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  • Tamra Andress

Confidently Bold with Carla Arges



Carla Arges just blew my mind during this interview. She put her tribulations and tests into ultimate truth that allows her to help others to walk boldly in their purpose. Her standing confidently has allowed her to train others to stand in their own God-fidence to walk fully and whole in who God meant for them to be. I was blessed and I know you will be, too! Check out her resources!

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https://www.eventbrite.com/e/grow-your-business-for-gods-sake-tickets-166089996651

About Carla:

Carla is an entrepreneur, author, mom, wife, and mental health advocate. She is the founder of Affirming Truths, a platform to help women affirm their identity in Christ. Her mission is to help women gain confidence in who they are so that they can walk more boldly in the purpose God has over their life.

Where to Find Carla:

Website: https://www.carlaargeswellness.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/carlaarges/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/carlaargeswellness

Show Notes: Confidently Bold

Holy deep. Holy deep, you guys. You're going to be incredibly blessed by Carla Artez today. She blew my mind and the eloquence of how she tied in her tribulations, her tests, how she put them together for truth. Ultimate affirming truth. It's how she stands in her identity. It's how she stands confidently.


It's why and how she trains others to stand, not in just secular worldly confidence, but in God's guidance, learning how to walk boldly in your purpose and being the true, full whole genuine vulnerable. Also gracefully, broken, imperfect. Beautiful color human that you are. I was incredibly blessed by this time, and I know you will be too.


And if you are looking for confidence, she has so many incredible resources. I encourage you to get connected with her. And I hope that you see me sooner than later in a conference or a retreat. Or a coaching experience or just send me a DM, right? Just get in connection, get in community with other people's.


You can borrow their belief system. You can borrow our confidence. Carla and I are willing to share that. So you have to ask. There has to be a connection point. There has to be a, I'm not just going to listen, I'm going to respond. And so I hope that this motivates you into response of your identity and truly say yes, right?


Say yes to the call of your life. We love you for excited for you. Say yes confidently. You've got this.


This is your God wink. The moment that heaven says for such a time as this it's time to own your joy, prioritize your health, discover your wealth and exude your wholeness. It's time to become truly fit. However, this isn't a fitness podcast though. I'm a retired personal trainer and nutritionist, this isn't business jargon or tips and tricks to landing your successful passion project though.


That's still only wine with business. This isn't a quick fix health detox ploy though. I'm all for therapy and I love whole foods. I do have a Yolo side, sweet tooth though. This isn't confusing religious banter though. I'm an ordained minister, still figuring out the many things and facets and faces of Jesus.


It's really none of that. So I'm wondering if you're wondering what is this? Well, this is an opportunity to join me alongside other big dreamers. State of movers and lifestyle shakers, as we explore and share our messy comeback stories and discoveries with each of you fellow passionate seekers, the fit and faith movement was birthed through my own trial and error discovery of mind, body, and soul alignment, and to be totally transparent, my own entrepreneurial crash and burn experiences.


I've learned firsthand that being fit isn't about our physique at all. It's not about our qualifying abilities or titles. It's not about our potential. It's truly about our God gifted passions, meeting our purpose. You are one step away from achieving your idea, your dream, your calling, your purpose, whatever you want to call it.


And I want to be there for the moment that you say yes, in freedom, clarity, and confidence that you are living fully fit and who, and whose you were made to be welcome to the fit and faith podcast with me, Tamra and dress, there is no better time than now. Yeah. Live in inaction, Carla, we're so excited to have you.


This is going to be such an awesome time. You guys, if you have yet to meet Carla, she is living her life on purpose. And I know you desire the same thing, which is why you show up to the fit and bait podcast every single week, week by week for the last three years, it's been such an amazing journey. And today.


Um, any other, we are going to be leaning into a new conversation and I say this with expectancy because I don't know what that comment that's going to be. And I love it so much. Carla was, was an overweight, overwhelmed, mom, wife, and Christian, but she was battling a mood disorder and a painful past. And I know for me purposely, um, I've been in a.


Similar to many of those. So I'm excited to just kind of unpack the similarities in our stories, the differences in our stories and how we can uniquely serve the listeners today. Carla, we were so grateful to have you. Thanks for being here. So happy to be here. It's going to be a good one. So I always love to like see where people jump in.


When I say let's introduce yourself, like you go to the storyline that just speaking to you right now, maybe something. Recent, maybe something that, um, happened in childhood. Um, but really my intent here is for us to just be open books for people to learn how to live their best life, um, with God as the first.


I love that. So let's just jump right in. Um, and you know, I am the living breathing example of how God can redeem our past for his glory and use them to create beautiful purpose. I did grow up in a Christian home. Um, but things got dark because as we know, Christian homes aren't necessarily perfect homes and there was childhood trauma.


There was a lot of messiness and I ended up being out on my own and homeless, but at time I was 13, um, tried to take my own life battled through. Addiction battled through multiple relationships felt so abandoned by God that I looked to fill that void in all the wrong places, you know, sex, drugs, rock and roll.


And. You know, nothing fills the God shaped hole in our heart. Um, but God is so good. He knew what my story was going to be before I knew it. And I remember as a little child. One of the things I love most was hearing the story of the prodigal son. And that's not your typical childhood story, right? Like right.


The king James version. Like that was not the typical story, but God was so good planting the story in me, knowing the path that I would take, that I would be this prodigal daughter and that I would one day need and want to go home, but have the shame of my past, be a barrier. And yet here is this story that he is waiting for me, arms wide open and want me back and lets me so much.


Um, and I was reunited with the Lord and that's not where the struggles ended. Um, I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder and it's been a journey in. And walking through that with faith, um, a journey and being hurt by the church in dealing with mental illness, um, a journey in trying to show up to be the mother he's created me to be and a journey and not allowing the devil to use my past.


And my present circumstance as evidence that I'm disqualified. To live for God as evidence of disqualified to be used for by God dot qualifies me. It's not my past, it's not my mental illness and it's who he is and who he's created me to be. And I would say definitely since COVID, I've been on this mission.


To really help women affirm their identity in Christ. Culture wants to shape our identity. Our path wants to shape our identity. The enemy wants to speak into our lives, that it takes intentionality to rewrite that script. And it's an everyday. Every day, intentional bile that I am not going to listen to the slide I'm going to rewrite the story.


And the author of that story is going to be Christ in his word and what he says about me. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay, good. We're done. See you guys, next time you got a lot of it. That's all we need. Right? Like, that's incredible. And I love how succinctly you're able to tell your story. Of course, as you're sharing every single piece, I am super curious.


I want to ask a thousand questions in. We're having a podcast. That's exactly what I get to do. So, um, I am amazed first off and foremost, and knowing that. He is the author and finisher of our stories is just so rejuvenating. Um, it's reviving. And as you said, it allows us to show up intentionally every single day in the faith and trust that it's already been written.


And I know from so many angles, whether it's from that motherhood journey, whether it's from being a wife, whether it's just literally showing up for ourselves and looking in the mirror, Always something that's combating the truth of the fact that we are not in control, right? Like we are trying so desperately to be the best mom, the best wife, the best woman, the best child of God.


But guess what our best desires, our best foot forward is, is not what he's looking for. It's not by our works that we are loved. It's not by any of those things that we are qualified or labeled a child. Yeah, gifted us that from the beginning of foundation. So it's just amazing to see your passion in that and how it's been cultivated day by day by day and everything that you've been going through.


And I would have a challenge to say and their mission of best. Yes, because the times where we trip up too. Right. So true. Yeah. I think that's a huge comparison trap. The enemy's lies, right? Like we are, who are we paralleling our lives to only him. Right. Like everything is through him. And then even in that, we feel like we've fallen short of the glory of God, but then there is.


Yeah, and there is mercy. And I feel like having the word, having the biblical reference and the living word to be able to go to on the days that I feel the most down in any of those regards, whether it is through comparison. Cause I don't know about you, but there's still like the trap, right? There's still.


All of the circling, limiting beliefs, the unworthiness, the in capability, the imposter syndrome. Right. Even as you're standing up to start speaking and sharing about this in a bigger way, tell us how you've been like combating the enemy and the process. Well, I have post-it notes on my things, um, but it is learning how to speak back.


Like, and one of the things that I did at the start of the pandemic is. I've got to get control over my thoughts. I've got to get control over how I'm thinking. I've got to get control over this script. Um, and I started to dig deep into the Bible about what does he say about me? Um, and I ended up actually creating a whole deck of cards about them.


And I use these all the time. And it's my mantra is what does he say about me? He says, I'm planned with purpose. He says, I'm redeemed. He says, I'm loved. I've come to. Except the fact that I may not be able to stop the thought from entering my head. I think sometimes we feel defeated because the thought arises.


I don't think that we can stop every thought that enters our head, but we can control how long it stays there. We can control the narrative. It allows to spin. We can control what effect it's going to have on it. So I no longer beat myself up over having the thought. I'm just quick to say, Nope, that's a lie.


I see you, but you don't get any time in this Headspace. I am a temple of the holy spirit. I'm a daughter of the king. I am wonderfully made an enemy past whatever you don't get to tell me different because the only person that can define me is my creator. So unless you created me, you don't get a word.


And so I'm teaching myself. And that's the thing of like having the post-it notes, having the Bible, having those scriptures, having those mantra cards right near you, because it says like, if we don't know what the word says, of course those thoughts are going to be what controls us. But when you have that comeback, that combative ability to say not today to say, no, this is the lie.


I think that's where a lot of us struggle is. If you don't know the word, if you're not practicing. Space on a consistent basis. It's out of sight out of mind, even though I believe like, just like that story of the prodigal son was planted into your spirit as w w it's not going to go away from you no matter how long you've been, God chases us down right.


Recklessly. And that seed was there with intention so that you knew that there was this, this storyline that was going to come to play even subconsciously. If you didn't realize it, your body knew eventually you'd be back in his house. And I think it's just so critical for us to understand the, how, like the actual, tangible, how do I do that?


One of the gals who's listening ly was saying that she has such a hard time taking those thoughts, captive that it's a process that it's every single day, the practice of, right. Yeah. But you said that it is a practice. You don't just pick up a basketball and become liberal James. You are daily out there training.


You're a training. We are training for this life in Christ training for this life. It says to run your race, we are we're athletes here, athletes train. We have to train our thoughts. You're so right. You guys, this is, I mean, this is the thing though, too, is like, if we're in this, this forever process and I say forever, because eternity is, is the, is the goal, right?


Is to know that we are in this process of practice every single day. And there's actually no destination of success. It is one allows you to grow that endurance that were intended to grow, but it also makes you realize that there isn't like this resting point. And I think a lot of times people have these visions or goals set out for them.


And I'm thinking both from like a business practicality standpoint, but even like, as a mother, right. You, I hear this all the time. Like. Once they're out of the house, like we're just going to get them to 18, but how many moms do you know? My mom included who have said it's actually harder when they get to that point, because one now you're out of what you thought was controlled or out of that nest and, or listening to you at all.


And you're like, no. So the milestones that I think secular world and just, um, society as a whole, whether Christian or not set on that. Actually enable us to feel less than if we haven't met that standard. So you're 30 years old and not married. No kids. What's wrong. That's not how God sees you. You're 50 years old and, or let's say you're seven years old and you're still working and you're not retired.


What's wrong with you? Like, there's, there's so many labels and that society puts on to us and you've experienced labels that, you know, I haven't yet to experience and, and maybe never will. And so I'm curious, how do you combat that piece of it? So, like you said, it is a journey, um, and it takes time and a lot of the labels, um, I honestly put on myself and I assume other people will label me that I think oftentimes we are so afraid of people judgments.


We assume what they're going to think about us based on what we think about ourselves based on our own insecurity. Um, and certainly with mental illness, there's stigma and labels in the general public around that. And it comes back to affirming truth in my life who gets to label me, who gets to name me, um, I've had to do a lot of healing.


I've I'm in therapy. I love my therapist. She's wonderful. Um, I've had to do a lot of healing and I've had to, um, extend a lot of grace and forgiveness to myself and to others. Um, and I think that there's growth in overcoming when you can overcome your own. Internal voice when you can overcome your old own negative thinking, then what other people say is never as bad as what we say to ourselves, we are the worst to ourselves.


And as I get strong in certainty is I root my identity in Christ. If I get sure that I know that I know that I know who I am. And even when I doubt it, it's still true because God doesn't lie. And it's from his mouth that other people's words don't mean anything they can't. And this is something that I'm trying to teach my son right now.


He's becoming a teenager and he's in this very, very vulnerable spot. He has OCD himself. He has facial tape. And he gets worried, you know, what are people gonna think about me? And they say that what's most important is what does God think about you? And second of all, what do you think about you? What do you think about you?


You can't control, you can't control what other people are gonna think. You can't control. What other people do, you know, people pleasing is the most exhausting job out there. You're never going to please everyone. You're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. And I think we have to get okay. With that, um, and get really comfortable being our authentic self when we're not being authentic.


How can we love and respect ourselves when we're wearing all these different masks and we're contorting our personality to fit what we think is a certain group, or to get certain accolades, how can we trust ourselves? How can we. Fall in love with who God created us to be. How can we allow the gifts and talents he's placed in us flourish when we're so busy, trying to be everything to everyone else.


So learning how to be your authentic self through a lot of healing. And again, it's, it is a firming truth. It is a rooting your identity in Christ. It has to start there. It has to start there in my opinion. Totally agree. I'm right there. If you, and I think that was definitely a massive part of my journey and what you're talking about mask and people pleasing and contorting yourself in order to have that, that socially accepted experience.


Right. Um, as such a part of my journey and it was exhausting and at some point in your life, and I think this happens to a lot of us, we get to be, yeah. This cycle and we're ending up trying to break free of the cycle consistently. And so that race that we're having is really just a race against self.


And there, we don't allow God to come and interrupt that cycle because I believe when he comes in and we get to that place of surrender surrender, whether you think it or not is a place of stop, even if you're moving, even if life is still going, because it is time is still ticking and what we understand time to be, but surrender is a place of, I can't.


Anymore and I won't anymore. And I need you. And so it's that, knowing that in that change, it's a shift of, of, um, authority and saying, I, it's not about I it's about the, I am. Right. And that I am is him who is within me and therefore I can endure, therefore I can show up in that place and still be me and the buzzword, authenticity and vulnerability.


You know, it's shared everywhere now. I think, I don't know if it was Bernay brown who broke into the vulnerability space or not, but ultimately it's a Bible thing and the Bible happened way before Renee brown, lovey girl, but it's the truth. And so knowing that our testimonies, the truth of our testimonies and also our identity being rooted in Christ alive.


You to show up just as you are in perfectly so, but perfect in his eyes. And that's where the prodigal son finally came to the realization of, even though I'm sure on that walk back, he was like, what's going to happen. I'm sure he was thinking what's going to happen to me, but I don't have another choice at this point.


And then that's when we both experienced, I would love to hear this from you. What was that come to experience for you after having. The Christian home, growing up, the Christian Church also hurting. Right? How did you come back into this intimate experience rather than this corporate break that has occurred in your life?


I love that. Um, he pursued me. One-on-one. He didn't pursue me through a car corporate church. He didn't pursue me, um, through rules and restrictions. He didn't pursue me with formality. He just came in after my broken heart, I have such a broken heart. I was so broken and he came to bind up my wounds. And it was, I didn't grow up feeling safe.


I didn't grow up feeling secure. And that moment when I surrendered did that surrender, like it's not working my way less of me, that more of you. I need you to come and fix my life. I felt safe and secure for the first time. In a long time. And it was just that embrace of a loving father. Now it's a partnership, right?


Like relationships are, are two way streets. I had to do this to render and allow him to come in and surrender is not a one time activity. It is something we need to do daily, sometimes hourly. Um, To lay down our plants for his will. You know, it's like thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. They will be done in my life.


And knowing that his heart for us is such goodness is such goodness that I don't have to doubt or fear. I used to doubt and fear a lot. Um, and I've just come to this place through daily surrender. To know that God's got me now. I still with bipolar and borderline personality. I still have fluctuations. I very much was in a dark place a week and a half ago.


My husband had to sit with me. I still get into deep depressions. I still get into highs. There's something about that one that will never change. But even when I'm there. I have Jesus, even when I'm there, I'm surrendering that moment to have, and I feel safe even the midst of overwhelming despair. Not because I don't have faith, but because of illness, I am still sure of God.


And I'm still sure. Of his hope in his plan, Jeremiah 29 11. I cling to that verse so much. He has a hope and a plan and a future for me and my mental illness. Can't take that away. The enemy can't take that away my past. Can't take that away. My shame can't take that away because it's hits a. Massive heart.


Um, massive. I'll say call because it, it, it's what wakes me, um, beyond cultivating business, which I think a lot of people might think, ah, she's a business coach. Um, it's, it's more so about shame and it's more so about obliterating shame because I don't feel like anyone can stand into their truest calling until that piece is removed and shame looks so different for every single person.


A lot of people will, will think that fear superstar. Um, shame or vice versa. Um, I really believe that shame is the root fear is the response to the shame. And I think that if we can get into those buses, um, of people's humanity into the crevice of their soul, into their heart, um, and really truly deposit and like imagining this like syringe, right.


Um, I'm anti-vaccine by the way, I mean, I identify as vaccine. I'm sorry. Did I say that wrong? I just am imagining this syringe going into people's just souls, their minds, everything. And in the love of Christ, infiltrating those places, because ultimately that's what we're all looking for. We're looking for that true understanding of love, that true understanding of being seen and known.


And still loved. Right. And it allows us to like break free from what was a bondage, what was a shackling of, um, so that we can just breathe. Like I remember being able to breathe. Yeah. And, and there is nothing that. Then just releasing that deep side because it sits inside. We, we, I think society often lives in this shallow breath.


Right. And there's a lot of like steady scientifically to like the deep breathing experience. And if you've never studied Wim, Hoff, I would totally recommend him. He's incredible. Um, he can heal based on breath and I believe that there is such a connection to God through our breath. Cause that's how he breathed life into us at the beginning.


But I just remember. When I first breathed. And I'm wondering in that experience with you, as you surrender into it daily, and you breathe again, right? Because me too, like me too, and the expression of sensing shame coming in, sensing guilt, come in, syncing the shackles of what tomorrow will hold out of fear, fear and faith co-exist.


But I don't believe that shame exists when Jesus comes in the mail. Hey, that rhymed. That was good. Tell me, tell me your experience with shame. Tell me how have you overcome that? How do you combat it? Do you think that they can still exist in a component or do you think that's more just the enemy speaking?


So I think shame can come from a lot of deep hurts, and I think that we can have faith and still be in the healing process. Um, so. A big part of shame that I'm still working through because I still battle it is, um, I had a couple of teenage pregnancies and in fear and desperation, I had abortions. And even when I failed.


I feel distinct of shame and I feel the closing up of my chest and in my throat. And that's something that God look at. See, that's something God is still, uh, working out in me. And I have to remind myself that when he went to the cross for my shame and my sin, that included it all. And I try to remind myself that if he's forgiven me and he's holy and he is.


Right. Jus then who am I not to accept that forgiveness? Who am I to hold myself to a higher standard than what God's holding me to. And I think for me, it's one of the big ways that the enemy uses to try to keep me. From sharing my voice. It's one of the big ways he has kept me from female Christian relationships.


I find those relationships very difficult. Um, and a lot of it is the fear that comes from the shame. Like he talked about shame almost like this fear of being discovered. Um, I've been in circles of Christian women when the topic of abortion has come up and I've heard the way they've talked about women, who've had abortions then that knowing that that is a part of my story, um, It was really damaging to hear people that were exposed to, to love and to know that well, they knew that that was me.


Would they be sharing this table with me? Um, and so I think corporately, we have a long way to go in. You know, the church is supposed to be the place for the broken for the place for people need healing, a place where people go to be forgiven. Um, we have to make sure that we're not sitting in judgment and calling other people's sin bigger than our own.


Right. But, um, I just have to constantly lay it down. Um, I have to constantly, I am forgiven, but I have to learn to forgive myself. God has forgiven me. I have to do the work, not to forgive myself. And that's one of the things that is doing in therapy. Um, That's one of the reasons why it is so crucial for me to root my identity in Christ and not my past.


Um, and it's one of the reasons why I can't stop proclaiming the goodness of God because he saw all that I was, and he has walked in me and adopted me into his family. And. There's so much hope and healing in that. Whew, I got emotional on so many levels there and I think having experienced what they quote unquote calls, church hurt myself.


Um, it makes you just have another level of empathy. Um, For again, all humanity. It's not having more empathy for the Christian. It's not having more empathy for the Muslim who doesn't know about God. Like it's, it's not about that. It's just human that heart to heart, that, that people are just so desperate.


Um, so desiring that, and I keep imagining because of that prodigal son experience or just, they want to be embraced. And you said like the words of like, I'm going to be fully in it. Right. Like, I'm going to be fully seen, like the, it, the chest binds itself, um, because we're about to be known and yet God sees every single component of us every single day.


And if we're not allowing ourselves to be that open shell for other people, How then could the girl who's sitting next to you, Carla, at that very same table who experienced the same trauma, the same experience ever know that she too could speak out about it or that she too is not identified by that choice.


She was identified by the making of who she is before she was in her mother's room. And the choices that were already a part of the note. Of hit in the plan of your prodigal daughter experience here at knew all those things. And he still brought you to life with such purpose. Yeah. Can you hear me through all of that?


He chose me sometimes. I think that when we think about God going to the cross of Jesus, going to the cross, we see it in. In a sense of somewhat detachment of a multitude when he fully knew each and all of us before, even the foundations of the earth. And he. Individually for us. He went individually for me.


He went individually for you, and it's really personal. It's not just this mass thing. It was a real personal thing for him because he took all our sins past and future on him. Um, and I'm just so thankful for that. Likewise quick commercial break. I know I hate these things too, but it's so critical that you grow your business for God's sake.


And I mean, that pun intended with all the love in my heart to get you from a place of ideation to activation, stop dreaming, start doing stand ups, start saying yes to the call that God has on your life. We are going to be joining in Lexington, Kentucky with none other than the beautiful rise and grind community with Glenn.


Who will be, co-hosting this incredible conference. This is the second annual, and he has taken me under his wing to be able to share the stage to motivate and inspire. And I cannot wait to see you there November 5th through the seventh. If you want to come in for the VIP experience or two doesn't want to come along for VIP, that's all access passes to the speakers and the artists, and you will be able to dine with us in the private rooms with your own special bathrooms.


So of course, come one day, two day, three day. Available as well. And we can not wait as good. And I say to hug your neck, see you there. So you, you kind of alluded to in this last year, since the pandemic, what was the shift like pre pandemic or was it the pandemic? What like catapulted you into this, this consistent, like fervorous way of showing up.


Well, I knew that I was stuck. And, um, one of the things I started to do was a lot of personal development and I got a lot of great stuff up for some development, but there was something that was missing a lot of personal development. Yeah. And what I was consuming, put a lot of, um, focus on you. You can do anything.


You put your mind to your, your limitless, you have everything you need inside of you. You can do it all. And here I am. Bipolar, borderline personality, blood disorder, trauma late in. I can't do it all. I very much have limitations and it was so discouraging actually in a way, because I would try to put myself up and I would try to do it all.


And, um, for a little bit, I was in the MLM world and there's a lot. Brouhaha and a lot of personal development. And, um, it just was missing the mark because it was missing Jesus. And I said, okay, I need this personal development to be total person. I need it to include my spirit and my soul. I need it to include my body.


And yet to include my mind in my heart, this has to be a total. And so where am I going to start from this certain, the word. I'm going to start with Jesus. And I realized that it is okay to admit or limitations. I think sometimes in, even in entrepreneurial circles, circles, I've met and right now it's very hard for people to come up and be like, yeah, I have limitations.


No one people think that that's a sign of weakness or you're in the wrong mindset. No, I'm very aware of my limitations. But where I am limited, God is limitless where I am weak. He is strong and it has taken so much pressure off. My ministry is taken so much pressure. The only thing he's calling me to do is obey.


He isn't calling me to six tests and that's a hard pill to swallow. The success is his to give or not. He's calling me to obedient and recognizing I would rather put my faith in my hope in an all powerful I'm unlimited. I'm fallible God than to put it in myself who is limited. Um, and so that a hot moment, and during this personal development, I got really like down on myself because I just wasn't able to measure up to what.


Seeing in this MLM and personal development world, and I realize I'm using the wrong measuring stick. I'm not supposed to measure up to that. I was supposed to measure up to who God's created me to be. I'm supposed to measure up to looking more like Jesus and being his hands and feet extended. And it just so happened that the pandemic came and I decided to move away from the MLM business.


And my son was all of a sudden home. Um, I'm Canadian. I think our schools were locked down much longer than yours. You're in the states, right? Yes. Yes. I feel


this faith of lockdown right now. And so I had to decide to. Refocus and to heal. And so I started on this incredible therapy journey and I started on this Bible study journey and all of a sudden in the midst of the pandemic, I'm launching a business in the ministry that I never saw coming. And, um, it's just, it's great to see.


God work. It's great to be working with women. Um, I just launched, I have enrollment open right now, a confidence course where it's actually not looking at the world view with confidence and teaching women, how to grow in God, confidence, how to re practically renew your mind so that you could live more enjoy so that you can have boldness and walking in your purpose because you're not so stacking your negative thought life.


And. Uh, it's just been exciting to see, and I have no idea what God has in store, but I'm here for it. I'm here for it because holy and it's so incredible. And I think the, the godparents fees, right, the God confidence is, is something we all need every single day. And because we are measuring, I love that you said that you were measuring by the wrong stick.


Like we're all often because right. In front of our focus, that's where our focus will be. And that is where we are measuring less than I don't. I personally, even in the entrepreneurial realm, don't know one person that says, oh, I'm at the top of the ladder. Like I've made it. I literally have never met somebody who says that.


And, and the people who are the most high achieving that you would perceive. Definitely. They're going to say that they're actually ones who, who think that they're the low. Hmm, but those are the people that are really, really attuned to their faith because they know that there is no Nobel peace prize that makes them win.


All right. Or there is no New York time bestseller that makes them achieve the most because every single day, guess what they wake up, they bring. They put their feet on the ground. Hopefully they go brush their teeth. They might have coffee. They do the exact same thing as you and I, and they still have to buy a means of their own will.


And really ultimately the God that ends within them, whether they call it that or not is what drives them into the next thing. Problem is often. If the, if their Christianity is out of alignment with the wholeness of who they are, they they're living that, that Sunday faith, right. There's going to checking the box, they're living void.


And that cycle that we talked about, which ultimately is the rat wheel becomes just so routine. That there's nobody there to jolt them. And so what I am so grateful to have witnessed in the last year is a jolting, a jolting of, of not just the church, the box church, but the church, the human heart. Right.


And that's what happened to you. I I've literally witnessed it on so many people and it's mesmerizing. And the reason it's mesmerizing is because it's God and you can't. Put a formulation to what you're doing. You can't make a blueprint out of it. Like they're, they're short tactics and there are sure reminders, but everybody's path to God's success to God for guidance is totally different.


Yeah, it does. But, and here's the thing. Sometimes people think. Is easy leaf is hard work. You have to choose every day. So I'm doing a workout program right now. If I only do that workout program once a week, am I going to see results? No. If I drink my water only one day a week, am I going to see results?


Am I going to get physically fit? No. And so have us discount that for a faith life, you have to discipline yourself. It's a discipline to get into the word every day. You have to discipline yourself to pray, not just when your car breaks down at the side of the road, but in surrender and in offering up your day to God, we have to immerse ourselves in worship.


You know, just like for me, we have to practice gratitude. That is not just a personal development thing. That's a Bible thing. It says give thanks all at all times in all circumstances, why? Because that's the will of God in our life. If we're practicing gratitude every day, we are aligning to God's will every day.


And who knows that walking in God's will is where you want to be. And I love that you said that the gratitude is not just a personal development thing. If you really look into personal development and what is being taught. Yeah. Where it's all biblically principled. It literally like they think that they created something right.


And there's this new aha. One of the guys, I was just listening to out front and he was telling a story about his wife who practices grounding. And she puts her feet on the ground and she goes outside for 20 minutes and she feels more centered and all of these things. And instead of telling his children that they're grounded, when he says, Hey, you're grounded.


That means they literally have to go outside and put their feet on the ground. And I'm like, okay, first off, I love that. Cause we practiced barefoot, barefoot parenting. It's an actual book. You can check it out. It's really amazing. Um, but it's this knowing that it has nothing to do with what people say that it has to do with there is scientific backing because God wants us to be.


To the earth, closer to him of alignment on cement in plastic and rubber, like around the small and all the things I just went hiking this past weekend, I jumped into the ocean at the waterfall or the base of a glacier. I felt so alive. Right? Like we got to get to the place where this personal development is not what the books say that it is.


And it's what the word. The book, the one and only book and God, the father calls us to understand it as because then again, it's not a checkbox. It's not a, I did my gratitude practice. I did my water intake for the day water. Think of it, literally. It's next to me all the time. Like my nieces are always like, why you always carry that thing?


It's because it is living water reminder of how. Close. I need to be to him at every given moment. It is the, as opposed as the breath. So I literally use it as a tangible experience. And so I'm curious, like what other personal development quote, unquote hacks have you like D valued and really seeing that it's, it's literally premises.


Well, I think a lot of the mindset stuff we hear about is very much Romans. I think it's 12 to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. You know, that mindset work, that's renewing your mind. And we talk about that in my confidence course, and we actually take a real neuroscience approach to it. And I just love seeing how science fully backs the Bible.


We create neural pathways in our mind, based on our thoughts. If we keep thinking the same thought over and over again, we are setting ourselves up in the default setting to naturally go to that thought and our brain will push away. Evidence contrary to that full thought self fulfilling prophecy. So we have to train ourselves.


We have to create literal new neural pathways. And the beautiful thing is our minds are plastic. We can do it. We just have to put into the work. We just have to start saying the affirmations and the truth, and we have to put it into practice. Um, we have to fuel our body well, and I know. You know, there's and I'm not talking about diet culture.


I'm not talking about diets, but when the body is sick, the spirit is sick. The mind is sick. What are we putting in our mouth? Is it fueling us to be who God created us to be? I'm not talking about a number on the scale or the size of your pants. I'm talking about. What choices are you putting in and why are you going there?


Have you replaced. The fridge or Netflix or that bottle of wine as your comfort, rather than going to the comforter. And that is something I've really had to, to work through and also watching what we watch. Do you remember that little, that song where kids be careful, little eyes, what you see? I went through a period where my.


Chilling out and unplugging with watching all the reality TVs. And there's not, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with reality TV, but for me, God would thing to me.


What is this serving you? It was creating in me discontent comparison. It was robbing myself of time that I could have been. Exercising or I could have been out for walks or a kids and playing games with my family. It was a way for me to numb out of what I was feeling rather than working through what I was feeling to bring purpose and life to it.


And so God said, Cut that out now, it's been like three years since I've seen reality TV and my life is so much better for it. So what are we consuming? What are you consuming on social media? I regularly do an audit. How did I feel this week on social media? If I didn't feel good, what accounts are showing up in my feed?


Who do I need to unfollow? Right. Like, it's not because they're not good people, but something about what they're putting out is not serving. Yeah. I think the cost of fuel is like massive. Right? And, and people think that they're, um, fuel is coming from things like social media or thing. I love that flavor, by the way, she just had it cherry bubbly.


It's so good. It tastes like cherry soda. But if that turns out it's good for you, it's water. Um, but it's, it's this knowing that they're feeling themselves and they're not realizing. Actually the pool, like it's a detraction from not an added to. And so I love that you are literally giving practical advice here.


If you guys didn't take note of that, if you are scrolling and something makes you feel anything other than poured into meaning it's scripture, it's positive affirmations. It is of good nature. A girl dancing with nothing on, or like it's, there's so much negativity that's happening. My husband has a practice that immediately, if one twinge of a post, it could be somebody that he's in close community with.


If one twinge of a post, whether it's the words or the image doesn't serve him, he blocked it. Yeah, he, he just, he's so strong about it. He's like, why would I do that to myself? I too gave up reality TV. Um, I literally, I literally never really watched TV at all while I was on a plane last night, I was like, this is the longest I've seen TV and so long.


So, um, but it's the knowing that there are so many other options and it sounds like we went on a very similar purging. Um, not just in the mind, but also in the body. And then also in the physical flesh of, in our eyes, our ears, our mouth, all of those. Have way more power than people give them credit for.


And that understanding that there are spiritual obesity, there is mental obesity, there's physical obesity. You can be out of alignment in so many different ways and no one is better or worse. Just like no sin is better or worse. No label is better or worse. No success pattern is better or worse. We are all in perfectly gracefully broken.


Right. But it's the knowing that the way we perceive it. To be more like Jesus is our choice. And it's that everyday, like you said, it's the everyday practice thereafter. You have called people who are listening by the way into water challenges, affirmation, challenges, you guys so fun. We're so grateful to have active listeners on right now.


I am so curious as we're drawing into a close here. Carla, what are some other pressing areas that you would love to share with. Oh, well, I would just love to invite them to do an affirmation challenge. I would love to invite them to get into the word. Um, if they want to follow me on Instagram and DM me, I have free resources to send them.


I have a wonderful Bible study on rehab that really looks at her life and what we could draw on our identity from her. Um, I just really want to encourage women that their past does not. Claim on them. Jesus has claimed you by his blood. You are his, and I just want women to be so encouraged and empowered and understand Jesus will meet you where you're at, but he's asking you to partner with him.


He's not going to Drake. You. You have to actually take that step forward. You have to actually work in partnership with the holy spirit to bring transformation about in your life because he's a God of relationship. He's not a God of dictatorship. Um, and he's inviting you into that relationship with him.


And so I just want to encourage women to grab hold of that, to find me on Instagram, to reach it, become part of my community. And hopefully not be an account that you have to block because you'll be, I love that. Carla, you are a gift girlfriend. Such a treasure to spend time with you today? Um, I feel blessed by the time I know the listeners who are on here now, and even after we're going to just have a sense of peace that they didn't come to this conversation with and now they get to leave with.


And so I am honored to know you, um, to stand next to you, God gently, and to pursue the things that God has for our lives in tandem. And I think that is the ultimate representation of the church, right? It's not in competition. Yeah. Family, not just community. It's actually in, in true family. Um, and being able to support one another.


And so I'm here. If you need anything, and you've got listeners who want to know more from you, so you guys gotta go follow her and learn, and there you go are just like charges. I had to learn that at the beginning. Carla arches, you guys, we are grateful to have you Carla, and we can't wait to hear from you again.


Thank you for being here so much. It was a pleasure. Bye. Yeah.


Hey, y'all it's me again. I hope in today's episode, you sent an ignite to an Ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let solidify the flame. I'd love for you to take a step right now and declaring your takeaway by snapping a pick of the episode.


You tuned in to share your sparked moment and tag me at bitten faith underscore podcast, or. At Tamra dot and dress on instant. I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the fit and podcast listeners. We're totally in this together. Community over competition is the motto, right?


I'd also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to leave a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app, I'd love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project, a big shout out. You know, I'm a writer, so I love words and I can't wait. Read what you have to say.


I'm ready to fuel the blame with you together. And until next time blessings over your joy, health, wealth, and wholeness tune in next time.









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