• Tamra Andress

Christians, Rise Up with Skylar Lewis from Rise Up Kings

I started reading The 2-Day CEO in the morning hours, where you guys know I have the Bible open and my business book open because it's both. People who don't know Jesus have wisdom. It's just not connected to the ultimate knowledge of Christ. So I will read a page, I'll read a chapter, and then I'll go to the Word and I will put it against the word to see Truth, the truth, truth with a capital T. And I was doing that with this book, and I recognized even in the very first introduction, that this is Godly.

I knew him from Rise Up Kings, which is an incredible ministry, and we had this impactful conversation and I was so shocked. We get into the depths of what it means to be a 2-Day CEO and how we can do that as kings and queens of the God most high, and how we can actively rise up more through our ministries, through our businesses.

About Skylar:

Skylar Lewis is the founder of Rise Up Kings, a Faith-based business boot camp that helps married men become better husbands, fathers, and business owners. He is also a best-selling author of The 2-Day CEO and speaks around the country on creating a life of liberty. He lives by the 4 Pillars, Faith, Family, Fitness, and Finances.

Where to Find Skylar:

Where to Find Tamra:

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Show Notes: Christians, Rise Up

Welcome to the Fit and Faith podcast. FIT is an acronym representing founders, innovators, and trailblazers who are looking to live a life wholly, fully, authentically, and truly fit a space for us to connect on the raw real stories of mind, body, and soul alignment of entrepreneurs. And Kingdom leaders. I'm their host, Tamara Andres, and this podcast isn't like the cookie cutter interview experience.

I've been coined the entrepreneurial rabbi, and so we do go there unscripted. No matter how far, wide, deep, or high the there is. My desire is to see people rise from the inside out into their greatest calling by sharing their truest stories. And tips as a purpose activator and brand builder, I believe our successes and failures are derived from who and who's.

We are not what we do, but strategy and vision are equally as important to the mission. So let's cut to the chase together and get fit in faith.

Right. All right. So excited to be here, you guys. It's been a while since we've had a podcast live, even though they drop all the time. So those listening are like, No, it's not. You do this multiple times a week. But hey, we're here. We're hanging out. And I am so excited to bring a new voice, uh, somebody who I've actually been following incognito.

Not that he was incognito, I just didn't realize I was following him. . I'll get into it a little bit here in just a couple. But Skylar, I'm so grateful to have you here. You are surely, uh, a leader in so many different ways, and I'm excited to unpack that for the people here. Yeah, I'm excited to, to be on the show.

Very excited actually. , Well, you're literally the, the ideal, the ideal avatar of an influencer that I wanna chat with, right? It's the knowing that you are first and foremost influenced by God and as a man, uh, of, of the world. It can be hard, especially with our entrepreneurial insight and wisdom and, and you're doing this like boots on the ground.

So I wanna know, cuz people might be aware of what Rise Up Kings is when I first came to the awareness of it. This is brilliant. Like girls are really good at gathering, we're really good at having female conferences and retreats and all of this, but it's not something that guys generally take the time out to do.

And so I wanna know like what came first, the chicken or the egg, the book, the, all of the things and how have you emerged into this specific industry? Cuz it's something I'm so passionate about. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I, uh, so I've, I've been a big fan of personal development and personal growth and I think a lot of people are, uh, right now.

And so I, I, uh, I started. I don't know, maybe almost 10 years ago. And went to my first personal development seminar, like my three day seminar and fell in love and, and it was a secular seminar. And I, I started to dive in, went to all their advanced courses and found other ones, and eventually joined with Tony Robbins and went through all of his, and it was a part of his platinum, uh, partnership and spent time with him and, uh, and just went on a journey of personal growth because I, I was missing something in my life.

I had Christ. And I just felt like I still had untapped potential. And so I wanted to continue to, to develop that. And so I, um, as I was studying my word and diving deep with Christ, I, I, I was working on myself and we eventually got to the place where I was running an entire personal development, uh, whole region of a seminar company when I was probably.

I dunno, what was I, 26, 27? Somewhere in that range. Yeah. And, and uh, and I mean, and it was going very well. Transformational work was happening, which is what I'm all about, is transformation, not just little, uh, drips of knowledge. Yeah. But then there was a point where I said, You know what, like, I'm kind of nervous because this, this specific personal development course was all about personal.

And you can do everything on your own, right? You don't, you don't, you don't need anything but yourself. And I'm like, This is, this is off. And I could, I was, I could swallow it. I could work with it. Uh, To a point, and then I, I just felt convicted. I said, if one person walked away from God because they thought they could do it on their own without God, I would, I, I mean, I'd be destroyed if somebody walked away.

And so we left it. I mean, literally that next week, me and my wife, we said, Okay, we're not gonna do this anymore until it's faith based. Only the next time we're gonna do anything personal development wise is if God is at the core and at the center. And then that's when we, uh, finally it was my dream for years, uh, to, to, cuz God's at the core of everything we have to, we could pretend like he's not, uh, he is he my bracelet, my wristband says Powered by God.

Yeah. Literally powered by God. Like I visualize it as an extension core from heaven and like plugged in. And at any moment he can, he can unplug me and I'm done. And so to think I've done anything on my own, just ridiculous. Yeah. Like he's literally powering me. The opportunities come from him. And, and so yeah, we launched it and it's been radically successful despite me.

Yeah. Despite, despite me, uh, and so, yeah, and I didn't go into it, but that's kind of how I ended up launching it. Now God's a key piece and now we're helping people, helping men specifically level up. Faith, family, fitness and finances, which is our four pillars, which is so cool cuz we were talking offline about a connected friend, Glenn Lundy, who has talked about those, those Fs inclusive of fun.

And I do something called, um, the, the joy zone and it's all around the hs. So it's like head, heart, home, health and handbag, right? Cause there is the element and it's okay men, you're a man, man, bags are coming back. They're popular these days, right? Um, but I think about the fact. You have such a sector within the business lens and that's really where men are like driven since, since birth really into like being the provider and the protector.

Meanwhile, we have a a god of provision and a God who protects us every single day. But because of the ego element and because of like the masculinity connection, we do see in society how often it is that like you are the strong one. You are the one who's the head of house. How do you help navigate that for men and, and the knowing that they might be head of household, but they're not the head.

Yeah. Yeah. It's uh, there's a lot there. There's a lot there. So we do, we do, we do. That's a whole show. That's that's a, that's a whole show. Exactly. So we do it. I mean, so, so part, part, part of what we do and, and, and a big part of what we do is a lot, a lot of men, uh, and which is why your community is so powerful, but a, a lot of men, they don't know where, if they're entrepreneurs, like they're being led by culture in society.

So they don't, they're not being led. What does it mean to be a kingdom entrepreneur? What does it mean to have God in the front? They don't know. And, and if they do, if they are, if they do believe in that, they don't know where to go to find other associations like, And so we call it being a four pillar man.

Like where do you go to find men that are interested in cause, Cause for many years I was in entrepreneur groups, but man, they wanted to go to strip clubs. They wanted to go party hard. I'm like, I gotta. I got a little one year old at home with, and my wife. Yeah. Like, I could care less about going partying after the meeting.

Yeah. Like, so I want to go like, so I was searching. Right. I was literally searching for a community where people actually cared about their family and their faith and their fitness and their health, and then also their businesses. Yeah. And so I couldn't find it. And so I, I built, I built it or I built a whole community of men that are like striving to do that.

And we, we, uh, it's interest. Uh, uh, so we, so regarding like our role as man, like, I believe, I believe we are called to, to be leaders. And it's a, it's a tricky thing in today's society, just wondering where, where's the line for the man and the women, right? So we'll kind of dive in this as fun. We'll get, well, let's go get real.

So yeah, I like it. Where, where, where is that? And so what we do, Like a lot, a lot of, I would say more secular women do not like what we do cuz we're helping men rise up and become stronger leaders. And they're afraid, especially if a woman's ever been hurt by another man, the last thing you want is a man that will rise up and be stronger.

Right. And so if you've been hurt and, and one out of three women at least, have had some trauma from a man. Yeah. Uh, That's scary. And so my, my philosophy around this is, hey, if we can get a man to rise up, the, the thing is to get a man to rise up is not by pushing a woman down. That's good. . And so that's what happens a lot of times insecure men, the way they get to the next level is they try to control their wife.

Mm-hmm. , they try to control her and try to get her to, to be in her bubble. So he can be my, he can be the leader. Hey, wow. No, no, no. It's like the goal is you actually get your wife to the next level and that will get you to the next level. Yeah. So there's this beautiful thing in relationships where if the man's rising, the, the way he rises through bringing his wife up and other women up around.

But right now it's, there's a lot of men that are, are quote unquote weak and they don't know how to lead, and so they think they have to push down. And the same thing on, on, on, on women's side, right? Right. They believe they have to push men down to get . Right. And so it's this really interesting thing that's happening in society.

And so yeah, now our mission is just to, yeah, to, to raise men up. And then alongside that is, I mean, how do we get. To reach their potential. Right, and which is what you're working on too. Yeah. Which is a passion of ours also. Yeah. Which my wife does a lot of that with Rise of Queens. But what you're doing is incredible with that is men and women.

Yeah. But I, I think you have a huge fallen of women also. Yeah, for sure. We stay more women than men. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. We're like 70 30. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's, it's powerful. So you're, you're really helping them level up. And so yeah, that's kind of what we do well, and I think that it goes back, I think, uh, and this is kind of the premise of everything that you do, is it goes back to love, right?

It goes back to not only learning to receive love from a heavenly father who loves us so much, but women, if they've been hurt by men, have a hard time seeing. God as a father, if they didn't have that role fulfilled on Earth or God as their lover, if they didn't have that role fulfilled on earth. And it's the same thing.

And so it's not only the loving of, uh, a vertical love, it's uh, an internal love of. Self connected also to the external love of relational partners or marriage or covenant love and what does that actually mean? And so I know for me and my story, like in order for me to even receive love or, or have that passion to see my husband really lifted to head of household or protector or provider, or even.

Symmetry a connectivity in that, because I believe I, I play those roles in some regard as well. Mm-hmm. , um, I had to really, we say victory is submission in our household all the time, and it's this knowing that like, I don't have to win to win. And, and, and if we can get to this place where like, I'm good.

I'm gonna bow away from this one because it's not worth the argument because I love you greater than we are able to see eye to eye and have so much more grace and empathy for one another because neither of our perspectives is a hundred percent right. His perspective, his being God is the right one. So it's a seeking after and when we seek after God as the pinnacle rather than men or a woman, but God the father, who is a representative of all, we don't have to, we don't have to step on anyone.

We just get to be at His. How do you, how do you develop, So what I, what I've seen a lot with men and women Yeah. Um, is, uh, is I would say a lack of spiritual maturity. So how have you developed, cuz you're, you're, you're, you're on fire for God, right? What is your, I'm curious what your routine looks like and what you do.

Maybe, maybe stuff that you haven't shared. I'm sure you've shared a lot of it, but what, what. How have you grown so close with Christ to have that perspective, right? Yeah. Which I believe is, is right. Well, it's definitely been a journey, right? And, and I just came to know the Lord. I had a radical encounter with the Lord and it was around marital, um, suppression, honestly around lack of identity.

So these things I'm speaking to as such, conviction, it's only been seven years of this revelation, but it is a daily act of, of a vd obedience, a daily act of. Ego, more Christ, right? And, and not to say that my ego isn't important, cuz that I think for men is probably a big conversation, right? Like there has to be an element of pride, but not pride connected to lack of humility, but pride connected to confidence.

And confidence is a conversation we also carry in our marriage. And so the more integral I became based on my righteousness based on sanctification, these are big words and I'm saying it not to make anyone feel like, what is she talking about? But it was really. This act of submission and repentance where I was changing everything that I previously knew and previously as a woman ESP especially, had ever been taught about where did my power actually rest?

Who did my power actually rest in, And when I released that, it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with Christ. , I, I was able to stand with brightness that I never had before and a love for myself that I never had before. I literally lived masks for almost 30 years cuz I was just playing the, the womanly role of what I was expected to be, and yet I was in direct conflict with my creation.

Mm. That's great. I love it. I love it. I love your, Yeah, I know a little bit about your story, but it's, uh, it's a powerful story. So I'm glad that, I'm glad that, uh, he's put you on a, uh, pedestal. Right. You have a platform to be able to share that story. Uh, well, in Skylar, one of the things that's interesting, even as you asked that I was thinking about like daily practice, right?

Like what's the daily practice of being able to do that? And I had shared with you before, but. Got your book in the mail and I didn't know how I got your book in the mail. I honestly thought someone sent it to me cuz people send me books all the time and I love to read. So it's been following me on, um, all of my coffee tables that I have so many books, and I finally broke it open a few weeks ago having no idea that this Skylar Lewis that I had a podcast with was this Skylar Lewis that I was reading this book by because I just had.

Kings and you connected and it was so wild because if you look at the book and if you guys haven't had it, you've gotta get it. I mean, I'm only a couple chapters in and it's been amazing. But it's systemized your business, empower your team, and leave a legacy. The two day ceo, which reminded me of the four hour work week.

And so I had just recently read the four hour work week, and I wanted to like dive deeper into this idea, having no idea that it was faith-based. And after I read the introduction, I don't know if this person knows, but like literally this is just like Jesus, the way that this person is interacting. I was so on fire that I ended up talking all about it on Peloton and preach the whole day.

I was like, Rev, like I've gotta get in touch with this Skylar Lewis guy, . And then I realized, oh, he's a Christian. And so I'm just excited because the workplace needs this and this, this doesn't scream faith to me. So talk to me about like, how are you, what was. What was your mentality in not putting like Christian or anything like that on the.

Yeah, so there's a so, so Rise Up Kings, Right. Very heavily faced faith-based, very heavily. Yeah. Right. We're, we're based, we're, we're one of the few, like biblically based personal development. We do like deep emotional work and go back in the childhood and do some really powerful, powerful, powerful stuff.

Uh, and I know there's, there's a, I have, I have a lot of influence with non-Christians, and so I wanted to use this book as a way to kind of o open that, open that. Yeah. And so I, uh, yeah, I decided it's not, it's not a specifically faith based book. How were the principles in there? I talk about God, I quote scripture.

Are tied, tied into God. So I wanted to make this more of an open, uh, uh, yeah, top of funnel. You could call, I don't know if your, your, your crowd knows the funnel. They got it at top of funnel, kind of an opportunity where people that were maybe on the edge in their faith may. May start to grasp onto some of these concepts.

Very cool. And potentially yeah. Have, have, Yeah. Come to know the Lord relationship with Christ. Exactly. Like if that could happen through that book. Yes. Um, that would be, and I shared a ton of Right. Business and, and cool stuff in there. But, uh, my intent is I wanted to just drop enough nuggets. Where it could potentially lead somebody or at least plant some seeds.

Well, I think as I was reading through it, I'm thinking of the imitation of a leader that was being exampled, and that's really where I, I had that revelation of, whoa, like, I don't know if this guy knows, but like this is exactly the things that Christ would. Day or how Christ would lead, um, if he was in the workplace today.

And you, you did a really great job of helping people understand the genre of leader that we can and should be following, and how we can actually reciprocate and show up, um, in that same imitation thereafter. Because I think anywhere we're going, we are, especially as an American, especially as a white male American, and I'm speaking to you, is like you.

Kingship that's kind of been gifted to you just based on lineage, based on the fact that you're American, based on the fact that you're, you know, existing in the top 1% like wealth of the world. If you were to go anywhere else, in any other nation, there's gonna be this element of kingship. And yet if we don't follow Christ who, who's the king, who we, we are our own king, which is kind of what you were talking about.

It's very interesting. Yes. And I think it's so important for us to re. So we're under the king of kings. Right? Wow. And so that's, that's my intent is how do we, how do we start act, How do we start acting that way? How would a king take care of his people? Yeah. A good king, right? A king under the king of kings.

He would take care of them much differently than a lot of other. Quote unquote, Christian leaders do. Yeah. Uh, they don't know how to have the hard conversations or how to love people. Like what does love, what does loving an employee in your organization look like? Yeah. Can you be direct with them and still love them?

Can you have a hard conversation with them? Actually? Could a hard conversation be loving them? Mm-hmm. , right? And so, so yeah. What does that look like to be that leader? And that's, that's what I talk about a lot in that book is, Hey, what kind of leader does it, does it, does it take to, to build an organization?

But then how do you eventually, how do you be the type of leader where your. Would feel comfortable with you leaving the business? So I just moved to Texas about a year ago from California. Okay. Uh, where, where are you out, up again? Virginia Beach. Virginia Beach. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So we were ready to leave California.

We left and the team has been running the business, uh, on their own, completely without me present. I'm on a call once a week. With my general manager and executive team, and again, I never went to business school, never, never did any of that stuff. Yeah. I I went to community college and took like three real estate classes.

Yeah. Yeah. That was my extent. Uh, but, but hey, how do you, like, how do you treat your team in a way that would that and Yeah. Yeah. That's, it's, it's, it's everything, right? People and processes. You get those two things, right? You focus on your people, you love on them. You have the hard conversations. And then you set up the systems and the processes.

Right, Right. Like everything flows and, and, and comes together. Yeah. Well, and I think about the element of trust that's connected to that, which is no different than going back to that idea of identity as a male or a female, and recognizing like you can't really. Love yourself if you can't trust yourself and how much trust is being gifted to the team when you being like, All right, the, the big, the daddy bird's leaving the nest.

Right? Like, I'm out. You guys got this. It's a, it's an emotive empowerment. And when we think about what scripture tells us to do, when it even talks about when he's like the great commission of Go and make disciples of nations. He's fully, like literally, God is fully entrusting us as the kings within the earth to go and do that.

And we have to trust ourself and our actions and our integrity and the way that we show up every single day. So how through Rise Up Kings and then also even through this element of entrepreneurship. , what are some other things that you guys really focus on or that you feel has been prioritized in order for you to be able to step out?

Um, because that's something I wanna do personally. Like, I would love to get to that place where things work more in, I get to empower others to stand in their mission and vision too. Yeah, it's cool. It's a journey. So we have, we have about, we'll probably have about, we had about 35 events this year and they, those were able to run on their, on their own.

So I had an event manager, some staff, and like, I pulled myself out of the events almost completely to the point where I said, Hey, I actually love this so much. I wanna, I wanna get back. Can I, can I come back in team? Cause I, we have a head coaches and our drill instructors. Yeah. And our, and our people.

And so, but to get there was hard. I, uh, I remember it was, We had just started our business. One of our first employees was this lady Nicky, and she, uh, she seemed, she seemed awesome and so we hired her, we started developing her, and my goal was always to have a business that would run itself. Mm-hmm. , like that's for some reason I just always had, I thought it'd be awesome to have a business.

I could run itself. And so I started developing her. We put systems in place and within about a year and a half, She was really helping to run a lot of the business. We had other team members in place. She was the op, operate, uh, office manager. And so we said, Okay, cool. We can leave. So we went on a vacation and as we were on this vacation, we were on a cruise.

We were in the state room. Me and Jessica, my wife, who's always kind of helped and, and, and supported and led a lot of the things that we did, uh, I felt like convicted. I'm like, Hey, so do I asked her the question, Do you trust Nicki? Uh, And she's like, Ah. And I said, Let me tell you why I'm saying that. I trust her, but not like completely.

There's something about her. I just don't trust. And she's like, you know, I feel the same way. I don't know what it is. I just don't, I just don't, You know those people that you just do just something, you just don't trust 'em fully? Yeah. Like there's just a small piece. And so I said, I don't wanna have anybody in my organization that I don't completely trust.

Mm-hmm. , like I've, I've, I've done that before. We had a previous company. Mm-hmm. . And I don't wanna be coming into the office wondering if something's happened. I wanna, I wanna completely trust my team members, or I wanna move on from them if they're not right. Trustworthy or if I can't completely trust them.

And, I said, Okay, let's move on from her. So we went back, we let her go, uh, because I, we just knew there was something we just mm-hmm. , there was something off. And then my office, uh, assistant who we then promoted to office manager Stephanie, she is. Uh, and by the way, I've always had women, uh, run my, run the organization.

So, so Stephanie actually became the general man. She, she's the VP of operations of our whole company. Uh, now she's amazing. Um, and. Yeah, I feel like women can do stuff so much better than men. Many times. , well, managerial probably. Yeah. Well, I lot, a lot. She's a great leader. Very good leader. That's awesome.

But anyway, so she walked in about two weeks after we promoted her into that role and she said, Skyler, she's like, Something's majorly wrong. I've been calling all the customers and, Yeah, and their, their, their money's not there. Like they, they said they've already paid. And so as I, as we dug in, we found out she had created her own PayPal account called Superior Cleaning.

And was calling all the customers saying, Oh, you already paid. Oh, no. So saying, you know, our, our credit card system's down, uh, you can just pay via PayPal. It's the same name, just, you know, through PayPal. So she had been collect for like a year. She was collecting payments and we had taken our eye off the ball.

And so like, I felt devastated and I, I went into a full victim mode. Right. Like, how could somebody do this to me? Right. Yeah. I don't know if anybody's been stolen from, or had anything like that happen. It's kind of, it's pretty intense. Yeah. And there was so many lessons that I learned from that. One of 'em was, right.

It w I had full responsibility of that. I've, I've learned to take, and one of the, one of the key things we teach at RiseUP Kings is you have ultimate responsibility of everything that happens in your life. Mm. Everything that happens not, not fault, right? You're not at fault for everything that happens, but Right.

You have that respons level of responsibility. There was something, and, and again, it's really hard sometimes very, very hard to find out, Hey, where did I have responsibility in this? Uh, from being stolen from like, Hey, how did I have any responsibility? Right? But I do, and I, and I do have responsibility and Right.

I hired. Yeah, I didn't do the proper background check, right? I took my eye off the ball. All I just started as I was, as I was open to the idea that I had responsibility, it really, it freed me. Cause the worst feelings. We do this at our event, all of the worst possible emotions you could ever feel come from when you're a victim, right?

You're powerless, you weak. I mean, the worst feelings and the way to move from victim to responsible is when you. Yeah, is when you find, Hey, was there any possible little thing I could have done to play a part in this? And then you have the freeing emotions, like being more empowered, being confident, knowing you're in control of your destiny, or at least in control of what God's given you.

Control of. Like you have somebody you can, you can change things now, but when you're a victim, when you're stuck in victimhood, there's no, you don't, you can't learn anything. Not something did some, someone did something to you so you don't have anything to learn obviously cuz it was done to you. Right, Right.

And so that tho that was huge and so on that idea of trust, I think it's critical. You have to trust your team. You have to learn to trust the people around you. Uh, but you can, but if you don't fully trust 'em, don't just ignore it. Yeah. Right. Address. Address it. Right. Yeah. I keep thinking of like the word discernment, which was something I've really, um Right.

Practiced more this year and also had people within my circle that I could go to to ask their own. Preference or reference or, or thought pattern or prayer pattern, right? Towards, uh, different situations that were unfolding, whether it was relationally within my business or with IT coaches or anything like that.

And it, uh, has been an interesting practice because I think that there's like, There's like in the back of your mind there's worry, but then there's that gut emotion of something feels wrong. And most of the times I didn't really have, uh, any proof of, of where that discernment was coming from. Or like, maybe even your, your spouse, your wife, and you were like, There's just something there, but you didn't really know what that actually was until you figured out what it actually was.

Um, so I think teaching discernment and, and really leaning into it has been something that's been really important and, and something for men especially, um, that I think would be a really good stewardship of relationship. I think, uh, one of the, uh, I forgot what Versa was, but it was in Proverbs my uncle told me if, when I was, I think like 13, he said, If you could read one book over and over, I'd recommend reading Proverbs.

And so I studied Proverbs over and over as a, as a 13 year old, and I prayed every day for knowledge, wisdom, and discernment. Every single day for years. Yeah. Lord, give me knowledge, wisdom, and discernment. And I believe that, uh, paid off. Right. Um, yeah. And I think, I think part of the, part of the deal is, is, is practicing to lean into the discernment, like you mentioned, Right.

Hey, yeah. If you have that feeling, start to trust yourself. And know that God's given you that discernment or Right. Psychologically there's been things that you've seen in other people, kind of, Are you familiar with how that, how that works? Like Oh yeah. Like the trauma trigger element of Yeah, for sure.

Subconsciously, your mind is storing all the data, and so anytime you see someone shady and they hurt you, your mind logged it and it logs it over and over to the point where now you just look at. They make the same facial expression or mannerism, right. And it automatically says, Hey, something's wrong with this person.

So you gotta learn to trust also your database and your intuition. Yeah, that's good. And what God's giving you, um, when learning to work with people. Yeah, I agree. And I think when beyond, like the discernment element. And, and something that I'd love to hear from you is as you've like, become more free in that space and been operating, cuz that's a lot of events, that's a lot of people underneath you.

How as a leader are you really like learning about your potential, uh, new employees and also maintaining that environment of trust, um, with, with the people that you're there, if you're not actually physically present with them all. That's much harder. So my company in Superior, uh, Superior Restoration is in California.

We have about 46 employees now. Um, and that just runs on its own, which is really cool. And, uh, it does create some big gaps for me, right in, in feeling close and connected with my team. Uh, so some things I do is I, I created a, a little while ago, I created a spreadsheet with every single employee's name.

Yeah. And then I, I, I checked off the box on whether or not I had connected with them that. So I went through and I was actually like, I'm a big systems guy, probably because I forget a lot of things. Yeah. And I learned that's the only way I could keep track of everything. Right. Uh, so I, so I had to build systems for everything.

I, so I, I thought, hey, how do I connect? How do I make sure I connect with every employee? So whether it's a phone call or a really cool text message. Yeah. Uh, I wanted to systemize that process. So that's something that I do. And honestly, I'm failing in that, uh mm-hmm. with superior restoration. I do, I do an amazing job with my current team.

Yeah. With about 14 staff members now. And I'm doing great with them. Uh, and I am totally, I was, I was journaling on this, I do a lot of journaling. Yeah. And I was journaling on this the other day. I'm like, Man, I'm, I'm really not showing up as the leader that I. that I feel like God's called me was superior.

They're like kind of the stepchild. Yeah. And so I got, I got it to where it runs itself, but now I, I'm just so focused on like 99% of my time's on Rise Up King's. My passion, that's my purpose. It's what I was designed to do is, is, is this. Sure. And so, um, Thank you for bringing that back up, . Well, thank you and you're welcome and thanks to all of the people that are a part of that team because I obviously see the dynamic and you're teaching it every single day, and I love your vulnerability towards that because we're, even the things that we teach sometimes are the exact.

Place that we need to have more emphasis on. I find myself the questions that people come to me asking, and then I go to teacher educate around it. I'm like, Man, I'm really good at teaching this, not so good at educating this right, and executing this on my own terms. And so it's. Interesting that, that that can be an element that drops, like the ball, that drops, even though it's something that we're, we sit with, we simmer with.

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Book your call if you're a founder, an innovator, a trailblazer, or a wanna be. We can help you get there. Let's do it. So let's talk about that. Let's talk about it from an element of capacity, like how knowing that, you know, these kings that you're rising up. They have a lot of things, and I don't like to say that we wear a bunch of different hats because I think when I'm sitting here with you, I'm still a wife, I'm still a mom, I'm still all of those things.

I'm not wearing a different hat because I'm podcasting. Um, but they have responsibilities and they have titles within their name. Um, even underneath being a king. How do you help people like explore, uh, time management and prioritization and capacity? Yeah, I love it. I'll, uh, pull up my app real quick. You can't see this for those of you that are on the podcast version, but we've systemized it.

So we have a whole app which has faith, family, fitness and finance, uh, built into it. So every day we have a leader. So we have hundreds of guys that are amazing, that are actually competing on points to be better men. So investing in their marriages, investing in their faith, beating in their Bible. I have more men reading the bi, their Bible, not me.

God has more men reading their Bible than I ever a thought would be possible. Hundreds of men daily in their word, studying not to a, because like we need, there's so many things that we do, we have to have some kind of process. Yeah. That makes it easier. And so for me, I, I used to track, I'm a big track. I used to track all my habits.

I had like a spreadsheet, a Google spreadsheet with, I think there was like 60 things on there even. Wow. It was ridiculous. It was like, Hey, did I invest my life? Did I, did I wake up early? Did I, you know, I was like, track. Cause I know what you track improves. So that's in business. And personally though, people use it in business.

So if you're, if you wanna increase sales, track your sales, if you wanna increase sales, track the number of calls you're making, track the number of outreaches you have. Like you have to track. Yeah, Have to track. And you gotta have a weekly rhythm. Checking in on what you're tracking. So I implemented that same thing in our personal lives where I daily, Hey, did I, So this morning did I invest in my marriage?

So I made my wife coffee this morning. Good. And then I, it's did I invest with my kids? And so I spent one on one time with my boys this morning. And so I do all of this. Our goal is to do this daily because my wife's cup it, it. It depletes pretty quick. Yeah. She jokes around. She's like, I could have the best weekend with Skylar when she, when she talks to her ladies and she's like, Yeah, but then Monday comes around, she's like, I miss you.

I'm like, Babe, babe, babe. We literally spent the whole weekend together, had an epic weekend. She's like, I just still miss you. I'm like, Like, okay, I get it. It's just, But then that leaves gap because of that missing, That leaves gap for error for you. Right. And so there's an element of like, I think that's.

Sound and, and females who are listening are probably laughing cause they get it. Like I get that when I'm with my husband, but I think especially if I'm spending time with my husband as a family and our kids are there, I actually still do miss him. Yeah. Because there's like an in, there's an integration of the kids who are distracting or detracting from our conversations or our eyesight or whatever it is.

Um, but I get that, but I also think that it's important No different than these habits that you're talking about. It becomes the habit of language and what are we telling ourselves in correlation to that relationship in order for us to then have like actual sound truth versus the story that we're telling ourselves, right?

Like, I miss him. I haven't spent any time with him. Well, that's not true. It's like I miss him. I've got to spend the whole weekend with him. I can't wait till we have this next thing. And so it becomes a language conversation in our mind and the story that we're saying connected to that, which then creates positive momentum versus stagnancy.

I think that's something that my husband and I are really like conscious of. What story are you saying that's actually evoking that emotion? Cuz it's probably not. That's so good. Yeah. My wife talks a lot about, uh, she calls it spouse fulfilling prophecies, . So when, when her ladies are like, You know what, my husband never picks up his clothes, then he'll never pick up his clothes, then he'll never pick up his clothes.

And so she like, she's really in tune with language. Right. It sounds like you are too, is very tune with language and very aware of what's being said. Cause we create. The more we say it, it starts to filter out the times he didn't he Right. Cause it what whatever we believe ends up becoming true. So if we, if, if, if you're right, If, if Jessica is always nagging.

Yep. Then the time she wasn't nagging, I won't even see it cuz my mind is trained to be in alignment with my belief systems. Mm-hmm . And so we have to be really aware of our language though. Powerful. Cuz it shares our beliefs. Yeah. That's why I'm always in tune listening very closely cuz I can hear someone's belief systems by just listening to their language.

Yep. Um. So well, and I think as you were talking about, like what an amazing testimony to say that one of the prioritizations of the day to be a king is to be in the word and out of your heart, your mouth speaks. And so the more eyes are fixated on that, the more our mind is focused on that, the more it's being deposited by the spirit.

For us to be able to recall that quicker than the limiting belief or the enemy's lies. Whatever problem is in our forefront because we're gonna face problems every single day. Like that's, it's gonna happen. But when that, when you're leading with truth and it's actually what's propelling you forward, you kind of are able to like be a bulldozer to like the problems.

You're like, Ah, move outta the way. Move outta the way. I got that. I got that. And you've literally been doing that since you were 13. So my curiosity. Who is your mom? Can I have a conversation with her? I wanna know . And is it, is it the right person? Did you have a mentor who, who, who helped you in developing your, your faith?

That's great. It was definitely, my mom helped in developing my faith. However, yeah, she, uh, I mean she, uh, super loving woman. I can give her that. She's amazingly loving and totally broken. Totally broken. So she, I grew up in like a little 700 square. House in a place called Hammock, California. Mm-hmm. , we, uh, yeah, we struggled and my mom just, she drank a, she drank a lot.

She drank a lot of alcohol. She never. , the thing is, yeah, so she never like did work on herself. So she loved Jesus with all of her heart and was totally broken. Mm-hmm. . So how does that work? It's a lot of people. Yeah. Lot. How do you love Jesus with all your heart and be, and have anger issues and resentment and, uh, you can't be disciplined and you overweight and you're struggling with, like, how, how does that, how does that, It's because you have, you have to continue to do work on yourself.

Yeah. Right. It's not, it's, he's not gonna go take care of everything. Like we, we have to, we have to still do the work. We, That's why I'm a big believer in hey, scripture, Right. All day long, every day and Yeah, you gotta go talk to a therapist sometimes. Yeah. You gotta go, you gotta go do some work. Yeah. And so that's the, that's the journey that's really important I think, for Christians.

Uh, there's a lot of Christians though, that are afraid of, and I get it, there's a lot of secular help that could pull you away. So you do have to be cautious of where you go get your teaching. That's why I love what you do. Yeah. Cause where, what, where are people getting their nuggets from? And if it's secular, it, it will, it probably will eventually pull you away.

Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Agreed. Um, and so it's critical. So my mom, she's, she's awesome. Uh, but still very broken, right? Yeah. Still shovel of alcohol. Yeah. She didn't go heal the wounds as a child, uh, that she experienced. Cause that's where most of our we're, we're 80% of our programming as human beings is, comes from the time we're about eight to 12 years old.

Mm-hmm. , almost all of our programming, how we think about people, how we think about money, relationships, all of it. So if your best friend was mean to you and betrays you as a 10 year. You're not gonna trust women. Yeah. Right. So if you haven't gone back and done a lot of work around that, uh, you're gonna be struggling.

Like, so we gotta do some, we gotta do some deeper work here and, Yeah. Well, and I think the. From a mentorship perspective, I've found it harder to find a female mentor that has done the hard work, connected to inner child work, connected to their faith and spirituality versus just like, I love Jesus too, but I, I think it's really important and not, but, and.

and I know how important he sees me and that I have to steward the vessel that he's given me. And that's where I think there's that collision of personal development and spirituality is that I have to be equipped, like you talked about maturity a while ago, and that was my, my word for my year. Last year, not this year, but the year four.

And I sat in that like really strongly like, how are you A 34? I was 34 at the time, like 34 year old, mature, more mature woman than a 95% of the women that are supposed to be mature for you as a teacher. Mm-hmm. . And it was hard to find that, especially in the church, which is bizarre, but they. Come to terms with vulnerability.

They hadn't had that conversation of mental health because they were still hiding underneath shame, connected to truth, and they didn't love themselves. . And so I'm, I think that there needs to be almost like a rise up queens for a specific generation, because I see in my millennial generation mental health being a popular conversation.

I'm depressed, I'm, I'm anxious, I'm, I'm taking this pill, I'm taking that, and they're more vulnerable. But that doesn't mean that we're more whole, but there there's more opportunity for help in that space because they're willing to raise their hand and be like, Yeah, I'm suicidal. And I'm like, Ah, let me teach you about that.

Right. But that other generation isn't, Yeah, it's rough right now. We just finished our this last Saturday. What was that? Two days ago, man, we're just rolling with events. Uh, they, uh, was our, was our Gen Z event. We just had, it's called The Crucible was, uh, 18 to 26 year old guys. Cool. And, and man, you're right, there's a lot of challenges that they're having an anxiety, fears, uh, They don't know their identity in Christ.

They're confused at social media's. Totally jacked them up. Mm-hmm. , I mean, bad. Right? They just, they live off of people's highlight reels and they think they should be that way, and then it messes with their confidence and it's happening to men and women. It's, it's, it's, uh, yeah. There, there needs to be, there needs to be something.

So that's, that's kind of our next push is, Uh, and, and my wife works right? Rise up Queen. She works with a lot of women and does some deep work. She has an event in a week. Yeah. And it's going and, and doing some, like, she does some childhood stuff. She goes and does a lot of deep soul level, soul level work.

There's a really good book, by the way, if you're interested. Yeah. In reading, uh, about further soul developments called Renovation of the Heart by Dallas Willard. Really incredible. It's a. It's an intense read. Yeah. Uh, but it's very, the, the reason we have so many broken Christians is they haven't done the soul level work.

Mm-hmm. right around our, cuz around our soul. We have our, we have our spirit. Yep. Then we have our mind. Yep. Then we have our emotions after that. Like, so you have to do work around your mind, around your emotions, then around your body and your habits, around your social relationships. And so he says he teaches all of those rings.

That's your soul that encompasses your entire soul. And so what happens is, is those rings, uh, those things get out of alignment. Yep. So your will may say, I wanna be a better Christian. Your habits are, are you wake up late, so you never get scripture time. Yeah. And then your emotions, or you get angry. And so everything's pointing in a different direction.

Yeah. So you, you're, you're just, you're, he, he talks about it being a disintegrated Yep. You're a disintegrated Christian. Yep. And so the goal is to come bring all those different aspects of our soul into integration, and then that way we live at peace. That's the only way to truly live at peace is when those things start to integrate.

Very powerful. That's so good. Well, and I, it goes back to me the concept that we were talking about at the very beginning, connected to identity and who we are connected to love and trust. And if we can't like have love and trust and integrity with ourself and like follow our own word, like this is what I say and this is what I do and this is how I feel.

And we have all of these things in alignment. , That is where the, the going to sleep, peaceful, waking up, joyful with the anticipation that, like what I say I'm gonna do today, I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do it, and I'm not gonna do the thing until I do the other thing. Right? And so I, I encourage people when they're asking questions, and I'm sure there's gonna be people who do the same to you all the time in these elements of pillar is, is knowing that.

There is an opportunity for a massive shift and it's one day at a time. It's one action item at a time, and it doesn't have to be so cumbersome. I think that's why people get scared is they think that there's like something, there is drastic things to happen, but it doesn't have to be so heavy. How do you help men like make those shifts or even the women with Rise Up Queens make those shifts without it feeling like they have to start over in their.

The shift specifically around, I mean, it's anything, It could be the physical shift, right? Yeah. I see obesity even in our children. It's, it's the, it's the small thing. So the, the thing is our identity really drives our behavior. Yeah. And so how do you change your identity? Yeah, you change it through your, your belief systems, which are changed through your habits.

So the thing is, if you could start with little habits, good. Like if you don't see yourself as a person that works out, but you start, you can get to the place where you start working out at least a little bit. Yeah. You can eventually become a person that works out and then your identity will then become, I'm a person.

I am a person that works out good. And so you can start with it. Start, I say starting little, but being. You, we have to be a really good book called Atomic Habits. Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking about. I love it. Yeah. And, uh, I was teaching about this along before. I love his work. Yeah. And so yeah, our identity's tied in our, our daily disciplines.

Yeah. So, so what we do each morning, our morning routine is everything because those, those eventually become who we think we are. Our identity, my, my definition is who we believe we are. That's, that's our identity. So do I believe I'm a person that's consistent? Do I believe I'm a per a person that is in integrity?

Do I do I do, I follow my word, Like what do I believe about myself? It comes. It comes from our habits and it also comes from our past. Mm-hmm. . And so if we grew up in a poor neighborhood, we're gonna still have this part of our identity that believes we're poor. Yeah. And so we gotta do some work around our identity.

And I, I do that through affirmations or what I speak out loud and it can be done a different ways, but. So I, I work on my habits, right? I'm working on my habits, but then I'm also working on my affirmations and speaking truth and retraining. That voice in my head that says, Hey, you're unworthy. Hey, you don't work hard enough.

Hey, you're, you're, uh, you're not a good Christian. Uh, what, whatever these things are, Cause I've, I've done some messed up stuff in my past, so I had to. One of those being right in, in fidelity, not in marriage, but right before we got married, I made a huge deal with my wife, which my future wife, Jessica, made a giant deal about being like, She's the only one.

And then I was, I didn't realize how immature I was until I look back now, I'm like, Dude, I had no, my word meant nothing. Like I thought it meant something. Compared to what it is now, it meant nothing. And so I ended up messing up, cheating her, breaking her heart. Yeah. And we've been on a journey of healing ever since.

Mm. and it's, it's transformed our marriage and how we're able to help people that there's a saying, your mess becomes your message. For sure. Uh, like I was broken and so I, for me, I, I feel like I owe her for the rest of my life, and so I'm willing to do whatever it takes in the marriage. Mm-hmm. , and like the commitment level is very high, like, If she's mean or she's in a bad mood or she's whatever's going on.

Yeah. Like, I, look, I'm okay with it because I know, like I'm just in this for the long term. I'm my commitment, I'm, I'm gonna be with Jessica till the day I die no matter what. I'm gonna do everything possible. Like, and we teach on this commitment. Most people, the top rung of commitment is I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

And most people never play at that level in their marriage, in their fitness. Like, are you willing to do whatever it takes? But once you get there, all the, all the seemingly big stuff doesn't matter. It's all small stuff. Like if I'm gonna be with this person forever and I'm never thinking about divorce ever again, it won't even cross my mind.

Yep. Like, who cares if this stuff happens? Like whatever. Like we're just gonna get through it. Yeah. Cause I'm in it for. There's no point. It's more painful to to, to resist all of this than to just roll with it, cuz I know I'm in it forever. Completely. So it's so good. And I, and I thank you for sharing cuz I think it's so critical and people who have read my book know the story and connection between my husband and, and me and that same storyline.

And how that has really changed the trajectory of our marriage in so many amazing ways. And I'm, It's weird to be grateful for things that are hard. It's weird to be grateful for the valley moments, but I not, I definitely don't seek them out anymore, . But I, I have the element of such empathy that I never would've had before.

And I, I agree that. The little things are such little things like they'd have no comparison to what I know to be eternity when it comes to the covenant love that I get to experience not just with him, but also with the father. And I never would've had that exchange had I not been in a place of less of me.

More of him, less of me, more of him. And so I, I just, I honor what you're doing so much. I think it's not, like I said, not just needed for men, but I love to know that you're doing it in such a, a massive way and, and I would love for more people to have it. Access to that. So obviously 35 events is a lot.

I'm assuming some of those events are connected to women. So you've got Rise Up Queens, Rise Up Kings. I, I need to sit at you at your feet as a sensei to teach me about all of your event ways, cuz I think we're at like 12, that's a lot. Breathing in to 2023 and wondering how in the world are we adding more?

Yeah. Are you asking that right now, ? Uh, yeah. Well, no, we probably need to end, but I'm sure people are curious cause it's, Yeah. Well, I'll, I'll leave, I'll leave with that then, or I won't leave. But here's a, here's something that's one of my favorite verses is James one. Mm-hmm. two, three, and four. I don't know if you know this one, but consider it pure joy.

Whenever you face trials of many kinds for that, you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. So like part of the journey is Tamara, as you're stepping into your next level of growth and.

Uh, impact, right? Is continuing to lean into the hard times, which I feel like you have the right mindset. Yeah. But leaning into the hard times because that testing of your faith is really what develops character perseverance. That's probably why you're such a strong woman of character. You've gone through some challenging times and that testing of your faith, like it, it truly develops you.

And then if you pair that verse with Romans 8 28, which is also one of my favorite verses in all things, God works out everything for the good of. Who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. So lean into the pain. Right. And the suffering lean into it because he's gonna work it all out for the good.

And so you trust in those two, in those two things, that promise and then that mindset. Yeah. Right. And all things consider it joy, like the consider pain, joy. Yeah. Uh, you can only do that because you know he's gonna work it out. And so like, I want to go take, like next year I want to go do something huge.

I need a little bit more pain. I've kind of hit some, I've hit some marks where, yeah, I'm not, it's not like there's, or I want to go take a risk. So big. And that's how I started Rise Up Kings. I took, I said, God, I've done a lot of stuff in, in quote unquote, my own strength. Like I'm kind of playing in my realm.

I wanna do something so big you have to show up. Like you literally, the only way it could be done is if you show up, Lord. Yeah. And so I was like, Okay, rise up Kings, it's time. And so I put on an event, two months, I gave myself two months and there was no, I had no curriculum, no instructors, no anything. I had two months to put together this three day.

I had not spoken more than one hour previously in front of public. Oh, wow. More than one. I had a, I was putting on a three day event, an intense Navy SEAL style. I had no instructor. I didn't know what, and so he brought everybody and everything together. And then I remember sitting there, we ended on Saturday night cause I committed not to do an events on Sunday just to be faithful.

And I was sitting in church. And I'm like, and they were seeing about how, God, how, how faithful are you? And then it like really clicked. I'm like, Wow. I'm like, Lord, you are. I just started crying. I'm like, Lord, you are so faithful in this. Like, I'm just amazed that that even ha, I could have only, that could have literally only happened with you.

Yeah. And so I would challenge people. Including you, right? You're you're talented. I'm you're talented. So it's like, what can we do that's so big that we, there's no humanly human way. We could do it on our own. And for those listeners, like take a risk, go take a chance. Do something big that is outside of your comfort zone and something where you would need God to show up in it.

Mm. I love that. Unlike processing, uh, it's my birthday today, happy birthday, and I'm, I'm sitting and simmering and I've been in the word, even just this morning processing like what's my word over my years so that I can lean into that truth and. It might be risk, which is kind of, kind of salty, but I, I think it's that leaning in, it's taking that next level of courage and, and not testing your faith like you're testing God, though he's, he's willing to show up in that regard, but in, in risking.

You're inviting him. You're inviting him in. So that's what it is. It's, Lord I'm, I wanna take a risk cuz I wanna glorify you and I'm gonna invite you in. Good because I'm not gonna do it in my own strength. Come on, let's do this together. Really good. I'm like really excited. I need do some jumping jacks,

I'm like, come on. Jesus. Right. Show off. For me, I always say that, Show off for me Lord. Uh, he's done it for me before, and he'll do it again. And he wants to do it for the listener who's on the other side, who doesn't feel like he's seen God's glory or she's seen God's glory manifested in a big way. He wants to show up for us.

And so I'm grateful that he is done that in your life and your testimony to so many. And I know you're gonna do it again cuz you're just gonna keep risking bigger. So it's been amazing. Skylar, thank you so much. I want people to, um, get connected with you. Obviously getting the two day CEO will be in the links and going to rise up rise up and uh, what else are you on Instagram?

Tick. Have you hung out in TikTok yet? To I'm still learning. I, I'm, I'm, Yeah. No, I'm not on there yet. , here's your, There's your risk. Nah, I love it. Instagram is where you're at most? Yeah. Instagram and Facebook. Cool. Yeah. Cool. Likewise Skylar. Is there any final moments of wisdom nuggets you wanna drop for the listeners?

I think you've done a ton. I think that was the final one. I just, Yeah, it was good. That just resonates with me in kind of as a new, my new beating gem is getting people to trust, trust God a little bit more than they maybe. So, yeah. Yeah. I'm grateful to be on here. This was super fun. Thank you. I agree.

Thanks, brother. So good to know you and we're excited to share it out to the community. You guys get in touch with Skyler and his beautiful wife, Jessica. Have a blessed day. Thank you.

Hey y'all. It's me again. Before you go, let's solidify the flame that was ignited within you today by sharing the spark with your own community. Whether it's mentally, physically, emotionally, relationally, or spiritually. I would love for you to take the step right now by declaring your takeaway. Snap a pick of the episode and share it on your stories or.

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