriage counseling. I hired this business coach. No, but I just started eating or in this specific way by landscape design and like all the things that we get to teach. And so I'm constantly in a realm of like learning and getting new information from so many.
Sources that really feed into every component of humanity because I've shifted my entire curriculum from business first to being first. And it has to be identity work. It has to be the whole being before you go out to serve the world from a broken place. Isn't that the predicament that we're in right now.
So I don't like to slap like complete labels on anyone until I feel like they are free from this bondage before they go out to serve. Yeah, that's so good. I know for me, like my spiritual practices have really helped me navigate my relationship with food. For example, I do a fear resolution exercise that my therapist gave me.
My therapist is Christian. And, um, it's basically listing out your fears to God. Like, what are you afraid of? And then you list out what you would like God to do, right? So it's like petition and then. Thanksgiving. It's like writing out all the things you're grateful for. And then you end with, I hate to admit it, but fill in the blank and like what comes up for me almost every time I journal is I hate to admit it God, but I don't trust you to provide for me or like, God, I hate to admit it, but I still don't think you're enough to fulfill me or like, It's like a flavor.
It's like one of those flavors, right? Absolutely. And then you finish with, I want to reassure you that blank and that's where you hear like, God speak to truth. And I've been doing that exercise consistently and regularly, whenever I have anxiety, even if it's just a few and I feel like this clarity and my spirit and my energy now, because I'm just like, constantly like bringing that to God and just like moving through.
I love that. I've never heard of that before. Oh, I can send it to you, but it, I, you gotta do. You can't just like compartmentalize. You got to do the mental work. I always say you gotta do the inner work and the outer work at the same time to achieve any result in life. And that's literally how fit. The births is that I was doing a ton of mental health growth and I was going to a gym, a bootcamp style gym for the first time.
And I remember going in and the music that was playing, I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I couldn't listen to the vulgarity of the music. It was that trigger that shifted in my spirit that I was like, this is not okay. They're all. It was a women's gym. They're all working out so they can have this bootylicious situation.
And here I am like repeating in my spirit. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Trying to get my workout on. Cause I love the gyms so much, but it's not just a matter of what the output looks like. It's the input and input is in your ears. It's in your eyes. It's in your mouth. That's the nutrition piece. So it's, it's really cool.
And that's why I started taking women on retreats and writing the book that I wrote and doing the podcast. So I haven't had a nutritionist and fitness conversation on here in so long. And so I am so grateful to have connected with you, and I want everyone to know how they can do so more often. Is Instagram, you're hitting out there's links already attached to everywhere.
But, so my favorite place to hang out on a daily basis is Instagram. So it's always like popping over there, like posts. I go live every Tuesday night on my Instagram and then. Stories, and you can always connect with me there. And my DMS, that's the best place to reach out. Ask questions, connect. But then, um, yeah, I also have a podcast, the positive thread.
I release new episodes on Sundays and I have a website, which is my name, Heather mcconaughy.com. So you can find me in the. Yeah, I love it. Well, I am grateful to be connected with you. I'm excited to listen to your vodcast and see what it's all about. And I am, I'm grateful for the work that you're doing truly thank you for standing in the gap for the people who haven't figured it out yet.
Well, thank you so much for having me. It was an honor. It was a pleasure chat soon.
Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sends an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.
You tuned it to share your sparked moment and tag me at bitten faith underscore podcast, or me personally at T. And dress on. Instead. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and faith podcast listeners. We're totally in this together community over competition is the motto, right?
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