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Being Real in a World Full of Fakes with Sam Acho


Let me clue you in on something real quick. Business tip, OK? I teach this thing called stacking. And what I mean from that in a business sense is that you stack one on top of another, on top of another of the thing that you’re already gifted in, you’re already using, you’ve already developed your repurposing and recycling in order to provide value. OK, I just realized the unlock between my professional coaching and this beautiful podcast that has just emerged over the last two years and how there is a stacking happening.

There is a compounding effect that is taking place by the voices that are creating Kingdom Impact. And I am honored to sit alongside Sam Acho today and just unpack what it means to be real in a world full of fakes. And you guys, he just released a book that I am currently just diving into every minute that I get on Audible, and it’s called Let the World See You. And being real in a world full of fakes is the tag line.

And it is so incredibly powerful. I feel like when we shared in this podcast that we both were people who have just hid in plain sight in our life. He was an NFL player for the Bears and the Cardinals and a public speaker and a humanitarian. You get to learn so much more about him. You have to tune in to this episode, because the ultimate thing that I know that you’re going to take away and that I hope that you take away and I pray that you are going to take away.

But I know that I know that I know that you are going to take away is that you two can remove your mask and maybe that mask looks like the inner child. Maybe that mask looks like shame. Maybe that mask looks like guilt. Maybe that mask, like me and Sam looks like a smile. And we have deeper masks, too, that we talk about in this episode. So please know that this is your time to rise and be real.

GUEST BIO

Sam Acho is an NFL player, writer, public speaker, and humanitarian. He speaks widely at colleges, events, conferences, and churches, and is the cohost of The Home Team Podcast. The founder and president of Athletes for Justice, he is a vice president of the NFL players association and a graduate of the University of Texas and the Thunderbird School of Global Management. Learn more at samacho.com.

CONNECT WITH SAM:

https://www.facebook.com/thesamacho

https://www.instagram.com/thesamacho/

https://www.instagram.com/HomeTeam_Pod/

https://samacho.com

Show Notes: Being Real in a World Full of Fakes

Tamra Andress

OK, let me clue you in on something real quick. Business tip, OK? I teach this thing called stacking. And what I mean from that in a business sense is that you stack one on top of another, on top of another of the thing that you’re already gifted in, you’re already using, you’ve already developed your repurposing and recycling in order to provide value. OK, I just realized the unlock between my professional coaching and this beautiful podcast that has just emerged over the last two years and how there is a stacking happening.

There is a compounding effect that is taking place by the voices that are creating Kingdom Impact. And I am honored to sit alongside Sam Acho today and just unpack what it means to be real in a world full of fakes. And you guys, he just released a book that I am currently just diving into every minute that I get on Audible, and it’s called Let the World See You. And being real in a world full of fakes is the tag line.

And it is so incredibly powerful. I feel like when we shared in this podcast that we both were people who have just hid in plain sight in our life. He was an NFL player for the Bears and the Cardinals and a public speaker and a humanitarian. You get to learn so much more about him. You have to tune in to this episode, because the ultimate thing that I know that you’re going to take away and that I hope that you take away and I pray that you are going to take away.

But I know that I know that I know that you are going to take away is that you two can remove your mask and maybe that mask looks like the inner child. Maybe that mask looks like shame. Maybe that mask looks like guilt. Maybe that mask, like me and Sam looks like a smile. And we have deeper masks, too, that we talk about in this episode. So please know that this is your time to rise and be real.

You guys know that this is all about understanding what Fit in Faith truly means. And so I’m excited to unpack what that potentially could be in Sam’s life. So beyond just being – I had to follow, I was tracking like how many different NFL teams has he played for?

We’ve got the Bears. We’ve got the Cardinals. I was like trying to figure out if you played in other realms of athleticism at some point in your book. I’m like, this guy has been around the block as a free agent and now a writer and a motivational speaker and a podcast host himself. And so, Sam, thank you so much for being here and just enjoying this time with me now.

Sam Acho

I’m so excited, Tamra, when we connected. I know if it was a couple of weeks ago and I just saw your joy and I was like, I got to be a part of this. And so I’ve been keeping up with some of the episodes so that to be a guest on the Fit in Faith podcast.

So good, you guys. So it was a kind of a funny thing. And I was just unpacking it with Sam like I am never on social media in the evening. And I even have so many people who are marketing experts and gurus and people even on my team who are like, you know, you need to show up for your audience when they’re online. And I’m like, well, I’m online at 4:30, 5:30, 6:30. And so I don’t want to be on when I’m with my kiddos.

But this particular night I had I had a meeting, I came home late and everyone was already in bed and I opened up Instagram and Ben Higgins and Sam Acho were on their like sharing a story. And I guess Ben does this regularly. I’m telling you, I’ve never I never even knew any about this stuff. And I’ve also never tuned into his live – any of it. And Sam just was like infusing the Holy Spirit and Ben in such a crazy way.

Ben was like really serious and like receiving the Holy Spirit not in like a Pentecostal type way, but I believe that there was such transformation that was happening to him because you were just infusing word. But more importantly, just your own spirit was like so igniting me and convicting me in so many ways. So thank you for showing up in that way. And I’m grateful that I got to do so via Instagram. I don’t usually thank social media, but today I will.

Sam Acho

Yes, I’m so glad. I’m so glad even me too. I’ve been in a space where I’m figuring out, OK, timing and things. So we went back and forth a little bit. But man, I’m honored to be to be here.

Tamra Andress

So good. So I want you to just jump right in, because when I heard this episode, I find out that the one of the reasons that he was chatting with Ben was because he just newly launched a book. And not only is the book something I immediately downloaded and started listening to because I am an audible person all day long, I was hoping it was your voice, but I heard how you said that. That’s a lot, right? Like just repeating like an intro to one of these things is a lot, but I imagine that it’s your voice.

So it’s nice to hear your actual voice here. But it is so part of my story. So many connective pieces and it’s called he has it behind him. You can’t really see it, can you? Scooch it over. So they have it all over there.

It’s called Let the World See You. And it kind of just reminds me of of the mask that I wore for so long in my life. So I want to hear all about the concept of the book and how it’s just been something. Now that is a story that’s an out there story. Right, to be vulnerable all the time.

Sam Acho

Absolutely. So my book is called Let the World See You How to be Real in a World Full of Fakes.

And it really is a book about about hiding, but hiding and oftentimes about hiding, about wearing masks, not the ones that you put on over your ears, but like figurative mass that we wear and the shame and the fear and the doubt and the anxiety that a lot of us go through, whether you’re a follower of Jesus or not, these doubts that we have and I know for me personally, I remember being 13 years old and getting made fun of it.

You know, we were at like a church group. And I was I went to an all black church, but an all white school. My parents were Nigerian. So it’s kind of this whole smorgasbord kind of growing up. But I remember getting made fun of by some of the kids at this youth group, and they were talking about my clothes and whatever and on my shoes. And my dad was a pastor at that church. They were talking about me.

Even someone said, oh, no, no, no, you can’t talk about him. That’s Dr Acho said his dad’s a pastor here. And they all turned around and they kind of went back to their thing. And that instead of feeling this sense of pride like, yeah, my dad, I said I felt a sense of shame like them, like I’m ashamed of because you can’t even dress yourself.

I’m ashamed of what I was wearing that ashamed of my embarrassing my dad. And I remember just getting up after they turned around and I and I took about a twenty yard walk to the bathroom stall, the restroom salt. And I just I sat there walking to the store and I just sat there, sat there for about 30 minutes. And usually this hour it was an hour and a half youth group. The first 30, 40 minutes were spent with high schoolers like us who was talking about me, the high schoolers and the second half I spent with your age group so I could try to time it out and wait it out.

Then 30 minutes later, so I walked back out and walked into my little classroom with just a thirteen year old kids, and I thought that was a temporary one time thing. Right. But the next week, I felt that sense of shame again. And I went straight to the bathroom stall and I hit it again. And that would become a pattern for that summer or whatever summer that was. And I remember thinking, OK, well, you’re 13.

No big deal. Fast forward, I’m thirty one thirty two years old right now and I still find myself wanting to hide and know even. Yes, I play in the NFL. So I wasn’t hiding in restroom stalls and NFL locker rooms, but I was hiding who I really was. Right. As a follower of Jesus, hiding who I was as a guy who is passionate and will get angry, love people. And I mean, it feels hurt.

Sometimes I would hide that side of me when I felt afraid or shamed or fearful. And so this book is really me coming out of my shell and begging and beckoning the reader to come out of their shell as well and let the world see them. It’s so good.

I don’t know if it’s a show or another book or something, but like the concept of like hiding in plain sight keeps coming to me because I feel like that’s so often what we can get stuck doing in comfortability of a blanket of shame. And that sounds like horrible. Like why would somebody want to blanket themselves in shame and go to the bathroom? And it’s really just about like the comfort zone of feeling like, OK, in here I’m safer. And so in me it was like being a recluse inside of who I am, hiding secrets about who I am instead of letting the world see every component of myself.

And I think that that happens in so many different ways. And I am so grateful that I did not exist during a school time when there was social media, because imagine that if there was Instagram, imagine that if there was Facebook. And so now ticktock and Snapchat. And I don’t I can’t even count all the things. But I absolutely did the same thing for a multitude of different reasons from all the way from elementary school, actually, from the age of three, which is what my book was about when I published that chapter earlier this year.

And it’s hiding in shame that keeps so many of us limited from one our identity to authorities and three, our freedom. And like knowing this thing that you said at the very beginning was just like the joy, right? Like there’s joy on this side of heaven and it’s the unlock to me and I believe to everyone when you start to share your testimony. Absolutely. I there’s a quote by a woman named Marianne Williamson. It talks about I’ll just read it, actually, and it talks about like our biggest fears aren’t that.

And as we’re doing this live podcast when they’re trying to find it.

But anyways, it says, like, our biggest fears aren’t that we are that we are inadequate.

Our biggest fears is that we’re powerful beyond measure our strength, not our weakness, that that scares us. And just to that point of saying, what are we really afraid of? Right. What am I really afraid of? Right. This shame like guess. Yes, it’s comfortable for me to go to a restroom stall. It might be comfortable for us to hide in our shame because it feels safe. But I think the real reason I hid is because I knew there was a kind of power inside of me that I was afraid may be the right word.

I was afraid that what if I like is this it’s scary.

Like, is this what would happen if I really showed who I really am and so good.

Yeah, like I’ll just read a little, a little extra. Please, please.

Let’s do it. And it’s your voice I can record. I know I was going and I was going to record my own voice on the audio book, but I prayed about it. I really was like, hey, just chill.

And that partly also I don’t love hearing the sound of my voice, but the guy who does it is amazing. I have a thing about voices and audible books and sometimes I’m like, oh, I cannot listen to this. He’s exactly that’s what I heard.

So so this is the story of what we just talked about, right, being in that restroom stall. So so chapter one. Right, hiding it says this. It says at one point or another, we all face times where our insecurities flare up directly in front of us. In these moments, we’re left to choose between one of three options address the insecurities, run from them or hide from them. When I was younger, my natural instinct was to choose the third option.

Hiding is always the easy option for me. Whenever I came across a situation, I wasn’t comfortable and I’d simply find a way to escape. I find a place to hide. The problem arose when that temporary hiding place became a permanent one. One night, a 13 I was attending to one Wednesday night evening youth service as usual at our predominately black church. My dad was one of the pastors of this relatively large congregation and by default I always tried not to be noticed.

But this time will be different. I thought I was the man in my red Tommy Hilfiger shirt, my blue reversible Nautica shorts and my purple shoes.

You see, the school I attended outfitted all of the students in uniforms. And my weekend attire usually consisted of random combinations of basketball shorts and t shirts. So on this night, I was quite proud of my new digs. But even though it was at church, people are people and some people tend to be mean, especially to little kids who are trying hard to impress. So I kind of go on a little bit about the ones in that youth services, but I fast forward to this part.

I say, you know, they saw my outfit outfit that night and there was no holding back. Bro, what are you wearing?

Several of the guys asked, who dressed you? Do you even know how to?

And I’m reading this like I’m remembering like, do you even know how to wear clothes? Like, what are you doing?

You know? And and so anyways, it goes on and on and on and me being roasted and being crushed and going to that restroom stalling. And then it’s like the first part of Chapter one ends, just like you said. Tamara says this.

It says, When I hid in the restroom stall, I felt safe. I felt safe and. I think a lot of us, I think we. We run to what feels safe as opposed to running to God.

Yeah, and what I mean by that is Andy Mineo has a song. Called uncomfortable, and in his song, he says, comfort is the thing that will make a king fall. Come to think about David Wright, what was David doing when he slept with Bathsheba? Yeah, he was. He was he was comfortable.

Everyone was out at war and he was back home and being comfortable wasn’t out on the battlefield. Comfort is the thing. And so comfort and safety. Right. Jesus. Jesus constantly called his followers to be radical, right, to radically follow him if for whatever reason, we want to be comfortable. Yeah. Comfortable versus radical.

And so so this book for me is really this idea of saying, like you said, Tamira. Right. Like, when you’re you write that you have your way of saying it. The way I say it, I say when you’re you God gets the glory. Yeah. The people around you benefit and the world around you thrives right now. When you’re comfortable. When you’re you. Yeah.

So good. It’s so crazy to because this kind of followed you and this is kind of the point of the book is that it followed you in so many different facets. I mean, to think you’re an NFL superstar, right? I mean, you’re like every seven year old boy’s dream and you’re living out that life and here you are hiding behind your mask because of an allergy attack.

And like, yeah, if you have an allergy attack.

Right, like the cameras are on you, that audience is seeing you. You’re out of your comfort zone. Are you married to your beautiful Nigerian wife? At that point?

I was married to my wife, who was a second year. No, I wasn’t. We were OK. We weren’t married at that point. We actually had just started. We had oh, we were married. We had just our day. And it wasn’t because it wasn’t a little allergy attack. Now, it was like, so let me see ya ya. I’ve read the book. Yeah. Let me I think you’ve got a little bit of insight.

I mean if you, if you want to get a visual think about the movie hitched or hitch, whatever you wear, Will Smith, everything is puffed up.

I was in on the field and apparently I didn’t even know, but apparently NFL linebacker here of an exercise induced allergies. It’s all of a sudden my face starts to swell up, right.

My my arm starts to swell, like literally like and it’s like. Right. You’re laughing.

It’s not it. And everything swelling up and and and my teammate and his name is this I love this video podcast because they’re getting some behind the scenes. So yes. So my teammate, I’ve never done this. So this is like it’s so like his name is name’s O’Brien Schofield. He’s like, you know, some people have like big eyes like walk around like this, like he uses like like this, like this side.

He saw me and he was like, bro, what he’s like, dude have you see look at your face right in the middle of a game.

I’m like, oh, you’re, you’re ugly. I’m ugly. He’s like he’s like, no, bro. Like your face is swollen and I’m like, what is going on? He calls the team God and the team doctor has normal.

Just looking at team doctors, Aisgill, you know, and I’m like, what is happening?

This is Sam. Your face is swollen. And my jaw I felt some itching like here.

And it’s kind of but I didn’t really. And so they gave me like an EpiPen shot. The swelling went down a little bit, but it still was still a little bit swollen.

I wanted to get back out on the field and and the doctors asked me, OK, well, Sam, I see your lips are swollen. I’m like, yeah, but it’s fine. I’m good. I’m good, I’m good, I’m good, I’m good. And I’m like running on like going on the field. Like, is your is your throat swollen. Right. You feel do you feel itching in your throat is what they said. And I’m like no I don’t feel any itching.

My throat is fine. Like why do you ask as I’m running off the field or on the field. I say, because if your throat is itching that means it’s going to be swollen. That means you cannot breathe. And I was like. So I literally just threw my helmet on, ran on the field, and I started to pray, oh, my God, I need you. So anyways, but this thing, right, we hide, we pretend we put on these massive for me, that was a face helmet and face mask.

I kept it on the entire game. Right. I started wearing long sleeves, happened a week in and week. I started wearing long sleeved shirts. Right. This is before I met, before my wife and I got married.

But it was just it was an interesting season of life, right. About hiding and shame and maybe may not be allergies for some people. Some people may be. Something happened in your past you’re ashamed of and you don’t want people to see. Yeah.

And that really is a part of my story. And what became my mask was actually my smile, which is the thing that I believe God gifted me as like that initial joy factor that I can just give people. And so growing up, I always had the compliment. Like, you light up a room with your smile. And meanwhile, I was so broken, I was so striving. I was so living out of achievement and desire to be liked and known and seen, which is exactly what your book is about and exactly the love that our father in heaven has for us and the desire that he has for us.

And it wasn’t until I was twenty nine had lost all of the things that I thought made me successful and was curled up in a bathtub listening to tie to Cornwell’s fully known song on repeat repeat over and over and over that I finally understood that like God sees, every part of me even passed my my smile.

He knows the intimate parts of me and he still loves me. And for me it was we might be kindred spirits because I haven’t read the whole book.

So don’t give any secrets. I know I’m not going to give in and I’m not going to give any secrets away. But I will say this for me. I don’t think I share this. I didn’t share this part in the book. So there’s no secret I’m getting inside information with no secrets about it was a song by Marvin Sapp called He Saw the Best in Me. He saw the best in me when I when everyone else around could only see the worst in me.

Right. He saw the best in me and I was at a moment as well. Right. I was thirty and and I wasn’t curled up in a bathroom tub, but I was curled up on an aspirin, a chair in a counselor’s office therapist’s office and. And I started to understand that. Even my worst moments. The moments that. And I feel like no one knows about it and I don’t want anyone to know about God still sees those moments, God was aware of those moments, he’s aware of those moments.

And he loves me, not in spite of those, but in addition to those he even he like he loves me so much.

He would die for me for those moments. In my shame, in my brokenness, in my fear, in my doubt, in my anxiety. He. In me, you didn’t pull me in drag and say, no, stop crying. He said, I’m here. I’m here, right. He was at my doorstep. Right. That’s so true.

I love that understanding because it’s such a beautiful visual.

I’m such a visual learner and I feel like God speaks to me and vision so I can see a response when I am prayerful over something. And like, I love realizing that he doesn’t, like, yank you out of the pit like he was in the pit. Right. And he stayed in the pit until he got out. And so it’s realizing that even like Moses, who is going down this river when he was picked up out of the river from the princess like it’s a God was there, but he wasn’t the one who came and picked up Moses and said, you’re called to something.

It was a presence that he has just this knowing presence that we have to get a tune with, but also not not wait for at the same time, like that’s that piece of activation within our faith, like believing beyond that. But it took an activation for you to show up to the therapist to have the conversation and unlock that piece of you for him to be able to come in, uproot and replant and toil within you, right?

Yeah, it was. I mean, it was it was. It was a hard place. I was in a car similar to you, Tamara. People say, Nancy and your smile, you have the greatest smile and your smile and actually it. I just got released for the first time in my career, right? It’s gotten cut, I’ve gotten fired, whatever you want to call it. Yeah. And I remember telling one of the ladies.

About my release ladies who worked for the team. Her name is Katie Katie Nagle, and she’s the assistant to the chairman of the team and chairman and our friends. And I remember going up to Katie in the lunchroom and saying, hey, Sam, good to see you. So what’s going on? I said, oh, you know, that’s one less, you know, that I got I just got released. Just got cut by the team. And you’re.

She’s smiling. I’m smiling, right? I just got caught up and she’s like, OK, wait, wait, what did you say? So yeah, I just got cut. I’m actually headed out now, but thank you so much. She looks at me, she says, Sam. I thought you were telling me good news because you had a smile on your face, she says, Sam, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you’re getting released.

I couldn’t imagine this must be so hard and. I think it was in that moment where I was like, what am I doing? Yeah. What am I doing? Who am I? Who am I trying to fool? I got it all together, and it’s good. Oh, no, God is good. I know what you need. This is like. I’ve been doing this for 20 years, nine years, professionally, 20 years, right, and all of a sudden I don’t I don’t know what’s going to happen.

I’m like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

Like God is with us in our doubts. He’s with us and our fears. He’s with us in our studios with you in that bathtub. He was with me at that therapist’s office. He was with me when I got released. When I got the call, he was with me when my my house flooded. He was with me. My I broke my I tore my pet out for the season. Right. Talking pintor muscle in my arm. He was with me.

Right. My wife’s wallet. Gustl and he was with me. My friend died. He was with me and he’s still right now was with me. And so I think the thing for people like you and I, people who are. A cheap like we lock, we want we love we love this, we play to that and a lot of ways guys like, yeah, sure, great do that.

But even when everyone leaves and you’re by yourself and you may be in your tears and your fear or whatever, still with you it oh by the way, I’m not going anywhere so good.

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It’s so good.

There’s a gal that’s listening right now live and she has a beautiful ministry called Prodigal Princess, and she just nearly got this revelation about the concept of love remained.

And like through every single season, love remains like he’s still there. And it’s we we often go right to the victory points because it’s easy. We go right to the smile because it’s the place that it’s fun to showcase. But actually the place that causes transformation and unlock for other people are those those pits are those places of pain, because that’s more relatable than the joy, because I can’t relate to you that you are an NFL superstar. Right? I’ve never been with that.

Many cameras are on the field are like rushing something or even getting my MBA, which I want to do. But then I don’t really show my resume to anyone. So I thought I was honored with that. But it’s like these are achievements and things that have been really amazing for you. But at the end of the day, the part that’s going to really resonate with someone is that crying moment in the therapist. Yeah. Or that painful moment of breaking something, ripping something, losing something and still remaining in his love and still walking it out with him.

Enjoy. Yeah, you’re so right. You’re so right and so interesting.

So talk to me more about what is like this concept of Bicton faith. Right. Is this to me, this understanding of a mind, body, soul and spirit alignment. It’s this realizing that if you can treat your body as a vessel, if you can treat your mind as a steward for the Lord himself, your mouthpiece, your eyes, all this thing we armor up for God, just like you would put on all your pads and go out onto the field.

What does that look like for you on a consistent basis now that you’re not actually doing that? How do you armor up every day and go out into the world and do things, brave things like speaking on stage or writing a book or sharing your testimony or being just I know you travel and you have a lot of heart for like humanitarian missions, trips and stuff.

How do you how do you armor up? Yeah, I think the first step. Is this a stretch, this is Stretch, and here’s what I mean by that, one of my one of my best good friends, he’s a basketball coach, basketball coach for. For Purdue University, Northwest up in Indiana, and we have a group text we have on one of our buddies and he said, hey guys, we got to make sure we keep on.

We continue to stretch. What do you mean by that? Right. Because of football or in sports, before you practice, before you play, before you go out and do anything, before you even workout stretch.

Yeah. Because if you don’t stretch, if you don’t stretch, you’re going to get injured. Yeah. And in that workout. In that run. Right. You stretch.

And he said so what stretching looks like for us.

Is it spending time in the word of God stretch. If you don’t do that, you’re going to go out in this world, this thing we call life, you’re going to get into it means pray, spend time in prayer, getting up early, spending time in prayer, not just asking God for things, but listening. Yeah, right. God, would you like almost like allowing his his word to wash over you. Right. Stretch you stretch.

And so for me, what does it look like to be fit in face. It looks like me continually making sure every day is like yesterday.

Stretching is going to help me for tomorrow which I’ve got to so and so.

Yeah. So it’s that, that it’s living by it’s living right next to this kind of airport.

So you’re hearing a lot of kids going away for it to stop by and fly. But the next. Yeah, for me it means like living out what I write about. Right. We talk about we both wrote this book, Let the world seem to be real in the world of things. And it’s like, man, if I would be real, I can’t write about being real and not really be real. Yeah. So there’s issues I have with people or with myself.

I got to be real about those things have to be about things. So it’s stretching that it’s trying to live out what God call me to live out. That’s so good.

Another friend was talking to us about the concept of the two percent and like living in this zone where every day you access this two percent and you actually share it vocally versus keeping it inside because eventually that two percent becomes a compounding. That then becomes the one hundred percent. And we find ourselves curl up right. And crying because we’ve we’ve hit and we’ve put cast darkness into a place that if we bring it to the light, it’s no longer the two percent.

And so, like being able to share that has been an active piece that for the last two and a half, three months, I always think to myself, and I’ll be on date nights with my husband and I’m like, What, you’re two percent? And it opens up a door that I never really thought about because I feel like I’m pretty vulnerable and transparent with people as a practice, as a value of my life based on that unlock of I don’t want to wear this mask anymore.

But confronting other people with that and giving them that as your hey, nice to see you today. What you two percent and people like what it creates a connection, unlike anything that I’ve ever experienced, both in my friendships and my marriage and my children. We do like highs and lows at the end of the day or rainbows and thorns. And it kind of helps them process as little people emotion that are really important things that are gifted from God.

But at the same time, like, we need to understand how to deal with them versus suppress them.

Yeah. What does that tell me more about that, Tamara? The two percent like tell me more about that.

Yeah. So like every day we’re we’re living at one hundred percent. Right. That’s the hope anyway. And ninety percent I would say we’re on autopilot like we’re doing the thing that our body just is automatically doing. We’re going and doing the schedule, we’re eating the breakfast, we’re doing all the things. Eight percent is, I think where we’re living on like this, this striving, this achievement, this place of what can I do so that my 90 percent is better on a given basis, whether you’re living in the past.

And that’s like that place of shame and guilt or you’re living in a place of a futuristic thinking. Oftentimes nobody really lives in the present, which is something I’m constantly practicing. But that two percent is the hidden percent. It’s the percent that you think about. It’s the thing the thing that you you know, it exists, but you keep stepping on top of it, thinking if I put it down under the bottom of my shoe, no one else will see it.

And I don’t have to deal with it. So what happens with the two percent? We cope. We start drinking alcohol, just one glass, no big deal. We we work out to an extent that it’s not healthy for us. We sleep. I was I would sleep a lot to the point. I was taking Tylenol PM and sleeping like hours during the day and then still sleeping 12 hours a night shopping. Like so many things, we can cope with drugs, sex, all of that.

And so getting to the root of what that two percent is allows to break that two percent free, but then also holds you accountable. So now, instead of me just knowing the two percent, it’s still hidden. I’m now giving it to you, Sam, so that you can reach out to me tomorrow and you can say, Tamara, how’s that thing? How’s that thing that’s bothering you? How’s that thing that you need to work on the becoming process?

Because none of us are perfect. No matter how saved we are, we are all imperfect. And God is constantly in this process of revealing himself so that we can become more like him. And so what’s that two percent? What would that two percent be for you?

Hmm. I love that. I love that for me. Oh. So good. I’ll just put it in language that I can understand or that I’ve been dealing with, it’s it’s our child, our adult and our shadow.

Wow, child, adult shadow.

I think a lot of us, each and every one of us, we have that little kid inside, the one that wants to play and have fun and just wants to go and wants a hug that feels scared or hurt or ashamed and something little.

I’ve got a five year old and know he you know, he almost hit my phone and he started some later started crying. Daddy, I’m so sorry, because I almost broke off. I’m like, no, no, it’s OK. But we all have that little kid inside of us, right? The child. Yeah. And then there’s the adult. Right. OK, got responsibilities. I have deadlines. I got to make sure everybody’s fed and make sure I’m taking care of myself.

Right. Then we also have the shadow there. Maybe I don’t if we want to say it this way, but I’m not like that to the shadow that one that when the adult doesn’t step up for work for when he or where he or she is supposed to be, that shadow comes in to try and protect the little kid like that. And yes, the child feels protected, but the shadow needs with the shadow needs right now about coping drugs and alcohol, shopping, working out whatever it is like eating.

Yeah, that’s the shadow. And so what I am learning how to do learning is how to name my emotions. Right, I am afraid. Right now, this situation. I mean, I feel really, really anxious. I mean, I’m really angry and I’m really happy, right? Naming your emotions once you can name them. It’s like you got better control of that.

You were talking about, you know, of you talked about earlier, which is the way we cope, right? Your body keeps the score. Yeah, right. That’s what that’s what we do that talks to you as your body keeps it keeps the score.

Yeah, right.

I you find yourself crying out of nowhere by yourself. Just feel your body keeps score to try and keep it all in.

Keep it all true that stress can be the thing that cultivates cancer. Bingo. Right. And so it’s it’s ultimately stress, hidden in anxiety, hidden in worry and fear and outrage and anger. All of these things. I think, again, I’m such a visual and I like seeing the shadow again, blanket this baby, this child and the adult still rising up because that’s what we’re all to do, because that’s what they told us we had to do.

And so as a father, you can specifically understand the power of this as a parenting strategy as you go into your son and saying you don’t have to worry about that phone, you’re more important to me. It’s OK, though, if you cry. But Daddy’s not mad at you right now. That’s not how I feel. I’m proud of you for having that emotion and releasing it, because as boys, that’s a thing that our generation was never taught.

Like, boys don’t cry, be strong. But ultimately we need men who know their emotions and you need women that know their emotions. And so naming it, we now have as an adult to adult the inner child. That’s what they write and say, OK, instead of coping, we’re going to feel today. And you’re talking to yourself in the mirror as that 12 year old little girl, you’re going to feel that shame or that guilt that we’ve already handed over to the Lord.

But today it’s still burning you and it’s OK to feel it right?

It’s OK. I never thought it was like, man, like, I’m not supposed to be angry. I’m not supposed to be afraid of this little thing or this person was supposed to be good. No, it’s OK to be both and to be both excited about something, but kind of scared. It’s OK. Right. A new job. Are you having a child? Right. Remember when we got we had our first some wife was pregnant with our first son.

I was scared out of my mind. I didn’t know. I don’t know how to verbalize that. It’s like, well, yeah, I’m a dad. It’s like I still am like, well, what am I doing?

And so. But it’s OK. Yeah, it’s OK. It’s OK. It’s OK. Yeah.

I always talk about from an entrepreneurial perspective, which is something you’re really dumping into, which is so fun and realizing that that both and is a part of your history and your future. It’s a part of the, the highs and the lows is what will serve you as an entrepreneur because then you become that real relatable, not wearing a mask type person. And someone something is different about this person. What is it? And we as believers and Kingdome ripple effect or is right.

We get to say it’s Jesus. And so it’s so important for us to continue to steward those emotions, to steward that shadow, to steward that inner child, so that that shadow now is behind us instead of us.

Because it’s funny. It’s funny because I remember thinking, OK, OK, there’s a child, there’s adult, the shadow, the child is there, the adults not stepping up in the shadow. Let me just let me just get rid of the shadow pieces. I’ll be OK. It’s like no, no, no, Sam. Like that. The only reason that shadow is stepping up is because you as an adult have it right.

That’s good. That’s so.

So you step up. I said put it behind you. Right. This would imagine like the like put it behind you. It’s what a shower with. It’s not right behind you. Right. And. And you be you. Yeah, so good, so I have two things because we have to wrap up on time. I know you have a hard stop and I want to be mindful and thankful of your time. One, I really want you to get the replica of that outfit that you wore in middle school, like find it, put a helmet on and take a picture for marketing purposes.

Like it would be so sweet to see you in those issues with a helmet on and be like, talk to me now, though.

I don’t want to go back to those days to Ripley’s, though, maybe go back. We might also be like, yeah, yeah. I remember everybody talked about me and I was 13 like, you know, probably become a trend like your to where I was awesome.

I’m going to I am just honored and so grateful and I cannot wait to consume the rest of your book, but I want everybody to know where to find you and other ways that they can get in touch with you, because y’all he really is. He’s just a real raw, true Christian and a man of God. And I’m so grateful to be in community in connection with that part of Jesus, because it’s another character side of him that I get to see through you.

And it’s pretty rad now.

Thank you so much, Sammara. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me on. I’m just honored that you would think of me and share me with your audience, and then secondly, if anybody wants to connect, feel free to go get my book, let the world see you. How to be real in a world full of face available. Go to you can go to anywhere. Books are sold at Barnes Noble. It’s actually going to be at every single target store.

So go to Target.

Go get this thing at target audience target there. Yes. Go to Tajai. Go to charge. Go get let the world see you. And also go to Sam Sammarco book dot com S.A.M., a book dot com that don’t just give you a link to Target or Barnes Noble or Amazon or you having so and if you want to connect with me as well, I’m on social media. It’s at the Sammarco. But most importantly, I just want you all to hear the message of this book.

And Tamara, you and I have a chat a little bit like my goal is that two things. Number one. When I leave this earth, I want people to say, say this about me, I want them to say that Sam love me, Will. That’s my goal. People say, Sam, love me.

Well, you talk about the odds. You live with Ben, right? There was a year we kind of go back and forth then like I was like, man, God, I do God, it’s for you and God loves you. He’s like, Yeah, yeah. And guys, I know you’re all listening. And this message is for everyone regardless. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

God loves you. You know what I mean? And yeah. And even tamira like that. And I know I know we’re just get to know each other. But man, like it’s all about the smile. Like, like I was like a light up a room. You have a smile like a light up a room. It’s so used that God gave me that for a reason. Right. And so anyways. Yeah. So Sam actual book dotcom.

Better yet, go to Target, forget my website, go to Target, go get the book or go to Target, Dotcom, Barnes and Noble, wherever. But I’m excited because it’s a target. So I’m literally I just got out there today so I’m like that’s the only place I’ll tell people to go.

Well, we are honored. Thank you so much for sharing. You guys go get the book and just support Sam in any other way. I know that this is just the beginning of something new that God has to just unfold. And I’m proud of you as a fellow brother to just put the shadow behind us. Like, let’s do that. Let’s wake up and put the shadow behind us and really walk into our vulnerability and transparency. And when we have that moment with the Lord every single day, stretching, becoming fit and faith to just be the best version of who Jesus hasn’t set for us and plan for us that very day.

So, yeah, I love you guys. Thank you for listening. And we’ll see you soon. Hey, it’s me again, I hope in today’s episode, you sense and ignite to an ember within you, something mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually moving that creates and sustains a fire within your journey. Before you go, let’s solidify the flame. I’d love for you to take a step right now. And declaring your take away by snapping a pic of the episode, you tuned in to share your Sparks moment and tag me at Bittern Face Underscore podcast or me personally at Tamara and Respon.

Instead, I hope that I can keep you accountable and also share you with the greater community of the podcast listeners. We’re totally in this together. Community over competition is the motto, right? I’d also be incredibly grateful if you took an extra second to lead a review on iTunes or your podcast listening app. I’d love to feature your thought in the next episode and give you and your passion project a big shout out. You know I’m a writer, so I love words and I can’t wait to read what you have to say.

I’m ready to fuel the flame with you together and until next time, blessings over your joy, help, wealth and wholeness. Tune in next.

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